Dream Big, Achieve BIGGER: Secret Superpowers to Realizing Your Goals

The primary killer of all powers is a distorted belief that says I'm an unlovable failure. They've convinced themselves they don't have social influence. It should be your job to gain social influence. It's a job because it's a skill, not a trait. Everyone makes a goal list. I want you to make a best of who you are list. Self regulation means you can dial that anger spectrum to an appropriate level of your intention and the situation at hand. To impact other people purposefully is a superpower. I don't think you can achieve your primary desires, build the routines you need, go create the work and do the work to make those goals happen or face daily tasks with really great energy unless you learn to tap into your superpowers. Summon the best of who you are. Everyone makes a goal list. I want you to make a best of who you are. Listen, in high performance coaching, if you've ever worked with one of our coaches before, we call this your success measures. It's in our clarity chart for those who might remember. And it's just about like, what are the five things that make you successful? Summon that. Summon that. I know when the best of who I am, when I'm literally the best of who I am. I'm in a space of high intention to live and to love and to matter. And I'm locked in on those. And I'm living through that as I go throughout my day. When I forget those things or I don't summon them in conflict, I'm a jerk to my wife, or I'm short on the phone or I skip a meeting just cause I don't want to do it, but it's necessary. How many of you are good meeting cancelers? How many of you are good at making good excuses to to cancel something you should do? That's when you meet a real high achiever. They can cancel stuff with real art, you know what I'm saying? That's how you know a high achiever. They can cancel stuff with real art. You know, they're really good at it. And so what I want to do today is encourage you less about the goals and the tasks, more about the daily summoning of the best of who you are. But how do we get there? Well, we've got to activate what I would call your more general humanity. Superpowers, they look like. That's close. Okay, good. Okay. Self regulation is your greatest superpower as a human. Self regulation means you are aware of yourself and how you are feeling and thinking, meaning you have high self awareness. The first part of regulating is awareness. So I have to be aware to my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, my patterns, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions. I need to be aware that I'm procrastinating now. I need to be aware that I'm rude now. I need to be aware that I'm tired now. I need to be aware that I want to be angry. Right? That's the stuff of self awareness. Regulation means you can dial that up or down on the spectrum of whatever it is. What does this mean? Self regulation doesn't mean you never have anger. Right. You will have anger. Self regulation means you can dial that anger spectrum to an appropriate level of your intention and the situation at hand. It just means there's a beat between stimulus and response where you regulate the dial. Does this make sense? It's like I want to teach you self regulation with one little simple thing. Are you ready? We're going to regulate the dial. Take anything that you have felt in your life and just imagine that there's a dial for that. And we're just going to go like this. You're just going to put your hand above your heart and you're going to go like this. If you want to feel more peace in your life, self regulation means you can turn it up. You know how to do that? For example, let's feel more peace in the room right now. Take a nice deep breath in through your nose. Nice deep breath out. Let's have the intention to feel more peaceful and relaxed. Relax your shoulders. Relax the tension in your lower back and legs. Take a nice deep breath in. And let's just turn up the dial of peace. Let's just feel more peaceful just because we didn't decide to do it. Take a nice deep breath in. Nice breath out. Release the tension around your jaw. Turn the dial up. Think of somebody you love. Turn the dial up. Okay, I'm just gonna stop there. Anyone feel a little better? Instant. So just, I want you to use the metaphor. All year long, all I want you to go is, brendan gave me a superpower. There's a dial on my heart. I'm gonna turn it up or I'm gonna turn it down. I'm gonna turn it up by my breathing and by my thoughts. My breathing, my thoughts, my breathing, my thoughts. That's it. Whatever we're gonna feel, I'm gonna go a little deeper on this. I just want you to know there's a dial. Most of us get frustrated and angry at ourselves that we have a negative feeling or emotion. Superpower doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Do you remember watching Superman and Christopher Reeves? He gets mad. He's like, ah. And he like, flies around the earth. Do you remember this? I love that scene. I'm like, oh, Superman gets mad too. And then he's got to calm himself down or he'll spin the earth off its axis. Wow, that's a superpower. He calmed himself down. Oh, you gotta learn to calm yourself. Don't be mad that you have the emotion or the energy. It's okay that you're sad. But if your sadness is stopping you from living your life or living the day or doing something that's important to you. High intention. You gotta realize, oh, I can dial that. I can dial lonely. I can dial hurt. I can dial frustration. I can dial fear. That's a superpower. That's what we mean by self regulation. I want you to know this. If you wrote down a goal before you came into this room today. If you wrote down a set of goals, I'm sorry. And it didn't have self regulation on it. You're barely scratching the surface of performance edge and your next level. You have to have high intention to start regulating better. High intention. Don't let the kids make you so mad. Dial it in. Don't let her make you so mad. Dial it in. It's really important. You see this all the time with great coaches on the sideline, right? Quarterbacks come in, they're frazzled. It's like, get them in the right spot, lock them back into the zone. Just dial them back in. It's okay. They got frazzled, but we don't want them going back on the field that way. That's what I want you to think about. You got frazzled, you got hurt, you got lonely, you got upset. There's a negative emotion. Go, oh, there's a negative emotion here. That's okay. I want to get back on the field of intention. Let me dial it so I can step back on the field in a good place. Everyone following the metaphor. Yeah. I