How To Amplify Your Life (50-Min Class!)

You only get fearful if you let fear precede you and you think that you can't figure it out with other people. But if you have faith that you can figure it out with other people, it's not fearful anymore. It's planning. And now there's no fear, it's planning. It doesn't mean that you don't have concern, doesn't mean you might have the occasional emotion called worry. It doesn't mean you might get sometimes in the discouragement, doom loop. But it means over and all you go, okay, I'm a solution minded person, where you are going to proceed with faith, with this plan. And when the plan falls apart, which it always does, we'll adapt, we'll pivot, and we will keep going. The main thing is we will keep. What I'd love to do is share a little of why is it that when we talked about this idea that we all want aliveness, some people get it more than others. Not absent of it, but just more of others. Why is it when we talk about connection, some people get it more than others? When is it when we talked about meaningful pursuits. Pursuits. What was the word? You got to remember that one. Not just meaning meaningful pursuits. And we talked about growth. Why do some people experience more of these things? That's my session. Like, how do you go beyond that? Like what expands that? What makes you go beyond that? And so if I put like a little square around this, I'd love to give you the four sides of what I think the psychology is of amplifying each of these. Like, where does it come from? What happens? Like, what's the difference maker? Because there is a difference maker, right? Because lots of people. Would you all agree you want these things? Yes or no? Okay, half. Yes or no? Okay. Yeah, yeah. How about in back? You want those things? Yes. Oh, there go. Hey, give a round applause. You guys are still here. That was epic. So you're still here, right? You're still here. You want it? Everyone wants these things. Why do some get it? Everyone wants these things. Why do some people go beyond the ordinary? And it's like another level for them, like, what are the distinctions? And I spent about the last 10 years really trying to understand that, right? Some of you saw my study on high performance with high performance habits. It was like, that was very deep academic research and a lot of ethnographic research from my coaching, it was like great deep. But then the funniest thing after that book came out, now I started working with all the high performers in every industry. Like before that book. I never worked with the, you know, the celebrity musicians. Musicians. I can't sing a tune. You know, I had worked with people like, you know, Usher, but, like, literally teams calling me now to work at other levels with bands, musicians, dancers, areas of my life, I'm like, I don't. That's not my thing. Like, way other levels in other industries I didn't even know anything about and started seeing, like, oh, there's a difference. There's something extra, there's something beyond, there's something ultra. There's something, you know, expansive. There's something extraordinary even beyond those who already have success. Because, you know, the truth is, a lot of people get success and then they cap out. And it's really funny. They did all of this learning and they got it. They got it. So they went from the cage life to the comfortable and maybe even a little bit in the charge life, and they got the success. It hit them. And then they go, I don't know if I can sustain this. Then they go, I don't know if I can handle this. Then they go, this sounds like a lot, even today. And I rarely share what happens in a VIP room with the rest of the group. But our VIP group here, even in the VIP group, the first question I took today was someone who goes, these are all great concepts, but I actually am successful, and I already am at this other level, and it's new for me, and I'm worried I'm gonna let other people down. And that lack of confidence to go to another level often comes from the fact that we worry that we can't handle it. The fear is the fear of responsibility. I'm fearful that I can't go to another level because I can barely handle this one, or, hey, I got here. But going there, I don't know it. I'm going to have to invest again, learn again, build again, hire again. I don't know if I'm ready for round two of success. Who knows what I'm talking about? Like, round two, three, four, five of success is scary. And most people will never go there because you know what happens for a lot of people as they are striving for success? You know, for them, there's this big thing they really want success. And on the way up to it, which more looks like, you know, really ugly. But you get the idea, you know, down here we're kind of dumb. You're not supposed to say that no more. But who knows what I'm talking about? You kind of. You're naive. You're dumb. You're unaware, right? Listen, even billionaire Jamie Kern Lima's husband bought how to Build web Pages for Dummies. Hey, it's real. It's okay to call it that. Okay? You don't know. And then what do you do? You skill up. You skill up. You skill up. You learn distinctions. You figure things out. It gets better. Then you start optimizing a little bit. That means you might figure out process and run that process again over and over and over and over again, right? And then one day, some measure of success happens, and you're like, awesome, okay, I've climbed that mountain. I've achieved the star at the top. Great. But the problem is many people stay here forever because the truth is they have another higher ambition up here like this, like they got other things they want to do. But listen, and this is why I wanted to have trucks talk before I do this is because the