New Year Goals for Winning Life in 2020

Hey, my friends. It's Brendon Burchard, and welcome to another episode of the Brendon show. Hey, y', all, it's Brendan, and I'm wishing you and your family and your loved ones a happy, a warm, wondrous holiday season. And I thought I'd share this with you to talk about how do you finish the year in a good place and how do you begin this new year, 2020, this new decade, in a wonderful place? How do you start the new year in a way that you can win? So in this session, you're actually gonna go behind the scenes with me a little bit because I'm gonna cut you into a zoom call I did with one of my clients about how I felt that their senior leaders who could really understand what they want in life and understand the five things they have to do in 2020 to win the year. So it's a little bit of an unusual format, but I felt that the content was so perfect for this time of year. And I so desperately want you to raise your ambitions for this next year and to deepen your discipline at the same time, because I want you to have that experience that we call the high performance experience in life where there's more vibrancy, more connection, more fulfillment, but it takes a different way of thinking. And I think that this training I did today really perfectly encapsulated how I feel that people can have an extraordinary life. So I thought you would really enjoy this. Please take some notes. Share this with other people who, you know, really want to have an awesome 2020, and let's end this year strong. Please enjoy this session. Don't finish this decade dissatisfied with the decade you just had. A lot of people feel like, oh, I could have gone further. I could accomplish more things. And, you know, all that might be true. Maybe you could have had a better last year. Two years, three years, four years. Maybe you could have had a better last decade. But now you are here. So connect with that feeling of gratitude and joy and presence that says, you know what? I'm here. I still got a chance. Let me get warmed up and let me enter this next decade more intentional, more disciplined, more connected to my own presence and joy and reverence for life. Because I bet every single time you got frustrated with this last decade, there's a moment where you. You checked out. There was a moment where you got overwhelmed, so you kind of turned off for a minute. You disconnected from other people. You disconnected from your passion, from your purpose, from your faith. And it was in that own it was in that disconnection that stole away the vibrancy of life. And I don't want you finishing this year in a way where you are dissatisfied. If you have this breath right now, be real, have reverence for life. I don't want you to finish this year, decade, or this decade because things didn't get as far as you want. You're not as wealthy as you want, the kids aren't perfect. You know, the career isn't going as fast as you want it to be, and so you're dissatisfied. No. Use those things to energize you to improve. Don't be dissatisfied. Be energized to improve. That's what's important. Like so many people think, well, dissatisfaction is gonna drive you. No, dissatisfaction is gonna make you miserable. You can be driven without being dissatisfied. How is that for a quotable? You can be driven without being dissatisfied. Like, I'm an incredibly driven, happy person. And yes, I'm a hot mess in some parts of my life, just like you are, but it means I'm finishing this decade in a good place. And I want you to finish this decade in a great place, feeling so connected, feeling so ready, feeling so grateful. So that when we enter 2020, the universe goes, oh, look at this young man. Look at this young woman. Look at this person who is prepared now, who appreciates life. Let us reward this person who appreciates life with more abundance, more opportunity, more just ability. Because I really believe when you are operating from a place of dissatisfaction and, like, you're just, like, bemoaning and just upset about the year, that is not going to attract anything good in the new year. And that's certainly not going to motivate you. So I want you to have the intention to finish this year in a good place, whatever that means for you. If you need to meditate, you got to go to church. You got to take some time journaling and thinking through things. Please end the year in a good place. I know I spoke a little bit about that last time we were together, but I want to reconnect you. We're heading in the holidays. Reconnect with your presence, reconnect with joy, reconnect with reverence for life. And then. And then everything else I'm going to talk about about winning in 2020, you will be in the right energy to be able to manifest that, create that, and activate that, my friends. So let's talk about the new year. Let's talk about 2020. Let's talk about this new decade. I mean, I'M still trying to fathom the fact that we have a new decade coming up. I just think it's so exciting, you know, you only get what maybe if you're the average lifespan, you get six, seven or eight of these things. Six, seven or eight times of your life. You get them. And the first two times that you got these decade begins, you know, these times where a new decade begins. You were kind of, you know, young and dumb. If you're honest, if you can look back from a mature standpoint, you're like, wow, I really didn't know anything about life yet. And now you're ending this next day decade. A more mature person, a more thoughtful person, a more ready person, a more equipped person, a more driven person, because you're simply watching this level of personal development. So I know that you're here and you're excited about it. So let me share with you what I know to be true from a human psychology and human performance standpoint about what makes a year special for people, and frankly, what makes a year and a life meaningful for people. Because I know you're about to set your New Year's goals and you want to Crush it in 2020. But let me share something with you. Did you know there are only three primary aspirations that you have, and your job is to know those three primary aspirations and to service those three primary aspirations as you enter not just, you know, a new decade or new year, but literally every week and every day. You only want three things in life. And once you get that, it's like, oh, now I can orient myself, because I know you're probably somebody who's