Motivation - Myth of Limiting Beliefs

Hey, everybody, it's Brendan. And I wanted to share with you a recent post that received 27,000 likes and over 400 comments. And in sharing this post with you, it might also share something that triggers within you a bigger thought about who you are and what you're capable in life. I know that's a big grandiose statement, but here's what happened. I was in a coaching situation with a client in High Performance academy, and she kept saying, well, Brendon, my limiting beliefs are preventing me from succeeding. My limiting beliefs are sabotaging me. My limiting beliefs are causing me all sorts of turmoil in my life. And let me tell you this, if that's a belief you have, I just have to share that. You know, limiting beliefs and the entire concept of limiting beliefs has gotten way too much airplay in our industry for nearly a century now. And it's time we move beyond it. And to share with you an example of what I mean by that, I'll share with you what I posted. It was just an interaction she and I was having. And she said to me, well, but, Brendon, what about my doubts and fears? And I responded, well, what of them? They're not going to go away. The question is, are they winning the day or are you? I say, what of your greatness and your power when you connect there? Finally, after all this time, your insecurities shall be irrelevant. And I share this with you because here's what's happening. A lot of people believe that they have all these limiting beliefs and these insecurities and these promise and their internal dramas and emotional turmoil. And that's the reason they're not playing a bigger game in life. That's the reason they're having problems. But in psychology, there's been a tidal shift this century over this last 12 years that has really started having people look differently, not just at the academics of psychology, but the entire scientific approach of what we've known about the human mind over the last centuries. And here's what I mean, if you take a look at some different disciplines, we've learned a lot about how you actually do use your mind and what's important. And we've learned to change our emphasis from the negative to more of the positive. And if you study anything in the psychology world, you've been hearing all about positive psychology now for this last decade where Marty Seligman and a group of really intelligent and members of the American Psychological association, members of really the leading pioneers in neuroscience and psychology are saying, why is it we're so focused Academically and scientifically, at a broader cultural level, on our problems, on our weaknesses, on our maladies. And if you look back at the last five decades, specifically of academic rigor in the field of psychology, here's what you see over and over and over again. A focus on disorder, a focus on mental illness, a focus on our maladies and our problems. And a lot of people are starting to say, well, well, why don't we focus with as much rigor on our virtues and our strengths and the things that are healthy about us? Why so much emphasis on mental illness? And why not more emphasis on mental health? And that's also happening in the business world. You see, like Donald Clifton and Marcus Buckingham talking about their book now discover your strengths. Well, he said, why is it that in corporate America and in our employee, manager or leader relationships, we always focus on what's wrong with us? You know, our whole job at work is to identify our weaknesses and improve ourselves so we can get better against our weaknesses. So all of our managers and all of our teams are managing to weakness versus our strengths. Why don't we focus on and position ourselves and put ourselves in work that really align ourselves with our passions and our strengths and our virtues? It's also happening in, you know, the major media conversations of the day. Why are we still focused on all the major media in the conflict and the problems and the challenges of the world and. And not focus on what is happening. That's right. And inspiring and moving us forward versus what's conflicting is holding us back. And so you see this movement that's been happening over the last decade, some would argue even more longer than that, but it's catching fire. And the reason it's catching fire is because it's simply true and valid in terms of getting transformation in people. You know, this whole emphasis that the self help movement has had on quote, unquote, limiting beliefs, has limited our human potential. We have this situation where so many people think, oh, it's because my beliefs are, you know, I have these limiting beliefs and they're just sabotaging me. And I have to say, you know what? That's not what it's doing. It's not your limiting beliefs. It's your limiting vision about who you are and what you're capable of. So what I want to do is share four very simple ideas that might actually make you feel stronger. I know that's a big promise. Let's check it out. Because you know what the challenge with most people is? It's not even the type of belief they're having. But here, let me share this concept we talk about at High Performance Academy. You've probably read in my book the activating the 10 human drives that make you feel alive. If we're going to make you feel more alive and more strong and more powerful and more capable of changing, here's what we have to change. Not your limiting beliefs. We have to change your entire focus of what you're looking at. And there's this concept we call rwid. I think this is the most important concept really in the field of psychology. And frankly, personal achievement is the relative weight of importance and duration that you're giving to any given thought. Anyway, relative weight of importance and duration. Let me give an example of what that is. This coaching client, you know, she's constantly focusing on her limiting beliefs. Oh, well, you know, I just have this insecurity that, you know, I'm not good enough. And my limiting belief is I'm always, you know, I just. I just don't think I'm good enough. And I'm always thinking I'm not good enough. Yeah, exactly. You're always thinking you're not good enough. So her relative weight of importance and duration of her thoughts, when it's balanced between I'm not good enough versus I'm capable and strong and competent, it's always over. Here she's giving this thought more weight. The truth is, in your mind, at any given moment, you're having two thoughts. It's almost a duality of what we think about ourselves. If you're thinking about your insecurities, there's also a part of you that's aware that that's an insecurity. So you're competent and capable of understanding your strengths as well. Does that make sense? So if you know your folks, if you have this insecurity, there's a part of you that's saying, yeah, yeah, maybe I feel like a mouse, but there's a part of you inside that makes you feel like a lion too. The problem