Celebrate the Small Wins

Let's talk about this advice you always hear about called celebrating the wins, right? It's about celebrating the small steps, the initial steps towards achieving your goals and why that's so important. But let's be honest, right off the bat, sometimes you don't do that. And that's why you need to watch this video. And you and I both know that there's so many days that you actually do a good job. You go out in the world, you knock off your to do lists, you do two or three things that stretch or push you. You add some creativity and flair to the world. And you feel like at the end of the day, you know, I did a good job today. And you kind of like, maybe you have a glass of wine to celebrate or you eat your favorite food or you take a walk and you brag with your friends. Whatever it is for you, at the end of the day, you feel pretty good about yourself. But there's also plenty of days where you actually do the same thing, achieve those to dos, you know, make an impact, like, do your thing. But then at the end of the day, you just go to bed and you don't really notice that you achieve something. And here's what this is about and why this is so important. So many people deserve to feel so much better about themselves. They deserve to feel stronger and more capable and more confident, but they don't because they're waiting for the big huge win before they ever allow that win to be integrated in their identity, right? They might win a couple games, but they didn't win the championship. So they never let themselves feel like a winner. They do a good job, a couple days at work, but no one said, great job and no one gave them a raise. And so they go home and they're like, they don't feel it because they're not allowing themselves to feel the wins. But we know from psychology and we know from goal attainment theory that unless you're starting with those small steps and giving yourself credit for them, the odds are you're not going to go on to the next steps that are bigger and bigger and bigger because. Because your identity is still at the beginning stage, right? If you always feel like the beginner at something and you never feel the competency gains that comes from accomplishing and moving forward, but giving yourself credit for it, you're not likely to take on the bigger things in life. So check yourself on this one. When's the last time you really gave yourself credit? When's the last time you really celebrated just a Small little thing and comment below. What was that thing? What did you do? What was the achievement or what was the step you took? And how did you celebrate? Did you go out to dinner? Did you tell your spouse about it? Did you write in journal about it? Did you put something up and frame it? Like, what did you do to celebrate that you were beginning? Because I bet if you're watching this, there's probably some part of your life right now you feel like it's in maybe, like, transition. You know, your career is changing or you want it to change, or your relationships are in transition, or you're in transition of your health, you're trying to get healthier, Something's going on. And so those little steps you're taking, are you celebrating them? Well, here's three ways that maybe will help you think through it and do it more often. Number one, you need to have what we call a reflection schedule. I know, stupid fancy phrase, but you need to have a reflection schedule. If there is not a set time in the week that you sit down and you think about the wins that you had during the week, you won't do it. I mean, you'll be one of those people who, like, do it on December 31st when you're looking back at the whole year and you're like, what did I do this year? Oh, I can't really remember. Do I feel good about this year? I don't know. Right? You know what I'm talking about. So you need to have a weekly scheduled block time where you think about the week with the sole purpose of asking, what did I do well this week? What do I achieve this week? What went well this week? What good things happened that I didn't even anticipate? What good things did I do? How can I feel good about something that happened this week? What could I notice that happened that brought me joy or brought me fulfillment or brought me a sense of accomplishment or even just made me feel more connected. You need to have that weekly scheduled reflection time. I'll tell you, it's one of the most important parts of the confidence that I've gained in my own life. Because I wasn't a super confident kid, I kind of had to fake my way into it by, like, just revving myself up and doing a lot of things that, you know, personal, like, motivational. Guys talk about, like, rah rah stuff, but we all know that's like a band aid. At some point, we have to integrate our accomplishments and achievements into our identity if we're going to feel stronger so when's your time going to be? For me, it's every Sunday night. Every Sunday night, I look back at the previous week and I ask myself about 10 questions very similar to what I asked you. You know, what could I. What happened that was great this week? How can I feel good about something? What can I notice that I appreciated? What small step did I take that you know what, maybe it didn't get a big win or maybe it didn't get appreciated, but it moved me forward, even if it was just a little tiny thing, even it was just sending an email, even if it was just making a call. What small steps did I make this week that are going to make me better next week? What small steps did I take this week that will help me continue climbing the mountain towards my highest ideals? What small steps did I take that I can celebrate? If I don't ask that question every Sunday, it just doesn't happen. So please start your reflection practice every week. That's my first idea. Second big idea, Allow yourself to actually feel. Feel the win. And I know it sounds like the first tip, but it's very different. A lot of people, they'll journal, they'll write down a list. Yeah, I did this. And the reflection schedule becomes like a to do list for them. Yep, I did, I did that. I did. