How to Have Patience Pursuing Your Dream

Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard, and.

Welcome to another episode of the Brendon Show.

You get so many messages from people saying, brendan, I'm just losing my patience for my dream. You know, I'm working, I'm struggling. I'm not breaking through. I'm not earning the money or seeing the progress. And it's bothering me. And I know that that happens for all of us is we're chasing a big dream. It never comes, like, overnight, right? There's no such thing as an overnight success. It is usually a lot of people who've been very, very patient and diligent and disciplined and giving in their process to finally reaching whatever that success is. But I have some ideas for you, especially if you're like your 20s, your 30s, and you're like, oh, my gosh, it's just not going to happen. I'm frustrated. I'm working through. And I definitely can get that because I spent almost all of my 20s working 24 7. It felt like. And, you know, I was in the grind, in a corporate job, working, working nonstop for other people, you know, not really in any of my control. It was like, this is your project. Do this, do that, do that. It was very. It was just. Just so insane with the pressure and all of the work. And I just remember thinking somewhere in the mid-20s, like, am I ever going to, like, do what I really want to do? Because I was saving up at the same time I was trying to, like, pay rent. And it was. I mean, we all come from this place where it's like, even if you have a dream, almost always the dream, it starts in the back of your mind, and it has to become like a, you know, a thing on a back burner so you can pay rent, get food, like, have an overall quality of life. For most people, it's not like they can just all of a sudden quit everything and start on their dream. Like, for a lot of people, it's a side hustle or it's a, like, longer period of waiting until they can, you know, move somewhere, find something, begin something new. And. And I share all that because you know what? I think there's four things that will really help you if you're in that place where you're like, I'm kind of doing my dream or I even fully committed to the dream, but I'm not feeling it, you know, Brennan, I'm not feeling the fulfillment or the joy or the sense of, like, breakthrough or abundance that I feel like I deserve. So here's four big ideas that I learned going through that exact thing. Number one, focus on doing activities that draw your passion. Don't focus on the success, the outcome, the final goal, the final destination. A lot of our discouragement comes because we're trying to make that specific thing happen. And we have a way in which we think it has to happen. And let me tell you what. I know a lot of people who. They actually did that. They worked diligently for years and years and years to manifest their dream. And now they've, you know, they've achieved the outward appearance of that success. They've got the bigger house, the bigger cars, they've got the, you know, the yachts, the boats, the fancy vacations, you know, abundance in every single way. And they're unhappy because along the way they were focusing on those external things versus the activities that bring them joy, passion and fulfillment. And what happens is you want to compromise on the activities that are actually part of the dream so that you can have the dream, right? It's that person who works a job that sucks for 20 years to finally get paid something to. To finally quit that job to do the thing they really wanted to do. So for 20 years, they did things that they weren't even passionate about fooling themselves like, well, I just need to save and save and save and finally one day be able to go do my dream. And it doesn't really, like, make any sense. Don't give up 20, 30 years of your life doing something, hoping to earn the right to do the thing you want to do. Start doing the activities you enjoy and make you feel challenged or creative or satisfied or fulfilled or on fire. Now I think that's what's so important. Everyone thinks the dream lives in a destination. And I always say, no, no. The dream lives in the activities that you do today. Are you doing today what you would do if you had the outcomes you seek? Because I know a lot of wealthy people who are miserable in their lives. They. They achieved outward experience, but they're miserable cause they're not doing the activities in the day that actually bring them joy and fulfillment. So if you need patience throughout this journey, the patience will come from connecting with the activity every day. Like, don't wait to have the dream. Do the dream. And if every day you touch that, like, experience, you're doing that dream every day, even just a little piece of it, then you don't get so discouraged. You know, when you get discouraged when you're just not doing it. But there's almost no dream that you could have that. You can't be doing something and touching that every single day. Some activity every single day that is actually part of the dream. You know, I have a friend whose dream was to become a world class chef. And so they were going, you know, they were like saving all this money to go to culinary school and they were having