How To NEVER Fear Failure

There comes a time in the lives of those destined for greatness when we must ask why, having been endowed with the heart of a lion, do we live as mice? The tasks of the world aren't you. And the tasks of the world don't need to shape your mindset. Your mindset can shape how you deal with the tasks of the world. That's a beautiful thing. This is a week we are talking about mindset and how important that is to not just have happiness and greater success or fulfillment or connection in your life, but all of those. Yes, for sure. But also just so that life doesn't feel like a slog and a burnout experience where just every day you're just like, you know, that's mindset. The tasks of the world aren't you. And the tasks of the world need to shape your mindset. Your mindset can shape how you deal with the tasks of the world. And that's a beautiful thing. And, Jamie, you were sharing. I don't know what the story is yet, y', all, but she had something happen. You were sharing some mindset or something happened when you checked in the hotel or.

Yeah, this was a crazy morning. So why not share it live? Why not share it live?

I haven't heard the story.

So, you know, we're doing a big event Monday. So I flew cross country. I am near Miami and checked into a hotel and I was out doing my morning walk this morning. Right. This is a whole story on mindset that literally moved me to tears this morning. And I want to share with everyone because I think a lot of people out there might be in a season of, I don't know, just feeling like they are struggling and setbacks and things aren't going your way. I want to talk today, Brendon, about the mindset around not fearing rejection and not fearing what feels like failure at the time. And I was just, like, blindsided by something out of the blue this morning. So I'm out doing my morning walk in this, you know, in this hotel, my mask on, all this stuff, out doing my morning walk. I walk through a hallway and I was like, whoa. I had a memory that I had forgotten about in this actual hotel nine years ago. And I want to share it with everybody. So nine years ago in this hotel just outside of Miami, there is a big beauty summit there. Right? I was a few years into building my company and we had heard no's for a couple years. And I remember my husband and Paulo and I were here, right here at this very hotel. I had forgotten about this until today. And I walked in the hallway where something happened and exactly where something happened. So it was a huge beauty summit. And this is after a couple years of rejection. And there was, I don't know, maybe a thousand people there. And Ulta Beauty. Ulta Beauty, which is the largest department store, largest beauty retailer in the country. Their CEO was there and their head buyer at the very front table, like, this round table. Meanwhile, we're in the very back of the. And I just remember, you know, this moment where I, like, had to muster up all the courage inside of me and to beeline straight for that table after hearing no's for a couple years. Went right up to the CEO who normally wouldn't take meetings. It's not the person that told me no. Right. It would be a buyer that tells you no. Walked straight up to the CEO, like, mustered every ounce of courage, trying to forget all the rejection, and just introduced myself, and he introduced me to the head buyer. And I just pitched my heart out to Ulta Beauty.

And.

And I remember they agreed to a meeting. So then I walk out of this room, right? It's this ballroom in this hotel. I walk out of this room right into the hallway in this very hotel I'm in, talking to you live from right now. Walk out in the hallway, and I see the two founders of Gussie Ranker that do all the infomercials, like, proactive, Tony Robbins, you know, all the infomercials. And I had been pitching them for two years, and they'd been saying no. Their teams have been saying no. So I see Bill Gussie and Greg Wenker in the hall. I've never met them before. Same thing. Prayed for strength, prayed for courage. Like, had to make that decision of mindset, which is, okay, I'm gonna forget right now that I've been rejected by them for the past two years. I'm gonna put that. And I'm not gonna fear rejection again right now, you know, because I believe in what I'm doing. And I beeline for the founders of Gucci Ranker right outside this, like, courage. A buffet table. Right? Right outside belief, Courage.

I love it.

I love it. Yes. Yes. And they're sitting there snacking on the hors d' oeuvres in between the speaker breaks. I went right up to them, introduced myself, and literally poured my heart, like, pitched everything on how they should. They've been saying no for two years, but they really should say yes because all the things. So this morning, I had forgotten about this, right? The fact that we could barely afford a hotel room in this hotel. In that moment, in that moment nine years ago this morning, I'm not doing my morning walk with my mask, like, not even. And all of a sudden, I walk through that hallway and every single memory hit me from the last time I walked through that hallway. And what had happened since was right now at this moment, like, we got that meeting at Ulta Cosmetics is the number one brand in all of Ulta across the country. We got that meeting with Geffy Ranker, and we became the most successful makeup infomercial they've ever done. And we are right now at this moment. And I was standing there, like, first of all, I start sobbing, remembering all the rejection, but also just appreciating the hustle, appreciating the journey, appreciating the ability to just figure out how to go from doubting myself to, like, stepping into going, okay, I'm going to not fear rejection. I'm going to go for it. And sometimes that is what it takes to change everything. So I'm standing there in the hallway and I start sobbing. Sure, the people working at the hotel are like. But I'm like, wow, I forgot those moments even happened. And I'm walking through them this morning here, getting ready for this huge event, just making the decision to not be afraid of rejection and failure. Just making that decision is huge. Like, huge.

