Give Yourself More Credit

Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to a best of edition of the brendon show. These best of episodes feature training that I have done live, sometimes on online to tens of thousands of people or live on stage where I was speaking on some stages across the world. Or these might be some of my monthly training programs and highlights of those that I do every single month with our monthly students. So I know you're gonna really enjoy these because these are a little bit more of a deep dive look at some of my training as a personal and professional development trainer. You know, I focus so much on helping you find that deeper level of motivation and start practicing some of those high performance habits. Well, you hear me talk about many of those concepts in in these special episodes here. These are my best of trainings only and exclusively right here on the brendon show. So I hope you enjoyed them. Please note that as you hear me speak in many of these, you'll hear me reference something because sometimes I'll have been training live or on video or on stage or through a broadcast. So you might not be able to see something I'm suggesting or motioning to or maybe even drawing out on a flip chart or motioning towards on a presentation, but you'll get the gist of it. So make sure you bust out your journal. Take some good notes here because this is really valuable insights on the mindset or the strategy that you need to adopt in order to improve your life. And if you want to go and get more content like this, but much more deeper and have more of an interactive relationship with me in this type of training, make sure you join our high performance monthly training program. That's our monthly subscription program where I go live with you and our high performance students every single month and I train on a new topic or a new piece of research that we've created from the high performance institute and I train on that and then I do q and a and actual live coaching and interactive coaching with people every single month. That's called high performance monthly and you can Access it at brendan.com monthly that's brendon.com monthly B-R-E N-O-N.com monthly to get deeper dive training similar to this. So if you like this, you would love that training program. But without further ado, let's jump in right now to one of the brendon show's best of trainings.

