Motivation Mashup: HOW to Manage Your Emotional Intelligence
In this Growth Day session, Brendon Burchard explains why emotional intelligence (EI) is often misunderstood and undervalued, and how mastering it can boost decision‑making, mental resilience, and overall life satisfaction. He argues that many people avoid difficult emotions, opting for distraction or coping mechanisms instead of engagement, and he introduces a simple self‑rating exercise (0‑10) to increase awareness of personal and interpersonal EI. Burchard stresses that EI is a skill—not a personality trait—and that emotions should be navigated, summoned, and used rather than judged. He then shifts to relationships, presenting the "coin" metaphor of interdependence vs. independence and the principle of putting the relationship first while still growing individually. Grace is described as the material that holds the coin together, enabling compassion, forgiveness, and openness. He encourages co‑creating a future with a partner, focusing on shared energy, and using intentional planning and journaling to build a compelling relational vision. Throughout, he blends research references, personal anecdotes, and actionable prompts for participants to assess, practice, and improve both EI and relational dynamics.
Chapters
Hey everybody, it's Brendan. I want you to make sure you write the date in your journal or in your piece of paper or your napkin, wherever you're writing, okay? I want you to write the date. I want you to write advanced emotional intelligence because this is going to be a changing day for how you manage your emotions, the emotions of other people, and how you really sense and feel this life. I'm going to begin with just a few points about why I believe most people don't have more emotional intelligence and why this topic isn't more valued in not only, you know, the greater world or our educational system or our political system, or, you know, in some of our organizations around the world, or even some of our teams, some of our families. But I really believe that comes from just a few ideas here. Number one is the unfortunate reality that a lot of people think emotional intelligence is a, you know, touchy feely, you know, over sharing, you know, sense of vulnerable, weakness stuff. And they don't realize emotional intelligence is the secret to better decision making and better influence. It is the secret to overall mental health. It's the secret to mental strength, mental toughness, mental resilience. You want to be awesome in life and feel awesome. You want to care for others and set the tone and the energy of your culture or those that you lead and you serve. You need emotional intelligence. Because emotional intelligence isn't just about how I feel. It's about tapping into a deeper understanding of what's happening in, in your biological system, what's happening neurobiologically and what's happening in the social environment so that you have greater mastery of it. Not just to be aware of your feelings, which is absolutely critical, but also to know the difference between emotions and the feelings. To also know the difference of when someone is sad versus when they're discouraged, and knowing what to do with all of that. That's the power of emotional intelligence. So this is not just some, like, you know, I think what has happened in pop culture, people think emotional intelligence is just like, you know, touchy feely, cotton candy hype stuff. No, it is literally the foundational principle of having a great life. You have to be more engaged, aware and greater in your personal power related to your emotions. Especially now. Can I get an amen on the 1st of the day? 1st of the month? I mean, it's like, these are difficult times. So we're going to really dive deep into this and we're going to make it about mental toughness and mental resilience in this year. Not just about, like, touchy feely. Second big thing is I really believe the reason most people aren't more emotionally strong, intelligent, resilient, because there is this dynamic in our culture that is often avoid difficult feelings, avoid difficult conversations, avoid those times when we don't understand our feelings. So let's drown it out with, you know, addiction, alcohol, distraction, Instagram scrolling, whatever it is, right? It's like, oh, I don't feel good. You know what happens for a lot of people, they don't feel good about themselves or their relationships or their businesses or their teams or their life. So they pick up the phone, they go scrolling for life. Do you know what that is? That's an emotional intelligence thing. What's happening is they don't know how to cope. And so they pick up tools for coping versus understanding. Coping is here. They externalize coping, seeking coping mechanisms outside without understanding how to navigate the difficult emotions of our lives. And so I think more people, you know, haven't mastered this area of their life better, because the easiest answer is to avoid it. You know, think about all those difficult emotions you've had in personal relationships. Somebody, maybe you have a relationship right now, you know, who you really you love somebody, you're, you know, in a relationship in an intimate way, or you're a parent or you're, you know, leading a team. And there's all this just this difficult emotion to manage right now. You know, people are discouraged. There's a lot of vitriol and outrage out there. There's a lot of just fear of all this unknown. How have you engaged that? Have you had conversations with them? Have you checked in? Did you understand where they were at? Did they feel heard and seen, validated, appreciated by you? Or are you so struggling just to deal with yourself that you even forgot other people? Because that happens too. But we're going to go from this conversation of, of avoidance to engagement today. And that is the fun, like the foundational tool in all of emotional intelligence is engaging it, right? Engaging those difficult emotions, engaging those difficult