Think Like a Monk with Jay Shetty (2 of 2)

Foreign. Hey, my friends, it's Brandon Burchard. And welcome to a special episode of the Brendon Show. Hey, my friends, I wish you could see the big smile on my face. To bring you an epic, an awesome two part conversation with Jay Shetty. His new book, think like a Monk is out. I'm sure you've seen it all over social media, all at the top of the bestseller lists and something that's been really anticipated and excited in the industry because I think this is a time for, you know, wisdom and wellness to have that message out there. And as many of you know, Jay has become a huge viral sensation in the industry with 11 million plus fans on Facebook, over 3 billion video views, you know, 6 million and a half or something on Instagram, and just somebody who really took the world by storm. And what is it about him? About how he thinks, about how he deals with stress, about how he would suggest we face these times from a place where we can find our peace. Many of you know he also has a podcast, which I hope you listen to, called On Purpose, where he interviews some of the great celebrities, thinkers and folks in our industry of this time. And my episode with him, if you ever heard it was super popular. And you can do some awesome exercises I took Jay through. You can actually listen to me take him through some exercises for energy on his podcast. Again, it's called On Purpose. You can search for the episode with me, Brendan Burchard and Jay Shetty on his podcast On Purpose. But this was a conversation that, frankly, I rarely do. As you know, the Brendon show originally began, I don't know, six or seven years ago as really a community storehouse of audio, if you will, for you guys, from audio from my courses to my live trainings to our seminars to, you know, coaching that I do with people. And it was meant for that. So I rarely, rarely do interviews unless it's something really specific or I think it meets the time so uniquely that I could add something maybe unique. And I thought that this would be that exactly for you. So I hope you enjoy this episode with Jay Shetty. Hey, guys, before we jump into this episode, I want to remind you at the beginning of this next month, I go live for two hours to deliver you a personal development seminar. If you didn't know, we started really taking my coaching group into this philosophy I call Growth day, which is begin the first of your month with clear intentions about what you want to achieve that month. Make that day, that first of the month, your day of growth. And why not? Do it with me. I guide literally thousands of high achievers around the world through that first day of the month where we get together, we get live. I teach a personal development seminar for maybe 75 minutes. I put you into breakouts so you can network. Share what you've learned about your life, share what you're working on, share what you're struggling with, share what you need help with. Connect with real community through breakout groups Live. It is a very special and unique, very, very distinct offering in the marketplace right now that I literally recrafted our community because of the challenge of 2020. I just saw it as something that was needed. We need to do our personal development now more than ever. Because if we leave our personal development to randomness, we'll always be locked in the land of mediocrity. If we don't get our heads right right now, this year's gone. We've got to get our lives back. And the way to do that is to engage more ferociously, fiercely, intensely, intentionally cons with our personal development. The way to do that is join me in my coaching program. Go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com you can sign up for our annual membership right now for half off. Or you can go month by month with us and cancel anytime. Doesn't matter to me. But get in this first of the month, spend the day growing with me. On the first of this upcoming month, let me take you through a personal development seminar. Let me break you out into groups. Let me share how to set your next month's goals, your next quarter's goals, how to figure out the rest of this year and end it strong. It's still possible. Go to hpxcoaching.com. You know, I have this vision of monks being sort of warriors too. Sometimes you can't hurt them in a sense of that. You know, I say it to my coaching clients all the time. I say, if your first impulse is to defend yourself when someone accuses or says something to you, be aware of that. Because what if you didn't feel that impulse because you knew their arrows couldn't hurt you?

Yeah.

And it's almost like you have a bubble around you. It's like you can. Your arrows can't hurt me.

Yeah.

And so I don't have to defend. You don't have to defend yourself if you know the arrows can't hit.

Yes.

You can walk through that battlefield almost magnanimous. You can walk through that battlefield calm and peaceful because you know their weaponry can't hit you. It's a superpower when you don't over personalize. You walk through the battlefield and the arrows can't hit you.

Yeah.