In this program, I'm going to tell you about the 10 emotional drives that control everything you think, feel and do in life. Understanding and activating these drives can improve the quality of your life dramatically and give you a deeper sense of meaning and joy in life. Like most Americans, you probably have everything you need to feel energized about life. A decent house, good kids, opportunity, enough Starbucks to fuel a spaceship. But there's probably too many days you feel tired, disconnected, aimless or restless. You probably feel there's something missing. Well, the good news is I know why. I've spent 15 years coaching high performing individuals and corporations. And it turns out the secret to their success has everything to do with the strength of the internal charge that they have deep within their hearts and their souls. In this program, I'm going to share with you their 10 secrets and that help them feel vibrant and positive, courageous, connected and fulfilled. And how you can too. Listen to this letter I recently received from Margaret Brendan. She writes, I'm really struggling. I've lost my drive. I'm not as motivated, productive and confident as I used to be. And I worry it's not only hurting my future, but. But I'm sad too, because I know my husband, my kids and my friends feel it too. They deserve to have me show up every day as my best self. But I can barely make it through the day, sometimes without crashing in fear or fatigue. What can I do? My question for all of you is, what would you do? What would you tell Margaret? What advice would you give her? I've asked that question to audiences around the globe. And you know what? No one really knows what to do for Margaret. They offer a hodgepodge of motivational cliches and kitchen table wisdom. But Margaret doesn't need to be told to go take a walk, honey, and you'll feel better. She certainly doesn't need to be told to go backpacking around the world until she finds herself? You know what she needs. It's the same thing everyone here needs. You need a plan. In Margaret's case, I helped her activate just two of her ten human drives. And now today, she's a force of nature and happier than she ever imagined possible. Her kids are like, mom, who are you? They love this new, engaging and energized woman who showed up in their lives. I want to help you show up differently, too. Look, there's just two things that will change your life. Either something new comes into your life or something new comes out of you. Let's jump in with the first baseline drive, the drive for control. How many of you feel that if you could just have more control in your life, more certainty you'd be happier. Well, it's good that you're here then, because guess what? More control isn't necessarily what's going to light you up the most. Meet Cindy, a stay at home mom with four beautiful kids. When Cindy came to me for coaching, she was completely in the dark as to why she felt this growing sense that she called drowning in pools of pessimism and despair. She had everything she wanted and she seemed to have it all together. In fact, I ended up calling her Checklist Cindy because this was the most organized woman you ever met. She had routines and habits and schedules and calendars and checklists and organizers for everything. She was so in control of everything. And she was miserable. Why? She was clearly activating her need for control. But did you know each of our human drives can be over activated or activated in a less productive way? Here's what was up with Cindy. I bet it's the same for many of you because it's a dilemma most of us face in our hypersonic world where everything is changing all the time. We cling to routine, but steady routines often lead to to deep ruts. What we had to do with Cindy was to teach her that one of the greatest activators for the drive for control is not to control things that are so knowable. That's useful. But the real bang for the buck is to do what I call control for new. Control for new means that we should spend as much time strategically planning the introduction of new things and new experiences into our lives. So we should spend as much time thinking about that as what we spend thinking about. Where we work out, what we'll eat, how we'll accomplish our goals. Controlling for new is where the zest in life is. Releasing control to have new experiences then is as powerful as having more control over your everyday life. Much of the boredom, depression, misery, and emotional blandness in life can be remedied by this strategy, and recent advances in neuroscience prove why. After peering into thousands of people's brains with advanced imaging machines, neuroscientists have concluded that the brain is hardwired to seek and enjoy novelty and challenge. Remember those two Novelty and challenge. Novel experiences in life make your mind snap to attention and become sharp, releasing dopamine and energizing your entire brain. If that novelty also challenges you, then your brain stays engaged for even longer. And an engaged brain is a happy brain. Here are a few simple strategies to control for new one. Take 90 day getaways every 90 days, plan a getaway either by yourself or with your spouse or significant other? Yes, every 90 days. This doesn't have to be a trip around the world. The goal isn't how far you travel, it's how far you get away mentally so that you can relax and rejuvenate. Take a staycation at home. Or better yet, leave your home and go somewhere new and disconnected. 2. Dine about town. Make your date nights an excursion to a new restaurant once a week. If you're on a budget or you're in a small town like where I grew up, where there weren't many restaurants that you don't drive up to try this, get a group of friends to rotate hosting dinner at their house. New dining experiences activate your senses and social connections. 3. Go to live events. What's happening in your city this weekend? Do you know? Are there shows, sporting events and exhibits you can go see? Despite the fact that many of us love to go to the movies or games or theater, most of us rarely do. Go out on the town more often and it will light your life up. 4. Travel do you have a list of the top 50 destinations you want to go to in life and are you routinely checking them off the list? At least one per year? If not, get to that. Traveling is one of the surest ways to introduce healthy novelty, engagement and excitement into your life. And don't just stay in the hotel or the resort when you go. Get out, do something new and have an adventure. Life should feel like that you and adventure. 5. Re engage and expand your peer circle. It's funny how making friends is so important to us when we're young, but we lay off our efforts the older that we get. Friends light up our lives though, so get out and about with them more often. Do more things together. Cultivate great friendships. A connected life is an engaged and happy life. Let's jump into the second human drive, the drive for competence. The drive for competence makes us want to understand, succeed in, and master our world. It tells us be smart and successful at whatever you do. When you feel competent, we generally feel more confident and we're more likely to apply ourselves, take on new challenges, learn faster, grow and achieve more. We think, I can handle anything because I can adapt and learn and figure it out. So what does it take to feel more confident and capable in life? Let's start with this activator. From now on, I'd like you to set monthly learning challenges for yourself. Here's how. Tonight, draw 12 boxes on a page. Each of those boxes represents one month of the year, like a calendar in each box Write what it is you want to focus on learning that month. Maybe it's learning how to play the piano, create a webpage, or set up a new system at work, or beginning to learn a new language. The idea is to pick your learning challenges purposefully and actually commit to trying and learning a new thing every single month. Trust me, this will light up your life and your brain because it automatically introduces novelty and challenge into your life every month. In 12 months, you'll feel unstoppable for the rest of your life. And hey, once you've picked a learning challenge and make sure you go out there and find an expert on that topic. Study them, implement what they teach. This will shorten your learning curve dramatically and soon you'll feel so in command of your life it's insane. Meet Henry Henry was 58 years old and a very good dad, but he was a very bad eater. He always said he didn't know what to eat, so he just ate anything. One day, playing basketball with his teenage daughter on their driveway, Henry fell to his knee, grasped his arm, and had a massive heart attack. When I met him months later, he was depressed. He felt powerless over his own health. I said, henry, you're a smart guy. Tell me, what would you have to learn right now to improve your life? He said, well, I'd have to learn to cook healthier meals and exercise smartly for people in my condition, but I don't know how. I said, dude, do you have an Internet connection? Within a day, he searched online and found a guru to follow and studied what he was supposed to do. It's not hard to learn. It's hard to take action. But when you face the fire of a life that feels horrible, you get committed and you make it happen. That's what Henry did. Within a month, he lost 32 pounds. Within six months, he was fit, happy and vibrant, and he also started coaching his daughter's basketball team. This turned out to be the secret to changing my own life last year when I was recovering from a brain injury. Like I mentioned, I had wrecked a four wheeler while on vacation and it left me with post concussive syndrome. For several months, I had trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, and connecting with other people. Life started to lose its spark. But as soon as I got disciplined about challenging my mind, doing puzzles, learning new language, deepening my skill sets for writing and racquetball and reading books, suddenly I started to feel more competent, more in control of my brain, more energized, and more alive than I'd felt in years Now, I'm guessing you don't have a brain injury, so all this might be a little easier for you. So set a few new challenges today to learn something. In 12 months, you have learned 12 new things. Hit 12 goals and you will feel unstoppable. Also think about this. Throughout your lifetime, you've had tens of thousands of wins and learning experiences. But I bet you never gave yourself credit for them. When you learned to ride a bike without training wheels, you didn't exactly celebrate it because you immediately started wanting to go further and faster. Life is like that. You're always on to the next new thing without having recognized what you just accomplished. My guess is you've forgotten how incredible you are and how far you have come. You're not giving yourself credit for how competent and capable you really are. So sometimes you play small. So try this. Take a moment tonight and write out all the things you've learned and succeeded at in the last few years. You'll start to realize just how capable you really are. And it will activate a pride and confidence and readiness in you to charge into the world once more. You see, you can live a more fully charged life. You can have more clarity and courage and connection if we just ignite the charge within you. I say it's your time. Right now. It's your time to release control and yet start planning for new and exciting experiences in your life. It's your time to activate your love of learning, to challenge yourself, to grow again so you can master your world and you can be confident in your own abilities. It's your time. If you agree with me, say it's my time. It's my time.