conversations, engaging those difficult people instead of hiding. This is that important time to be doing that. You know, I get how easy it is to say, I don't want to deal with that. You need to learn how to deal with it straight up. You need to get at level 9 out of 10 in order to navigate these next few months well and lead others. And you got to give yourself an assessment. I'm going to ask you to do that right now. I know so many people, they don't understand the importance of scoring different skill sets of their lives. And so they just kind of go through life hoping to get better. But one thing that we know from high performers is they're willing to score themselves. They're willing to on a consistent basis, they give themselves grades or scores about how they're doing. How have you handled your emotions this year on a scale of one to ten? One, you just not good. I mean, okay, let's call zero dead. Okay. One, it's been a struggle and just you've been. It's been terrible. Ten, you feel, like, impressed by yourself. This year has been pretty good. Like, you've handled all this emotion pretty well. Where have you been? 0 to 10. Okay. Maybe even you might just share in the chat right here. How you been here? It's okay. Sometimes just sharing is the first step here. Okay, now let me ask you about how have you dealt with the emotions of others on 0 to 10? 0. I totally. They freak me out. I don't want to deal with them. 10. I've been doing pretty good, brendon. Thank you. I've been a great leader, a great parent, A great caregiver, a great manager. I've been doing real good. Where have you been? You know, you got to think about that constantly, like, personally, how am I managing my emotions and socially and the more that we're aware of these things and evaluating these things, the more our brain's gonna go, let's get better. Like, your brain is great at gamifying, right? When you give yourself a score, your brain goes, I want to get better. I would like a higher number here. Especially if you're on something like this with me here at growth day. I mean, it's like, duh, like you want to work on yourself. Right? So I know that sometimes it can be discouraging when we talk about measuring yourselves or giving yourself a score here. Some people say, brennan, I've been a level five with my emotions for a decade. I feel crappy. Thanks for making me score myself. Okay. But listen, that's going to lead to this next point. Many people confuse emotional intelligence with a conversation about who they are versus skill set. What do you mean by that? Well, emotional intelligence is a skill. It's not about yourself or even just your overall personality or identity. It's a skill. Right? It's an area of your life to be managed, improved upon, navigated, and it doesn't represent you. So many people think when they're know they have or experience sadness that, oh, I'm a terrible person. I have all these reasons to Be happy. Why can't I just be happy? But I'm feeling sad right now. What a piece of crap I am. And they literally start speaking negatively of themselves because they have or experience or feel an emotion. But an emotion is not you. An emotion is not you. And what most people do in this category of emotional intelligence in their life, they say things like this. They say, oh, well, you don't understand. That's just how I am. I'm just not one of those joyous people like you, Brendan. I'm not like your students who are so heavy. And what they do is. I'm not like that. Thinking that managing your emotions, navigating your emotions and activating a full suite of positive emotions in your life is related to their identity and who they are. No, we're talking about a specific topic in personal development. There's lots of things we can talk about that isn't you, right? Your car is not you. And your emotions are not you. Your dog is not you. The things you own or control or have are not you. It's okay when you have an emotion that you don't like not to hate yourself for the emotions you're experiencing. Some of you had a really tough year, right? I hear all day long from this community, and you'll see it in breakouts. It's like, this has not been an easy year. And so many people get down on themselves. Down on self versus recognizing. Oh, I don't have a real strong skill set here to navigate this difficult emotion. You follow. You don't need to get mad at yourself or down on yourself. If you score yourself in a way you don't like, you say, oh, I need to develop more skill here to be able to do that better, right? If I go out and you and I go out and we hang out to play tennis and I'm not good at it at first. I don't say, oh, I suck at all sports. I say, I'm not good at this tennis thing. I need to figure out how to hold this racket and make sure this ball gets over that net. And when it comes back to me, you don't hit me in the eye. You know, it's like you have to realize your emotional life and navigating it. It's a skill set. And when it's a skill set, you can get better at it. Obviously, that is why you're here. But I want to remind you of that because I'm going to hear, I can tell you right off the bat how good you are with emotional intelligence. Are you ready? Okay, some of you ain't going to like this. And I know you're all going to light up here in a minute here, but you might not like it. Your emotional intelligence is directly correlated with how hard you have been on yourself this year. Right? If you've been so hard on yourself this year, then this is a great session for you because you need to develop greater emotional acuity, greater emotional strength, greater emotional resilience, greater emotional intelligence, right? And if you've always been hard in your life, but you're like, no, no, no, but I understand my emotions. No, because if you're constantly hard on yourself, that's coming up because of emotions. You feel an emotion you don't like, you take the emotion and you describe it to self. This is why you keep getting it wrong. I'm here. I wanted to help you do