Defeat Negativity and Create Confidence: My OWN Livecast on Reigniting Your Life

Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard. And welcome to a special episode of the Brendon Show. I'm recording this special episode and I am fired up. Tonight I did a live webcast presentation for the Oprah Winfrey Network called six Life Changing Habits for Defeating Negativity and Creating Lasting Confidence. And I was so excited about the entire thing. I, I'm a member of Oprah Winfrey Network SuperSoul100, which is a group of people that Oprah and Oprah Winfrey Network has sort of named as their top 100 teachers who are folks like me out there trying to share a greater level of awareness and wisdom and love and goodness with the world, hoping to lift everybody to their highest and best selves. Well, you know, we did that live webcast tonight and let me tell you what, it didn't go so well. Now, it didn't go so well not because of the, you know, marketing or the show up rate. We had thousands of people there who were stoked and grateful because it was a free training for the Overwintree Network audience. I invited many of my audience there, but it didn't go so well because we had some technical issues. And I'm so fired up about it. And, you know, whenever I have technical issues, I just go right back to what is the mission? The, the mission is to get the message out there. Forget all the fancy technology, forget all the fancy tools. Sometimes we just have to do the best to get the message out in whatever way we can. And unfortunately, what happened tonight was that I had gotten delayed in my flights into town and matter of fact, I ended up in a different city than we were even planned to shoot the live cast at tonight, meaning I got to the airport. And you ever had one of those airport experiences where just everything goes wrong, you know, takes forever to get through security. And then you get to your gate and you're like literally running down to the gate and then you get there and it says, you know, flight delayed for an hour. So I wait the hour, then flight delayed for another hour, wait an hour, then flight delayed for three hours. And it's like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to get to where I need to be if that flight's delayed for three hours. Try to find five or six different connections, can't find it. End up having to go to a different city to get ready for this live webcast. And then getting there, there wasn't obviously the original setup equipment. There wasn't the cameras, There wasn't the Gear and it had to be put together sort of last min to make our date and our time to start our training. And we knew there would be thousands of people waiting, so did the best we could. But I didn't have the regular dashboard, the regular tools, the regular camera. And it was a live webcast called 6 Life Changing Habits for Defeating Negativity and Creating Lasting Confidence. Now the good news is I got to teach those six habits. The bad news is I had to teach them in a super accelerated format at a really poor resolution. And it was even harder for me to do what I do and interact with my audience in a live webcast. Cause I didn't have the original gear. And so I just thought, you know what, I'm gonna record this for you all. I didn't like the resolution it was kicking out at and it kind of was cutting in and out. So I stopped it about an hour early. It was supposed to go two hours of free training for people where I basically taught those six life changing Habits for Defeating Negativity and Creating Lasting Confidence and then told people about what we were doing with the Oprah Winfrey Network. If you didn't hear about that already. I have a course with Oprah Winfrey Network called Reignite youe Life. And I think it's very relevant right now where so many people are drowning in negativity and this, you know, sort of these difficult times, these chaotic times that is filled with a lot of judgment and hate and negative news at every turn. And people are feeling very overwhelmed and they're feeling like their lives have been kind of taken over by this, you know, bad mojo in the culture. And I wanted to give it back to them. So we created this course called Reignite youe Life. You can learn all about it if you go to Brendan.com that's B R E N-O-O-N.com own as in O W N which is the initials for Oprah Winfrey Network. So Brendon.com own you can learn all about it. I'll tell you about it later in this podcast. But I'd just like to teach you those six life changing Habits for Defeating Negativity and Creating Lasting Confidence right here, right now. And this will serve as a replay that I'll send out to everybody who was subscribed to join us on that live webcast. Because frankly, the video quality of that replay based on the equipment we had is not up to my standards. And so I thought I'd just record the entire thing over again for you. So I'm literally sitting on this hotel room floor right now, fired up with just nothing but my MacBook Pro laptop. If you want to know how I do it, I've got GarageBand open, which is a free application on a MacBook Pro. And I'm just recording this. You know, sometimes you just don't need all the technical fancies and you just need to talk to your people. And so I'm here for you, my friends, and I'm going to redo the entire training for you right now because I'm that fired up and I want to deliver. So I apologize if the audio quality is not what it usually is, but hopefully it is sufficient enough to get you some training right now. Your family and your career, your team, the culture, society, needs you to be in a positive, optimistic, centered, strong, conscious space where you can manage this storm and stay centered. We can manage this difficult time where people are coming at you from every area with different beliefs, different feelings, different political ambitions, different philosophies of life where you can manage it and be your best self without debasing your spirit, without devolving into the blame and anger and frustration, but also just not getting caught up in that in a way in which you lose focus each day. So what I'd like to teach you today is basically three big buckets of content, which is, number one, how do you manage your energy right now? Number two, how do you manage your focus so you get your life back? Reigniting your life is ultimately taking back your life's agenda and your focus and your energy so that you can feel and contribute at the levels you really want to in life. So we'll talk about that focus. And then third, we'll be talking about confidence because I believe we need confident and competent leaders right now. We need people who are living their best selves and, you know, strong in their sense of who they are, strong in their ability to stand up, strong in their ability to serve. So if you in any way have felt like you have not been living your best life, like you're not on your A game, like you don't have the energy or the focus or the influence you have in the world, it's time, my friend, to reignite your life. And that is what we've been talking about here. And if you want a full course on that, I mean literally a full online course with full curriculum, just go to brendan.com own o w n. We have a limited time special right now where you can actually get not only the course, but when you get the course I'll send you a free copy of my new book, High Performance Habits, How Extraordinary People Become that Way. I'll send you access to the deluxe audio version of that, which includes extra videos. I'll give you an extra course on how to manage your overall life energy, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. And I'll send you a free copy of Oprah Winfrey's new book, Wisdom of Sundays. I just happened to be at her book launch brunch at her house with what felt like every major celebrity I've ever admired in my life. It was pretty magical experience. And as my thanks to Oprah Winfrey, I'm going to give away a copy of her book, which I will purchase personally. They have no involvement in this and they had no idea I was gonna do this. I will buy a copy of their book and I will send that. Since I'm sending you a copy of book, I'll send you a copy of Oprah's new book as well. Both those books are like 20 bucks. My energy course is like 97 bucks. And you get all of that for like 69 bucks. Right now is a huge special along with my course when you go to brendan.com own. I hope that will serve you with that. Let's get in these six habits again. Three big buckets tonight, dealing with energy, specifically dealing with negativity and finding positivity and optimism in your life. Number two, focus. And number three, confidence. Number one. Now we're going to do six habits, and I'll cover all themes related to those things I just talked about within each of these habits. Number one, habit. You must learn to own your energy. It has to be a conscious effort to own your energy. And let me tell you how to do that specifically related to dealing with negative people. Because maybe you have somebody in your life, you know, a spouse or somebody at work or somebody in your community or someone in your, you know, your close circle, your family, your friends, who is always doubting you or always judging you, telling you you're not enough, not good enough, not smart, ripping on you, tearing down your ideas. And over a period of time, that can lead to a lot of frustration and then ultimately to resignation, where you're not being who you really are, where you're not given your absolute best, where you start feeling bad not only about yourself but about the world. And so how do we deal with that? We make a conscious choice to own our energy. And here's what I mean. Specifically, I want to give you the actual triggers and habits, tactics to use when this happens, okay? So next time somebody spreads a bunch of negativity at you, here's what I want you to do. I want you to ask yourself four questions. So bust out your journal, my friend, and write these down. Four questions I want you to ask yourself. And I want it to be like the trigger is someone says something negative to you, posts a negative comment, says something or does something mean, and you start to feel negative. You start to feel the actual feeling effect of their negativity, their judgment, their harshness, the difficult situation, whatever it is. So negativity enters your life. Bam, you ask four questions. Number one question I want you to ask is, where will my power reside? In other words, for short, where is my power? Is my power out there in their hands or is my power in my hands? Am I going to hand them my power to make me think, feel or act in a certain way? In other words, am I going to allow myself to be a reaction driven animal? Am I going to allow myself to be a robot that just automatically responds to the input? Or am I going to be a conscious person who owns my power? Will I have personal power or will I give them my power? That is the very first thing. Where is the sense of control going to be out into the world that's so chaotic and crazy right now, out to that person who's calling you names or being a bully, or will you keep power of your own thoughts, feelings and actions? You know, in the worst of circumstances probably in history, we had a psychiatrist by the name of Viktor Frankl. You probably know him by his work and his seminal work called Man's Search for Meaning. He talked about how in the concentration camps in the Holocaust, he witnessed so many people going through the worst of possible human atrocities. I mean, not just a negativity, but an evil that is almost unimaginable. And what he noticed was that some people did manage, if they were blessed to have survived, did manage to live on and go on with their life, including people he deeply cared about. He saw people who more healthfully dealt with the situation and he observed what he thought was happening in their, sort of, their psychology. And what he said in the book was the last of the human freedoms, meaning they can take away everything from you. But the last of the human freedoms is the ability to choose one's own attitude in any given set of circumstances. Look, you might have a negative office environment, but you can choose to have a positive attitude. You might have that spouse who keeps beating you down psychologically. You might have that person who's the bully or the abuser in your life. I don't mean to say that that is easy. We've all had it, and I certainly have. You know, I remember in high school I worked for a boss and this person was, you know, sort of a recognized leader in the community, was admired by people because of his wealth and his tenacity, but he was also a very mean person. He was somebody who screamed every time he didn't get what he want. You know, I started working there as literally somebody who cleaned the shop like a janitor and cleaning toilets, cleaning the shop, cleaning the offices, work my way up to clerk to assistant, office manager to office manager. And you know, one thing that allowed me to survive that experience was literally every time this person screamed, I didn't hand them my power. In fact, I thought in my mind, what a poor use of his power. How sad that this person never developed greater psychological tools or social influence ability, that the best of his ability is only to scream. How sad for him. And instead of feeling bad for myself, instead of feeling like a victim, I just thought, you know what? I'll never be like that. And you know what? I'll make it a game. He can be as negative as he wants. I'm not going to fall into it because you know what? Where is my power? It's in my heart, my power. You know what? Your soul power is a lot bigger than somebody's big mouth. And so your job, my friend, is to soon as negativity hits, you ask, where will my power be? Will I give it away or will I maintain it? Will I stay centered? Will I be in control of my own thoughts, feelings and actions? And where do I want those to be? That's the first question. Where's my power? Write it down. Second question I want you to ask yourself. How would my highest self respond to this situation? This is probably if you studied my work for a long time. Been a very important question in my life. I can't tell you how many difficult