How To Manage Negative Emotions

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Hey, my friends, it's Brandon Burchard and welcome to a special episode of the Brendon show. Hey, I'm Brendon Burchard and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. With this episode, I've spent the last 20 years studying human behavior change and writing, coaching and training literally at the top levels on the topics of motivation, focus, productivity, confidence and more. My goal, inspired by my own personal journey, is to help you and my audience live love and matter, which means to feel more vibrant, more connected and and more fulfilled in every area of your life. That's what we're doing today. If you liked today's episode, grab a screenshot and share it on Instagram. Just tag me Enonbruchard so I can see you and give you a shout out or a hello. And if you want to go to another level of personal development in your life this month, be sure to join me live every month in my coaching program. Just visit HPXCoaching to get signed up. I teach a brand new personal development session every single month. Meaning it's like a personal development seminar for you. Live every single month on the first of the month and then after I teach that for about 75 minutes, then we do live breakouts where you get to meet new people, network with people, set your monthly goals and establish real accountability for your growth. Listen, you know that expert guidance and real consistency and an inspiring community is critical to your growth. So join me this month on the 1st. Just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com it's time to level up, my friend. It's time to take your year back. It's time to find that focus and that confidence and that vibrancy and that vibe again. Go to hpxcoaching.com and and let me be your coach into fuller levels of high performance in every area of your life. Now, without further ado, let's jump in to today's episode.

Right now we are seeing an extreme number of people who are kind of drowning in pools of pessimism. You know, they've got lots of hope and ambition at the beginning of the week, but by the end of the week, they're kind of bummed by the the news or by the negative support of other people by the people who just they hope did better. They're constantly doused in disappointment all week. So by the end of the week they're just kind of bored or disappointed or less driven. So we have to talk about how do you deal with those negative emotions that really do affect your productivity and your performance? Number one here is like, how do you get more energized? And this is going to. I'm going to talk about this in two different ways. One, I'm going to talk about it in how it helps us at hpa, and another way, I'm going to talk about how it helps you every day in your emotions, as well as how do you crush it this week. So I'm going to combine all these three topics, basically by going through this list, and you'll see how each of them can help you, whether it's a regular day in your life or just overall managing your emotions. Number one, you thought deeply about your life and envisioned a compelling future. Remember to revisit your ambitions every single week or day. Okay, so let me say that again. You thought deeply about your life and envisioned a compelling future, and you revisited that future every single day. See, what I tell people all the time is, you know, there's this whole thing Brendan say. People say, well, Brendan, you know, I've lost my motivation. I go, you didn't lose it. You forgot to revisit it. Two very different things. Most people, the reason they're not as motivated as they could be is they're not looking at what would motivate them. Right? They're just going through the day in reaction mode. And what we do know from, you know, both positive psychology and optimism research, and, well, as what we found in our high performance research, is that people who are looking out towards the future, when they sit and they think about the future, it generates positive emotion, positive feeling. That optimism comes from anticipating the future and anticipating a good future. Right? That's what I'm always telling people. The future holds good things for you, and you're stronger than you think. And if you believe those two things, it energizes you. And what happens at our event is I'm constantly getting people to realize that, to rethink their future, rethink how they'll be in the future and how they'll treat their family, how they'll manage their health, how they'll deal with other people, and how they'll envision even just simple things as their new mornings, their new morning routines. And it's so important that that's what is creating so much of the energy. Because remember, when we talk about energy in high performance, we call it capital E energy. That means it's not just physical vitality. Right? Many people think of energy like, do I have enough Energy to run around the block, right? That's physical fitness or physical vibrancy. But there's two other components of energy too, right? There's mental energy and emotional energy. And so when we think about the future in positive terms, that's amping up our mental energy. And we can see it too. If we suck you in an FMRI tube, a functional resonance tube, that would allow us to see your brain activity. We could see without question that as soon as we get you thinking about your future, your brain and its activity changes, that different parts of your brain starts lighting up. And we know from hormonal release too, you get a little dopamine drip going in the back, a little serotonin. If you can see yourself having good things in the future, good relationships, things change. And so that's my question for you. Have you been thinking deeply about your life? So write it down, write this down. You thought deeply about your life, you envisioned a compelling future, and you revisited that compelling future consistently. I think about maybe one of the, I'd say most motivated times in my life. A time in my life when I remember just being motivated. Like every day for years was probably a seven year run. Seven years. And for me, that was college. Now, college didn't take me seven years.

