How To Design A Successful Life (1+ hour class!)

Self mastery is making sure you're doing those things, otherwise you fall to your default. And most people's default is consumerism. Most people's default is like, I would just. Wouldn't call it inspirational. Most people's default is sometimes just like, oh, wow, you know, it's going through the motions. It's survival instincts. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that we were given this creative, beautiful prefrontal cortex to see and imagine and create better things for ourselves. We are not stuck in more of that reptilian brain that is only about reaction, that we can architect the experience of our life unlike any other animal. It is grateful to be here with you today to. To talk about the next decade of your life, baby. So we're really excited to have you here. It's my job today to help you reach that next level of high performance and joy and success and fulfillment in your life. But the big question is, how do I design the best decade of my life? How do I think through what I really want at this stage of my life and how do I get there faster? That's the topic. So today we're going to talk about what are your real aspirations? We're going to dive deep into how do you visualize a bigger picture for yourself. We're going to dive deep into how do you plan out projects in your mind, how do you think through what you really want and how do you achieve it faster. That's all the topic of today. Some of today will be knocking down the basics, and some of it will be just asking and posing a lot of questions. So you say, you know what? I got a good vibe of what I want going into this next year, which I think is really important. It's going to be an awesome session. What I want to begin this intention with today is a very simple thing. Let's make this. And let's just call it out. Let's just call it out. This is going to be your decade of mastery. Let's decide that. This next decade is dialing it in. This next decade is making big, bold moves. This next decade is achieving all of your life's ambitions in a decade. Now, I know people are going like, woody, you're crazy. That's not possible. But actually, most people's ambitions are achievable in that time frame. And what I mean by that is that maybe not the total scale of what they want, but the right direction and the right vibe and the feeling. For example, maybe you say, well, Brendan, in the next decade, I Want to be financially free. Okay, that doesn't take a billion dollars to be financially free if it doesn't even take tens of millions of dollars. I mean, lots of people in the happiness studies have found that you really feel as happy as you're going to feel in terms of your happiness and your finances once you're over 25% of, say, $75,000 in North America. Now, I know that's not everyone's ambition here, but I'm here to say it usually takes less than you think. It takes less than you think to be happy in your marriage again. It takes less than you think to get your body feeling good and moving good again. It actually takes a whole lot less than you think to enjoy your career, to make meaningful contributions, to feel good. Like, we often think we have to be a billionaire these days or have tens of millions of fans and followers. Listen, I'm telling you, a couple million followers doesn't feel that different than 100,000 or 10,000. If you're in it for the art, if you're in it for the contribution. So it's usually our underlying aspirations and values that need to be served and not necessarily the size of the thing. So when I say you can achieve most of your ambitions in the next decade, I genuinely mean that it might not be at scale for some of the things that people want to achieve. You know, I'd like to sell my company for $400 million. Brendan. Well, I don't know if that's going to happen in the next decade, but I know you can achieve financial freedom in the next decade if that is your focus, if that is something that you want, if that is what you build an architect toward, if you are a person who says, well, Brent, I would love to be known in this area. I would love to achieve that thing. I would love to open up my new store. I would love to move across the country or across the world. I would love to travel the globe. Look, you don't have to have crazy means to do any of those things. You know, most people think, well, one day I'll live in a nicer neighborhood. That could be literally in three months from now. And people don't believe that. And so they think it's going to take five, six, seven decades, when the truth is it's all about scale of ambition and how much we really want. And that's why instead of saying decade of achievement or decade of all your perfect dreams, I'm like, let's make it the decade of mastery. Because if you achieve Mastery in your craft, you achieve mastery in your relationships, you achieve self mastery over your emotions, your physical body, your mental and spiritual realms. Then guess what? Everything that shows up is either joyful and fulfilling or not. And so I'm here to tell you you can have more in this next decade than you imagine right now. And I'm not here to be your hype guy. I'm here to explain literally the psychological underpinnings of what makes that true. You can have way more in the next decade. You can experience more in the next decade. You can feel more in the next decade than you're probably imagining now. Because sometimes at time of year, you're just crash landing into the end of the year. You know, you're trying to get all your projects done, you're trying to get gifts bought for everybody in the holidays, you're trying to wrap up all those little tasks that you still have outstanding. And right now it's just stressful and it's a hurry and you're trying to get everything done. If you're here today, it's all about how do we design a decade of mastery? Because it is through self mastery that we gain the things we truly want. It's through self mastery that we become more disciplined. It's through self mastery that we create and cultivate the emotions and experiences we want of life. It's through self mastery that we're able to be more patient, kind, loving and thoughtful with people. It's through self mastery that we're able to discern what we really want. It's through self mastery that we're able to say no and set some boundaries. It's through self mastery that we're able to get ourselves in good health. It's through self mastery that we're able to get here in this moment when it's time to serve and, and feel good, find that positive aspect and lead well. All of it requires us to master ourselves. And I really believe it is through the vehicle of self mastery that you are going to achieve whatever your big ambitions and goals and dreams are. I thought I'd begin today with covering how aspirations really work with us. We got to go deeper in your psychology so you actually have the joy and the engagement in it. You have the confidence and, and you're willing to go for it. Because lots of people can say, hey, you know, just stop doing the bad stuff and start doing the good stuff. But you and I both know that's been harder than other people anticipate. You and I both know that there's Been plenty of times where you were sucking wind. You know, you got the life kicked out of you a little bit. You know, people didn't treat you well. Things didn't go right. There were failures and upsets and hurts. I don't know about you, but I had good friends pass away this year. I had major health issues this year. I had a tremendous amount of struggle and challenge. I've had a tremendous amount of challenges. We've scaled our teams and our businesses to levels I never even imagined a decade ago. I mean, 10 years ago. I can't say I didn't even know that this scale was possible or that I even wanted it. So you and I both know that not just this last year, some things happened that maybe you didn't want or didn't perceive or think about. I bet in your last 10 years, there was a lot of things that happened that, you know, it's hard to even calibrate to how far you've come. But you know what? I do believe no matter what struggles you've gone through this year, no matter what surprises you've gone through this year, no matter what the challenge of this last decade has been, I deeply believe that you are here in this moment for a reason. I deeply believe there's a serendipity to learning that we show up in the right place to learn the right things at the right times in our lives. I believe that to be a divine kind of thing. I believe I'm supposed to be exactly where I am, serving the people I'm supposed to serve. If you're watching me and hearing me live right now, I just believe that you and I are supposed to be together in this moment. There's a reason that we're doing this work together now. There's a reason that all the other things you could be doing. You said, I'm going to take the time for my personal development today. And so few people do that. And I bet you know some people who passed away over this last decade, and they're not here and you are. And so what I would suggest to you is immediately beginning this session with you and me today in a place of reverence for life, a deep gratitude for the fact that you have this breath and you have this moment. You know, I know everyone's so hurried, and you're stronger than you think. You've learned more, you've earned more. You've got so many new ideas, so many new lessons about life. But most importantly, you woke up today. You were granted with life today. And if you can vibe on that here with me. I think we're gonna have a great session today because you should never do future planning outside of the emotional experience of gratitude. Because you know what? You'll plan things that are money, status, fame and power, which are okay, but you'll miss the conversation about what's gonna be fulfilling. You'll chase things that are passionate maybe or exciting in the moment, but you might achieve them and go, what was it all for? That's not even what I wanted. And I really believe that too many people sit and plan things in a hurry, in a stress, in a just like, well, let's get this done. Goal setting session versus a standpoint of saying, okay, how lucky are we to get to do this work today? How blessed are we to get to do this work right now? Isn't it a blessing that we are here, that you and I get to have this moment together? So maybe you could begin, as we start today with just writing out a few