Now you don't have to defend. Now you can just watch, you can observe, you can see things. And there's a lot of parts of, you know, your book Think Like a Monk, where it just reminded me of, you know, breathing, it reminded me of intention. It reminded me specifically your. Your writing on ego was so powerful. It's like, oh, my ego's hooked into this. That's why I feel this way. Like ego, emotion. Oh, got it. And I think if anyone's really struggled with that, taking things over personally, personalized ways, please read Think Like a Monk. Because Jay nailed that section on ego. He nailed that section on fear, which we'll talk about. But the idea that you could have compassion to others who are being mean to you, that's another elevated state of consciousness. And that's why I think this book is important.

Yeah. And it's a beautiful way to live because when someone gives you negativity, and like you said, if you defend and you give them negativity back, you've created more negativity within yourself. Whereas if someone comes at you in negativity, and like you beautifully said, if you realize that those arrows can't hit you, now you focused on love. And so now all you have is love and you have compassion. And that's what it's about. It's about choosing how you want to feel. Right. We always say, like, oh, that person made me feel that way.

Right.

That's a common thing. Like, oh, they made me feel so bad. But actually that's because we're not allowing ourselves to choose how we feel. Right. And that's a really important thing that choosing how we feel in moments of negativity. It genuinely is something that we can direct.

So real. Let's talk about. You're known for this and deservedly so about your. A lot of your videos are really based in relationships. A lot of your content is based on relationships. It's that one to one intimate significant other, someone you deeply care about. You wrote a beautiful chapter on relationships in the book. Talk to us a little bit about how does a monk think about these times when literally hundreds of millions of people around the world have been crammed into their house with their spouse, with their partners, with their kids. And now all the problems that might have existed but were run over by being busy are now when you're in that house and you're together. There's a lot of relationship turmoil happening all over the world. We've seen many friends of ours, their marriages didn't even survive through these difficult times. When you take stress and you overlay it onto Covid, onto politics, on the negativity, onto the fears of our uncertain times, it's affecting relationships. So how does the monk stay calm and cool in a relationship where now there's a lot more exchange?

Yeah, well, like you said, what we're experiencing is extreme. And so you have to take, as we know, extreme measures. And. And you have to change the focus. So, for example, and I'll be, you know, I'll talk about the Hmong perspective, but even me and my wife, when. When we went through this together and we were, obviously, we lived together, and I was saying to Brendan, before, we're so used to me traveling, her traveling, distant apart. And now all of a sudden, this is the most time we've spent together. And I have to be honest and say, in the first month, we had to have several clear, clarifying, resetting, expectation conversations.

Love this.

And that's the crazy thing, that if you don't, it's like if the game changes and you don't adapt your strategy, you're going to lose. And I think what often happens is the game changes and we want to hold on to the strategy. Can you imagine, pick your favorite sport in the world and can you imagine if the game changes because of the way the other team is playing or the rain starts pouring down and the coach goes, no, no, we're going to stick to the same strategy we came with. And that's how we approach life. We go, no, no, I'm going to stick with it. I like my normal life. I like the way we used to do it. We're going to stay that way. But the game just changed 180 on every single one of us. And so we have to reset expectations. We have to reset what we're asking for from our partners. And that has to be a very evident conversation. So how monks see this, and by the way, monks live in ashrams. I remember waking up sometimes in the ashram and there's a hundred people there that you're living with. So you're living with 100 egos, 100 mind and a hundred different opinions on.

A mountaintop by yourself. You're communal living.

