STRUGGLE is a STEPPING STONE: How to Turn FEAR into FULFILLMENT

Listen to your complaints. Our culture is dominated by complaint right now. I don't believe that. There's nothing to complain about. I just realize a lot of complaint isn't going to help us. Be the problem solver, the solution builder, be the leader. Be the person who takes us to another level. That's your job. And then that's the demarcation line. I'm no longer a complainer. I challenge myself to grow. It's like you can't even go back because you hear yourself complaining. You're like, no, no, no. That's the small part of me, the big part of me builds who's here with me? Right here. That's it. If. If you can feel the day again, bring the energy again, be the power plant. You've got to honor the struggle. Notice what it does not say. It says honor the struggle. It does not say bemoan the struggle. The world is getting killed by complaint, by people who are complaining about the things they already knew were going to be there. Do you know what drives me crazy? I'm from Montana. We got a lot of open roads there. I moved to California, down to San Francisco in my 20s. And I went down there and I saw a phenomenon I still don't understand. I met all these people, high achieving people, and. And they all complained about the commute. Now I worked with the people, we all commuted in and it was like an hour, hour and a half commute every day. And people get to work. Ugh, the commute every day. Oh, the commute. And you know what? Forgive me, but if you know you have to do something all the time, you gotta adjust your attitude to the something. Cause if the something don't change, you better change. You know what I'm saying? Ugh. I gotta make prospect calls. I gotta send the email. I gotta do the social media. I gotta do another post. I gotta call him back. He still hasn't closed the deal. It's part of the process. It's part of the process. What you got to do is you got to call your field. Go. Guess what I did. I made the calls. Guess what I did. I did the post. Guess what I did. I'm still going. That's what you got to do. You honor the struggle, the difficulties of life, the hardships of life. You honor those as challenges made to build your character, made to ensure that you earn it. Those challenges, those difficulties, those downsets. And trust me, I've had them all. From losing loved ones in my life, to breaking almost every bone in my body, to having the blessing of going up and down in businesses to having the worst of the worst things that people say on the Internet. When you have as many views as I got, all that stuff that people come at you for, I never complained about it. Of course that's going to come with the territory. It's a challenge of your character. Of course the kids are going to drive you absolutely insane. You didn't know that before you had children. You didn't have anyone tell you. You know, it's going to be hard to be a parent. No one said that to you. I can't deal with it getting around people who just complain about something that's so obvious. So instead, honor it. Take it as a position of honor. I come from a family where My dad did 20 years in the US Marine Corps. I'm a military brat. And let me tell you what, honor in our military is something to look up to because they have this great statement. All those who know the elite fields, they always say the same thing. You have to embrace the suck. When it sucks, embrace it. That's what this is. It's hard. Good. That's part of it. That hard is to make you better. Stop bemoaning it. Stop bemoaning it. Honor it. Your next level of success, that's what builds your character. But you don't get to it without the struggle. Stop bemoaning the struggle and celebrate. It's something you endure, you engage with, you persevere for successful people. They love the process of hardship. They don't complain about it. Listen to your complaints. Our culture is dominated by complaint right now. I don't believe that. There's nothing to complain about. I just realize a lot of complaint isn't going to help us. Be the problem solver, the solution builder. Be the leader. Be the person who takes us to another level. That's your job. And then that's the demarcation line. I'm no longer a complainer. I challenge myself to grow. It's like you can't even go back because you hear yourself complaining. You're like, no, no, no. That's the small part of me, the big part of me builds who's here with me, right here. That's it. Sometimes, though, you need to also find somebody to fight for on this journey because it's going to be hard. As you heard the previous speakers talk about, when I decided I wanted to go into this career, which is becoming a writer and a coach and a teacher, I left a good job. It was a good job. And went into the new space, a new opportunity, right? And here's the truth. When I first started, I didn't have any money. I had to move in with my then girlfriend. She ended up having to buy all the groceries and supporting me as I wanted to become a writer. Every day she would go to a real job. Don't you love that phrase, real job? She would go to the real job. And I would sit in our apartment at this little fold out table where the bed was like my extended desk. So I had this little laptop I was borrowing and on the desk were my notes, my vision boards, my research, my credit card bills, my bankruptcy papers. I was going down fast. I didn't know how to do it. So I got discouraged. Sometimes when you don't know what to do, you don't listen to your mentors and other leaders. Here, you don't know what to do, but you sit in silence and you don't know what to do versus asking for help. And that was me. So every day she would leave. I would pretend to write. That day I couldn't get inspired, so I'd go for a walk, pretending that the walk would inspire me to write. I would go to