What My Parents Taught Me

Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard. And welcome to another episode of the Brendon Show. You know, mom and dad, this is the house I grew up in. And they worked really hard. Like, really, really hard. And yet we didn't have a lot. And the house was difficult. But here's what I'll tell you. Because I tell this story all the time, and people don't catch on to it. Us kids, we didn't know we didn't have anything because the whole neighborhood didn't have a lot. And I don't think that we didn't have anything because that's not true. Because my mom all year worked like side jobs or her job. And all of her money she saved just to buy us Christmas presents each year so that we didn't know that we were struggling. Like, as a kids, you don't really realize when you know your mom or your parents are cutting all the coupons. You don't really know what that means sometimes when it's just always about the coupons. Or maybe you don't realize when the heat goes out and they can't fix it, it's financial. Maybe you don't realize when that kid is going by on that nicer bike and they buy you not the new bike, that they couldn't get you the new bike. Cause they couldn't afford the new bike. Like, sometimes as kids, you don't know that's going on if you're surrounded by love. And we were surrounded by love. My mom and dad loved us kids, loved us. Both incredibly humble and giving people. And, you know, the stuff that they went through in their life made me want to be a good person. It made me want to tell other people to be good people. If you've ever studied my work before, so much of what I teach is like, we have to learn to respect other people, which I think is a message. As you guys have been with me for a while, you've heard me hammering this year. If you've been on the road with me, it's like, we have to learn to respect other people. Because what's happening in the culture right now is everyone's so quick to judge and make snap judgments and make accusations and blame and ridicule. Cause you know what? Now people equate intelligence with cynicism. Who can make, like on the nighttime hosts who can say the funny thing in a perfectly cynical way that it's funny. We admire and celebrate that comedic cynic. And so that's now admired and celebrated and at the same time we're constantly on television, at home, in our schools. We're cutting people down. We're cutting people down. But I'm a student of history. I mean, I learned Booker T. Washington taught me there's two ways to exert strength. One is pushing down and the other is pulling up. And I said, I want to be a pull up guy. I'm going to help people. Even as people. I watch people disrespect my mom and my dad growing up. You know, mom, English is her third or fourth language. She was born in Vietnam and her father was involved in the French Vietnamese conflict. So he was from France, the Met. My grandmother had my mother and a brother and then he was killed there by a grenade that was rolled into a cafe. So she never really knew her dad. But France had a progressive child of war program, so that their soldiers who were killed, they helped the kids or the family that they had in that other country. So my mom and grandma and whole family went up to France and mom went into boarding schools where she was mistreated and finally decided to get the heck out of there. So when she was a teenager, went to America in 19, 20 years old, came to the US, met somebody, fell in love and he beat the crap out of her. So she got abused and beat up, which she allowed because she thought it was love. And then she had my brother David and said, I don't want this son ever being in this abusive environment. Left that person. Then met my father as my father was coming up the steps of where my father lived, who had also just finished fighting in Vietnam. And dad came home and was climbing up the apartment stairs. I could see my little brother. I wasn't there. Obviously I wasn't born yet. But he ran to my little brother who was kind of running around. He said, where's your mom? And so she's upstairs. And then went up and met my mom and they fell in love. And then he was from Montana, he grew up on a ranch in Montana, moved the family back because he didn't like the noise of Washington D.C. and wanted to be around family. And Montana moved us back. And then we all were raised in Montana. Well, two people with unique experiences. Mom not having, you know, English as her first language, she starts getting jobs here and there and here and there and here and there. By the time I get into like high school, she's working at a. The biggest hospital in our state and she's working as ward secretary and, you know, around a lot of hospitals, you got a lot of Ego with doctors and nurses who've done so much education. And she's working, but she can't get all the words right because they're hard medical words. And she's got an accent. We're in a small town in Montana. People with accents not always treated so nice. Different people, right? So they're mean to her. And so I come