Reduce Stress and Recharge Your Momentum

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Hey, my friends, it's Brandon Burchard and welcome to a special episode of the Brendon Show. Hey, I'm Brendon Burchard and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. With this episode, I've spent the last 20 years studying human behavior change and writing, coaching and training literally at the top levels on the topics of motivation, focus, productivity, confidence and more. My goal, inspired by my own personal journey, is to help you and my audience live love and matter, which means to feel more vibrant, more connected and and more fulfilled in every area of your life.

That's what we're doing today.

If you like today's episode, grab a screenshot and share it on Instagram. Just tag me Enonbruchard so I can see you and give you a shout out or a hello. And if you want to go to another level of personal development in your life this month, be sure to join me live every month in my coaching program. Just visit HPXCoaching to get signed up. I teach a brand new personal development session every single month, meaning it's like a personal development seminar for you. Live every single month on the first of the month and then after I teach that for about 75 minutes, then we do live breakouts where you get to meet new people, network with people, set your monthly goals and establish real accountability for your growth. Listen, you know that expert guidance and real consistency and an inspiring community is critical to your growth. So join me this month on the 1st. Just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com it's time to level up, my friend. It's time to take your year back. It's time to find that focus and that confidence and that vibrancy and that vibe. Again, go to hpxcoaching.com and and let me be your coach into fuller levels of high performance in every area of your life. Now, without further ado, let's jump in to today's episode.

A lot of people kind of getting sucked into the drama and the negativity of the world, whether it's politically or economically or just in their own social world. But I think also right now that's coupled with a challenge where people are feeling so overwhelmed. You know, they're feeling like there's so many opportunities to chase, so many courses to take, so many new initiatives they want to try, so many new products they want to create, so many new people they want to hire or fire. And so they're in this challenge of just dealing with it all. And sometimes when you're there, you find yourself doing one of two things. Either you're going through the day as a complete stress ball, or you're going through the day and just going through the motions. And in either of those two places, that's where I usually hear this concern. Well, Brendan, you know, I've lost my focus. And when we start talking about it, what they really mean is they lost their drive, or they say, well, Brendan, I've lost my enthusiasm. When what they really mean is they just haven't had any time to get enthused about something. They haven't spent some time just ruminating and thinking about the things that fire them up. You know, it's the same thing in a relationship. If you're in love with somebody and, you know, if you never really think about how they're feeling or think about how great your relationship is together, you can kind of lose touch with that relationship, lose touch with that person, and most importantly, lose connection there. Well, the same thing goes for life. If we're not being attentive to our life, if we're not paying attention to how it feels and how it goes and what we want to put into it, we can quickly lose connection. And so what I want to do is talk about this bigger conversation about how to get that back. That's going to be the focus today. How do you get back that vibrancy and that connection when you've lost it because either you're overwhelmed and stressed, or you're just so busy you're kind of going through the motions. And even going through the motions in a positive way. Let's say if you're just flowing through your days all the day, if it gets too easy for you, then you lose a little bit of the edge and a little bit of that excitement, a little bit of that drive, and lots of people are there. And what I'd like to do to help you come back to it is talk about how this simple framework might help you get that momentum, that focus, that enthusiasm all back from one thing. First, we're going to start with congruence. Congruence is that psychological need we have to live in alignment with who we think we are. Okay? That's congruence. It means if I think I'm a good person, but I don't act like a good person, then I'm gonna have this, like, dissonance inside. I'm gonna be frustrated with myself, upset with myself, stressed with myself, disconnected from myself. And ultimately, some bad things happen from There, okay, That's called congruence. We all want to live with in congruence, with who we think we are, how we want to interact with other people, and what we want to give to the world. So just let's baseline on those real fast for you. Are you living the best of who you feel like you are right now? And if you're not, that's not a place for you to feel sad or upset about necessarily. It's just to acknowledge it and to accept it and then take some personal accountability and say, okay, what would I have to do? What thinking patterns or new behaviors would I have to start to start tapping into the best of who I am again? Because when people often say they've lost focus or enthusiasm or vibrancy, what they're really saying is, I don't feel like me anymore. I don't know why. And sometimes it's just because they haven't been focusing on themselves, not in a narcissistic way, but really focusing on themselves. To ask that question of, like, who do I want to be each day? People are always surprised about how much time I spend on this. I promised one of our bullets today that we'll cover is some of my practices that keep me high performing. One of them is intention. In this area each day, I'm consistently wondering, why, who I am, and who do I want to be? We just finished a study we were trying to figure out, do high performers think differently about the future than other people? And if they do, what categories of thinking or topics, if you will, are they paying attention to the future Four is high performers think more. They literally think more in terms of time, because we ask the question, how much time do you spend on thinking about all these different questions? And one of the things that we found they think about the future four, four things. They think about self, and they don't think about self like, what are my strengths and my weaknesses and what am I good at today? They think about self into the future. They're thinking about, this is my ideal self. How do I move towards that? And they actually think about that more than, let's say, underperformers. And we can measure that by time. So it's not a generic thing. I'm telling you. It ends up being, on average, in these future four that we'll talk about. High performers spend over an hour a week more thinking about these four things than underperformers do. That's pretty significant. Okay, so let me give you an example. The future four is self. Thinking about the self Ideal projection in the future. This means think about your future again. Where does enthusiasm come from? Enthusiasm comes from your orientation to the future, right? I'm enthusiastic about this next moment. You can be enthusiastic about now. No, you're not enthusiastic about now. You're appreciative about what's now. You're joyous about what's now. But enthusiasm has a forward lean to the future, right? So I want you to be thinking about if you feel like you've lost some enthusiasm, maybe you've just lost connection that you used to have with looking into the future. You know, it's why a lot of people get so excited around New Year's, right? They're so thrilled to be thinking about, oh, where am I going? What's my life going to be? And there's a lot of optimism that happens. It's not just because of Christmas just happened. Maybe it is. There's a lot of giving spirit there. But you head in that New Year's and there's an optimism every year. Look, look at the stock market every year. Goes up in January every year. So what I want you to do is think about the future again. Just sit there. And I don't mean once, you know, a quarter. I mean daily. What do you want your life to.