is all of your weight of your focus, of your mind has been going to those limiting things versus those expanding or powerful things. The weight of your attention is focused on your weaknesses, your problems, your limits. And the importance you're giving that thought is more important than you're giving to the ideas of your own strengths. And the duration is dictating your destiny. The duration of how long do I focus and give my attention to those things that are limiting me to those worries, to those weaknesses versus how long am I giving my mental focus and Attention to something that's bigger or better or bolder within me. It might sound like a bunch of semantics and I get that. But you know, I've been blessed now to help so many people transform their life through our videos and our works, whether it's our best selling books or all the videos we have online from our promotions and everything else that we do. And I can share with you over and over and over again with what is it that's going to actually change somebody's life? It's not removing their limiting beliefs. And I know that sounds silly, but it's like just if you just put less pressure on the brake in your car, it doesn't mean you're going to speed up, right? Your foot's still on the brake. If you're always focusing on these things that are limiting you, you're always going to be limited just because your relative weight of importance and duration of your focus and your attention is on these limiting things. And it's time. In our culture, just like in our psychology, in our study of psychology, we got to move from mental illness to mental health. We've got to get you to move from your limiting beliefs into something bigger and greater and grand about yourself. We've got to stop you focusing on all the reasons that you're a mouse in life and start focusing on why you're a lion, why you have something within you that's more bold and powerful and profound and than you ever even knew. So what we have to do is change what I call your dominant frame of attention and focus. Most people's dominant frame, they're given that relative weight of importance to those things that limit them. And I say, you know what? This year, this next year has to be the year for you that you're limitless, that you're going to go, okay, you know, enough. I mean, how far have you gotten in your life now where you're just constantly beating yourself and berating yourself and worrying about your limits and, and worrying about all these things. Of all the reasons that you have to be worried, to be weak, to be less than you are. It's like what Marianne Williamson said so long ago. You're not serving the world by playing small and you're not serving the world by constantly focusing on your limiting beliefs and trying to remove them. Look, you will always have insecurity. I know that's really motivating, but you're always going to have it. I work with some of the top professionals in every given field, some of the best athletes in the world. Some of the best well known celebrities and many of the people who are the best performers in any given industry. And I can tell you, they still have their doubts and their fears. They still have times when they wake up and they're just like, I don't know what to do with myself. That doesn't ever go away. And that's great because it's part of the human condition that also makes us humble, makes us real, makes us check ourselves. And I'm not saying that, you know, we all have to go around being happy optimists all the time, but I will share with you if you didn't know. Optimists are much more capable of changing the world than pessimists are. It's not a guess, it's proven by science. And what do we mean by that? Optimism is one of the most studied thing in the psychology literature, period. It's one of the most studied traits. Optimists are more likely to face a problem than pessimists because pessimists go, oh, I can't change it, I can't do anything about it. It's going to be that way forever. It's pervasive problem and I don't have a control of it. An optimist says, well, I could probably handle that. We can change that too. In other words, pessimists tend to avoid problems that need to be changed and optimists tend to confront them and move forward and do something about it. That's pretty profound and it's pretty proven now. So yeah, I'm saying while not all of us can go around being happy, go lucky and avoiding all of our limits, I'm also saying, you know what, maybe it is time that we focus on those things that we can change. Focus on something that's bigger than ourselves and our own little insecurities and worries. And I think that's the challenge right now with so many people saying limiting beliefs, limiting beliefs. Look, they're there, you're going to have them. The question is, are they going to win the day? I have insecurities and worries all the time. I'm worried about the stupid haircut I had yesterday. It doesn't really slow me down that much. I have a moment to serve you right now. I. I'm not going to focus on that. So let me give you three ideas that I call your dominant frame. That if we can move you from this focus of limiting belief, limit, limit, limit, and we can move you into focusing on something different, then we might actually be able to change the quality of your life. Let me give you this first concept that I think will really serve you. And that concept is, where is it? Ah, greatness. What if we took your focus from all of your weaknesses and your insecurities that you still always have? They'll always come up, right? They're always going to be there. But we made your dominant frame now of the relative weight of importance and duration we gave you on your greatness. And so that every time a new problem comes up in your life, and they'll always be there, every new challenge will come up in your life. What if when that new challenge or problem came up in your life, you turned your focus and attention not from how big that problem is, but how big you are, and you stepped into the greatest part of who you are, the things that made you strong and competent and capable. What if you were willing to step into your greatness? Not greatness of ego, but greatness of a realization of the power of choice that you've been given by your creator, the greatness of who you are capable of being when you are acting from your highest self, the greatness that you know lives within you and it just needs to be unbound again. What if you just found the time and the ability within yourself to focus on what is great within you? Find that? What if you acted every day? What if you acted for no other reason, just because I said it, but you started acting in your life? What would the greatest me do right now? You know, you see someone you want to go up and talk to. Of course, your limiting beliefs might fire off. You see them, they're going to come up, right? Like on the dashboard of your consciousness. Like, bam. Like, no, you're