Totally. It's communal living. And often what I would say is, this was the first thing that we heard when we became monks, was welcome to the hospital. You know, and they said, welcome to the hospital. Some of, some of you will think that the doctors have no weakness. But they said, remember that the doctors, as much patience as they are doctors and remember that all of you as patients will also sometimes grow to be doctors. But we're simultaneously always doctors and patients. And don't you ever forget that. And it was like this reality and wake up call of like in a home, sometimes you're leading, sometimes you're following. Sometimes you, you follow and they'll lead and it will shift. And so you have to learn that role that you play. So one of my favorite things that I share inside the book which I really believe is the heart of all challenges in relationships and I'm not just going to say the word communication, I'm going to go a step further than that. It's the ability to diagnose what we're actually asking for and what we actually need. Most of us are asking for things that aren't even clearly linked to what we are actually missing. And so I'll give an example of this. I have so many clients that I coach or so many people that I work with where the number one thing they want from their partner is time. Like, I wish my partner had more time, Brendan. I wish they just gave me more time. Now the amazing thing is me and Brendon are giving each other time right now. But what if I was like this the whole time? What if Brendan was writing another best selling book at this time and we kind of talk but imagine we did that the whole time it looks like.

You'Re present there with them but you're not. When this is like, this is like a force field between you, your phone, your, your, your task, your thing. I love that time.

Yeah. This could be a book, this could be a newspaper, this could be email, whatever it is. But it's interesting, people say I want more time. And so people come back from a weekend away and then they'll go back to their partner and be like, I wish we spent more time together. And the other part is going, well, we just went our way on a weekend and they're thinking, but no, but you were at the beach and I was with the kids and that wasn't. So what are people really asking for? I've realized that over this time people are asking for three things. When they're asking for time, they're asking for presence, they're asking for attention and they're asking for intimacy. That is what people are actually asking for.

Beautiful.

Say the word time. And so we misunderstand it. So I share in the book this beautiful link to a table. And if you type in Harvard Emotional List onto Google, you can find this. And I recommend actually printing this out, keeping a screenshot on your phone. And what this does is that. And I call it the emotional vocabulary. It's called Harvard Emotions List. But I really believe, Brendan, that we have a very limited emotional vocabulary. So when someone says, we use five words. Okay, good, bad, fine. Hmm. Right. Like, how's your day going? Okay. How's your week doing? Good. How's that project? Fine. Right. And so we don't even understand how we feel. So how's someone else going to understand how we feel? So what the emotional vocabulary by Harvard does is that it shows you the top word of, say, sad. And then it shows you almost an extension of what are you really feeling when you're sad? Are you upset? Are you offended? Are you disappointed? Are you disheartened? Are you heartbroken? There are so many more words. So this is what it means to think like a monk, where you diagnose how you genuinely feel, and then you clearly articulate that so that not only are you asking for the right thing, people really understand you. And that's one of the biggest mistakes in relationships. We don't really know what we're asking for.

I love that. I love that when you talk about setting expectations and maybe more clearly communicating like that. How did that look in your relationship at the beginning? What is setting expectations in a relationship during COVID or uncertainty like this look like?

Yeah. So for me and my wife, it was very much around what we expected each other to do around the home, because we were noticing that, you know, obviously we were. You've been to our apartment as well. It's nice, but it's not huge. And we've recently moved, actually. But when we were there, which was for most of our time during the beginning of the pandemic, it was like we were working out in the same space, eating in the same space, cooking in the same space, working in the same. I know this.

Yes.

Oh, my gosh. I mean, it can. You know, it gets a lot. And so the first thing was saying, okay, what are the activities that you're doing every day? And what are the activities that I'm doing every day? Which spaces are we going to do them? In what times roughly are we going to do them? And also, how do I expect you and me to help out? What days is it now? We're creating more trash than ever because we're eating three meals at home. So it's like, who's going to take the bins out? But stuff as basic as that, who's going to take the trash out? Who's going to take the trash out often? Who's going to clean up more often? Because guess what? Now we have to clean up nearly every other day because we're just in this space all the time. So we had to set really clear guidelines of who's cleaning, when are they cleaning, when are you using this room, when are you not using this room, what are your expectations, how your diary changing what sounds. And it sounds so basic, but that's what I mean, that when the game changes, your strategy has to change. And if you think that your same strategy that you've used for 10 years of marriage or 20 years of marriage is going to survive, it won't. And of course, if what's happened is deeper underlying problems have erupted, that is also something to not just push under the carpet and to really address it. And so if what's happened for people is that there's all these underlying things that have erupted like a volcano under that volcanic pressure of this situation, then that isn't about just trying to move on and figure it out. That requires a reassessment of a relationship. And if that means you're going separate ways, then that's a decision you have to take together. But if that means you're willing to make it work. But I often think that sometimes. And, Brendan, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, but I really feel that sometimes a lot of people break up over really weak arguments. There's not some, not. I'm not saying always, like, emotional and physical abuse is different or like cheating, and, you know, that kind of stuff is different. But I mean, when it comes down to what do we actually argue about sometimes I think when me and my wife argue about, we argue about the stupidest things in the world. And if we were to break up over that, it would be heartbreaking to me because they're not about anything, like, real. Oh, yeah.