But it took four. And then I went to grad school.

Right, okay, grad school. And so it was a good six year period. Then I went and got my first job. And I remember I had this unbelievable game down where every morning I would wake up and I would not get out of bed, I wouldn't run off to coffee, I wouldn't do any of that. I would wake up and I would just lay there for another 15 minutes and I would just envision things. I would envision what I wanted to do that day. I would envision talking to people I wanted to approach that day. I'd envision myself doing my homework. Well, I'd envision my job afterwards because I was working three jobs in college. So I'd envision what I could do, good at job. I would think about my future. I would see myself. For me, you know, a big part of my dream was being and visiting the Caribbean a lot. So I had this big just vision of myself doing all these things. And I had a vision of myself at some point of learning to speak. So I envisioned myself on stages. And that just energized me. Right now, many people, if you imagine being on stage and speaking and delivering and crushing it, what would that do for you? Well, for many people, they like get anxious. Like, they go, ugh. You know, they get nervous. That feeling of seeing themselves on stage speaking. And that was happening for me too. I would lay in bed and I would be so nervous. Like, I would literally sometimes be laying there thinking about speaking, and I would get so nervous that I'd like, start sweating. That's kind of gross. I know, but I'd just be there. I'd be so like, oh, my gosh. I'd see a bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger audience. But I would be so. I'd be nerves, right? But I'll tell you, when I got out of bed, I was awake. And after so many years of envisioning it, it didn't scare me anymore to even think about it. And now it just energized me. So you could even be thinking about yourself, addressing fears, not just having this perfect future where, you know, you've got the picket fence and the perfect husband and the perfect house and the perfect kids. Everything's perfect and the job's great and you have the corner office. You might even envision the things that scare the crap out of you, but start seeing them, let those things energize you. But it is by thinking about those things again, thinking about our lives, deeply engaging with our lives again, that we find more energy. So if you're midweek right now and you're just kind of like, eh, you probably haven't been thinking about your life this week. You've just been doing life sometimes the way to get energy back in, especially to start conditioning positive emotions. Cause we'll talk about dealing with negative emotions. But I always say, don't. The easiest way to deal with negative emotions is to be generating so much positive emotions in your life that that becomes your set point. The positive emotions are your set point, not negative emotions. And you can condition that as a habit by continually revisiting your future. Number two. And this is a big one, okay? This is a big one for Everybody. We took 10 deep breaths and body awakening movements every 50 to 60 minutes. And you bounce in place. So we have people, we'll have them stand and we'll have them bounce in place and close their eyes and take 10 deep breaths. Like that, bouncing 10 times. It's not a deep breath unless I can hear you breathing. That is how we're getting that kind of energy now. This is the physical vitality part of it, right? We're energizing our body, bouncing up in place, right? Just moving around that lymph a little bit, activating our blood flow. A little bit from having sat down so much, taking in those 10 deep breaths, giving our brain a hit of oxygen. And people are like, woo. Like they don't know it because it's so subtle. That first like two or three times we do it, but then what happens is then we're on day two or three. And that momentum of feeding our brain oxygen for two or three days at elevated levels than most people are used to, moving around more consistently than most people are used to, that changes the game. Look, one of the world's largest studies was just done on productivity. And it's a productivity app that, that basically tracks people's productivity throughout the day. And I can't remember what it's called, but what they did is they found out that the most productive people in the world tended to take a break at 52 minutes. So they worked throughout the everyday. They were working, they'd work for 52 minutes, they'd take a break anywhere between 5 and 17 minutes, come back 52 minutes intense break. 52 minutes intense. Now the app is just proving what I've been teaching for over 10 years of my life. I've been teaching this 50 minute break idea because why? Because I found it in my own life. I found it in my client's life. We found it from qualitative studies and now we've quantified it as well. That that 50 minute mark is a magical time in which your body says, dude, I need a break. Your brain says, dude, I need a break. And every one of us wants to push through those times, right? Or we think, I feel fine, I'll keep going. But you need to rest. You need to recharge. When my butt hits my chair, my timer starts on my phone. And at 50 minutes, I'm standing up and I'm bouncing and I'm doing 10 deep breaths or I'm taking a walk, or I'm just going to go to the sink and get a bunch of water. But at 50 minutes, I break. And that's not a new routine for me. This is 10 years of my life. People go, brendan, why are you so annoying? I go, because I take a lot of breaks. That's it. How do you get a higher level of energy? You don't get it by burnout. You don't get it by pushing through every day, just pushing, pushing, pushing. What high performers are doing is they're recharging more consistently throughout the day. And that recharge is changing their life. And that recharge is giving them more physical vitality. But look, some of you, you have to listen closely. Your negative emotions and negative energy are coming from a place in which your body is fatigued. Your neck and your shoulders are sore, you haven't breathed, so your brain is oxygen deprived. Add that with the amount of mental fatigue and visual strain that comes from staring at a screen or sitting in one place for too long, and all of a sudden it's easy to see why the negative emotions start taking over you, why you become impatient or irritable with the people that you love. Even though you're a good person, it's because you're not recharging throughout the day. As you recharge throughout the day, it gives your eyes a second to take a beat. That's why when I have people stand and bounce, I make them close their eyes. Because most of us are staring at screens and at wavelengths all day long that are actually stressing the areas of our brain related with basically stress. It's high activation there that we can see. Like a lot of headaches. Most headaches are visual headaches, right? Eye strain. And so you're getting a headache. Your body feels sluggish because you're sitting most of the day. And most people sit. So imagine shoulders now, lower back now. My neck hurts. And then the kids need something.