making a long list of all the things you want to accomplish in 2020. You know, you probably got, like, note cards and journals and you've probably written something on the fridge or you've talked with the girlfriends and you've got everything, like, just set up and you're already thinking through what you want for 2020. But that entire list could be bucketed into just three things. Because as human beings, my philosophy, my belief is we only have three primary aspirations. And everything revolves around these three primary aspirations. And by the way, everything your teenager does can be explained by these three primary aspirations. Everything you did in the last week, the last quarter, the last decade of your life can be explained by how you attempted to service these three primary aspirations. Were you aware of them? Were you conscious about them? Were you deliberate about them? Or did you just go through the motions because that's what will prevent you from winning in 2020? And beyond is being unaware of your own aspirations and ambitions. Right. You read High Performance Habits, my book, I hope, and you read the first habit of all high performing people is to seek clarity. They're always trying to get more clarity about what they're trying to do, more clarity about how to win, more clarity about who they are, more clarity about how to be a better leader, more clarity about how to build the business. They're seeking clarity. They're lifelong learners, but they're willing to ask the questions. And so these three primary aspirations I'm going to share with you can be your organizing structure around everything else you do. And once you know that you only want three things, you're like, oh my gosh, it's almost like a relief because you know human behavior, so many people are completely mystified by it. I'm like, why? You only want three things? Everything else revolves around them. So my job today I'm going to share with you those three primary human aspirations. Then I'm going to break down for you what I would make sure you absolutely do all year long in 2020 to win the year. Let's start with the primary aspirations, and I'm going to use a different term here for you because it's easier for people to conceptualize sometimes than the word aspiration, which is goals. Right? We have three big buckets of goals and we aspire to keep leveling up those goals and leveling up our experience in these areas. So let's talk about those three primary aspirations for goals. The first one that you have are what we call your being goals. Okay, first one we have is your being goals. Now what does that mean? It means that each of us wants to live a vibrant life in which we are proud of our character. We want to, in other words, live an energized, congruent life. That's what being goals are for all humans. Every human wants to have good energy and wants to be proud of themselves. Let me say it again. Every human wants to have good energy and wants to be proud of themselves. If they're sick, they want better health and energy. If they're off their game and they're out of integrity and they've been living like somebody else. They're like, they want to realign to the best of who they are, to be more congruent with who they authentically are. Everybody has that. We want to be the person we aspire to be. We want to be in alignment with that, in congruent with that, in integrity with that. However you want to Use those words. But there's two goals under being goals. One, we all want to have good energy. And, and we all want to. Number two, we all want to be congruent and proud of the best of who we are. So I mean, can you imagine someone saying, well, no, Brendan, I want to feel like crap. No one is ever going to say that to you, ever. No one will ever say, I want to feel terrible, right? People will say, I feel terrible, I'm sad, I'm depressed, I'm miserable. But they won't say, I want that. Everyone wants to avoid that kind of pain. And what do they want? They want higher levels of energy and energy. When I speak about it, I've always talked about the idea and the conceptualization. The energy is mental energy, physical energy, spiritual energy. It is a physical vitality, but also a mental and spiritual vitality. And so my question to you is, what are you going to do in 2020 to improve your energy? What are you going to do? Are you going to work out more? Because did you know high performers are over 40% more likely to work out five times per week than underperformers? Did you know high performers are 60% more likely to value good nutrition than underperformers? Did you know that high performers really care about the people who they surround themselves with? They want to be talking to leaders, they want to be connected in a positive community. They want, they want what you guys have here. Being part of this community. Did you know that and how vital that is? So please hear me here. I'm letting you know that this is really important. Your energy must be a absolute high level of priority for you because you'll be unhappy if you have poor energy. I know that's a no brainer, but very few people set up a daily routine that protects their energy. They don't take breaks, they don't work out, they don't drink enough water, they choose bad food, they don't go to bed early enough. They don't give their self a mental break from all the craziness by turning off the phone for a second. Like simple things that they don't do to protect their energy. But you are the guardian at the gate of your own energy. You are the creator of your energy on an ongoing basis. And so I am here to tell you that one of your primary aspirations in life is, is how you're being, your sense of being and your energy around that is everything. So set goals around energy and be aware of where traditionally you sucked at that. Because listen, every one of Us can have low levels of energy. Isn't it true? And we have things that we do that create bad energy. You need to be aware of those things. Sometimes you create bad energy because you're gossip. Sometimes you create bad energy because you get pulled into drama. Sometimes you create bad energy by your reading habits, reading all the negative things out there. Sometimes you create bad energy by just refusing to get up and go to the gym, even though you know you need to like these simple things. But also, let's talk about the other part of being goals. We want to be proud of who we are becoming. What would you have to do