things that you're grateful for. You know, could you just do that? Could you just, on a piece of paper, bust out your journal? If you're new to us, I always say, hey, when you come to these sessions, have your own journal, just your HPX coaching journal. And just start writing. What are some things you're grateful for at this stage of your life? Take a minute. What are some things you are grateful for at this stage of your life? Just start scribbling out. What are you grateful for? Is it your health? Is it the kids? Is it the career? Is it the opportunities you have? Is it how you've been feeling? Is it the luck of the new person you met? What is it for you? Is it your team, your family? Is it your mental status? Your state? Is it like, what is it for you? What are you vibing on? What are you feeling? I'd love for you to think about that. I'm grateful for the people around me. I'm grateful for this opportunity to serve you. I'm grateful for this idea that this time of year can be magical if we choose to show up with a presence. I always tell people, the people around you, they don't want presence like things, you know, we think they want things, you know, what they want is presence. Your full dance of energy right now with them, right here. That's presence. Being here now, but being here now in reverence and positivity. That's what I think we got to work on lots of people. Yeah, they're good at being here now and they're being mindful but they're still kind of in a crappy attitude. What people want from us is, is presence, that full engagement in the minute where we're having that dance of energy between us that is positive and reverential, meaning we have reverence for each other, we have reverence for our lives. And I'll tell you what, if all you got from this entire session today was like, you know what? I need to start showing up for my family, for my team, in the ways that I serve with more presence. That is a dance with the energy of the moment and that is positive and that has real reverence. I'm telling you what, that's what life's about. That's probably the difference of the next decade for you. For a lot of people, the last decade was like, ah, it was just like a march, it was a struggle, it was a fight, it was constant, like just battling and crises and just like, ah. And there was a lot of, from this last four or five years, a lot of negative energy out there, a lot of political turmoil, a lot, a lot of economic turmoil around the world, a lot of like the haves and the haves, not a lot of social media flair. And people just kind of are like, ugh. When I've been traveling this last couple months, I've noticed that, that the energy of the world continues to flatline, that people still are being pulled into darkness, people are still being pulled into the easiness of hate and the easiness of division because those pull at our base desires to be better than or to be protection. And that's not a socio political comment. It's the psychology of the human being. It's easy to be pulled into darker energy. It just is. And for many people over the last couple years, that's the thing. How do I enter this with a more mindful awareness to the moment, to the opportunities I have, to the ability to serve. And I think that's going to take a lot of practice. And I think that might be one of your biggest goals for the next decade. Because I really believe when I say self mastery to people, they always think discipline and focus and productivity. And I'm usually like, oh, self mastery. To me, from what I've learned from our high performance studies is full engagement, it's joy, it's confidence, it's a positive range of our psychology that makes us have reverence for the moment. So now we can dance together. You know, you ever gone to a party and you were in a bad mood and you're just like, I'm Just not going to dance. And another time you went to a party and you were good mood and you said, well, I'm going to dance. Well, isn't it true you were equally at both situations, you were equally bad at dancing. You know what I mean? It's like, I've done that. Go to a party, everyone's dancing. Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not in the mood. Another part, I'm in the mood, let's dance. But I still dance. I dance horribly. Many of you seen it. Well, tens of thousands of you have seen me dance. But for me, it's an attitude, it's a way I'm engaging in the moment. It's a presence. And I know maybe you didn't anticipate me to start this. And I know some of you are like, just show me what's behind the things. Brennan. Door number one, door number two, let's get going. But I have already shared with you some distinctions here that could change your life forever if you connected with what I'm saying. If you're writing down what I'm saying, I'm saying, number one, let's begin your planning process with reverence. There is serendipity going on here. There's coincidence going on here. There is blessings going on here. There is literal purpose happening right here, four feet from me in that lens with you. There is a reason that you are here and if you can connect with that every day. I got up this morning exhausted from shooting last night and I thought, wait, put my feet on the ground like Wayne Dyer told me to do. Said, thank you, thank you, thank you. And I reminded myself not, oh, I gotta go do this other filming thing. Here I go again. No, no, no. I get to practice my purpose today. I get to live in purpose. I get to show up in purpose. I get to trust that there is an absolute reason that this day is happening, that there is a knowledge, a force and energy, something beyond me that that is lined up all of the cards, all of the dominoes that you and I are here today. So if you can not just do that, don't. I'm not saying this just for us right now. I am saying this for how you are showing up each day. Do you know why life lost some magic? It wasn't because your finances. It wasn't because of your health. It wasn't because of who's in your life or who left or who showed up. It wasn't because your team is good. It wasn't because you got paid. No life Loses magic because we forget to bring the magic and experience the magic intentionally. We hope one day. What if you started living happily right now as whatever it is you wanted, you know? Well, Brenda, I want to be financially free. Well, how would that feel? What if you walked down the street like a financially free person? I wouldn't walk into the Louis Vuitton's and put on the credit card, if you know what I'm saying. But what if you just like mentally and emotionally stepped into how you already want to feel? You're waiting for 3 years, 5 years, 10 years to start feeling what you want to feel. What is up with that? Let me tell you, as somebody who literally is blessed to coach two billionaires currently, right now, literally working with people on a day to day basis, on a week to week basis on their emotions and their lives, from those big fancy people to people you see in the media, to just regular people who came from places exactly like me, challenged financially, not in a good place in family or relationships, not in a good opportunity place. And yet they're able to find that, they're able to connect to that. No matter where you are in the scale of whatever your ambitions are, the question is, can you connect to this moment and feel like you got it already? That's the secret. That's the magic. Having reverence and trust in this moment and bringing positive gratitude and reverence for it. I'm so thankful to be here with you right now. If all I do is put some enthusiasm on for you today, I feel like we've done a good job because so many people are like right now. And I'm here to say, nothing is going to break that for you that you're going to achieve. Outwardly, there is no status, money, power or fame. There's not. If I give you 100,000 new likes on Instagram, suddenly you're like, yay, I enjoy my day. No, it's going to be like cotton candy. It tastes good in a second. It's gone. Later, nothing. There's no, there's no meaning there. There's no calorie there. There's no fulfillment and energy there. I know you know what I'm saying. It's all about achievement of things. And they think that the achievement of things is going to give them the feelings that are available to them right now. People think the achievement of things are going to give them the feelings they want when those feelings are available. Right now, I can already walk down the street a more confident person in 30 seconds. I don't need to get my certification and my thing on the wall and accolades and fans and followers and a bigger bank account to be more confident. Because what I have to do is allow more confidence. I have to allow that to happen. To say, oh, look at these things I've been through that I have already experienced that made me smarter, wiser, better. Hey, let me pick up my shoulders a little bit. Let me put a smile on my face. Let me tell myself just to be confident, because I can do that right now. That you can forge your own emotional reality. And I mean, that's self mastery. So don't think of self mastery, just a discipline thing, which we will talk about, because it will be necessary for me, a primary part of my identity as a writer. I didn't write enough. I didn't write the things I enjoy enough. No one is to blame for that. Notice how easy it would be. Well, it's my team. Ugh, it's the Internet. Ugh. Everyone's so busy today. Ugh. I got so many events. Ah, all that travel. I can't blame my travel that I didn't write enough. I can't blame my team. I can't blame my responsibilities. I can't blame the business. No, I didn't architect the time. And here's the issue. Even if I didn't architect the time, I didn't architect the environment to feel it. Let me give you an example. I did actually sit down and write a tremendous amount, but I can't say I enjoyed the writing like years before. I was just thinking about this. I was talking with Denise, who many of you guys have met through Transformation Week. My wife and Denise and I were having, I think, a text exchange the other day. And I said, I figured it out. And she's like, what? I said, I've been writing, but I used to write with my headphones on. And this particular style of music, kind of like a jazz cafe type music, but not the cheesy kind. And that would be going. I'd have my hot green tea. And when I went into writing, I always made sure that I didn't do any work in the hour before. And what I mean by that is