And the courage and the mindset. Well, a. That is a full circle. You know, some people call it full circle moment. We've always called a full courage moment. A full courage moment is when you. You lost the battle, but you kept going. And then you have a victory. And in that victory, you recognize, like, a serendipity or a moment or what Paul Luquela would call an lf. And it just happens. And it's like this. This space where, like, it's almost like a time space where the past and the current moment kind of collide and remind you of your strength, remind you of what you've been through, remind you of something important to your spirit. Or remind you of a moment that was important to your life and that all laugh or that full circle or that full courage moment. I love those. I love those. I've had those in my publishing career. Quite a bit of places I went to read or research or write. And then I later saw my book there and it was like, oh, my gosh. Or places that similar where I sat in a seminar at a conference and it wouldn't be later until I was on the stage speaking later to literally thousands or tens of thousands of people in an arena. And it would hit me. I was there. I was in your seat. I sat in that seat, and I could literally remember the seat. And I'd walk out to the seat, and I go, I was sitting in your seat five years ago. And they were like, oh, my God. I'm, like, right here. And I'd pull the person up on stage with me, and I'm like. And I'd be like, you're me. You're me. And you'd have this conversation, because I think those are magical. I think that you need. You need to take a picture of that hallway and put it. Do a little reel on it or something on your Instagram today or on your stories and make sure everyone. You're all following Jamie on Instagram so you can see that story, because I think that is super powerful. But I'm seeing people saying that this happened to them in divorce and relationships. They met somebody else later on who was the right person for them. People who were having situations when they were waiting for something, and all of a sudden, the achievement came through. There were a lot of different. Like, I was in this place, and then that happened. That's beautiful, Jamie. Congratulations. That's just full courage moment.

Yeah. And it just reminded me, and I think, you know, you know, there are so many. I mean, not to just go deep on this, but when it comes to women in particular, and it's. Again, it could be everybody, but women in particular. So many of us don't try things because we're afraid of failure or we're afraid of rejection or afraid we're not going to do it perfectly or we're not qualified, all those kind of things. And I just. I was reminded of that this morning because just the idea of not fearing rejection, too. Yes, of course. Of being courageous. Yes, of course. Of going for it all tied together, but just like, being okay, you know? Sarah Blakely, founder of Spanx, talks about how growing up at the family table, at the dinner table, every single day, her dad would ask them, you know, they go around the table, and he'd say, tell me something you failed at today. It wasn't like, oh, tell me something you won at. It was, tell me something you failed at. And they'd all go around the table, and it was this idea of normalizing failure, not being afraid of it. And it's like. It's like that whole idea of like, oh, my gosh, how if we didn't fear failure. And I know, and you say this a lot. You Know, no matter how small you start, start something that matters. Right. And so many people, and I also.

Say people don't feel failure and people don't fear starting. They fear being embarrassed.

Yeah.

When they're seen starting small.

Yeah. Yeah.

See, when people have a lot of success and like people who achieve something in their lives and they go to do something again, they know when they fail, it's like, oh, that's part of the process. But when you're beginning, you're so terrified. What does other people think of me? You know, I'm gonna be embarrassed. Cause they think I'm this, but I'm trying to do that. Or if it doesn't work out and we get everyone else's judgments up in our brains and we forget that their judgments are one, usually not qualified, and two, time bound. And I'll give you the example of what you just talked about, your nose that you got from the beauty company, from Guthy, but also a lot of other things that you share about in your book, Believe it. And you even say this in your book, believe it. The nos, like the first pitch that you got from l' Oreal to buy it cosmetics, it was a no. And that time was perfect. You weren't. Or, I'm sorry, from Alan, even on qvc, like talking about, oh, he said no for you being on qvc, which is a great thing because you weren't ready yet.

