Navigating Life's Toughest Obstacles

I believe in my ability to handle things, and I believe the root of all competence is I believe in my ability to figure things out. I might not know how yet at some point, you have to say to your life, let me handle this. How do you have more confidence in yourself? How do you have more confidence in social settings, in your skill sets, in. Even in your service and your purpose on this planet? And so that's what we're talking about all month. But this week on the Growth Day morning show, we'll take this topic strong. Jamie, last week, we had such a great week in Growth Day. Didn't you think that was fun?

So good. Yeah. So good. And I love everyone in the community, everyone's feedback, sharing their takeaway, sharing their tips, saying, this is what I needed to hear today. That's literally. And I say a prayer before every morning show. It's like, I. I hope Brendan and I share something that's of service. You know what I mean? We're all in this together. And so I hope it's the show where when you tune into it, you're like, I needed that. Are Brennan and Jamie talking to me? I needed that today because I think no matter where we're at and what part of the country or the world we live in or what we're going through inside our families or what we're going through inside our own journey to confidence or launching our own dreams, we all really do share some of the same fundamental experiences and life lessons and struggles.

Like right now, y', all, who is this week? The struggle is just real. Like, you got a lot going on this week. You're trying to balance it. You're trying to deal it. You know, my. My prayer every Monday is the same. I just posted it on my Instagram. It's the same since I don't know how long, eight, nine years now. And it's just like, thank you, God, for this opportunity to serve today. You know, grant that I may, you know, be focused, may. Might be mindful and present. Might serve with excellence. Might be a force of love, just trying to. Just trying to hopefully do a good job. So I think. I hope you all heard that. You know, I think that's pretty cool. Jamie and I both, you know, start with just a morning intention to be prayerful, to be grateful, to. Please, God, let us do a good job this week. You know, let us do a good job this week. Who has a lot going on this week.

No, it's so true. And I love, too. I saw what you posted this morning and I love how you ended your prayer to you just like, let me be a force for love. Because I think that, you know, here's the thing. There's so much, there's so much fulfillment in just those words, but also freedom. Like, for example, I always laugh almost every morning of the morning show, before the morning show because Brendan and I hop on and, you know, we're about to go live and just there's this space of time where I'll just. We quickly just dive into whatever.

Yes. Because that's what you said earlier. Because you said earlier. I love it. I hope you all heard her say it's a secret phrase. She said that I have had the blessing of working with a lot of people who sold companies for a billion dollars, like Jamie. And she said when an issue came up, she said, let me handle it. And I hope you heard her say that. Let me handle it. I think that is so important for people to know as the root of what psychologists call self efficacy, which is I believe in my ability to handle things. And I believe the root of all confidence is I believe in my ability to figure things out. I might not know how yet, but I'm going to figure it out. Like today I'm going live. I'll be live for five hours amid all our different paying subscribers. Five hours, different groups, right? And to do that, I code all the pages, I set all the embed scripts, I send all the emails. I literally have to hit live on multiple devices. And oh yeah, I have to teach. And I had no idea how to do that 10 years ago. And now, you know, this is tens and tens and tens and millions of dollars of a business. And I'm still coding, I'm still posting, I'm still like, literally I have like doing things I have no idea how to do, but I have a checklist and I don't know how to do many things on the checklist, but I have a checklist and I have Google and I have hope and dreams in my heart. Let's go. That's confidence. It doesn't mean you know everything or can do everything. It means give me enough time, let me apply my will, my intention, my focus, my purpose, my joy onto this thing and we'll figure it out. That's where I have so much confidence. I know I will figure it out. I'm not going to figure out as fast as other people. I'm not as smart other people. I'm not going to figure it out to the perfection level because I don't believe in perfection. But I'll get in the mix. I'll get my hands dirty. I'll figure it out. You know, we'll get the thing operating. It might not be the most beautiful looking car driving down the road that I build, but you know what? It's gonna get down to the edge of the block before it breaks down. You know what I'm saying? So you gotta. You gotta have confidence in yourself to believe in your ability to figure things out. You have to get in motion. But I love how at some point you have to say to your life, let me handle this. You got too many bills, you gotta learn how to handle it. Yeah, you got a health issue, you gotta learn how to handle it just like everybody else. Seven billion people on the planet woke up this morning thinking, how do I do good for my family? How do I earn? How do I deal with my to do list? Jamie's not the only one with a long to do list today. Neither am I. We all woke up today and said, okay, how do we do good today? How do I feel good today? How do we move the ball forward today? And confidence is the secret sauce that helps us do that. So, Jamie, how did you develop confidence? And when it goes away, how do you get it back?

