How to Unplug (without losing touch)

Welcome to the Charged Life. This is Brendan Burchard. This is a video that could potentially change your life and the lives of your families. And there's nothing for sale here. This is about getting back to your humanity. It's about disconnecting at the right times in the right ways from all the technology, the social media, and the insanity that has completely taken over people's lives. And you know how this goes. You go into a restaurant nowadays and you see two people sitting there, and they're not even talking to each other. They're just like. You know, you go to and talk to people and they can't even sustain 30 seconds of conversation without, you know, they're completely jacked up in this thing. It's like, you know, this is taking over their head and they can't actually operate as humans throughout the day without their mind going a little crazy and spastic. Add because they're so used to checking in. People have become addicted to their devices, to their technology, and to the tools in such a way that it is stripping away their humanity. And I don't mean to be a doomsdayer about that. I love technology. I think it's the greatest tool ever. You and I couldn't be having this conversation if it wasn't for technology. I appreciate it. I love it. I love that maybe you stumbled upon this video or maybe somebody shared it with you. I appreciate social media. I appreciate email. I'm not one of those guys who says, go live in a hut in the woods away from humanity. But what I am about is aliveness. What I am about is having control over your life and not becoming one of those minions who are completely addicted to their social media and can't get away with it. Or those who are losing entire days to what I call browser blackout. You know, they went to go work on something, but then they looked and clicked on one blue link and one link over here, and they tapped or swiped over here, and four hours go by, and they're like, what happened to me? Like, all of a sudden, their day is gone. They don't know what happened. They can't remember what they've done or what they've seen or what they've accomplished. If they accomplished anything, then they're just like, what happened? Why am I naked? It's like, the day's gone. We gotta get your day back. So five simple things. Not only to get your day back, but to get your life back. Amidst all of the distraction that is ripping you from the magic of the moment, from your relationships, and frankly, from your ability to really achieve things that are significant. And so we have to get our day back. And how do we do that? Well, let's talk about unplugging for a moment and what that can mean in the modern world while we're still maintaining what we must, if we have to, as far as business or email or social media. So let's talk about this first simple thing. All I want you to do, it will change your life completely. By science, it has proven that it will increase your productivity by over 30% every week. It will also give you at least a minimum, a minimum of two and a half to three hours more sleep each and every single week. How simple is this? All you need to do when you first wake up in the morning, that first hour that you are alive, alert and awake, you do not check in, you do not check your email, you do not do your social media or look at your social media. You do not even check your voicemail or text unless you're in an emergency situation or a customer service situation where that's your job. But generally, you should, generally you should not, in that first hour, look at anything that it's even digital. You don't need to. All right? Even if you. And by the way, if you're like, Brendan, you don't understand my life. I need to. If you need to do this, if you are ruled by this, then you have not designed your life that intelligently. And it's not to be flippant, it's not to be rude, it's not to be directed with people. It's to say, look, if this is taking over your life, that you can't give yourself an hour in the morning, then you become addicted to a machine. You become addicted to something that you think this is controlling you. You think, why is the world controlling your first hour? You should control your first hour. And here's what we've proven in high performance. So if you ever studied my work with High Performance Academy or my book of the Charge, or all the work that I do in high performance coaching, I've trained more high performance coaches than anybody on the planet. We certify high performance coaches. And some of that work came from some famous studies and work that I've done. And one of them was very simple. We looked across multiple industries, multiple executive levels, and we found this. If in the first hour, instead of somebody checking anything, email specifically, instead, if they just sat down, piece of paper and wrote, what is it that I'm working on right now? What are the major Projects and the four or five things I need to accomplish on these projects. Who are the people I need to reach out to today or that I'm waiting on that I need to reach out to today to get a decision to move something forward? What are my key priorities that