to realign with who you really are? Again, what task would you have to stop doing? What things should you start doing that would help you realign with your real passions, your real heart, your real soul? You know, I think about 2019. One of the things I did is I got away with a part of my being what I identify my being with. And what I identify with is I'm a writer, and I love being a writer, as an example. And I didn't Write enough in 2019. And even though I've done so many amazing things, I didn't feel fulfilled as much as I could because I wasn't aligned with that part of me that's so passionate about my art of writing. So in 2020, I got to realign with that. Oh, yeah. I got to realign with my art. I love doing that thing. I haven't been doing enough of that. Does that make sense? So what would make you proud in 2020? What would you have to become to be more proud of yourself? See, a lot of people lack self esteem, and they lack self esteem because they lack alignment with living in integrity, with their authentic selves. They're not being who they really know they are, or they're not being who they know they could become. And so instead, they're being a cog in somebody else's machine. They're marching under somebody else's banner. They're being somebody else, and they're just going through the motions of reaction versus intentionally living as who they know they can be. Your job is to intentionally live as who you know you can be on a consistent basis. I know you know this, but I'm telling you, you've got to architect that into your 2020. You've got to architect how you can be the best of who you are. You want to finish each year proud of who you are. And if you can get there, I promise it will change things. That's the being Goals. Okay, I said there's three, right? The number one primary aspiration is being goals. Our energy and congruence with the best of who we know we can be. Number two is our relating goals. Relating goals. These are our primary aspirations of the relationships we have with the world because, right, so much of our joy, so much of our connection as a human species is with each other, right? We all want that feeling of connection and caring with other people. That's what our primary relating goals are, is we want a deeper connection, intimacy, vibrancy, relationship with other people. And we want to care for and feel cared for at deep levels. So all of our relating goals come back to our orientation and depth of relationship with others. So think about your relationships. Are you really in those relationships or you got one foot out? You know, so many people are half hearted leaders, half interested lovers, half attentive parents that they never go in with full presence and full commitment into a relationship. And so they don't ever feel happy. They don't have deep meaningful relationships. And so what do they do? They blame everybody. Oh, well, you know, bumble and match.com and all these other different websites, they don't do a good enough job of connecting with good people. Or Facebook doesn't connect with people. We blame technology or we blame, oh, these people are keeping me down, or this person makes me feel like this. And we do everything we can. In no other area is more complaint and more blame thrown than in our relationships. Isn't it true? I mean, think about someone complaining. They're almost always complaining about relationships, their relationships with others or their relationship to the world or relationships that other people have. And so your job is to ask questions, to say, how can I deepen my connection with other people? This year I want you to make a whole list of all the most important people in your life. I mean literally the most important people in your life. I would encourage you to write them all down, the most important people in your life. And I'd even encourage you order them. And people go, oh my God, don't order people, Brendan. You can't order people like tasks. I'm like, oh no, you can. Because maybe your husband or your wife is more important than your neighbor or somebody else who is also vying for your time. You haven't had a date night in six months, but you keep giving your team time on phone to talk about tasks that they should have done before, right? We gotta be careful about how we spend our time as we'll talk about. I really believe that the two things we want in our relationship. Goals are deeper connection and more caring for deeper connection. That's us. We gotta be proactive there. We gotta seek out other people. We gotta find out what they need. We've got to have more intimate, real connection. Time with people away from our phones, Date nights, friendship time at lunch. Like adventures together on caring. We have a deep human desire to be cared for. Right. Children need to be cared for, or it alters their future path in very negative consequences. Right. That takes a lot of personal development or therapy to overcome. So I want you to really think about, how can you ask for more caring this year if you don't feel cared for in your life? Trust me, you could do all the health goals, go to the gym, do lots of other things. But if you don't feel cared for in your life, whoo. Almost everything can be in place, but you can end up feeling like Scrooge. People don't care. I don't care for them. I mean, think about Scrooge this time of year. What is Scrooge's fundamental lack of aspiration? Where is he failing the most? Connection with other people and caring from other people. The entire story that we read from Charles Dickens is that here's this character who lacks relationships. Is it true? And so relationships are a primary aspiration that we need to have. And sometimes we need a hard sort of reset. Scrooge needed it by Visitations of Death as an example. You've got to say, how can I deepen my connections? But also, how can I ask for more caring if you don't feel like your husband cares enough for you, ask. Have a real conversation. Don't lay hints out about the table. No, sit down and say, listen, I'm not feeling cared for. I'm not feeling as connected to you as I want to be. I want us to have a deep, caring, vibrant, intimate life, and we don't have that. Think about the leaders that you lead. Think about those who you know. Like, maybe you have a leader who's, like, you're not getting enough attention from. Or if you're a leader, obviously, you should be going, oh, how can I deepen my relationship and the connection I have with