like terrible jobs. And they were just like, I'm gonna be a chef one day, I'm gonna be chef one day. I'm a chef one day. And I hung out with this person long enough to go, hey man, I know your dream is to become a chef, but you don't even cook right now. And like, no, no, no, I'm working to save, to go to culinary school. So one day I can be a chef. I'm like, no, no, you can be a chef right now. Cook dinner tonight in an artistic, fun way. Touch the dream now, stop delaying the dream for some outcome of perfect future and do the activities of the dream every day. For example, I had my corporate job in my twenties. Like I told you, I was working so hard, but I want to be a writer, you know, And I've been blessed now to have six best selling books. But when I was in my 20s, I didn't have that. And I wanted to be a New York Times best selling author. I wanted to, you know, go out on tour, I wanted to know my readers, I wanted to write things I was passionate about and I was waiting too long. And finally it was maybe like six years in that job. I was like, but I'm not even writing every day. My dream is to become a writer, but I'm not writing every day. What's up with that? Because that disconnect from not doing the dream to experience and have the dream that creates like suffering in the back of our mind because we're like, I want that, but I'm not even doing it. So first ask, are you actually doing the activities of the dream now? Because if you'll do them now, patience is easier because at least you're getting a taste of it now. At least you're experiencing it now. So really, look at your days, look at your week. Are you building the dream activities in now? I would say second, patience is easier when you are constantly learning mastery. And what I mean by this, if you've heard me teach a lot, I'm often telling people, make sure you know the five critical skills that you would need to develop to become world class at whatever you want to do. I mean, to become really good at. What skills would you have to master, like, for me, I would have to master not just writing, but I would have to master how to promote a book, how to build my brand, how to run a business, how to communicate on video and stages. I had no idea how to do like, any of that. And you can tell I still suck at some of that, right? It's like, it's not easy, but because on the way to become best selling author, I was always studying how to do all that stuff. Learning can make you feel more patient because you're like, learning is giving you progress. Learning is readying yourself for that moment you get the big break. Learning makes patience easier because your mind feels more competent. It's like, you know what I'm learning here, at least I'm getting some momentum. Maybe, you know, the doors aren't opening, maybe the bank account isn't filling up, but my mind is getting sharper at this. I'm developing skill. And when you develop skill, your mind says, hey, progress, we're doing okay. When the mind says, hey, progress, we're doing okay. Patience is so much easier. It's when you're sitting there, you know, the people used to say, twirling your thumbs. Now they just say, playing video games. It's like when you're sitting there playing video games all day, detached from the dream, not doing activities of the dream, and you're not learning, you really fall into complete detachment from progress. And now you just, it's not even a matter of patience. You just flat out give up. Because the mind needs a sense of growth and that growth has either come from learning or doing. Third big idea. I think this is really important. If you're losing patience for your dream, you're probably doing the dream by yourself. You don't have and have not developed friendships with other people who you talk to enough, who are doing the activities of the dream. And trust me, I know that, like, as a writer, I mean, you guys see me on YouTube and Instagram and like doing videos all the time with our challenges and our courses and our podcasts. Oh my God. But I'm more introverted than you think I would be. Like, I can go out and just crush it to an arena of 30,000 people all day long, no problem. But then I need to go back and just like, not talk to a human for a while. I have a big introverted, like, part of my life. And as a writer, I would write by myself all the time and I wouldn't collaborate with anyone. I didn't have any friends who were writers. And so I was always impatient. I'm like, is this book ever going to happen? Am I ever going to get published? Am I ever going to have a best seller? And I was losing patience because I didn't have community. When you have community, like, literally friends who you can call and go, you know what? Today sucked. I didn't get anything done. I didn't create or, hey, you know what? I'm just not feeling anymore. I wonder if I should quit. But they're on the path with you. They're like, hey, no, don't quit. Hey, listen to that dream that was sown in your heart. Follow that. Work for that, earn that. Like, having positive friends who are on the same journey is one of the most critical things that people fail to set up. Because when people say, well, Brendan, but I just don't have any friends, so I guess I'm gonna