You're like, right?

Because of course you're gonna like, what do monsters look like in movies? And that's how people are sitting all day. So we need you to sit up, man, and every 15 minutes, get up, close the eyes to give the visual cortex a rest. Bounce in place, taking 10 deep breaths as you're bouncing. I guarantee it will change your life. Because most people, if they get any hit of oxygen throughout the day, where do they get it if they exercise. But only the top 15% of the top 15% of the country are working out five times per week. Meaning most people are just sitting there all day, not moving, not breathing, not giving their mind a break. And this is where the negative emotions start piling up. Your negative emotions aren't coming out of nowhere. It's a momentum. I always tell people, I go, if you feel negative emotion, connect the dots. Don't just go, she did it, I'm mad. Connect the dots. Well, I'm upset with her. Why not just what she did. I'm upset with her because I didn't sleep last night. My eyes are strained, my neck hurts, I haven't moved, I haven't taken a breath. And now you're putting all that physicality fatigue on another person and generating negative Emotions and experiences in life that are really coming from how you're managing your physical body, your mental energy. So I know I'm going a little bit long on all this stuff, but you taking 10 deep breaths every hour, getting up from your desk, I promise you it will change your life forever. When it changes your life, you work better. It's directly tied to your productivity.

Hey, it's Brendan and I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendan, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life? And the truth is I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things, a lot of stress comes along. And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sharp. You need to be mentally prepared. You need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day, you have to be on. And sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call Nootropics, which are, you know, basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPEX Optimized and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com you'll find HPX optimized for your mental focus and energy there. You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created, this 100% one, organic and vegan. And you'll find my essentials, which is my daily multi that I take that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX wellness.com right now. HPX wellness.com.