this, separate yourself from the skill set of managing emotions. Just go, you know what? I'm kind of not managing that well today. I can understand that. I don't manage things great every day and every time without saying, I suck. Okay, parents out there, you know this, right? You can be a great parent, a good parent, a loving parent, a caring parent, but sometimes when little Johnny or Sally or whoever comes in and you lose it, that moment in dealing with that child right there, it might not be your best, but it doesn't take away from the fact that you're caring, giving parent, right? You don't take individual interactions with that child when it doesn't go right, and globalize it into, you're terrible. That's globalization and catastrophizing, you follow? Well, don't do that with your emotions either, right? Don't do that with your emotions. There is days, don't tell nobody but Brendan Burchard, the motivation manifesto guy, which is currently the best selling motivation text so far of this century. With motivation in the title, there's days I'm not motivated. That doesn't mean I'm like, oh, I'm a terrible person. Look how incongruent and awful I am. Oh, my God, it's like, you know, I didn't manage my focus, my energy well today. I wasn't clear with my intentions. I didn't energize my mind and my body to get excited about my purpose. I didn't do the things that are necessary to summon and sustain the emotion I wanted. Instead, I just accepted what landed on me. Feel crappy. And now what do you do when you feel crappy? These are the things we're going to talk about today. So I hope this is helpful. And I'm kind of going over why people really struggle with this. And I know it might feel really negative upfront, but I'm trying to tell you this, this is why more of our culture doesn't talk about it. This is difficult. When I'm asking people to score themselves, they're like, what? How can you do that? Well, I'll share with you one last big idea about why I think people really struggle with this topic is because they think the conversation about emotional intelligence is some way that like emotions are irrational or not as important or you know, it's some of those people who quote unquote feel way left brained or. No, I'm more of an engineering mind, Brendan. Emotions don't get into my thinking process, you know, and they're more like they feel like emotions are irrational or not important or not a priority or are weak. When the reality is your wellness and your decision making and your interactions with others is predicated upon your ability, your ability to have holistic contemplation. What do you mean by that? You can't make a decision if you X out emotion. There's the logical and the emotional and these things are always talking to each other. You can't separate them. The more you try to separate them, the more life becomes miserable because what happens is you become an incredibly analytical person who doesn't feel anything or you become an incredibly feeling oriented person who's not taking the time to think through things and so consequences on either side aren't good. We want you to be incredibly holistic in your contemplation, your decision making. And that means your whole body, mind, life comes into how you live and experience life. We want you fully activated heart, mind, body, soul to enjoy a great life. That's part of emotional intelligence, right? But we don't say that often. So people go ah, emotions. And it's like, oh no, no, no. If you've been a person like ah, emotions, I bet your happiness meter is lower than you think it is. I bet if you took a life satisfaction score or you really contemplate about where you're at, you'd realize life should feel better. Do you know how many people I know and coach who they're so successful? I mean they have it all and they're so smart and they're completely unfulfilled. They're unfulfilled, they're disengaged and they can't quite explain why. It's because they haven't been managing Their emotions, well, they haven't brought emotion into life. It's like they have relationships, but the relationships don't have pop and vibe and spirit and joy. Right? It's like they do tasks every day but they don't feel the day. And that's why I'm always sharing with you guys. It's about feeling the day. After you have everything you wanted in life, what do you want more of? You want to feel the day more? A sense of connection and meaning and fulfillment and satisfaction and intimacy and joy and vibe and pop. Right? That's what we want. So emotions aren't something to crowd out. Emotions are something to navigate. Emotions are something to summon. Emotions are something to spark with others. And emotions are something to utilize and to sense the wholeness and the beauty of life. All right. Hi, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard, founder of growth day. And today we have a special session on the topic of improving your relationships. So if you are in an intimate relationship, you have a partner, you have a spouse, you have someone you're dating and you're trying to improve that or set that relationship up for great success. This is the topic we're taking on today in growth day, one of our most requested topics because clearly we've all learned over the last year and throughout the pandemic how difficult it was to have great relationships. If suddenly now you're locked in the house with somebody or you had distance, how do you create a great relationship is something I think we all want. I'm always sharing with you all here in growth day that we all want greater aliveness. We all want more connection. We to all want, we all want more meaningful pursuits and we all want more growth. And if you're going to grow in any area that brings you more vibrancy and fulfillment and life satisfaction over the long term, it is with your relationships. Now I've got a lot of fun to do today with you because in talking about relationships, I made sure not only to come back. I'm going to share a couple different perspectives