How to Maximize Your Potential

Many of you, in your mind, your comeback chapter, that next stage, that next level, for you, it's all about achievement and accomplishment for yourself. Make sure that first chapter in the comeback story is not an ego chapter. Make it a relationship chapter, and everything changes. Repair those relationships. Reconnect, deepen. And that's the turn of the book. Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard. I hope you are having a spectacular day today. I am thrilled to be with you and to really discuss and dive deep into how do you have that comeback story in your life? If you've been down, you've been out, you've been frustrated, you've been challenged, people have been doubting you, you doubted yourself. You feel like you failed, you feel like you struggled, you feel like you're not breaking through or activating your full potential, Bam. You're in the right place. Welcome. Because this has really always been about me coaching you to your highest levels of potential and performance in everything that you do. I'm just here to deliver. I've got huge ideas for you on how to dramatically improve yourself. You know deep inside that you have more potential. You know deep inside that you want more for you and your family. And you know, deep inside, it's on you, my friend. It's on your shoulders. It's on your choice, your will, your thoughts, your desire, your discipline, your simple readiness to have a better life. And I've got here, I can see on my phone. And I will be interacting with you throughout this time today to really take your questions, to engage with you, to coach you, to cajole you, to tease you, to purse you, to put some good energy on you today. Because no matter where you're at in your life right now, I want to let you know I'm here. I'm cheering you on. You are not alone out there. That no matter what is that stress or that frustration that you are feeling, there is a way through life does get better. You do have more capabilities and you're going to make a tremendous difference in this world. So wherever you are, have that hope, have that faith and have that readiness today to do some deep work. We got a big session today. I have been preparing all morning to really deliver 10 big ideas that can help you get your mojo back, you know, get you on track, help you achieve more faster, help you do it this time with a little bit more speed and sanity so that you can live the extraordinary life you and your family deserve and expect. I know that it's difficult out there. I know that that as you're as many of you, you are climbing and working and clawing and pulling yourself up. And some days that's hard, and some days it can feel lonely. And some days you get frustrated because you got left behind, you got cheated on, you got discouraged. Things are happening. But in every hardship story, there is that comeback story. If the character decides that's what has to happen. Because we can all have hardship and we can freeze, we can stop. We can literally stop our development in times of trauma, difficulties, challenge, and failure. But some people use that as an opportunity to challenge themselves, to develop, to grow into a better person, to give back, to make a difference, to inspire others. And I know you would not be in this program if that was not you. So I congratulate each and every one of you for your continued education in personal development. I know if you guys could raise your virtual hands right now, just like me, many of you are big old personal development dorks. You know that You've cared about personal development for a long time because you know that unless you do the deep work sessions like this, you kind of forget or you go through the motions. You are getting new momentum, new insights, new habits. And I know that sometimes what I share, I hope, is common sense in personal development. But you and I both know common sense is not always common practice. And just being here and working on yourself can revivify your life. You know, it is that touch point with personal development on a consistent basis that makes us look at ourselves and be honest and decide to do better. And if today is that touch point where you just go, oh, yeah, you remind me a few things, I'm ready to go again, then I feel like I served our mission today. I know we're all here to experience what we call that high performance experience of life, right? That. That higher level of vibrancy and connection and excellence in our lives. That's why we're here. I know that deeply. I know that. You know, there's another experience of life, and we want to touch it, and we want to rise up to it, and we want to go above it, and that's why we're all here. So I take it seriously. Your time and your energy and your effort. It's why I prepare so much for these and why we do such a hard, you know, hard, strong effort. The challenge is how do you reach it and how do you sustain it. So today we're going to take on a very personal. I think this will be a very emotional session for some of you because it's Time to take a look at where you've been getting discouraged. And it's time to take a look at where you've been given up. It's time to take a look at where sometimes you've played that, you know, victim role or victim card a little bit. Where, you know, other people are at the cause and the problems and the blames. And, you know, I really have always found in personal development, the thing that inspires me to be my best is that messaging of, you know what? Sometimes self awareness has to be matched with some self reliance. And we gotta pick ourselves up by the bootstraps. I still don't know what that means. I have no bootstraps. We all take it upon ourselves to rise back up to our best selves despite the setbacks. And some of you have been writing in saying, brendan, I've had so many setbacks in these last six months or last two years. Even though there's momentum and even though I know there's opportunity, I feel like I'm just. I'm not making that transition. I'm not making that switch. I'm not feeling as confident and as ready as I need to be to really change and really rise at this moment. So today is how do we take your discouragement into that comeback story where all of a sudden you're winning? Well, all of a sudden you feel like you are hitting on all cylinders in your life where you're not going through the motions, you're not frozen, you're not stopped, you're not placating, you're not not being sorrowful, but rather you are being strong, you are being confident, you are moving forward, you are making your dreams happen, you are staying more disciplined than usual. And ultimately, after that amount of discipline, after practicing those high performance habits, after doing what we shared today, these 10 things I'm going to teach today, you will find yourself climbing back up and there'll be a new momentum in your life that you absolutely earned and deserve. That's the promise of today's session. We're going from discouragement to comeback today, ladies and gentlemen. We're going from kind of going through the motions, hoping to make it to crushing it. And I am here to be your coach. I'm Brandon Burchard. I'm your certified high performance coach for the day. And my job is to lift you that higher level. So let's do the work. First concept today is the idea that we all know where we're off in life. So I'd love for you to start with a real motivational thing here and just kind of be honest with yourself for a minute. Are there any places or any areas of your life you've been kind of frozen in fear, or if you're honest, you've been holding back, or if we're going to be truthful, you're not moving ahead as you know you're actually capable because you just got discouraged or hurt. Is there anything, you know, you should be doing? But you're just kind of like arms crossed, you're kind of observing the world, doing it right now, but you're like, well, you know, I'm not any good at that, or I don't deserve that because I screwed up in the past. And is there any way that you're still the one holding yourself back? You're the one who's torturing your own self with negative thinking. I like to begin and just kind of check in sometimes. You know, some of you, you're so hard on yourself. You're so hard on yourself. And in fact, many of you, you've been living in fear or discouragement or self hatred. And that's kind of. I know it can feel like flippant for some virtual coach to tell you here today, I get it. But many of you know, I've been through my own depressions and suicidal thoughts in my life. And I've been with literally thousands of people who've experienced just such trauma and difficulty in their life. And, you know, they kind of gave up. And sometimes giving up looks different to different groups of people, right? Sometimes giving up, what that really means is someone's stubborn, sometimes someone's given up. And what it really means is they're just people pleasing to avoid their own reality. Sometimes they've given up. And, you know, they're trying to be such a great person over here for these group of people, but they're dying inside because they're not living their truth. And I know that we've all been in that story a little bit, and it's hard. And some of you, you're so hard on yourself, even though you're the high performers. And I bet many of you, you're watching this and you're the one actually in your family, your community, who's more dedicated to personal development than other people. So it's almost like, I know I'm preaching to the choir and I know we don't have a bunch of sorrowful people out there and sad stories all over the world, especially with this group. You guys are high performing. You're going for it. But I Also know that we have that dichotomy in life. There's only two narratives in the human story. One is struggle and one is progress. And there's always even me. There's parts of my life where I'm struggling so much sometimes. Sometimes I'm frozen or I'm slowing down or I'm sucking at my discipline. Some of you know that. And other times you're like, no, no, no, I'm progressing. I'm doing great. But we're progressing and doing great in maybe work, but you're really dogging it in your relationship. And what I want to share and the reason I set this frame this way is because I want you to know that's normal. It's just normal. If you are struggling in some areas of your life and you're frozen there, you stopp. That is normal. Stop hating on yourself, stop beating yourself up. It's part of the human narrative. And now we just have to decide to turn that page and start that new story of progress today. Right? It's okay that if you're laugh, listen, if your last couple chapters in life sucked, that's normal. There is no one here, no one