Designing Your Perfect Day
31 Aug 2014 · 11 min
Brendon Burchard says most people have almost no perfect days because they lack a clear vision of what one feels like. He offers a four-part framework: what you create, who you connect with, the character you embody, and the feelings you want. Morning routines, journaling, and visualization turn vision into action.
Chapters
Welcome to the charged life. This is Brendan Burchard. What would be your perfect day? I mean, your ideal day? A day that you went to bed that night and you just thought, that was the most incredible day. That's how I want most of my days in my life to be. Just like that. What would that perfect day be like, right, for you? Check this out. I've asked this to tens of thousands of people around the globe as I travel and I do my speeches, I get invited to speak at all these conferences. And most people don't know, which is amazing. I asked the audience this. Check this out. I say, how many of you have had a perfect day? I mean, a day that was just so amazing. You were just like, oh, that was so. Just amazing. I was so happy and fulfilled and grateful for that day. How many of you had one of those perfect days like that this week? And usually out of an audience, maybe half the room will raise their hand. So 50% had a perfect day that week. I said, well, how many of you had at least two of those this month? And people are kind of. They really have to think about it. They don't even know if they've had that many good days. They think about it and they're like, now it goes down to 30%. And what I end up finding is, I hear over and over and over again, most people feel like they had maybe 10, 15, 20 perfect days in the course of a year. Now, think about that 365 days a year, and they would say, maybe only 10, 15, 20 perfect days a year. Now, of course, we have to talk and qualify about this idea of a perfect day, because maybe people just set too high of expectations for themselves, right? But then I ask that, I say, do you think you have too high of an expectation for that perfect day? Is that perfect day that you had? Is. Is that something you can't have ever again? And they're like, well, no, of course not. I say, so the day is achievable. They say, yes. So then I ask, well, why don't you have more of them? And two reasons. It turns out. It seems that some people just have never clarified what would be an ideal day for themselves. I mean, what would it really be like? And most importantly, what would it feel like? What would it feel like? What would an ideal day feel like for you? Have you ever journaled about that? I mean, is there a vision board somewhere that would describe what that day would be like for you? Do you have it written down in a journal or a dream sheet somewhere that says, this would be the ideal day for me. Knowing that maybe that day is so amazing and perfect. You know, some people say, well, it'd be my wedding day. And they said, it's a singular day. I'm talking about more of, honestly, a lifestyle. Not just a day, but a life. What would it be like? What it feel like for you? And so I think there's some common things you can start to think about in designing yours. Because again, most of the problem is people don't have vision for it. But, you know, it's biblical. Where there is no vision, people perish. I mean, the number one rule I have in life is have vision for your life. You know, know where it is that you're going and what you want to feel, sense, experience, give, contribute, be about. So let's talk about some of those things so you can start crafting your ideal day. First thing you might want to take into consideration is something I spoke about just a second ago is how does it feel? What does that day feel like? I want you to think about it not in terms of what you're doing, because a lot of people start with the do. Here's the things I have to be doing. I want you to think about. What would it feel like for you if you ended that day and you laid your bed on the pillow? How would you describe how you felt that day? If you're clear about the feeling, then be able to match some activities that would generate or help us feel those particular feelings. Right? Experience those types of emotions. So what do it feel like? Now let's start moving into a little framework to help you think through this. Usually when you talk about someone's ideal day, there's some, several things that they want to experience in there. One is they want to create something, right? They want to feel like they've created or contributed to something. They've created an experience with some friends or some family or. Or they've contributed something specifically to. Some folks are trying to help out or lead or serve in some way. So what would you like to create or contribute on your ideal day? What would it be? What would that ideal day be about? Other people also say, well, they wanna connect, you know, they wanna. That ideal day that would just be with their wife the whole day, you know, or they say that would just be with the kids out on the lake fishing or something, you know, so they might have this idea in their mind about that. That feeling and that connection through a relationship with somebody that makes them feel alive and fulfilled for that Day. So what types of things would you like to create, contribute, but also who would you like to connect with? Now we're almost there, so let me pause and say, hey, could you create that day? Is this a day you could actually have? More than 1 of a year? 2 of a year? 5 of a year? See, most people who have an ideal day, I think they're off track in life sometimes because they have a definition of an ideal day in their life, and yet they don't seek to actualize that day. They don't seek to design their days around that. And some people say, well, Brendan, that's not realistic. People can't have these ideal lives. You know who says that? Bitter people. People who've given up on the path of their dreams. People who are so frustrated, so jaded, so torn, so just torn from their belief or torn from