Mashup: How to Become Unstoppable and Achieve Your Dreams

Your discouragement and your frustration is a blessing from something saying, you got more in you, kid. You're not done yet. There's still more to live. There's still more for you in this life to enjoy. More freedom and joy. Let's get back in the game. Today I'd like to have a conversation about realigning and how do you do that? Because we want you to align with what is unstoppable of your nature or something beyond your nature. And when you do that, you're carried to greatness versus grit and grind and fight and ah. Because there should be a freedom and a joy to life. Anyone agree? Like a real freedom and joy. Freedom and joy. We're all looking for the same thing. Freedom and joy. Take your notes. Freedom and joy. We're all looking for, as Glenn has said, who living a fully alive life. I talk about it in terms of the human drive of aliveness. We want that zest, that vibe that pop, that energy that can be authentic and slow and deep or high and excited. But there's a freedom to it. There's a freedom to it. That's where we wanted to get you. How do we get it? Well, you all know it all starts with mindset. You've heard everyone here talking about intentions. Every speaker in some ways talked about intentions, haven't they? It's like Personal Development 101. Your intentions, your intentions. I got a crash course in it literally when I was a 19 year old kid. So was that 25 years ago this year, 25 years ago this year. The high school sweetheart I had, we thought we were going to get married. We went to college together. We didn't make it through college together because in that first semester of school our relationship fell apart. She went outside the relationship. It broke my heart and I fell apart. And for those of you who've ever had your whole life intertwined with somebody else because at that point I wasn't going to college. I went because she was going. I signed up for the same class as she did. I signed up in the same dorm, you know, I hitched a U haul to the back of my 1988 Nissan Sentra. I welded it myself and hitched this little U Haul. I carried all her stuff over to college, I followed her all around and then the relationship fell apart and so did I. And I became depressed and then ultimately suicidal. 19 year old kid. I didn't have the tools of personal development. I didn't know as we casually talk about you have to get professional help or coaching or Therapy sometimes and you.

Can'T get over yourself.

I didn't know any of that. I was just a young man struggling. So I started planning to take my life. Unrelated, a short while later, I was in a car accident. And that car accident taught me I didn't want to take my life. I wanted to live my life. My heart was broken, but I still wanted to love. I was a 19 year old kid. I didn't know the point of life. You know, I never sought service or tried to do something beyond myself. And I decided I want to do something because I remember at the end of the car accident I was after this car rolled off the road and flipped several times. I was able to pull myself through the windshield of the car after it stopped. And I stood on this crumpled hood of this car with blood coming off of my body and onto my toes. And I thought it was the end for me. And I looked down and saw the blood go off the end of the hood of the car. I thought I was going to faint. And I remember just thinking, did I even matter? Was there a purpose to this life? And I didn't like the answer to that. Did I matter? I didn't think I did. I didn't know anything about that whole idea of service or being a role model. We're doing all things in leadership. I was just a lost kid who was brokenhearted. But as I was standing there and I felt that life draining from me, I saw a glint in my blood at the end of the hood of the car. And it made me look up.

And.

There was this bright, big beautiful moon. That night of the car accident. And as I had felt my life draining out, when I looked up, I felt this connection. I felt like suddenly this knowing that I was going to be okay. And I felt like I got what I call life's golden ticket. It was like the big guy upstairs had spared me in that little millisecond to keep me alive and handed me life's golden ticket. It was like, you're still here, you know, it's like I got that ticket. As if he had said, here you go, son, you're still alive. You can still love, you can still make a difference. But now, you know, the clock is ticking. And I remember that moment on the hood of that car and I got that feeling, that sense that I was still alive. And I felt gratitude wash over my body. And I just thought, I will earn this. I will earn this second chance.

I.

Will earn this breath. I will earn this life. And it was precious and some of you have been there towards the end, or you've been with family who you.

Lost a lot of us, lost a.