situations I've been through. Just like you, you know, of, you know, promotions that didn't work, of business ideas that didn't work, of relationships that didn't work, of a lot of health issues from brain injury to lots of broken bones, whether it was my, you know, ATV accident in 2011 that gave me the brain injury I write about in some of my books to, you know, lots of broken bones throughout my life from being an active crazy person. But, you know, I've also lost my father and, you know, I've also lost Dear Friends, many of you know, this summer I lost my grandma. And in those situations, it's easy to be disappointed or devastated. But because I choose to maintain my power, I also say, well, how would my highest self respond to this? Like, when my grandmother died, I of course wanted mourn, and I of course cried. But when my brother called me to tell me it so delicately, because we all loved my grandmother so much. When I was growing up in Montana, she would come and spend some summers with us. And she was lived in France and didn't speak, you know, very much English, frankly. But her spirit, her soul, her energy around us was so loving and warming and accepting and so patient. You know, she really gave us something to aspire towards in our life. Well, when she passed away and my brother called me, I really thought about that. How would my highest self respond to the situation right now? I know I want to break down and cry. I know I want to scream, that's unfair. I know I want to do this. But your highest self wants to respond from a place that is loving and thoughtful and caring and patient and conscious. And so I thought, how would my highest self respond? My highest self would accept that this is what has happened. My highest self would be grateful for every second I ever had with my grandmother. My highest self would immediately honor her and start sharing positive memories of her. My highest self would check in on my brother, call my sister, call my mom, call my other brother. My highest self would think about them and calling them and just talking with them, listening to how they're dealing with it, sharing our positive memories, just letting them know that I love them, being there for them. My highest self would go into a state of reverence for life, a deep gratitude, not just for grandma and the time we had with her. My highest self would think about, man, I'm lucky to be alive. Honor this breath, Brendan. Feel these next moments. Recognize the gifts of life. That's how my highest self would respond. The third question I want you to ask is, who shall I be now? Because, you know, negative energy or negative moments or negative situations, they kind of give you a choice. Fall into that negativity or demonstrate something else. And there's like a demarcation line, right, lying in the sand, where at some point in our lives, we choose no longer to give away our power. We choose to be our highest self. So now the question becomes, well, who shall I be now? Not just how my high self respond to this specific situation. Who do I want to be tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month, in Other words, utilizing that negative energy or that challenges or those issues to become a better person. Who shall I be? Oh, you know, I want to be a person who is ignited in life, who has positive energy and, you know, buoyancy. I want to feel like I'm alive and vibrant. I want to adore and appreciate my loved ones. I want to spend my days following my passions and serving a higher calling, a mission to help spread some good energy, some wisdom, some tried and true practices for becoming your best self in the world. That's what I want myself to be about. And I would have to tell myself that when somebody broke up with me in high school or college or in my 20s, I'd have to tell myself that when I would go bankrupt starting this new career as a thought leader after I left a safe corporate job to write my first book, start my seminars, start coaching and inspiring people. And that all failed when I first began because I had no idea what to do. There was no experts academy back then. You just kind of. People were all making it up. There was no curriculum or frameworks or real ways to think about building a thought leader brand, you know, back in the early 2000s. And so I had to piece all that together. And I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew who I wanted to be. And every failure along the way, I would just accept and I'd say, okay, well, what have I learned here and now? Who shall I be? That didn't go the way I want. Okay, now who shall I be? That person was mean to me and said mean things about that video. Okay, now who shall I be? And having the intention for the type of person you want to be must always be an action step. After dealing with negativity. Every run in with negativity you have should trigger an action step that says, what is my intention of who I want to be? Negativity, intention. Negativity, intention. Negativity, intention. Without that discipline, you fall into a reactive life that will ultimately drag you down into depths of despair and darkness that will be insurmountable to come out of without even greater intention. It's hard to reignite your life without a higher intention for who you are, for how you want to treat people, for what you want, for your family, for what you believe is possible in your career. So, my friends, who shall you be? Now, the fourth question I'd like you to ask is, what's the next right action of integrity for me? What's the next right action of integrity for me? You know, we all deal with negativity with people. And what happens often is what we want to do. Our next right action we feel like is getting back at them, you know, making fun of them or turning into a negative person as well, or, you know, an eye for an eye nonsense where we feel like, oh, they're rude to us. Well, let me show them, you know, and all of a sudden we become a worse person. So what's the next right action of integrity? And you know what, most of the time is that next right action of integrity has nothing to do with the other person. It's not about, you know, beating them back. It's not about, you know, getting even often. It's about not even giving them the time of day. Not wasting your time and energy there. Now, I know some people can say, and we had this question in our chat roll, and I'll be taking many of the questions we had in our live cast presentation. I kept all those questions in our chat roll for those who are listening, as the replay of that live cast. Don't worry, I've got all your questions here. I'm going to take them at the end of this recording. I'll make sure I address them and I'll also announce those winners again for some of you who might have missed the announcements in case you were somebody. So trust me, keep listening. But I know one of the questions that we had was someone who said, well, Brendan, you know, how do I change somebody who is negative? And there's a lot of different ways to answer that question. But let me start with the first one first. You are not responsible for all the train wrecks that happen in other people's lives. You are not always responsible to be other people's trainers. You know that old saying, I think it says that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well, I don't believe that. I believe if you are a competent trainer, you can certainly teach any dog any trick. But listen here, maybe you don't always have to be the trainer. Maybe you're not even qualified to be the trainer. And here's what I mean by that. Maybe you got somebody at work who's just the negative, awful person, and you have tried everything to turn them around. You know what? Let that negative, angry, mean person keep doing whatever they're doing as. As right action of integrity. I want you to speak up against those things. Obviously, if they're harming you or other people. But I'm talking about, like, that person just with the negative, you know, attitude. Maybe you can't change that person, you know, if you're saying you've tried, maybe let go of control and need to be that person's educator and let life be that person's educator. Because you know what always happens for negative people? Life educates them. Oh, boy. Life really educates them. Let life be their trainer. You focus on living your life. You focus on the energy in which you want to bring into the world. Despite that person, you keep control of your power. You live as your highest self. You be intentional about how you're going to be. You determine the next right actions of integrity, regardless of that person. Now, I'm not saying that we all just turn a blind eye to negative people at work because of course, we'd love to try. So we'll talk about some ways to do that too. But ultimately, I hope you hear what I'm talking about here. Dealing with negativity in our life is ultimately a measure of our own self reliance, self awareness. If someone's negativity is getting to you, that's not about that person. That's about you. It's about how you are responding. It's about what you are acting like the next day. And so I say, take back your energy. That's the ultimate habit of both, I think, high performance and the ability to deal with negativity. Own your energy. My friends, if you've heard me teach before, you know that the greatest metaphor of my lifetimes. Lifetimes. Boy, that came out plural. Maybe that was a slip. I don't know. Maybe I've had multiple lifetimes. I have no idea. But let me share this with you. The greatest metaphors I've learned in my lifetime are ultimately about second chances. That was my car accident. And then also about energy. And that my favorite metaphor is that the power plant doesn't have energy. It generates energy. In fact, maybe you've heard me share that before. One time I was on stage sharing that, and a person raised their hand and he happened to be literally a hydraulic engineer. And he shares with us, he says, well, Brendan, your metaphor isn't exactly correct. A power plant actually doesn't generate energy. What a power plant does is it takes energy from one source, transforms that energy into. Into another, more useful source, stores it, and then transmits it. And what a power plant is doing is managing all that process of taking it from one source of energy, transforming it into another, storing it at appropriate amounts that are safe and needed and required, and then transmitting it out into the world. And I love that so much. And I really believe that's what you can do with that negativity. You can take that negative energy of the world and you can transform it into a different kind of energy. You can ensure that you're storing energy in your life that's positive, that's grateful, that's loving, and that that's what you're transmitting instead of that negativity. I know this sounds like it's just me meandering, but let me tell you what. Ultimately it is your choice. You must own your energy and stop giving away your power. So those four questions are, where is my power? Number two, how would my highest self respond? Number three, now who shall I be? And number four, what's the next right action of integrity? And I'd like to do a timely note here, even though I know this replay will be. You'll download this and people will be listening to this, you know, years later on my podcast or wherever they find this. But while I'm recording this, there is a very big movement right now of women speaking out against those who have harassed them. There was a major celebrity named Harvey Weinstein who basically sexually harassed and assaulted many women throughout his career. And that has been recently come to light. And dozens of people have come out not only against him, but also now you've got a movement of I don't know how many thousands and thousands of women who are very inspiring. Their next right action of integrity is speaking up and calling a wrong a wrong. And that is brave and that is courageous. And I just give a huge shout out to that because I believe that is incredibly hard and difficult. I, throughout my life have dealt with lots of different types of harassment and a lot of negativity and a lot of people abusing their power with me or towards me, or towards me, my family, my students, people. And I know that feeling is so difficult to deal with. And sometimes the next right action of integrity is calling a wrong a wrong. So if you are being mistreated in some kind of way, I just give you a shout out from across the energetic space here to say, care for yourself, my friend. Speak up for yourself. Tell the world what you really think, feel, need, desire, dream of. And if you are being mistreated, seek support, seek professional support. Talk to other people at work, ask for help from your community members. But sometimes the next right action of integrity is truly standing up for yourself and speaking out against the evils of the world so that those evils don't continue on unnoticed or unpunished or un, at least treated. And so I honor those who are dealing with that type of negative energy in the world. I recognize it's very difficult. Now, I did hear this question of saying, well, Brennan, what do I need to do? I want to impact somebody. So, okay, I got it. I own my energy, thank you very much. Now what? Well, what I like to do. The second habit is to always notice the overlap between self awareness and social influence. First is self awareness is owning your energy when somebody is being negative and also asking, is that person being really negative or are they just communicating in a different style than you're used to? Meaning do they have a different love language or do they have a different communicative style? And that's just not what you're comfortable with. A lot of people think that many people are being negative when they have a different conflict style. As an example, you know, in my own life, you know, I grew up in a family where everyone was screaming at each other. My mom and my dad and the kids and everyone. We just. We grew up in a very volatile environment. Sometimes when my mom and dad would get in an argument, at least it felt that way to young kids. My parents were incredibly loving of each other ultimately, but they had different communication styles completely. And