Yeah. Okay, so two things, and I love Brendan, that we're going into Confidence week, right? And that it's. It's. We're going from Vision Week into Confidence week because I think the two are so closely linked also, because again, a lot of. For me, how I get back to that place of confidence is I remember the vision, right? And one thing that I. That I want to say is, like, when you're talking about, you just have faith in your ability to figure things out. And, you know, your car might not be the prettiest one that you build in that moment, but you also kind of know where you're going. And I just think the two are really tied. And, you know, one quick story that I just want to share in case it's a value to anyone as we go into confidence Week is in building at cosmetics, right? There were so many things that. And our whole mission, our whole mission as a company wasn't to sell products that work, even though that's what we did. It was to instill confidence and to shift the entire definition of beauty that we were all raised with, right? And it was more important to me to help women and our customers feel confident all the time. Not just when they feel like wearing a makeup product, but more importantly, when they don't. On the Days they don't. You know what I mean? And so this was. Confidence was a huge focus for what we did and what we built. And I just want to share one thing, because as we come out of Vision Week and you shared your battle board and everything else, I think us knowing where we're going, I really believe is so important for confidence and at it Cosmetics. I did so many things wrong along this journey of going from my living room and not being able to afford to hire anyone for three years to building over a thousand employees and a billion dollar company. But one of the things I did right was we kept the vision in the heart and soul, literally in front of everyone physically. And that helps you keep confidence in your product development decisions and your hiring decisions, in how you show up on the day. And so to get really granular when you walked into our offices. And I think this is important because, listen, most of us are working in our living room right now, but we can set up our living room this way, or we can set up the closet. We're recording our podcast out of this way. Or we can set. Maybe it's as simple as when you open your drawer, you have a reminder right there, right? We can do this in your closet. We can do this in all different ways. But every single employee in the whole company got a little sign that went on their desk that had all of our whole mission in photos of why we're doing what we're doing. And the customer was at the heart and soul of it, right in the center. And this became everyone's screensaver. This was printed out, put on every person's desk when you walked into the offices, right in the lot, our whole mission statement was on the front wall. And then we had these kind of pillars of belief that we believed in as a brand and the impact we wanted to make in the world and on every person that came in touch with our products. And those little beliefs, we painted them all over every place of the office. So if you walked into a conference room, you saw a belief. If you went into the bathroom, you saw a belief. If you like, they were everywhere. And we ended up referencing this back a lot, and I mean a lot over the years. And I want to share this with everyone because I think in this journey of your own vision, but also in being confident, right? A lot of people, that's the one thing that for them will change everything if they just figure out how to be confident in themselves. And if you know who you are, where you're going, the words you want to Say to yourself about yourself, even if you don't believe them yet. When you figure out all of those things, I think having them clear in places in front of you. So on every employee's desk, we had in this frame, these four photos of all the things we stood for. And in the center was our customer at the heart and soul of it. And every time something happened, Brendan, for example, there'd be a big trend in the marketplace, and everyone's making money off selling something, and the retailers are asking our company to create it. And so I have the team coming to me who wants to hit their sales goals, and they're like, okay, listen, here's what we. And we would go back to that photo. I'd be like, okay, does this serve her? Like, look at me and tell. I would say this. Like, tell me, is her life better? Literally, is it better?

