The WHY Behind Your Goals

Foreign. Hey, my friends, it's Brendan Burchard.

And welcome to the Brendan Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more disciplined and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organization organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. HPX wellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado, onto today's episode.

Now we talk about productivity. We talk about, okay, what are you going to do with all this new psychological weaponry? What are you going to do with all this physical energy you suddenly have now that you're so excited about. And you, you can move the needle on what happens now. Well, that's the question. And I love productivity because, you know, allows me to jump into a part of the seminar that's really important, which is, why do you all do what you do? And I don't just mean, like your career. I mean, as a human, what is it you're really after? Because you can have a great mindset and great habits and great physiology, but if you don't understand what you're after or what makes you tick or what your major aspirations in life really are, then you take job to job to job to job to job job. You jump on new bandwagon, new bandwagon, new bandwagon. You start fall off. Start fall off. Start fall off. And by the way, that experimentation is a good thing, and it's very positive. It's just if you're doing all that and you feel lost, disengaged, unfulfilled, then we got a problem. Meaning I'm totally okay for experimentation, but I'd better be enjoying it. I'd better be giving into it. I better be experiencing it and really, really enjoying that process. So we're going to talk about that today. We're going to talk about what is it we're being productive for? What are we being productive for? I believe our intent here, what we want to be productive for, is the aspirations we have in our life. I think the first aspiration we all have is what we call being goals, being goals. We have aspirations for the person we want to become, the type of person we want to be. I believe we all want to be a person that we are proud of, that we respect, who enjoys life. That's what I believe. We all want to respect ourselves. We want to like, whether you don't. If you don't like the word pride, just use the word respect. We all want to respect ourselves, be proud of who we are, and enjoy life as who we are. That stuff of authenticity stands here. That stuff of genuine expression stand here. That stuff of your values, your beliefs, whatever you think makes you a good person. That's the being goals of life. When you say, I want to be a good mom, that is an aspiration that you have. Some days you hit the mark, other days you don't. So it's not a human need. Because if it's a need, you do it much more often. Like food is a need. How many follow?

Right?

So sometimes the aspirations literally overlie things like Abraham Maslow or other people who are needs theorists it's like, no, no, no. If it was a real need, we would all do it all the time. That's why they call it an aspiration. We want to become this person. But the truth is you don't need to become anybody. You can just become a consumer of Netflix and take out. With a part time job to support Netflix and take out.

Right?

Living on your friend's couch even, or a borrowed couch. We've all been there. Who's ever been on the borrowed couch before?

All right.

Not enough people. Okay, that's just me. Okay, all right, all right. Anyone ever bought an IKEA couch? Anyone bought a 7 year old Ikea couch? Just seeing who my people are. But being goals, it's like, who do I want to become? That's when you think like you need to tie your productivity to that is what I am producing or doing in the world, helping me more fully express that, live that touch that rim. Cause a lot of people, they have aspirations for being a great person. But what they are doing in the world is a mismatch. They want to be a great leader, somebody who people respect, but what they're doing in the world isn't commanding that. They want to be a great father, but they're not spending the time, they're not clearing out the calendar, taking the moments to take. The kids do stuff so they're not showing up. And so here's this thing in being goals that we will always talk about in psychology that's so important that goes along with it. What being goals is really about congruence. Our aspiration is we want to be a congruent human being with the best of who we are. And when we're not, we're in suffering. When we are, we're in flow. When we're blocking ourselves from it, we're in misery. When our priorities line up with that person we want to become, we're in joy. Raise your hand if you follow. Congruence when you're miserable is because you know you're not living as the best of who you are. You know you're playing too small of a game. You know that you are not activating your values, your beliefs. You know you are closed down. You know you're in the cage. You know you are not showing up yourself as who you really want to be. And that silence, that silence where you are like backing away or closing down in that type of silence, in some silence, it's good, like a meditation. That kind of silence is beautiful. In the silence that happens when we aren't congruent when we're not proud of ourselves, when we aren't trying to. To be our best. In that kind of silence, that dark night silence, doubting who we are, knowing we're not being our best or even trying. Sometimes in that type of silence, there is often suffering. And if there's not suffering, there's soul searching. And if there's not suffering or soul searching, there's the midlife, Ferrari buying nonsense. That happens when someone realizes I haven't been who I am, so. So they act out against everybody else. You've been holding me here. And everyone's like, oh, man, we haven't been holding you nowhere. No, it's your fault that I'm not happier. What? Dude, dude, you seemed happy. You were doing your thing. Well, no, I haven't been happy for years. How come you ain't sign nothing to nobody? But now whose fault is it when they weren't being congruent? Right. When you're in pain, your lack of congruence is everyone else's fault. When you're in pain, everyone else's fault. It's their fault that you didn't get to live your life. It's their fault that you didn't get to have the thing, do the thing, experience the thing. It's very easy to spot people, the people who blame everybody else about their reality, what happened. It's not that they're necessarily bad persons. They just got really disconnected from the primary aspirations of life. They forgot to think about who they wanted to become and act intentionally into that. And so being around the wrong people or being around the wrong moment or just like going through the motions each day, they lost congruence, the magic. But how many of you felt something magical in this room? Because you, you are tapping into a part of you that maybe you haven't voiced or expressed or thought about or dreamed of. Some of you owned a dream you haven't thought about in years. Some of you made a big decision about your health or your life, your family, somebody in this room. You had a shift in being. And that's why it feels sometimes so great to be in this community. Yeah. Get around people who are in touch with this aspiration and avoid people who don't get it. Spend more time with people who are in touch with the aspiration of like, I want to be like, if we're going to hang out, I want to be inspired by you. Not by what you've achieved, not what's in your bank account, but that you are aspiring to grow into Your best.

