Develop Your Self-Acceptance

Hello my friends. I'm Brendon Burchard, host of the Brendon show and founder of growthday.com and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. I believe that every day we can be inspired. We can live with intention and purpose. We can bring the joy and honor the struggles of each day to push ourselves to grow, to serve, to be a role model, to lead extraordinary lives. I believe that every day is a great day to grow. That's why I started my company, growthday.com it's an online personal growth platform where you can get me and the world's best personal development teachers live coaching you every week. Sharing our wisdom, keeping you motivated and accountable, encouraging you to find the aliveness and the connection and meaning of life that we're all after. If you're not a member yet, please go sign up@growthday.com and join our huge worldwide community of achievers. For less than a dollar a day you get the world's best teachers live every week. And look, you've probably known for a long time that you needed some expert guidance, an inspired community and life changing tools. So please, your breakthrough awaits you@growthday.com now let's get to today's episode. My friends, please listen closely. Maybe you take some notes so you remember these insights of personal growth and share this episode with three of your friends because we all have to share more positive messages in the world today. So share this with three friends just like you who are committed to their personal growth. And also be sure to tag me or DM me on Instagram. Rendon Burchard, Join our million plus community there on Instagram so I can say hi. Thanks again for listening.

Now let's begin. If you don't have self acceptance, clearly you don't have authenticity, self confidence. If you don't have self acceptance, clearly you won't have an authentic sense of happiness because you don't even like yourself. So what do we do about this when I'm coaching others? Well first, after I've tried to understand where that's coming from. That solution driven part of coaching is about realizing there's things we all do to gain greater success. Self acceptance. Your self wants to realize itself, right? We all want to reach a fuller, higher standard of our potential, right? We all want that. I've never met a person in my life who didn't want to realize a higher level of potential for themselves or their family or their teams or their work. And I know some of you are like no, no, no you don't know my kid. He's 42 and he's still on the couch. I don't have a judgment for that. What I have to say about that is this. That person does too. It's built in the human spirit. We all want to grow. We all want to be happy. Sometimes we get discouraged from that enough that we lie to ourselves and say we don't want it, or worse, we don't deserve it. Many people don't have self acceptance because they don't believe they deserve it. They think that they did something wrong. They had other people judge them. They had that experience. When they've had so much negativity around them, they started to believe that story. And so what I share with you about self acceptance, it's one of the reasons I'm a very big proponent of coaching or of therapy. A lot of self acceptance is actually socially gained. There's a reason that the psychology department tends to be in the same building as a sociology department because they go hand in hand. We are social animals. A lot of your acceptance of yourself actually has nothing to do with self acceptance. Your acceptance yourself came from how people treated you before it was socially gained and constrained. You started to believe that you were at a certain level based on how other people around you treated you. Isn't it true? And one way to gain greater self acceptance is to take back that self part and say, oh, I'm going to do the work on me right now. I'm going to take some time to work on myself again. And I am going to lessen the noise of the negative people around me and get around positive people who amplify the noise of positivity. It doesn't mean get around yes persons. It means get around yes spirited persons, people who are supportive and encouraging of you. You probably have one positive friend. Talk to them more often, hang out with them more often, lean on them more. I think that's critical because the easiest way to develop often the self is, is in our social environment. Getting other, more positive, healthy people around us tends to lift all boats. The other thing to think about with the acceptance part is to learn to be in the moment in such a way that you can forgive the things that you did in the past. I don't know if you've picked up on it yet, but the world is turning a new chapter. You should too. I don't know if you picked up on it, but this is a time of ripe transition and transformation. Allow that for yourself. Yeah, maybe you screwed up last year in the business. Maybe you screwed up four years ago. Maybe you did something that you feel like was unforgivable. In this moment right here in your heart of hearts, in the universe, you got a clean slate and it is time to start adjusting from who you were to who you desire to become. You need to get off the guilt train and on the becoming train. That old story, that chapter closed, the new story is a bunch of blank pages. A lot of self acceptance happens in the orientation towards the future. Having something to look forward to, deciding to become somebody or something that you will be proud of versus sitting there and going, I'm terrible because of last year, that year, that year, like ruminating on the old stories versus building the new one. What are we going to do? When you feel like you're trapped in a negative route, it's often because you are replaying past old stories versus building the new one. It's like it is a new chapter time. It is a get on the becoming train. It is a like our self acceptance is revitalized. When you say, oh, I am remaking myself, this time I will be intentional. This time I will do it with supportive people. This time I will be disciplined and practiced about it. And all of a sudden you start feeling better about yourself. You want to feel bad about yourself, ruminate on all the old bad things that happened to you and all the old bad things you did before. This is why it's so critical to do personal development work, because it always leans you towards the future, right? It always helps you go, oh wait, I got some blank slates here. I got some new chapters here. I got some ways to revitalize myself. And soon as yourself, right, as soon as your mind acknowledges that you are building again, something changes, a new energy comes from within. And all of a sudden the next thing can happen, you can be congruent with that vision of yourself. You cast a new vision of yourself and you take the habits you do, the practices that help you be congruent with becoming that self. And all of a sudden, with greater congruence towards a future self, your confidence comes back up. It's the easiest way to shift somebody out of that old mentality or those old feelings or that low self esteem into a higher gear. It's about, oh, okay, I can acknowledge and I can appreciate and I can accept that the life that I've lived has happened. I can accept that everything's not perfect. I can accept I'm not perfect and neither are they. But I can also accept that right now, in this moment, I can have hope. I can accept that right now, in this moment, I can write some new ideas down. I can accept right now, in this moment that tomorrow I can start changing my mindset to be happy, even if my circumstances aren't yet there.

