Share Your Truth and Ambitions

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Hey, my friend. It's Brendon Burchard. And welcome to a special episode of the Brendan Show. In this episode, I'm going to play for you a section of the audiobook of my book, High Performance habits. How Extraordinary People Become that way. And I'm gonna play for you a practice that will ultimately help you become a higher performer in anything that you're doing, whether it's related to your health or your career or other positive life outcomes. This is a practice that will really serve you. And I'm gonna be releasing a series of these so that you can get a taste of the book. But also whether you have the book or you don't have the book, you can put these practices into your life to develop the habits that matter the most. That's ultimately what my book is about. Has become so well known for high performance habits is the result and the findings of the world's largest study of high performers ever done.

Over 190 countries reporting in over 2.

Million data points, an unbelievable amount of research over a three year period with me and academic research teams to find the strongest correlations we could of which habits led to long term success. And they were also healthy, they were also happy, they also had positive relationships. And that's the magic of it.

All right?

High performance isn't just about getting ahead for achievement's sake. It's ultimately about a distinction of a new way to strive so that you do reach the next level of success. But this time you do it more sane, healthier, more happier and you enjoy the process. You can succeed long term. That is what this book is about. It tells you exactly which habits make the most difference. And we break it down, each habit into three different practices. Now, this audio excerpt today for you is one of those practices. And please just listen, follow the prompts, put this either mindset or philosophy or tactic into your life and you'll see a total change. So I'll be releasing a series of these for you in upcoming weeks and months right here on the Brendon show. And tell you what, if you like this, you're welcome to go get the audiobook on Audible or anywhere else where you download your audiobooks and you know, it's whatever it is, 12, 16 bucks for that. Or if you want the deluxe audiobook version which comes with additional training, additional interviews and an online course along with it. If you want that, you can, you can actually get it for free when you order a hard copy book from us@brendon.com habits so just listen to the practice. If it resonates with you, put it into play. If not, no worries. Keep listening to the Brendon show. You'll find something that's useful, but if it really resonates, go to brendon.com habits and get your copy of the book from that site so that we can give you the free deluxe audio edition of the audiobook.

I think you're really going to enjoy.

This and as always, I want to thank you all for supporting my message. I deeply believe that as each of us develops deeper motivation and starts practicing these high performance habits, not only can.

We change our life, not only can.

We reach longer term success and be less stressed and crazy and enjoy the process this time, but we can change the world. The right habits changes your world ultimately changes other people's world. Without further ado, please enjoy this excerpt of high performance how extraordinary people become that way.

Practice 2 share your truth and ambitions. As far as I can judge, not much good can be done without disturbing something or somebody. Edward Blake in the Motivation Manifesto, I argued that it is the main motivation of humankind to be free to express our true selves and pursue our dreams without restriction to experience what may be called personal freedom. Our spirits soar when we feel unencumbered by fear or the weight of conformity. When we live our truth, the expressing who we really are, how we really feel, what we really desire and dream of, then we are authentic. We are free. This requires courage. Surely no one wants to live a constrained, conforming life. But since Manifesto's release, I've received thousands of letters and comments about just how hard personal freedom is to achieve. Showing the world who you are authentically and unapologetically brings a great deal of risk. People often talk about that, how they want to be real, but doing so invites so much judgment or rejection. They're worried that if people could see who they really are, the show would be over. They wouldn't measure up to others expectations. But I say the only time you should try to measure up to someone else's idea of who you are or what you're capable of is when they that person is a role model cheering you on. If someone believes in you and sees greatness in you, sure, try to live up to that. But for anyone who doubts or diminishes you, forget about it. Don't bother trying to please them. Live a life that is yours. Don't seek the approval of the doubters. You'll find no lasting joy in seeking acknowledgment from others. If it comes, it'll never be enough. So the only path left is to express your own truth and pursue your own dreams. When you do this, you'll meet with inevitable criticism. Anticipate that as just one more part of the struggle. Judgment will always be there, just as there will always be cloudy days. Don't let their criticisms sway you from your convictions. If you believe in your dream, stay on your path. You need no permission beyond that tingling hope in your soul. After talking with so many high performers, I have to confess that I hope you meet with judgment and friction. It's a sign you're on your own path and aiming for great things indeed. If no one has looked at you sideways lately, or better yet, said, who do you think you are?

What are you crazy?