Yeah. And I didn't know it.

The no's are just preparing you. The no's are going to go, oh, go get better, kid. It's not a no forever. It's a no in that slice of time. And that's what happened in that moment of time. You know, previously they had rejected her, but now they're open, time marches on. And here's what I would tell people. You want believers. You want people to believe and cheer on you. Guess where they're not. Like in a marathon. Yeah. Your family's there at the beginning clapping you to start. But you get the believers at the finish line. You get the real supporters with momentum. You want believers get momentum. So Gothi and others didn't believe in Jamie because she didn't have the level of momentum yet that was required to play it at their level or what they were comfortable with. And then she went and kicked ass, Right? She just went. She just went. Just demolished the marketplace. She gobbled up the marketplace. And it was like, oh, my God, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. It cosmetic. And then they had to take notice. They had to take notice. They had to get on the Jamie train. Otherwise, they were going to miss out because it was clear this thing was leaving town and he was taking the future with it. And I just want you to understand that. So for all those who are freaked out, first, don't con yourself. The greatest gift you can ever give yourself is not conning yourself, not lying to yourself. You're not scared to start small. You're embarrassed about the judgments that might come from other people. Get over that. Grow up. We're out of high school. Let's get on with it. Okay. Second, that was mean. Second, you want believers? Get momentum. Keep fighting for it. I love the mindset Jamie had of, you don't stop asking, growing, and pushing, even if people don't get it at certain points. But also, she left. She. She didn't hold any bitterness against them for saying no earlier. She was still really. She was still willing to push and try. She didn't hold the bitterness that prevented her from not going for them. She didn't go like, oh, those people, they're like this and they'll never accept me. She said, one day you're going to accept me because I'm going to prove myself. So I love that.

You know? You know, another part of this, too. Yeah. Is, you know, sometimes we're embarrassed to. Whether it's beeline to the front of the room where we don't have a seat at the table or whatever it is. Right. We think, oh, what if I go try this and get rejected again or fail or all those things. But people actually, what I've learned now that I can look back on all this and now that so many of these people that said no to me for years now I know them really well. Now we have partnerships together. Now I know they should.

Hired some of them, the people who rejected her. She ended up hiring them. She became their boss. She was the person they belittled, and then she became their boss.

All things are possible. But no, it's actually fascinating. You know, even with Sephora, who's a great partner today. They're a big beauty retailer. Great partner, awesome of it. Cosmetics, they said no for about six years, even after we had become huge. And because I kept going back, every time I get knocked down, because I kept being told no, being rejected and didn't take it personal, I kept going back, kept going back. By the end, I think that they had a lot of respect. They're like, okay. And same with l', Oreal, by the way, because it was three years before it became a. Yes, it was three years of meetings. And I think that the way you handle rejection too, and the way you're able to show resiliency and courage and get back up, that actually can make other people want to partner with you regardless of how they feel about your product or service. I think when you see people's what people are made up over time. And so I think there's something powerful to that too, is also just in that journey, how you handle it, not just inside your own mindset, but also how you show up to everyone else around you, Even the people rejecting you and doubting you, when you really want to just get mad and be like, f you, but you want to do that. It's a human part of us, right? But that doesn't serve anybody. It's like when you don't take it personally and you just keep going and keep getting back up and keep believing it's going to happen, whether it does or doesn't ever. I think that's huge in terms of how much respect other people develop for you in the journey of building your own company or launching your own dream or building your own friendships and relationships.

And if she had stopped at the first no, there wouldn't have been a second yes. And once you realize that in life and listen, if they both had said no, we would probably still be here. Like, Jamie would find a way. I'll keep this private, but I consult, I coach another major super female entrepreneur who everyone respects. And one time she said to me, I'm going to keep it private because she said it in private. But it was a great metaphor about something she was going through. She shared that her belief was that sometimes there isn't a seat at the table for you because you're not ready. Or if you're not invited at the table enough, you're not standing out enough or communicating or speaking up to share your wins and your successes. Or she said, if you try to pull up the chair or you're not invited to the chair or whatever, she goes, go build your own table. Like, go start your own company where you buy the conference table and you hire people to sit there and you work on the same thing. The idea that we have to wait to be at something. I didn't wait to be at the publishing world. I self published my first book and that changed the course of my career forever because they all said no to me. So I had all these rejections. I've had every book I've ever done. I had rejections on from multiple publishers. And some of those books became like Literally industry or field defining genres like Motivation Manifesto is still to this day the bestselling motivation title of the century, which is insane to think about.