Does it bring her.

Does it solve her problem? Does this fit our vision of where we're going? And usually the answer is no. And then, boom. We don't launch that product or we don't go into that retail partner or you intentions.

They were stated. People knew it. That's where we talk about. Even around. I love it, how you said around your house last week, I kept showing you guys my battle board or talking about how I plan and schedule things. It's like, if those words and that purpose isn't there, it's so easy to get distracted over here or over there. Like, you have to. Even. Even with my clients, I always have them choose, like, three words that describe the best of who they are. And then I have them put those three words as a reminder in their phone. And so these reminders pop up every day that say these words that describe the best of who they are. So maybe your word, you know, this week or this month is confident, or maybe it's bold or it's courageous or it's thoughtful or kind or loving or appreciative, whatever it is. But when those words pop up on your phone every day, it starts ingraining. That self talk in your mind reminds you, oh, right, right, right. Reorient to that, reorient to that. Reorient to that. Because those. Those words are the labels you're giving yourself. And, Jamie, you better talk about labels, because you promised them three days in a row. And if you don't do it, I'm gonna get DMs all day long. What do you do with labels? How do they impact confidence? Because I'm telling you what, I don't be a labeled bad guy. If I don't, I don't facilitate that.

Yeah. I think that in life we're not who other people say we are. Right. We're who we believe we are. And I think that, you know, as we come out of vision, we can go into confidence week. I think that we're going to spend a lot of time. I just have a feeling we're going to spend a lot of time this week, Brendon, just talking about this idea of how do we become confident. How do we become confident in our own dreams, confident in ourself, how do we overcome and break through the barriers of self doubt. And you know, I want to bring this up and this might be a multi day thing but so many of us have been told, right. So my amazing husband Paulo, I hope he's not going to kill me for sharing this, but we were talking about the topic of labels and he was raised by loving parents but he would always be told, you're the athletic one, your brother's the smart one. Right. And then as they grow up, we hear these things. Right. And sometimes we let these labels take root and sometimes it's a family member that says it or a friend that says it or somebody at school, school that says it or a colleague or it's ourselves saying it to ourselves. But those words, those labels that we give ourselves can be used to Brendan's point to really empower us and give us vision and confidence and help us to believe. But there's also labels that for a lot of us are old labels that we're still letting take root and stick to us. And oh, it's a new day. It's time to remove some of those old labels. And I don't know who out there needs to hear this right now in the growth day morning show, but we've all had labels put on us and they do not. Some of them don't serve us. And so yeah, I was telling Brendan I had a paragraph in my book about this that I wanted to share. So I am just going to share it with you really fast because this is big and my prayer for everyone, I think that these labels can hold us back and when we realize they are not permanent, they can really set us free on our own journey to confidence. So I am going to read this little excerpt. Ok, so here we go. In life, we aren't who people say we are for who we believe we are. We don't have to accept the labels that other people put on us. We are also not our family. For better or for worse or our past mistakes. We are not a nickname someone gave us or a regrettable incident. We miscalculated. It's easy to carry around old labels and mistake them for permanent ones, but they come with a light post it adhesive. So don't let yourself believe they're attached with super glue. They are removable. And sure, sometimes there's truth in some of those hurtful labels. Like for me. I'll share this story later in this week about procrastination, a season I went through. But we make new choices as we grow. We can change our minds and change our decisions about who we are and how we show up for ourselves, for others and for the world at any moment going forward. Where we come from doesn't have to determine who we are or where we're going in the future.

Hearing that because that's from Jamie's book Believe it or just go to believe it.com because she has some crazy bonuses for you. Give a round of applause. Because that's such good writing, by the way. Such a regrettable. I think you said regrettable event or that you miscalculated.

Yeah. We're not a regrettable incidents that we might have miscalculated. Right.

So. Or didn't anticipate. You know, it's. Yes.

Both.