Are you sure that's a good idea? Then maybe you're not living boldly enough. I've shared this sort of coaching before. Once I got a message from a fan who countered, but Brendan, I'm not proud of who I am, and so I don't want to put myself out there. I'm embarrassed at who I am. My truth isn't something I want to share. I could only reply, my friend, if you're ashamed of the truth, then you've yet to find the truth. Minimizing Ourselves Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one will go. T.S. eliot One thing I didn't expect from readers of the Motivation manifesto was a different kind of fear in sharing their truth. Many people wrote in and said they weren't worried that others would judge them as insufficient. They were worried that by being their best, they would make others feel insufficient. They were fearful of expressing their true ambitions, joy and powers because the people around them could feel bad about themselves. They felt they had to minimize their dreams, keep their big ideas bottled up, dumb themselves down, tone it down, look down, all so others could feel good about themselves. When I receive concerns like this, I'll often send my readers a video I shot from my phone where I say, do not dare play small, my friend. Do not feel guilt because you have high aims. Those dreams were seeded in your soul for a reason, and it is your duty to honor them. Do not hold back in life just to comfort or placate those around you. Holding back is not humility, it's lying. If the people in your life do not know your true thoughts, feelings, needs and dreams, do not blame them. It is your lack of voice or vulnerability or power, not their lack of understanding or ambition that is building the barricade to your potential. Share more and you'll have real relationships that can support you, energize you, lift you, even if they don't support you or believe in you. At least you lived your your life. At least you put it all on the table. At least you honored the hopes of your heart and the calling of your soul. In your full expression lies your freedom, my friend. Your next level of performance begins at your next level of truth. I know you're getting a lot of coaching in this chapter, but this is crucial. Readers still write me years later saying my message helped them. I want you to keep this audiobook handy so you can listen to it again the next time. Concern for someone else's feelings tempts you to hold back your own dreams. So please stay with me. I have no doubt that accessing the next level of courage in your life requires a new degree of openness and honesty about who you are, what you want, and what you're really capable of and and ready to do. All that stands in your way is that fearful part of you that feels like minimizing yourself so that you don't make others feel bad. But don't for one minute think that's humility, that's lying about your real ambitions, that's apologizing for the gifts that God, the universe, fortune, or hard work. Take your pick. Blessed you with, and it's insidious unless you choose to let it go. That fear will forever prevent you from feeling truly authentic and fulfilled and living out your real potential. It will drive you to lower your sights and miss out on excellence. And for what, exactly? You may think people will be threatened by my drive and desire. They might not like my ambitions. They might make fun of me. So I'd best keep quiet. It's better to downgrade my ambition or work ethic anyway. I've heard every version and permutation of that misbegotten idea, but I want to say it again and etch it on your mind. This kind of thinking is not humility, my friend. It's fear. It's lying. It's suppressing it's adolescent concern and it will destroy any real aliveness and authenticity in your relationships. I know it may feel better in the short term to minimize yourself so someone else can feel good about themselves. And but consider this. No one wants to be in connection with a fake person. How would you feel if you were in a relationship with someone for five years and out of nowhere they said to you, you don't know the real me. I haven't been honest with you. All this time I've been holding back my real dreams from you because I was scared of you or I thought you were too small minded to handle it. Would that bring you close to them or would it upset you? How would you respond to that person? You'd probably be astounded and hurt. So why would you do that to someone else by holding back? Look, if you're gulping back your real thoughts and dreams just to fit in or make others feel better, then you can't blame them or anyone else because it's you choking yourself. And while you're at it, you're squeezing the life out of your relationships. I've seen a lot of people from all over the world martyr themselves under the guise of poorly conceived humility. But there's nothing humble in saying I'd better not shine because the timid souls around me couldn't handle it.

Please.

I've worked with enough people to know your likely gut reaction to this. You'll think, well, Brendan, you don't understand my husband, my community, my culture, my mom, my coach, my fans, my brand, my insert excuse here and right now. It's my job to call you out on this. No one can quiet you without your permission. No one can minimize your self image but you. And no one can open you up and release your full power but you. You can always blame them for your failure to be real and vulnerable. Or you can choose this very day to start speaking up and living in full, even though some may not like it? Will some people make fun of you? Might a person you love doubt you or leave you? Could your teammates call you crazy and marginalize you? Can your neighbors or fans turn on you for wanting more than you deserve? To each of these questions, yes. But which is nobler? Falling dutifully in line with what everyone wants or speaking up for what's right for you? Ultimately, you must ask which your life is about, fear or freedom. One choice is the cage, the other that's courage. My passion on this topic is boundless because I've been in the trenches with enough people to know that at some point someone I or one of your mentors or a whisper from deep inside you will get through and get you to share yourself with the world. You don't have to listen to all this from some author you've probably never even met. But if I've somehow held your attention this far, then you may as well bear with me a little longer. You must beware. Holding back will weigh on your mind and your life with stresses you may not see for a long time. It will cheat the people around you from ever discovering your true beauty or abilities. Worse, it will prevent the right people from coming into your life. I see this all the time. A successful person fails to achieve the next level of success because they chose to strive in silence. They don't want to share or speak up. They're trying to be appropriate, realistic, level headed. They're trying to make others happy or comfortable. And so they have these brilliant ideas. And not only do they not share them, they make the most lethal mistake of all. They don't ask for help. If you don't ask for help, the right people can't come into your life. So if the universe isn't giving you what you want, perhaps it's because amid all your distractions and silence, the universe just doesn't know what you're asking for. Recently I worked with an Olympic gold medalist. I asked when did the biggest gains come in your career? She said, when I finally started voicing my dreams to do this, suddenly people started pointing me in the right direction. They told me what to do, what skills I would need, who I should talk to, what equipment the pros used, who the best coaches were. I learned that if you open your mouth and shout from the rooftops what you want to do with your life, sure some village idiots will show up and shout back all the reasons why you can't.