I think some people don't realize that the levels of conflict that are happening. One of my mentors, Bill Wilmot, he was like one of the world's leading experts on mediation, and he was talking about conflict and that people think they're arguing about the content, you know, where the vacuum is. Did you do the garbage? The things. They think they're. They get mad about the things and they break up because of things. But what's really going on is exactly what you said. That's A deeper emotional level. So the three levels beneath that are relationship, which is, am I being respected in this relationship? Which, like, how does it work here? Identity, like, who am I in the world separate from you? Independence, interdependence. And then the thing that most people break up about, that they don't even know they break up about, is process, which is how. What's our process for managing conflict? What's our process? Like, how do we talk through and figure out things? It's how you work together and talk together that most people break up of. They don't know. They just blame the content. And so, yeah, I think being aware.

Of those things, that's beautiful. I couldn't agree with that more and more. There's that beautiful study by the Gottman Institute by John and Judy Gottman. Incredible. I love their research. I've made so many videos based on their research, and I recently interviewed them for my podcast, too. And they talk about how exactly what Brendan just said. They say that the number one skill that keeps relationships together is not date night. It's not movie nights. It's not beautiful vacations. It's knowing how to fight. It's learning how to manage a conflict, because conflict is always going to be there, and most of us don't have the skills or the emotional capacity to go there. And we kind of think that that's like, a bad thing. And I think that's part of it, Brendan, is that movies and music and media have created these negative viewpoints in relationships, like, you know, the end of a movie. And I'm sure this has been said a million times, but the end of a movie is always happily ever after. So it ends at the beginning of the wedding.

Right.

It's like they got married at the end of a movie, when for most love relationships, the marriage is the beginning of the relationship. And so you're watching it only up until the point two people fell in love and they were happily ever after. And I think that's planted this seed in our mind. Our relationships have to look like beautiful and wonderful and roses and this and that. And that is part of it. I love that I'm a hopeless romantic, and I love all of that stuff, but at the same time, it's. Relationships require, like, real honesty and transparency and talking things out that are tough and having those awkward conversations and silences sometimes. Yeah.

I think the best thing people can do if they've struggled in 2020 together, especially if they were together more because of COVID is to really observe how you've communicated with each other. Don't observe or think of just how did you feel? Because a lot of people, I don't like it. They might have a negativity bias there. Because when all that's in front of you, you start evaluating it very differently, very binary. It's like good, bad. So having a higher perspective, to use your word, or thinking like a monk is sometimes to just observe. Like, how have you been doing this? And is the way that we've been doing this really bringing us closer? Or is the way we've been doing this pushing us further apart? Or making us kind of focus on the idiosyncrasies that make us angry or impatient? And if you can observe with lens of is how we are doing this, bringing us closer together, which I love. What Jay said, presence, attention, intimacy is the way we do life together. Bring those things to the forefront more often. Good job. If not, it's time to get some more tools. Read a book like Think Like a Monk. Read John Gottman's book, one of my favorite books of all time, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work a Must. I think you can tell John, I think I bought 10,000 copies of that. I've given that to almost all our relationship seminars over the years. So it's necessary to do the work to get better at that. It's usually the person is not wrong. The process between the people is wrong. And you can.

Well said.

The process between the two people.