Be like in the future?

And a lot of people don't want to do that because it brings that dissonance. They go, oh, well, I guess my life's never going to be like that. And I know you don't think that because you probably wouldn't be in this audience if you did. But sometimes, as we get so busy, we stop visiting that. I recently worked with a client who by every measure, is an incredibly successful person. Amazing family, on covers of magazines, extraordinarily wealthy, doesn't have to worry about money or reputation the rest of their life. Just, they got it. They're good, right? But not happy. Felt like they were going through the motions. And one of the reasons we got in, sometimes when you're a high performer, when you're so good, you can go through the motions. And what ends up happening is you're so good, you're going through the motions. Nobody else kind of sees it, but inside you start feeling bored or restless or just detached, but no one sees it. You're still crushing it, but no one can see it because you know you're good and you really don't even recognize it. And often when you're really good, you stop thinking about the future because you're just, like, handling stuff. You got Right? You're good. So you've piled onto the plate, and the plate is so full, all of your focus and effort ends up just doing stuff. And you're a SWAT team every day.

You're amazing, right?

You're kicking some butt every single day. You're just crushing it. But you lose your enthusiasm because you took off that hopeful lean towards who you could still become. One of the highest dangers for a higher performer is to think, I'm good, I'm complete. Everything's good. You are a whole person, and you are a good person. But none of us is done in our development. So you have to be asking yourself, okay, am I giving myself any time to dream of the person I could become? That's what I want you to do. Because sometimes when you have that level of enthusiasm or the connection there, you will focus more, you will feel more vibrant, you'll feel a pull of hope, a pull of idealism, a pull of growth again. So if you have any sense about you that's lost, that it's really an issue of congruence. The flip side of congruence is sometimes we can live to a level that's below us because we're living congruently with our negative thinking. We're living congruently with what they told us we're supposed to be and do. We're living congruently with low expectations. That's why you can't let your social environment ever dictate how you're supposed to live or be or what you chase after. And that will always happen. Your environment will always take over unless you discipline yourself to visualize who you want to become. You have to remember that the social environment will always take over. It's like a garden. You know that garden? You can have the greatest things all planted around, but if you leave it alone for a month, the stuff starts coming in after a couple months, it's overgrowth, it's weeds. And that garden that could be something beautiful and bountiful ends up being taken over. It's the same thing in our social life, right? If you are not disciplined with your own mind about who you want to become, suddenly you start living your spouse's life, you start living your parents life. You start doing what all your other peers are doing and not what you really desire to do. But you're not even sure what you desire to do because you won't take a second to think about it. So my urging to you is to focus on this area again and do it with a future lean. Okay? I'm going to decide who I want to become, and I'm going to start living in congruence with that more than I have. And here's my morning simple daily practice. I shouldn't call it my morning practice. I would call it more of my important moment practice. Right. Important moment practice. I'm always asking in important moments, who do I want to be in what I'm about to do? And it requires me to get that performance level up. So you have to find your moment, remind yourself of who you want to be, and then show up. It's not easy, but it has to become a practice. My trigger is moments that matter. Right. Whatever I define that is if I'm gonna see my wife after a really long day, I'm gonna know that's a moment that matters when I meet her with what kind of energy. So no matter where I'm at, I'm gonna ask, okay, who do I want to be now? And that's gonna help me be better. That's all. Conversations around congruence.