truth is they want all of this at this same level of who they are, the same level of their current capabilities. They start expecting that that should be here, because they already did it. Dang it. I already worked myself so hard, Brendan. Why should I have to do it again? They don't realize to get up there, same process again, just a different level. So I always say, trust, you've already done it. That's good. You've already done it. But don't forget, you've got to do this learning journey again. You still maybe that next level you need some more exposure to get intelligent on. You gotta skill up again. You gotta optimize again. All that study, all that work, all that it has to happen again. And most people, what they do is go, I can't do it again. I don't have the energy. I'm scared I'll fail. I'm scared I'll let them down. And you start mentally putting yourself into a place over here, even though you're successful because you believe now, well, I've tried. It was so hard before. I don't want to do it again. And you don't understand, to go to that next level, you don't have to do it again. It's very much like trucks quote about TD Jakes, that if your goal is so big, but it doesn't involve anybody else helping to help you, you might not have a real goal. And the VIP conversation was about this person. She just had to realize that, oh, she can handle those bigger contracts, those bigger deals, those bigger things. She just doesn't have to do it by herself this time. And this time, as she goes there. You're not just working with newbies now. You're hiring people who are more experienced, who's already been there before. And that's how you just keep going up, right? But because people fight this or they don't like it or they're uncertain of it, they never break through on the very things that we want. And so let me give you that first distinction. You want to go to another level. You want to understand success? Let me give you this first breakthrough. Those who achieve it have higher ambition. That's why I started the seminar like this. You have to raise it. You need to be in a group that raises it for you. If you don't do it yourself or a coach, an accountability, a mentor, somebody, your buddy, whatever, somebody's got to be around you. I want to reflect back to you now what you heard from Jamie this morning. Remember, she made her first. She had her first makeup made when she figured out. Just for herself. When she figured out how to cover her Rosdesha. What did she say to you? She used the same term three times in her talk. Same term three times. The first time she figured out, she's like, other women like, this. This is going to be huge. First time she's doing it solved her own problem. She said, this is gonna be. Then, oh, they figured out they get the janky website built by the dummies guide for HTML. The website goes up. She said, what? This is gonna be. Oh, you guys suck. Oh, no, this is gonna be. This is gonna be. That's what it felt like. Oh, my God. Who's had an idea in the last four or five years? You're like, this is gonna be huge. Yeah. Yeah. If you haven't had that in your life yet, I don't know if you've done that. Personal development. Cause when you do personal, it opens up a gate of awareness that you access other ideas that are beyond you. Right. If you're only accessing ideas to solve today's problem in front of you, you're in reaction mode and you don't know it. But when ideas come up that are so much bigger than you, you're like, whoa. That means you're open. That means you're a conduit to a bigger energy than yourself. That's what I want for all of you. And then as she got onto QVC and she did that first thing, and it sold out. And her husband's like, we're not gonna go bankrupt. She's like, the women have spoken. This is gonna be. Oh, my God. Do you get it? Can I emphasize this enough? Is it possible for this to sink in differently tonight after all you have been through? You must raise your ambitions. You must allow yourself to do it. You must open to the next level. Your dreams must get bigger. Not necessarily that. The outcome or the achievement or. The thing is, you know, oh, well, now you're telling me I'm a millionaire, now I need to be a billionaire. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we all want aliveness. We all want connection. We want meaning. And growth. And growth. Sometimes it is your finances growth, sometimes is your wealth growth. Sometimes is your ability to be more confident, more strong, more capable to serve more people. I don't. The growth, whatever it is for you. Lots of people, their first measure of growth is wealthy. It's just. It's where they go because our society is built around that. I'm not saying that. What I'm suggesting is for your next level of growth. You have to remember. You have to remember this is not me making this up. You remember Les Brown? You want to succeed in life, you got to be hungry. Turn the person left, right, shake them. Say, you got to be hungry. Whoo. I'm telling you what, you got to be hungry again. You got to be hungry to lose the weight. You got to hungry to be great to your family. You got to be hungry to fill the day. You got to be hungry to fall in love. You got to be hungry for great sex. You got to be hungry for a good life. Everyone says, oh, that's too much, Brennan. Ambition, ambition, ambition. I'm like, oh, guess what? You have never worked with somebody who lacked it then. Because if you've worked with people who lacked it, you know that poison, you know those pools of pessimism that people drown in when they don't have it no more. You got to allow yourself to raise that ambition. You got to have it. You got to feel it. You got to hunt it. You got to allow it. You got to cultivate it. Just like