How to MASTER the Art of Networking

Do you know why most people don't have amazing relationships in their life? We have a lot of people who do a lot of personal development and yet they're lonely. We have cause to blame everything for all of our problems. We think that we're so alone in this. And I'm here to say everybody struggles to build a network. No one here gets a pass. Based on your past or your personality, you've already met the person who could take your career to the next level, who could get you a million dollar deal, who could fund your idea, who you could fall in love with. You've already met these people. I want to thank you for being here. Committing to your personal development, but committing to building a larger and ever expanding and deeply enriching peer group is one of the things that most people truly fail at in personal development. We do so much in our personal development, especially over these last couple years. It's all been about, you know, getting your cold baths, doing your meditations, taking your supplements and all that's really good. But if the people who are around you, your friends, your co workers, your teams, your expanding network of people who, you know, if they aren't adding, if they aren't bringing you up, if they don't for you, feel like the right group or tribe or team or friends, and you can do all that stuff and still feel really lonely and disconnected. And I think in an ever divisive world, we have a lot of people who do a lot of personal development and yet they're lonely. We have a lot of people who work on themselves all the time. They get the workout in, they drink the shake, they do the thing that takes care of themselves and yet they're kind of like underwhelmed by the people around them and it feels frustrating. And when that becomes something that's chronic year after year after year where you're like, I don't like these people around me, Brendan. And it goes on for year after year after year and you don't take action or you tolerate it for too long. Well, that's the stuff of personal development too. I'm going to push you a little bit. For those who are new, please consider this a coaching workshop. Please consider this something. I'm going to push you a little bit on some of these topics. You're going to like, wait, I guess that's true. Or I haven't done that. Or, or you might not like what I say because sometimes we have to confront our lives. If we aren't as fully enriched as we want to be in life if we're not as fulfilled as we want. Some of you, if you're like, hey, I already got this, Brenda, I'm just looking for some new tactics to have some new friends or to build up my network, to climb up the ladder or to reach more people, or to create more abundance or have more deal flow. Whatever it is for you, I think you're going to find a lot of answers in how to enlarge your overall network and your overall experience of life through your relationships and your communities. But I want to start with two very simple premises. Today. You need to have an ambition for this. You need to want this. You need to realize that this is there because most people, because they don't know that it's there because they told themselves stories about their past or their preferences, they don't realize how outstanding their life can become when their peer groups are right, are the right people or amplifiers. And if they don't have that ambition and the reverence, the respect of the magic of it all, it never levels up because they don't appreciate. See, lots of people have an ambition, but they make people transactions. That's why they don't have any real relationships. Let me say it again. Lots of people have an ambition to have a great network, to use people, to be connected, to have status. They have ambition to get around wealthy people. They have ambition to be surrounded by extraordinary people. But they're transactional so they never have that leveled up experience. They see people as something to be used, to become wealthy, to become connected, to maintain or get status, fame, power or the look. Instead, those of us who have actual reverence for other people, we have this unfair built in advantage. And I really believe that when God or the universe sees that you respect and care for and are kind of in awe that you get to meet amazing people, that the world goes, oh, she likes amazing people, let's give her some more. She likes amazing people. She treats people amazing. Let's just keep giving her some amazing people. And it's almost like the level up happens because of the depth of your appreciation. You reach higher levels of peer group because of the depth of reverence you have for your existing relationships. Does it make sense? I bet you've been in relationship sometimes with somebody who didn't even appreciate the relationship and you're like, why am I even here? But when you appreciate it and you love it and you pour into it and you feel it, it's just a different, it's a different reality. It's a very different reality. I Know some of you know these two rules, but if you don't have ambition for it, you won't seek it, and you won't play a strategic game to ensure that your peer group is awesome. And if you don't really have reverence for people and the magic of serendipity, that just happens, and the openness to realize you don't know you're a bad matchmaker, that it's just like, wow, maybe this person is the person who opens up a gate. Many of you who are entrepreneurs, somebody opened a door for you who you would have never anticipated. They opened the door. They just did it. It was a kindness, it was a favorite, it was a luck, it was a blessing that's all around the world, all the time. So when you have reverence and that reverence is coupled with ambition, we can level up. Some of you, when you think about your peer group, you're worried. You're like, I don't know, Brandon, I'm not. I'm not an extrovert or, you know, I'm kind of not comfortable with people or I like my alone time. I don't want to deal with people. Well, hopefully, if that's where you're at, I know many people wouldn't even show up today just for that reason. They've sold themselves so many lies, told themselves so many stories about themselves, and they have detached, they've given up. They've thought, you know, I can't have good relationships. I can't be part of a good team. I can't be part of a community. They've got so discouraged and defeated by being part of other communities or teams or relationships that did not support them. They've just checked out. And now they blame their personality