so that conflict would seem very heated to others who just didn't, you know, know about conflict styles, which includes us kids. We didn't know about it at the time. Now, obviously, as a professional communicator, and I have my master's degree in communication studies, I recognize it was just different patterns. So you might be dealing with a person who just has different patterns from you. And so you need to be self aware of is someone doing something that's not a big deal, but it's triggering something in you because you had issues in the past unrelated to current situation. But you're bringing all those things in because a lot of people who say, well, that person is negative all the time, actually they just have a different style. And so be self aware of whether or not you are sensing their different approach as negativity, Meaning no, if you're the one also bringing in the drama in the situation, I think that's very important to give a shout out to. But then here's another deal on social influence in that if you want to influence other people, there really is only three ways to do that. And look, I go in depth on this in my book, so I'm going to be very brief about it. And remember, you can get a copy of my book, High Performance Habits, if you could just go order our new course, Reignite youe life. Brendan.com own, but let me share this with you. Social influence ultimately comes from shaping how people think and then also challenging them and then also role modeling the way. So how do you shape how people think? Well, if someone is negative, what usually happened is there was an input meeting, didn't go well, kid didn't get what they want from the sister or the mom or somebody else. You know, teacher's disappointed work result fails. But somebody, something, an input happens, and somebody only sees the bad in it, and then they start spouting off about it, and it feels like gossip, drama, negativity, and anger. And so their energy is coming from a source, and from that source, they only recognize a negative thing. So if you want to change their thinking, you can go back to the source and ask them questions about the source to get them to notice or observe good things that actually happened there. So if your child comes home from work and they throw their school books down and they're angry and they're upset, input was the day at school. Your job is to ask, well, did you see anything at school that was good today? Tell me about that. It's to have those dinner, you know, those evening conversations around the dinner table of asking, hey, let's all share three things that did go well today, or three things we recognize today that were beautiful or that we can appreciate or that surprised us, or if anything, that at least we found interesting. And so going around the table and talking about things that are interesting, beautiful, nice, good, we start developing the pattern of thinking where people notice those things. Most negative people aren't bad people. They just fail to notice the great blessings of life. And so their pattern is input, negative. Then they open their mouth and negative comes out. So you need to help people start noticing things. And so if you're the negative person I'm talking to right now, please listen, my friend. Your job is to start developing a practice in which you do notice the beautiful things of life. To notice those simple moments of life where someone holds a door open or picks up that phone that somebody forgot and hands it back to them, or says a nice thing about your work where you actually hear it and feel it and accept the compliment, or notice that you do have the opportunity to live where you live, to serve how you get to choose to serve, that you do have a family, that you do have possibility, that you do have some measure of abundance, that you do have at least choice. Be grateful for that. So notice the inputs of the day or the situation or the experience, and start bending their observations towards the positive. Is one way to start influencing other people. Now, of course, there is subtlety to that. So when you go through my course, Reignite youe Life, there's a section in there that we talk about creating and maintaining positive relationships. And please watch that one closely. So if you really need help with that, just ask the question. Is your relationships and having a positive relationship in your life worth whatever it is? 69 bucks. Well, if it is, you can go to brendon.com/o w n and get that course for 69 bucks plus a copy of Oprah's book. That'll help you really become a more positive thinking person. That's 20 bucks for her book, 20 bucks. Usually for my book we give you those for free. And then I give you a $97 course on energy so that you are more positive mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, that you're feeling a full sense of charge in life. That $97 course you get for free too when you go to brendon.com own now. I hope it's okay. I'm talking about my courses, obviously, as you know, in my podcasts and all of my blogs and all of my videos. For now over a decade, I have not accepted any sponsors or any advertisements. So the only way for me to self fund all this as we do around the world is for me to have other products and programs that allow us to survive and allow us to thrive and allow us to build the business to serve the people that we serve. So you supporting my courses allows me to do that. So I hope it's okay that I'm sharing with you the importance of this course right now and these bonuses. And so your job, my friend, is to start socially influencing others by, by directing their attention to what is good. The second aspect of that is to challenge people, especially if you have kids, make it a game. Challenge them to notice the good things. Challenge them if they're having a negative day or a spouse having a negative day. Challenge them to say, hey, you know what, it was a bad day. But hey, let's challenge ourselves to be positive people. What could we notice that is going well? What control do we still have? What choices or options do we do? We still have. Let's talk about that and challenge them. I mean, challenge their attitude. I, I think it's important. If you're a leader, that's your job, is to consistently challenge people to maintain a positive attitude. Because hey, look, in any given organization there's probably dozens or hundreds of things falling apart every day. You know, emails that are Sent that aren't good. You know, conflicts that are happening in the office, challenges that are happening at home. And that's okay. That's inevitable, isn't it? True, isn't it? Isn't chaos and conflict inevitable? Well, I believe in a universe that expands the way it does. Of course it is, right. There is a sense of flow and meaning and purpose to everything. But there's also 7 billion people bouncing around this planet. Not all of them are doing a good job. And so think about it. There's going to be conflict. Your job is to challenge people to meet that conflict at a higher level from a better space. And then, of course, the best of anything that we can all do is to keep role modeling the way to really be that person who's so engaged, so enthusiastic, so energized, that ultimately you bring a smile to people's face. We're going to talk about how to do that later in the confidence section. I think you'll really love that. So we've talked about two habits so far. Number one is own your energy. And number two is notice the overlap between self awareness. So really pay attention to how you're responding and to what you're bringing to a situation. But also know social influence. Challenge how people think, challenge how they're behaving, and challenge yourself to be a role model. Now, in those contexts, we start to feel a little more positive when we take back our personal power and we start influencing others. We'll talk about some more ways to do that in terms of authentic confidence. But I also promise to talk about another big bucket here that I think will help, which is taking back your focus. You know, a lot of people have lost the power of intention because they're just responding all the time to the negativity around them and. And they're losing themselves by just living a life of response versus a life of intention. So let's talk about how to get you back on track so that you're living your highest, most intentional self. And it begins with such a tactical, simple thing that you can do. I think you're really gonna love this. And this habit, number three is the habit of a weekly review. I think it's so important right now, in a time that's really going to be defined later on as a time of distraction and division, that you have a sense of focus and a sense of unity. Well, how do we do that? How do we make sure that your focus and your unity. And maybe I'll use another word for unity in this sense of integrity. How do you do that? Well, I think the simplest actions tend to support us, that common sense when well applied makes us masters. But common sense, when avoided leads to challenges in our practice. And so here's what it is, very simple. I want you to start the habit of a weekly review every Sunday. I want you to sit down Sunday evening and do an assessment of your previous week so that Monday through Saturday that just happened. And I want you to look at every major area of your life and I want you to score yourself, meaning, you know, I want you to look at your health, your family, your friends, your career, your mission or your passions or hobbies. I want you to look at your finances. I want to let you look at your behavior and energy throughout the week. However, you want to define the major areas of your life. And then I want you to score yourself in each area on a score of 1 to 10. Because ultimately reaching success or high performance in our life as we call it. And high performance just means that you attain long term success while maintaining a high level of well being. And there is a science to that. That's why my new book is about well, to do that. I think it's important for us to stay on track. And the way that we do that is that every Sunday we just score ourselves. You can't reach high performance if you're not measuring something. So we need to measure each area of our life so that we can see where we're at each Sunday. Now, when you first start this practice, it doesn't usually feel great because most people are so random or reactive in their life that they, when they do these evaluations, when they have a birthday that ends in a zero, or it's New Year's, or it's a particularly challenging time, they get a divorce or the kids leave the house and they finally ask, oh my gosh, who am I? What have I been doing? Where am I out? And they start looking at themselves. It's difficult. But here's the thing. The more consistently you do look at yourself, the more you find yourself staying on track. You know, a midlife crisis happens for most people because they haven't really evaluated themselves in years. They haven't really thought about themselves except maybe on a, maybe a monthly, quarterly or yearly basis. But look, if we can get you to every Sunday, hey, maybe you watch your super Soul Sunday, you know, shout out to the Oprah Winfrey Network and to Oprah for putting all that together. Maybe you watch that and then you sit down and you measure each area of your life on a scale of 1 to 10. One being you suck and you're terrible in that area and 10 being you're doing a phenomenal job in there. Now you're probably never gonna be tens in every area of your life. I rarely am, very rarely. But for me, what it does is it keeps me on track. It helps me realize where I'm falling out of balance or out of practice or lacking intention. And so then part of my intention or goals going into the next week is to give that area of my life just a little bit more awareness, a little bit more attention, a little bit more excellence. It's not like I have to right side my entire life or change everything. It's just that, you know what, Let me steer back, let me get back on track a little bit in this area. And so of course, there are areas of life that sometimes can feel really comp, you know, let's see, let's say compromised. And that's, you know, you know, you're doing it, you're launching your business and you know, you're noticing you're having less time with your husband or the kids or you've just had kids and you notice you're having less time for your own, you know, health or passions or business or, you know, something, you know, sort of urgent is happening at work and you've gotten pulled away from projects that really matter. We've all been there before. But if that goes on week after week, month after month, year after year, without any self evaluation or measurement, that's when we get in a lot of trouble. So the only way that we get more balanced in life without ever attaining a perfect balance, but get more balanced, find a greater say, span of harmony or a greater sweet spot of life where we are in flow in multiple areas of our life, our health, our career, our, you know, our relationships. That only happens if we're checking in. And so this habit of weekly review is so critical. I do it every Sunday. I think I'm on my gosh, I have to guess here, seven years maybe with my Sunday reviews. And it just, you know, sometimes I can do it in 2, 3, 4, 5 minutes. Sometimes I just sit there and I Journal for 30 minutes to an hour. It just depends on what else is going in my life. But I do the check in every Sunday. Why does this matter? Because I don't ever lose focus on the major areas of my life. You want to feel really negative, you want to feel a complete lack of confidence? Then don't focus on the major areas of your life and let Life tell you where to focus, because usually life is going to tell you to focus on the demands of other people. And all of a sudden you're meeting the demands of other people and you don't even see the needs that you have. And all of a sudden your spirit feels completely suppressed. And that is where a lot of spiritual negative energy comes from. When you've got the spirit that wants to express itself and live itself and, you know, basically pursue its highest self and you're not giving any attention to any part of your life, that's the worst. And so the nice thing is by checking in every Sunday, it causes your mind to start now prioritizing yourself, to start looking at the areas of your life and say, oh my gosh, I'm really out of balance here. Let me do something. Because the nice thing about scoring yourself is it doesn't. It activates one of the critical, most profoundly powerful sort of parts of our psyche, and that is guilt. Your brain, when your brain sees that, hey, in the area of my health, I'm at a level 2 and I know there's a level 10. 