Lot of people in this last year. And you know how precious life is. And you know when you start becoming unstoppable or when you change, you know when that happens. The moment mortality motivation enters your veins. Mortality motivation. You want to change your life, realize it ends. You want to get back on track, realize it ends. You want to change your relationships, realize you only have so much time together. You want to repair your relationship with the kids, realize there's only so much time before they're out. And realize how precious life really is. Because when you realize you only have so much time to live it and feel it and connect and love and do something meaningful, you.

You stop.

The seventh season on Netflix. You just go, okay, five, I'm satiated enough. And you get back at it. Cause you have something to do. You have people counting on you. There is somebody who's been waiting for you to rise and go. Somebody has been waiting for you. Maybe it's inside.

It's your spirit.

It's your knowing something inside of you. If you feel a rattle or frustration or a hopelessness or a fatigue of where you've been, don't take that as a signal to stop or to hate.

Yourself or to feel discouraged.

Discouragement just means you gave up on learning. Discouragement just meant you thought you were.

Supposed to be perfect.

When what you really had to do is get back in the game and test and try and learn and adapt a little bit more. Your discouragement and your frustration is a blessing from something saying you got more in you, kid, you're not done yet. There's still more to live. There's still more for you in this life to enjoy. More freedom and joy. Let's get back in the game. I know it was tough. You align with mortality. You align with what I call the reverence for life. Philosophers talked about it throughout the centuries. The reverence for life. When you have reverence for life, you want to live it. I really believe us humans, we're driven by three primary drives, right? The drive for aliveness, that enthusiasm, that joy, that good positive emotion, like that sense of appreciation for life itself. We're driven by that need for connection, right? Relationship. Even though that connection is with ourselves, our spirit, or our creator. And we're driven by that desire for meaningful pursuits, to do things we find meaningful, fulfilling, satisfying, that make us alive, right? We all want aliveness and connection and meaningful pursuits. But to get them, we gotta like get out of our own way a little bit and realign with a higher intention for what our life is.

Here's how I did it.

Very simple way. My car accident taught me at the end of my life, I'm going to ask questions to evaluate whether or not I was happy with my life. My questions happened to be standing on the hood of that car and throughout that accident was, did I live?

Did I love?

Did I matter? I was given a gift of knowing.

The questions I'm going to ask at.

The end of my life. And so for 25 years, every night I lay in bed and I ask my intention questions. Did I live today? Oh, I could have done a little better, but no, I did.

Did I love today? I tried to live with full heart.

Did I matter today? I tried. And the nights that I didn't do great. That's the beauty of the morning sun. That's the beauty of that fresh page. That's the beauty of tomorrow. Some of you forgot the beauty of tomorrow. You think it's always gonna be the same because we all been in quarantine. And I get it, I'm still cutting my own hair. You see this problem we have over here? Listen, we're all doing.

We're all trying to live.

It's hard, it's weird out there. But I want to let you know. Don't forget the beauty of tomorrow. Don't forget every day you can adopt a new attitude. Don't forget every day you can change. Don't forget every day you can improve. Don't forget every day you can grow. Every day is a good day to grow is what we say at growth Day. Every day is a good day to grow. Begin. Maybe tonight, maybe right now. What are the questions you're going to ask yourself at the end of your life? Maybe it's. Was I a good mom? Did I build my empire? Did I follow my heart? Did I take care of somebody? Did I serve that mission? That cause? Did I honor my God? What is it for you? You're gonna ask questions and I'm just here to tell you. If you haven't thought through those questions at the end, mortality, motivation. If you don't think about how you're gonna evaluate your life at the end, there's no hope to live each day intentionally and with purpose. You're just going through the motions. And there's nothing worse for your performance than going through the motions over and over and again without intention. Each day and each night. Ask yourself the questions of your life each morning and each Night. Just so you're aware, am I on track? What do I need to summon of myself? How could I change intention, mortality, motivation. Who's learned, really, the hard way in this last year how precious life is? Anyone who had your wits, who was just scared at some point this last year, it just freaked you out, the pandemic, the economy, the world, the politics, everything else.