here watching this who hasn't had a couple chapters that sucked a couple parts of their life that they didn't like. Some negative experiences, traumas, difficulties, people screwing them and just being awful. We've all had that. Everybody has had that. The difference is some people hold on to that forever and they stay in that chapter and they never write the headline of the next chapter and start writing that chapter and step into the future. That's the difference maker. Everybody has the story of struggle. Everybody. Everyone has the difficulties. Everyone has the traumas. It's that some people say, okay, okay, enough with this. Enough, enough. Let me reset now. I am tired of being stressed, Tired and fearful. I'm tired of that story. I'm tired of holding back. I'm tired of not living my life. I get it. My childhood wasn't great. I get it. These people laid me off. They fired me. These people stole from me. This person broke my heart. Okay, you all got that story. No more living back there, no more living in the past. If we're going to accomplish anything today, it is a demarcation mind from the story of struggle and discouragement. The story of fear, the story of sadness, the story of victimization, the story of freezing and fearing. And it is the beginning of a new chapter. You must raise your hand as you watch me right now and say, okay, Brendan. I hear you, brother. New Chapter, let's go. If you can't make the decision to commit to starting a new chapter, you'll be forever reading the old one. So today is that new day. You must begin this session with that fire in your bellies. I know you got it. In your heart and in your soul, there still is a fire. Even it feels like sometimes somebody threw a wet blanket over your fire. Even if you feel like you know you, that the passion has been extinguished because you got hurt. No. New chapter. Type it down below. New chapter, let's go. New chapter, let's go. Type it down below. New chapter, let's go. That has to be where you and I start your coaching today. It has to be. It has to be. I know the passion got extinguished sometimes. I know your feelings got hurt sometimes. I know they stole, cheated, lied, and judged. I know it hurt. I know they took advantage. I know you fell. I know it wasn't fair. That's fine. Old chapters, what's the new chapter? That's what we have to work at. The comeback story begins with writing the new headline and the first couple paragraphs of. Of the future unencumbered by those last 300 pages, my brothers and sisters. That's it. New chapter, let's go. We have to have it. We have to have it. And I'm not here just to be the motivational guy in your life. You know, I went through this in deep, difficult, dark, horrible ways in my life, from depressions and suicidal thoughts to. Many of you are with me in 2011 when I got my brain injury and I had a horrible two years after that. Horrible, horrible. In every possible way. My physical, mental, physical, spiritual relationships, finance, like everything just was so discouraging and hard for two years as I'm trying to overcome this brain injury. And it was just like everything. It's just like everything was just so hard. It was like I was trying to crank this thing. It wouldn't click, you know, for two years, it wouldn't click. So I don't just mean to hype you up, but my hope is that you can say, okay, there's gotta be a demarcation line. There's got to be that turning of the chapter. And if you will accept that today, then these items I will share with you could change your life. If you can't start with that readiness for the new chapter, then it's going to be hard to address some of the issues in your life that have been holding you back, you know, because, listen, if we start talking about all the things that have Been holding you back and you're still living in the past. Guess what? When you start talking about someone's past or the issues holding them back and they're not ready for the new chapter, what do they do? They get down on themselves. They start hating themselves. They give up faster. But if we can begin in a new context and be ready for that future and acknowledge where we've been putting on the brakes or where our fears have been, boom, we go faster. That's what I really believe. And here's my first thing. If you know it is time to revivify your life. That's a fancy word for Montana. My way. To revivify your life. To re energize, to reignite your life. If you know that is time. Now, if you genuinely know, like, gosh, I gotta, I gotta turn it. I gotta crank on here. I gotta, I gotta amp it up. I get more disciplined. I gotta be more energized. I gotta take care of my family better. I gotta earn more. I gotta protect ourselves. Like, if you feel that sensation, that restlessness, that fire, that frustration, that hope inside, you damn well better listen to that close. That message is coming through you. And if it's in your heart, I'm here to tell you, listen, my friends, listen to that. Listen to the rumbling inside. Listen to the restlessness. Listen to the whispers. Listen. That part of you saying, holy crow, we. Holy cow. Crow crowd. Holy cow. We gotta now turn it up again. And if we can do that, that's where it starts, okay? That's where it starts. So with that in mind, principle number one out of ten different things we're going to talk about today, okay? Principle number one. Do not wait until X happens for you to start changing your behavior, changing your lifestyle, changing your habits and. And starting this new chapter. Do not wait. Many of you are in a wait story. You're in a waiting pattern. I want you to think about this. You're like, oh, no, no, you know, soon as the kids leave, Brendan. Oh, once the kids leave, yeah. Oh, then we can be happy. Once the kids leave, things will be good. We're just going to wait. No, it's time to start living your life each day. You know, I had this friend of mine recently, it's kind of funny, literally, person who's been, you know, someone I've been coaching at a high level for multiple years in our certified high performance coaching program. And this person literally said to me on a coaching call this last week, said, oh, yeah, Brendan, you know, I've been waiting to Change my diet here. I'm going to do that. But I'm going to wait till after rehab. Literally said, I'm gonna wait until after rehab. I'm like, what? No, but that's how. And you all, I know you. I hope you think that's as funny as I do. But listen, it's just as silly for you to be telling yourself, well, I'll wait until I feel better one day. I'll wait until one day, you know, the kids leave. I'll wait until I'm rich. I'll wait until we get the new house. I'll wait until we start the new job. I'll wait until we move, new city. I'll wait until she finally says yes. I'll wait until he finally approves. I'll wait until I finally feel like it. Do not wait until tomorrow is the beginning of the new chapter. Because the new chapter always begins with a new way of thinking, doesn't it? It starts with the new way of being in the world. New habits, new. And you don't have to wait for people to understand you. You don't have to wait for anybody to give you permission or approval. Like, you have to accept. It's on you. That's where this begins. The comeback story happens when you go, it's on me. It's my choice. Here we go. Tomorrow I'm going to start speaking to myself in healthier ways. Tomorrow I'm going to start eating healthier. Tomorrow I'm going to start working out more. Tomorrow I'm going to protect my time more. Tomorrow I'm going to value my wellness more. Tomorrow I'm going to do my art more. Tomorrow I'm going to be happier and more connected. It's a choice. It's a choice for you. It's a choice for you. Got it? Like, at some point you have to go, I don't have to wait anymore. Some of you are waiting until you earn something or you're certified at this or you get promoted to that. And what I'd love for you to do in your own honesty today is ask, where have you been waiting? Like, what's that thing you're like, well, I'll do that someday. Because, listen, the more that you are waiting on, the more that restlessness inside is activating, the more that you're waiting on the things that you know you need to be or do or create or move towards, the more of those they stack up. An internal dislike. You start feeling like your psychology goes, well, I want these things. I know they're important to me, but I'm not acting towards them. And what it does is it erodes your self trust. Do you know why so many people say in the chapters of Discouragement versus starting the comeback story? Because they're still living in self distrust. And a lot of that self distrust isn't because they're a bad person. It's because there's a part of them that's waiting and their mind and their body in the background is saying, hey Brendan, do these things. And my mind goes, I know those are good things and those are the right things. But you know, I feel bad about myself today. So instead I'll go watch three seasons of something on Netflix. You know what it is, I know those are the right things to do or that's the right way for me to behave. But I'm going to wait until she's better. You know what? It is nice to be nice, but I'm not going to be nice because look at her behavior. So I'm going to be an ass just as long as she is. And your back of your mind goes, but that's not congruent with who you are. Why are you acting and behaving to somebody else's level and waiting to be your best self? The reason so many people live in the discouragement story versus the comeback story is because of self destruction trust. They're not doing now what they know they can should. They're not being now who they can and should. They are not moving forward like they know their potential is capable of. And inside it's just like. It's like every single thing that you're waiting on that you know you should do is one more layer of distrust in your identity and you stack up enough waitings on somebody things they know they should do, waiting to live their life, waiting to speak well themselves well, waiting to start the diet or the nutrition plan or the healthy activities and their brain starts distrusting themselves, says, you know what? I can't count on you to do the things you know you should do. I hope you guys get what I'm talking about. It's a way of hurting ourselves is waiting. The longer you wait on the decisions or forging the character that you know you should do, the more hurtful it is to your character and your identity. Now, I know some of you come here for a lot more motivation than that, but I do believe that my role as your virtual coach is sometimes to have you look at yourself and be honest here. It's hard to start your comeback story if you can't trust yourself to wake