trucks, you got. I'm telling you, if you don't have that ambition, you better get around it. And. And I know every single time it talks about this, ugh, there's somebody in the audience inevitably, ugh. It's just about money, isn't it? Or it's just about more. There's always gotta be more, more, more. I'm like, listen, you gotta understand, even the highest spiritual gurus in the world, now, I've interviewed them or worked with most of them or talked with Them, they, they always trick up on this one a little bit because that old school and like Buddhism, that desire might be bad. You know, that vibe. Except that that's not what they're saying. Because even the most spiritual leaders in the world, if you ask them, would you like to have a deeper connection with God? Would you like to have a deeper connection in your meditation? Would you like have a deeper connection with the universe? They always say, yes. Well, a deeper connection. Deeper connection means more connection, means ambition. You can have ambition to have greater depth in your relationships. Ambition is not bad. Many of you, and I really want you to get this, you have been caged financially, you've been caged emotionally, you've been caged spiritually by the people around you who set the frame for you, right? Oh, listen, girl, why can't you be happy with what you already have? Who's ever heard it? Why can't you? Why do you need more happiness, you son of a bitch? Because for some people, if they have scratched and scrounged their whole life, they've lived in lack for their whole life. Anyone around them who wants more is the enemy. Because sometimes when you are in lack, when you are in lack, your judgment goes higher. Often some people in lack, and I'm not just talking about finances, so don't judge me here. I'm saying people in lack, a lack in mindset, a lack in success, a lack in drive, a lack in motivation, a lack in love. I mean, listen, it's real. People who have a lack in love or lack in anything tend to have an abundance of judgment. You know, you all know somebody, you fell in love with, somebody, you were giddy and happy. You told your friend, who ain't got no love, and they are just like, whatever, good for you. And instead of being happy for you, when you found more or you found the right thing or you found success, they became critical and they told you things like, I remember literally one of my very first mentors, One of my first mentors, when I passed him, I passed him. I crushed this video. This video made like $2 million online. And it was just an unbelievable. For an online course, it made like 2 million bucks in seven days. I sent out this note to this group that I was in, including this mentor, and I reported the numbers. And I was just like, all caps. Cause I was like, I can't believe I did. I broke this goal. I did this thing. Oh, my God, all caps, right? Almost the whole group come back. Yeah, yeah, Celebration, Everything. But my mentor, who now I had broken his record came back and he said, I need to talk with you. I said, great. I'm thinking this is gonna be like celebration. We'll share learnings, we'll talk about next time. Picked up the phone and said, you know what? I got back. You need to remember where you came from. Now, who does that kind of stuff? Someone in the cage. Because often in the cage, you think, everything in the cage is yours. It's your territory. People in the cage become their territorial, and they don't have a lot. And so anyone who has more, they get mad at them because why should they have more? It's so unfair to me. Life is unfair. This is the situation. This is unfair. No one should have more. Those rich people or those successful people. And we project. Our lack becomes judgment to anyone who has more. Your lack of love in your relationship, in your marriage, sometimes can make you judge another happy couple. I mean, I've sat down at tables before where, you know, I was with a group of like, six, seven, eight people, and we're just sitting at a dinner table. We're all talking, having a great time. You know, it's like, the food's really good. The ambiance is really great. And there'll be a cute couple in the corner. And they're so cute. They're syrupy cute. They're holding hands. He's getting over and kissing her and sitting down. She's getting over and kissing him. And it's just like, you're kind of like. You're kind of like, ew, you know? And when I see that, I love it. Oh, my God, I love it. I think it's adorable. I think it's awesome. I just. I get so excited when Denise and I go on vacations. A lot of places we go on vacations. It's where people go for, like, the honeymoon. It's like their once in a lifetime trip kind of stuff. And we see all these honeymooners, and we're just like, so pumped for them, so pumped for them. And everyone assumes we're on our honeymoon, you know? And I was like, you guys are so much in love. And like, I know. We're like, ew, you know, I want more of that for you. Turn the person left or right, shake them and say, I want love for you. More love for you. I want you to hear me tonight. If you are judging other people for having more than you, you are somewhere in a mindset of lack. Well, the pie must only be so big, and it's unfair. They have it and I don't and when you do that, you don't know it, but you're conditioning the system to stop striving. Why even try? It sucks that they have it. Rich people, wealthy people, happy people, loved people. Screw them. They shouldn't have it. I don't have it. They do. That's unfair. It's unfair. I don't. And because your brain will say. Your brain will be very smart. Your brain doesn't want you to be part of anything. That's unfair. But if you tell yourself it's unfair that they have more, you'll say, then I won't even try. Because you don't want to be part of something. That's unfair. You all follow the psychology here. So many people stay in that mode. I did that for a long time. I thought, wealthy people, you know, I didn't know any of them, so when I met them, I thought it was unfair. Remember that kid from college? He had his own car, a new car, as a college kid. How unfair. His parents are wealthy like that. How. It's fair. And then I took a couple rides in the car. I'm like, this is awesome. I was like, I'd sure like a car like this one day. No judgment, Tim. I'm like, oh, I get it now. This is nice. You know who's ever flown first class the first time? Like, I get it now. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, okay, yes. Only this, please. This is way better. Anyone ever flown charter or private? You're like, oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. I totally get it now. Before, I was like, you guys eat too much gas in your planes, and then you ride it, and you're like, damn. Please. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring me some more of those towelettes. Okay. Can you have any more? I ate all the food already. Oh, this is good. They land. You're like, can I just hang out for a little bit here? This thing's better than my apartment. Yeah, that's what happens. That's what happens. The difference with successful people than the ultra successful, if you will, is they're not scared of this word. They are not scared of this word, even when they don't have it. Jamie Kern Lima. This is gonna be huge. Oh, my God. Do you get it? See, even with Growth Day, when we were starting Growth Day, I was like, okay, I know. Listen, for those who are in business, you'll recognize the pattern, right? The first two years of an entrepreneurial endeavor, you don't know what you're doing. The first two years, no matter how smart you are how many times you've done it. The first, the first two years are going to be a hot mess. That's the law of entrepreneurship. Hot mess. First two years, hot mess, then the next two years operational. You know what you do, you learn what your unique differences are. Now you're operational, you're in motion, right? Then the next two or three years after that, it's really about learning how to start scaling it. It's like, okay, we're going to start scaling this thing and getting it better. Then the next two or three years after that, it's, it's all about optimization and scale. That's what you keep doing, right? So I knew when we started growth, I was like, it'll be a hot mess. Okay, we'll figure this out as we go here. But I said this is going to be. Can you believe we got 2,000 people in a new state we've never been in ever before. We have never. I've never done an event in Austin, Texas. This is our first one. We got this hotel full, we got you some coffee, we got you some books. We've had a good time. It's been pretty good for the first one. You know everyone. Brendan, doesn't it scare you to go to a new state? Do you know how many people told me that? Doesn't it scare you to be back after your first event, after the pandemic? Doesn't it scare you and scare you? Listen, you only get fearful if you let fear precedes you and you think that you can't figure it out with other people. But if you have faith that you can figure it out with other people, it's not fearful anymore. It's planning. And now there's no fear. It's planning. It doesn't mean that you don't have concern, doesn't mean you might have the occasional emotion called worry. It doesn't mean you might get sometimes in the discouragement, doom loop. But it means over and all you go, okay, I'm a solution minded person. We are going to proceed with faith, with this plan. And when the plan falls apart, which it always does, we'll adapt, we'll pivot and we will keep going. The main thing is we will keep going. When you know you will keep going, then ambition is a safe word. You're allowed to have it again. It's not scary. You can be abundant minded again. And when you're abundant minded again, life feels different. Everyone, you heard Jamie talk about it, everyone talks about it now online, which I didn't Understand, like my groups, the groups that we bring together, especially particularly in my industry, you know, it's the biggest names with the biggest followers and we get them together. And we get together once, twice a year, and it's a big, you know, four day thing, but it's very private and it's a very cool thing. But as we do those, every time everyone goes around, at some point, someone says what Jamie said today. He's like, Brendan just saw it and just brings them together. I don't ask anything of them. We just get together. We all share what we're working on and what we are struggling with and what we need help with. Just like you've all stood in groups of five. We do the same thing. I do that in all my groups. That's all we do. Nothing fancy. Except the food. The food is fancy. I mean, I mean, for a guy that can eat a burrito every meal for the rest of his life and be happy. I mean, I mean, the food is fancy. The food is real fancy. And the wine. Did you know they had wine bottles that cost more than $500? See, I never knew that. When I was working with Oprah, we found out what her favorite wine bottle was, and we finished a course and we were celebrating. So I got her this bottle of wine and I already knew what the bottle was. Well, we ordered it and I found out how much it cost. And you ever, you ever know you were going to order something, you ordered it and you found out how much it was and you're like, oh, oh, okay. Well, that's a, okay, that's a. You know, you kind of had to grow. You kind of had to grow up a little bit real quick. You didn't know my buddy, his wife, I don't know if I'm allowed