ugly. Oh, no, I'm not good enough. They won't like me. They'll reject me. Those might happen, but do they win? Is that where your focus goes? Or are you going to learn this relative weight of importance and duration and give more relative weight and importance and duration to this concept of what would I do if I was my greatest self right now? What's magnificent about me? What might this person appreciate? What am I capable of? It's just turning your entire focus. I'm saying, look, you're limiting beliefs. Forget about them. Let's focus on what's empowering and what is great about you again. And I think that might move the needle in terms of your ability to move forward in life. I also asked a simple question. What if we turn your dominant frame to focus on your aliveness? You know, so many people say to me, well, Brendan, I'm wiped out. I'm tired. I wish I had your energy or whatever. I know a lot of people don't want to have my energy. It's too annoying. I get it. But what if we had you tap back into your aliveness again? You know, what if you just chose not for any reason, not for what emotions come up in your human body because emotions just come up, right? Your nervous system. Sometimes you don't even know why you feel what you feel. Like something can be trigger you, a sound, a movement, something someone says, or just your physical body of what you ate a couple hours ago or how much you slept three days ago can catch up to you. And your body and your emotions can kind of go. But we have the saying the power plant doesn't have energy, it generates energy. What if your dominant frame said, you know, I'm going to focus on my aliveness, and you started cultivating an aliveness in your body and in your mind. Focus for no other reason than I said so. No other reason than you decided to. You said, you know what? Today I'm gonna focus on what's great about me, but I'm also gonna focus on being fully alive and engaged and present. And how do you do that? What if you just felt more grateful for the life that you had? You know, look, you're breathing, you're alive. We have this incredible gift that we're all here right now. You know, it's like, I'm here, you're here. What if we took that seriously and we started realizing what a gift it is to be alive? And we allowed ourselves to feel alive. Not for any reason. No one made us happy. No one did anything for us. We just felt alive again. And we started asking ourselves on a daily basis, what level of aliveness do I feel in my body right now? Do I feel at a level 0, like dead, or do I feel like a level 10? I'm fully alive, fully engaged, fully present. And we willed ourself into. Into feeling more alive every day. It's the number one question I get from all of my work. It's like, wow, you have a lot of energy on what you do. How do you get it? I don't get it. I don't find it. I generate it. The power plant doesn't have energy. It generates it. If you want to feel better about your life, generate more aliveness for no other reason than you choose to. And then finally, the last frame. Love. What if we all started living our life not from all of our concerns or our worries or our inadequacies, but from something that was more abundant and more real and more heart centered and more magical. You know, the greatest gift we were all given was the ability to feel and cultivate and give love. And if you believe that, then I just ask, well, how much have you been emphasizing living from that place? You know, so many people are, they're stuck, they're, they've been in a place where they've been hurt before and I've certainly been through it. If you know my story, you know, I've been through some knockout drag out relationships in my life that really did affect my psyche and it hurt me. But you know what? So what? So many of us build up this big barrier to keep all the bad guys out so we don't get hurt anymore. But if you build up this big barrier to keep out the bad guys who can't get in, the good guys. And so it's realizing that maybe this is an opportunity for you in your life again to reconnect and to love others more openly and more honestly and more fully. And that's been part of my message now for 16 years of doing this business of teaching people and helping them realize that, you know, at the end of your life you're going to ask, did you live and did you love and did you matter? So do that. And I just say, you know what? This is the secret to all of that relative weight of importance and duration. What's going to win the day? Your limiting beliefs and your insecurities and your weaknesses or your greatness and your aliveness and your love? I say, let's turn your dominant frame to how magnificent and extraordinary you really are. The insecurities, they're going to come up. We can work on them all day. But you know what? Every psychologist and every therapist especially, who's done a lot of work with people, they'll tell you, look, we can take people into their past all day long. We can go back into your childhood. We can go back to all those experiences that made you feel less than or not part of, or not loved. We can go back, we can research them, we can psychoanalyze them all day long. But what's the point of going back into all that history except for this one thing? Therapists will all say the same thing, even those who love to do that work. And I find it to be helpful, by the way. But here's the issue. Guess what? It all leads to today, this moment right here, all of our introspection, all of our journey, psychologically into the past only benefits us if it brings us back in this moment. And in this moment now, we can make better decisions and better behaviors to live a better quality of life for ourselves. Isn't it true the whole point of going back into our back history, if we have any point in, is to bring us so we can make healthier choices for ourselves today. I say let's just start right here in this moment, be fully present in the moment, unattached to the past, unattached to those things that bound us up or shut us down, unattached to our limiting beliefs, and just say in this moment what a magnificent human being you are, what an extraordinary gift you are to the world, what a blessing it is to have you here, what an extraordinary opportunity you have to give to the world of yourself, to serve, to do something that matters, and to live a great quality of life for yourself. You have something right now that if we could just give that more focus, give yourself more weight to the greatness within you, give more weight to the aliveness in your body and let that amplify and give yourself permission again to. To love more fully and openly and honestly and completely. Listen, greatness and aliveness and love, they're in you. Why not focus on them? That's my challenge for you today. I hope it serves you. I look forward to seeing you in future videos. Until then, go out every single day of your life, Live fully, love openly and make your difference today.