Like, that fear that is real.

And I hope you don't use fear to stop. I hope you use it as an encouragement to live. Oh, God, what a blessed thing it is we have. People always say, brendan, how are you so annoyingly happy all the time for 20 years? I've been watching videos of yours for 20 years on the Internet, Brendan. How? I'm like. Cause every day I'm like, wow, I got a breath. One of my mentors, the late, great Wayne Dyer, taught me that every day he got up in the morning, threw his legs over bed, and when they touched the ground, he just closed his eyes and said, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for one more day. If you haven't felt in your heart that gratitude that makes you cry for your life in this last year, please open your eyes. It is an amazing gift that you are here. I'm happy that you're here. I could see your faces. Otherwise, this would be just a big, dark wall and I'd be talking to myself.

It's super awkward.

I do that at home, but it.

Would be really awkward here with all these people.

I just hope that you will find somewhere in your heart a remembrance of.

The blessing of this day.

But, Brendan, it's hard. They say, yes, it is.

So here's what I say.

Honor the struggle. Write it down. Honor the struggle.

You know who quits?

The people who say, it shouldn't be there. I shouldn't have problems. So what do we do? There's two different people, literally, in how they approach things. One honors the struggle, one bemoans the struggle. Anyone ever live with or work with a complainer?

Anyone?

Okay, some of you pointing to your spouse. That's weird. Okay, I can't see your faces.

That's super awkward. I saw you.

Okay, that's. All right. So here's what I want you to know.

If you live, like, if you're.

If it sucks, if it's difficult, that's not an indication to stop again. That is a struggle that has been delivered uniquely to you to say, rise, young woman. Rise, young man. Let us see what you are made of. Let us see how much you really want it. That struggle Was placed there to see if you will stay true to your nature and your dream or your creator or your mission. That was placed there to see do you really care? Do you really want it?

Because we have a lot of people.

Who are casual about life. We have to say, is it real for me? And you'll know. The good news is you don't have to go on like, you know, a big trip to take a bunch of drugs and puke on the floor in the Amazons to be able to know something about yourself. You got to listen to your human nature again, that human nature, that part of you, you know, you already know the things in your life that are wrong. Mortality motivation says change them sooner than later. Honoring the struggle says face them with courage. Face them.

Cause, right?

A lot of people say no, no, no. It's easier to avoid struggle. And what happens when you avoid struggle? You all know. See, to me avoidance is a great strategy for short term comfort. Unfortunately, it is also a great strategy to guarantee long term suffering. Avoidance gives you short term ease and long term suffering. If you have to have the difficult relationship talk tonight, have the talk. If you have to get real in the morning and look in the mirror and honor yourself and high five yourself and say yes, but you still need to go to the gym, go, oh, exercise. There's YouTube, you can get the dumbbells from Amazon and you can just do the thing in your house on the yoga mat. You don't have to have big fancy things. What you have to do is be in motion. Right? How many of you realize so often a lot of our problems we solved as being more consistent. I've been teaching a long time. 25 years since my accident, 20 years since my first book, 15 years since jumping into what now we call the life coaching or the online training world. And here's what I've learned so often.

People of real greatness, people who are.

Unstoppable, people who though failed to reach that full greatness, it wasn't because they weren't smart or they couldn't do things. You know what happened Sometimes they forgot the truth. That common sense is not always common practice. It's the fundamentals, it's the daily forward momentum to the things that matter to you and to you and to you and to you. It's unique to you, it's unique to you. It's unique to me. But do we have daily forward momentum? We just have to honor the struggle of that. And the good news is you don't have to throw out everything you have to choose just a few things. In our research study with high performers, we found out that high performers on average only spend 60% of their week working towards the major needle moving projects.

The other 40%, they got kids, they.

Got teams, they got administration, they got paperwork and email and crap to do. But 60% of their week, they were pushing the big things forward. When you're willing to push the big things forward, even the days of struggle don't feel as bad. Cause you at least put in effort.