to say who this is, but my buddy, his wife buys all these shoes with these red bottoms and she was going on about these red bottom shoes that I didn't know. I said, oh, I'm gonna get my wife some of these red bottom shoes or something, I guess. I don't know what this is. And I went and looked at it and said, oh, oh, oh, okay. That's a, that's another level of shoeing, you know, I didn't know what, what that was. One time I was traveling and this guy took me and says, you know, I'm a professional dresser. I know there's a fancier name for that. Thank you. This stylist, I didn't. That was a thing. So this stylist guy said, I want to take you to this store. I said, okay. So we were in Portland, Oregon. He took me to this private store where they, like, do all the fancy men's cuts and everything like that. I'd never done that before. It was really fancy. So we went in there, and, you know, it was like. They did the whole suit thing and everything. I'm like, okay. I was like, ed. I had suits from Windows Men's Warehouse. You know, I didn't know. And the guys are in there, and they're measuring. It was like, two guys, and they gave me a glass of whiskey. And I don't drink whiskey, but they gave me the whiskey, and they were so nice, and they wouldn't let me. There was nothing to put it down on. So I'm holding the thing for a while. It's kind of awkward, you know, I'm coming out there, my boxers sometimes, and they're putting all these different pants on me. And I don't know what. I'm just kind of standing there with a stupid thing. And I was, all right, well, and we're there, and we leave. I think that's what they did. They did. They did. They could see that I was that young, this guy. And so next thing I know, I leave there, and I got, like, three of these custom suits, and they're like, would you like to throw in a shirt? I'll make sure which shirt matches, you know? And they're like, oh, this shirt matches it perfectly. This is what you want. This shirt right here, man. I was like, okay. That shirt looks really nice. Oh, yeah, they're okay. And then they stack it all up, and. And I'm sitting there, and I'm working on the second little whiskey thingy. And they ring it up, and I looked at it, and I was like, right into the cup. I spit it into the cup in front of them. And I looked at it. I go, this mug. This thing adds zeros. How much for this shirt? A shirt. I couldn't believe it. One time my wife came home, and she gave me this T shirt, and I was like, thanks, honey. You know, so the next day, you know, I come out of the bathroom. Some guys might come out of the bathroom. There's a big toothpaste. You know, I brush my teeth in the morning. The toothpaste kind of comes out sometimes. I don't know anyone else. Sometimes the toothpaste ends up on a shirt. Okay, there's some toothpaste on the shirt. And I walk. You got toothpaste on the T shirt? And I'm like, oh, yeah, honey. So I just grabbed the kitchen rag and I start, like scrubbing on it. She's like, what are you doing? And I was like, what? She's like, do you know how much that shirt costs? I'm like, it's a T shirt. I didn't know. So sometimes you just don't know. Like I said, we kind of at different levels of success, you start dumb, remember? And you have to skill up a little bit and learn. I didn't know. So listen, I'm here to share with you. Sometimes you just don't know. And if you don't know, it seems so crazy to have an ambition like that. Jamie just knew it was going to be huge. Did she say in her mind, that's going to be an exact 1.2 or 1.4 billion or whatever it was? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe along the way she got an understanding of the value. She just knew it was going to be big. And it was okay for her to have that dream because as she shared this morning, she had self worth. She believed in herself. And that was the gate that unlocked the next level of success and the next level of ambition. I'm here to tell you, you must be aware if more is a negative word to you, because if more is a negative word, you attach your capability to today in psychology, there's a fancy phrase for it. You've developed a fixed mindset. You don't believe you can grow into the next level. But in personal development, if you believe you can grow into the next level, you do. So I want you to have this ambition and I want you to raise that ambition for whatever it is you had a great marriage. Great. Is there another level of great marriage? Yes or no? Of course there is. And people will say, well, then you're meaning I'm always going to be dissatisfied because there's always more or there's more depth or there's more this or there's more abundance or there's more this. I'm always going to be disappointed. No, Remember what we learned in high performance research. You can strive satisfied. I'm insanely happy today. And I'm building more. You can want more with and still be happy today. Right? Isn't it true you can be happy with your kids today, but you still want more for them in the future? That's right. When you can get that, you're like, you can do that too. You can be happy today and still want more for you in the future, just like you want more for your kids in the future. And when you unlock that, I'm telling you, it is a huge unlock. It's how I started running with all the big dogs who do have the planes and the trains and the things. I mean, literally, they do. I know. They own their own trains too. It's some crazy stuff out there, let me tell you what. And so you just go, oh, okay, let me level up that ambition. Maybe it's okay. It's not about having more stuff, per se, so don't get stuck on that. It might be more love, more joy, more fun. My ambitions, almost all my ambitions in life center around more of the feeling pieces, right? I