or they blame their childhood, or they blame something that happened to them instead of actively looking today and saying, what can I do to build more enriching relationships around me? And because, listen, you can blame everything. Everything. We have cause to blame everything for all of our problems. But the fundamental thing of personal development is this. What's your attitude going to be today and what are you going to do today to improve your life and to set up the future that you want? All the other stuff happen to all the other people, too. And often we think that we're so alone in this. And I'm here to say, everybody struggles to build a network. You know, some of you are like, brandon, I'm just. You don't understand. I'm socially awkward. I'm like some of the most outstanding and extraordinary People we've ever met who built huge teams and companies and change cultures and really shifted the world are, like, socially awkward. Very. I work with many of them. You know, look back and look back in history. Many of the greats were very socially awkward. Van Gogh was very socially awkward. Steve Jobs, very socially awkward. Margaret Thatcher, Very socially awkward. Mother Teresa. Yes. Nelson Mandela. Yes. Lots of people are socially awkward and yet achieved outstanding, significant changes. And if none of those, you know, resonated with you, that's okay. You can look back in history and find anybody. Like, people who literally saved the world. Like, Winston Churchill was kind of a little socially awkward. He was a little bit too bullish and loud sometimes and focused. And a lot of people also feel like, well, Brendan, I'm socially awkward. I'm uncomfortable around other people. Well, that's why you're here is you need to develop a group of and team and peer and community around you that allow you to open up and to express. And that should be the challenge. No one here gets a pass based on your past or your personality. Those things you can blame or complain with your friends. In growth day, we do the work. We have to say, what can you do today to improve this area of your life? What can we do today to open up, to take some actions to improve? Even if you like your alone time, even if you're introverted, even if you're socially awkward, I want you to be socially awkward as much as you want. Be confidently socially awkward. That's fine. Be socially awkward. Being socially awkward does not prevent you from creating a great community. Right. There's lots of very strange communities of people all around the world. I'm sure you see them on social media all the time. You're like, wow, those people, they just belong right together. I know you've had that. That, like, impression, like, whoa, wow, okay, There is a community, a team or a group for any way that you want to live your life, any way you want to express yourself and anything you want to do. You. Your job is to build the one that you're going to love. Hey, guys, it's Brandon.

I'm jumping in here real quick. First, I want to make sure you've gone to progressmode.com to join the newsletter because I have a resource for you related to this episode and I have an upcoming meetup with my private group, Ultra. If you've ever liked to be in a private group with me where I help you get more progress towards your passion projects or to build your business or your brand in a bigger way, just go to progressmode.com, click on Private group to apply to. See, you can get into Ultra and we can take it to the next level by getting in person and meeting up virtually once a month online as well. Just go to progressmode.com when you think.

About your peer group, I think most people are way too unambitious in this area of their life. They don't realize how much having the right people around you can truly open up who you are. You want to become something extraordinary in your life, surround yourself with extraordinary people and it's that much faster. You want to become healthier in life, surround yourself with healthier people that much faster. You want to become wealthier in your life, surround yourself with people who are striving and earning that much faster. It's about thinking about who we want to become and growing with a group, a team, a community along that process. And that sociology just triggers, our mirror neurons in our neurological system turn on. We mimic, see, we model. We get ambition and galvanization from other people and all of a sudden we find ourselves lifting ourselves out of our funk. Raise your hand if you need to lift yourself out of your funk right now. Sometimes you're trying to do that by yourself. Sometimes you're trying to become wealthy by yourself. Sometimes you're trying to become healthy by yourself and your own personhood. You can achieve that. It's just going to take longer by yourself. The amplification, the strategies and the motivation that you get from other people, you know, we just know from the research, other people amplify you. Many of you have been taught to believe that other people exhaust you. That's not true. That tells you you are not in flow around other people. And it tells you you might not be in the right peer group, but other people, they're amplifiers. Human beings are built that way, right? Beings. We are being together, right? It's very important. It's like plural here, folks. It's not just you. And I think a lot of people really struggle with this and tell themselves a lot of stories about why they can't have better people around them. I can't have better people around them because I'm damaged. I can't have other people around me who are good because I was addicted once. I can't have good relationships because this person hurt me. I can't have a good team because I tried hiring once, Brandon. It sucked. We have all these stories versus operating from the ambition, operating from the truth that so many people have built outstanding families, outstanding teams. Outstanding friendships, outstanding communities and groups that truly enrich their life. And I want you to tap into that. I want you to feel that. And today I'm going to ask you to level up your ambition, your allow ambition to come back in be like, yeah, I want to love the people around me. I want to love the people I work with. I want to love the people I'm building with. I want to love my clients, I want to love my family. I don't love my friends. It doesn't mean we won't address that. There are some people aren't a right fit. Some people, they're not going to be your growth friend, they're just a maintenance friend. Some people that we might have to set some