Both of those. Because a lot of people let that label from childhood or those high school kids or their first failures that were either they caused or were regrettably like random. And I love it. Those don't. They're not super glue. She said that. They're like. They're like not even good post it notes. They're like the cheap post it notes. They won't even stick to the wall. That's what labels really need to be for you. Except the labels that you build into the foundation of your character.

Yeah.

Because you chose them. Like, because that's a different thing. It's like some. A name calling is a very different thing than character building.

Yeah.

Choosing who am I built upon? What am I built upon? Who. Who am I really? And that's why I say choosing your words about yourself and reminding yourself about those. Even on days when you suck and you're terrible and you don't do good and you. You say that to yourself like, I suck. I'm terrible. I'm awful, I'm worthless. We say these things to ourself. And that self talk builds into a pattern of thinking. A mindset which becomes a which mindset and pattern of self talk over and over and over again. That becomes a psychological pattern which becomes an identity and that identity becomes something you operate out of. And so reverse engineer that to structure yourself into a strong, capable, caring, loving, proud, ready, good learner who wants to go add value to the world. In other words, you, you add that. You, you make that. You make that. You tell that self. You tell that to yourself.

Yeah. And you know, I think too, so powerful, this is going to be such an amazing week on Growth day morning show for everybody. Because I just think if you are out there listening with me and Brendan right now and you feel like you're the only one that you're like, even you're judging yourself. Maybe it's not someone else that said something hurtful. Maybe it's you feel like because of a past mistake or.

And it's always you. Just so you know, it's always you. They will all, they listen. It's like we always think, oh, they said this. No, no, no, you agreed with it. You accepted it. You believed that negativity because we all can you raise your hand. The haters will always be there. Does everyone agree? They will, 100%. There will always be someone to doubt you, minimize you, you know, scream at you, abuse you, if you let it. Like all like that exists in the world. Let's not pretend that mean negative people can't really hurt us if, if we continually believe what they say, if we choose to believe what they say because we can choose to believe in something different, a different narrative about ourselves, a different story about ourselves. And so I think it's really important because what happens in confidence often, well, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. And, and I'm at some point, I'm like, yes, they will always be there. Who are you now? What do you want to architect into your character? What do you want to have repeating in your mind? That's the critical thing. And inevitably someone says something negative in a DM to one of us. Inevitably someone says something awful. And you have a Jamie who built a billion dollar company myself, who a peashooter compared to that. But it's like, hey, we're starting. We're doing something. We're here for you. We still get hate from doing a free show in the morning for people. Those people will always be there. So why are you worried about them?

Or the person hating is watching? Who cares?

Yeah, you guys are here. We got some haters right now. I'm sure they're there. I love you. I hope you have an awesome Monday. I hope that, I hope that whatever negativity is happening in your life. I hope that whatever pain is happening in your life, whatever good is happening in your life, I. I hope that you have a great week. I hope that every hater in the world has a great week and it blossoms some sense of acceptance, love, openness, and compassion for other people so that the hate dissipates a little bit. I hope everybody has a great week.

This is going to be the. I feel. I feel this. This confidence morning show. I feel it. It's going to be the words that, like, all of us need to hear and come together because, you know, we're coming out of a hard year and so many of us need to learn to, like, ignite light again and believe in ourselves.

I love that. You all should write that down today. Ignite our own life again. Everyone write that down. I have a course called Reignite youe Life that actually our mutual friend Oprah named it. I did. I had the course outline. She gave the title to it. And it's Reignite your life. Like, we have to do that consistently. Like, ignite your own life again. Okay, so if you guys are not yet official Growth Day members, go to growthday.com. jamie, I hope you have an awesome Monday. I know you had a lot coming into today, but I hope even just us getting together, Growth Day fires you up a little bit. For a great day.

It fires me up.

I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. So everybody, have an awesome week. Every day you can learn. Every day you can change. Every day you can set your attitude again. Every day you can choose a new editing. Every day you can summon that courage and that confidence to have a great day. Every day is a great day to grow.