up tomorrow and do the things you know that are right for your life. That means some of you, you've been waiting to have that difficult conversation with your spouse until never. Some of you been waiting to ask for that thing you dream of at work until never. Some of you been waiting to start that business or that new book or that new endeavor until never. Now you tell yourself no until you know these things. And what you're telling yourself is, I'm going to wait until all the perfect things completely line up. When it's all perfect, then I'll go. And your brain goes, you are so full of crap. You know, you're waiting because you're scared or you're mad at yourself or you don't trust yourself. So what are you doing here, brain? You're lying to yourself. And then your heart, your spirit knows you can't trust yourself. And that's why you're not being more decisive in starting the new story and the new chapter. And listen, I know I'm teasing a little bit here today. I try to poke fun a little bit, but I spend my life with people who are literally paying half a million dollars or more to, to work with me. And I cannot tell you how many times this is the issue for them. And you would think, oh no, if they can afford that, they must not have this issue. I'm here to tell you, everyone has that issue. The people who I coach on the covers of magazines, my friends, they have this issue. When I was down and out and my worst of myself, I had that issue. I know you all have that issue. We all do things that create self distrust inside. And so do not wait. Do not wait until the perfect things. So what I'd love for you to do is you got a journal here today and I hope you have a journal somewhere. A piece of paper napkin, you know, write it on the, write it with lipstick on the floor if you have to, or wherever you got to put it. I don't care where you got to put it, ladies and gentlemen. What I'd love for you to do is write out the, the do not wait list, right? Do not wait to say I love you to my spouse even though you might be in a fight. Do not wait to start writing that book until you're rich and you have all this time. Do not wait to create a better relationship with the kids until they're more mature. Do not wait. Like have that do not wait list because it's a hard one. And I know I can See it like, I was like, do not wait. And it could be simple things, dream things. I literally wrote one time, maybe a couple months ago, I wrote, do not wait to move to the place that you would love to live and create every day. You know, do not wait to get yourself healthier just because, you know you're busy. Do not wait. I'm just. I think a do not wait list can be really great. Really great, really great. Don't wait until everything's perfect, my friend. The new chapter that's today. Discouragement story. Comeback story. Comeback story starts with asking, where have I been waiting? Because my body, my mind needs to trust itself. I need to trust myself to take action towards the things that matter the most. That's principle number one. Principle number two, here we go. We've got to go from victim to role model. The biggest shift in many people's lives, the ultimate comeback story, begins with this one. It goes from, you know what? They took advantage of me. This wasn't fair. I don't like them. It was just, you know, terrible. And listen, I am not here to say that what you have been through in your life was not significant. Awful, tragic, hard. You know what? I hate when people do that. You know, they try to get. They try to say, oh, no, what you've been through, that's nothing. Because everyone else went through all these other things. Now, I appreciate the perspective, but if you had a hard time in your life, you had a hard time, maybe you weren't equipped with the coping mechanisms to deal with it, or the maturity or the support. Maybe somebody really took advantage of you. I get that, trust me. But I'm here to say there is a mental shift that goes from victimhood to survivorship, but then to being a role model. The greatest comeback stories happen when someone goes, you know what? I need to overcome this because my kids are watching. I need to overcome this because my team's going to see how I deal with this. I need to overcome this because everyone else is expecting me to blame, stop and freeze. And if I rise up, maybe I can be a story of inspiration for somebody else. Even if rising up is so friggin hard, you know, even if rising up is so hard, I know that rising up might inspire someone else. Because if you can't inspire yourself for yourself, some of you will do more for other people than you will do for yourselves. Isn't that true? Some of you will do more for yourself than other, for other people than you will do for yourself. So I always tell you, if you are down and out. That's why I always say, ask, who needs you on your A game each day? A card right next to my computer. Who needs me on my A game today? Because I will do more for other people to serve other people than sometimes I will. I can be very, like, believe it. People are like, wait, Brendan, did he just say he can be lazy? I'm like, I can totally be lazy. I'm from Montana. I can chill out on the mountain or on the lake or in the river with a fly pole all day, happily. All right. I'm good at chilling. But I also know that many people don't make a turn in their life. They don't realize that if they could overcome it, they could inspire people. You know, it was one of the things that kept me going when I had the brain injury. I. For those. I know we got a lot of new people here, but in 2011, I wrecked a four wheeler, an ATV, and I wrecked it in such a way that I really damaged my body. I mean, if you ever see this big scar on my hand that some of you guys have seen, you know, got a big metal wrist going on right here like a bionic guy, you know, I threw out my hip, dislocated my shoulder, cracked a couple ribs. Gosh. And ended up with a brain injury. And to me, as I was going through that, I was so cognizant of the fact. I was like, you know what? Because there's so many days I couldn't control my emotions. I didn't have hope for the future. I couldn't even see the future anymore. My ability to look out far in the future was kind of gone. And it was like, oh, man, it sucked. It just. I mean, there were so many days I was super sad because my emotions were all over the place because the injury, it was just. It was an awful experience. But there weren't too many days that I lost perspective in such a way that I never really forgot that, you know what? Someday I'm gonna have to explain I had a brain injury, and I'm either gonna go, you know, gosh, I had it, and my life still sucks, or I'm gonna say, you know what? I had it. And I did everything I could to come through even a physical limitation like that. And it's not in any way making myself, you know, the hero of the story. Because some of the people who inspire me the most. I have a friend who, you know, literally cannot walk. Lost use of both of his legs in war, and he's one of the Champion wheelchair basketball player, guys, right? And you know, for years and years he was miserable and sad and hated himself. And obviously, I mean, to lose the ability to walk, to become paralyzed, but he just said, you know what? Not going to be the person who goes through this and gives up on life. I'm going to get the training, the support and do the work to try to lift myself into something. Because it's a choice we get. We're going to give up and check out or we're going to work hard and rise up that demarcation line. Discouragement to come back, give up, check out, or like engage, rise up. One thing we know from the world's largest studies of high performers is they always say they're fully engaged in their experience. And I always love that. It's like, because we're either avoiding things or running from things, or we are engaging it and facing it head on. But what lifts us is when we can go, you know what? If I pull through this, man, it's going to be a good story. If I pull through this, man, some people are going to see this and be inspired. If I pull through this, okay, something good is going to happen. You know, I don't pretend that it's easy, but I do pretend to tell you that you got a choice. You're going to stay with this story where you're down and out, people took advantage of you, and you're going to relive this one and play it forever and, and relive those old chapters over and over, read them over and over and over and over and over again. Or you're going to start telling yourself a news story that you got an opportunity to rise and be the role model for someone who's going through the same thing. I'm not the only one who ever went through a brain injury. So I hope that my efforts to recover, to do the hard work over that two and a half year period can inspire. Some people say, hey, you know what? Maybe I don't just have to accept where my mind, body and brain are. I can rehab, I can change. And I've always been inspired by people who did that. I really do believe that. I really do believe that. I will also say that the role model mindset is integral to the highest level of success, not just the comeback story. Let's go to the end chapters, right? The very end chapters of life. When you look back at life, we know that high performers view themselves as role model. And if you view yourself as a role model, even if today you suck, but you start adopting the role model mindset. Like, how would I behave if I was a role model right now? What would I be saying to myself? How would I treat other people? What would I do if, even if, when you just are starting or you are down and out, you can step into the role model mindset. Step into the mindset that says the way I live my life can serve as an example. The way I live my life can serve as an example. The way I live my life can serve as an example. And if I can step into that, then maybe, then just maybe I'll work a little harder to change. Because you'll do more for other people than sometimes you'll do for yourself if you're going to do something for yourself. As you're evaluating those old chapters, my friends, here's one I'd love to give you. I would love to say, forgive and just set some new standards. Forgive and set some new standards. What do I mean by that? Well, I think, you know what, if you've been discouraged and you've been down and out, fearful, stopped, blocked, you're probably holding on some negative feelings for yourself and other people, you know, and it's by holding on to that that's hard to break through now. You know, it's being weighed down by that old stuff. It's not allowing you to break through now. And sometimes real transformation begins with forgiving yourself and other people. It doesn't mean you justify