Hey, it's Brandon. I'm bopping in here real fast for you. To urge you to go to hpxwellness.com and check out our products to help you get get more of that mental focus and energy you need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence, to feel like vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And so I've created three specific products to help you with that. Go to HPX wellness.com check out our new nutrition line, and let's get you to high performance, baby. HVX wellness.com.

I also think we got to remind each other that one of the primary aspirations of life and the human species is those goals of relating our relationship. Goals like we are social animals. And for us, if congruence is so important in this category of relating, what is so important is connection. We desperately desire it, want it, hunt for it, seek for it, pay for it. We want connection. We invest in relationships. We invest in each other, we invest in our family. I mean, think about the commitment of having a child. You're like saying, I am going to be your parent at least until you get out of this damn house. I mean, it's like these commitments that we make. Who in this room is married? Like legally married? Like you really, like you really had to sign a form and stuff. I mean, look around the room. That's a lot of people. You made an extraordinary commitment because you have aspirations for the type of relationship you want. You want those relationships that are loving and filling and vibrant and joyful and intimate and sensual and beautiful and honoring. Isn't that what we want? And so the question is, are you acting in a way that draws that from the relationship and imbues that with the relationship? Because what happens is sometimes when we get away from our aspirations or around the wrong group or in the wrong relationship, what becomes about me, me, me, me, me. Grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab. Point, Point, point, point, point, point, point. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Break up, breakup, make up, breakup, break up next. And it just goes on. And you're like, why? I think this value that we so desperately desire is often not treated seriously. And while I joke about it, I think your relationships matter more than anything else. To be with family, groups of people where you feel a heart connection, get around that more. Raise your hand if you agree to that. Get around that more. Whatever that is in your world or your life or your opportunities, get around that. Where people have exceptional relationships, where they're trying to build those relationships, where they're. I don't care if the relationship is like you're trying to build deep, meaningful work together at work as a relationship at work between employees and friends. If you're trying to build relationships with your buddies, your pals, your friends, your intimate significant others, like have relationships that bring you alive because that means on those days that you're not being your best or feeling your best. One reason this is so foundational to us is cause sometimes this can make us better. Raise your handy followers. And I just, I'm kind of bummed that my wife isn't here at this particular event and she's at some, not at some others. But I'll tell you, if you've seen what we do with HPX and our brand, if you've seen Denise and I together, she makes me better. That girl, she. Thank you. She's amazing. That girl has supported me when no one else believed it in me, including myself. She bought me groceries when I was broke and that meant the world to me. Cause every time she set that grocery bag on the counter and I thought that she had to buy that. Cause I can't. When I got hurt, my friend lugged me and threw me on the couch and he left. She's taken care of me. The good times, the bad times, the times when we had nothing, the times when we had more than anything else that we could ever have possibly imagined. She's the same girl. She's that same woman who just has that buoyant personality. And the reason I bring it up is cause sometimes your spouse or your partner or your friends, your family, if you make real relationships with them, they can tell when you're off and they can send a nice thing. They can tell when you're having a bad day or you fell out of alignment and they can challenge you. We just aspire to have great relationships because it makes you better. My lady, she makes me better. I mean, thank God for her because if you saw me 10 years ago, oh, I don't think you'd been here on day three. I mean, I'm just telling you, I didn't know. I mean, love will open you up.