fail. Like, then go make friends. Leave your house. People are like, brent, I don't know anyone doing this. I'm like, go volunteer for an organization that's doing something related to your dream. Oh, I don't know anybody in my local community who's not a jerk. I'm like, go volunteer. Because guess who volunteers. Good people. Giving people, people who want to make a difference. People willing to give their time, money, effort towards good causes. Get around them. And as you're around them, start asking, do you know anyone who does this thing? I just started getting around everybody in volunteer organizations when I was coming up in my 20s, and I would say, hey, do you know anyone who's, like, a writer? Who, like, you know, writes articles or blogs or books? And they're, like, good at it. And these people I was volunteering with, like, oh, yeah, I know this person. Oh, talk to this person. I'd get an introduction. I'd ask them to go out to lunch, and I'm like. And I would just ask them questions. And then we became friends. The next thing I know, we're going to lunches, we're going to the bar, we're hanging out. And now I'm in that world. When you are in the world of your dream, it's here. You're touching it daily because of your social relationships. So make sure you develop friends who are doing what you want to do. It will carry you through those dark days when otherwise you'd strive by yourself. Last big idea. I know you guys heard me talk about this a lot. You have to teach your mind to honor the struggle. You have to teach your mind every day. You're getting discouraged instead of Saying, well, I guess I quit. I suck. This is no good. It's never going to happen. You have to take control of the self talk and honor the struggle. Like, literally, tell your mind how to deal with the process. Tell your mind, no, no, no. This process, this hardship, this struggle, it's part of conditioning me to be ready for the dream to succeed. This part of the struggle that I hate right now, it's developing character, it's making me force it, it's helping me challenge, it's making me grow. In other words, anticipate the fire, anticipate the difficulty, anticipate that it's going to suck, anticipate the days that you just don't like it. You know, I'm a high performance coach, so I'm blessed to work with some of the most, like, literally extraordinary people in the world. And some of my favorite clients in the past have been working with the US Military. And, you know, it's like, you know, if you ever heard like that Green Beret conversation where they use this phrase, embrace the suck, right? Army Special Forces will say, like, embrace the suck. Like, yeah, this sucks, but it makes us awesome. Like, let's dig in, let's get better, let's skill up. Let's use this to build our character, our strengths, our skills, our ability to win in the future. So all the things that suck right now, you're like, oh, my God, I can't figure this out. It's going to make you better. And I don't mean this just philosophically. Let me give you an example. At the very beginning of my writing career, I went completely broke. I mean, totally broke, totally bankrupt. Like, literally nothing. Wiped out clean because I didn't know how to do it. I know how to write a book. I didn't know how to make money. I didn't know how to promote it. Just completely wiped out 100%. And I mean, to the point where it's like, I couldn't even have credit cards. So they've gone into bankruptcy. So they took the credit cards. I had no credit nothing. I had a debit card and no money on it. And it was like the worst time. And I remember I'm going through this and I'm like. And I want to be like a personal development guy. I want to be a life coach. I want to be a high performance coach one day. I. I want to inspire people and I can't afford a burrito. I was like, it was miserable, but I was like, no, this is going to teach you to be frugal this is going to teach you to manage cash. This is going to teach you to be resourceful. When everybody else has fancy stuff, you're going to outperform them with stuff that isn't as great. I'm going to learn to be a resourceful human and prioritize being innovative and creative versus just having all this stuff. So I didn't have the fancy cameras. I borrowed a three legged table from my mom from the sewing room, you know, and I would just like type on that. I borrowed a laptop from somebody to write my book. I was just like, you know, pinching every penny and dime to afford rent. And then when I couldn't afford rent, I had to move in with my girlfriend and, and you know, I had to ask friends for help and support. And it was so humbling. And notice I said humbling, I didn't say embarrassing, I didn't say shameful, I didn't say sad, I didn't say discouraged. It was humbling. It was like, you know what? People who get success, they earn that. Right now I'm earning it. I'm putting in the miles, I'm dealing with the hardship. I'm. I'm going to honor this struggle as part of the process. Keep a good attitude, Brendan, because if you can survive this, you can build anything. If you can rise from this, you can crush anything. If you deal with this emotional hardship now, you will have intellectual, physical, spiritual, emotional