I didn't do email. I wasn't making presentations. I wasn't filming video. I was more like maybe wandering around the neighborhood or I was at a bookstore or. Or I would get up and I would work out and make my shake and then sit down. But there was no work in the hour before. The thing that brought me joy there was also, you know, closed out. I Also tend to write in small spaces, not these big, huge offices and houses and places that we have. I tend to, you know, like, I had little nooks and crannies I would find in a cafe or in many of, you know, I wrote life, school and ticket in my childhood bedroom, you know, which was probably all of like, you know, 8ft by 10. You know, enough for an 8 by 10 rug maybe, I think was how big that room was. I can't remember. Something small. And so I would get in a little place, I get my headphones on, I get my green tea going, I play that jazz kind of thing. And then I would just. I would just jam in bliss. I would just love that experience. And no matter how far I got, no matter if it was good or bad, I just love that I got to take the time to do it. Well. I only had like three of those sessions. What are some things that you really enjoy that you did not do enough of in this last year? Why am I starting this way? Because I'm doing a couple things and I'm not revealing why yet. But let me tell you the behind the scenes framework of what I'm doing with you here. I'm trying to be in a conversation with you. I'm trying to cue off a couple different things sparking in your head. So before we get down to it, we are opening gates of your mind. What do we open first? First we open the idea that maybe there's a bigger plan for you, that there's reverence, there's serendipity, that you were here. So write that down. There's a bigger plan for me. Write it down. There's a bigger plan for me. I should have reverence for this life. Write it down. There's a bigger plan for me. I should have reverence. Would you guys type it down? Someone who's a fast typer for me. Type it in the chat. Roll down the floor. There's a bigger plan for me. There's a. I should have reverence for life. There's a bigger plan for me. I should have reverence for life. There's a reason we're all here right now. That serendipity talk I gave you, that's number one, like, just like regrounding it in reverence for life. Two, realizing. Realizing that it's the way that we show up and choose to show up is the way we experience the world. Because I know as soon as you start talking about goals, everyone's like, I want, want, want, want, want, want, want. And I'M like, no, no, no, no. Feel, feel, feel, feel, feel. Because no matter what you get, you're still going to feel a certain way. So teach yourself to experience the feelings you want. Now. You want love now. You don't have to have all the perfect relationships for that. You can have that right now. Just like I talked about confidence, I can have confidence right now. I can choose the emotional realities and the ongoing feelings of my life by disciplined will, thinking, and allowance of those things. So I open up this conversation with you about a new presence. What was the last big thing I tried to open up for you? Well, I tried to open up this conversation in your head of like, wow, what are things I really enjoy that I didn't set up the environment or my life to enjoy enough of them? So for me, it was like writing. And I talked about how I can control that time in that environment, to draw that connection with a piece of me that is important to me, my identity as a writer. Why is that important? Well, what I'm trying to do here is opening these gates of mind, of reverence and gratitude and purpose of being here and present in the moment and doing more things that we love. Think about how amazing next year would be if that's all we did today. I didn't even show you the big fancy flip chart today. All you did is you woke up each day in reverence and gratitude. You decided to be more present, bring positive, engaged, joyful energy to the moment, and you decided to architect your life so that you could do more of the things that you really enjoy that mean something to your identity. You decided to architect your life so you could do more things that you enjoy that mean something to your identity. Whoa. What a different life experience that wouldn't be. See, that wouldn't be just about achievement of things that would be a new experience of life. I really, deeply believe that's what everybody wants so desperately. They just don't know it. So they're waiting for something to give it to them. They're on a continual hunt through the mall of the world, right? They're on a continual hunt. It's like when you go to the mall and you don't know what you want and you're just going through, and you're kind of like browsing and shopping and grabbing things, and you buy a bunch of crap and. And then you get home and you're unloading it and you're like, why did I buy this? It means nothing to me. Oh, that was a waste of money. That's what Happens with people, they do work well. Why did I do this? That didn't mean anything to me. That was a waste of time. And so what I'm trying to give you here is the great allowance and insight that is the ultimate of self mastery and that is to begin and feel the day in such a way as in which you have real reverence for this moment, you have real presence and you are more actively engaging in those things that you enjoy that mean something to your identity. Because listen, there's a ton of things that I enjoy, but I shouldn't necessarily do them because they mean nothing to my identity. Does that make sense? Like there's a lot of things like I enjoy, but I'm not going to give more time. Like I really enjoy jet skiing. No reason for me to architect more time when that happens. Cool. We do it. I, ah, great. But the things that mean something to my identity are matters of writing and teaching and contributing. But it's not just what you are going to do. Not just what are you going to do, how, what's the intention, the vibe, the experience, the emotion that you're going to bring to it. Because I'm here to tell you the one thing that I've hopefully pushed you guys for a long time, for a very long time, is this idea that a lot of people just go through the motions and they're not feeling the day, they're not sensing the experience. So yeah, they show up, they show up on time, they do a good job, they go home, they make the dinner, they get everybody ready, they go to bed and that's the night. But they didn't even, they didn't feel any of it. They didn't sense it. It was all task. I just coached a person who literally sold their company for hundreds of millions of dollars this year. And we were in this conversation and I couldn't figure out, like, how is this person not happy? I mean, I was literally listening to everything going on and they were traveling and they're doing things. I'm like, what is happening here? There's probably four or five major clients that I've worked with or talked to this year who just like, I was just going back to like, what do I know about human psychology? Why aren't they happy? It's because even though they had everything and they were doing everything, everything became a task. And when everything becomes a task versus something that you bring and feel joy from, I'm telling you what, doesn't matter how much sleep you get, it doesn't matter if you do your keto diet, doesn't matter how much money is in the bank, you ain't happy. It's going to feel different because you're going to change your orientation to the moment. You are going to bring greater awareness and attention and vibe to each moment so that you can feel it again. And now when you go to bed at night, even if you did a lot of tasks, you lay your head and you felt, you're like I felt this day. And when you go to bed, you're complete because you're like I felt today. I experienced today. Even though there was a lot of things through and it'd be easy to say, why blaze through the day? No, I took a moment here to sense it, to feel it, to set up something I would feel enriched or excellent by which we'll talk about. I had a different experience today. I know some of you had something like I have had in my life, which is like, you know, health threatening experiences, you know, accidents, you know, scary health diagnoses or you've lost somebody where literally you are the same person doing the same job the next day. But the entire thing felt different. You ever had that? I think a lot of people think they got to quit their job, they got to start the new business, they got to launch the thing, they got to complete the thing, they need more support, they need more love, they think they need all these things. And the truth is what they need and they desperately desire is to feel the day again. That's it. I know that for some of you joining us for the very first time in HPX coaching, this might not be a conversation you expected from me today. And some of you are like, well, you know, where's the tactical, Brendan? Breaking things down. But I'm here to tell you it's not about a tactic, it's not about a productivity seeker. We'll get to conversations of breaking down your dreams, but I am here to tell you that ultimately the dream, it's already here. The dream is already here. You're alive, you have choice. You've come this far, you have blessings, you have family, you have friends, you have people around you. You have unlimited opportunity. The dream is already here. The issue is you haven't felt it yet and you're hoping that something else will land on your shoulders or in your bank account or with the thing and then you'll go, I feel the dream. I'm like, you already got the dream. It's already here, it's already in motion, it's already the path. You're already 10 steps into the dream and you don't even know it. You're already 10 steps into the dream life and you don't even know it. You haven't even gotten. You missed the trailhead. You missed the trailhead. The sign that said the trail has begun. You're lucky to be alive. Trust the path. Enjoy the view. Bring your attention to the beautiful things all around you. Have fun with your family and friends. Like, enjoy this journey. And I really have to get that through before I get into any conversations about project management, you know what I'm saying? I feel like so many people are missing. They're like literally missing the thing that's right here. The dream is already here. And people. I know