it, it doesn't mean you approve of it, because maybe you did something that was stupid or someone did something stupid to you. But forgiving it and letting it go, for those who've been to High Performance Academy, you know, the power of this, it's like when you let go of all of that that you're holding onto, from the self hatred to the social judgment of others, and you can step into a more free moment now everything shifts. And here's what I tell people. I'm like the reason a lot of people don't want to let go of the past, because they like to hold on to that. But when you shift into the role model mindset, it kind of goes like, oh wait, I gotta look at this a little differently. And here's the thing, instead of being discouraged by the past, adopt the learning mindset that says, got it. Okay. I learned this from the situation. So here's the new standard, right? Last time I allowed somebody to walk all over me and you can live in that past, they walked all over me. I'm a victim. Woe is me. That Was awful. Which, hey, all that's true. But if you live there, life is not good. Or you can say, okay, they walked all over me. New standard. I never let someone walk over me like that again. I take back command of my own life, my own personhood, and. And I'm going to live my life as the truth of who I am without bowing down or trying to live somebody else's permission or projection of that. That's a big change for people's lives. It's a big change. So let's find what is it that it is time for you to forgive? What is it? It's just time for you to forgive it. You know, I don't pretend it's always easy, but there's plenty of tools out there. I think there's a YouTube episode I did one time called how to Let Go. How to Let Go. It's a powerful one. But I love to combine these. Forgive and set new standards. And forgiving yourself is primary. And setting new standards of behavior for yourself is also primary. And if I can take a minute to share a story with you all, I don't usually share. I think I've shared four or five times that High Performance Academy in the last decade, maybe, but it's an important one to me. You know, when I was a young kid and was in a relationship that many of, you know, kind of had fallen apart, was the girl I thought I was going to marry when I was in high school and college. And then in middle of college, she had cheated on me. And that spiraled me down into forced, you know, discouragement and hatred and anger and then into depression and then into suicidal thoughts. And then I had the accident. Fortuitously, that kind of changed my life. One of the greatest things I still feel like literally in my life, one of the greatest scenes of my life and moments of my life when I look back, that I'm so glad I did and was one of the hardest, scariest things I did, especially as a young kid, you know, was after I survived the accident and I healed. When I went back to school, I. I called her. The girl that broke my heart. I called her and I. She was at a sorority. She was staying at a sorority, living in a sorority. And I called. I got somebody. They went and found her. She came to this, the phone. Who is this? And it's Brendan. And she was like. I could just hear the silence. I said, hey, don't hang up. I actually, I've been in an accident. I'm okay, but I wanted to say something to you and apologize. And she goes, what now remember she had cheated on me. But I also, also wasn't playing victim in the sense of I had realized too I wasn't a great person. I was a 19 year old kid. I didn't know how to be in a good relationship. I didn't know how to much about relationships at the time. I didn't know much about myself. Young kid too. And I'd acted so angrily and upset and hurt and called her terrible names after she had cheated on me, wrote her horrible emails. This is just when emails was coming out. So I felt really bad. My first actions on emails were like calling a person negative, horrible names even though they'd done something wrong. I didn't react well. So I apologized for that. I said, listen, my accident has taught me that life is short and all I desperately want to do is live and love and matter and I don't want to hold on to the hurt anymore and I don't want you to do it either. And so I basically explained to her, I want to let you know I'm not mad about anything that happened. I'm sorry for the way I reacted to it. And honestly, I wish you nothing but joy, health and love in your life. And there was this long silence and then I heard her sobbing because she shared with me that she had every day read those emails, those horrible emails I had written her and that she hated herself. I had no idea, you know, I just, I was in my own world. We often don't know the pain that other people feel by their own actions. We might not ever see it, they might not say anything about it, but most people, they feel terrible about doing wrong things. They do. You don't know it, but they do, you know. And so what I share with you is that act of calling a person who'd done wrong and letting that energy go and saying, listen, I just want you to know I don't have an ill will for you anymore. It was like the most freeing thing that ever happened in my life. We had nice conversation. Nothing amazing, spectacular, but nice conversation. But hung up. But when I hung up, I hung up. The hurt, when I hung up, the pain was gone. When I just let it go, everything was different. But I didn't just forgive. I also set a new standard for myself. And that's why I'm telling you forgive and set a new standard. Because I forgave and I said never again, never again will I do these specific things in a relationship. Never again will I allow other people to do These certain things in a relationship. From now on, I will never hold on pain and hurt like that. From now on, I will never lash out at people who hurt me. I will never go on that low road again of that hurt young, tiny little kid who just is so angry. Instead, I said, no, no, I'm going to demand that I forgive this. Because if I don't forgive this and put it down now, I will carry it for my life. And I'm not willing to carry it for my life. I want to be free. I want to let it go and be free of life, free, feel good. I'm not saying all of you need to pick up a phone and call somebody and forgive them. But I would love for you, at least in your own mind, to make that call to yourself, to say, okay, I screwed up. I made some bad choices, I did some bad things. I'm not proud of these things here or there, but I gotta let that anger go. I gotta forgive myself. I gotta move on. I gotta change. And so here's the new standards. The new standards are, from now on, I'm a person like this, and I treat people like this, and I do these things. And that's what I mean. A new standard says, I am now a person like this. So in your journal, write that down. I am now a person like this. Describe yourself. Who are you now in this comeback story? Describe yourself. I'm a person now who is like this. And then write, I'm a person who treats people like this. And then write, I'm a person who does these things. Your habits or your actions or your routines. And for me, it was stuff like this. It was like, I am a person who is compassionate and respectful of other people, no matter what they are going through. I'm not going to judge, I am not going to get angry. And I am not a person who gets hooked up on other people's behavior. Because isn't it true other people's behavior is always going to be upsetting, frustrating, challenging? Is it true we can always judge other people and hate on other people, but then we're living in judgment and hatred in ourselves? I said, I am not a person who does that. I'm a person who is empathetic, compassionate, understanding, patient, or at least not hooked on other people's behaviors. That was a big standard for me. I will not get hooked on other people's behaviors. Some of you read the four agreements, right? You've read four agreements. And you know it says, first agreement, I'm not going to take things personally. Other people's behaviors are not about you. I said that. That was a big change. I'm not getting hooked about other people's behaviors because their behaviors aren't about me. That's about them. So I'm not going to get hurt, angry, or hooked by other people's behaviors. That's my new standard. That was a game changer. Imagine that at 20 years old. I'm not going to get hooked by other people's behaviors. Talk about freedom. Come on, people. That's freedom. When you are no longer hooked on other people's stories and behaviors in your next chapter because you got too hurt, too angry, too upset about people's inevitable crap in the old chapters, think about how angry, mad and upset you were always about other people in the last chapters. In those chapters where you're frozen, frozen, upset, angry, frustrated, how often that happened because it was about other people. New chapter. You're free. Time to be free. That's it. It's time to be free. The standards that we set can free us. The standards that we set can free us. My standard was, no longer am I going to be hooked by other people's crap. Hallelujah. Let's go. I also said in treating other people, I am always going to treat other people with dignity, even if I don't like them. I'm always going to give people respect even if I don't like them. Because I'm not going to lower myself in any interaction with another human being. I'm going to play the high road. I'm going to act for my highest self. It doesn't mean I might not walk away and go, I don't like that person. But I am not going to mistreat people. Think about that. I am not going to mistreat people because she mistreated me. And so what did I do? I mistreated her. And so I perpetuated that cycle. And that means if you're perpetuating the cycle, you, you're just as bad as the perpetrator. If you perpetuate the cycle, you're just as bad as the perpetrator. Think about that for a minute. So if someone mistreated you and you mistreat them, and now you mistreat other people because that person mistreated you, who's the bad guy? I said new standard, Brandon. You don't mistreat people. Whoa, 20 year old kid, man, right? Game changer. That's the new standard. You don't mistreat people, Brendan. You just don't. Even if you Want to. You don't. I grew up in a very physical environment in which, you know, both punishment and culture were, you know, a lot of fights. You know, I grew up getting punched in the face, slapped around, smacked, belted, wasn't good. But because I grew up in that very physical environment, I also developed a thing in high school and college that I fought people, and I got in physical fights very quickly. Someone got upset, I'd get in a fight. I took martial arts most of my life so that I could be able to