gotta grow in my business often to go there. But I want you to have ambition and I want you to allow that ambition and see yourself again as you see yourself in the future. Having more, being more, right? Because being more is ambition. I want to be more. I want to be more for my family. Who wants to be more for your family? That's okay. So turn the person left, right, shake them, say, be more. It's okay. Okay, now my favorite parts. I'll go a little faster because if we can unlock that ambition stuff, we're way ahead. Everyone say, I'm here. And say I'm ready. Because when you are ready, everything shifts. Now we gotta go to the next level of success for you, the next push. And this is what it's like to be in my groups. My groups will tell you that this is what it's like to work with me as a coach. Because when I unlocked this next one, it was like, got it. A lot of people don't like this one. It's required. So here it is. More successful people. Assert. It's a big word for a Montanan. Assertiveness. Assertiveness. Again, psychologists, you might think of this like personal agency. But I don't like just the personal agency because it's an idea, it's a philosophy, and it's a theory. The way that real personal agency is manifested into the world is a forward lean, an assertiveness, a take it on ness, a do the workness. That is what it looks like. That's what it's going to take. Another level of assertiveness where you don't avoid anymore. You approach, you assert your real thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, dreams into the world. When there's a problem, you assert yourself. Say, there's a problem. When there's a goal, you assert yourself, say, we have a goal. When someone messes up, you assert yourself, say, I need to give you some feedback that's what it means. And so many people have lost that forward edge of assertiveness. So the whole time they're staying silent. The whole time, they're being private the whole time. I'll bring it up with her later. And later becomes the cage. I'll address the problem later. That's the cage. I'll do the thing later. I'll build the thing later. I'll invest in it later. I'll do it. I'll join it. I'll make it happen later. And later becomes perennial. You plant the ground. Listen, you plant that seed of later in your life. It just keeps springing up all the time. It's like that flower bed that never goes dead in your brain. Later, later. Cause you know what? Later looks like? Flowers. Later is comfortable. Later is the comfortable life. The COVID life looks real pretty. But then when the comfortable life is no longer joyful, it's because there's a bed of roses out front. Your big house called later. And over and over and over again, you keep watering the later. And soon you over water the later. And those flowers become weeds and they take the house. And that's what a lot of people do. They don't make the decision. They don't move. They don't take action, even when they know they need to do it. And what mostly, I would say the most impressive people I know, it's like, you don't know about this. Jamie Kern Lima, let me tell you what. She's incredibly assertive. She will come up with an idea. She's asked me to do things or asked me to be part. No one's ever asked me before. And I'll be like, oh. Sometimes I go, that was pretty direct. And then my high performance brain go kicks in. I'm like, that. That's awesome. Oh, my God, Jamie, that's awesome. Shoot. No one's ever asked me that before, ever. My entire life. You know what she asked at this event? You know she asked at the event. She's like, can I have four hours on stage? Do you know how many people I've had on this stage in 15 years? Remember, some of you, you're new to my world. I've done this eight times a year for 15 years. Tony Robbins been on my stage. Wayne Dyer's been on his stage. Marianne Williamson's been on my stage. The late, great Debbie Ford was on my stage. Larry King's been on my stage. Harvey McKay's been on my stage. Brian Tracy's been on my stage. Jack Canfield's been on my Stage, everybody. Seven, nine billionaires have been on my stages. I've been doing this a long time. No one ever asked me that before, ever. How badass is that? At first I thought, what? What are you talking about? You know? Cause if you've done something, you're comfortable, every new request seems crazy. But you know what? Those crazy requests change the world. I want you to think about that. I want you to think about that. Now, we had already had an agenda, so that wasn't gonna work for this particular one. But she still got an hour more than she was gonna get because she asked, because she asserted herself. She goes, I want more time on stage. I'm gonna ask for that. Does that make her crazy or bad or awful? No. It makes her successful. Where are you asserting yourself? Where are you asking the big questions? Where are you asking for the favors? Where are you pushing? That's what I want you to do. That's your next level, and you don't even know it. This is part of the things I do with all my groups. Many of you guys know this. I even teach this sometimes in growth Day, that I want to make sure you finish every single Friday part of your Friday finishers. You make a bold request. You don't finish a Friday without an email going out or a voice message going out with a bold request. Find that person on LinkedIn, email them, DM them, message them. You think, oh, no, no, no. I need to wait until I have a million followers. I need to wait until I have 100,000 downloads. I need to wait until we hit 5 million. I need to wait until we Hit 50 employees. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Now, make the bold requests now, because later is perennial. Make those bolder requests sooner, faster. Get in it. Successful people are assertive people right now. When they're ready, they go over and over. And it is a difference maker, I can tell you. It's like, you would think that they're so. Like, sometimes you think they're breaking a boundary or they're bold. But remember, even Steve Jobs. Here's to the crazy ones. Think about that. Turn the person left, right, give them a nice shake, and say, you look a little crazy tonight. I want you to be a little crazy once in a while and allow yourself to do this. Hey, here's my question. Where are you lacking this? Is it your career? And sometimes I'm not lacking that. Go. Okay. Do you have any employees? Yeah. Any difficult employees? Yeah. Any employees you should have let go of five months ago? Six months ago? Yeah. Okay. You're lacking that. Hey, you have a good dream? Any big ideas? Yeah. How long you had that idea? Three, four, five months? Yeah. Have you done anything about it? Make any bold requests? Pushed it, Made it happen? Bought the thing? Invested? Gone? Yes. No, no. You're lacking that. And you're in my world. Aaron's like, what are you doing? As part of your coaching and our coaches in the room, our CHPCs, you know, I have this thing. It's like, as a coach, as a mentor, I'm paid to push. I'm here to push you into another level of assertiveness. Notice there are good ways to be assertive and bad ways. Right? Some people are very assertive, but they know how to communicate. They don't know how to give, they don't know how to serve. And that's the stuff we were talking about earlier. They're assertive, but they're takers. There's a difference. You learn to be in full of your. Like, really in full of your full powers. When you ask, you're okay if they come back with no takers. If a taker hears no, they're like, well, I knew he was a dick. Who knows what I'm talking about. Takers, when they are told no, they get mad, they stop trying, they get bitter, and they're in the back of the cage. But listen to Jamie Kern Lima. She comes out here, she says, guys, like, let me tell you, I heard no so many times. And she's smiling when she says it. It's almost like she liked the nose. Did you pick it up on it? She liked it. She was okay with it. She was like. And then, you know, that investor called me, and then she pretty womaned the dude. Oh, yeah. You know, she wanted to, but she didn't assert that. But it's so different, isn't it? It's different. Be more assertive. Allow yourself to do it. You can do it with grace. All you have to do is go. I'm not taking. I'm asserting. And if it's a no, it's a no. Let me adjust. Let me pivot. Let me go again. Let me be kind. I can receive a million no's. And don't think the person giving me a no. It's just I. I just. For me, I talk not the time, not divine guidance right now. Not supposed to happen with this person. I can keep trying, but I'll always try in a graceful, respectful, professional manner. But the thing is, I will try. I will try. I will be assertive, and I Want you to do that. Next up, practices. Sometimes we just got to look. We just got to look at your practices. We gotta look at your practices. What are your practices in your marriage? When do you get to work? How do you work the day? How do you manage your schedule? Like, what's your process? Like? My friend Natalie, I think she's in the back. She's founder of Boss Babe, and Natalie's. So. Yeah, yeah, she's like the home for the ambitious women. She's. Oh, unbelievable. I mean, like, literally, she totally gets this, right? She totally gets it. Home for ambitious women. And she has this thing, it's a whole operating system for her life, and it is so detailed and amazing. And I was like, yeah, okay, whatever. And I watched her. I'm like, dang. Her practices are another level. Most people don't have any practices because they're reacting all day. They're in defense. When you have more practices in your life, you're in offense, you are structuring life better. And sometimes you just need a coach to sit down with you. You need someone to look at your calendar. You need someone to walk through the day with you. Many of you have experienced this before. You got a professional executive assistant or a professional organizer, and you thought, oh, yeah, and I know some of you. I know some of you, you thought you did pretty good in your house one day, and then you turn on HGTV and you saw how those professional organizers do a closet, and you're like, oh, I don't know anything. Because their practices are another level. Who knows what I'm talking about? Yeah, I remember my wife and I did that. We did a fancy closet. We thought it was a pretty fancy closet. And then one time I come in and she got the popcorn, the wine. She's watching this thing. She's like, watching this. People who are professionals do a closet, it's another. And you'd think there's only one way to do a closet. Oh, no, let me tell you what. It's a gentleman. Like, what's he talking about? What I'm telling. It's other level. Same thing in success. Successful people, they've got better practices to make themselves feel alive. They got better practices for handling conflict in relationships. They've got better practices for finding meaning and fulfillment even as they're pushing hard. They've got better practices to develop skill and competency and growth. And you got to find them, get in groups with them, mentor them, take their classes, read their books, listen their podcasts. Who geeks out on this kind of stuff. I love this stuff. I'm always on the hunt for that, those better practices and I do all those things. I invest, I go to the courses, I get involved in groups. Like how I meet so many people. It's like I'm always trying to figure out what is that better level practice. Not because I'm unsatisfied, because