home. I have all these memories coming home from middle school or high school and my mom on the couch crying because these women would pick on her all day. And then I would go with dad to work and, you know, like the shadow. Do you ever get to go with your parents to work? And how you all remember how magical that was if you ever did it? So. Especially if you got two loving parents. I was blessed. People say, brendan, you're so lucky. I don't think I'm lucky about marketing. I don't think I'm lucky about coincidences, because I believe in timing. I believe. I have a high faith that we're all supposed to be here right now for wherever you're at in your life, for whatever reason, you're supposed to be in this room. I don't know why, but I believe there is a reason for that. I don't think it's me. I think it's something for you. You're here for a reason, in this room this weekend. I don't know why. I hope you find it. I hope you find it. Yeah. And so for me, I go to work with dad, and he ran the dmv, the Department of Motor Vehicles, right? How many of you love going to the dmv? And they would go there, and my dad would have to fail people because, you know, a lady would run up on the curb or hit a stop sign or blow through a stop sign, or he'd have to say, I'm sorry, I can't test you today because you forgot your Social Security card or, you know, your license or whatever. And they would scream at him, and they would spit at him, and they would literally just throw a huge adult fit in the dmv. Or they'd have to wait and they'd scream at everybody, all the people. But the thing is, we don't know about the dmv, is it's terribly underfunded, terribly understaffed, completely trapped by red tape. And the people who are working there are angels, because you wouldn't do that job. It's a tough job. But my dad. They'd scream and they'd scream and they'd spit and they'd threaten Him. They'd literally threaten his life and his family. Tons of times there were people who would kick him out of the car when it was moving. Like, it was unbelievable experience. And I remember seeing them treat my dad. I was like, don't you know that's someone's dad? Don't you know that person is hurt? They got wounded in the war? Don't you know that person fought for your freedoms to even drive? This person did three tours in Vietnam. I also want to say, don't you know that's a Marine? And he. I was like, don't f with my dad. He will jack you up, right? He carried one of those little Kubatons around. You know what those are? A little stick like this that they often put, like, on a ring. It just looks like a little, you know, a little wooden stick. If you ever see someone carrying around with a wooden stick like this, do not f with them. Cause they will take that little thing and just put you on the floor like, oh, God, what happened to me? So my dad was just a weapon. And I thought, how could they treat him like that? But the best gift that I got from that was like, I never wanted to treat people bad. I didn't want to see people hurt. Like, my mom and dad were hurt by these people's means, words. But I also got to see my mom and dad, despite all of it, bring joy, you know, dad and mom, my mom, you meet her happiest go, lucky person you ever met. Dad, same way, just to, you know, early. He was really hard on us. Too hard Marine out of military. Way too hard on his kids. Then as he got older, he kind of became like a big Buddha, you know, he had a big belly because my mom makes that amazing French food. And we just eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. But then he became just like, so chill. Everything asked dad, hey, what should I do this? Oh, just be yourself. What should I do this? Just do your best. Hey, dad, what should we do this about? Ah, you know, just take care of your sister. You know, just always giving these great pieces of advice. My dad ultimately taught me seven things that my mom also taught me. My mom taught me that, you know what? Just bring love into the world. Just love other people, love your family, love other people, make the world a better place. My dad, it was so simple. Be yourself, be honest, do your best, take care of your family, treat people with respect, be a good citizen, follow your dreams. How many people resonate with anything I just said in the last couple minutes? So let me ask you this. What did your parents teach you? If you're ready to take your life to a whole new level, make sure you grab my book, High Performance How Extraordinary People Become that Way. It's available on Amazon right now. And when you order your copy, you're really supporting my channel and the message. And you're also getting a book that will reveal to you 20 years of my research into what is it that helps people go to a new level of success in their life? What does it really take? What habits are proven to help you reach long term success in your career, your health, your personal life, your relationships? It's called High Performance Habits How Extraordinary People Become that Way. It's available on Amazon right now.