Hey, it's Brandon jumping back in here again. Are you looking to go to the next level in your life right now? The next level of joy, abundance, success? Then you already know that you need to journal about your lessons learned in your life. You got to track your moods and your habits. You have to learn from the best personal development coaches and teachers in the world. And you got to stay inspired and accountable so that you can be more focused, disciplined, joyous and keep growing. That's what the Growth Day app is going to help you to do, my friend. It's the world's first all in one personal development app.

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Progress every week, to track your breakthroughs and to keep growing in every area of your life consistently over the long term. So go start your transformation right now@growthday.com or just download the Growth Day app on your phone right now. Every day. You can keep improving every day. We are here for you and every day is truly a great day to grow together. So let's make self improvement a way of life. Let's make that self improvement stick. Go to growthday.com right now.

I was a happy, exuberant, enthusiastic, loving person at a time where I was constantly in physically fights. I was broke and I had almost no hope for a future that would become what my life became like. And yet I decided, okay, I need to start living into the vision of who I can become and who I feel called to become. Because who I feel called to become isn't this person laying in bed feeling bad about himself all day. Even though I had plenty of reasons to feel bad about myself, I will never say to you, you don't have any reasons to feel bad about yourself. I love spiritual teachers who can teach that. I can't do it, but I love when they do. What I might suggest is like, hey, let's just accept ourselves. I can accept that you did bad things in the past. I can also accept that maybe you'll choose today to shift gears and to start that forward lean to building the future character of who you can really become. That's the hope and the promise and the beauty and the potential of self improvement. You know, that's the stuff that we understand changed the world, in the world of philosophy, all of a sudden, you know, you had from Stoicism to Christianity to all of a sudden, you know, Rousseau talking about the idea that we have liberty and the ability to improve ourselves. Oh, wait a minute. That's a hopeful revolution. And that is sometimes what we need. That is sometimes what we need. And also, I want to remind you, sometimes that means getting around more supportive people. Sometimes that means hiring yourself a coach so they can monitor your mindset and help you build. Sometimes it means getting a therapy so they can heal the old stuff. Whatever it means, it means that you have the opportunity to do it. And what I encourage all of you to set as a goal to feel good about yourselves again, to actually have it as a goal. Because some people go, oh, one day I'll achieve this thing, then I'll feel good about myself. No, my external circumstances hadn't changed. I was still broke. I was still in fights. I still had very few future opportunities. But internally, I accepted that my future self could be better. Internally, I accepted the reality was reality, but I wasn't going to live in it. I was going to start shifting my behaviors, my habits, my mindset, and the people around me until I started becoming more of who I desired to be. I don't sit here and pretend that this is easy. Do you know why that's in Growth Day? All our plans are annual plans. Transformation takes time. I'm not here to say your life is going to instantly change in every second. I'm not that guy. I don't believe that. I believe you got to do the work. I believe real life change is a set of practices. It's journaling, it's planning, it's learning from experts, motivators, mentors. It's measuring ourselves and doing our assessments so we can discover ourselves. It's taking challenges. It is taking courses. This is what we do at Growth Day, right? It is about building a community of people who are striving to make self improvement a way of life. I don't believe self improvement happens in a book. I believe self improvement is a way of life. And once it becomes that, you start becoming more accepting. Because guess what? You go from a discouraging mindset to a learning mindset, from the old stories to architecting the new ones. Your body and your mind thanks you for you. Like, oh, thank God I can let go of some of these things because I accepted them, I honored them, and now it's a new day. It's just a new day. What a beautiful new day to choose a better attitude. What a beautiful new day to become the mom you always wanted to become. To become the parent you cared about. To become the person that you know you deserve to be. You just need some new habits. I am here to encourage you to do that, even if it sounds hokey to some of you who are just getting to know me, even if I may not be your coach. You are like Brendan, you are nice. But I like Gloria Tonmo or Anthony Trucks or I like Janet or I like Cool. My job is to bring the people to you and keep opening the gates of awareness and help you keep finding self acceptance.

Okay my friend. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Brendon Show. Tell some people about this episode. It's on each of us to spread positivity and empowerment during these times of chaos and negativity.

Right?

So I'm asking you to be the dealer of hope and personal growth and education in your tribe. So take a screenshot right now and share the screenshot and this link to this episode with three of your friends today. Post it on social media. Use the hashtag growthday. That's growthday because that's the name of my company and we're always giving away prizes to our community. If you'd like to help me personally, then please rate and review the podcasts on Apple Podcasts. Give us some stars. Cheer us on, leave a review. Because believe it or not, that stuff actually really does help. And I read all of them. So my last thought for today, please remember you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you. Tomorrow can be an inspired today. Every new morning is a second chance. Every day is a great day to grow. We're thankful to have you here in the Growth Day community, so be sure to go deeper with us@growthday.com.

Sam.