Even if you only kick that little.

Boulder, something move forward. That little momentum breaks you through. It's so just magical of your energy. Stop bemoaning the struggle. Expect the struggle and work through the struggle. Honor the struggle as a challenge of your character. Honor the struggle as something that is honing your weaponry, that is making you stronger. Instead of going, oh, this sucks, be like, oh, I can't wait to see how I show up against that. And if I fail today, I. I will show up against that again tomorrow with a good attitude. Because that's my last big idea for you today. You want to know how you become unstoppable? You learn that the energy you have is not an accident. And you learn that the energy you have isn't even the way it works. I always use this metaphor. The power plant doesn't have energy. It generates energy. The power plant doesn't have energy. It generates energy. What does that mean?

Well, what a power plant does is.

It draws energy from one resource and it transforms it to a higher utilization of energy and then transmits it to the world. You have that same opportunity. You don't have to wait for happiness to arrive one day. You don't have to wait for good energy to arrive one day. You can architect that into your mind and into your body. You. You don't have to hope one day to feel more joyous. You learn to bring the joy. You bring the joy. You bring the joy to the morning light. You bring the joy to your family. You bring the joy to the dinner table. You bring the joy to that team who sometimes. And you show up with a positive mindset every day. And they're like, who is this person? And you know what? When they call you annoying or they call you inauthentic or they call you too happy or a stupid optimist or whatever, you take the joy that you're part of a rare set of human beings who spend their day like this, working on ourselves and growing. Because you know what? You want to get believers in your life, get some momentum with a good attitude, and all of a sudden they start coming around when they're like, oh, wow, you're different. And you're like, yes, I am. Because you worked for it, because you knew life was short. You knew it was short. And, and you decide at some point in your life, hey, there's only so much time. Let me show up with greater intention. Let me deal with these struggles just head on. You can do this courageously and you decide to bring the joy because life is short. And like me, I hope you want to earn this life.