2 is bad. 10 is awesome. Your brain says, come on man, let's get our stuff together. And that can be something that either creates a downer for you or a motivator for you. And ultimately, you guessed it, that's your choice. So it's so powerful when you finally realize that, oh, this is under my control. I have a level two here, but I could get it up to a level three. In a couple months I could get to four, and by the end of the year, I could have it up to seven. That's very motivating and empowering. Yes, you might feel guilty about not spending enough time with your family. When you look at there and you see, you know, you rate yourself on family and you notice that, oh my gosh, I'm really low here. That can make you feel sad, but it can also raise your ambition there. You know, part of my course, Reignite youe Life Again. You can check it out. And the full curriculum, sort of an outline of what the course is about, is available@Brendan.com Please make sure you check that out, by the way, because I don't know when you're listening to this, but this is a limited time offer only. It actually ends this. I don't know when you're listening this week or this month, so make sure you listen to it. Brendon.com ownown but I talk about the importance of reigniting your ambitions. If you're Actually gonna reignite your life. Like our motivations, the spark of all motivation is ultimately ambition. It's desire to have something more, be something more, express something more, feel something more. That desire, which I'll just call ambition for short, is necessary for major change in our life. Most people, they think that, you know, change only happens when people hit threshold or they only have crises. But look, even threshold and crises makes you reevaluate life and want something better, something more, something different and ambition for something different. And ambition is a good thing. Ambition for you to have more personal power, more abundance, more love, more depth, more joy, more consciousness. That's good. Look, even the Dalai Lama has ambition to get better at his prayer. That is meditative practice. So it is not non spiritual to have ambition. Ambition for a better world is what makes the world better. So what I do in the course is I work with you to reignite your ambition. Because I know if I reignite your ambition, I reignite your life, which is the promise of the course. So if you're struggling with what you really want in life at this stage of your life, please make sure you go to brendon.com own that's B R E N-O-O-N.com O W N B R-E-N-O-N.COM O W N to see that course and that limited time only offer. We're about halfway through here. If we've talked about owning your energy by asking about where is your power? How might your highest self respond to the situation you're faced with? Who shall you be now? What's the next right action of integrity? Then we talked about noticing the overlap of self awareness and social influence and using the tools of social influence, shaping how people think, challenging them, and being a role model. This third practice was about establishing a weekly review. The fourth habit I'd like to talk to you about is evening planning. Evening planning. You know, again, reaction is living a life of reaction is so tied to lack of confidence, it's so tied to negative energy. So I got to talk about it. And it's necessary to talk about how you're managing your evenings. You know, most people just kind of, you know, crash land into their evenings, if you will. You know, it's just like they've had a long day. They come home, they got to get the kids, you know, fed and cleaned up and they gotta, you know, manage the house and put things together for the next day. And then they pass out and they're exhausted or they come home and sadly In American life, the average American now consumes four hours of television per day. Most of that coming in the evenings where they come home and they just decide to check out of life because it's easier to watch TV than to dream of a better life for yourself. And so those four hours of life, oh, my God, lost every night. Did you know the average American, because they watch four hours of television across the average adult lifespan, that equates to about 13 years of their life in front of the television. 13 years of their life. And by the way, those 13 years, that's 24, seven in front of the TV. So the vast majority of my tour stops around the country. If you've seen, if you've ever gone to my YouTube channel and you've seen a video of kind of what my life is like, I spend a lot of time speaking to, you know, thousands or tens of thousands of people. That's matter of fact, that's what I'm doing here on the floor in this hotel is this weekend I've got about a thousand people out to one of my seminars where I teach people to have a career like mine. It's a seminar called Experts Academy. And I'm out here with these thousand folks who want to go out there and, you know, make a difference and make a career out of sharing their own knowledge or wisdom with the world. And they just have to figure out how to do it. You know, what are the tools? What's the online marketing strategies? How do they build a brand? How do they do social media, how do they monetize their advice or their coaching or their services? And I'm with them. And I'll tell you, this group, like the difference makers of the world, they're rarely watching four hours of television a day. They would Never give up 13 years of their life just to consume. And I think that's really important to know because I'm blessed to work with so many high performers around the world. They're not wasting four hours of their day. And by the way, I don't have anything that much television, you might be like, Brennan, you're really railing television. No, I'm railing on too much television. Look, I'm also not. Look, I think everything is okay at some level of most of our lives. How we live in moderation. It's that we overdo it. We eat too much, we're too judgmental, we're too oblivious. We are too obsessed with only money. We are too obsessed with ourselves. We are too, too, too, too, too, too, too. And it's lack of moderation or balance that usually hurts us. And I think time is that way. And maybe television isn't your drug, but maybe you, you know, spend too much time, you know, playing with games on your phone. Maybe spend and games are fine too, but not too much. Maybe you spend too much time watching, you know, random YouTube videos. I hope maybe you watch mine, but not too much. You know, I'll even limit your, your time with me. We all have to have purposeful uses of time. If, I hope, if you're spending time with me, you're, you're, you're literally here, you're present, you're paying attention, you're thinking about your own life, you got your journal. If you go through my courses, I hope you do them diligently and do them well because that's time. And time is a valuable resource. Well, most people are using that resource horribly because they're not planning for it. So they're bumbling into the morning. You know, most people, they wake up, they grab their phone, they kind of look at what's going on in social media world, look what's going on in the news, check their texts, check voice messages, just check into the world. Thus checking out of themselves and their intention. So what I'd like you to do instead is be strategic. And the way to be strategic is to have a longer term view. And one simple way to do that is the night before is to have an evening planning session where you think about what your allocations of time will be the next day and what you need to accomplish, hope to achieve, must make happen. And that simple evening planning session will make you more purposeful. Guess what happens when you become more purposeful with your days. You guessed it. Your energy goes up, you feel more positive, because as you get more progress, guess what happens. Yep, your brain goes to work, drops in a bunch of those great hormones and molecules called dopamine. Suddenly you start to feel amazing. And you start to feel a sense of momentum, a sense of wind at your back, a sense of movement in your life. And with that look, all the negativity and the naysayers, and they might be along the sidelines of life, but yet you're moving past them, baby, you're on your way. And so the only way to do that is to be disciplined with your time. And the way to be disciplined with your time is to evaluate it. So the night before, here's what I do the night before each of my nights, or night before each of my days, I sit down and I just do A quick review of my calendar for the upcoming day. So I know it's upcoming, but I also do a bigger strategic view. And that is I think about the major projects in my life and I ask what are the major steps that have to happen for those major projects in the next couple weeks? And I make sure that those steps are somewhere on my calendar scheduled. Then I ask, okay, who am I waiting on a decision of and who do I need to reach out to? I think about the people in my life, right? The people who I need to reach out to are the people I'm waiting on a decision from or waiting on resources from. And then I put on my to do list for that next day to reach out to those people. Then I think about the priorities of the next day by looking at that calendar, but also think about the to do lists and so that everything hits the calendar. And so that I'm aware of what's going to happen tomorrow. And you know what, I sleep better that night because I'm not sitting there going, oh my God, what I have to do tomorrow or whatever. I'm just like, I'm clear about the next day. I have full intention about what's gonna happen the next day. Even if there's just a big block of time that's free time, that doesn't stress me out or cause me anxiety, I go, hey, that's a big block of free time. I'm looking forward to that, baby. And so that's kind of how I do my evening. And by doing that simple check in, I sleep well, I get up, and I'm immediately purposeful for the day. And guess what? The more purposeful I am, the more positive I am. The more purposeful I am, the more confident I am. And remember, I promised you, this is a training about dealing with negativity. And one way to deal with negativity is to get more positivity and progress in your life. I said it's about confidence. One way to get confidence in your life is, is to know what your days are about. See, most people don't lack confidence. They think confidence is just a self esteem issue. And that's true. We'll talk about that. But confidence is also directly tied to your sense of purpose or progress or momentum in life. So number one, own your energy. Number two, notice that overlap, self awareness and social influence. Number three, have a weekly review. Number four, practice evening planning. Number five, Ooh, I love this one. You got to have a morning routine. Because even though I plan the night, when I wake up, I Got to get my brain and my body ready to serve, ready to enjoy the day, ready to feel good, ready to be a good husband, ready to be a good contributor, ready to be a good leader, ready to honor this life that I've been given. And so what I do in the morning, many of you guys know my morning routine. I get up and I immediately do 20 minutes of movement. Sometimes that means, you know, I go down to my mat, my yoga mat. I do some vinyasa flow, I do some calisthenic stretching, I do some push ups. I just do my morning routine, 20 minutes. Then I go up and I read something positive for 20 minutes. Then I think about how to do my way, my day well for 20 minutes. Now, remember, I've already planned out the day, but now in the morning, I just go through each of those major meetings in my mind. I think about, okay, who do I need to give attention to in this meeting and how can I, you know, deliver great value in this webcast or this, you know, video or this thing that I'm going to do? I just basically think through that. I basically visualize my day for about 20 minutes and how I can deliver excellence, how I can enjoy the process. I ask myself some questions about what I might be excited about or what might trip me up and how my highest self can meet it. I ask myself about who I might be able to surprise or bring joy to in the day. And it's that level of intention or thinking through the day that shapes a good day for me. But, you know, there's a lot of different ways to do a morning routine. I talk a lot about them in Reignite youe Life because I really believe if you start to own your mornings, then, my friend, you will own the day. And the more mornings and days that you own, the greater confidence that you get in life and you start moving forward. I know it's so simple, it's so common sense, but for most people, it is not common practice. They wake up and they check their phone. Matter of fact, now it's nearing 70% of smartphone owners wake up, check their phone, do their email. And what kind of put one of my trainings on the map called High Performance Academy was that, you know, I think this is almost six years ago now. I can't remember. Yeah, about six years ago I would say that we did that study where we found that if we could just get people not to do email in the first 60 minutes of their day, that they would be 30% more productive each week. It was a Game changer for the executives I was coaching at the time. I mean, absolute stunning game changer. We did the whole calendar analysis with them. We ran all the numbers. It was super clear that they were way more productive if they didn't do email right away. Because email is just a convenient organizing system of other people's agendas. And so once you realize that you don't get trapped into other people's agendas, right, you're instead having your morning routine