Get around people who are heart centered.

We also have that human and unique impulse for creating the aspiration of creating. Now this is so critical to your life, what you are creating, right? Some of you, you're creating plans for bridges or in homes or business plans, you're creating keynotes or social media. You're creating businesses or relationships. But like, the act of creating something is what we came from in the first place. So it is a spark within us. And for some people, creation for them, hey, look, their primary thing here, creating what they really want to create so desperately is contributions. They want to give, they want to serve. They want to create and make a difference. They want to create a legacy. They wanna create a dent in the universe. They wanna create something. And you need to know what that is for you and how to do it at the next level. And you need to be around people who are creating things. Now, not everybody ties creation to contribution, right? Some artists, they just create. Cause the impulse is to create. So those who say the human need is contribution is just. They haven't studied psychology long enough. It's not a need. How many of you know a lot of deadbeats on couches in basements who hadn't paid rent, who haven't paid thank you to their parents and ain't Contributed Nothing in 35 years? Anyone knows somebody like that. Let's not fool ourselves. It was a need everybody was doing. Contribution is not a need. If it was, everyone would do it. By definition. It's just not a need. It's not even an impulse for everybody. But one thing is, is creating that sense of creating. Even that kid in the basement might be playing video games and creating other worlds. They might be doing puzzles, they might be creating havoc online. But I promise they are creating something, right? Because it is our way. Like humans, we have to do, interact, add to. And so many of us rarely recognize that's an aspiration to create something. Like, sometimes your next level is to ask, what's that next level of creation for me, right? I've done the things to survive. Now what do I wanna create? I did the first business, it was all right, but now what do I wanna create? What do I wanna contribute now at this stage of my life? That's a big one. That's a huge one. That's an aspiration that I can get excited about. That's what you will inspire me about in a group or a mastermind or a conversation. When you're like, brendan, I wanna create this thing. And I'm the first guy do it. Cause some people go, oh, that's crazy. This is where the world ruins ourselves. People have big dreams to create something. And they make fun of them, they reject them, they tease them, they just like, criticize them when we should all be cheering each other on. When you hear somebody with a big dream, don't kick them to the side, cheer them on from the side. Be like, okay, let's go. Good for you. Turn to the person left, right, shake them, say, I see you creating a difference. All right.

Hey, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed that episode and I hope it helped you reach another level of high performance in your life, whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show and I'm deeply thankful.

Please.

So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple Podcasts and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes? And also while you're there to help me, just download the last five episodes too, onto your phone because, you know, Apple really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews. And I've never really asked for that in six years of podcasting. And finally my friends convinced me to ask you to do that for me. I've never asked anything when my podcast community community ever. But I'd really, really appreciate if you could do that. Also, if you would like some more in depth training, please don't forget that every single month I go live for two hours and teach new and original personal development research new frameworks to my entire virtual community in our HPX coaching program. And you can just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com to learn all about the different options there. But listen, I'm live two hours every single month with literally thousands of high achievers from around the world who tune in to get these new frameworks for reaching high performance in their life. Sometimes we talk about relationships. Sometimes we talk about breaking bad habits. Sometimes we talk about achieving another level of confidence or discipline or goal attainment. But we are there every single month and I'd love for you to join us. Just go to hpxcoaching.com to see all of your options and really join us. Dedicate yourself to personal mastery. Dedicate yourself to this journey, not just once in a while with an episode here or there or a book there, but literally a program that could change your Life. It's called HPX Coaching and you can go to hpxcoaching.com until next time, my friends. Please remember every single day you can choose to be average or ordinary or just kind of go through the motions, or you can be more intentional, more disciplined, more excellence driven what you do because you know you need to serve those you love. And those that you lead, you can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends, go out there today and be extraordinary.

Sam.