Listen to this one. The magic was created because we talked about life with inspiring peers. This is so important. If your life is wracked by negative emotion or you're not really excited about the next 90 days in your life, maybe it's about your peer group, maybe you're not speaking. And don't blame them. By the way, notice this. We talked about life with inspiring peers. Most people actually are inspiring. I've met Very few non inspiring people in my life. It's just most of us don't take the time to get to know people and we don't take the time to share our vision with people. And because we don't do that, we struggle and we don't feel as energized. And most of us, I mean, you have somebody in your life who is a motivated, driven, caring, compassionate, awesome person. Maybe it's your mom, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's somebody you met in one of our seminars, but you know, somebody. The issue is you're not speaking with them enough about what is inspiring you and your life. And because of that, because we're not verbalizing our inspirations, we're not feeling inspired. Right? You can mentally jack yourself up really excited by just thinking, thinking. But a whole other level of energy and positive emotion enters our life when we start expressing what we are excited about, when we start expressing what inspires us, when we start expressing our dreams. So if you're not as motivated or driven or experiencing many positive emotions as you want to feel, it's because you are not speaking positively with other people. Does that make sense? The people who experience the most amount of positive emotions that I've ever met in my life are the complainers. What they are speaking becomes their reality. They're constantly complaining about the commute, complaining about the co workers, complaining about the work. And all that negative expression is becoming what negative emotion? What you express, you feel. So what I tell people is like, start expressing what you're excited about in the future and you'll start feeling more positive now. Got it. So be very careful about the energy that you are expressing because it's making you feel something. And be more consistent about sharing positive things with others. Maybe at night, before you go to bed or at dinner, you share with your wife, like what was your favorite moment of the day? She shares her favorite moment, you share your favorite moment, the kids share their favorite moment, and now everyone's speaking positively and the family feels better. If you don't have practices of sharing positive things with your family, how can you possibly expect them to feel positive? Right? We forget that our communication shapes our culture. And so what do we see right now? What do we see right now? Well, right now, in our culture, in our broader societal sort of conversation, it's negative finger pointing, blaming, complaining, shaming, hating. No wonder so many people just feel like, ugh, right now. Because we've had, you know, over a year in our political process, at least here in the United States of just finger, point, finger point, hate, hate, insufficient, not good, bad, bad, name calling, name calling, point, point. And all that negativity going out to the culture, people are feeling that. And so the only way that we can counter it is to make sure that we are expressing positive things, that we are speaking positively with our family, that we are talking about the things that inspire us. Because with expression comes emotion. Don't ever forget that. So if you're not feeling good, start expressing more positive things. I hope that helps you.

Number four.