people. Oh, sure, Brandon, you can say that because you're rich, or you got this or you got that, or look at you with your whatever. I'm like, man, I've had this since I was 19. After my car accident, that was a reset. Woke up, decided the day wasn't going to be the same as it was before. I was the same kid going to same school, taking the same classes when I came back to school, and same people around me. But I change how I wanted to feel life. I wanted joy, I wanted vibrancy, I wanted love, I wanted connection. I wanted to make a difference. And the days became that. The days. That's what the days became about for me. That's my question to you. What are the days going to be about for you? Write that down. What are the days going to be about for you? Write it down. The days are going to be about what each day is going to be about. What? Because we get away from the things, the days that we want it to be about. Like, for me, I want my days to be out. Creativity. I want my days to be about the things that matter to me, which is my family, which is my connection with those who I love, which is my ability to do things that are artistic and things that bring me aesthetic joy, things that I'm proud of that make a difference in people's lives. If I get away from those things, I want the day to be about. You know what the day becomes about? Email, Instagram stories, DMs, you know, stuff. Shopping, Netflix. When you don't know what you want the day to be about and how you want it to feel, you'll consume everything versus creating what you want. And I hope this is helping you. I know I'm going in very tangential ways here, but I'm doing this in a very specific way today because I felt like my audience needed a talk, a joyful talk, a reverential talk, a talk about this time of year and the magic you already have that you already have. You know, so many people want this decade to be so different and I'm like, well then you better get different. And what's going to make it different? Well, we'll talk about some of the elements, but at the end of the day, how are you experiencing this moment? And if you feel like I'm hitting the same tune several times in this coaching session, you dang right I am. Because so many people missed it for the last 10 years. So many people had it one year, you know, they got married, they felt it for two years and now they look at their person, they're like, did you make me coffee? You know, they had, they did the launch, they made some money, they had some freedom and now it's just consume, consume, consume, consume. And they forgot to create and enjoy and even all the abundance around them. There's no happiness. And I just have to tell you that every one of us fools ourselves that the new year is going to be so different. Guess what? In next year we kind of got the same socio economic realities. It's not going to change that fast. Right? Our politics are still going to be troublesome, quarrelsome and divided. We're still going to be destroying our planet this next year we're to going, we're still going to be having leaders who lack integrity, we're still going to have, you know, banking's cheating and stealing people. We're still going to have, you know, all the traffic is still going to be there, you know, all the things, we still got to pay, the taxes. You're still going to like all this stuff is still going to be there next year. So now we have to say okay, those are going to be there. But what's my day, my year, my week going to be about for me now? Let me do a reset, let me find what's it about for me now at this stage of my life? What's it about for me now at this stage of my life? I hope that this wasn't too esoteric of a conversation for you because I feel like there's some gems here that could literally alter the how you experience next year, but also alter how you feel the rest of the day after the session, how you enter the holidays, how you talk with your family, how you think about what you're doing, how you just complete each thing as you're doing the thing, feeling the thing, you know, I think about something I witnessed growing up. You all know, many of you guys have met my mom at my events before. Call her Mama Bee at my events. And, you know, my mom would work side jobs throughout the year when she was raising us four kids as my dad had a full time job. My dad worked at the dmv. He's the guy that gave you the driver's license, probably sat in your car and drove you around and gave you the test, asked for your Social Security card and your numbers and things like that. And the guy that you usually didn't like the place you didn't like going. That's what my dad did. My mom, she was nurse's aide. She worked the front desk of a hospital. At one point, she was cutting hair and running errands. She did everything as we were growing up. But one thing that rings true to me this time of year, I remember growing up and we didn't have a lot. And there were the house that we grew up in, there were empty lots all around. There were empty apartments and blight. And it was an economically depressed old Irish mining town, Butte, Montana. And it was just hard. It was just hard. There's no other way to put it. There was a lot of violence where we grew up, a lot of alcoholism, a lot of bravado, a lot of fights everywhere. It was a tough place to grow up. But this time of year always brings back very specific memories. A couple of months, my mom would work all year, and what she would do is she would just save the money. She saved the money all year and she'd start shopping right around Thanksgiving time. And she would just try to make sure that she got lots of little things to put under the Christmas tree. So we felt like we had stuff, and we did, because she would save all year for that. She would sacrifice and deprive for herself just literally to get us stuff and to create an ambiance around the house that was abundant and beautiful and loving. And I remember one year watching my mom rap Christmas. And she was wrapping, if I remember right, for my brother Brian. And the joy and the care that she took in wrapping a gift was unbelievable. She was in such a good mood. She'd wear a big furry robe. I remember it being this big, dark, like purple blue robe. And she would. She would sit, she would go in her secret place in the house and she would get the gifts and she would set them out, and when she wrapped them, it was with so much joy. And she did it real slow. And I Remember standing there, I'm like, come on, Mom. Come on, Mom. You know, and she would just look at me, and she's like, I'm wrapping your brother's gift. And she was having. It was so delicate and careful and slow, and it meant so much to her, and I was lucky to get to see that, you know, I know not everyone has that experience. Growing up, while we didn't have a lot, I saw my mom engaged with what we have, and she engaged with it, and she brought reverence to it, and she was grateful that she had that gift to even rap for us. She was already visualizing how my brother would open that gift and how he would feel. She was already in that spirit. She was already working on the gift in the moment and feeling how it was going to unfold later, all simultaneously in the same exact moment. Isn't that a beautiful thing? That each moment we can be building the gift and unwrapping it at the same time? Because, see, what you're doing sometimes is you are building towards the future and hoping one day you get to unwrap that thing and pull off the bow and it's complete. And now, aha. I can be happy. What if simultaneously, you are building the gift and unwrapping the gift? What if you allow yourself both that reverence for the creation and that sense of joy in already being fulfilled? Like, I'm already fulfilled as a man already. I've been fulfilled as a person since I was 19 years old. So that's a little, you know, it's a long time ago. Let's just say that it's like I'm in my 40s now, and I think of how beautiful the last decades of my life have been that I've known. If I walk down the street and I pass out, I'm done on this planet. I'm good. I'm good. I didn't need anything else to happen to be a happy and fulfilled man. What if that could be true for you today? What if even amid some of the hurts, the incomplete projects, the broken hearts, the difficult relationships, the frustrating health situations, the bank account, what if even amid that, you could find another level of joy and fulfillment by simply focusing on that, allowing that people say, well, Brendan, I know that's. How do you do that? I go, you decide, well, how do you do that? You keep in front of you every day. That's why I do those intention triggers, you know, those things I set up in my phone where alarm goes off and three words pop up to remind me of Who I am and what's important to me. That's why I set up triggers on the mirror of the words that remind me of what I want to do in my high performance planner every day. Asking me, what's my message to myself today? What are the things I can be excited about today? I'm constantly cueing my mind to tell me and to remind me that I am getting to choose my self talk. That I am getting to choose my emotional reality in an ongoing basis that I'm getting to choose what to be enthusiastic about. I'm not special. I have to do that every day. People are like, brendan, you're so lucky. You're so positive. I'm like, I am not lucky to be positive. I work for that every day. Every day. I fill out this thing every day. I go in here, okay, here it is. Today's message to myself. Why did I put that in the high performance planner? Because I needed that. Because you know what my mind will say in the morning? Oh, God. I'm not a morning person. Oh, God, I hurt. Oh, my gosh. I got to do these things today. Oh, like, I can whine just like the best of them. But self mastery is disciplining yourself to set your intentions and create the emotions and experiences you want of life. That's it. So here's what number one is for those don't have this under morning mindset. Let me just give you. This is how my morning starts every day. I don't do this by accident. Today's message to myself. I say something positive to myself. 