defend myself or fight at that stage of my life. And I said, I don't want to do that no more. I don't want to hurt people. What's that about? What is about my ego that I got to hurt people? New chapter. Brendan, you do not mistreat people. Because you know what? If that's the new chapter, you don't mistreat people or overreact to people. Guess what? Five chapters from now, my friend, you'll be proud of yourself. You'll be proud of yourself that you took the high road. You'll be proud of yourself that you demanded of yourself in the moment to be patient, to be patient, to be thoughtful, or at least not be hooked. This is the new chapter for you, defining the new standards of who you are and how you will treat other people. I also set new standards for myself. I said, you know what? What are some new standards I'm always going to for the rest of my life? Study relationships. That's a new standard. I'm going to study relationships because I don't know anything about them. How did that relationship devolve so bad? I didn't even know what was going on. How did I not know how to communicate my feelings? I'm going to study personal development from now on. I set new standards of learning about life so I could be free of so many of the simple pains of life. Just an idea. Maybe today is the day you forgive yourself. I get that you screwed up. I get that they screwed up, but that was the last chapter. Not this one. This one begins with setting the new standards for yourself. That's where it begins. All right, now we're going to get heavy. Are you guys enjoying this HPX coaching? I hope that you're enjoying this a little bit. I'm challenging a little bit. I'm trying to share some of my own stories and vulnerabilities a little bit. I hope that you're here. I hope that you're enjoying this. So get ready for the hard one. Here we go. Tell the truth. It's time to tell the truth again. You so often in the last discouraging chapters lied to yourself and lied to other people. Now all those tears are stopping. You see the chat roll? Yes, yes, yes. Silence. That I'm telling you what, you got to tell the truth. Okay, if you're unhappy in your marriage, clap your hands. No, if you're, if you're unhappy in your marriage, it's time to tell yourself that truth and share that with the other person. Listen, many of you guys read this thing. I hope. High performance habits. Guess what? Some people don't make it to the end. In the end. That last chapter is called Demonstrate Courage. Demonstrate courage and what I loved about the research, which I didn't know, Courage in the context of long term success basically means that you share your truth, your real thoughts, your real feelings, your real needs. And you're doing that frankly, more consistently than the people around you. And that's so easy to do today because most people are suffering in silence. Most people are stagnating in that same silence. Most people feel something, but they don't have the discourage to explicitly share it with the people around them. But the reason people reach high performance is because they tell the truth to the people around them. They say, you know what I really need is. They say, you know, I've been thinking this. They say, you know, I'm really concerned about this. They say, I know it'd be difficult and the timing is never great, but could we talk about this? Oh man, that stuff's hard. That stuff is hard. I know that stuff's hard, but it's time to tell the truth. You can't change in silence. You can't change if it's fake. You can't change if it's forever false. You can't change your situation, your relationships if no one knows what's up. You got a lot of thoughts up here that you've been carrying sometimes for two, three, four years. You've had that conversation you've been waiting to have for two, three, four years and you still haven't had it. How long is it going to take? If you wanted to share it and it's still locked inside three years later, don't fool yourself. It will still be locked inside 20 years later unless you decide to unlock it now. You are the person holding the key. You are the only person who can demand that you communicate truth in life. No one can give you that key. No one can give you that permission. No one. No one can give enough. High fives hugs, accolades, awards, certifications and approvals. No one gets to do it. And then one day, you gotta face the truth. You gotta face the truth. You gotta face the truth. If you're out of shape, feeling terrible, lacking energy, all day long, you gotta say, geez, man, I feel terrible and I gotta face the truth. It's because of my own behaviors. You gotta say, you know what? I don't feel the intimacy, the vibrancy, the connections in relationship anymore. It's so hard to have that conversation. But how can they improve with you if you don't? Now, I know this is where many of you, if you are trapped in victimhood, you go, ah, ah. But Brennan, I shared the truth one time. I told them what was going on one time. And they were jerks, they were mean, they shot me down, okay? So did everybody else here. We've all been shut down. We've all been discouraged. We've all met, we've been met. We've all made requests and been met with stonewalling. We've all made requests and people minimize us, belittled us, teased us, hurt our feelings. Did you stop because of that? Did you not share with other people what your real thoughts and feelings were because of that? Did you stop living your life? Did you start suffering in silence because that. Listen, it's just like, think about this. A lot of you guys are entrepreneurs. I know this. And think about this. Really think about it. In sales and marketing, they literally tell you to expect like 7 to 30 no's before you get a yes. And you asked three times for something that you wanted in your relationship or in your job and you got turned down three times. So you quit. I'm here to tell us. Most people, they say they have tried everything and the truth is they tried five things and three people said no and they quit. And I'm here to tell you, you never stop speaking truth. So in your journal, maybe a nice activity for you to do is to draw a big line down the middle. And what you do is tell the truth across the top. And you write, tell the truth to other people on the left and tell the truth to yourself on the right. And you list all the truths. It's time to face in your life. It's time to face the truth that my 16 year old hates me. It's time to face the truth that my relationship lost the pop. It's time to face the truth that I'm not moving towards finishing this book. It's time to face the truth that I keep blaming other people and doing this, you know, doesn't feel good. But it's the first step, and it's a bold first step. Second step is I want to make sure everybody around you, every. Everybody around you, the haters, the doubters, I want everybody, everybody around you should know, should know what your dream, mission or goals are. That takes real courage. And you know what? It will benefit you. See, many of you know the story from high forms, habits. The woman who I had the blessing of coaching who became a gold medalist, I love her story. I asked, what was it that took her from, you know, a good athlete who was doing good at, like, world championships to a gold medalist? And all she said was, she said, I finally started telling people, everybody around me, I want to be gold medalist. She's told everybody around her, I want to, I want to be gold medalist, told everybody. And I love this statement. I hope I get it right. But she said something to the effect of like, hey, when you start shouting from the rooftops in life what you want, don't be surprised when the village idiots come out and start pointing at you and making fun of you. But the good news is the village elders will often tend to come out and they'll look up and say, you know what? I know how to help her. Hey, let's do something for this young man or young woman trying. She shouted it from the rooftops. It's important. I remember when I, at the beginning of my career, I started sharing with people. I said, I really want to reach more people online with personal development training than anyone has ever done. And I literally just started telling people that I want to reach more people online with personal development training. Not inspiration, not memes. They didn't have those back then. You know, not cute little videos like actual training on personal development than anyone had ever done. And, you know, we people just came out, whoa, whoa. Here's how to do video or here's how to launch a course or do, you know, email marketing, you know, do you know how to do this? Why don't you do a podcast, you know, do a blog, and they make all these recommendations. And sometimes I was overwhelmed by all of it, but I grabbed a few of those things. I started moving forward. I made all the difference in the world. I told people. That was my truth. And it was scary. Who was I? Some geeky kid still, but not some geeky kid to say, I want to reach more people with personal development training online than anyone has ever done. And we blew past that like four years ago now, you know, with 20 plus online courses in personal development. No one has been more prolific in their hours of training, not entertainment, training online in personal development than we were. And it's not because I'm fancy. It's because I told so many people. They helped me, they shared it, they saw it, they got behind the mission. And so I'm here. Please, please. In your last chapters, you strove alone too much and that's why you got discouraged so easy. But when you strive with other people, even on the days you get discouraged, someone's going to text you and cheer you on. Someone's write that email, someone will say something beautiful to you and you're going to keep moving on. And that's the game changer. Social support can only come from you sharing your truth. Everyone goes, brandon, no one supports me. I go, you probably haven't shared your truth enough. Well, no, I told him one time, not enough. Well, they don't like not enough. Social support comes from sharing your truth. Doesn't work backwards. People don't just all of a sudden show up and love you, love you, love you. And then you get to tell your truth. It goes the other way around. Got it. Next big idea. So let me recap where we've been. Number one, don't wait until the conditions are perfect to start the new chapter now. Number two, change from the victim mindset to the role model mindset. Number three, forgive yourself and other people, but set those new standards. Next up, tell the truth. Okay, next thing. If you are in that comeback story, know that one of the primary, major, most important things you can do in this next stage, new chapter, is