I just want to live life to the fullest. Anybody else, I just, I wanna live life to the fullest. I wanna live life to the fullest with the people around me. And that is where this last piece comes in. The people who you are around, what we called earlier, your peers. I'm gonna make sure I underline peers. This is your environment. This is the people who you surround yourself with. This is the energy you are putting yourself in over and over and over in your life with your mentor, with your group. Because even just two days together, I wanna be honest. I want you to be honest. Did anyone here have in two days, just two days together in this group? Did anyone have in this large group in a two day period have a life shifting insight? Something that shifted stand up. If you had a life shifting insight in two days, let's go gro day in two days. Have a seat. Congratulations. A life shifting insight. And here's what I would encourage. If in two days you did not have a life shifting insight either. A, you're just one of those people. Like, I'm not standing up and participating anymore. Dude already made me hug four people. I said I'd hug four. I'm up to 10. What the. Seriously, dude. Or you're tired or your knee hurts, or you haven't been in a learning environment for so long that you find your own life shifting insights. See, I never go to a conference or a seminar or a meetup or a group expecting the stage to, to give it to me. I'm going to find a life shifting insight every day. Why do I read every morning for 30 or 40 minutes? Because I'm going to find something. And life shifting can be as simple as the simplest things. John Gray one time he wrote a book called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. And he taught me this. He said, brendan, when you come home from your trips, when you're traveling, when you're out to work and you come home, if Denise is at the house, because she does those things too. But if she's at the house first and you come in, what I want you to do, I want you to wear a watch. I go wear a watch. He knows I don't usually wear a watch. I said, why do you want me to wear a watch? She goes, what I want you to do is I want you to come in the house before you come in the house. Put yourself in a good place when you come in. And when you get in there, I want you to glance down at your watch. Don't let her see you look at the watch. All right, man. Okay. And then all I want you to do is let her talk at you for 20 minutes. Now, be very careful. Don't let her see you do that. But I want you to be aware of the time, and I want you to let her talk at you for 20 minutes. That's your job, Brendan. Let her talk for 20 minutes. You shut up, you listen. You're allowed to say three key phrases to her, but that's it. That's all you're allowed to do. Three key phrases. 20 minutes. That's the job. I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, you're allowed to say, tell me more about that. You're allowed to say, it's so hard. It's so frustrating. You're allowed to say, I'll support you. We're in this together. That's it. 20 minutes. He goes, you know what's gonna happen at the end of 20 minutes, Brendan? I go, what? She goes, she's gonna run out of gas. She'll have said it to you. She got to express. You were present. You listened. You held space for her. Instead of you coming home, asking, requesting, doing something, putting everything. She's the priority. She's the number one priority. You come home, she's your priority. You come, you're there with her in a loving stance, and you just allow. You just receive. You don't have to change it. You don't have to fix it. You don't have to accept it. You don't have to agree with it. You don't have to take it on. But you don't get to rebut. You don't get to ask. You don't get to push. You just take for 20 minutes. Because you being able to take it for 20 minutes is you giving for 20 minutes. Now, some of you will say, that's a life changing insight. Some of you will not. To me, that was life changing. Now, whether I do it, Whether it's the 20 minutes or not, I know most people in their personal relationships don't give that kind of presence. They just don't. They don't. So that was life changing. That was life affirming. Sometimes it's common sense. Be present with somebody for a little while, let them talk. But we don't do it, do we? So sometimes it's right in front of you. Common sense is not as common practice. But if you're not with the mentors who say those things to you, that's a higher level of practice. The reason I got to hear that from him. Cause we were in a group together. We were in a group together. He says, oh, you're married. How's that going? I'm like, it's going pretty good. I can't believe it. He's like, oh, tell me about some of your marital practices. I was like, oh, well, we like go on date nights and vacation and I love her. And he's like. He's like, okay, young man. And he just. He dropped about 20 of those life changing insights because I was in a group, because he had practices. Who follows this? Yeah, that's why I got to be here. I'm here because of those groups and those practices. And I would love for everybody in this group at some point, going through one of my groups or go through somebody else's group where you're just like, I got it. I understand it. And I think you need to get into a group that does these things that levels you up a little bit. Who feels that energy right now? Like, yeah, I just feel that. I feel that. Who felt that from Anthony Trucks today, ladies and gentlemen. Who felt that from Ed Mylett yesterday, Ladies and gentlemen, shout out for Jamie Kern Lima. Yeah. When you're in that energy, it's different. So turn to the person upright, shake them, say, get in some. Some good energy.