want this to be a high goal, like a big goal. Everyone say, big goal. This is life. This is really important. And I'm gonna show you how. Most people, they screw this up, and that's why the stick figure will fall apart. They don't understand what's happening here. I'm giving you some simple tricks. But. But everyone say, dial it in. Dial it in. Yeah, you gotta dial it in. Put your hand on your heart. Say, dial it in. Dial it in. One dominant metaphor for the year. If I could give you that superpower. Just go, oh, there's a dial there. It's okay that there's something happening. Let me dial it for my intention and to be back in the field of play. Don't stay on the sidelines because the emotion is there that you don't like. Recognize it, honor it, know what it is, and then just dial it to whatever spectrum is purposeful for you. Okay? What else? Another superpower is social influence. Your ability to impact other people purposefully is a superpower. Many of you think you're not good with people. Well, I'm shy, Brendan. I'm not good with people. Oh, I'm sorry. Those aren't the same thing. You took a trait shy and assigned a behavioral outcome. Bad with people. You see what we do? Trait assign, negative outcome. Well, I'm shy, so I'm bad with people. I know a tremendous number of shy people who are incredible with people. Why did you assume the way you feel there is the outcome you have to have? Most of you have more power socially than you could ever fathom, but you told yourself you're not that person. For example, this scares most of the world to talk on stage. Talk on stage a couple hours with no notes, that would freak them out. But you'd have to have a certain error. I can imagine if I said, but I'm more introverted than extroverted. Which is true, by the way. No one ever believes it, but you can't write six books and not have a high introversion. Like, I do this as a mission, but I go home and putter around the house, you know, afterwards, I got to go hide afterwards, you know, I got to go get quiet for a few days after these events and do a few ice baths and cry. And then, no, I'm just. But imagine if years ago I said, well, I'm kind of introvert. I'm just a writer. I'm just a writer, not a speaker. I can't influence people. They wouldn't listen to me. See, that's what you usually do when you don't recognize you have this superpower. You say, they won't listen to me. Do you know the primary killer of all powers is a negative belief that sounds like this. It's a distorted belief that says, I'm an unlovable failure, shamed by other people, and I'll never be happy. And a lot of people believe that other people don't like me. I'm unlovable. They'll make fun of me. I'll be shamed by Them and I'll never be happy and find love. That's such a dominant thought for so many people that they've convinced themselves they don't have social influence. And it should be your job to gain social influence. It's a job because it's a skill, not a trait. It's a skill. It's not. Listen, write this down. It's a skill, not how I feel. See? We go, well, I don't feel comfortable doing that, so I can't have that. No, no, no. You're basing outcome on feeling trait versus skill development. Yeah. Can I get an amen on a Monday? Oh, every single one of you could train to be up on this stage. Can I get an amen on a Monday? Every single one of you can be with greater influence with your children. Can I get an amen on a Monday? Every single one of you can sell, get people to invest in you can persuade, can start movements, can make a difference in this world. Can I get an amen on Monday? You train for that. You don't have that. You train for that. You don't stick to the natural feeling. You train the skill. And this is a superpower. But guess what? You have to summon it. You have to literally choose it. Sorry to be a total dork from the 80s today, but, Jesus, I know you. I know you saw Clark Kent. You remember Clark Kent when he's Clark Kent and he's got the glasses on and he's the newspaper reporter, and he's talking to Lois Lane and he's a dork. And then literally, he steps up, changes, and he's standing there, four seconds later, she doesn't recognize him. Sorry to ruin the plot. All of a sudden, bam. He's standing there. How you doing, Lois? And all of a sudden, you're like, whoa. It's like literally the next scene. And he's just, like, amazing with her. And you're like, whoa, he just summoned Superman. Same guy without the Gl. So I want to tell you this. It's literally just up here. It is just a switching in your mind that you're good with people. It's just a switching in mind. You cannot achieve all the goals you've written down without increasing these two factors. If you were looking for an unlock, what's the advanced stuff? Brendan's going to teach me. I'm gonna tell you, all your goals are great, but I'm gonna tell you, you'll never achieve all your goals and your desires without making this the work. Can I get an amen on Monday. Do you know how easy it is to diagnose somebody with these two circles we just drew? Your kids are struggling in school. Right here, you're banging your head against the wall with the same project over and over and over again. Right here. The activation and the training. The what training? The training. I've just trained myself on these over and over and over. So I got really good with my dial, right? I can get my dial in the right position to turn on the zoom and to talk to 100,000 people, right? I can get my dial in the right position to recover after I got angry at my wife. I can turn my dial in the right position to come out on stage. I can turn the dial in the right position to get calm and write a great chapter. That's self regulation. That's why we do personal development. That's why you have to read personal development books, spiritual development books, psychology books. Learning to understand your mindset, your emotions, your thought patterns, it will shift everything. The actual goal isn't the goal. Remember, Those are just goals. Those are ambitious outcomes. The goal is you become better. You're in your superpowers more often. You summon the best of who you are. If you walk out of this room with one word or one phrase, it's summoning the best of who you are with greater frequency and intensity. Summoning the best of who you are with greater frequency and intensity. But I know when you're home and you're looking at notes, you go, how. This is how you train. Who's taken many courses on communication, persuasion, sales. Put your hands, stand up. If you've taken a lot of classes and courses on any of these two topics, ladies and gentlemen, and get recognized for our growth. Goat.