The Formula to Achieve Your Dreams

I don't know what my purpose is. Cool. Be more helpful to your family and your community and the people around you. Right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life. Cool. Be more helpful. Be of service. There's something you are tenacious about learning, figuring out and doing it, even if you are naturally good about it. Be there more. Explore that more. Now, I know it's a little old school and dorky, but it's a formula that works for me. I'm gonna explain a lot about your life right now, and you might not like it. How much work is allowed? Your dreams must be bigger than drama, distractions, and discouragement. Oh, my God. What I need to do is do that. You're giving your mind every day a great dose of judgment, comparison, and exhaustion. We spend a lot of time analyzing the losses. Are my dreams getting my time, or is drama and distraction and discouragement getting my soul? Today we're going to talk about the formula. I'd written my first book. Things are going great, and yet I'm watching these video results and people are watching the first part and they drop off, which happens, right? But it really bothered me because, like, how are they disengaging from the conversation about their life so fast? I'm visiting my parents back in the house. I walk into the house and walk through the living, going up to my childhood bedroom. And my mom and dad are watching that show with Pat Sajak and Vanna White where they turn the letters. Anyone know what the show is called? Wheel of Fortune. On the board, there were a few letters that were turned, but not all of them. And the people on the show have to guess what the words are. Well, I walk by and I stop and I see a few words, a few letters. I'm like, oh, I wonder what? And I sat down and I couldn't leave until it was completed. And my head went, oh, my God. What I need to do is do that. So I got the flip chart and I wrote down words on a post it note. I stuck them to it. I put another post it note above it and wrote, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. And my views went through the roof. People watched the whole video because they had to see what was behind number seven. And so for me, the flip chart is a special thing. And I just want you to know that story. I'm gonna explain a lot about your life right now, and you might not like it. Your dreams must be bigger than the drama in your life. Sometimes the drama in your life becomes the highlighted thing. The more you take things personally, you don't let it pass through. You hold onto it. You develop that emotional baggage. Well, that emotional baggage was a decision that you were wronged, that it's unfair for you only. And by the way, we've all been wronged. Who's had unfair stuff happen recently? This is not stuff that goes away, but particularly dramatic people, they take it personally. They make it a thing. So what gets their attention? The gossip, the thing they live in the thing. That's what I call the drama, the thing. It is just this noise monster that is barreling through cities and eating people's hearts and souls. The dreams must be greater than the drama. This formula gets a little bigger because we also have to make sure that the dream is bigger than the distractions. For those at home, someone just went sh T. Is there always going to be drama and distractions even when you experience parts of the dreams? Sure. I'm just here to tell you you can't sustain and grow that dream when these things are dominant. I had drama getting to the theater this morning. I had drama. We couldn't get in the door. We couldn't get in the theater. It's my show. The job is to serve. This is the dream. My mind is not on the distraction. Things don't go perfectly. You can still be in the dream. No place more are we sucked into distraction than social media today. And if you can't recognize that, then it owns you. See, in this society where we're scrolling and swiping, the average North American is losing in an hour to hour and a half a day. Am I like her? Am I like her? Am I like him? Am I like him? Why does my thing. Oh, they have better headline. Look at that better headline. Ooh, look at that cool little thing they have going. Oh, look at that little buck. Oh, I don't have to do that. Oh, their video better than mine. Oh, my God. My God. Compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare, compare. And so what ends up happening? You're giving your mind every day a great dose of judgment, comparison and exhaustion. Do you remember malls? How often did you go to the mall? People go, oh, yeah, a lot, Brendan. Maybe I'd go, you know, once, twice, three, four times a week. I'm like, did you ever go to the mall two hours a day, every day for a year? They go, no. I said, why wouldn't you do that? Well, I don't have the time for that. This time is part of the formula. And if this is getting so Much of your time over this extraordinary gets further and further and further away. Do you see why this formula is so important? This is life to me. This is modern life for people. I'll say the last piece is your dreams must be bigger than drama, distractions and discouragement. You've got to see beyond the discouragement. When you're discouraged, you better reconnect with that idea, that feeling, that identity, that wants to be extraordinary, that wants to pull yourself through it. I think what happens for a lot of us though, is that we get in a place where we spend a lot of time analyzing the losses, analyzing the failure. It's like we're always in post mortem about something that went bad and that gets our focus. You learn mindfulness, you learn presence, you make those things a real study. So then when you get knocked down, you don't stay down so long. You've got your future orientation. That's this thing of, I'm going to become extraordinary, I'm going to live an extraordinary life. But you've got the in the moment presence and mindfulness that can feel freedom from the emotions that keep bringing you down. I want you to write this formula down and I would