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And they just write down a list. Look, you have to relive it and feel it and integrate it if it's really going to generate confidence for you. So when you're doing your reflection schedule or even at the end of each night, if you just want to sit there, close your eyes, think about something great you did that day, a small step you took that day. And then just allow it that heartfelt, that deep connection of satisfaction or engagement that comes with recognizing yourself. I know it sounds silly, but, you know, a lot of people, they take selfies all day, but they really don't know who they are. And that happens because they're not connecting with the feelings of life. Right? They're all surface level all the time. Quick, take picture, picture selfie, selfie, selfie. And they're demonstrating something in the world, but they really don't even. They don't even understand their internal world. And it's your time to get a better connection with your internal world. And one way to do that is allow yourself to feel those small little steps and wins. Like, literally feel it. Like, I know it sounds silly, but I'm so proud of the stupid things that I do. Like right now, we're live on Instagram as I'm filming this, right? I have no idea how that's going. At the end of the day, I'm like, we went live on Instagram. How cool is that? Even if it was a total disaster and people called me horrible names, I'd be like, but we did it. Little steps, and I'll allow myself to feel it. I like, you've never met a kid who celebrates the dumbest little things like me, right? If you're ever around my wife or my family, we're so easily amused. We take so much joy in the smallest, dumb little things. And I think that's what spurs on that curiosity and later, that confidence in life. So allow yourself to really feel it. Connect with what you're doing again. Because a lot of people have a job they don't love, and they start disconnecting their feelings. A lot of people are in a relationship that maybe isn't as fulfilling as they had hoped to be at this stage of their life. So they disconnect. And we're so good, anytime a feeling comes up or we're unsure what to do, we turn to our phone so we can disconnect. Or we turn on Netflix so we can disconnect. Reaching that next level of enjoyment in life is re. Engaging, reconnecting, allowing the feeling to come back in again. And then I think my last big idea for you here on Celebrating the small win so you grow stronger, is to share them. I cannot believe how many people who are amazing, I'll meet somebody and I'll ask them five or six questions, and they're so not impressed with themselves, but they'll be like, yeah, I just surprised. You know, I just. Yeah, I just. I just survived cancer or. Yeah, you know, I just started my own business. And they don't think it's a big deal. I want you to learn to share what you're doing in your life with real enthusiasm. That's how you're really sharing the wins. That's how you're feeling the wins. That's how you're celebrating the wins. Share it with enthusiasm. Many of you all know I've been blessed to work with Paulo Coelho. He wrote the book called The Alchemist and 11 other international mega bestsellers. Right. I don't even know Paolo's, you know, over 20 million fans on Facebook. And just one of the great writers of our time, an extraordinary, extraordinary guy. I love him. And one of the things I remember him telling me on the phone was when I started working with him, he said, Brendan, what I love about Americans and about the United States is you're allowed to celebrate your successes with other people. That was a big motorbike. You're allowed to celebrate those successes with other people and not look like you're bragging or overly proud. And I know that's not the same in cultures around the world, but cultures around the world need to catch up with that truth, that sometimes in sharing what we're doing with enthusiasm, we feel better about life. We feel more engaged with you. Look, if I can't celebrate my wins with you, if I have to, like, minimize myself around you all the time, that's not a real relationship. That's lying. If you're not telling other people what you're proud of in your life, what you've accomplished and what you've achieved, not so that you can brag, but. But to share your real life, then you're not playing the game of life really well. You're so scared of other people's judgments, and you're so scared that they're going to think you're something and you're minimizing yourself. You're never going to get far in life by minimizing yourself, Right? Take pride and joy in what you've accomplished and achieved. Share with enthusiasm. I share the dumbest little things that I do with my audiences. You know, I'll be on stage, literally in front of thousands of people, and I'll say something on stage, and I thought that was so great. And I'll say, you know what? That was really great, right? And the audience is like, oh, yeah. And they get enthusiastic, too, because I'm enthusiastic. Be more enthusiastic about your life. Share what you're doing. Share those to do lists you're checking off. Share those accomplishments and achievements, and you'll feel so much more connected with your life, which you deserve to be. I hope that helps you. Thinking about this topic, it's time to celebrate the small win. Set up your schedule. Remember to feel it and then to share it. And now, suddenly, celebrating those small wins becomes part of your practice. You feel your life turned back on, and you'll notice every single day that you're more likely to try the harder things because you celebrated the smaller things. Thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe to my new podcast, the Brendon Show. It's available on itunes and Stitcher and wherever else you get your podcasts. And it's the exclusive place where I share my thoughts about life, about current events, about what I'm going through, about my advice for you as you seek to live an even more extraordinary life. It's called the Brendon show and it's available anywhere you get your podcast. So make sure you subscribe. 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