and your evening planning session, entering the day much more confidently. So whatever your morning routine is, think about those three elements. A little bit of movement, reading something powerful or positive, and also thinking about visualizing the day and how well you can do at it, how you can bring your best self, how you can bring your A game to each day. Okay, now, I know that we said there's six, but for me, those last couple, you know, as I'm talking about them, I realize they kind of bucket together a little bit. A weekly review, an evening planning session, a morning routine. So let me do even a little bit more for you guys here, especially for my friends who are on the live cast. And you didn't get the full two hours of training with me. I am dedicated delivering that to you all right now. So I'm going to add a few things here that I hope that will support this complementing those things. But also focus a little more time on confidence, too, because I think the more confident you are, the more you're able to brush aside. Negativity doesn't impact you as much because you're confident. Okay, so let's talk about how to start the morning even more powerful in a place of confidence. One simple thing I've added to my morning routines. Maybe, you know, I was actually pretty good about this in college. And then I got off my practice for a while. I brought it back about two or three years ago. I do my morning power recitation. Do you guys know what that is? You might write it down. A morning power recitation. What this means is I grab a book that I love. Or, you know, it could be something from, for me, a spiritual text. It could be a poem that I love. It can be several pages of one of my favorite books. And, you know, I've got a bunch of them kind of in my office, and I just grab them randomly and I open up to a page or a book that I've marked as a. You know, what I call an npr, which is morning power recitation. And I read it out loud, powerfully. I recite it out loud, as if I was on those stairs at the Washington capitol in the 1960s and I was doing my Martin Luther King, I have a Dream speech. I mean, I go to the roof. I mean, I really. I project. I speak the words as powerfully as I could. I literally step into each word and I magnify it out through my heart and my soul and my intention into the world. I read that thing as if it was my last pronouncement to the world. You know, it's my Sermon on the Mount. It's my ability to share at the top of my lungs something powerful and positive. So I read something like that. Now, I know it sounds crazy, but you know what? It's a lot more powerful, I found, than just a morning affirmation where you just say, you know, I'm going to have a wonderful, beautiful, blessed day today. And you just do that from a, you know, calm, peaceful, awesome place. I'm gonna have a wonderful, perfect, amazing day. Because an affirmation tends to be a sentence or two. It's not enough. You need more duration and the power to kick your soul alive, kick your mind alive. A lot of people tell me all the time from the Reignite youe Life class that they quit coffee because of this. Because, you know. And by the way, you don't have to quit coffee, okay? It just really fires you up. Your body was gifted to you, and you didn't have to do anything for you. And what does your body do? It moves. So I stand there and I gesture, and I use my volume and my voice and my melody, my pitch, my tone. I use everything I can to bring that passage to life. And I'll read it sometimes, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 times, projecting it as powerfully and as loud as I can now. Yes. This is not always convenient. If I'm on a hotel, in a hotel room, I'm sorry. If I wake up early and I wake up the person next to me, I still do it because I'm not doing it for other people. I mean, people say, well, Brendan, all the time. You know, my poor wife and I wake up before her. Good luck. It's like, I'm gonna do this recitation because it activates the gifts that you've been given in life. It activates your breath because you have to pronounce louder. You have to speak with volume. It activates your body because you gesture with the passage. It activates your heart and your soul because you're leading, you're speaking loud. You're sharing something from the depths of your soul. You're speaking out of a rooftops, baby. Well, that puts me in immediate state of confidence and power. It's activating everything. It's putting good thoughts into my mind. It's putting good energy out into the world. It's activating my full body, voice, power, lungs, you name it. That's my npr, my morning power recitation. I'm blessed to have, as many of you guys know, a very successful book called the Motivation Manifesto. Nine declarations to regain your personal power. And let me tell you about this. If you have not read the book, please read the book. The Motivation Manifesto. It can really truly shift you. And a lot of my students have told me that they use that book because it kind of it reads. And it was written from sort of a literary device called revolutionist rhetoric. I went back and I studied the great revolutionists of all time and I tried to pick up the pentameter and the way in which they spoke. So when you read it, it kind of reads like the Declaration of Independence or something from the founding fathers or from revolutionists around the world. Because in times of revolution the language tends to become very similar. A lot like the book Motivation Manifesto. As you know, that's not how I usually talk. If you've read that book, but that has so many great passages that you could read. You can read other. Grab other your favorite books if you have a great spiritual text. But find something, even if it's poetry. But look, don't whisper it. Read it with full volume power. Trust me, it will give you a different state of confidence. Let me talk about a few more things in confidence. I would call this, maybe let's just call this one that Morning power recitation can be with morning routine. So let's call this the sixth habit. And it is what I call the smile game. The Smile Game. I know it sounds very elementary, but it's so powerful. If I interact with a person, I make it a game to ensure they smile. Every person I interact with, all of them. I mean, it doesn't matter if it's the bellman at a hotel. It doesn't matter if it is the waiter at a restaurant. It doesn't matter if it's a family member or a friend, a team member, complete random stranger, somebody in my audience I make eye contact with, with. I work to get a smile. It is a practice of mine. And here's what happens once you practice this enough. First, the great thing is it's not about you anymore. You're focused on the other person and giving them good energy. And in doing that, it makes you more confident socially, because guess what, you're getting an effect. You're creating an outcome socially. And as you learn to create more outcomes socially, you become more confident socially. So if this is just you're like, well, Brendan, I'm just not like you. I'm not an extrovert. Be careful. In every personality test I've ever taken, I ride that line of extrovert and introvert. And you think that's bs? Please don't forget, I've written six books, okay? I record these podcasts by myself, okay? Most of my life is spent studying, doing research, looking at the science, asking the big questions, doing the journaling, recording videos by myself, recording podcasts by myself. I'm by myself a lot. So I need that. I have a high level of introversion in terms of a personality trait, if you will. And I can tell you that it wasn't always easy for me to feel confident socially because I didn't know what to do. I was awkward. But then once I started this game, it kind of took over my life, and it made me better with other people. And one simple way to make other people smile is for you to monitor the expressions on your face. See, we all have these things in our brains called mirror neurons. They make us want to mimic other people. You've probably heard that phrase social contagion. Well, the mechanism in which social contagion happens, the way that we feel the emotion of other people happens through these mirror neurons. Basically, a neural network that activates, that makes us want to mimic other people or empathize with other people or feel what other people feel or complete their sentences or follow their gestures. Those are called the mirror neurons. And we activate those with other people. And, yes, our faces do, too. And so first, I learned to start smiling at other people. You know, giving them good energy. You know, thinking about where I am coming from consciously in any given moment so that I can share good energy and put good energy out into the world. That became a very important thing for me to do. And look, I've been doing this for 22 years now. This little smile game. I'm pretty good at it. And guess what? Helping people smile each day, I don't know if that's part of my purpose, but I will tell you it's part of my passion. And I will tell you it's part of my positivity. You know what? If you're not getting enough positivity in the world from others, stop thinking. That's their job. Maybe take it upon yourself to put positivity out there regardless of the energy you're getting, and you'll start to feel differently about life. So make it a game, make people smile. Just make a concerted effort. And I'm blessed to acknowledge here my mom and my dad. If you ever met my mom, you know, she is the smilingest, happiest person despite the unbelievable challenges she's had in her life. And I don't just mean from, you know, raising us four kids when we had no money at all growing up, but her coming from a place where it was even, you know, a much more dire, you know, impoverished place. She was born in Vietnam. She lost her father in the French Vietnamese conflict. The country of France had this very progressive child of war program, brought her and my grandmother and her brother to France, put them in boarding schools. She was, you know, negatively treated, I mean, constantly by the boarding school people, you know, verbally, physically, I'm sure abused and just completely treated terribly. Torn apart from her brother and mother. She came to the U.S. you know, fell in love with somebody who abused her. And when she had my brother David, she decided enough is enough. She was not going to let this man in her life also harm her child. So she left him, got a divorce. Ultimately my dad and you know, mom and dad were in love and they really struggled to make it. You know, my dad retired military, served 20 years plus in the United States Marine Corps. That's why I'm such a huge fan of our military and because I recognize the difficulty of military families lives. And so if you are an active military member and you ever want to attend any of my seminars, please just write us@supportbrendon.com and we give as many as we can scholarships, but we also give discounts. So just write supportendon.com if you're active military. Thank you. We'll give you a list of our upcoming schedules and seminars and stuff. But I watched my mom and dad after his retirement. You know, dad was a tiny kid, was working three jobs and going to school to provide for his family. And man, they were positive people, you know, my dad, even though when he was probably too hard on us when we were kids because he'd just come out of the military, but later in his life he kind of became like this, you know, peaceful warrior. And he worked at the dmv, the Department of Motor Vehicles. I talked about it on my podcast a lot. And in my new book, High Performance Habits, I talk about mom and dad's story too. And dad had to deal with. A lot of people talk about negativity. Imagine working at the DMV where the state doesn't give you enough money, hampers you with all these red tape. You got people failing their driver's tests left and right, so you have to revoke their driver's licenses. You got people driving up on curbs and then screaming at you because they fail. They can't even drive a car, but they want their license from you. Then they forget their paperwork. Then they have to wait in a long line because they're not staffed well or funded well, and you're running the place. My dad, you know, had people literally spit and scream and be terrible to him, but he maintained positive energy. And I don't know, he always. I think I learned the Smile Game from him. He was always joking and kidding around with the waiters and the waitresses and the people who served him, his staff. He'd find a way to get people to smile. Even at the dmv. He just tried. And maybe that's where I picked up it from. I have no idea. Maybe unconsciously, later, when my life wasn't going the way I thought it was, I wanted it to, I started doing, you know, positive things like that. I don't know, but try it. Smile Game. Every person you interact with, try to get a smile. Now, is it true you won't get smiles from a lot of people? Yeah, so what? Remember, you don't have to be everyone's trainer, but maybe you can be everyone's positive influence. You know, maybe just you smiling around them, you being your best self, that can be enough. So that's another practice, the Smile Game. Let's call that the fifth habit of everything we've covered so far. Then here's another habit that will make you more confident, because remember, you get more people smiling around you, you can create that social effect. Confidence comes in number six for confidence. On this theme of confidence, I call it the three Ask game or the three question game of anyone I really meet or spend time with. I tend to ask them three questions even it's very fast. You know, on my way over last night to the hotel, I was in a Lyft car here. Lyft means like Lyft, as in the competitor to Uber and Lyft. Basically, you know, the driver picked me up and it was a short ride over. And on the ride over, I asked him, you know, three questions. You know, simple ones. You know, hey, why'd you get into driving like this, man? We talked about that for quite A quite a, you know, few minutes. And then I asked, hey, what do you love most about the job? And he told me about that. And then I said, hey, what are some of the things you've observed about human behavior