1. Then I go on this. There's this whole morning mindset section. One thing I can get excited about today is one thing I can get excited about today. Like, one thing I can get excited about. I do that every day. Brenda, how are you so excited? I ask myself, how can I be excited? How do you experience so much joy in your life? I'm like, how can I bring some joy right now? How can you stay so positive? Like, how can I look at this from the positive right now? I'm asking myself questions to cue that. I know you know this, but I hope that reminds you I'm not special. I literally have to do this each day. Otherwise my mind would be like Netflix. Like, you're feeding your mind cues. We call them triggers in our high performance work. Or you're just going through the motions. I'm here to tell you there's a better way. That's it. It's feeding your mind those intentions and creating the experiences and emotions that you want. It's just important. Everything I do is geared towards that. Like, literally from the clothing I wear. Like, I got my live love matter thing I got on here today. Today. I came into the studio with my live love matter hat. I took my optimize this morning. Sometimes you just survived the day. You didn't do it your way. You didn't bring your emotion into it. You didn't make that intention. You didn't, like, create that. Which is the stuff I'm talking about self mastery, baby. Self mastery is making sure you're doing those things. Otherwise you fall to your default. And most people's default is consumerism. Most people's default is like, I would just. Wouldn't call it inspirational. Most people's default is sometimes just like, oh, wow, you know, it's going through the motions. It's survival instincts. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that we were given this creative, beautiful prefrontal cortex to see and imagine and create better things for ourselves. We are not stuck in more of that reptilian brain that is only about reaction, that we can architect the experience of our life unlike any other animal. Let's take that lesson learned, okay? Sometimes, Brendan, you got away from your art in 2019. Let's not do that in 2020. Let's be more intentional. Let's set those projects up. Let's make sure we make that day happen. When we go to write, let's write. In a way we enjoy it. When you go to work, do work. In a way you enjoy it. You got it. When you're with your family for the holidays and you don't want to be there with them, find a way that you enjoy it. Otherwise, you know what you're doing is you are kowtowing and bending down and getting beaten by your lower impulses of weakness. You're not shaping your environment. You're allowing the environment to completely shape you. That's their fault. I feel crappy. No, you're an adult. Be responsible for the energy you are projecting into this world. You hear me say that all the time. And so I hope what I know feels like a roundabout conversation, opening gates in your mind so that when we go deeper, it's like there's another level of access and accountability that's happening for you, which is my goal today. I was like, I want to create an awareness about this vibe and this experience that we can all have. I want to create and open some gates to the accessing that in different areas. So we've talked about, you know, relationships, and we've talked about health, and we've talked about career, and we've talked about what you do each day. But we're also trying to get you to be more accountable and saying, yeah, I'm the one who is shaping this day. I am the one who's deciding if I'm going to feel the day. I am the one deciding what the energy is that I'm going to project. I'm the one who has that moment between stimulus and response to choose the freedom of my life. I know all around the world, you saw people dialing in. From all around the world, you saw it all around the world. We've got high performers out there trying to live the next level of life. Well, the next level of life isn't just the next level of achievement. The next level of life is the next level of feeling that is intentional, conscientious, and conscious. That's what happens, because we can give you all the stuff of the next level. Oh, you want the fancier car? You want the fancier home? Okay, cool. You want this to be paid for? All right. And you still show up. You're still the one who rolls out of bed. You're still the one that, you know, walks over to, you know, the coffee maker or takes your HPX better. You know, you're the person who is going through the day. Yeah, maybe you go to work in a fancier, bigger office, but you're still contributing. How are you contributing? One thing I'll talk about later is just, you know, on a wall somewhere, and you write, what are the major big pieces of things you want to accomplish? And you break it down into quarterly and monthly and weekly goals. I'll just say that quickly for those who haven't done that before. You should have yearly goals, and you should break it down into quarterly, monthly, and weekly goals. Work it all backwards. You're like, well, Brendan, I don't know what the goal should be. Write it out. What do you mean? Get a piece of paper. Write one through 52. That's week one through 52. There's 52 weeks in a year, and every one of those lines, you're going to fill in some goals. That's it. Well, I don't know what the goal should be. Make one up, because you'll learn in motion what the next goal should be. A lot of people don't realize you don't have to know the exact end outcome. What you need to know is the stream. What's the mission? What's the Sensibility. What's the thing that we are after in terms of creating or contributing, which we'll talk about in a moment. And then it's getting in motion. And in motion, often it's where the next step is actually revealed. So you might only need to know the next four weeks of goals and then you're like, oh, I find some more. But you should be filling it in at all times. So we're giving you a concept called the Battle Board here in a second. I think that will really help you. Then I'm going to come back, y'. All. I'll jump into this. That will really help you dial in how to project plan. But y' all enjoy this session on battleboard. We'll come back and we'll dive into your aspirations for 2020 and beyond. Hey, all, it's me. I'm in the office right now and people are always asking how I plan out my and get things done. And I have this concept I want to teach you called the Battle Board. And I really believe if you're going to do any major projects in your life or try to achieve your dreams, you need one of these battleboards. I recently talked about it in one of our HPX coaching trainings. That's where I go live every single month and teach you kind of advanced personal development concepts. So watch this training on my Battleboard concept and make sure you get one set up in your house and then share it somewhere that we can see it on social media, on Instagram or on Facebook, because I'd love to see what your battleboards look like. Enjoy the training. Create your battleboard. Create your battleboard. Right? Write it down. Create your battleboard. What does that mean? Here's what it means. If I could, through the Internet and show up in your house right now, could you take me by the hand and show me a wall in your house that clearly outlines and shows what you are working for and towards? Maybe you call it a visual vision wall, maybe you call it a mission wall, maybe you call it your, you know, your war room. But is there somewhere. Can you show me on a wall visually in your house? Not on your computer, not in your little phone, you know, not on this one little note that you tuck away and you hide from everybody else so they don't see what you're working on? No. Show me a wall with your battle plan. See, so many people don't break through and they don't break through because what's end up happening for them is so often they're in this place where, you know, unfortunately, the truth is. The truth is, they didn't have a plan, and they won't talk about it, and they won't say anything to anybody. And yet, if you get down to it, you start coaching, you start working with them, you find out they didn't have a plan. They did not have a plan. And so I think it's so important that you realize the value of having your battle plan. Right. So a battle board. What's a battle board? If I showed you your house, you would have a wall somewhere. Maybe it's a, you know, maybe you wrote it on a regular eight and a half by 11. Or if you saw it in my room, it's like I went to. I literally got, like, butcher paper, and I take, you know, some blue tape and I strap this thing. No, I strapped this thing on this butcher tape across the wall. And what is on that wall? There's 12 boxes on that wall, ladies and gentlemen. What's on that battleboard? 12 boxes. What's each box? Yep. A month. Each box represents one month. And within that box, what do I have written down? The goals that have to happen that month, the metrics that have to happen that month, the steps I'm going to take that month, the key activities of that month, right there on the Battleboard. Y' all got it? So. And I've seen a lot of these from clients before. I'll walk in, and there's their Battleboard, you know, and they might have a fancy one made out of burlap and text and beautiful Instagram. Ready Battleboard. And here's what they got. They got their mission statement across the top, and then they've got on there a reminder of the three words of who they want to be as a person. You know, enthusiastic, bold, present. Oh, I like that. Then they got the 12 boxes. Oh, look, in July. Here's the numbers they're trying to hit. Here's what they're trying to do in August. Here's what they're trying to do in September. And on that Battleboard, it might be the most simple things it might be in September event coming up. Okay, what are they doing before the event? Here's the five steps. Okay. October. What are they doing? They're taking the vacation. Here's what's going on. But visually representing your battle plan that's on a wall that you see all the time is so important. I cannot tell you how many people fail to do this. And I think it's unfortunate, because if I know many of you have been in corporate America before, if you've ever worked at the senior leadership level, they've got, you know, war rooms dedicated towards this. You know, I've had the blessing of being in the White House multiple times. I've had the blessing of being at NASA. I've had the blessing of being at some of the biggest companies in the world. And when I work with these executives, they dork out on, oh, here's what we're working on, Brendan. And there's a board. I just call it the battle board. And they're right on. The battleboard is everything they are working towards and moving