Hey, it's Brendan, and I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendan, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life? And the truth is, I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things.

A lot of stress comes along.

And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sharp. You need to be mentally prepared. You need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day, you have to be on. And sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call Nootropics, which are, you know, basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPX Optimized, and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com you'll find HPX Optimize for your mental focus and energy.

There's.

You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created, this 100% organic and vegan. And you'll find my Essentials, which is my Daily multi that I take, that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX wellness.com right now. HPX wellness.

Now if we can take congruence and we can add on top of it a couple things, we'll start really building some momentum here, right? And this is really important. This one is one of the baseline human drives, but one of the most important. Connection, right, Connection. I mean basically in three ways. I mean connection with self, right? So I can feel and sense myself. Self awareness is a type of connection, connection with another person that I'm with and then connection with what I'm doing. Okay? Three different ways. Self awareness, social awareness, and what you might call task awareness. Okay? When people talk about being mindful, that's a general way to talk about connection, right? And what I want you to do in this area is take a good look at how connected have you felt? I mean, how connected have you really felt to your wife, to your husband, to the kids, to the work, to your craft, to your art? It's not easy when you are a high performer because you take on a lot of new things and it's easy now. You piecemeal connection out, right? You kind of connect with your partner once in a while. You kind of connect with the work once in a while. You kind of connect with the team once in a while. But you're so spread thin that overall not only do you feel dissipated, you don't feel connected. You know, it's like something, you feel like something's missing. Even though you're giving so friggin much everywhere, you lose that connection. And it's easy for everyone to. I do it too. And there's times that I've sat down.

Well, I gotta work on the book now.

And I'll be just typing along and I'll be like, you know what, this is probably not the energy I need to put in this book. Let me get up because my focus is bad, my enthusiasm is bad, my energy is bad and it happens for everyone because I've got so much other things and I'm okay, I don't want to connect with my book in this way. I'm going to get up, I'm going to go walk around the block and I'm going to focus just as I walk around the block on deep breathing. That's all I'm going to do. Every step is a deep breath all around the block. That's all I'm going to do. I'm going to come back into my house, I'm going to. I'm going to drink some water, I'm going to do a couple of vinyasa flows, maybe 5, 10 vinyasa flows, sit back down, close my eyes, set an intention for the work, open and go. And so what I want to do is break that down for you first. I was self aware to recognize, not feeling a connection to this work. Right now I'm not feeling this connection. And what a lot of people do is they go, well, I guess I don't feel it. Today I quit. Let's go to the bar. Books are fun. Bars are better.

Here we go, right?

You can totally do that. Or you could say, you know what? The creative divine energy didn't hit me today. I guess it's not meant to be for me to work on my book, right? You could do that too. Or you could also just power through it, but not really bring your A game. What you have to do is have the self awareness to stop, stop and interrupt yourself. So first know when you are disconnected, where in your life are you feeling disconnected? And in that moment, stop yourself. And immediately, as fast as possible, remove yourself from the situation as fast as you can, right? Remove yourself from that situation, whatever it is. I do networking events a lot, right? I'll be out with a bunch of people and we'll be networking and talking with people. Sometimes I'll be in a conversation and I'm just not feeling connected to them. I'm not feeling like I'm bringing my A game. I'm just, I can tell, you know what I mean? I can tell. And I'll remove myself. I'll be like, hey guys, you need another drink or something? And they'll say whatever they say and say, okay. And I'll go, literally, I'll go find a room that's empty or I'll go find the bathroom where there's a stall and I can just get myself centered and then return to the situation. Now of course you can't always do that. That's what people say. Well, you can't always do that. I'm like, hey look, I'm not looking for an always. I'm like, get up to bat more often. It doesn't have to be every time, but more often remove yourself from where you're not feeling connected and find that connection for me and for everything that we read in every modern emerging parts of psychology and neurobiology, we know without any question, if you activate your body, you'll activate your brain. If you activate your body, you activate positive emotion. If you activate your body, you'll interact better with people. If you activate your body, you'll contribute better art. So activate your body. So go away, whatever you have to do. Stretch, move, breathe, walk, jump, Jack. I don't care what it has to be, but reactivate the body. Then return to the thing, close your eyes, set an intention and go. Now. If this all sounds way over complicated, let me just share it. That just becomes your life. Your life becomes you. Conditioning yourself to be your best in the moments that matter. So you need to start finding the small moments to get higher connection. If that means that small moment is you come home from work and before you go in to talk to your family, you get yourself in a good place. Before you flip on the video camera, before you sit down to do the work, you gotta learn to set those intentions and get in that space so that when the next time it happens where you can't go. I got to have a four hour sit down with one of the US presidents, George W. Bush at the time. And it was basically going to be me, him and a couple people. And I was just kind of in a funky place. Not from just a political standpoint, but just like it was an awkward time and you know, we had to go through so much security to get there.