Hey guys, it's Brandon. I'm jumping in here real quick. First, I want to make sure you've gone to progressmode.com to join the newsletter because I have a resource for you related to this episode and I have an upcoming meetup with my private group, Ultra. If you've ever liked to be in a private group with me where I help you get more progress towards your passion projects or to build your business or your brand in a bigger way, just go to progressmo.com, click on Private group to apply to. See you can get into Ultra and we can take it to the next level by getting in person and meeting up virtually once a month online as well. Just go to progressmode.com we're going to talk about your confidence and I am really excited to break down a framework for you and I hope in doing this help you realize where some of those dark days come from, where you lose faith in yourself, where those dark days come from when you know you have a lot to do but you just don't feel like you can figure it out where that you know, when you get to go out in the world again or when you're on a zoom and you got to show yourself to the world, you feel awkward or weird or insecure that you tap back into that authentic strength, that truth of who you are and that as you go through your life, you feel confident that no matter what life is going to throw at you, you're going to learn, you're going to figure it out, you're going to develop your capabilities. And many of you are going through really hard times right now. Sometimes it's just hard to even be positive. You can be so consumed and so overwhelmed by the negativity of other things out there. You just go, oh my gosh, this is just hard to feel good, let alone confident. I'm going to break down a framework that I hope some of you are familiar with, but today we're going to talk about it. With a different lens of how to overcome insecurities and what specific daily and monthly habits you might set up for yourself to feel more strong. So this is a piece of paper. It's a framework for confidence that I have on a board in my office. See, we need reminders. We are visual humans. We need to look at something to remind ourselves of something. And so you see, I have this. I'll share this with you in a minute. But I want to get the practice in your mind. The practice in your mind is you should have instructions to yourself on a wall somewhere. So you're like, if you walked into my office and say, brandon, why do you have a framework for confidence on your wall over there? And I go, well, because sometimes I don't feel confident. And what do we do when we don't feel something? Well, when we don't feel something that we want to feel, we tend to feel not good because I don't feel this. So I feel bad about myself. Or we tend to distract ourselves. I don't like this feeling. So I don't know what to do. So let me just scroll through the Internet. So to me, what I have done is I have got a board over here and there is my framework for happiness. Do you have a framework for happiness on your wall yet? So that when you don't feel happy, you go, I don't feel happy. What's going on with me? And you can just go look at it and go, ah, I've got my checklist for happiness right there. I forgot point number three. No wonder I'm not happy. What I'm trying to suggest to you is maybe you give yourself a checklist, a framework, a set of instructions for the feelings that you really want to experience in life. And when you're not feeling it, instead of retreating into the comforts of distraction, you go back to your instructions. You know what makes you feel good, and it's time to write that down and look at it more consistently. Here we go. This is my confidence checklist. This is my framework for confidence. I'm going to break down each of these areas. And even if you've seen this maybe before with me, what I'd love to do is break down where these grow into trouble, where these are developed and strengthened, where these can be applied in your life, financially, in your life, in your marriage or your relationship with your partner, with the kids. So I'm going to break down each of those things, each of those areas. I'll use a card here for you. We're going to Start with that very first card here. Clarity. Human beings are a goal directed species. If we don't have clarity on what we want, if we don't have clarity on who we are, if we don't have clarity on what our intentions are in social relationships, it's unnerving to us. Well, if you ever felt lost in life, you know that feeling. It's coming from a lack a often of clarity. We'll talk about this. You just don't know who you are, what you're about, what you want anymore. And, and it's unsettling when you lack clarity. It's really unsettling. You're like, ah, I don't know what I'm about anymore. And this is where midlife crises come in. Clarity is something that, it's like knowledge or a goal or an aim, but it's loosely held. What I mean by that is like, okay, that's important to me, but I can be flexible and adaptive as well. It's not this idea that you have total 100% complete certainty and you're total certain all the time. Ah, it's like that is a adolescent dream. There is no absolute certainty in anything in life.

Right?

And so we have to go, oh, okay, I can have clear direction or I can be strongly committed to this thing. But lots of people who are absolutely certain about something shifts months later. So here's my question for you. On a scale of 1 to 10 in the last 60 days, how clear have you been about what you wanted in life? Did you start the day with some clarity about how you wanted to live that day, show up that day, treat other people that day, serve that day? So let's think about where sometimes you feel insecure. You're going to go to that party or that networking function, you feel insecure about yourself. Why? Because in your mind, the insecurity in that moment, in that situation, of the networking situation or the party is coming from. I don't know who I am in here. I don't know these people and who I'm supposed to be with them. I don't know where to go or where to stand or who to talk to. And so just, it's unnerving. The insecurity is I don't know what to do in the situation. Now that type of confidence or lack thereof is something that psychologists call self efficacy. Self efficacy is about I don't know what to do in this situation. That's where the insecurity comes from. Positive self efficacy means I believe that I know what to do in this situation, I can handle this. Even if I don't know how yet. I believe I can handle this. I have the competence to take this on as an example. That's positive. But a lot of things in life you don't know how to deal with. You don't have self efficacy because you don't know how to handle it yet. This is a new party, you don't know anybody in it. It's a new networking event. You've never met any of these people. How do you get more confidence in that? Well, one simple thing you can do is start with clarity. Like, okay, I'm going to go talk to people. What's something I'd love to share about myself with every new person I meet? Oh, okay. Lock that in. Okay, got it. What's one question I could ask every new person I meet? Okay, let me lock that in. Okay, just those two things have been found to dramatically increase people's sense of confidence in social situations. I know what I'm going to share about myself. I have clarity on it. I know what I'm going to ask them. I've clarity on it. Just those two simple things. The problem with clarity is it's a double edged sword. A lot of people, their clarity is I'm awful, I'm worthless, I'm no good. And they've stacked up all these experiences to strengthen that belief. And their clarity is, well, I'm a jerk, I don't deserve success, I won't have success. They've got clarity, but they got the wrong kind of clarity. See, confidence requires positive clarity, not negative, self defeating clarity. So clarity is a double edged sword. If you believe the wrong thing about yourself, that's going to hurt you too. So what's the opposite of that? Well, I'm going to start viewing myself positively. How can we do that?