That is beautiful. Well said. That is that last thing you just said. There is exactly it. We think we're with the wrong person, but actually we just had the wrong process.

Hey, I hope you are enjoying this interview with Jay Shetty and I want to jump in here real quick with you and talk about a topic that's deeply, deeply important to me, that honestly has helped me in not only how I think, but how I focus, how I energize my mind. And many of you know that is by me. Taking HPX optimized our supplement for focus and energy. This has completely changed the game for me, as many of you know. You know, a lot of people consider me one of the most prolific people in this industry. And the reason that is because I can keep my mind sharp and sometimes I need help with that. I'm not a guy who goes to caffeine and coffee for that. For me personally, I wanted to take a nootropic, something that gave me a mental edge, that energized my mind, that helped me become more comfortable, creative, focused and productive. And you can get our Supplements right now back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com As you know, I rolled out three flagship products under the HPX brand to help you optimize your focus, your longevity, your energy, your immunity. And you can check out those new products again back in stock@hpx wellness.com. Last idea I'd love to talk about because I think this is a real struggle for people right now. And I'm particularly fascinated by how a monk would think about this because in my naivete about like being a monk, to me that would mean so much about being in the moment, being present, managing state, mind, body, spirit in the here and now, you know, be here now stuff. But you have three separate chapters in your book about what I consider future things like intention, purpose, service. And many of them are in visualization, seeing out, seeing into the future. And right now, dude, people can't, they don't know if their kids are going back to school, if they're homeschooling, they don't know, you know, are they gonna be able to travel for the holidays, do they get their job back? So when the future is super uncertain, how does the monk live in both spaces, present and future, in order to be able to have intention and define purpose?

Yeah, that's a beautiful question. And when you look at, when you look at material society and our world, we're always fixated on the output and the result and the goal. And the monk mindset is really focused on the input, the process and the day to day habits and the now. And that's not me saying we shouldn't have goals. I have goals too. But what I'm saying is that often that part can seem very uncertain right now. It's hard to set goals. Results are uncertain and the future is uncertain. And the monk mindset actually starts from the back and goes, wait a minute. It's actually our input, our intention, our current process that creates the future that we need and want. And yes, there are everyday things like whether kids are going back to school, whether our jobs are coming back, that and you know, me and Brendan were doing well this earlier. And Brendan as a fairly large company, I have a smaller company, but there's people that are dependent on me and families and things like that. And so when I think about all of that stuff, I realized that all I can get certain about is putting my next step forward. And I think it's kind of like when you're walking, you've become so comfortable walking, you don't even realize. But Actually, all you're doing is putting your next step right. You can't think about what's gonna happen a hundred steps time, because you haven't walked over the ground, then you don't know how the ground is gonna change. So for me, the monk mindset is, how do I just place this next step? Not perfectly, but how do I place this next step with my best intention, process and habits possible. And what does that require? That requires me to be connected internally to my internal guide. And what does that require? It requires me to find that stillness and space so I can actually listen. One of the things, Brendan, that you and I know is when you're traveling, if your partner wants to tell you something and you're living a hectic, busy life, your partner will be scared to actually say, brendan, Jay, I really need to tell you something. Because they just think you're too busy. And all over the place, your body and mind are the same way. Your body, your mind, your soul. They want to communicate with you, but they can't communicate with you if you're always rushing around and everywhere, all over the place. So the answers are not within me. The answers are within you. And they become more clearer as you become more silent, more still, and allow yourself to have that inner connection from your inner guide. And so what I'm trying to give you is the tools to get there from where. You know, I've had clients literally say to me, like, jay, when I look at that question in the book, that just changed the way I think about it, or when I just sat with something. And so there's a beautiful meditation that I talk about in the book, which is called a question meditation. It was probably one of my favorite techniques that I learned. And often when we ask questions, Brendan, to the world at least, or to the universe, they're often demands. They're not questions. Why is this happening to me? You know, that's not a question. That is a. That is pain. A question is the way you're asking me questions. Jay, I'm really curious, how does this work? It's what's known as a sincere request or a deep intention, right? And so a question meditation is I want you to sit with the question that causes you anxiety and pain, and I want you to ask it with sincerity, with genuineness, with love and understanding. And I want you to allow yourself to not force the question to come the answer to come to you in that moment, but allow yourself to discover the answer throughout the day and just sit with it. If you sit with it sincerely, I guarantee you there'll be someone, something that happens in the day, could be a message, a billboard, you see, and it will just shift the way you start seeing intervention, divine intervention everywhere in your life. And that's, you know, it really works. So I would just say sit with that question.