It's my time.

It's my time.

It's my time.

It's my time.

All right, my friend. I hope that you enjoyed that best of episode. Was that inspiring? Were you fired up? Did you love it? If you did, make sure you do me a favor, go out on social media somewhere and share that episode. You know, just go out, post it somewhere, post yourself listening to it. Make sure you hashtag the Brendon show because when you do that, I can look you up and we can find you on Instagram and post that on social media. And sometimes we do all expense paid trips to people we find. We just randomly select people, we send them gifts, autograph books, swag T shirts, all expense paid trips to some of my seminars. So make sure you let us know, share what you thought about this episode out there on the social media worlds and then we can find you and celebrate you. And also I would love to invite you to join us in our high performance monthly program. So just go to Brendan.com monthly. That's Brendan.com monthly. That's where we do deeper dive trainings like you just heard. But we do that every, every single month. And there's some live Q and A there and I do some giveaways and we give students in that monthly program tickets to my seminars and some extra special training on leadership. So make sure you check it out@brendon.com monthly. I appreciate you being part of this community of so many people dedicated to finding that deeper drive of motivation and practicing high performance habits so that they can become extraordinary in their careers. In your personal life, in your health, your, you can live an extraordinary quality of life. And sometimes you just need a little bit more training and a little bit more nudge, a little bit more energy, a little bit more drive and consistency. And I'm hoping that being part of this community with the Brendon show, I'm providing that to you in some way. So thank you, my friend, for listening. I look forward to seeing you or listening with you on the next episode of the B r e n d o N show.

Sam.