Well, you know what?

Maybe each day for the next 10 days I'm going to write down a strength that I have. Write down 10 positive things about yourself every day for the next 10 days. Watch. What happens for you is start shifting your perception of yourself. Here my little framework, we're going to go from clarity now to congruence. Congruence is living in alignment with what you know is the best of you. Living in alignment with the best of who you are. Living in alignment with your values. When you are not congruent, your brain logs that and what it says in that log, that log entry. Not living your word, not living your truth, not doing what you said you would do. And too many of those negative Withdrawals sucks away your confidence. But here's what you need to be congruent. What do you need? Clarity. You say, okay, these are my values. These are my beliefs. These are. This is what I think is important as a human being, as a parent, as a caregiver, as a leader. Congruence measures whether or not you're doing what you said you're going to do. And that's important. So here's the simplest fix. If you're been pulling too many withdrawals out of that bank account, it's time to put some back in. And so today might be the day you go, where have I been incongruent? Where do I say something and I don't do it? Where are you out of congruence? And can you do the simple acts? Sometimes when you're out of congruence, first you just apologize to yourself. You say, you know what? Gosh, Brendan, I haven't been honest with myself. Let's make a change. I think the fastest path back into congruence is an apology, an apology to yourself, an apology to other persons. It takes a lot of guts to say you are wrong. It takes a lot of guts to acknowledge you could do better. This one's fundamental. You get to decide today what to be congruent with. You get to decide who you are and you get to decide to show up and live into that third big idea. Competence. Competence. It's a collection of knowledge, skill, talents and abilities. The good news is you can increase this. So here's what I want you to do every day.

Every day I want you to have.