to deepen your relationships, the ones you already have. Here's what people make the mistake of. They want to change their life, but they keep looking for new people outside of what they already got to move forward or get bigger or succeed more. I'm here to tell you that every failure, frustration, step back of people I've worked with at the top levels, the way that they reengaged and came back wasn't through millions of new people. Maybe they got in a new mastermind. Maybe they went to a seminar, Maybe they got two or three new friends. Maybe they got a new therapist or coach. We'll talk about all that. But the primary thing that happened was they repaired and deepened the relationships they already had. And that rejuvenated their heart and their spirit. And so I know some of you are always looking outside of your current friendships. You're looking outside of your current relationships and you're always hoping that something new Comes in. But it's like that old story, acres of Diamonds. You know, the character travels the world looking for wealth and abundance and goes through all this hardship and terror and awful things only to come back in their backyard and one day to go plant a tree and puts their spade in the ground and finds diamonds, the earth or gold in the earth. So what I tell you is deepen the relationships you do have. Whether those relationships, family, friends, or intimate, or those you work with or you lead with. Like, here's what I found. A lot of you all. We have a lot of my members here who are in my high level masterminds. And I taught this little framework about how, what do you want after you have everything you thought you wanted? So after you got everything you thought you wanted, what is it I discovered that people want Next. And one of the things we all want next, after you made the money, or after you've already had the success, or the white picket fence or the house, the kids, or the car, the job, the career of the following. People are genuinely insatiable. So what else do they want? Well, here's what they want. Sometimes your next level up is your next level of depth. Your next level of depth in your career, your skill set, your craft, but most importantly, the next level of depth in your relationships. If you're going to have a comeback story, you need to deepen the relationships you have now. Every, every story, even the unlikely stories that we think is just skill is not usually that. I'll give you an example. Tiger woods come back from relative obscurity or hatred or failures in his career, and literally injuries, everything that could be stacked against somebody was stacked against the guy. And everyone said, no, he's not going to win again. No. And then what? And everyone says, oh, it must be his new swing. It must be his new attitude. Yes. And he repaired the relationships in his life. He created greater connections with friends, with his caddy, with his coaches. He opened up and became a vulnerable human instead of someone who's always pushing away people. He went deep in relationships again. And that's the untold story. And everyone thinks it's the new swing or his back felt better. Hey, those were contributors. But when you have a wellspring of love to act from, you are more powerful. Stop surfacing over your relationships and deep. Go deep, my friend. I mean deep. Deepen that relationship with your lover, your spouse, your partner. Deepen the relationship with your kids. Deepen the relationship with the people you lead that you work with. It's scary to do that. Because you might get hurt. But you know what? What's better? What's better? Living your life in a way that you lived an unlived life or living your life that you gave your full heart even if you got hurt? I always tell people, hey, if the worst thing I ever did in my life is that I fall in love with people too easily and people have taken advantage of me, oh, woe is me. At least I live a full, open hearted life. You got it. You got it. Listen, deepen those relationships, my friends. Deepen them. Full heart, full connection. You don't. Everyone says, gosh, I wish I had more money. I go, where would you do that? Money. You know what? Everyone always says what they would do with more money. It always ends up being one of three things. One, it's material gain, I get more money, I'm going to buy stuff, I'm just going to have a better house, better car, yachts, trains, planes, automobiles, servants. I don't know, something. Number two, it's always about, oh, well, you know, maybe I want to contribute better, give better things. But then number three, it's like, I'll have more time with what? More time with my family, my loved ones. If I had greater wealth. And I'm like, you don't need greater wealth to have more time with your family and friends. You need to put them all in a car and go to the park. Come on, stop at the store, Get a bunch of salads, sandwiches, chips, salsa, guacamole. Get some of those, you know, the iced tea, drinks some ice. Go buy a cheap blanket or two, throw it on that grass, Sit out in the park or the yard and talk with people. Relationships are made there. Not here. Not on email, not on social. Like, deepen the relationships. Because listen, at the end of your life, what is standing around your bed? A bunch of phones with legs? No, what's standing around you? Your loved ones, your supporters, your friends. The people who you've created a life and a legacy with. So don't wait. Deepen those relationships. Your comeback story is intimately tied to your personal relationships. Your comeback story is intimately tied to your personal relationships. So geek out on improving your relationships. And if you're a person who like me in my 20s, I was like, I don't have time for that. Well, then time won't be your friend, my brother and my sister. If you don't have time for relationships, I'm telling you, time won't be kind to you. Because what time will give you is tremendous loneliness. What time will give you Is lack of the difference or abundance you could have had if you had simply deepened your relationships. Because, listen, you can't grow your team, you can't lead your business. You can't make more money without deeper relationships. You just can't. You can't. Everyone thinks it's about more volume of relationships. I'm like, it's about better quality of the relationships you have. So let's dig deep. Let's make sure this next comeback chapter. Listen, many of you in your mind, your comeback chapter, that next stage, that next level. For you, it's all about achievement and accomplishment for yourself. Make sure that first chapter in the comeback story is not an ego chapter. Make it a relationship chapter, and everything changes. Repair those relationships, reconnect, deepen. And that's the turn of the book. It's not the next achievement of. Of the external to feed the ego. It's the next connection of the internal heart and intimacy with another person. Friendship, leadership, marriage, family, friends. That's where life lives. Life lives in those moments where we're often in real relationship with other people. I know you guys know this stuff, but my job is your high performance coach is sometimes to remind you of the essentials and to live a principled life. You know, the principles of life come back to, who are we being? How are we relating with other people? What are we creating and contributing? How are we growing? And some of you, I know you got amazing relationships. Deepen them. Add on one more. Some of you don't repair. Deepen them. Add on one more. You know, I always tell people, it's like, well, Brenda, I don't have people say to me, well, I don't have any friends, Brendan. I'm like, you got one good friend. They go, yeah. Next time you go out with your one good friend, ask them to bring one other of their one good friends and expand your network of the goodness. I hope that will help you. I know that many of you guys know this, but my job as your coach is to help you revisit some things. Let's live a principled and connected life. That's my hope for us. Okay? Important things to do on the comeback story, my friends. Here we go. In this comeback, it is very important that you do some very simple things. Here we go. This one. You got to lock in your schedule. Lock in your schedule. You got to lock in a schedule. What do I mean by this? Listen so much. When you are discouraged. When you are discouraged, you tend to be disorganized. Those go really well together, right? I'm discouraged, so I'm not gonna make any plans. I'm discouraged, so I don't want a lot of, like, you know, I don't want a lot of, like, obligations. I'm fearful, so I'm not going to plan forward steps. Because you know what? When you're discouraged, uncertainty feels more comfortable than certain action. Kind of a mind bender, isn't it? When you're actually discouraged, uncertainty is an easier friend than certain action. Because when you're down on yourself, why organize yourself? You follow? When you're down on yourself or detached from future goodness because you're discouraged. Now, you don't have that compelling future to schedule into. And what I tell people is, when you turn that page, new chapter, get organized. Organize thyself, my friends. Have that date on the calendar in which you are working on yourself. Block that time in which you are moving towards your dreams. Schedule those things that you know are hard, that you must learn and you must master. Look out on that calendar and see that what you are doing is not calendaring. You are character building. My calendar is a reflection of my character. My calendar is a reflection of my contributions. My calendar is my friend. That calendar weaponizes my contribution to the world. And when it is empty, I know I'm discouraged. When it is empty, I know I've taken a step back. When it's empty, when there's no plans, there's very little potential being activated, isn't there? So I got to go. Okay, what's going on? I know some of you very experienced high performers, extraordinary people. I know what you do. You say, well, Brendan, I actually have a very busy schedule. I've got tons of things blocked and scheduled. But I'm still discouraged. And I say, okay, then what we must do is lock into that schedule. Passion, Passion. Blocks of time to do something you are passionate about. Simple things. Like, let me give you an example. When I many times in my life been discouraged or hurt or injured or down or sad or frustrated or unhappy, I will lock in a time on my schedule. Literally. It will literally say on my calendar or now in my high performance planner that we have those items, it would literally just say, read book. That's it. And I'll schedule in 30 minutes, hour, just to do nothing but read a book. Because I love reading. I lock