There's a lot going on, a lot.

To be frazzled by. And I just remember thinking, I got just this moment of time here. I don't have the choice not to show up. And having tried to show up so many times in my life, which showing up, you know what that means? Connection. That's all it means. When they talk about flow, all that means is it's a different, it's a higher level of connection. Right. When you think about love, that's just a higher level of connection. But most people just like congruence where they let their baseline be going through the motions. Most people with their connection, they're letting the social environment dictate their energy. So their energy around their spouse is the energy their spouse is bringing in their connection with what the work is. Whatever just happens, they feel that day. And I'm saying use your conscious mind to override that, use your body to override that, to deliver the best of what you have. Because life is short. You know, you show up crappy to your spouse for a couple weeks or months in a row and then something happens to them or something happens to you, you regret those crappy weeks. And I can share that. Having Been with a lot of people in their last moments of life. They know their track record. You know what I mean? You know your track record. How have you been showing up to your work? How have you been showing up with the people that you love? How you been showing up for yourself? Your connection matters to you in the end. So I want you to focus now on asking this question. How can I connect more in this next moment with what I'm feeling and sensing to get more body awareness, but what they're feeling, what I want to contribute here to those people, to what I'm doing with the work? If we can get your connection up, everything shifts. And I know some of this is basic, but this is what you guys have been asking too, because think about it. I lost focus. No, you lost connection. You lost connection with either your. Why. You lost connection with your process. You lost connection with your energy that would give you the focus. You lost connection with the outcome of what that thing could be. You didn't lose focus because you know what? Your focus went to something else. Focus went to the phone, to the games, to the tv. Focus went to the drama around the office. You didn't lose. The focus is still there. It just got shifted away from what matters.

All right. Hey, my friend. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you're ready to go to another level, don't Forget, go to HPXCoaching. Let me be your coach. Let me spend the first of each month with you, giving you a personal development seminar. Let me help you get unstuck, break through your emotional blocks, find your real.

Clarity, your real passion, your real purpose.

And implement the habits that you know you need to implement. Change your life by getting a coach, getting some expert guidance. Listen, you got as far as you could get.

You're here.

You've achieved so much in your life.

You.

But to go to another level requires another level of mindset, another level of discipline, another level of direction and community and consistency. And that is what my coaching program is all about. So go to hpxcoaching.com and listen, if you're ready to go to a whole other level, I'm hiring. Please go to brendon.com hiring for our open roles. I got a big secret project that we are rolling out and you'll only find information that@brendon.com hiring we've got, I don't know, 10 or 12 open positions there. If you ever wanted to work with me, if you wanted me to be your leader, you wanted me to literally employ you and help you grow in your career and do what we do, serving this mission of helping people around the world achieve their dreams faster, helping them improve their lives. We live every day as a team to do that. And we are currently hiring. We're building out a new product and we need some people to help us do that. Brendan.com hiring if you don't know how to spell my name, don't even think about it. We're looking for people who are pros. If you're interested in internship with me, don't go there. We're not hiring interns. If you're interested in starting your career with me, don't go there. We are an a team here. We've got people who are really experienced. So if you're new to personal development or you're new to marketing, you're probably not going to be the person we're looking for. We're looking for people with at least three years of professional experience in a lot of different roles because we take.

This role very seriously.

We get to change lives and millions of them every single day. That's the work. So we're looking for real pros, top of your game, ready to come on to an organization that reaches just as many people in the world as any other personal development influencer or trainer on the planet. And we'd be excited to have you.

Join us in a big new initiative.

We'Re rolling out for the beginning of the year. I can't even tell you any more about that. Go to brendon.com hiring if you'd like to work with us and if you just want to go to another level and have me as your coach, not your Boss. Go to hpxcoaching.com so I can give you a brand new personal development session this month to help you set your goals, get on track, get unstuck and achieve your ultimate difference. Go to HBXCoaching.com for that. Thanks again for listening to the Brendon show. You all mean so much to me. I have so much coming out in the next couple months for you here that's gonna be unique and special and I know you're gonna love it. So keep your head up. I know it's been a hard year. Please remember, as always, you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you.