Clarity on what skills you are working on in your life. That's how we're going to get competence. Competence for too many people comes two years too late. Why? Because they wait too long to start developing a skill every day. I'm very clear about what I'm trying to improve. Every day I'm learning something, but I'm learning not just casually or passively. I'm going, I'm trying to get better at this thing. I want you all to have an ambition, to have one or two or three skill sets that you're literally world class in, that you're world class in. Not because you need the ego that I am world class? No, no, no. Because you need the challenge. You know why a lot of people lack confidence? They never engage challenge. You want more confidence, engage in challenge. More often the more challenge you engage in and you incrementally improve in it, the, the more your brain goes. Yep, there I did. I did it again. And what happens when you don't have confidence? You don't engage in challenge. When you don't engage in challenge, you don't get more competence. So you don't get that competence confidence loop. We were talking about the flywheel you all follow. So for those of you, if you're like, brennan, I just lack confidence. Like, challenge yourself more. But you're like, but I'm lacking confidence. I'm like, exactly, exactly. See, you're going, well, I'll get confidence, then I'll do the challenging things. I'm like the other way around. You want more confidence, do challenging things more often. When you do challenging things more often, you learn. When you learn competence, confidence, connection. When you don't have a connection with yourself or others, confidence goes down. So you want to feel more confident in life, reconnect with yourself and others with yourself. That's your morning routine. Lock in that morning routine. The more you feel connected to self, the more confident you are. But you need the time to connect to yourself away from the email, the social media, the obligations for the kids, the family, the husbands, the spouses, the team, everything else. You need that moment where you're like out and connecting with yourself, with your thoughts. You need time to think and, and to feel again. So turn off the tv, go for the walk, put down the phone, do the meditation, get away from the social thing one you know 10 minutes earlier so you can sit in the car and just think before you go home. You need more space to be thinking and connecting with self. So build that in your life. Self connection. Second part. The most important part we know environment dramatically shapes your confidence, the connection you have with the people around you. This means be around positive people. Contribute around positive people. Learn from positive people. It means create great relationships in your life. I want you all to improve this one. Simple action. Simple daily, weekly real life action. You must start sharing your real thoughts, feelings, desires and goals with the people around you. You got to do it more often. Here's where you lack confidence in life. When you won't share your truth because you're worried what everyone else thinks. That's what high schoolers do. You don't do that anymore. You're too damn old. Now you share your truth with other people and realize most of them won't get it, won't understand why it's important, won't support you, won't care, or at least won't get in your way and say anything at all. But the less you speak your truth to other people, the more Superficial, Your connections are with them. Number five is capability. Competence is the knowing, the knowledge, skill, talentability. Capability is you can do it, you can do it every time. It is like a strength, if you will. It is something that is, you are highly capable at that thing. You are at another level of skill that it shows up every single time. But here is the truth. Capability. Capability is as much as a mindset as a competence. Let me give you an example. A lot of extremely smart people who can handle the problem don't handle the problem because they don't feel capable. It's like, yeah, I know it, but I don't do it. See, there's a difference between knowledge and execution, which is often the difference between competence and capability. See, competence is like the foundation and a stored value, but it's expressed through execution. Capability, you want to develop capability. It means you get in the mix, you do the work, you show up, you try. Capability means I know I will execute. That's what to me, confident, capabilities, I will execute. How do you do that? You have to be more consistent in your execution. You need to be way more consistent in your execution. We talked about decision earlier. Decision is great. Action is required. We've got to get you to execute more of those. To do lists. You want more success, you want more joy, you want more confidence, you got to execute more of the plans. Capability is self trust to take the action. It's not just do I know how to take the action, it's I'm an action taker, I'm going to show up, I'm capable to handle this, I will do this. I trust in myself to handle this. To execute, to execute again and again and again and again and again. That's capability. And I really want you to develop that in your heart and in your soul by checking off the simplest of things each day. By if you have a list of three to do lists, if you wrote down your three top priorities for the day, do those first. Before you do your social media, before you reply to everyone's DMs inbox, you know, voice message, texts, it's like, listen, I have so many people who they spend all day just checking their email to reply to everybody else. Now that's fine if that's your job, if that's customer service, do that, that's your job. But if you're an entrepreneur as an example, or you have a whole list of other priorities and you're just checking into other people's agendas all day to meet all their obligations and you keep missing Your key priorities, day after day after day after day. Your brain doesn't feel like you're capable anymore. Even though you might be smart, you're competent, but your brain doesn't believe you're capable. Last big idea today. Contribution. You want confidence? Give more. You want confidence? Make your difference. You want confidence? Do things that matter. Why? Because a those things are celebrated in the world. Generous, giving people tend to have greater, what connections with other people. Generous, giving, caring, hard working people tend to have what? More clarity about who they are. They're more congruent, these things. They feel more capable, like generosity, doing things that matter. Giving strengthens the whole rest of the model. The whole model drives itself. When you've got each of these pieces running right, each of these pieces touches one another. Contribution's a key. It really is. Sometimes when you feel so bad about yourself, you're not going to shake yourself out of that, but what can shake yourself out of that is service. Sometimes you got to get out of your own head. And to me, what has created a great confidence and reverence for life in my life has been. I've been volunteering most of my life. When you're a volunteer, when you show up for others, when you volunteer to help out, whether it's as simple as helping a friend move, or going down to the local soup kitchen, or volunteering for that nonprofit cause that you like, or running that fundraiser even though you don't know how those contributions make a difference. Maybe your contribution is your art, maybe your contribution is your time. Maybe your contribution is financial. Maybe your contribution is mentorship. Maybe your contribution is your content or your book or your work, whatever that is. If you can do the same thing where you can give generously to it, give to your work, be generous to that contribution. Be in the moment when you're serving someone who is in need, you get a little more spirit inside. And when that spirit of goodness is inside, you can share it more too.