doing this job? And he told me some things. And when we pulled up the door and I got started stepping out the door, he says, hey, I just want to thank you. This was a really great conversation, man. Those were great questions. I don't get asked those a lot. I said, well, thank you very much. And it was a positive situation. And I get confidence in being around other people because I don't make it about me. I make it about them. I just ask them questions. I let my curiosity free and my focus so much on other people and learning interesting, quirky things about them that I'm confident with them. You know, it's so easy to be more confident when you've done the things I've talked about. You know, you're living a life as your highest self. You're trying to know what your next right actions of integrity are. You've planned for your day. You're winning the morning. You know, you know where you're going. You've started the day with some power. You're making other people smile. But I'll tell you, if you get really curious about other people, that curiosity leads to confidence. Curiosity is ultimately the thing that connects us with other people. Curiosity is the thing that makes it socially easy to get along with people by asking them questions. And coming from a positive mindset, it's just a good thing. So it's the three question game. Add that to it. Okay, let me do maybe a recap here. And also I got one more habit I want to sort of give to you all to reignite your life. So first let me kind of recap what's going on here. Again, if you're listening to this, I just want to give a shout out to everybody for who were on the live cast with me for the Oprah Winfrey Network. I know it was not the quality standards you used to from live cast from me, but or probably own too. But we did our best with our limited time and resources available in the last minutes of my schedule change. So I take full ownership of that. My friends, I hope that this is serving you so far. I also want to remind you that we have that special going on@brendon.com own and I'm pulling up my computer right now to go back through some of those questions that were asked on that live webcast. Related to these topics here. So while I'm not live with you right now, it can kind of feel like it because I can at least answer some questions that people ask. So give me a second here. I'll pull that up. Make sure too. While I'm doing this, please go to brendon.com own so that you can hear and see about the offer we have right now. Now, it's not listed on that page because it's limited time only, but please listen again. I'm going to give you if you sign up for that today and when you sign up, I'll get your email address and your information so that I can get your shipping information and send you these books. Because remember, I'm going to send you a copy of High Performance Habits. I'll also give you that access to my deluxe audio version of that book where I read the entire book to you and give you some additional video training with that. And I'll give you a $97 course on energy. And I will ship you a copy of Oprah's new book, which I'll just buy for you as my thanks for you signing up for Reignite youe life. That's brendon.com own o w n For those who are not in front of a computer because you might be on your phone, some simple things there in the course. This course is really the most, I would say, emotional and personal I've ever done. And so if you want to feel a new level of emotional connection or fulfillment or energy and enthusiasm in your life, that's the course for you. It deals with emotions more than any other course I've ever done before. And like I said, it's my most personal course ever. So I'll teach you in there how to do things like master your emotions. I'll teach you how to recognize and release three types of fear that tend to hold people back from feeling energized and excited about life or able to move forward confidently. I'll help you. Especially in the course I've never taken on this before. I help you transform three different things, bad mental thoughts, bad habits, and bad relationships. And I've never really trained that before in a course like this. I think you'll really love it. So for those who are saying, how is this different than the other course this one really takes on how to have breakthroughs in your mental, emotional and sort of relational worlds? Because it's more of the course that I take on how people are sabotaging themselves. I'll show you how you build a greater degree of confidence. I'll show you how. Do you especially have difficult conversations with other people? And that is a section of the course I've never taught in any other of my courses. That difficult conversation with a spouse, that difficult conversation with a coworker. Basically, how do you build a fresher outlook on your entire life and get permission to dream again? This is all about you having the new habits and routines to improve your focus and productivity. And my first class was really about that. My first Oprah Winfrey Network class was about that. It's called your next bold move. This one kind of builds upon that, but helps you master your emotions by overcoming the roadblocks and negative thinking. It helps you become stronger internally so that you can Strength, confidence, clarity. That's kind of the subtitle of this Strength, confidence and clarity. To get you there, we got to get you over the hump emotionally. And that's what this course is about. So go to brendon.com own for all those bonuses. And to sign up, it's limited time only. It will end at the end of this week or the end of this month. So make sure that you sign up. If you're listening to this now, I do have some more I want to train you on, of course, but I wanted to make sure I gave that shout out for you as well. I don't know where you're listening to this. You might be listening on a webpage or you might have downloaded it. I will make sure that this audio that I'm doing is also up on my podcast called the Brendon Show. So if you're not a subscriber, make sure you go to the Brendon show and you can download this on your phone into your favorite podcast application so you can listen to this over and over and over again if you found this to be useful. Now, I've still got some more to go, so I just want to make sure I give that shout out at noticing the time that we are on here. Okay, let me go back over here and open up these questions that we had from our live webcast and also make sure I get those announcements out for many of you who had questions and also wanted some prizes. So our first question was from Gabriela Fuini and I actually answered this on the live cast, but I'll do it again here because I promised to replay. So I'm going to kind of replay it via audio only, but I hope this serves you. Gabriella asks. She said, hi, I'm a mom of three kids and my middle child, age 10, has such a tendency to be negative, usually about his older sister or other people. How can I help him learn to be positive so that he can grow up a happy, positive person? So first off, Gabriela, I love that question and that intention. So thank you for asking that. And shout out to a mom of three kids, all the moms listening right here, I love you. And I say this, do a good job. You know, I feel like all of my success in my life came from not all of it, but so much of it came from the successful positive influence that I had from my mom. So shout out to mama. Gabriela, look, as you're dealing with your son, age 10, his tendency to be negative, first and foremost, I want everybody to listen. This is really important. If you do have someone who has a tendency to be negative, always do first a self awareness check, meaning what is the energy in which you are receiving information from your son? Always start with yourself. So that self awareness piece and what I mean by that maybe has a different style than you. So make sure you're paying attention to that. Because maybe he doesn't feel he's being negative. Maybe he's just pointing out what he is seeing, the inputs he's seeing, and he's yet unsure of how to do that in a way that sounds positive to you or others. So sometimes it's just kids, they don't have the tools yet. And if that makes sense. So first observe how you are receiving that information. But if it is truly negative, which I'm assuming, I mean, Gabrielle, I'm not telling you or anyone how to be a mother, trust me. But let me share this. Remember, people speak about the inputs they're seeing from the perspectives they're seeing it. So I would suggest that as he points out something negative, you also ask him to identify something he does see that is positive. So even as he's complaining about his older sister or other people, you ask him. It doesn't even have to be about them, but you just transform that negative energy into a positive somewhere. Whether it's related to something he wants, whether it's related to the house, whether it's related to his toys, whether it's related to his friends, whether it's related to his teacher or something that, you know he's passionate about, curious about, interested in. So soon as the negativity is there, your job is to redirect his focus into an input or a situation or a thing in which he can speak positively. So it's first, it's about Transforming negative talk to positive talk about anything. Okay, so then second is now to help him revisit that same negativity and notice something positive about his sister or about that situation or that person. That's really important. Third is challenge him, say, hey, let's make it a game to also notice good things. So have that evening routine or those moments right before you drop them off or you pick them up where you're asking about the good things that are happening. And yes, he might be resistant to it at first, but look, he's 10. You got time. Your consistency in asking people to notice positive things ultimately wins the day. You got time. So be patient, but also be persistent in asking him to notice positive things. And of course, role model the way. And ask his older sister to role model the way. Make her aware of your intention here without having to, you know, I guess call out his wrongs. Just say, hey, this is what I really want for, you know, our, you know, your brother. Let's have a conversation about how we can make this a game to make him better in this area so that he's happy too. I hope that serves you. And Gabriella, great question. And on the live webcast, I actually gave Gabriella access to one of my courses that will help her with that as well. So thank you again for being here. Let's see, let's see. Brandy asked Brendan, how do you manage when your mate can. She must be from Australia. How do you manage when your mate can be negative, cynical, and always going towards the worst case scenario? 1 Remember, Brandi, that just might be their style and you might not be able to change them. So you have to change how you respond to it and just recognize that might be their pattern and that you don't have to be the trainer there. Matter of fact, I always encourage people like, hey, if you're trying to get someone to be more positive and you've tried before, instead start dropping them hints or empowering them, you know, obviously without being self serving. I would say get them access to some of my training or another trainer in our industry, you know, one of the other Super Soul 100 teachers, meaning buy that person a course, put a book on their table, give them access to something, you know, you know, text them a positive video. I'm always saying, if you can't, you know, transform someone, empower them, give them the tools, put good things in front of them. In my industry, of course, we always recommend take people to events, take people to seminars, take people to networking events where they're surrounded by positive people, and ultimately that will start making a dent. And it's okay if you don't get. Look, one of the number one challenges we have in dealing with other people is we want them to transform completely and immediately and instantly right in front of us for all of time, forever. But isn't it true you struggled to change? Isn't it true that, you know, change is. Is. Is hard, so we got to be conscious and, you know, caring and patient with other people as they're trying to change? And I'm sure you do that, Brandy, but it's a really great question, and I think that that's really important for you to be patient. I think in all things, if you're trying to turn a negative person to a positive person, keep the long view. You know what? Keep helping them steer their focus towards positive things, keep challenging them, keep being the role model. And over a period of time, we'll start to sway them slowly and subtly. And if you can't do it, give them access, tools, training, or empowerment from someone else who does it. I mean, I can't tell you how many people have said, I'm so glad I brought my spouse to your seminar, Brendan, because I've been saying something to them for 10 years, and honestly, you're not saying anything different, but you're different, and your energy is different, and they respect your credibility or your impact, so they listen to you, and that's fine. Hey, look, I have family members I can't get to change, but that's not my job, and the world will change them. Maybe my positive influence over a period of time will change them. That. That's okay. I let them do their own thing. I made that mistake early on of trying to, you know, force my world view on the world, and that never works, as many of you guys know. Tanya. Tanya from Tampa, she says, what steps do you take to piece together a broken life, to move forward, to create a new space and start when dealing with hurt and loss? Thank you in advance. Thank you, Tanya. What do I do? You know, first and foremost, I always, you know, and I've been broken a lot of times in my life. Many of you know, I was suicidal in college after the breakup of the first woman I ever loved. And it was a very hard time in my life, but I ultimately came through that with many of these practices that we're talking about. So a Tanya from Tampa, I would say listen to this podcast, like, or this audio here, wherever you're listening to it, like, five times, and listen to it again over and over