towards. And I see that battleboard, and I know them and I know they're gonna achieve it. And I think it's important if you ever been a member, I know we have a lot of members of the, of the US Military here. Congratulations. And we represent and honor your service. And I'll tell you what, I mean, you guys, we respect you so much, but I love the military at this. They put a bunch on a board, everyone stands around, talks about it, right? In your business, I'm sure you got a whiteboard somewhere. But here's the issue. A lot of people have a whiteboard in their house, in their home, in their office, and it's empty all the time, or they use it once in a while. No Battleboard permanent plan for achieving what this year. So if you don't have that, give yourself the gift. Go get some butcher paper or big poster board, tape it up, get some blue tape so it doesn't rip off your paint, tape it up on a wall, draw a box. July, August, September, October, November, December, and get razor clear. What are your monthly or your weekly goals? What's going to be on there? What are you achieving? What are you working towards? Because some of you, the reason you haven't doubled your progress this year, your eye keeps getting taken off the game plan. You lose yourself in this. So many people listen. I guess the average person now picks this up over 80 times a day. They pick up the phone 80 times a day and look at it and look at it and look at it. But ask them, did you look at your battle plan for the year? Do you know where you're at this month? What's next month? And they can't even say yes. And you're like, this is a challenge. This is a problem, my friends. So let's get better at this. Create your battleboard hpx. I want to see this. I want you to create your battleboard in your house. No matter what you write on there. I want you to take a picture on it. I want you to put it into our Facebook group. We just call it my Facebook group, Brennan's Awesome. Students, if you're not a member, just hit reply to any of my emails. Ask my team to join our Facebook group. If you're not in our Facebook group for this program, get in there and post your pictures. Show us your battleboards. We want to see them right? Put it on. Put up on social media, on Instagram if you want to, you know, hashtag battleboard. HPXLife. Love to see your battle boards. You got to have a board up. You got to have a board up. How are you going to win if you don't have a board up? You know, I always loved if you ever visit the stock exchange, old school down on the stock floor and you looked up and they got all the numbers ticking across there. It tells everyone for what to pay attention to, what to do. Now, we've advanced beyond that, obviously, but there's some symbolism in that. And I just believe so many people. It's not that they don't even. I mean, listen, did you look at your goals every day this year? Every day. Did you look at your goals every day this year? It's such a simple question. Every day. I don't mean once in a while, every day. And if you didn't, my invitation to you is to consider the fact that maybe the amount of time that you're spending with your goals is not sufficient enough to motivate you. Maybe the amount of time you're spending with your goals is not sufficient enough to keep you focused. Maybe the amount of time you're spending with your goals is not sufficient enough to activate that unconscious brain that says, huh, I know how to achieve that. Maybe it's the reason you're not coming up with more ideas in the shower in the morning. Because you're not queuing your brain with enough representation, enough repetition of looking at your specific goals. Because when you look at your specific goals over and over and over and over again, day after day after day after day, it literally helps rewire your brain. And it helps program your brain to say, oh, let me pay attention to ideas, thoughts and feelings I have consciously and unconsciously that might be able to manifest these goals. This is why having a visual representation of what you are after and looking at it every day is so critical to all of personal development training of all time. But why is it that so many people still don't do it? They just get caught up more People look at other people's Instagram every day than they do their own goals. And we wonder why so many people are struggling to achieve things faster. Let's get you back on your plan. Let's get you back on you moving forward, because you're paying attention to what is necessary for your life, your goals every day. Best of all, if you have your goals. I appreciate a list of goals, but I'd rather see it chart it out on a page. There it is. Monthly goals, major activities. Got it. Mission statement. Okay. Three words that define who I am. Okay. My values. Great. Something up on that board that you look at and you go, there's my life. That's what I'm working towards today. All right, welcome back. I hope you enjoyed that conversation about a battle board, and I hope you will make one. My friends. It's so important. You know, I got a whiteboard in here for where my team and I, we scope out, like funnels and big picture things. And at home, I've got butcher paper. And you, believe it or not, this flip chart travels with me everywhere in the world. So I've always got pieces of paper I'm writing big things down on. I'm planning and project planning, I'm putting up on walls. And I hope that you will get more in that. Stop thinking you can manage your life from this phone. Start getting tactile again. You know, I don't care if you go get some butcher paper from the local art store and just roll it out on your thing and you draw it all out. That'd be a good thing. My goal is not to make sure you have the complete plan. My goal is write all this stuff down. Until you're breaking things down like this, it's really hard to create the final plan. What am I going to start? And whatever that list is, break it now into weekly, monthly, quarterly. What am I to stop whatever that list is, I also will often break that out into weekly, monthly, or quarterly. What do you mean by that? Well, for example, I'm going to stop doing so much of my own email marketing. That's not really going to happen for me until February and March. Cool. So there it is. February and March. Do less of this. Assign this, make that happen achievement again. There's that list. Break it weekly, monthly, quarterly. What are the feelings? Great. Break it daily, weekly, monthly. So, for example, like one sense of feeling, I want to make sure you do whatever you ascribe to what you're going to achieve. Make sure you set up time, celebrate that achievement or Time to feel that. As an example, many of you guys know I do eight events per year and these are multi day events. These are events that are between three and five days of me on stage by myself usually. And what do I do with that? Well, I make sure that I feel the celebration of that event. I make sure I recover from that event. I take care of myself. So those achievements also don't wipe me out. Because you know what? I don't want to feel. Burnout. Got me. And for those who, by the way, if you've not seen my latest. Yeah, my latest YouTube episode or my latest blog episode, or my latest podcast episode, make sure you go check it out because the latest YouTube was on my routines at my events. Like how do I maintain the energy at my events? If you've ever been curious about that, make sure you check that out for feeling. One of the things was I literally said I want to feel more focused and less stressed. I want to be razor sharp mentally creative, mentally sharp every day and less stressed. That's how I'm thinking, high level. Now let's get in the magic though, like the beginning of the session, the stuff that really matters. Because did you know you only have three goals? Let me restate that. You only have three aspirations and you actually have. You typically have six goals. So what do I mean this. If you've been with me for a while, you might have heard about this concept that I've been teaching through the institute called Primary Aspiration Theory. And it's a theory. I'm always still working on it. I don't think I've got it dialed in, but it's the most, it is the most basic thing I go to. When I feel lost, frustrated, overwhelmed, upset, off my game. I always come back to Primary Aspiration Theory. What does it mean? It means we only have three primary aspirations as human beings. And once we meet those aspirations, we feel so much better. So what's our first aspiration? Well, our first aspiration is being goals. Being goals. That means how do we show up and how do we feel? So let me give an example. The first being goal that we all have is a level of vibrancy. Vibrancy is how do we want to feel. Right. Every person on the planet wants to feel good. They want to feel good. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. They want positive energy and health. Every single person wants more vibrancy that more aliveness. Right. What's the point of life? Aliveness. Right. The point of life is not to feel dead all your life, to feel Tired all your life, Overwhelmed, frustrated? No, no, no. We want that positive range, that vibrant energy and feel of life. That's a primary aspiration of every human being, right? Because you know it. When you're sick, all you want in your life is to feel better. So what are you going to do this year? What are you going to start to do to feel more vibrant? You going to eat better, sleep better, exercise better, meditate more, adjust your diet? That's what I would say is the best way to think through New Year's goals, is not just to go, what do I want? You can have that. That's your achievement stuff. But also, what am I going to do to caretake this? You are the guardian of your energy. Who do you need to block out? Who do you need to protect yourself from so that you can have the highest level of vibrancy that you want? Because vibrancy is a state of being that we are creating, protecting, and generating. You follow, like today, when I woke up, I was not a vibrant person. I woke up, I'm like, you know, it was like, we shot a whole course yesterday. If you saw my schedule in the last four months, you would cry for me. Argentina. I bet we have someone here from Argentina. So that was cool. If you're from Argentina, I love you and I'm going to come visit you one day. I'm coming to Argentina, man. I've not been there yet. Anyway, I was not feeling vibrant this morning. So my first thing is I want to feel that. How do I generate that? How do I create that? So I know some of you go, like, Starbucks, but that's not me. For me, I get up, I'm like, okay, let me start. In gratitude, let me move my body. So I immediately start moving, right? It's just critical to my vibrancy. Just like, opening up my body and my movement allows me to gesture weird like this and stand in one place for two hours without going to the bathroom. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you got to move. So I'm like, I get my body in a good space and vibe every day because I know that is a primary aspiration. No one wants to go through their life and go, you know, I felt like crap the whole time. So vibrancy is both mental and physical, emotional and spiritual. So what do I do? Another way I protect that vibrancy is I do my high performance planner. I literally force my brain to think of things. I'm enthusiastic, vibrant, alive, grateful, joyful. For I generate it. I even asked the question the high performance planner. Who's somebody I could surprise today because that gives me vibrancy too. Okay, Other big thing that being aspiration. What do we all want? We all want to be proud of who we are. We all want to have self respect. We all want to be congruent with who we know we truly are. We all want to have personal freedom. That is that sense of authenticity and spontaneity to show up as who we truly are and who we truly can be. That's the stuff of character. And it's you being an honest, good person. It's going to bed at night going, you know what? I'm an honest and a good person. I am an authentic, real human being. Who I am proud of my actions and who I am becoming. That's what this says. I am proud of my actions and who I am becoming. I am solid in who I am. I'm trying to forge a character in life. I'm working on my values. I. I'm working on how I show up. Vibrancy is I want to feel positive, healthy, and alive. So we again have to caretake this, apologize for the things when you broke character, when you were mean, when you were, you know, not respectful, when you weren't honest, when you treated somebody poorly, like, you know what? I would highly recommend you finalize this year in forgiveness of others and forgiveness of yourself. A primary aspiration is to have the personal freedom that I am proud of who I am and who I'm becoming. And if I don't acknowledge the dark parts of myself in which I don't treat others well and I don't deal with that over a period of time, in the back of my mind, I go, mmm, I'm an ass. And when you feel that way, it's hard to now believe in yourself when it matters. It's like when you go, it's like if you're not developing character, what happens is you go to networking events and you feel like you're not yourself. You feel like you can't be yourself. You feel like you're faking it till you make it. And no one wants to live their whole life faking it till they make it. What we want to do is know that we are a solid, real, authentic person who. Who follows our word and is living in integrity with the best of who we are. That's the stuff of our being aspiration, that's a goal is to develop and refine our character, to forge a fortitude in who we are, that we can be proud of that's something you got to work on. So to have a better character, I bet you have to start doing some things. And I bet you have to stop doing some things. Stop telling those little white lies. Stop saying yes when you mean no. Stop apologizing for yourself. These types of things, and I'm showing this is because each one of these can apply here. Right. What do you want to achieve in vibrancy? I want to be able to run a marathon. Cool. That might apply right there. What do I want to feel each day? Oh, mobile, relaxed, comfortable, peaceful. Great. Like, each of these can connect with these on the bottom. That's why I drew it that way. What's another big aspiration that we all have? Well, that's our relating. Relating goals. Right? Life is comprised of who we are and who we are becoming the stuff of being and how we relate with the world. Like literally our relationship with others and the world. So our primary goal under relating is connection. We are driven by having deep, meaningful, vibrant relationships with other people. And when that's gone, our vibrancy is usually directly tied to this. Have you ever had a crap relationship that ruined your vibrancy? Well, please remember what I said earlier, though. Notice there is an infinite connection here, but they are their own thing. Like, I've had. I've been in relationships that were awful, but I could still maintain these two. Does that make sense? This does not dictate these, but it does have an influence. So we must be conscientious of them. What I would suggest to you is that one of our primary aspirations in life is a deep, meaningful, vibrant connection with other people. But guess what? If you're just going through the motions each day. Hey, honey, where's my coffee? How'd it go? Did you open the bills? Did you pay the taxes? Where's the kids? Are they alive? Okay, great. Did you get the thing done? Okay, did you fill the car up? Did you clean the car? You got laundry? If it becomes task driven, our connection is horrible and the vibrancy goes away. And then we aren't the person we want to be in our relationships. We start our character, we start acting like somebody else. Have you ever been in a relationship? You broke up with somebody and then you were in another relationship soon after and you're like, oh, I'm a different person with this person. It's because you change your relationship goals, your connection goals. You wanted to be more of who you are with that person. And when we are unhappy in life, it's because we are not being who we want to be with that person. But what we want is a deeper connection with others. And that requires us to be deeper and truer to ourselves, but also to honor and respect the depth and the truth of other people. You want a good connection, support their vibrancy and character. You want a good connection, support their good feelings, their good vibes, support them doing their own thing, being their own person, having a good life. That's part of why this is its infinite loop. Relating aspirations come down to connection. Many of you have connections, but you haven't dived deep for a while. You haven't even talked to your spouse for an hour at dinner, except about the kids or the finances. But you don't know how they really feel about the day to day. You don't know what they want. You don't know where they want to go. You don't know what's in their heart and their soul. So most of us actually have the connections we need for a completely fulfilling and vibrant life. But we never dive into those relationships. We kind of like patter around tasks versus jumping into somebody's heart and feeling their body and feeling them. And so it's about you realizing like you desperately want this more than you think. You want this connection with others as deeply as you want to be proud of who you are. You want this as deeply as you want to feel good. And isn't that true? Because isn't it true that once in a while you've compromised this to have that? That's why I call this primary aspiration theory. It's heavy stuff and why we draw it as an infinite loop. Because these things connect to each other. I've been in relationships when I was like in high school and early college where, you know, my connection with other people, I wasn't who I really was. I would compromise this to fit in there. So you better be really aware. The goal is have all of them. And one way to have all of them is understand this commingling where hey, you want deep connection with other people. Allow them, spur them, support them in developing a more vibrant life that's uniquely their own. Another primary aspiration that we have is our relationship to the world through contribution. Contribution itself is not some island of human need. Contribution is not something we just do at work. Contribution is a primary way in which we relate to the world. Like we sense a lot of us, we sense not only our value, but our joy in the relationship with the world by the things that we contribute, the work that we do, the mission that we follow. The purpose that we serve, the things that we do each day, the way that we contribute to other people's lives. Right. The primary ways that we relate with the world are what we do and our relationships with other people. And these also co mingle. Right. When we are doing. When we're giving, but we're not giving things that are authentic to us. We're miserable when we are giving, but we're not enjoying the experience to bring the joy. We're miserable when we are giving, but we're giving so much to connection that is stealing from us. We're miserable. So all these things have a dynamic interplay, and that's what makes psychology so fascinating. That's why I call this primary aspiration theory. It's like these are primaries, man. No one doesn't have these. Every human being has a desire to contribute something. They might not call it that. They might just have a need to produce, to get things done. They might have the. No, Brandon, I don't have that. I just want to create my unique art. I'm like, for who? For what purpose? Well, it ultimately comes back to I want to create something. Right. Contribution. A unique contribution that is called your art. Your art is a contribution, whether you see it as a connection with others or not. It is your way of relating to the world. Right. Music. A lot of people don't make music for other people, but they're making music because it's their relationship with the world. It's their way of communicating and relating. This is one thing I think has made my career really powerful in coaching people who are at that high level of artistry in their life is. I understand that their artistry is. Their relating with the world might not be with one person that they're trying to connect with, but their artistry, their craft is their relationship with the world, is their processing of the world, is their experience of the world. And if you yank that craft, that creativity, that artistry away from them, they feel displaced in the world. And I share that because I learned that about myself this last year as I shared at the top of the hour. I wasn't writing enough, and I felt like there's a part. There's something. There's some kind of vibrancy missing in my life. What is that? And if I