famous cafes in San Francisco where all the fancy writers had written, trying to rub butts on the seat with them. I don't know what I was trying to do. Why do people think that I'd order the fancy croissants? Because they'd all have green teas and croissants. And I was like, oh, I guess that's what writers do. And I'd sit there and fake it, going through the motions. And then I'd go home and I'd be working. She'd come home late from her commute and I would. How's it going? Great, honey. How'd you do? Got a lot done. Amazing. Months go by. I'm not breaking through. I'm faking it. I'm not doing the work. Why? I want you to listen to this. I grew up broke. I grew up with no expectations. Old Irish mining town, mostly alcoholic community. I didn't have anything. The problem is, as many of you know, sometimes when you don't have anything, you're real good at just surviving because you've done it. You saw your family, you just survived. I was just surviving. Hey. Someone was paying rent. I had something to do during the day, but I wasn't in it. Then one night, my girlfriend comes home. It's late. I pretend to start writing. She comes in, I have all this stuff on my bed. All the bills, all the research, all the vision boards. She comes in, kisses me on the forehead to go to bed. Oh, yeah, honey, I'm. Great day, huh? So she goes to get under the covers and go to bed. And I happen to look over, and she's getting under the covers very slowly so she doesn't disrupt the papers on top of her. And I look over and see my love sleeping under the weight of my bills. And it was just like, ugh. Because none of us want to see our own inaction be the cause of pain for our families. But that was the truth. I was faking it. Some of you are faking it. You haven't made a demarcation line, a decision point. And I'm not here preaching. I did it, too. And then that night, I see her sleeping under the bills, and I just looked over like, no, I'm not gonna let the love of my life be stuck there. I gotta fight for us. And that night, I started writing. It just started happening. Cause I was gonna fight for her. I wasn't gonna survive for me. I was gonna fight for my family. Who knows what I'm talking about? You better know what I'm talking about. Start writing. That night, that night, that night, that night, that week, that month. That month. Boom. Number one Amazon bestseller. Boom. That night, that night. Night. Boom. One, two, three. Six bestselling books. Boom. 30 online courses. Boom. $10 million a year. Bam, bam, bam, bam, Bam, bam. For 17 years. Never stopped. Never stopped. If you haven't written it down yet, you forgot how to learn during the pandemic. Write it down. Someone to fight for. Who are you fighting for when you wake up in the morning? Because if you don't know, you'll quit. When it's small, you'll think small. I love to show this picture. That's the writing table. That's the bed. That's me faking it. She took that picture. 18 days later, that first book was done. 18 days now. Not for me, for her. I remember I started doing my events, and I'd have to ask myself every day to motivate myself. Cause I was embarrassed. I wasn't getting traction. Every day. Take a picture of this with your phone. I want you to take a picture and I want you to print it out. I want you to put it next to your computer. Not for me, for you. Just put it on your phone. Cause I want you to ask this every day. Every day. Who needs me on my A game today? That means who needs me to be my best today? Is it Your mom? Is it your sister? Is it a client who's struggling? Is it somebody in this company who's waiting on you to lead, who needs you? Why is it necessary? This is called if you want to dork out on it and read my book, High Performance Habits. We in high performance studies and coaching, we call this psychological necessity. When it becomes necessary for you to succeed, you do. If it's not necessary, you don't. The problem is you're the only one who makes it necessary. The world doesn't care about you enough. The world don't see you enough. The world discounts you. You're the only one who will make it necessary for you to succeed. So you have to look at it every day. Every day I look at this. When I started, this was my first seminar room. No one ever believes me. I'm like, no, here's the other angle. No, that's the first event I ever did. No, there's me take. That's the whole room. I had 20 people. I counted my mom, who was there, my sister. And when the guy came in with the water jug, I counted him. And then this. Everyone always goes, why? I'll tell you why. You saw it. Cause every day, who needs me on my A game. I won't do it for myself, but I'll do it for you. I just won't. I don't know why. I could just survive on burritos and long walks. I mean, I'm a simple person. But when I do it for other people, that's where the breakthrough. That's where the millionaire comes from. That's where the person earning eight figures comes from. That's how the greats are still doing it. Oprah still gets up and thinks about people, not just herself. You got to make that decision. The girl who I told you, we just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. She believed in me when I didn't believe in me. There's someone in your life who believes in you, probably more than you do. And I want to tell you something. You might not have that at home. And that's why I want you to remember. I don't know how you feel about life or God or spirit, serendipity, coincidence, but maybe you traveled all this way to be in Vegas to have this room of people believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Can I get an amen On a weekday, maybe? You're supposed to sit next to this person and you didn't even know. So turn the person left to right, shake them and thank them for being here. Grab their shoulders. Thank them for being here. Sa.