themselves or from their dreams that they don't believe it anymore. But I can tell you now, getting to have accomplished my dreams, I just wanted to be a writer, and I want to be a trainer and get to do this with you for full time. And now I do that. It's what I get to do. It's a fulfillment of my dream. And I can tell you I've met more and more and more and more and more people who are living lives that they're so satisfied with, that they're so connected with, they're so engaged and alive. They wake up with a high degree of enthusiasm for their day. They can't wait to. To experience that day. And at night, they're so grateful for it, they journal about all of their gratitude. It's not to be Pollyannish and say you're not gonna have some bad days come up. But it's saying, you know what? You can design your days. You can make your life about what you want it to be about. So what do you want it to be about? What should the majority of your days be about for you in terms of creating, contributing and connecting? But what should they also be about for you? Your character? Who's gonna show up on your ideal day? What would you be like on your ideal day? Would you be weak and fearful? Or would you be courageous and strong? Would you be judgmental and mean and upset, full of hatred and jealousy and anger and regret about life and other people? Or would you be somebody who's open and excited for other people and connected with other people and positive and enthusiastic? What would you be like your ideal day? Have you ever written that down? Here's who I would be on My ideal day. Here's how I'd treat my wife, my partner, my spouse, my lover, the kids. Here's how I treat strangers. Here's how I treat other people. And then the idea is, don't wait until the end of your life to have that ideal day. Don't wait until next year or next week to have that type of day. We can choose to wake up every single day and live that day in an idealistic way for ourselves, in a way in which we show up as who we want to be. In a way in which we are doing things that enliven us and engage us and get us excited. In a way that we're doing things and being with people and creating experiences that feel alive and fulfilling. We can have that type of life. I call it the charged life. And everybody can have it. It's a matter of discipline in getting it. And here's one simple trick and tool to make sure you get more of those ideal days. When you start your day, you must own your morning. You must own your morning. Look, if you thought about your ideal day, I bet you didn't say, well, I roll out of bed, I grab my iPhone, and I check my email, right? That's not an ideal day. You have to own that morning to make sure that you're proactive with that day, to say, you know what? Okay, what is it I want to be about this day? What are the things I want to achieve and create and experience this day? What kind of character do I want to cultivate today? What do I want to learn today? Give today, Grow today? You have to have some aim and intention to have a phenomenal day. And it's not that you can't go with the flow and the bumps and the bruises and the struggles and hardships of life, but when you're experiencing those, you can still experience them from a place of presence and peace and enthusiasm. Even the ultimate challenges in my life and I've faced. I've lost friends. I've lost my father to leukemia. I've been through my own multiple brain injuries, car accidents, ATV accidents, broken enough bones in my body. It's kind of a sad story, really. But every single hardship I've ever faced, including leaving and starting my own business, even moving to new cities, every major challenge, obstacle in my life, I always chose to meet that as my ideal self. I always say, well, how would my highest self interact with this situation? Now, maybe that sounds Pollyannish to some people, and I know on YouTube here I'll get plenty of hate for it. But I'll tell you what. A lot of people need to get more intentional about their day to create the ideal lives. Not to have an ideal day once a millennium, but to have a string of ideal days. Even if you're dealing with struggle and hardship and the world's curve balls, you're showing up in a way that when you lay your bed, when you go to bed at night, you're pro of the way you interacted with that struggle, with that challenge, with that demand of you. You're proud of who you demonstrated yourself of to the world, that you're living the ideal character and person you believe yourself to be on a continual basis. And life starts to feel ideal again. Give yourself that gift. Do this journey. Take this time today. Sit down, Pause this video. Watch it again if you have to. Do it again. Journal. What is that ideal day like for you? What would that dream day be like for you? Who's there? What are you doing? What are you contributing? What might you be learning, giving, being a part of? Think about that. And who are you specifically during that day? With that intention, with that aim, you start to experience more and more of those days. And as more and more of those days start to gather force and momentum, your character develops force and momentum. The world sees what you're about and draws more opportunities to you to serve it up to that type of person who, who wants those types of things. And suddenly you wake up one day, you look around, you've got this sense of aliveness and joy in the day. You look back at the week, you're like, that was an amazing week. That was an amazing month. That was an amazing year. That was an amazing decade. That was an amazing life and you deserve that. And that is the charge. Hey everyone, it's Brendan. Did you like this episode? Be sure to subscribe to the next one and tell a friend about us. If you want free books and world class training on motivation and high performance, visit me@Brendon Burchard.com and enter your name and email for our newsletter list. Until next time, stay charged and go out there every day of your life and live fully, love openly and make your difference today. Sam.