I love that. I love that. And I like. My favorite thing you said today in our conversation is about how our partners, sometimes they want to ask you for something, but they don't because they see you're so busy. And that's real inside, too. Your mind, your body, your heart and spirit are trying to say, hey, but you're so busy, they're not getting through. So, you know, to me, think like a monk is a lot of can you sit with yourself?

Yeah.

And allow the answers. Can you sit with yourself? Because in my mind, you know, monks are hanging out and they're opening up the space of possibility for insight, enlightenment, love, peace. And those things flow through. Not just because they say, my purpose is to go get peace. It's that I'm still enough, that that emerges.

Yes, exactly. And you can, you can hear in between the lines. And Brendon, it's almost like, you know, your, your journey and where it all began. When you had that terrible accident. Not terrible because you've reframed the experience which changed your life, but when you shared that with me, when you think about that moment, that is just. You know, I remember even when you shared on my podcast that you're in tears and it's still such a powerful moment with you. It's because you experienced stillness in the most extreme way. And we don't have to wait to have to experience a near death experience, to have stillness. But that stillness, you experience so much stillness and space and silence because you were so in your moment and in that body where everything was revealed to you and that's what you went through. And I'm not saying that you can manufacture that. That is very unique to Brendan. But what I am saying is if you sit with yourself every single day and be present with your body and mind, they will inform you. When people do this, they say to me, jay, I've had a backache for probably six months. I didn't notice it till now. Or Jay, you know what? Actually, I just really found this new idea that's going to change my business because the answers are there inside of you, but because we don't sit with ourselves enough. And there's a beautiful statement in the Buddhist tradition, the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, that says what movement does for Your body. Stillness does for your mind what movement does for your body. The energy, the expansion, the confidence. That's what stillness does for the mind.

I love that so much, brother. I love that so much. So for those who are really struggling in this time, in this season, please maybe listen to this episode again. Maybe take some more notes and maybe ask yourself, how can you sit with yourself and give yourself that time and that space a little bit now? Because so many people have kind of drowned themselves in distraction so they don't have to cope with what's immediately coming up. But I always tell people a lot of pain that comes up is at a superficial level and there's a depth of joy and gratitude and beauty beneath that. But you kind of got to mine for it. And the way that you mine for that depth of beauty and joy and peace is stillness. You go quiet, you allow that to come back to the surface of what's really important. And I'm telling you all, think like a monk. It's that field guide. If you've been really stressed or your mind has gotten the better of you in this last couple months, or your ego got the better of you, or your relationships fell apart, or you do feel like you've lost a little vision for your life, please read Think Like a Monk. Because I shared this with Jay in advance. The book helped me preparing and reading for this time. When I received the book and getting ready for him today and going back through all the chapters and all the notes and you can see all my questions on just baseline me. It brought me right back to the foundation of what's important for living a peaceful, joyful, fulfilling, spirited, service driven life from a different perspective. And everyone in the world seems to believe that we need a different perspective right now. So I think this book can be incredibly valuable on your journey. My so please make sure you listen to it and watch it and read it and just pay attention to what we did here today. Listen to Jay's podcast. It's called On Purpose. It's one of the very. I only have seven podcasts on my whole phone, literally only seven. And Jay's is one of them that I listen to. So please listen to On Purpose. It's incredible. Get Think Like a Monk. You can go to thinklikeamonkbook.com so think like a Monk book. Go there because he's offering some free resources that go along with the book, which of course I'll be promoting. I'm super pumped about as well. Jay, what would you love to share with people as they Head into the final months of 2020. We've been through so much. What would you give us here as some parting thoughts?