and put these things into practice. I think that they will help you. They'll reignite your life. They'll reorient you. Second, I would say recognize that, you know, your life isn't broken. You're not broken. And be careful of using that language on yourself because you're just fine. You're okay if you're hearing this. And I know you were on the live cast with us, so when you were there, you're alive. You've been gifted with the grace of this breath. That you are here is an indication that there's more for you and honor that. So the place, oddly, to start when we feel broken, when we feel like nothing is right, is with noticing the ultimate right. And that is to have reverence for our life, to find something, to be grateful for, something every single day that we can connect with, notice, and appreciate someone every single day, we can surprise or notice or hug or say something kind to. In other words, if we feel broken, it's our job to bring reverence and humanity back to the forefront for ourselves. Not wait for somebody to come in and be that, you know, knight in shining armor, but rather us to take control of our focus and our thoughts and our behavior, to do that. C. I would say, you know, also, if you really feel broken, if anyone listening has, you know, negativity and difficult and darkness that's been in your life for years and you still haven't been able to break through, or you still have that hang up from when you were in high school or college or that first marriage or that thing that happened years ago, if, excuse me, if I move my laptop, guys, if I make noise here, but if you have that thing that was years ago that you are still struggling with, do yourself one of the greatest favors in the world and seek professional assistance. And I really mean that. I think there's a huge stigma to seeking therapy. And, you know, I think that's really unfortunate, especially these days. You know, you listen to a lot of people who, I would say are not in the Super Soul 100. You know, you had a lot of podcasters and life hackers who, you know, or social media supposed leaders who, you know, they make everything sound so, you know, glib or easy and, you know, just do this hack or just work harder. And they don't understand that sometimes there are real emotional dilemmas and traumas that people are dealing with that they cannot just work their way through harder, that they need professional assistance. And they should, in my mind, if I can speak as a leader of the industry, Right now in some way is that more people in our industry need to acknowledge the benefits of therapy and help dispel the stigma around getting support and stop acting like all of us can just be self reliant and handle everything on our own and everything will be perfect. Some people truly need help. And I say this, don't look down upon yourself if that's where you're at. If you really feel broken or if you feel something that has really taken you off your stride for years and years and you haven't been able to get back on, go see a therapist, ask for some help. I mean, get a counselor, seek somebody out in your community to mentor. There's something that you have to do, but there's nothing that's going to be as powerful as professional therapy because that's their job is to help support you in that way. And I think when you specifically feel broken, then that usually comes from such a depth or such a trauma that you do need someone to talk that through with. So I highly encourage you to do that as well, Tanya. And I hope that serves okay. And let's see, Tanya, we also gave access to one of our courses on the live webcast. So congratulations there. I'm basically going to. I'll recap some of those we gave prizes to right here. But I also will give read a few more questions that came in after our livecast ended and give some additional prizes right here. First time announcements here as we get through a few of these other questions. So actually, let me do that right now. I'll just scroll down. The chat roll was insane. I mean, I don't know how many thousands of you guys were in there. I didn't know. I'm amazed it didn't actually blow up on us given how, how fast we put that piece together there. So I'm happy that you guys were here. Let's see. Lucian Millute asks I barely get or says I barely get out of bed in the morning. My job bores me. I have no desire to do anything and nothing cheers me up. I become a couch potato and I feel bad because I no longer have any direction in my life. How can I pull myself together and start building a good and exciting life for me and my relationship? Whoa. First, Lucien, I honor you for saying that. I mean, with, you know, thousands of people, especially watching here. I honor that. I appreciate that. Posting that in here is brave and it is something I hope you read for the next couple weeks. And what I mean by that is sometimes when we state a truth about Ourself like that. That's so profound. That's so not what we want. That has power in it. Now, before you all think I'm crazy on this advice, let me qualify it. Lucian. What I mean by that is I know that you type that in because you sense something inside is bigger and better and deserves more. This is not your life. You are not somebody who just barely gets out of bed in the morning, even though that's been what you have been doing. Your job is boring you, but it might not be your job. It might be who you are showing up as and how you are seeking to contribute. You know, you say you have no desire to do anything, and nothing cheers you up. Well, I guarantee something cheers you up. Somebody can cheer you up and something can cheer you up. But you need to really shake things up. And I know that you say, well, I've become a couch potato, and I feel bad because I don't have direction in my life. Well, the good news is direction is one of the easiest things to get. We just have to start asking ourselves a different set of questions to find a different set set of directions. How can I pull myself together and start building a good and exciting life for me and my relationship? Well, that begins with ambition. So we've got to work through the major areas of life and just say, what do you really want here? And if you don't know, then we have to ask a separate question, which is, why don't you want something? Because here's what happens, Lucien. A lot of the reason that people end up bored is because they stop trying to contribute something that's at a higher level. A lot of the reason that people find themselves, you know, couch potatoes is because they got disappointed somewhere in the past and they had these series of disappointments, and they attached meaning to those disappointments about themselves. And so what often happens, Lucien, is you got down on yourself over and over and over and over again until you minimized yourself so much that you thought you didn't deserve more. And it wasn't about you. It was about the meaning that you were attaching to those disappointments in the past. So what you might have to do, Lucien, is do exactly what I shared earlier with Tanya. I mean, if this has been going on for years, I highly suggest. I mean, I truly highly suggest that you seek a professional therapist. I'll do my part. And here's what I want to do for you. I'll give you free access to this course, Reignite youe Life with the Oprah Winfrey Network. Just to thank you for being here. So by the way, if you already bought it, I'll make sure I reimburse it for you. But we'll get you free access to Reignite youe Life because I think that's what you need. You just need instruction. And anyone who's listening, if you relate with him, please make sure you go to Brendan.com own because that's what frankly, Lucian, and this is not being self serving, this is just being honest. This is why we created the course. Because I think actually, and we know actually that three quarters of workers here in North America feel disengaged with work and many of them would say they feel bored at work. We know that so many people are not as happy as they want and they don't know how to do happiness. So as you said, they say things like when someone says to me, Brennan, nothing cheers me up. I say, well, why did you think that anything was responsible for your cheer? Something is not responsible to cheer you up. That we have to come from a place of cheer, that it is our job not to experience joy because something gives us joy, but it's our job to learn to bring the joy. Now I know that takes training. You know, and honestly, almost every question that I saw in the chat role, these are questions that I know that I can't answer. You know, a quick two, three second or quick two, three minute little conversation here, that the reason I became an educator, because I realized that, you know, it's fun to put videos on YouTube or quick things on Instagram and things. But I wanted to help people transform. And I'll be honest, transformation takes duration. That sometimes you need a new set of tools psychologically to reignite your life. You need a different set of questions, a different focus, maybe a different overall mindset. You know, the great late Stephen Covey taught us all that sometimes it's a shift in paradigm that's needed completely to change somebody's daily behavior. And I hope that we accomplish that with Reignite youe Life. Lucian, I'll give you free access to that. But here's some simple things we do know that there is no question that there is a very strong correlation between physical exercise and happiness and engagement at work and positive relationships and lifespan, meaning across almost every major life outcome that there is all of them are correlated and there are experiences in all of them can be improved by improving our health. So you mentioned your couch potatoes. I think this is really important to know. Did you know that the top 15% of the top 15% of happy people in the world are, listen to this, four times more likely to work out three to five times per week. And when we did our high performance study, the world's largest study of high performers worldwide, measured again across both observable outcomes like whether that is pay or rise in a company or I'm sorry, position in a company or sort of a success rate at any given task among their peers. And a measure of well being. Well, the top 15% of that top 15% was 40% more likely to work out five times per week. Solution? The thing that will re energize most people's lives is re energizing the vitality they experience physically. And this means, yep, I know you don't want it, but if you're a couch potato, you need to get off the couch. The answer to everybody who is feeling bored or stressed or not passionate is to first start with your physical health. Because the physical health opens up pathways into the mind. It opens up up more places for the soul to sort of express itself with strength. We have to get more physically fit and healthy. And so I recommend, you know, any, you know, any basic program that's going to get you on a more consistent health routine is going to serve you. Whether that is, you know, simple things. I recommend two by twos. A two by two, if you didn't know it is you do two workouts per week of, of basically cardio activity and then you two workouts per week that are a little bit shorter, kind of like a hiit training, meaning you do two exercises per week that might be class based, let's call them 60 minute activities. That could be 60 minutes of run, bike, swim, that can be 60 minutes of just walking outside. That can be 60 minutes of, you know, hiit training a class, something where you just really go, you give, let's say you know, 60 to 70% of your effort for an hour and breaks within. Then the other part of the two by two is twice per week you do a 20 minute hit training, high intensity training, that is where for 20 minutes you give your, no, you give like 75 to 80% of your full effort at something and you just go for 20 minutes. If you do that, two 20 minute workouts per week and two longer hour long workouts per week, you'll feel so different, so stronger. And we know as you start climbing in health, you tend to set more goals because you get progress and momentum. You start meeting some health or fitness goals, you start setting other goals in your life too. There is a strong direct correlation There solution sometimes don't wait for your life to change, to get off the couch. Get off your couch and life will change. I hope that serves you. And again, I'm happy to give you that free access to reignite your life just because you're here and you participated. And I think that is super awesome. Okay, let's see. I'm going back the questions here. So as I juggle around here, guys, I want to make sure that I do a good job here at this. Let's see. Oh, Paula Strupik Garner is asking how do you deal with somebody who dwells too much. So you know, we're encountering, we're encountering a rather challenging situation and I'm working hard at focusing on what we need to do to stay our course of action. My husband worries that it is all falling apart. I'm trying to let him be as he is, but it's dragging everyone in our family and our business down. Thanks, Brendan. Well, also Paula, I honor you. That's a tough one and I respect that you asked that again in a public forum like this chat role here. Paula, first, I'm sorry that that is going on. Second, I honor you for doing your best to keep him in the situation. Third, I think it's very important that you let him know his impact. That you let him know that that behavior is not serving you, the family or the business. And that is a scary next right action of integrity, isn't it to call it out. But that is one of the greatest things. You know, this summer was really hard for me because of the death of my grandmother, because of changes on my team, because of extensive travel, because of unbelievable workload leading up to the launch of high performance habits. This course, two other courses, a journal. We have so many new products and programs coming out over the next couple months. It's just absolutely, I've never been more invigorating about how many things we are doing for our audience in so many different modalities. But it's also been times of just sheer exhaustion and my wife has challenged me to deal with it