hard boundaries with. Many people are going to discover truth today and you're going to realize that, wow, the social circle you already have has been not mined, not contributed to, not connected at the level that you could if this was a higher ambition or if you played a more strategic game. I say this to all of my audiences all the time and you hear them gasp a little bit of an aha sometimes when I say this. You've already met the person who could take your career to the next level. You've already met the person who could get you a million dollar deal, who could fund your idea. You've already met the person who could develop your skill. You've already met the person who could make an introduction to somebody who you could fall in love with. You've already met these people. You know, in the old days we used to have, you know, people would keep a Rolodex or a bunch of a shoe box with a bunch of business cards in them. And he was like, hey, in there, there's already gold well in your phone. You've already met people DM with people, talk with people, emailed with people and communicated with people. They're already in your contacts or loaded up in your dms. But you didn't follow up with them, you didn't ask them questions, you didn't strategically add value. You didn't ask for some open doors or a lending hand. And so you've met a lot of people, but sometimes you didn't form the relationship and form the group that would really benefit you. Is that true? It's hard to accept that. You probably already met some outstanding people, but you didn't follow up, you didn't connect, you didn't make that friendship deeper. You met that one person, you went to a party, you met that one person. You're like, she can be my friend. And you're so excited. You're like, she could be a friend. You text her one time, she didn't reply back, and you're like, oh, she must hate me. I must be fat. And you never talk to her again. And we tell ourselves all these stories about why we don't connect with people when most often, we actually didn't make the attempt often enough or. Or in their style to create that relationship. And then once we had some good relationships, we never connected the people. Let me share with you what we learned from the science of sociology. You are a terrible matchmaker. You're horrible at it. We are, as human beings, we are terrible at matchmaking. Like, really, really bad. Obviously, here in North America, we know that well over 50% of marriages don't last. Well, you know, most of us are not good matchmakers individually for ourselves, right? Let alone knowing how to match other people. Does that make sense? Like, most people, they don't have an outstanding group of friends, an outstanding peer group in their industry or their trade. They kind of just took what showed up for them. Does that make sense? They kind of just like, well, yeah, I met her at work, and I guess we're friends. And, you know, and because there's been no strategy in it, no real joy in, hasn't been an area of life that most people focus on, even though they desperately want it, because we think that, well, I won't match with her. She won't match with him. But I'm here to tell you the amazing thing about everything we've learned about the entire evolution of this planet is it is amazing how well humans mix from across divides and cultures. It's amazing. Our immediate preference is to divide into tribe. Our immediate preference is to stay with the people that we know. But what we do know from every country around the world is that it turns out that lots of people from lots of different cultures meet, and you're like, oh, wow, I didn't. You guys got along good. Everything went just fine. The world's a bigger melting pot. I know we don't use that language often, but it's like, it's much more diverse and connected than we could ever imagine. We're actually really good at it. As humans, we desperately desire to build community. I want your community to level up this year. I want your community, the people you hang out with, who you talk, who you meet with, who you. Who you work with. I want that whole group to go up. And here's the thing, that whole group can go up, even if you don't change a single person in it, because sometimes you're not even connecting the group that you already have. I just trust that if people are before me, out of 8 billion people. Do you know why most people don't have amazing relationships in their life? They have no reverence for the gift of that coincidence and meeting in the first place. Reverence means you honor it. You see it as important, you care about it. There's a respect for that. You know, anywhere I meet people around the world, I'm like, wow, there's a reason I just met this person, and I don't feel like I have to uncover it or figure it out all the time. I just have reverence for it. I have reverence for all the people I get to meet or interact with in my life. And I can tell you that that is the law of attraction at play. When you have respect and honor and you trust, there's a reason that people come into your life. Amazing people start coming into your life because now they're not objects. Most people never develop great peer relationships because they see other people as objects. They see other people as transactions. They see other people as someone in their way or someone to be used. And so they never develop an authentic, reverent peer group where they're just respect and mutual giving. And I don't know if that's ever happened to you or you've been in relationships like that where you've been the object or you've been just a transaction or you've been a stepping stone for somebody and they didn't see you honor you, even think about you. There was no reverence there. You were a tool for them. Well, that is the opposite of building a great peer group. And those types of peer groups never level up when they're just transactional. When you think, maybe there's a reason I sat down at lunch with her today, maybe there's a reason I'm sitting next to him at this cafe and he's reading a book that I've read before. Huh. Most people, what a coincidence. I'm like, hey, why'd you pick up that book? See, so much of building a great peer group is just starting a conversation. Just starting a conversation. You don't know why you have been introduced to the people who you have been introduced to in life. You don't know why, do you? And here's what I believe. The second we can accept that and open to that, is the moment this whole conversation elevates and levels up your entire appreciation of everybody you meet levels up.