But.

But all the village leaders come over and want to help. Life's great that way. The people who are in your life for the right reasons will listen to your truth. They'll applaud your ambition. They'll be happy to meet the person behind the face. They'll thank you for sharing, for being real, for trusting them. Trust others with your truth and the golden values of real friendship and love reveal themselves like lost treasures. To find even more courage. Remind yourself that you owe it to those who have supported you in the past. Stay strong in recognition of the strength they have given you as a gift to all those who have been good to you. Don't complain, act, don't criticize. Cheerlead. Don't conform. Live your truth. Don't be selfish. Serve, don't take the easy path. Strive for growth and an extraordinary life. And when things are falling apart, stay true to the best of who you are. For those are the moments when you're forging who you will become. The Simple Conversations the most important thing in connecting authentically with others is to share your true desires with them. They don't have to approve or help or even brainstorm with you. This isn't about them. They this is about you having the courage to open to others, just as the universe remains open to you. Try it. Each day, reveal to others a little bit more of what you're thinking, feeling, dreaming of, even if you don't get the immediate support of the humans in front of you. Who knows? Perhaps a distant force is unlocked and the necessary ripples in time and luck and destiny converge and deliver to your door a hint about the next step. A treasure map of sorts, unearthed by your own courage. This habit doesn't take shape by a single momentous conversation with everyone you know. You don't have to sit everyone you love down and tell them all the reasons you've been holding back from them and from life. You don't have to shoot a video explaining your entire life and philosophy. Instead, just make it a daily practice to be sharing your thoughts and goals and feelings with others every day. Share something with someone about what you really think and want in life. You could say, you know, honey, today I was thinking about starting X because I'd love to Y. For example, I was thinking about researching how to write a book because I think I have a story worth telling. I was thinking about starting to hit the gym every morning because I love to feel more vital and alive. I was thinking about starting to look for another job because I'd love to feel more passionate and appreciated. I was thinking about starting to cold call some new coaches because I'm ready to compete at a higher level. These are simple statements. It's a simple formula. What do you want to share? Whatever it is, share it. Then take bold action each day to bring it to reality. Performance prompts for practice number two of the Habit of Courage is on page 281 of High Performance Habits. The book or you can Download it at highperformancehabits.com Tools Performance prompts number one Something I really want to do that I haven't shared with enough people. Number two if I were going to be more me in my everyday life, I would start to Number three When I put myself out there and someone makes fun of me, I'm just going to Number four A major dream I'm going to start telling people about and asking for some help with is.

Okay, my friend. I hope you enjoyed that audio excerpt of my book High Performance Habits How Extraordinary People Become that Way Again.

If you really enjoyed that and you'd.

Like the deluxe audiobook version for free, go to brendon.com forward/habits. Get the book through that site and.

We'Ll go ahead and give you the.

Deluxe audiobook version of the entire book for free at no cost. As my thanks for ordering through our website.

I want to thank you as well.

For supporting my message. You know, we've really started this worldwide program, performance conversation. We've got dozens of companies and major organizations who have bought the book in bulk, who are sharing it with their teams and employers, employees who are sending their people through our assessments who are getting all the tools that we built around this book. We're changing the conversation about performance in major organizations and small businesses around the world. And if you'd like to support that, just pick up a copy of the book, get some amazing results, tell us your story and we'll try to get out there the best way that we can. It's an honor to serve each and every one of you. I began this journey to decoding what it really takes to become a high performer. Now, gosh, 20 years ago in my life. So having it all come together in these set of practices in high performance habits has been quite the journey. You know, the last 10 years of my life being a high performance coach and then this last three years of academic research to prove it all out, at least to find what the data suggests and leads us to in terms of the strongest correlations. I know you're going to love this book. So for those who already got it, thank you. Keep sharing the message because if you'll post on social media highperformancehabits of you listening to this episode or reading the book every single day and week. We are still out there giving away all expense paid trips, giving away swag t shirts, cups holders, free online courses. It's my students we're celebrating you. So just go post on social media, tell us what you thought of this episode and just again, use highperformancehabits and thebrendon show so that we know you listened to us on the Brendon show and we'll go ahead and try to find you and give you some free gifts. We can't do it for everybody but we're out there consistently doing it and I mean I've already given away, I don't know, 50 to $100,000 worth of stuff just this month already. So it's been pretty active and I thank you all. All of our students who've made this the best stellar all of our students who supported the message, all of our students who've committed to their continued education, their personal growth. I'm honored to be on that path with you. So thank you again for supporting the brendon show. Thank you for supporting high performance habits. I look forward to seeing you out on the road someday. Until then, remember, you can change your habits and change your life. If you're going to practice any new habits, practice the ones in high performance habits. And as always, go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly and make your difference today.