Yeah, the thing when you said that, that immediately came to my mind was the beautiful old tale and analogy of, of the butterfly, of the caterpillar in its cocoon becoming a butterfly. And there's that old story of how there's a caterpillar struggling to get out of its cocoon. And a young boy sees this and he sees the struggle and he sees the pain and he thinks to himself, I better help this caterpillar out because he needs to go off and become a big butterfly. And so the little boy breaks the cocoon and by breaking the cocoon doesn't realize the caterpillar also dies because the caterpillar needed that struggle in order to become this beautiful butterfly. And so I really believe that we've all been trapped in this cocoon for the past five months. And it's so easy to want to now rush out the other side and just break through and get on with it. But I would say that a more steady and more self development approach to it, which is like, let me learn through this time. Let me really gain every lesson during this time. Because that caterpillar becomes a beautiful butterfly at the other side every time. When they allow themselves to go through the process, but when they try and jump the process, skip the process, someone helps them break the process, it can end actually completely the opposite way. And so I think nature is always showing us how to deal with transformation and how to deal with pain and how to deal with negative situations and struggle. And no matter how struggling it is, the biggest mistake humans make is that we try and rush out of pain out the other side. And that's kind of what happened with a few weeks ago, at least in the United States, people had to rush out of their homes because five months have been too long. And then all the numbers went up again. And so that's what happens every time we try and rush out of a painful situation. It's almost like that's just build up that extra piece of resilience, that extra. And I know it's hard, I get it, I know how painful it is. But it's like that is going to create less pain in the future. And I think that's where we have to keep putting that yardstick of like we have to realize that it's better to go through that consistent, definite struggle that we're going through. But for a future that we really want to create and live in that.

Is the most hopeful thing, my friends. Beauty is on the other side of this. And being able to be at peace and sit through the struggle to emerge is who you really are supposed to become. That's, that's trust in the future. That's trust in fate. That's trust in something bigger than ourselves, that there's beauty coming.

Yeah. And I want to say one more thing, Brendan, if I can, because you just sparked another thought. And it's kind of the other side of it, because in the book I talk about how it's about training your mind for peace and purpose every day. And that's the peace part. That's how you find peace in difficult times. You recognize it's part of the process. But I always like to offer the service element too, which is the future part, the purpose part. I would think about the year 2030 or 2050, whichever year you want to meditate on 10 years time, 30 years time, and think about your kids or your grandkids or young people around you, or nieces and nephews. If you don't have kids, people around you, they'll be going to school and they'll be learning about 2020 in their history books. And let's say that one of their teachers assignments is you have to go back to your parents or grandparents and ask them what were they doing in 2020. So imagine now you're sitting at a dining table in 2030 or 2050. Your kids or your grandkids come up to your mom, dad, dad, mom, dad, dad, mom, mom, no, dad, no, mom, I don't know what the language is going to be then. And you just say to your parents, they say, what did you do in 2020? And whatever answer you want to give them in 10 or 30 years time, just do that today. And that will literally clear your mind. Because as long as you can give them an answer in 10 to 30 years time that you're going to be happy with, just say, you know what, we just stuck together and we got through it. You know what, I became an activist and I really supported this. You know what, we just doubled down on our business to make sure we didn't let go of anyone. And we made all of our teams were well taken care of. Whatever answer you want to give in 10, 20 years time, that question will give you so much clarity and that will be the thing that pulls you through this time rather than you feeling like you're pushing through it.