didn't have this model, I would have never. Oh, I love so many of my contributions. But one of the way I relate with the world and I process the world is through writing. I didn't do enough of that this year artistically. Got it dialed that thing in. So I hope this helps you because, listen, I know people go, well, Brendan, this is all nice, man, but I. I just want a Ferrari this year. I'm like, okay, we have to start doing some things to get that Ferrari. You have to stop doing some things. You have to achieve some money and you have to feel real good on the process if you're ever going to get that. But guess what you really want once you have the Ferrari, everything here. Because people who have Ferrari and they don't know how to manage their emotional, physical, spiritual state to feel good, are miserable. And they usually cut you off in traffic just saying. They also become somebody who they aren't proud of if they don't carefully choose the right things to earn that kind of level of revenue. They can also blow through their relationships. They can also contribute nothing. But they can get. And all of a sudden they're miserable. They got, but they didn't contribute because that giving has to happen. So why do I share all this? Well, there's this interplay. Remember I told you there's three primary aspirations? So think of one is being, two is relating, and three is this interplay in the middle of growing our growth goals, right? We all want to grow and have greater. Like one element of growth in life is greater in this, says enrichment. If you can't read it, we want to enrich our life growth. Often we think of growth as expansiveness, right? But growth is often depth. It's enriching things, right? You already got the kids. Now the job is to enrich that relationship. The growth in that relationship is by enriching that relationship with more good energy, more of who you are, deeper levels of connection, and more giving in that relationship than just taking or transacting. Does it make sense these all things flow together? I can tell you right now, if you have everything you're supposed to have and you're like, Brennan, oh my God, I have everything I'm supposed to have. I've got the house, I've got the car, I've got the achievements, I've got the recognition. Even people like me, they even follow me, but I don't feel good. You're not learning to enrich the moment just like that first hour you and I shared together. You're not enriching the moment with being and presence. Your mind is task driven, which is okay, but we equally have to be spiritually connected to the moment to enrich the moment. Because isn't it true you've probably had some holiday parties and dinners where everybody There the same people were there and one year it meant nothing and another year it was rich and full. What was the difference? Better wine maybe, but no. What happened was that you decided you were in a different place. You have reverence for life and you decided to slow down the moments and take people in. Growth is often enriching our lives. Enriching our lives from a standpoint of presence. Enriching our lives from a standpoint of abundance. Enriching our lives from a sense of meaning. Right? Think about that. Enriching our lives from meaning and abundance and presence. If you've ever heard me teach this, I guess most of you guys haven't actually. But what I do with a lot of my higher level coaching clients, these are like quarter million dollar and above type people is I call that the map, meaning abundance and presence. If I can dial that in, that's what I mean by enrichment. Okay, Enrichment, the map that we're all really seeking is a map of meaning in which I'm trying to understand and feel my life more. I want my life to be more rich with vibrancy and moments. The A is abundance. Enrichment, like to enrich your family can mean to have more abundance for them, but it's also an abundant level of thinking and feeling. Enrichment, often in growth means higher levels of generosity. Like I'm going to have more richness around me by not taking, but actually being more generous. Being more generous with my presence and energy and wealth and finances and creativity and tools and systems and assets. Whatever it is for you that you enrich the world. And the more you enrich the world, the more you feel like you're growing in spirit. It's funny because we often think the more that we give, the more we're depleted. And yet from a spiritual principle, the more that we give, the more that we grow right back. Give and you shall receive. That's the stuff of growth and enrichment. And then the last piece that's so critical is the human drive for excellence. You get to choose. Are you going to become excellent at something or are you going to keep kind of like dabble here? Right, you're supposed to get the course done. Now you kind of. Or you're going to. I'm going to create a world class course. Oh, you know, I'm supposed to learn this language. I do duolingo for five minutes once every nine years. Or no, I'm going to dive deep into this and enrich this experience and become excellent at it. The real truth is the happiest people in the world have attained mastery at something, they've attained excellence or they're on that journey. And because they're on that journey and it's unique to them, it brings them vibrancy. Because seeking excellence and seeking to enrich the world, what does it do? These two things improve our relationships, and these two things experience our sense of life. So I promise, no matter what you write, I promise you without question that right there in the surprising truth in your soul is you want these things. And so how could you get them? How could you create them? I hope that you have drawn out this little picture here or take a screenshot, because I'm here to tell you this is actually what you want. I know people go, no, Brendan, you know, I want vacations. I'm like, okay, why do you want vacations? You probably want vacations because it's going to make you feel alive. And the people you're going to take that vacation with is going to bring you more connection in life and it's going to enrich your experience of the world. Oh, bang. I just hit all three. Awesome. I want that vacation because I feel like I'm being. I'm living life. I'm relating with others well, and I'm doing something that's enriching life. One, two, three. These all have an interplay. Well, no, no, no, Brendon, what I really want is, you know, I just want a bigger house. Okay, why do you want a bigger house? Well, because I'll be proud of myself that I achieved it. I'll feel more alive there. And the truth is, my life will feel more enriched. My family will be happier in that house. Oh, okay. It's not about the house then, is it? It's not about the car then, is it? It's not about the vacation, is it? It's not about the money, is it? It's not about the things in life, like I said in the first hour. It's about these aspirations that we are hoping to touch upon. And I'm here to tell you, if any of them get away from you, it can throw off the whole boat. And so your job is to be attentive to them. I had to ask. I'm like, why don't I feel as vibrant? And I said, well, is it because of my character? Is it because I'm not doing this or this? And I said, oh, it's because I haven't felt as vibrant this last few months because I have not been doing my unique contribution as a writer. Oh. Because when I'm writing, I feel My connection with the world. I feel like I'm doing craft. I'm excellent at it. I'm enriching the world with the words and the meaning of this thing. I just feel like that's who I am. Got it. I was missing that, and it was affecting all things. You know, when someone says brennan, I don't know why. I just don't have any goals. I don't know why. I used to be a bigger dreamer. I used to have ambition. I'm like, you know what? We got to shore up a few areas here. When we shore up a few of these areas, this dances. And remember, this is called primary aspiration. When you improve each of these areas, your aspirations enlarge. Like there's a generous spirit, the holiday spirit, the new year spirit. Something comes in when you're more aware of these and you're doing. You're stopping the things that are hurting that you're starting new things. You got your list of achieving, you know how you want to feel. And now you proceed. Intentional, present, deeply meaningful, because you know what matters to you the most. These primary aspirations. I hope that has served you in this session. I love you guys for showing up today to be excited about this time of year. Because this decade is. Is going to be a decade of self mastery. What is self mastery? It is understanding our primary aspirations and diving deep into these things so that we can enrich our lives and enrich the lives of other people. It's going to be the greatest decade of your life. You're going to learn to master your mind and your emotions and your body. You're going to master all the things we write about in the High performance planner. You're going to master your stuff, your craft, the things that you give. And you and me, my friend, we're going to do it together. A community. So for those who are here with us today, I want to imbue you with good, positive energy. I love you and I support you and I honor the fact that you care about your personal development. Let's charge in there. Ready? Let's charge in there. Excited. And let's make sure every single day we remember what we truly want and forge the life that we want and feel the day again. I know you can, and I know we will do it together. Thanks, everybody, for your time here today. I celebrate you. Until next time, every single day of your life. Go out there, live fully, love openly, and go make a difference today. Hey, it's Brendan. I just want to thank you for watching my channel. There's so many other teachings and trainings on this channel, so please enjoy. Thanks for being here. Also, for those who want to go to another level, I have an upcoming Certified High Performance Coach Certification Week. This is where I teach you and certify you to become a world class Life Coach. We call them Certified High Performance Coaches. You can click the link in the description right now to apply and to learn about our upcoming Certification week. If you want to go to another level as a Life coach and you want me to certify you and help you, make sure you click that link and take advantage of it right now. Enrollment is open today.