love for you to maybe even take a picture of it one day. Apple will give you the reminder where you were a year ago. And this little slide shows up on your phone. You're like, oh, how am I doing? Are my dreams getting my time? Or is drama and distraction and discouragement getting my soul? Some people make the decision, though, and their problem isn't the formula. Their problem is the ceiling. I'm not talking about the glass ceiling. I'm not talking about the ceiling of your potential. I'm talking about a different ceiling that is very unique to successful people. You have a different ceiling. Some of you know I charge a million dollars to coach a person one on one. And inevitably, over the last 10 years, the ceilings come up over and over. The problem is if an extraordinary life, that high ambition is completely undefined. Watch what happens if there is no ceiling on your ambitions or your dreams, meaning no clarity, no target. Then there's also no ceiling on how much you will work every week. And now the weirdest thing happens. One that's burnout. You haven't capped the ambition. You don't know what you're after here. So because you're a doer, you're an achiever, you're a builder, you're a striver, you're a leader, you will keep building, striving and leading and burn yourself right into the ground because you will never set the ceiling of how much do I actually work? How much work is allowed? Most people never ask that question. I know that sounds painful to hear, but sometimes we justify our work and our striving as the extraordinary part of ourselves. I don't want to take away your work ethic. Well, why are you bringing this up? Well, are you burned out? I'm not burned out. I'm energized, Brendan. This is my purpose, this is my passion. I go to the paint boy. Uh huh. Okay, so you don't call it burnout. You have less time with your kids and friends than you want. Yeah, Brennan, that's it. Okay, then we've got a ceiling issue here. See, high achievers, you have to set your ceiling for how much you're willing to work. I had a great mentor. Y' all remember Brian Tracy? Yeah. Brian still teaches. He's amazing. And he told me early on in my career, he said, brendan, you better have your number. I said, what is my number? He said, well, the number is how much you need to make. And once you make that, it's not that you won't keep striving. You will keep building. He says, brendan, you're a builder, you're a leader. You will keep going. I want you to keep going. But I also want you to keep going and have more fun because you already hit your number. I was like, wow, that was some good mentorship. When he asked my number, without a beat, I said, $40,000 a year. He kind of looked at me like. And everyone kind of looked at me like, why are you here? I was like, well, I painted these chicken coops. I'm kind of a bare minimum guy. I mean, some of you seen me wear this outfit recently, but My number is 40. I've been having a blast. I have more time with the things that are important to me. High achievers, how hard are vacations? Sometimes if you're a high achiever, you're like, oh, I don't have time for this vacation. Why is it every time I go on vacation, all this drama follows me? Cause you're the drama. If you struggle taking time for yourself, you got a ceiling problem. And the problem is you don't have one. Some people need to set a ceiling so they can have a life. I want you to think about this. Maybe it's okay for you to have a ceiling of how much you'll work. Matter of fact, maybe that will bring just enough balance and harmony that you repair the relationship with the kids again. Because you're home. That you repair the relationship with your spouse. Because you're around and present. Okay, so what do I do with myself? I want to introduce to you the path. The Path is an acronym. Go on the path. The path. More time with your passions. What does that mean to you? If it's work, that's fine. What else? There needs to be counterpoint your unique abilities. These are your talents, your gifts, your nature, your strength. The things that you should be doing. If you're off path in your career, meaning you're off earning. You're probably spending too much time doing things that don't move the needle. You're giving your great abilities to administrative things that might not be in alignment with your great abilities. You get the idea? I will not belabor it. Pay attention to where you have tenacity in your life. You had tenaciousness somewhere in high school. There was a test you were getting ready for and you just really studied. There was a sport you were playing. You really played it. There was something you did that for whatever reason, you just didn't. You didn't give up on. And this is important to teach because sometimes the things you had tenacity to, you actually didn't have any ability on. Sometimes you had the tenacity you actually. It wasn't a passion yet. I didn't realize until much later my tenacity was tied to this one. Helpfulness. I don't know what my purpose is. Cool. Be more helpful to your family and your community and the people around you. Right now, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life. Cool. Be more helpful. Be of service. There's something you are tenacious about learning, figuring out and doing it, even if you aren't naturally good about it. Be there more. Explore that more. And same thing with helpfulness. If you found a unique way that brings you joy or fulfillment of helping people, Be there more. For those who are struggling, well, what is my dream? Be here more. I don't know what your dream is, but I know if you're here more, you'll be more centrally located in the right vicinity. You'll be in the proper zip code more often. You all understand what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah. That's the path. Let me increase a little bit more time here. Let me take one hour away from Instagram and give it somewhere here. Can you do that? Will you do that? If we can do that, we can make a big shift. We can make a big shift. Get back on Pat. Yeah. Thank you.