those that I lead? Like, what specifically am I gonna do all year long? Because these aspirations don't go away. It's important to you, too, to be thinking about this as leaders. Cause guess what? With those that you lead, you got to know who they're trying to become, and you got to know about the quality relationships they want in their life before you tell them to go do stuff. Third big idea of primary aspirations is the idea that we all have creating or creation goals. Creation goals. So this also has two areas. Creation goals. One of the primary ones for creation goals is we all want to create things and do things that we find are meaningful because they're contributing. So a creation goal is contribution. Like how can I give or do something that makes a difference? That desire you have to make a difference. That is a creation goal. I want to create a difference here, right? Your volunteerism is a creation goal. I want to create, you know, magic here. I want to create a connection here. I want to create something here that makes a difference. Like we all want to contribute something. How do we contribute something? We need to create that moment or create that thing, or create that process or create that relationship, right? So it's a creation goal. It's like I need to do something that makes the difference. The other aspect of creation is I want to be creating things that I'm passionate about that I just find personally meaningful. You know, I want to create things like art that I love to create. I want to create, you know, adventures. I want to create moments. I want to create things that maybe they don't give, you know, to the world, they don't make the world a better place, but they're near and dear to my heart. I call these craft goals, right? The craft, the things that we like to do that maybe just you love to like knit, you know, knit little hand wash things or. Obviously I know nothing about knitting, but you want to knit some things. A blanket, you want to knit, you know, a hand towel. You want to knit something for your family, for somebody that can be. For contribution reasons, right? You want to give something to them or it might just be your art. You just do it for yourself. Like there's a lot of things that I write, it's just for me, it's not something. There are some things I write to make a difference. I'm going to, you know, release this book and I'm going to put this book in the world. Or I'm going to create the high performance planner. I'm going to put that into the world. That's going to make my difference. Great. But there's also another part of me that just writes for myself. I'm creating words on a page that I find are passionate. It's my craft. There's no reason for it per se, but it's in creating that that makes me feel fulfilled. So let's talk about a few of these Ideas real fast. I know some of you say, no, no, but, Brendan, I also want to, you know, create for my family abundance. You know, one of my big goals is become wealthier in the career that you're in. I want to be more wealthy in my career. Brendan, where does that fit in? Well, guess what? That's the experience you're trying to create. Abundance or wealth is a creation goals. I'm trying to create what? Abundance. I'm trying to create what wealth. I'm trying to create what security you're manifesting and creating through your own efforts. That thing. That's a creation goal. That's a creative, creative goal. I want to create abundance. I want to create wealth. Now, we all have different ways of achieving that or doing that maybe, but at the end of the day, that's a creation type goal. Does that make sense? So for those who are like, well, Brendan, I have these travel goals. Where would that fit that? Also live under creation. You want to create an experience. That's why you're traveling. See, a lot of people don't realize, they think they want all these things, but what they really want always falls under being goals, relating goals, or creation goals. Now, some people say, well, but, well, Brennan, I just want to. I want to. I want to, you know, I have real goals here to, you know, lose some weight. That's your vibrancy. That's how you feel. That's the goals of being. That's how you are in the world, right? Well, Brendan, I just want to make more wealth. Great. That's creation goals. You're trying to create an experience and security for your family. Brendan, I just want to, you know, feel loved again. That's relating goals. So all those can be centered around those three things. So what I do each year is I just write being, relating and creation goals or creating goals. And I just write, I brainstorm under each of those three things, and I'll brainstorm a full list under each of those things, and the next day I'll come back and I'll do it again to see if there's anything to add. And I literally do that. Basically, for me, from Christmas to New Year's, I'm just iterating through those lists, and then I start prioritizing those lists, then I start breaking those lists down into projects. Then I start breaking those projects down into dates and deadlines. Does that make sense? So why is this important? Because I really believe you just can't be setting random goals. Because, listen, there's a difference between, like, strategic planning, your 2020 and just making a to do list. Does that make sense? A lot of people just like write a to do list, but that to do list is not aligned with their primary aspirations of life. And that's why they never do them. They have all these random notes that don't align to a narrative of who they're becoming, how they're relating with the world and what they're creating in this world. And once you understand that, wow, now I can align myself. And that's a game change right there. That's like a fundamental game change. If you're ready to take your life to a whole new level, make sure you grab my book, High Performance How Extraordinary People Become that Way. It's available on Amazon right now. And when you order your copy, you're really supporting my channel and the message. And you're also getting a book that will reveal to you 20 years of my research into what is it that helps people go to a new level of success in their life? What does it really take? What habits are proven to help you reach long term success in your career, your health, your personal life, your relationships? It's called High Performance Habits. How Extraordinary People Become that Way. It's available on Amazon right now.