today. One, I'll definitely share the research and you know, if you know my work now, it's 25 years studying personal development in depth, including psychology, neuroscience, sociology, behavioral economics, the whole nine yards to understand what is it that helps people become higher performing and create greater well being and relationships. That's what I do. Right. So a lot of research I'll share with you here today. But also kind of a little bit magical, hopefully I'll share my own personal perspectives in dating in Relationship in marriage Also share with you the Denise's. So for those who've been through Transformation Week or have ever taken some teaching and training from Denise and I, I asked her literally this morning for her list of most important practices that have kept us sane and happy for all these years. Going on 18 years. And just like anyone else, ups and downs, challenges in relationships, they are not easy. And so part of that is because you have a different perspective than your partner or your spouse. I also know with the worldwide community, some of you all aren't in a relationship right now. You just ended one and you're trying to debrief and learn and think of, okay, what's it going to be like next time? Or you're dating somebody right now and you're trying to see if you want to deepen that relationship or maybe they're not the person some of you are like, dude, I don't want a relationship right now, but I'd sure like to know this stuff to help my friends. So I'm always telling what to do over coffee. So wherever you're at, I'm going to make some assumptions today because this is a, this is literally a seminar on how to improve your intimate relationship. I'm going to use the terms partner or spouse a lot today. I'll kind of default to partner because maybe that partner someone you're dating and you're deep in that relationship you're just starting, or it might be a spouse that you're with and maybe you like them or you're trying to improve it. Wherever you're at, it's okay. I've had ups and downs in my relationships my whole life. I know it is not an easy thing. I'm not here to preach to you. I'm here to say this is such an important area of your life. Get this better and everything gets better. Right? You know that when your partner, your spouse, your significant other, when they are happy and fulfilled and you are happy and fulfilled, there's a greater flow and magic of energy and love between you. And so it's always about, okay, let me own my stuff and let me help this person in my relationship. Let me support them and cheer them on too. And so I'm going to share two different perspectives. I'm going to start with one that is kind of the double sided coin that makes relationships so hard and that is simple rules that you already know, right? And I hope today a lot of what I share is common sense. But, but we all know it's not always common practice and that's why so many relationships fall apart. So simple. One first double sided coin. We all know these two rules, right? One is put the relationship first. Right? We all heard that before. And this is Denise's. I'm going to combine two of hers together right here. One is put the relationship first. But the flip side of that coin is you must grow and be independent and be striving to be your best in and outside of the relationship. Otherwise, if you aren't growing, the relationship becomes stagnant. And so it's interesting, that's that interdependence, independence thing that makes all these relationships so dang hard, right? Is because, yes, you want to pour yourself into your partner and your spouse and support them and cheer them on and make decisions just for the relationship. And we all have the individual spirit that wants to manifest and reach our own full potential. And how do we do those two things in union and alignment. We talk a lot about that today. Our first teaching today is that simple understanding. There's two sides of a coin in relationship. There's relationship first and there is growing and reach your potential independently as well. That interdependence, independence, you must recognize the push and the pull of that and be attentive to that at all times to have a great relationship. I would argue that almost 90% of conflicts in relationships are actually not about who cleaned, you know, the kitchen. It's not about, you know, the finances or this kid didn't do that in the household. No, no. What it usually tends to be is a push and a pull between interdependence and independence and the couples not understanding that duality and not mitigating for that duality. And so one person's like, relationship first. We should do everything together. We should be on the same page. It should be perfect together. And relationship first also, though, means, hey, when you're making decisions about your life, make it please. In the context that we have chosen to live life together, who's ever had a relationship where the person was completely oblivious to this idea of make the relationship first, Right. It was probably miserable for you. It was like this person doesn't prioritize us. And I believe that one thing has really helped us, me and Denise in our relationship is honestly, she defaults to that. She is so good. And bringing me back to that too, that it is about us. We plan together. We have to have the journey together. You know, don't just go do these things. Think about how does that impact us, our life, our family. And she is really just good at that. And I believe that's what has taught me to be a better man, I hope in the relationship. We've gotten more and more years into our relationship together. I think that that is really powerful. How do you put your relationship first? You always make decisions within the context of realizing you're in a relationship together. Like, obvious, right? And it doesn't mean you can't have independent decisions. It means those decisions still take place in understanding the effects and the consequences of your actions within the relationship. When