I love that, brother. Intention for the future. Intention for the future. So that you show up and the Questions you ask yourself in the future, you're happy with the answers. You know, my audience knows that's central to my whole. My whole teaching with Live Love matter is you're going to ask questions at the end of your life, so live your life intentionally so you're happy with those answers. And I love that we vibe on that together because we can be victims at this moment, right now, or we can be role models. We can go through this time and say, you know what? I'm proud of how I handled this. I'm going to know that I took the right next actions of integrity for myself during a really hard time. During a really hard time. I'm proud of how I handled it. Even if I was a hot mess a little here and a little hot mess there and I screwed up here, or I didn't, you know, I freaked out over there, I ultimately endured that year in a way that was purposeful and meaningful to me. Not because it gave it to me, but I chose those things. I allowed those things. I found those beautiful things through that process.

Yeah, absolutely.

Jay, you're helping us all do that, brother. So many of us, you know, you give us that wisdom, that inspiration every single day. Everyone, please think likeamonkbook.com it's such a good book, and I'm so proud of you that this is your first book because you hit on everything in personal development that I think is critical for people to actually grow. And you wrote with such eloquence and great metaphors throughout the book. I know everyone's gonna really love it. So, Jay Shetty, always spreading the wisdom, making wisdom go viral. Please listen to his podcast on purpose and follow this guy. He's a good human and he does great work in the world.

Thank you. And, Brendan, I want to thank you for genuinely being such a. Such a leader in the industry. And I really see you as that. And I really am grateful for people like yourself because I think it's really easy in any industry to turn it into a competition, to turn it into a hierarchy. And I really feel like you genuinely, like, I liked you before I met you and then I met you. Oh, this person's on another level. And I mean that. I'm saying that honestly. And, you know, your audience doesn't need to hear this. They already know it. But for me, I genuinely feel very grateful that the industry has leaders like yourself that can help guide and help people like me and help us learn and grow. And I really mean that because it's just a game changer to have people that believe in you, that invest in you, that have done this for longer than you and are open to mentoring and growing you. So you really are that. And I think that's going to be an incredible legacy that you leave and the impact on everyone who is in the industry now and will be in the future. So thank you for doing that. Honestly, from my heart.

Thank you my brother. And thank you for inspiring us and teaching us new ways and most importantly, teaching us not new ways just to make things viral, but to make sure wisdom is attached to that. Because we need this wisdom and this peace and a different way of approaching the turmoil of the world. And you're doing that with this book and your work. So everyone again, thinklikeamonkbook.com check out Jay Shetty's podcast and share. Listen to my podcast right now, bot over and subscribe to the last 10 episodes of On Purpose with Jay Shetty because that actually helps him. And you'll find as always, his episodes are incredibly inspiring. So Jay Shetty, my brother. Thank you brother.

Thanks Brandon. That was amazing.

All right, my friend, I hope you enjoyed my episode with Jay Shetty. Make sure you go grab his book and listen. If you need help in going to the next level, please join me at the top of the month. On the first of the month, with thousands of achievers around the world working on our lives, I teach a brand new personal development seminar live online every single month. Then we do breakout groups to share your monthly goals, what you're working on, what you need help with. So if you wanted to get unstuck, you know, break through any emotional blocks, determine the strategies and habits you need to reinvent yourself this year if you want to know and dive deeper into how you're going to implement, you know, our research backed habits that help you increase confidence, improve life satisfaction, change the quality of your relationships, increase your career impact and income. If you're trying to figure out how to stick to the decisions you made, stick to the habits that you've made. Become more productive, become more self disciplined, increase your motivation. All of that needs consistency, my friends. And you know that. You know that. So if you feel like you've been lacking that focus or that discipline or that productivity or even just that confidence and courage and you need to start the month off on a bang every single month. Start off strong. Start off with clarity. Start off with motivation. Start off with some fire in your belly again, some research backed tools to help you go along. Then make sure you get into my coaching program. Just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com and join us for the first of the month. We call it Growth Day, where we all get together from around the world and we grow. Never before has personal development such a priority. Never before has wellness been such a priority. Never before has community and consistency been such a priority. So go to hpxcoaching.com, join me. Let me be your coach through these upcoming months so we can get your life back, get you back on track, and help you achieve the future that you've always desired. Go to HPX coaching right now. Hpxcoaching.com.