How to Be More Assertive

Don't finish a Friday without an email going out or a voice message going out with a bold request. Find that person on LinkedIn, email them, DM them, message them. You think, oh, no, no, no, I need to wait until I have a million followers. I need to wait until I have a hundred thousand downloads. I need to wait until we hit 5 million. I need to wait until we hit 50 employees. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Now. Make the bold requests now, because later is perennial. Make those bolder requests sooner, faster, get in it. Successful people are assertive people. Assertiveness. Assertiveness. Again, psychologists, you might think of this like personal agency, but I don't like just the personal agency because it's an idea, it's a philosophy, and it's a theory. The way that real personal agency is manifested into the world is a forward lean, an assertiveness, a take it on ness, a do the workness. That is what it looks like. That's what it's going to take. Another level of assertiveness where you don't avoid anymore. You approach, you assert your real thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, dreams into the world. When there's a problem, you assert yourself, say there's a problem. When there's a goal, you assert yourself, say, we have a goal. When someone messes up, you assert yourself, say, I need to give you some feedback. That's what it means. And so many people have lost that forward edge of assertiveness. So the whole time, they're staying silent the whole time. They're being private the whole time. I'll bring it up with her later. And later becomes the cage. I'll address the problem later. That's the cage. I'll do the thing later. I'll build the thing later. I'll invest in it later. I'll do it. I'll join it. I'll make it happen later. And later becomes perennial. You plant the ground. Listen, you plant that seed of later in your life. It just keeps springing up all the time. It's like that flower bed that never goes dead in your brain. Later. Later. Cause you know what? Later looks like? Flowers. Later is comfortable. Later is the comfortable life. The comfortable life looks real pretty. But then when the comfortable life is no longer joyful, it's because there's a bed of roses out front. Your big house called Later. And over and over and over again, you keep watering the later. And soon you over water the later. And those flowers become weeds. And they take the house. And that's what a lot of people do. They don't make the decision. They don't move. They don't take action. Even knowing when they know they need to do it. And what mostly, I would say the most impressive people I know, it's like, you don't know about this. Jamie Kern Lima, let me tell you what. She's incredibly assertive. She will come up with an idea. She's asked me to do things or asked me to be part. No one's ever asked me before. And I'll be like, ooh. Sometimes I go, that was pretty direct. And then my high performance brain go kicks in. I'm like, that's awesome. Oh, my God, Jamie, that's awesome. Shoot. No one's ever asked me that before, ever. My entire life. You know what she asked at this event? You know what she asked at the event? She's like, can I have four hours on stage? Do you know how many people I've had on this stage in 15 years? Remember some of you, you're new to my world. I've done this eight times a year for 15 years. Tony Robbins been on my stage. Wayne Dyer's been on his stage. Marianne Williamson's been on my stage. The late, great Debbie Ford, my stage. Larry King's been on my stage. Harvey McKay's been on my stage. Brian Tracy's been on my stage. Jack Canfield's been on my stage. Everybody seven, eight, nine billionaires have been on my stages. I've been doing this a long time. No one ever asked me that before, ever. How badass is that?

Hey, guys, it's Brandon. I'm jumping in here real quick. First, I want to make sure you've gone to progressmode.com to join the newsletter because I have a resource for you related to this episode.

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That's. At first, I thought.

What?

What are you talking about? You know, because if you've done something, you're comfortable, every new request seems crazy. But you know what? Those crazy requests change the world. I want you to think about that. I want you to think about that. Now we had already had an agenda, so that wasn't going to work for this particular one. But she still got an hour more than she was going to get because she asked. Cause she asserted herself. She goes, I want more time on stage. I'm gonna ask for that. Does that make her crazy or bad or awful? No, it makes her successful. Where are you asserting yourself? Where are you asking the big questions? Where are you asking for the favors? Where are you pushing? That's what I want you to do. That's your next level and you don't even know it. This is part of the things I do with all my groups. Many of you guys know this. I even teach this sometimes in growth day that I wanna make sure you finish every single Friday part of your Friday fin. You make a bold request. You don't finish a Friday without an email going out or a voice message going out with a bold request. Find that person on LinkedIn, email them, DM them, message them. You think, oh, no, no, no. I need to wait until I have a million followers. I need to wait until I have 100,000 downloads. I need to wait until we hit 5 million. I need to wait until we Hit 50 employees. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Now, make the bold requests now, because later is perennial. Make those bolder requests sooner, faster, get in it. Successful people are assertive people right now. When they're ready, they go over and over. And it is a difference maker, I can tell you. It's like you would think that they're so like, sometimes you think they're breaking a boundary or they're bold, but remember, even Steve Jobs. Here's to the crazy ones. Think about that. Turn the person left, right? Give them a nice shake and say, you look a little crazy tonight. You a little crazy. I want you to be a little crazy once in a while and allow yourself to do this. Hey, here's my question. Where are you lacking this? Is it your career? And sometimes I'm not lacking that. Go. Okay.

Do you have any employees?

Yeah. Any difficult employees? Yeah. Any employees you should have let go of five months ago, six months ago? Yeah. Okay. You're lacking that. Hey, you have a good dream? Any big ideas? Yeah. How long have you had that idea? Three, four, five months? Yeah. Have you done anything about it? Make any bold requests? Pushed it, Made it happen, Bought the thing, invested, gone? Yes. No, no. You're lacking that. And you're. In my world, everyone's like, what are you doing as part of your coaching? And our coaches in the room, our CHPCs you know, I have this thing. It's like, as a coach, as a mentor, I'm paid to push. I'm here to push you into another level of assertiveness. Notice there are good ways to be assertive and bad ways, right? Some people are very assertive, but they know how to communicate. They don't know how to give, they don't know how to serve. And that's the stuff we were talking about earlier. They're assertive, but they're takers. There's a difference. You learn to be in full of your. Like, really in full of your full powers. When you ask, you're okay if they come back with no takers. When they are told no, they get mad, they stop trying, they get bitter, and they're in the back of the cage. But listen to Jamie Kerr and Lima. She comes out here, she says, guys, like, let me tell you, I heard no so many times. And she's smiling when she says it. It's almost like she liked the no's. Did you pick it up on it? She liked it. But it's so different, isn't it? It's different. Be more assertive. Allow yourself to do it. You can do it with grace. All you have to do is go. I'm not taking. I'm asserting. And if it's a no, it's a no. Let me adjust, Let me pivot. Let me go again. Let me be kind of. I can receive a million no's. And don't think the person giving me a no. It's just I just. For me, I talk. Not the time, not divine guidance right now. Not supposed to happen with this person. I can keep trying, but I'll always try in a graceful, respectful, professional manner. But the thing is, I will try. I will try. I will be assertive, and I want you to do that. I want you to close your eyes with me for real, fast, and just put your hand on your heart again and tap it with me. I just want you to just close your eyes and say it again. Time to be more assertive. Time to be more assertive. Time to level up. Time to push it out there. It's okay to push. It's okay to push. Because I'm ready. Because I'm ready. Because I'm ready. All right, give yourselves a round of applause. You know, we're doing the work. We're doing the work.