Take Control of Your Thoughts

For most people, their thoughts have been manufactured by others. They didn't ever learn to take control. I know this sounds almost flippant to someone who's struggling in this area because you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Brendan, you're just saying I don't sense meaning in my life because I've never learned to define it. I'm like, no, I'm saying you don't sense the depth and the fullness of meaning that you deserve in your life because you haven't been consistent enough in defining the events of your life in supportive and meaningful ways for you. Not saying you never done it. I'm saying we're lacking the consistency and the depth in it. Often when we were young, we weren't taught personal development. It's why I'm so passionate about teaching kids. If kids don't learn personal development, they don't learn to take control of their own thoughts. A fundamental in all personal growth. Take control of your thoughts again. Get to define the meaning of the events in your life. Many of you took an event in your life and ascribed defined a meaning to that event that actually harmed you over the long term. Your parent did something bad and you decided as a small kid that the meaning of that was you were bad. Anyone ever been there? Right? That's therapy 101, right? I'm not a therapist or a neurologist or a psychiatrist or anything ends in an ist. But isn't it true that we do, that there were things that happened to us where we subscribed a bad meaning to it? We attached a label of bad meaning. Well, guess what? The more of those bad meaning labels you ascribe each year to something, the more you got a big thing, a big backpack of negative meanings that you're carrying around every day. That's what's happening. One reason people don't feel positive meaning towards life is because they have hammered negative meaning into every event so many times that that baggage is real. It is Heav. And how could they possibly lift their eyes and their head to a destiny and a greater meaning and positivity? Because they're carrying the weight of all these negative meanings they've ascribed to everything throughout their lives. And it sounds flippant as hell to say, I know, to tell someone, but you gave yourself those meanings. Maybe you didn't know back then. You unconsciously created those labels. You unconsciously ascribe that meaning. You believed what they said and their meaning you took as your own, and you carried everyone else's meanings or all the negative meanings and you never decided as an adult. As an adult decided. You know what? From this day forward, this is a demarcation line. From this day forward, from now on, every day, I'm going to be very conscious about the meaning I put on things. I'm going to start putting meaning on things that are supportive of my life. I'm going to put meaning on things that help me learn and get better. I'm going to put meaning on things that allow grace and forgiveness and self love and self awareness versus self hatred and negative judgment. You start that as an adult one day or you do not, period. And that impacts your sense of meaning in life. I believe most people have never been taught any of this. And I know that sounds crazy for me to say as a person, this like my job, my career. And yet I know that Most people, about 98% of the world, don't read personal development or spirituality books. They don't read sociology. They don't read psychology. They have no background, no stuff. They've never taken a class, any of those topics. Topics. So they've never even taught about how we interpret the events of our lives into safety, not safe belonging. No, belonging into our identity, into our next intentions, into the patterns of behaviors and thought that we have in the future. Because most people don't get taught that they've been running on autopilot. And when you run on autopilot, you know what the problem with autopilot is? The manufacturer set the speed for you. The manufacturer set that governor what's possible in your life. And for most people, their thoughts have been manufactured by others. They didn't ever learn to take control. I know this sounds almost flippant to someone who's struggling in this area because you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Brendan, you're just saying I don't sense meaning in my life because I've never learned to define it. I'm like, no, I'm saying you don't sense the depth and the fullness of meaning that you deserve in your life because you haven't been consistent enough in defining the events of your life in supportive and meaningful ways for you. Not saying you've never done it. I'm saying we're lacking the consistency and the depth in it. Because I know some of this might go, yeah, yeah, I already know all this brand. I'm like, great, Lots of people know lots of things. Common sense is not always common practice. I get it if you are. Yeah, I already get this brand. I'm like, okay, great. But have you been doing It, I mean, think about this year, think about last year. What meaning did you consistently subscribe to your daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly experiences? Most people said, oh, I'm so glad this whole year is done. Look, the pandemic sucked, right? That's what lots of people say, it sucked. I'm like, well, kind of still parts of it. We're in it. And I'm like, wait, so a year or two, the whole thing sucked? Everything sucked, Every moment sucked. And that's what we do if we don't like something. We throw away these whole timelines. I know people who are so maladjusted as adults because they threw away entire seasons of their childhood. Something awful happened to them in high school. Well, my high school sucked. I'm like, the entire thing. Every day, 365 for four years, you never imbued a single moment with joy, happiness, fulfillment, passion, excitement, adventure, love? Nothing. Not once ever. But that's what we do. We throw out things. See, the more you throw out of your life, the less meaningful it feels, doesn't it? Do you know who feel incredible meaning in their lives? People who cherish their life. Cherish it. Truly cherish their life. And if you feel like I'm speaking philosophically to you, I'm not. I've had the, both the blessing and the very real difficulties of being with a lot of people at the end of their life. And many of you know, I've volunteered in hospice. I've been with my own father as he passed away in our home. And I can share with you that it's not until too late that many people finally start cherishing their life, really owning and appreciating different parts of their life. And if you can remember to do that, I think something magical happens. That's why I ask everybody, go into your growth day, journal every day and capture any meaningful moment, capture any sense of gratitude, capture any event you didn't like. And spin that meaning into such a way where you acknowledge what's real, but you're back in control of your emotions, feelings, and your next actions. It's like by the more often that we capture moments that we can cherish or moments that we can learn, the more life becomes more meaningful. But absent of that self reflection, it's just a busy blur. That's why journaling has proven over and over and over in psychology, including mental health practices and yes, therapy, to dramatically shift people's thoughts and feelings and life satisfaction over the long term. Almost no single tool other than journaling has ever proven to do that period outside of speaking consistently with a therapist, it's an incredibly powerful tool to gain more meaning in life. That moment of self reflection, that moment of capturing something, as soon as you capture it, you start to recognize it and feel it and cherish it a little bit more. But all that takes what you deciding to define the moments of your life more actively and consciously and consistently. And people are like, gosh, do you do that every day, Brendan? I'm like, yeah, as simple as, you know what right before bed thinking, like, what's the meaning? I need to put onto some of the events today that both gave me energy and took some energy away. What's the meaning? I need to put on that argument I had today. What's the meaning? I need to put on that reward I got today. What's the meaning? I need to put on this frustration I keep having. What's the meaning? I need to put on that beautiful moment with the cat and my wife. Oh, my God. Like, if you don't see them again, reflect and put a label or a meaning on it, then guess what? Disappears. The more disappeared moments that we don't capture, appreciate, cherish, ascribe, meaning to, the less meaning we feel. So many people feel little meaning in their life because they've never actually, actually consciously put meaning on anything. Put more meaning on things more consistently. You feel it more.