better. First, she's been a positive light in all of that and she always been. Many of you guys know my career really would not have been possible if not has been the support of my wife at home. And I don't mean that she's like just stay at home in that regard. What I mean is that when I go home and she is there because she has her own full time passions and work, but when we're home together, she's created such a positive environment, such a warm and welcoming home that that calms me down. And also that when I do get negative and I do just like everybody here, I challenge, I have confidence. I've. I've challenged with my own confidence. Sometimes I feel negative sometimes. I was really bummed when the live cast wasn't able to go its full duration last night. That really bummed me out. And she was the first one to cheer me on and also say, hey, you know what? Stay focused. Ask what you have to do now and how do you do it from a place that is positive, that is joyful, that remi, remember who you are. You know, remember who you are. We are all positive, joyful, and, you know, we are all blessed to be here. Come from that place of blessing. Brennan, get conscious. Be aware of how you want to serve here. And she might not use that exact language, but that's what I feel. And it sort of puts me back to the baseline. And I think that's important in our relationships, to be willing to acknowledge when someone is there and be patient, but also, you know, be that encourager. Be that person who reminds them of their strength, who reminds them that they will figure out who reminds them that, hey, we're in this together. Hey, honey, remember, it's you and me. Hey, honey, don't worry, I'm here. Hey, honey, don't worry. I'm here no matter what. Hey, honey, you've come through things that are harder. Hey, honey, don't forget the team is counting on you to have good energy here. Hey, honey, we're going through this, and we get to choose how we're going through this. We didn't choose that we're going through it, but we could choose how we're going through it. Remember, the last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one's own attitude. And sometimes that means, Paula, you can't do that yourself, too, even as much as you try. So don't be shy about putting some good, positive things in front of your husband. You know, maybe text him some funny videos to change his feelings. Maybe text him some, you know, an empowering session that you saw from, from Super Soul Sunday with Oprah or one of my videos on YouTube or another trainer that you might follow out there, put things in front of him, leave positive notes, do everything that you can. And I applaud you for doing that. So to help you with that influence, Paula, I'm gonna give you access to. And this is Paula Gardner I'm talking to. So hopefully you're listening to this recording, Paula, I'm gonna give you access to one of my courses called the Influence course. It's a $197 course about how to gain influence with other people so that you can help them and so or serve them or persuade or get them to believe in you, buy from you, support you, invest in you, whatever it is. But the outcome of the course is that you're more influential with other people. So, Paula Gardner, I will get you access to that as well. Kelly Carson asked Kelly Carson, 58, asks Brendan, how do you know? When I thought it was Kelly Clarkson for a second, I was like, hey, Kelly, what's up? Kelly Carson, 58, says Brendan, how do you know when it's time to give it your all to, oh, to finally quit your day job and pursue your passions full time? Kelly, you know it the second that you feel it is true. You know it the second that you feel it is true. When you have an impulse inside that says, this is my time to give it all, honor that feeling. It doesn't mean you need to quit right away. It just means it's time to start planning. You know, I have this challenge I give so many people in my industry who have gone on become very influential thought leaders who left another career to do it. And what I encourage them to do is say this. If you know in your heart of hearts it is time to leave something that you are doing and pursue something that gives you more passion and joy, then what I suggest to you is open up your calendar right now. Go to your calendar. Go six months out from today. Open up that calendar six months out from today and write in there D day. This is the day I quit. Then work backwards from that day and do what is responsible for you, your family, your team, your business, whatever it is. And by the way, six months is arbitrary and that might be too soon for you. I don't know your real situation, so please know that I'm just saying pick a date. My advice is pick a date sooner than you're comfortable with and work backwards from that day to start immediately searching for other opportunities or immediately developing new competency, knowledge, skill, ability so that you can make that leap immediately trying to figure out how to earn more or earn what you need to earn to maintain the lifestyle or be responsible with your finances, your family, immediately. So here's how I made mine. I knew I needed to leave my corporate job and I set a date. But I also said, well, how? How would I do that? How does this career work? So I started Working on the side, trying to understand how to make money, speaking, training, writing books, and specifically for me, doing online courses. And as I was doing that, I started finding that I was making maybe about 15, 20% of my salary on the side. And I thought, oh my gosh, if I'm making 15, 20% on the side while I'm working over here, this full time job that was taking me, you know, working irresponsible and maybe even illegal hours, I was working like 12, 16, 18 hours a day for weeks and months on end, every single day. I mean, I was getting worked. I realized that I thought, well, if I'm spending that much time there and I'm getting 100% of my salary there and over on the side where I'm barely giving it any time, I'm getting 15, 20%. Well, if I gave that 15 to 20% more of my hours, that could grow into not 100% of my salary. I didn't think that way. I just thought, well, maybe it could grow into 30% of my salary. If I gave all my time and allocation to this 15, 20%, could I get it to 30%? Because I could survive on 30%. It's maybe not as much, but I'd be doing something I'm passionate about, something that I love, something I can see benefiting my future. So let me move towards that. So I started giving that more and more of my time and I set that date and I quit. And sure enough, I did it, you know, right away. I made, I say that 15, 20%. And then the truth is I lost everything over a period of about a year because I had no idea what I was doing. Again, there wasn't an experts academy. There was no training for thought leaders that was comprehensive back then, at least not in all areas of our business. And you know, our businesses, you know, books, courses, webcasts, webinars, online courses, seminars, you know, certifications, coaching, all these different areas that thought leaders can monetize their wisdom. I didn't know how to do that. There was no experts academy. That's what we do now at Experts Academy. And we've been blessed to train more thought leaders than any other training program in the world. But that didn't exist. I had to literally do the research, interview the experts, figure out how to do it, then implement it, get the results, then keep getting learning and refining before I could teach that. But what I share that, the reason I share that for is it maybe took a little while and then I figured out and bamboo. Once I figured out what to do. Everything changed, but it would have never changed if I had not yet made the leap. So set a date, skill up, make the leap when it's responsible and go. Because if you your question was how do you know when it's time to give it your all? You know when you felt it was true to even ask that question. I hope that serves you. Kelly Carson, number 58. To help you with that, I would like to give you one of our other programs called High Performance Academy Online that will help you realize so that when you do make that leap, you're, you know, you're weaponized, you're good to go. You know how to manage your psychology, physiology, productivity, persuasion, the ability to get done. KELLY Carson, that is a thousand dollar online course. I'll give it to you for free. Everybody else listening. Don't forget, you can go to brendon.com forward/own. That's B-R-E-N-O-N.com. yes, there's an O at the end of my name. B-R-E-N-O-N.com forward/own O-W-N for that limited time offer, you get into the course for what I think it's I should look honestly with you guys. It's about 69. It's usually 79. So you're getting $10 off. Plus you're getting a free hardcover copy of my new book, High Performance Habits, the deluxe audio version of the book as well. And my friends, I'll send you a copy of Oprah's new book, Wisdom of Sundays. And I'll give you a free $97 course on how to better manage your energy mentally, emotionally and physically so that you can feel your best. So that you can. Yep. Reignite youe Life. My course, Reignite youe Life is broken up into three sections. Number one is let ambition Back In. So as soon as the course begins, you'll get some quick wins to help you reignite your life. Really in that section, you'll begin to gain more energy and passion by doing very tangible, tactical daily things. You'll begin to identify and also get rid of activities or obligations or distractions that are not adding value to your life that are sapping life from you. And you'll get new tools like a personalized morning routine. You'll spring clean sort of areas of your life that are not working to help you find more time so that you can devote your passions and get that ambition back into your life and get that momentum back into your Life, you can feel and contribute at your highest levels, but you got to get ambition back into your life by spring cleaning and getting a few things out. We help you with that. In section one of Reignite youe Life, Section two is all about breaking through. And it's the big stuff. I help you take on fear and help you deal with overwhelm. I'll help you learn how to change negative patterns so that you can relieve your sort of release yourself from, you know, those energy sapping thoughts that you've been having. Release yourself from those bad habits that you keep returning to over and over again. And I'll show you how you identify where those things are coming from and how specifically to change them. I'll give you tools and activities that you probably have never even heard of or tried before. It's an unbelievable section. It's called Breaking through. That's in Reignite youe Life, the course. And in section three, it's all about gaining momentum. And that is a section all about finding that greater degree of confidence and improving your relationships at home, at work or in your community. So frankly, you feel better with the people around you each day. So I'll give you an activity and a specific tool that will help you figure out how to have those difficult conversations that you have been wanting to have. And you'll be finally able to sort of, you know, quote unquote, put it out there with your loved ones or those you're serving or those you're leaving so that you can overcome the fear of doing that, that fear of avoidance, and that you can really move forward, forward confidently in your relationships. So the course includes over 15 teaching videos. They're each about 10 to 15 minutes in length. There's exercises, downloadable worksheets. There's an online journal, and you can check all that out@brendon.com own brendon.com own for this limited time offer, so make sure you check it out. It's one of my most affordable courses we've ever created, especially that has that much emotional depth for you. And it's something I'm really passionate about. And it's something that's frankly something that really supports the Oprah Winfrey Network, which is something I deeply, deeply connect with and I love. I thank Oprah and the entire team over there for believing in me, for supporting my courses and my programs over the years. It is a truly deep, deep honor to get to serve at this level and with somebody at the level of Oprah Winfrey. So I thank you, Oprah, and The entire team at Oprah Winfrey Network for believing in me and again, supporting me. Everybody else, remember, by supporting this course, you also allow me to continue doing all of my work ad free. I don't take sponsors. I don't run, you know, ads in front of my videos or a podcast or anything. I'm never here selling mattresses or underwear to you. I have no problem with people who do that. But I'm able to self fund all this and avoid all that marketplace confusion and noise, frankly, with you by just bringing you straight up great personal, professional development. I do that because you share my work, because you support my books and my courses. And so this is a great one to one relationship. You support my work. I keep getting to do it without selling you mattresses. So I hope that supports you. My friends, I thank you for your time and your energy and I just hope that you leave this with some simple practices that you'll put into play. And also that shift, that belief that you can reignite your life, you can reignite the energy that you are experiencing in the world. You can reignite that positivity and that optimism and that belief in yourself. Because right now we need you fully alive. This is your moment of ignition, my friend. This is your time. Life can change. You can take ownership of your energy again. You can change your daily practices. You can become an extraordinary person. You just have to decide right now that that is what you want and start moving towards it again. It's been an honor for everybody. Thank you to everybody listening who is with us on the live webcast. I hope you have enjoyed this one. Please go out and subscribe to the Brendon show on any of your favorite podcast platforms. Maybe go to itunes. Give me a rating. Let me know what you think of all of our podcasts. I appreciate hearing from you all. Thanks again for everybody who joined us on this episode of the Brendon Show.