must happen today? The top maybe three or five things that must be done no matter what today. If they'll just start the day writing things like that instead of checking in, then they can direct their life. Because look, if the first thing you do is you open up and you look at your inbox, guess what? The inbox is nothing but a convenient organizing system of other people's agendas. Suddenly you lose the day because you're in a reactive state. The inbox is a reactive state. You're in there, you're reacting to people's needs, their priorities, the things they're pushing at you. You need to start the day with saying, what is it that I need? What do I need to accomplish today? What steps could I take to move my dreams forward today? What must happen today? Those questions of being more intentional with your day versus reactive. That's why we need to get you away from checking in right off the bat. The second component to this is not checking in at all in the last hour of your day either. You know, people are literally laying in bed, waiting to go to bed, looking at Twitter, and they don't know. They can't figure out why they're not getting good night's sleep. They're wrecked. They're busted every single morning. Their eyes, they look 50 years older than they should look. Why? Because what they're doing is they're firing off neural pathways and neural hormones in their brain right before they go to bed. And they can't get a good night's rest. You. Even if they fall asleep fast throughout the night, their sleep is less restful because what they've done is they've activated all these hormones and processing in their brain that these things give you. What ends up happening is that all that things that you see, all those variety of posts, every new post you see, you should think, every new post I see, a new drop of dopamine falls into my brain. The more dopamine, the more activity and reward centers that are alive, which is an enlivening process, which is why everyone gets so addicted to it. Looking at our posts is like cocaine today for the brain. So what we have to do is in that last hour, don't look at it, have that time that you say, that is a demarcation line at this hour, which is an hour before I go to bed, I no longer look at anything digital at all. Period. I stop consuming social media. I stop looking email. I. I stop listening to voicemails. I stop engaging in that way. Just go on a digital diet in that last hour of your day and that first hour of your day. If you did that for 30 days, I guarantee you we want to come back to this video and you'll post and be like, this just changed my life. That one thing you told me completely changed my life, and I know it will, so please do that second thing to help maintain this digital diet concept and to help you unplug more often is, is to do this. Make sure. Make absolute sure. When you are in a human interaction with somebody, you force yourself not to look at this. If you are at dinner with somebody, turn it off. If you are in a conversation in the street with somebody, don't look at it. Do not be in a human conversation and keep doing this, because it's stealing that relationship magic that happens from people. That is the creative engagement, the joy, the love, the connection between people. When you're with a human, don't look at it unless you say, hey, hold on, I need to check this right now. Because something's going on. Sometimes in our lives, there is a big deadline or there is somebody who's in town visiting us, or we do need to be available. And you know what? Sure, we can let a person know about that, but let that happen at the beginning or at the end, but allow this time in a relationship to be real. And for Pete's sake, if you're married or you're in a relationship and you're trying to deepen that relationship or reconnect it, do not look at all. I highly urge you. It's a simple question. Here's how to know if you're addicted. In the last four or five dinners you went to with somebody, did you have to look at the phone during dinner? If you did, you've started losing humanity. How's that for a quote? It's like the worst thing. If you can't even have a meal without looking at your phone, then you know what? You've really lost touch with the magic of human interaction. And I don't do that as a judgmental person. I do that because studies continue to show that the more interruptions people have in their conversations and the more interruptions they have in their times to create, to connect, to give, to work together, to love together, then suddenly what ends up happening is there's a disconnect, a self report on both sides saying they aren't feeling each other. Well, that's happening because they're lost in the abyss of the digital stream. And so take that time to make sure, if you're in a human interaction relationship, you don't look at it unless you're working on something specifically then. But that doesn't count. Usually lunches, dinners break, conversations with people. Okay. Third, if you want to go another step further and be totally crazy, totally off the wall, make sure that you set up days where you never look at it at all. There's days, and despite the fact I have