that in. It's not there once every other month. It's like, okay, I lock that in three times this week for one full hour, I'm going to read a book. Because I'm locking in a passion. I'm Locking in something good for me. Because we must feel on a regular basis throughout the week that. That we are doing things that are good for us, that feel good for us, that we engage with, that we like. When we do that, there's a momentum that comes because each week, bam, we're tapping that rim of our passions. And when you tap that rim of your passions, enough. With enough touch points, what happens is like. Like life comes back on you. Breathe. You're like, oh, yes, here we go. This is what it was supposed to feel like. And maybe that touch point of passion for you, that's just alone time with your kids. Maybe it's, you know, firing up the video camera or the podcast. Maybe it's quilting. Maybe it's meditating. Maybe it's working out. Maybe it's taking a walk. Maybe it's going for a swim. Maybe it's calling a friend. I don't know what it is for you, but you better know what it is for you. One of our famous lines in High Performance Academy, I don't know what it is specifically for you, but. But the concept is clear, passionate blocks of time, those have to be locked in. Lock in the good habits, good behaviors, good routines, good actions of your life. Lock it in. Stop having such a squirrely schedule all over the place. Because guess what? One of the reasons we get discouraged is because we have a lack of control. Right? One of the reasons we get a discouragement is because we have a lack of control in our life. So it's not that we have to control everything, but if we can add some things that we have controlled, scheduled for, and built that are good for us, it's a different experience. I hope that makes sense. It's just a different experience. You got to have those touch points every week where you're like, oh, I love that I did that. I'm glad that I scheduled that. I feel better because of that. If you don't have those, you'll get the end of the week and be like, it was a slog. I know some of you have that you're having week after week after week of slog, slog, slog, slog, slog because you didn't lock in the schedule. Some passion time, fun time, rejuvenation time, connection time. Get that back in the calendar. I think you get it. Yeah, you got it. Here we go. As part of that in your comeback story, the only way that can happen is if your energy is better than the last chapters. That means you got to prioritize your wellness. You Got to prioritize wellness. As Oprah would say, wellness, oh my gosh. You got to prioritize your wellness. It's got to be so important to you now, your wellness. You already know this from High Performance Academy. I hope you know this from my high performance work. I hope you've taken my wellness masterclass. I hope you guys just get this. You got to prioritize your wellness. That is your sleep, that is your nutrition. That is taking, taking care of your mental brain and relaxing, releasing tension, meditating. That is working out. Specifically making your health as optimized as you possibly can. Because when your health is optimized, listen, when you have buoyant energy, you're this annoying. No, when you have buoyant energy, all this stuff that usually trips off people, you laugh it off. When you got positive energy in your heart, your soul, your spirit, your physical body, it's so much easier to meet the world with positivity and deal with the nonsense and the junk out there. Wellness, so important. I know, Listen, here is what people do with wellness. Listen, watch what happens. Watch two of these cards come together in a magical truth about life. Here we go, mixing it up. Watch what happens. We know we should do this, but we do that. Oh, I'll get healthy when I have more time or money. Oh, I'll get healthy or I'll sleep more when the kids are gone. Oh, I'll get healthy when I finally make enough to hire that organic chef who will come over and make me three meals a day. I mean, oh my God, all the things we tell ourselves. Oh, I'll sleep well better. I'll eat well better. I'll work out better. When? No, when. Yeah, tomorrow. Let's go. That's what you got to do. No more waiting to prioritize your self care. Listen, if I could reach through and grab your brain and switch it, it would be from that striver mentality that will strive at all costs to wreck your body. And I would switch that brain powder into self care mode. Every great athlete who achieved the greatest things. Listen, if you haven't studied like Tom Brady's book, I think you call it TB12. If you read Tom Brady's book, you start to understand. Oh, the reason he's the best in the history of the world, the greatest of all time. Very, very few people would argue that the greatest of all time read his book. Look how he cares for himself. Wow. No kidding, right? I don't know how you guys are, but I was one of those guys. I wouldn't go Work out unless I felt like working out. And a really, really smart, amazing Olympic coach said to me, brennan goes, do you feel like Olympians and athletes feel like working out every time, Brendan? And they only do it when they want to. I said, no, you need a trigger or you need something to help you go do it. And I said, well, what do you do? And here's what he told me. He goes, well, I wake up or when some, when I. I've scheduled the time to work out, if I don't feel like it, he goes, I take a pre workout energizer, I put my earphones on, I crank it and I start walking there. And once, or driving there or whatever. He never, he just got in motion. And I was, I never took pre workout energizers because a lot of them have like two 200 milligrams of caffeine. Could you imagine me on 200 milligram? I'd have a heart attack. I'm not caffeinated right now, just for the record. I mean, I just, I can't do those kinds of things. So I started saying, okay, well, that makes sense to me sometimes. I know, I know many of you guys have told me in the past too, in this forum, you'll have like coffee before you go work out because you'll get some caffeine or you'll do something. It's just a principle of me getting to work out more. And I prioritize my wellness. This is so important to me. How can I do next week? I gotta be on stage five days. Every day I'm on stage, on average, I'm standing 13 hours a day. Standing 13 hours a day, teaching. Usually about seven or eight out of those hours. But standing backstage, front stage, walking down, it's an incredibly difficult thing. And if I didn't prioritize wellness, I would be going into that burnt out and there'd be no chance for me. But you, I know sometimes you think you're different than me or we separate. And I mean, I'm here to tell you, you are on the world stage and your energy matters. The kids see whether or not you are practicing wellness. The team sees whether or not you have the enthusiasm and the pop anymore. It is important for you. I know you know this, but I'm just trying to help. Help you understand how important this is, right? How important this is. Okay, next up. I think this is really important in your next chapter. At some point, at some point, you must get a coach. Now, I know I'm your virtual coach today. But I want you at one point in your career or in your life in the next chapter or section, get a one on one coach or trainer or something. Somebody who lifts you to your highest and they are accountable for that. One on one. One on one. Many of you know I recommend certified high performance coaches because I certify them. And this is not duplicitous because I'm not trying to ask to be your one on one coach. There's no upsells here today. Okay? What I want you to do though is have that gift of one person. I'm doing it virtually for you but where you literally sit down and you have that dialogue in depth with one person whose whole career or job is, is on that point with you. Right there. It is game changing. It's just oh it's so huge to have that as a gift to yourself. And here's why I'm reference that. That is one of the ultimate gifts to yourself. So give that to yourself before you buy yourself the next new car or you know, the next new fancy whatever at one point in your life, spring getting a coach. I tell everybody, people say hey Brendan, I have new abundance. What should I do with them? Get a coach. Because until you've had that experience, you don't know your full potential. Next one. And you guys are doing this one with me. But I want to encourage you to dork out at another level because it is the comeback story. Every comeback story that I have ever seen in my life started with this one. Dive deep into personal development. That's pd. Dive deep into personal development. I want you each listen, go to your bookshelf, grab those personal development books you have not yet read, stack them up onto your desk and start working through them like, like read that personal development again. Just like get into it. I'm not talking. Listen. Going to be very, very, very clear on this one. As a recommendation to all my friends here, everybody here, here's my recommendation. I want you to dig deep into the personal development and I want you to do it three specific ways. Number one, Number one, do monthly scheduled personal development kick butt. But number two, I want you to be always, every day. Listen. Every day. This is my 30 day challenge for all you people. Team HBX. Let's go. 30 days. For 30 days I want every one of you every day, every day to read personal development for 30 minutes every day. Now on average, on average most people in North America are spending at least 75 minutes on social media every day. Not for work, just like browsing. So What I'm going to ask you to do is cut into that and read from a book. A book, Buck. Real book. Not listen to it. Read. Even if you go, but Brandon, I'm a bad reader. Even if you say, but, Brenda, I'm dyslexic. Book. I want to challenge you to read a book in personal development every day for 30 minutes. 