confidence for life. If you deal with this tragedy, difficulty, suckness, now, then when it gets easier, you won't give up and you won't quit. Because you know what happens? A lot of people do achieve their dream. And guess what? Once you achieve your dream, guess what? You don't have the dream anymore. You got the goal, you made it happen. And now if you show up and all is smooth sailing and all is easy, you know what a lot of people do when they get success the way they perceived it? They become tragic losses. They lose their drive, they lose their motivation. They aren't happy. They're like, I worked so hard to get this, I got it. And now I'm not fulfilled, I'm not satisfied. Life isn't greater. And guess what? A lot of those people, they complained the whole way and then they got it. And then when they got it, now that it was gone, they were still a complainer. And what are you without all the things? You're who you became as you strived. So what I'm here to tell you is along this process, along the struggle, every single day, as it Sucks as it's a grind, as it feels like a hustle, as it feels like you're like compromising everything and it's just like, oh my gosh. Honor this process as a challenge to you to become a better human, to develop a better attitude, to develop those skills that are required. Like literally experience it not as a journey to achieve a dream, experience it as an opportunity to transform. Experience it as an opportunity to grow. Experience it as an opportunity to test your mettle and ask what am I really made of? How can I deal with this and live a great life right now? Not in 10 years when I hope to make it, how do I live a great life right now? Because if you can't teach yourself to live a great life right now, when you get financial abundance or you get the dream or everything happens, guess what? You're still stuck with you. And if you can't teach yourself to be satisfied, joy filled, emotionally connected, happy, fulfilled. Now I'm here to tell you, after coaching literally the most impressive people on the planet, people who are on covers of magazines, spiritual leaders, presidents of the United States, having the experience of working at the top echelons of every organization at the top levels, I can tell you that there's a lot of people who do get the dream. And because they weren't patient and they didn't develop themselves along the way, they hurried into it, they complained and crashed and grinded into it. They, they get there, they compromise their integrity, they compromise their health. They never taught themselves to be happy, so they got everything and they're still unhappy. And you're like, you have everything, how are you unhappy? It's because they never taught themselves along the journey to honor it and to use it as a training ground for being them best selves every day. I hope this gives you some thoughts. My friends here in Team hbx, we, we call you Team HPX because we really believe everybody wants to be more vibrant, connected and excellence driven in everything they do. HPX stands for the High Performance experience. And I'm here to tell you, you can live the high performance experience like literally now. Stop thinking one day you'll be next level, world class, best, rich, happy, fulfilled. Do that now, like live today as a wealthy individual. You feel wealth in your mindset. You feel wealth in your abundance of life. You feel wealth because you're alive. You feel wealth because you're gifted this beautiful breath. You feel wealth and joy and fulfillment now because the little things, the way the cat is, the way the dog is, the way that beautiful person was today who is kind to you, the opportunities you have in front of you, the Internet that's free of learning just like this. There's so many things along your journey to achieve your dream that you can appreciate and notice and be fulfilled from. And I just want to share with you that I got to have that experience because many of you all along my career has cheered me on. So Team hpx, all of you striving for the high performance experience in life, I appreciate your striving, I appreciate you being part of this community and I'm going to ask you to do two simple things. Number one, subscribe to this video and comment like on what we are doing here. And number two, share this one with somebody who's just so like unhappy or impatient or who's about to give up. Give them the gift of this episode. Send it to three friends, you know, who are a little discouraged, who are a little down. Because the truth is, if they will just keep focusing on doing activities that they enjoy and that are part of the dream, even if just a little taste of it, if they can develop the critical skills needed, if they can get friends like you who support them, and if they can just honor the struggle along the way, then when they arrive there, they will arrive there as a great person who already knows how to be happy. I hope this one serves you. Until next time. As Denise, my wife, always says, every day you can go out and choose to be average or you can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends, go be extraordinary. If you're ready to take your life.

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