How cool is that?

After they, after the company that gave me the deal said, not only did they give me the deal, when I turned the book in, they said, no, Jamie. They said, we don't like the book. We think it's terrible. You need to add more fluffy stories. And they basically, as best they could, completely insult my artistic integrity. And I had to decide either I changed the book for them or I say I'm going to take my book and go somewhere else. Which was a super hard decision for Denise and I at the time in my life because they had already given us the money. I'd already spent it probably. It's like, oh my God. But now they hate the book. But I love the book.

And you didn't want to change it.

No, that book comes out and that's the book that got me. That's the book Oprah interviewed me for, for her magazine. That's the book that Meghan Markle puts in her top five books of all time. That's the book. That thing at the launch time was the little black book that all celebrities are reading. Because it was just like, it was such a different thing. And it took off. And if I had just quit because they said no or they really did insult me, I mean, you talk about in judgment. They questioned whether or not I was drugs. They asked me literally, were you on drugs when you were writing this? It was just like, I'm like, I can barely. I barely drink milk, people. I barely drink milk. Coffee is like coffee.

When you have one coffee, you're like.

I'm like, everyone thinks there's coffee in this every morning. It's just water in there. People like. So I'm just letting you say. But I kept going. So this is a story and this is a mindset today, ladies and gentlemen of don't worry about the no's. Because if it is true dream to you, if it is sown in your heart to fulfill that desire and dream, you keep going. Even if your spouse doesn't understand, even if your parents or your mother in laws or your old cousins or your neighbors down the block are making fun of you at the barbecue, who cares? Your dream wasn't made for them. Your dream was made for you.

So Motivation Manifesto, tell me if I'm remembering this right also, isn't this the book? I know Oprah interviewed you for it, but didn't she like, let you know, it was on her bedside table.

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. So Denise and I are at her house. She was throwing her book. So talk about full circle moment. Oprah is throwing her book launch party at her house and invites about. There's like 300 of us there and like the Super Soul Hundred members, which, you know, we're part of and. And all these other things. Anyway, we go there and, you know, there's all these. And they're super slow, like Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon. And, you know, Jeff Bezos is literally there from Amazon. It's just.

Wait, wait, Brendan Burchard was there?

No, that's the thing. I totally. Denise and I totally don't feel like we're sitting like the next to Dr. Phil during her talk. And like, all these Alicia Keys is on stage. It's just crazy. Unbelievable. Out in the. One of the most magical things I'd ever been invited to my life. And we just. We're sitting there. We're not having imposter syndrome, but we're also. We're just recognizing, like, wow, this is another caliber of group of people here. And afterwards, there was, like, this amazing barbecue. Oprah always gets the food, right? I mean, let me tell you, her whole team. So anyway, we're. We're all there. I don't think I'm going to get to see her, talk to her. I really want to introduce Denise to her, but I don't think it's going to happen because there's so many people there. Anyway, at some point, Oprah's doing the rounds. She comes around, and I'm standing there. I think I was with. I think I was with Gabby and Marie Forleo and Jack Canfield. Oh, gosh, I'm blinking. There's four or five of us standing there. And she comes up and I introduce Denise. And I don't remember how it happened, but we talked about the books or something. And then I said something about. Oh, yeah, I remember our interview in New York. Motivation manifest. She goes, do you remember? She says, I have your book on my bedstand right now upstairs. I always have it there. And I was like. And all of her mouth dropped. And I was like, I don't think I said another word. I just think I was like. I think I just stood there dumb for, like. I don't even remember when she left. At that point, I literally just. All circuits shut off. I just stood there after she left. I do remember at some point during the party, pulling Denise aside, I go, hey, did Oprah come up to us and say this thing about. Because I thought maybe I was daydreaming. I thought I was crazy.

Like, Denise, did this really happen?

Plus, they had this barbecue and this punch there, and I'd had too much of the punch thingy. So I was like, that happened, y'.

All.