30 day personal development reading challenge. Every day, 30 minutes. I'm going to promise you you're at the best month of your life because it forces you and challenges you to look at your life in a different way. It really does. It's so key. I know that many of you already have this practice you're listening to podcasts you're doing, but I want you to do a book. A real physical book. It's different. I think it's important that we do it offline and with multimedia. No, no, just with the book. A good old fashioned book. Yourself or in the house, whatever's going on, but just, you know, physical, real book. Read it right in the margins or on your. But like in about 30 minutes, a day of personal development. I've done it pretty much 22 years of my life, and I've never seen a comeback story where someone didn't dive deep into personal development again, including a Tiger woods, including, you know, Olympic athletes, but also including people who just were down and out and had a crappy. Like, how many of you ever, like, you were just. You were in a bad space in your life and then you read Personal Development and you changed. That's me. Suicidal kid started reading. I started reading Wayne Dyer, Dale Carnegie and texts from Earl Nightingale. Stuff that was like game changer to me. I would read if I were you. Read some Dale Carnegie because it's classic. Read some Dale Carnegie. Anything from Dale Carnegie. Read it. Okay. Anything from Dale Carnegie. I would absolutely read that. For personal development. I deeply, deeply loved, for me, at that stage of my life was really important. I read the Dao of Pooh, and that's Tao Pooh, the Dao of Pooh, which was a story of Winnie the Pooh kind of learning Taoism. It's kind of like Daoism told through Winnie the Pooh. It basically is the best way to learn how to relieve stress and not get hooked about dumb drama in your life. It helped me get rid of drama. Man's Search for Meaning was the third, like, most pivotal book in my life. Man's Search for Meaning. So many of you guys have that stuff. Okay, I got a challenge for you. A hard One. Here we go. In this next chapter screenshot, put it on your wallpaper. Be decisive and confident. This go around. One of my favorite thing to teach leaders. And I know you're leaders, you're going to be leaders. You have the opportunity to lead, listen. Leaders who make big decisions in their companies often listen, often do not have all the information they need to be decisive. It's that famous story of, let's see, who was it of Jeff Bezos at Amazon saying, hey, to Amazon, we tend to make decisions to move forward. We might only have 40% certainty or 40% of the data and we got to make the call and we move. That's decisive. If you keep waiting for all the information, you won't be decisive. Be decisive and confident. Now, here's the thing. When you've been discouraged for a long time, that's hard. When you're discouraged, you don't want to be decisive. That's why I need you to be decisive. If you will break you out of discouragement, it will teach your brain. Go, oh, shoot, she just did it. She's moving ahead. Let's go. Holy mackerel, she did it. She made the decision. Whoa. You allow your own mind and brain. Team HP X that's what's going to happen. Wow yourself with your decisiveness. You're going to move, decide, going to change, change, going to start the thing, start the thing to do this, do it, be decisive on it and then most importantly, confident. Remember, confidence means you believe in your ability to figure things out. But also, also what I want you to really get into your heads. Listen to this. Like, you hoard that old thing. Like sometimes you fake it till you make it. I never liked that. But there's an essence and a kernel of truth. And that's why people still say it, is that sometimes you just got to show up and be confident and do the thing. Even if you don't know how it's going to turn out, even if you don't know exactly what to do, you can be confident in self that you will figure it out with enough time, energy, effort, mentorship, learning. So what I encourage you to do is be confident. Like, listen, it's so hard for you guys because not all of you have known me for a very long time and I was not, not a confident person when I was younger. And the whole idea, for example of me, when I started my career, they wanted us to go to networking events. And a networking event was my like, you know, kryptonite. I was like, no, I don't want to what? No, I don't want to go in a room of scary people. And what I had to do is learn to walk into the room confident that I would make a connection with one person. I was not trying to listen. Confidence should be simply metered. And what I mean by that is, listen. I didn't say, I'm going to go in that networking event and everybody's going to love me. It wasn't like that at all. I didn't think I had to win the room. I didn't have to go be the life of the party. I said, I'm going to go in this room, and I am confident I will make one connection with one person that feels real. In other words, confidence will easily, more easily come to you when you don't try to bite off more than you can chew, when you don't try to win the world, but you try to do one thing and do it well. So if you're going to start your business, do it confidently. Pick one thing and do that thing well. You know, do one thing well, Connect with one person well. It's like, stop thinking you have to be perfect or win the whole world because that's, you know what, that's intimidating. But you can be confident in your ability to figure things out or connect with one person. I know you can. Confident. I want you to lift that chest, take that breath in, walk in, smile, even if inside you're a little scared. And then tell people, hey, how you doing? I'm a little scared, but I'm really excited to meet you. That's it. How easy is that? It's just being honest, right? It's being honest. Confidence says, I am good with myself. I am okay, because I believe I will figure it out, you know, and the more that you believe you figured out, the more you will try to figure out. The more you figure it out, the more confident you will get. The more confident you get, the more you'll try to figure new things out. The more competence you'll get, the more confidence you'll get. We talk about it all the time in high performance studies. The competence confidence loop. I want you to approach this next stage. Confident. Confident. Read High performance habits. What was the one differentiator in all of the research across all six habits? The last chapter. I hope you got there. The last chapter said, the funniest thing is all of these habits are amplified in their effectiveness when a person is more confident than another person. Now, it doesn't mean they're better than another person. It just Means they'll rate higher and improve each of these. You improve these easier and do these easier. When you come from a place of self trust, that confidence says, I'll believe in my ability to figure things out. That's it. That's what matters. Last big idea. Okay, here we go. Oh, I know. I'm coming down on the wire, guys. I hope you're enjoying the session. Here we go. Last big idea for everybody. In this next comeback story, here's what I want you to do every step of the way. In this next comeback story, we said share your truth, right? Tell the truth. I also want you to share your journey because last time when you were discouraged, you didn't tell anybody because you were waiting for the accolade, the payoff, the trophy before you celebrated and talked about it and told people what you were laboring towards. I want the people around you to see, hear and feel your journey. Tell them what you want, but also tell them, this is hard. This is difficult. Here's what I did today, like, bring people along on your journey. Now, many of you know you got to do that in social media, right? Take people on a journey with you. You'll build a bigger tribe, Team hpx, Right? You'll be a bigger tribe if you're sharing your journey and taking people with you. But you'll also get more social support, not just when you say what you want, but when you're sharing what you are doing. Hey, guys, I did this today. I tried that. I'm down because this didn't work. I'm struggling here. Like, you've got to start sharing the journey, not just the payoff. Many of you only talk about your stuff when it works and that is why you're so discouraged. Because guess what? Most of the time, it doesn't work. That means most of the time you've been in a place where you're silently striving without any support because you're not sharing the journey. More of your sharing the journey, not just social media, with your family, with your friends, let them know, stop trying to be perfect. Because trying to be perfect is why that first chapters often were so marked by discouragement. Being down, being frustrated, being hard on yourself because you thought you had to be perfect. But the more you share your journey, the more you realize, hey, it's okay. I don't have things figured out. Look, no one's judging me. I shared that. I suck at this. I'm trying to do that. Everyone's cool. Hey, life is good. Life is good. When you're Sharing your journey. Life is miserable when you're striving in silence. All right, my friends, I hope that this gave you a taste, a feeling, a sense of a note, something to write down, something that was true for you today. You can keep reaching higher performance in your life if you keep revisiting this personal development, if you keep doing the work, if you keep striving, stay committed, I'll show up. Will you? I'll show up. Will you? I'll give the best I got. Will you? What we are doing here together is keeping each other lifted up, cheering each other on, growing together. I hope that it is still very valuable for each and every single one of you. I'm proud of you for dedicating your time today for personal development with me or anybody else. You being on this path and committed to you, growing and serving and giving, it's an honor. We believe that everybody wants to be more vibrant. I hope you felt that today. We believe everyone wants to be more connected. I tried to weave that through what we're doing and, and we believe everyone wants to be more excellent, driven at what they do so they can be more. More successful, have more abundance, contribute better. So I hope there was some excellence that you felt today, that you felt challenged to get back on your A game, to rise, to claim your comeback story. My friends, it's your time. So go out there and live that high performance experience. And as my wife Denise is always saying, which I love, she says, listen, every single day you have a choice. You can either choose to be average or you can choose to be extraordinary. So, my friends, go be extraordinary. Hey, it's Brenda. I just wanna thank you for watching my channel. There's so many other teachings and trainings on this channel, so please enjoy. Thanks for being here. Also, for those who wanna go to another level, I have an upcoming Certified High Performance Coach certification week. This is where I teach you and certify you to become a world class life coach. We call them Certified High Performance coaches. You can click the link in the description right now to apply and to learn about our upcoming certification week. If you want to go to another level as a life coach and you want me to certify you and help you, make sure you click that link and take advantage of it right now. Enrollment is open today.