we forget there's consequences of our actions within a relationship, the relationship inevitably becomes something separate than us. And when this relationship is separate than us, they feel a separatedness. And the more your partner feels a separateness in the relationship, the more that relationship struggles. This is why you hear people say, I was like, make decisions together, plan together, know what you're both working on together. That's the idea of relationship first. It's all right, I have a life partner. That means I do life with my partner. So when I plan things in my life, I think about my partner. And that simple reminder, I know not all of you need, but you've been in relationships where that was not true. And if you have been, you know what I'm talking about. In that separateness, you don't feel like you really know the person or you feel like they don't value your opinion. You feel like they are living their own life and they don't care about you or the effect on your family. And so it's so important for us to always remember. All right. When I think about relationships, I always think about the coin. I call it the coin. Interdependence, independence, relationship first. Okay, got it. And the opposite side, which so many people naturally gravitate towards and know, especially if in a growth day community like this, which is you must continue improving yourself and fulfilling yourself if that relationship is going to come into a true, deep, meaningful, fulfilling relationship. Right? If you're stagnant, don't get mad that the relationship is stagnant. If your partner is stagnant, meaning they're not growing, they're not stretching themselves, they're not trying to learn about their mindset or their effect of energy on other people or to become more productive towards meaningful pursuits that matter to them, well, then what happens? It's like you're growing and you're extending, but they are not. Who's ever been there? That's super hard. Now the challenge is you can't. If relationship first is one side of that coin and growing is the other. And you happen to be the person on that coin. You're growing and you don't sense that they are because relationships are first. You also cannot be bitter towards them, hate them, be jaded about it, because there's probably been points in your life where you weren't growing at your potential either. And what is the thing between, like, what is the material? I call it between the coin, interdependence and independence. What's the material? Right. If you have a penny, you know that the material is copper, Right? In between. Right. What is the in between? Here's my philosophy. The in between, the stuff of the coin is called grace. Grace. If two people are going to come together and it's going to work out, there's got to be grace between them. Grace when you're growing and they're not. Grace when they're growing and you're not. Grace when they're struggling and you're doing great. Grace when you fall a little bit away from each other. And without that, it's really hard to keep that coin unified and valuable, if you will. And so I want to begin today with a simple idea. I know after teaching about relationships, literally for 15 years, and I've been blessed to coach some of the highest level couples in the business world and some of the highest level Olympic couples. I mean, I work with couples in every possible scenario that you can imagine, from new parents, to people who have chosen not to have children, to people who are just trying to finally create depth and meaningfulness in a new relationship. I can share with you 15 years of coaching. You have to imagine every conversation or every other conversation brings up a relationship that somebody is in. And what I have seen over and over and over again when either teaching or coaching on relationships is your or the listener or the student's immediate impulse to judge the other person. So as I'm teaching today, it's very easy. Ugh. My husband, he's like this. My wife, she's like that. And you're immediate, like, soon as I start teaching about something, you immediately cast the other person as the wrongdoer. And if we're going to explore relationships today, no, the material in between interdependence and independence is not wrongdoer. It's grace. If you want the relationship to improve, if you want the relationship to deepen, if you want that thing to feel better, no bitterness here, no judgment here. I always say judge less, feel better. Okay, let's not judge our partners or spouses here. Let's educate, let's learn. Let's explore how we think you can't control them. Maybe you're lucky and they're watching with you, and some of you are doing that. That's great, you know, but if your partner or spouse isn't here with you right now, don't make this a judge session on them. Even if you're in turmoil, even if they feel separate, even if you're fighting, I want you instead to say, let me explore my relationships with openness and grace. Let me be accountable for my stuff, think through my stuff, and not make this a session of they're bad and they're the wrongdoer. Because I promise you, as soon as you make your partner, spouse, the wrongdoer, life gets hard, that relationship struggles. And so I want to start with laying this idea onto you of the coin. Interdependence, independence, relationship first grow so you don't stagnate. And as you have that difficult duality sometimes in between, what makes a relationship work is grace. That means understanding, compassion, forgiveness, openness to the other and their life amid your relationship. I hope that helps. That's the first idea. The coin. The coin, man, the coin. Second, big idea. And this is what, you know, I'll come into this perspective of the first thing I would say to someone once they get that, which you always keep front of, mind you, in a relationship, you are co creating the future together. When relationship gets difficult, what happens is we are judging the past or we are feeling upset about the current