Anyway, it was a magical. It was a magic. And then I can't tell you the number of people. If y'. All search motivation manifesto on YouTube, we have this video of, like, all these, like, Ariana Huffington reading from it. The late, great Larry King reading from it. The character, the guy after who played Superman, Ben, Miss Universe. Like, all these people are reading the Harvey McKay, a legend in our industry. They're just reading from the book because it sounds so cool. And it just grew and grew and grew into this thing. And I wouldn't have any of these goofy stories. And Jamie wouldn't have had her Aleph moment this morning in the hotel. Those moments of serendipity or those moments of reward or those moments of, like, extraordinary, wow, is this my dream? This really happened? Only comes after the mindset of courage says, keep going. You have a dream. You don't need everyone to approve. Get momentum. Work hard, keep your head down, keep your voice up, keep your faith up. Keep showing up. And all of a sudden, one day, it's like, wow, look. Look at what happened. I mean, look what happened. Jamie's probably in the presidential suite up in there. Let me tell you people. I'm just saying she's probably figured out, you know, like, Jamie's such an extraordinary, outstanding success story, and to know her humility, knowing how she must have felt walking down that hallway.

I was sobbing this morning, Brendan. I was just like, wow. You know, these words came to me. They're famous words that say. Say pray, like it's all up to God and work, like it's all up to you. And I just, like, those words just came to me because the journey, right? It's the journey. It's never. It's not even the outcome or the destination. But I'm just like, I'm just having this moment, too, hearing your story, and I just want to share that one piece again. You just shared that Journey of Motivation manifesto and shared how, like, you did a book deal for it, and the publisher hated it, didn't like it, didn't like what you did, asked if you were on drugs writing it, and you made this tough decision to take it back, and now we're talking about how many people all over the world it's impacted how you're standing in Oprah's yard and she's telling you how it's on her bedside table and you're able to introduce your wife to her. Like, like, like, just. But, but I just. There's people right now going through this season where someone just told them something they're doing is total crap or is it going to make it or doesn't have what it takes. And I just think stories like this are so powerful because sometimes it's like the power of stories is that we hang on to them and then they help remind us, oh, yeah, like Brendan went on that journey and I just got told the same thing. I can, too. You know what I mean? And that's why I love the Power of Story and I love this morning show so much because it's like we're all sharing this space together and that's so, such a power. Really quick, too. Sorry, I'm getting really hyper now because the opening line of Motivation Manifesto, will you just share it with everyone? The one about lion and the mouse. Don't quote me. Can you share that opening line? Because it's so good. I misquote it in my head all the time and it still fires me up.

I might not even get it right. But it's something to the effect of there comes a time in the lives of those destined for greatness when we must ask, why, having been endowed with the heart of a lion, do we live as mice? And why is it you've been given this gift and this soul and this energy by God or Creator? Will you allow yourself to push down that energy or avoid it or cheat it or belittle it because someone said no or because you had an inconvenience day? You know how many people go, I'm going to start a website? And then 10 minutes in, they're like, this is hard. And they quit. And you're like, really? Building a website is hard. After you've been through all those struggles in your life, you've been knocked down, beaten up, belittled, teased, discouraged, and now you're going to let building a website stop you? Like, that is nonsense. When you realize that your heart and your spirit has been endowed with great gifts and great powers for change, for manifestation, for creation, for contribution, for love. When you realize how much that strong gift from above is your problems and you're in. Most people don't actually stop at problems. I always say this. Most people do not stop at problems. They stop at inconveniences. And that is what breaks my heart the most because most of my journey and most of your journey was not just inconveniences. They were impossible odds of real problems, of real failure, of people hitting like you and me both, hitting like nothing in the bank account. Total reputation and character online problems, problems coming out our ears, and we still push through. And are we lucky? Or did we say, I'm just going to trust, have faith, and fulfill this dream? Now? There is a huge element of grace and luck and privilege in any person's lives. I certainly have those buy spades in my life. Where I came from out of poverty in Montana, I'm like, hey, I'm. I'll. Someone calls me lucky. I'm like, you dang right I am. I had tons of luck in my life. And if you can adopt that mindset for courage that says, I will continue on despite the inconveniences and the problems and the struggle, because maybe those struggles are honing you to make you better so you can crush it like Jamie did later on. We hope that you approach today with that unstoppable spirit, my friends. Please do that, because remember, you're stronger than you think. The future holds good things for you. Every day is a good day to change Every day is a good day to adopt a new attitude Every day is a good day to go Even after they say no Every day is a good day to go. Sam.