This is big. There is no question that good music increases positive emotions and positive, consistent productivity as well. So you need to know your music, and you need to know what level you need to play it at. And you need to know what tracks, what inspires you. So if you've not developed a soundtrack for your life yet, then you're just beginning. If you look at my computer, in my itunes, I have all these playlists. I have, like, a thoughtful writing soundtrack. I have a morning workout routine soundtrack. I have a morning meditation soundtrack. I have a playlist of writing motivational stuff. I have a playlist of writing more spirituality stuff. I have a playlist of basically what I call active stretching playlist, which is kind of like helping me become present. And then I've got something that just thumps and rocks when I'm lifting heavier weight. So I've got that. When I walk into my house, I finally have that Sonos thing, you know, where I walk in and I can play each room. I can play different music in each room if I want to. Sounds so silly, but that's part of what motivates us. If you ever went to a concert and you felt so alive, it was that thump of the music. And so are you creating that in your own life? I'm surprised how many people sit in silence all day and then they get in their car and they commute home listening to trash talk radio, and they're like, I don't know why I don't feel good. I'm like, well, you haven't listened to anything that would make you feel good. And so the soundtrack of our life is important. And this is how we generate more positive emotions. Notice all of this. I'm telling you what you should do in your daily life to create that positive emotion. Because you know, when you have a very strong game, a strong wall of positive emotion, the negative stuff doesn't knock you off tilt so much. It's not that you won't feel negative emotions. We'll talk about that. It's that it doesn't knock you off your game. Does that make sense? So you need to create that strength of resilience and positive emotions because that will give you that strength to deal with the negative emotions later. I think it's important that you're journaling, listening to good music. Even if you just journal once a day or once a week and you listen to some positive music, it will put you in a state of appreciation and feel great. And I talk to people all the time. I say, when's the last time you went dancing? And they say, when I was 23. Well, when was the last time you danced in your house alone, even? Well, I don't do that. Well, when do you dance? Well, I don't dance. And I go, I'm not asking if you dance well. I'm asking if you dance. Because the human spirit go to any Aboriginal tribe anywhere in the world throughout over the 70 years. When anthropologists and psychologists were studying Aboriginal tribes before, they were sort of, I would say, imbued with outside influences and what they all had dance as part of. Listen to this. Their daily life. Their daily life, the Aboriginal human spirit was based on a lot of celebration. Those campfire dances that kept the tribe happy, that kept the human spirit in touch with where it came from and the ground. And most people don't do that. I'm here to say you don't have to do it. Well, you need to start moving that body of yours and not just moving it through the space to do Olympic weightlifting at your CrossFit. I mean, celebration movement. If you don't have a practice of celebration movement in some way in your life, I promise you, you might be happy, but your limited range of happiness expanding that, that's your next level. We can all be happier. There's always another level up in that, and we can do that by more movement.

All right. Hey, my friend. I enjoyed today's episode. If you're ready to go to another level, don't Forget, go to hpxcoaching.com Let me be your coach. Let me spend the first of each month with you, giving you a personal development seminar. Let me help you get unstuck, break through your emotional blocks, find your real.

Clarity, your real passion, your real purpose.

And implement the habits that you know you need to implement. Change your life by getting a coach, getting some expert guidance. Listen, you got as far as you could get. You're here. You've achieved so much in your life. But to go to another level requires another level of mindset, another level of discipline, another level of direction and community and consistency. And that is what my coaching program is all about. So go to hpxcoaching.com and listen, if you're ready to go to a whole other level, I'm hiring. Please go to brendan.com forward/hiring for our open roles. I got a big secret project that we are rolling out and you'll only find information that@brendon.com hiring we've got, I don't know, 10 or 12 open positions there. If you ever wanted to work with me, if you want me to be your leader, you wanted me to literally employ you and help you grow in your career and do what we do, serving this mission of helping people around the world achieve their dreams faster, helping them improve their lives. We live every day as a team to do that and we are currently hiring. We're building out a new product and we need some people to help us do that. Brendon.com hiring if you don't know how to spell my name, don't even think about it. We're looking for people who are pros. If you're interested in internship with me, don't go there. We're not hiring interns. If you're interested in starting your career with me, don't go there. We are an A team here. We've got people who are really experienced. So if you're new to personal development or you're new to marketing, you're probably not going to be the person we're looking for. We're looking for people with at least three years of professional experience in a lot of different roles because we take.

This role very seriously.

We get to change lives and millions of them every single day.

That's the work.

So we're looking for real pros, top of your game, ready to come on to an organization that reaches just as many people in the world as any other personal development influencer or trainer on the planet. And we'd be excited to have you join us in a big new initiative we're rolling out for the beginning of the year. I can't even tell you any more about that. Go to brendon.com hiring if you'd like to work with us. And if you just want to go to another level and have me as your coach, not your Boss. Go to hpxcoaching.com so I can give you a brand new personal development session this month to help you set your goals, get on track, get unstuck and achieve your ultimate difference. Go to HBXCoaching.com for that. Thanks again for listening to the Brendon show. You all mean so much to me. I have so much coming out in the next couple months for you here that's going to be unique and special and I know you're going to love it. So keep your head up. I know it's been a hard year. Please remember, as always, you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you.

Sa.