thing. And what happens is sometimes in relationships, they took the eye off the ball that, oh, we're building a life together. We are co creating a future a in which we are both happy, fulfilled, cared for, loved, excited. It won't be perfect, but it will be better than today. That's what we're doing. We're building our ideal future today, even when it sucked today, because the kids did this all over the house and this finance situation over here, and I'm having this trouble, and she doesn't understand or he doesn't understand, and you're in that place where they. They don't get it. Oh, my God. Okay, this is a time to reorient, all right? I'm not here to be angry about the past. I'm not here to be upset about right now. It's like, oh, we're on a project together building the future. You know, so funny how people sometimes have some complete behavior that is different at work than at home. And obviously these are two different things. But so many people, you know, if they're at work and they're working on a project, they have to deliver something amazing to a client, right? They collaborate. If there's a problem, they solve it, they move on. And it's kind of like solve, move on, solve, move on. Because what are we trying to do? We're trying to deliver this thing. You're trying to deliver a future for you and your family together. You're trying to co create something that is better and more beautiful than you could even imagine now. You know, I've been very lucky to do hospice work in my life and be with people and their families at the end of their lives. And you and I both know that in those moments, towards the end, relationships really matter. And I've been with couples in those last days and moments. And the beauty of a couple that has built a good life together in those last moments, it's incomparable. It's inca the solace, the peace, the reverence for life that happens when a couple built a good life together and they get to be together or support each other in their last weeks or months or years of life. It's really an incredible sight to behold. It's very humbling. It's very humbling. It was always a reminder to me they built a good life. So at the end, they're handling this well. They feel fulfilled and grateful to have had each other. It's a beautiful. It's really. If you haven't been with people towards the end, it's super hard to explain because it's so magical. It's also so rare because very few people remember, oh, we're building this life together. You know, I've officiated some weddings with some friends and oh my gosh, I've been to so many weddings I can't even count. And I always try to think about the couple in the future. What are they going to be like? What do they desire? What's the win for them on either side of that coin? What does it look like in the future? Maybe today, if you've been struggling in a relationship or you came out of one and things just weren't good, maybe today is that day. You go into your journal and growth day and you actually spend 20 minutes, 30 minutes an hour writing about what would be that future relationship that you want or you're willing to create with your partner, your spouse, or somebody new in the future, what does that look like? Because you're co creating the future together. That's so powerful. You know, I think of some of my favorite times in my relationship with Denise. And it would be times when we were, you know, we were working, you know, we were, we were, we had separate careers, but we were like on the same page because we're gonna go, you know, buy this dream house and she's gonna design it and I'm gonna, you know, do these parts and we're take on this project together to move somewhere or to, or to open this business or to try this new adventure. And it's like this future oriented thing. Maybe you have that in your own life, in your spouse, your partner. When you go on vacation and you plan the vacation a little bit together, then you both kind of get excited about it together. Because having a compelling future about your relationship, that opens the heart. When you see nothing but a dead end and an awful day again tomorrow and the next day and the month after that, you and I both know how bad that feels. And so we must, no matter how difficult it is, reorient ourselves to an idyllic future together and do the hard work to get there. It's not just about co creating the future though. My related point here is we're co creating the future and we are co creating energy together. One of my favorite questions in mediation. So mediation usually means in my world that there's two partners or two parties and they're fighting and they can't resolve their stuff. So I'm brought in to help them work through stuff, right. And I spent a lot of my college years and grad school years doing this. And so I would see, you know, all these examples of where people were really, they thought they were fighting about content. But the really issue was they, it was the process and the energy that they were fighting about. It wasn't about the kids or the finances or that thing she did or he did. It was really about the energy they were feeling then. So I would always love to ask them. Literally my first couple questions to a couple is tell me about the energy you two create together when you're alone, what's the energy of the house when you're on a trip? What's the energy between you when you're out with friends, what's the energy? And inevitably if the relationship. Listen to this so closely. If the relationship is in a tough place, one person is blaming the other for that energy not realizing. In relationships, energy is co created. This can be your day for personal growth. This can be that day you committed to and you remember, you go beyond. That was the day I got myself a community, I got better coaches. I committed to making my life the absolute best that I could. This is that day. Make today your growth day. Click the button on this page and sign up right now.
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