How to Feel Alive Again

Many people grow up and they don't have emotional expression around them. And if they don't learn how to do it, then they get bored and they don't feel aliveness. There's no adventure or pop. Vibrancy, presence, enthusiasm, you call it whatever you want, passion, I don't care what you call it. If that is absent, that person who doesn't know how to express themselves emotionally, as soon as that builds up too long, bam. They move. Bam. Cheat, Bam. Steal, Bam. Bad deal. And it was like that came out of nowhere. I mean, I can't believe he did that. She did that. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. They didn't know how important it was to build aliveness in along the way. Here's what everyone wants after they have, let's just say, some sustenance or safety. Let's just. Can we assume those two things? Right, Right. You, you have a house or a place to stay and you have some food. Let's just start with that. But what we want is human beings. We want as human beings after those things. The first thing we want is aliveness. And you heard this message throughout the day. It's why I had Ed talk about it today, especially the story of his father. That and I shared a phrase with you. I'd love for you to write down and really get in your bones what most successful people want that they don't know that is. They just want to feel the day again. They want to feel that aliveness. You might use different words. Okay, so let's walk down some of these words. Okay, Maybe you say what I want, Brendan, I want vibrancy. Write that word down. What does aliveness mean? Some people say, brendan, I want passion. Some people say, I want enthusiasm, I want excitement. Some people say, I want energized health. What is it for you but aliveness? There's something there. It's a mindset, it's a physical thing, it's a spiritual thing. You all know it. Sometimes you had too much caffeine and you're just flying and flowing. You feel great and then you crash later on. You know what I'm talking about, right? But aliveness, when you have it, it's like what Ed was talking about. When you're on that roller coaster and you're going up and you're excited at the top about the fall before you get scared that like, woo, you know, that little pop. That's what I'm talking. It's the pop. Everyone say the pop. You want the pop. You want that. You want life to pop a little bit, you know, when it's too boring for too long. Now you get into those stories that they call it. Well, that's the midlife crisis he's having. No, he feels bored. Well, what's wrong with him? He had everything. He had all success. He had a woman who loved him. He had kids. He had a good job. He had a good career. He must have had a midlife crisis. He. He didn't have no crisis. There was no crisis. We think it's a crisis. No, it was a slow burn to boredom. It was a slow. If you don't call it boredom, that's okay. It was a slow burn to disconnection. And if you're not bored, notice the other language I use, detached. Detached means you don't feel the day. You don't. You don't feel the connection with the other, with the partner or the spouse. You don't feel the energy or the emotion. You're just kind of like. You might be high performing, but you're detached from it. You're distant from it. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? It's like you're going through the motions, but you're not there. There's a lack of presence or vibrancy or pop in the moment. There's aliveness. So some people, they seek. I can't feel it, Brent. So they seek aliveness through addiction, through alcohol, through drugs, through some type of thing that makes them feel alive again. Some of them, it's adventure. They got to jump off that cliff or ride those roller coasters. They need something to bring back life to them. And many people, because they don't have any personal development practices or spiritual practices to do that. What they do is they seek it out through things that are ultimately destructive. I want you to all be really aware if you are a hard driving, assertive, aggressive, driven person, you need to pay attention when boredom or disconnection comes into your life. Cause when those happen for too long, that energy gets pent up and it keeps building. And you don't even know. And like a pipe, you're gonna burst and everyone's gonna say you went crazy. But it's a slow burn to that moment. And then, bam. You don't even know it. And you do something irresponsible. You cheat, you cut a corner. You make that cheap deal you knew you should have sold there. You make a bad decision because you were bored or disconnected. Is this helpful to anybody? I'm telling you, it explains so much in Human behavior. And what you didn't know is you were just after aliveness, but you didn't know that's what it was called. You didn't know that. And a lot of people, especially guys like where I was raised, they never learned emotional vitality. You know, I grew up in a place. I don't know about you all. Did anyone grow up in a place where you didn't have a lot of like emotional intelligence and expression? Anyone? I always tell the joke. Like I grew up in a place where most dudes were like this. That's happy. And when they talk, they talk at you like this. Straight at you, talk at you. Uh huh. Yeah. All right. And if they raise this hand, if this hand comes above the belt, it means you're about to get smacked in the face, right? No, I mean, no, I mean, if that hand came up, you were getting punched. Where I grew up, grew up fighting my whole life. So I have two black belts. I had to learn how to take care of myself. Like I was grew up in a really tough place. But that's what happens. Many people grow up and they don't have emotional expression around them. And if they don't learn how to do it, then they get bored and they don't feel aliveness. There's no adventure or pop. Vibrancy, presence, enthusiasm. You call it whatever you want, passion. I don't care what you call it. If that is absent, that person who doesn't know how to express themselves emotionally, as soon as that builds up too long, bam. They move. Bam. Cheat, Bam. Steal. Bam. Bad deal. And everyone's like, that came out of nowhere. I mean, I can't believe he did that. She did that. I can't believe, I can't believe it. They didn't know how important it was to build aliveness in along the way. Do you know if you build aliveness into your marriage, into your relationship on a consistent basis as a practice, as a. You don't cheat as much. I'm talking about the research, not you specifically. Those who have personal development practices in committed relationships. Cheat less. Is that a better way to say it for y'? All? So think about it. It's like. But you think it has to be some big vacation or something. No, no, no. You gotta build that stuff in onto the daily. You gotta access something that makes you feel alive. This is what I'm telling you. The most successful people in the world I work with, they think they bring me in for one reason. And I go, oh, you don't feel life anymore? And they're like, yeah, that's it, man. Yeah. Wow. So I'm just giving you the answers in advance. The answers in advance is you want aliveness, so you gotta build that in. What's gonna make you come alive. I want you to write that down right now and throughout this weekend. What's gonna make you feel like that sense of aliveness, that sense of pop, adventure, passion, hobby, time to break hanging around higher level people, getting around the energy you're experiencing here. Cause who's having a good time at growth day? Ladies and gentlemen, aliveness. What's the word? Oh, you don't know how bad you need that until you date somebody dead. You know what I'm saying? You ever go on a date with someone and you're like, like afterwards, someone's like, how was he? Or she or they or whatever. And you're like, man, it was the worst. They were so boring. They were like dead. And your friend's like, that bad? And you're like, oh, it was awful. And a lot of the world is there right now because they're in resentment. And sometimes people in the back of the cage look really bored, but they're not. They're resentful and bitter and they feel alone. And so we gotta bring them back and we gotta rattle a little bit and we gotta get them around to different quality people. We gotta put them on a different chessboard. We gotta get around people like. Like the person to your left or right who's got a little pop, a little energy. And when you're around the right people and your community is like that, you're like, woo hoo hoo. It's like, how are you so energized, Brennan? I'm like, I don't have any jerks around me. The people around me, they got good energy. The people around me are like, you and you and you and you guys. I got so much joy. Like, how do you have so much joy? I'm like, I'm around joyful people. How are you so high performing? I'm like, I like high performing people. I gather them, we get in groups, we hang out, we do this kind of stuff, this kind of energy. Some people will make fun of this kind of energy. I'm like, go hang out with the opposite then and tell me what that's like. Because that's not what we're after. We're after. What's this word, Linus? What are your practices? To feel it every day, Every day. You got to find it in the simplest of things. Everything you do can improve by putting a practice in for aliveness.