millions of followers online where I literally don't even look at it, I don't even log in. Because what I'll do is I'll schedule out my posts on Facebook or Twitter or I'll schedule in advance whatever things else I have to do or I'll delegate it. I'll make sure, no matter what, there just has to be. If there's not at least, at least several days a month where you're not connected at all, then I think you've probably really gotten further away from what might be the experienced life. So I challenge you. Can you have a few days a month where you're just off the grid, totally. I mean, completely that day. And see, it feels like we can't do that because the world would fall apart, right? It doesn't. You know what you do. The more that you go, days without consuming it, days without being under control of it, days without checking into it, the more you realize nothing happens. The world doesn't fall apart. Nobody cares. Not a big challenge. Nothing's bad. I mean, maybe people at first are like, well, I couldn't get a hold of you. Don't reply. Teach people that you are not on the whim of a short leash, that you yourself can manage your life. Set up an autoresponder that says, thank you for sending an email today. Please realize I'm under a lot of duties and stresses and challenges and deadlines right now. At this moment, I'm unable to reply to all the emails that come in. And please understand that I may not get back to you for 24 to 72 hours even. Please be patient in waiting for my reply because I try to reply to everybody with great excellence. And I've always found that quality, not quantity, is the answer to great relationships and service to the world. So please be patient. I'll reach you as soon as I can so that everybody knows you're not going to be immediately replying to them. Very few people in my life get the same day response from me. Does that make me a jerk? No, it makes me, I think, intentional about living a real life, you know, A real life. Okay, another two quick things you can do, one every single week. I challenge you for 30 days every single week, get a book. You know, a book, a real book. One that has a cover on the front and the back and it opens. Doesn't turn on, it opens. You know, one of those. Get a book, go to a coffee shop for a minimum of an hour, a minimum of an hour with no phone, no laptop, no digital. Just get the book, go to the coffee shop, get some tea or some coffee or some water, sit there and notice people and read your book. That's all. Your job is just to reconnect with the art and humanity of life again, completely devoid of any digital distractions. Give yourself an hour a week for 30 days. You can find that time. Maybe it's on a Sunday, maybe on your day off, maybe late at night, I don't care when it is. Find that time and you'll be completely blown away. You're like, holy cow, I didn't even. I forgot about this. And it will feel so good. At first you'll be like, where's my phone? Where's my phone? Where's my phone? Did I lose it? Did I lose it? Did I lose it? But at some point you'll stop being the hamster, you'll stop being on the wheel, you'll stop being addicted and you'll start to realize you, huh, I can just sit and be and enjoy myself without freaking out. How nice is this? How nice is this last part? To unplugging, make sure, make sure that several times a month you get outside. Many people don't know this about me, but I take a walk every day. Usually 30 to 45 minute walk every day. Just strolling around, just out looking at things, with no phone, without any agenda, without even talking points or thinking, just to go stroll and look around. And people say, well, sure, you can do that, Brendan, because you know, you have whatever. It's like, no, I've been doing that most of my life. Go for a walk every day. Just get outside. If you can go to the woods or be outside near the ocean, or be out in the open air in a beautiful vista, do that. Otherwise, if you're living in a concrete jungle, walk around where it's safe. You know, just go out for a stroll somewhere because I think you'll reconnect with yourself. You'll have thoughts that you haven't had, you know, thoughts for a long time. It's very difficult to have deep, important, meaningful, artistic or creative thoughts if you are constantly bombarded with interruptions and distractions that this thing brings every time it chimes or buzzes at you. So I hope that helps you. I think you deserve to have a life that's a little less plugged in and a little less addicted to. Because when you do that, a little bit more joy comes into your life, a little bit more energy. You feel a little more engaged with your days now and really in the moment, presence comes back to you and suddenly you start feeling what we call the charged life. Hey everyone, it's Brendan. Did you like this episode? Be sure to subscribe to the next one and tell a friend about us. If you want free books and world class training on motivation and high performance, visit me@Brendon Burchard.com and enter your name and email for our newsletter list. Until next time. Stay charged and go out there every day of your life and live fully, love openly and make your difference today.