In this motivational talk, Brendon Burchard challenges the cultural stigma that frames quitting as failure. He argues that staying in a job, career, relationship, or habit that no longer energizes you leads to drudgery and a loss of purpose. Burchard explains that the internal feeling of “I need to change” is itself the sign you’ve been waiting for. He urges listeners to listen to that intuition, give themselves permission to quit, and create a concrete “D‑Day” – a specific date on which they walk away and begin a new chapter. He outlines practical steps: set a realistic deadline (often six months), identify the skills, support, and resources needed, and commit to the plan without waiting for perfect timing or external approval. Throughout, he stresses free will, courage, and trust in one’s ability to figure things out, positioning quitting as a courageous act that opens space for new opportunities and a more engaged, fulfilling life.
Questions this video answers
August 23, 2014.
Six months.
Three years.
Arianna Huffington.
Chapters
Have you ever wanted to quit a job or quit a career or quit a school or leave town and go to another city or, you know, stop doing a hobby or something you've done for so long and you're known for doing that, but you're like, I just don't want to do this anymore. But you couldn't quit. I mean, psychologically you're just like, I can't stop doing that. And you really wanted to, but you just couldn't. Or do you know anybody who needs to do that? You know, you know, someone who, you know, they need to leave a relationship or they need to leave a situation that's not healthy for them, but they just can't, even though they want to. Let's talk about that. Because so many people have a big stigma about quitting and it prevents them from living a fully charged life. You know, they're going through their day with drudgery or dread or they just feel like they're a cog in the machine and not really feeling alive and joyous. They don't feel like they're really connected or engaged with what they're doing, but they feel like they have to keep doing it. And so they stay on this treadmill that never ends. And at some point it becomes miserable. And we have to in our society be get over this belief that quitting is necessarily a bad thing. I know that's crazy for me to be saying, right? The achievement guy, the self help guy, here with the show and all of my books on personal development and growth, where so much of it is really about setting a vision, being disciplined, working towards it and busting your ass until that dream comes true. So I'm not known for saying, hey, quit, but if something isn't right in your life and it's not bringing you that charge of engagement and enthusiasm each day, making you feel like it's something that's meaningful and it's fulfilling to you, then yeah, you're darn right you should look at quitting that. You know, so many people have this big stigma to it, but it's necessary sometimes to stop doing the things that are not right for us so that we can open up some white space so that the universe can throw in some new opportunities or we can go grasp some new things. Because as you've heard me probably say before, only two things are going to change your life. Either a something new comes into your life. A new opportunity, a new dream, a new goal, a new desire, a new person, a new job, you know, whatever it is, something New comes in. You win the lottery, and that changes the course of your life forever. Or something new comes from within you. It's not external, it's internally something new. A new courage, a new vision, a new belief, a new desire, a new willingness to go out there and try something new that will be fulfilling for you. So it's okay if something is not right? If something is wrong, the goal should be, you know what? Let's change that. If you really take an introspective look at that and you know it's not right for you, then change needs to come. And it needs to come sooner than you're probably prepared for. Because what the world usually does is they say, you know what, Brendan? I need a sign before I can change. You know, I know I want to change it, but I'm waiting for a sign. Well, you know what the sign is? The sign is that you're waiting for a sign to change. That's the sign. If you've been wondering, should I change? If you're like, I'm waiting for something to happen and that will change, that's the signal. That's your brain saying, hey, dummy, this isn't right. Keep looking out for something to change right now because we need a new reason. We need an excuse. That's the sign. The sign is the sign. So if you have any part of you, you're like, I need to change. And I'm hoping something comes in to change my life. No, no, no. You gotta listen to your internal intuition, to your body, to your soul saying, man, I have to change. And it has to be, I have to change. You're going to have to change your situation. No white knight is going to come in. No big, fancy new job opportunity might sweep in and change everything for you unless you're out there looking for them. Yeah, some people get lucky. But, you know, the number of people who are lucky in the world is this finite, tiny little strand of people who are only lucky once in a while. The reality is, most of us are out there working for our dreams, and I know you're doing that, too. So if something's not right, be okay with it. Be okay with quitting. You know, I love this quote from Arianna Huffington. A friend of mine who, you know, with the founder of Huffington Post, she says this great thing, she says, sometimes the best way to finish a project is to quit. You know, we have this type A behavior in us that says, well, I have to perfect this thing, or I have to get these things just right before I can leave. It, you know. No, you don't. Not everything has to be perfect before you leave something if it's just not right. I mean, yes, leave it with as much grace as you can, but get out sooner than later. No one at the end of their life says, gosh, I wish I hadn't changed my life for the better so soon. What they say is, I wish I hadn't waited so long to follow my dreams. I wish I hadn't waited so long to approach that person I wanted to approach. I wish I hadn't waited so long to learn those skills, to develop that new thing, to start that project. It's about beginning. It's about beginning sooner than you're probably ready for. And that's where this idea of courage comes into life. Knowing that, you know, you might not know how it's going to turn out. You might not have any idea if it's. If it's going to be something that's as good as you have now. And that's where real courage and trust and faith comes into play that says, you know what? You're competent. You will figure it out. Right? The first rule of life, I always say, is have vision for your life. The second rule is trust in your ability to figure things out. You'll figure it out. Trust in that. So here's a couple things not to do. One, don't wait for the perfect timing. The perfect timing is never going to come because there's no such thing as perfect. There's never going to be a day where you wake up and you're like, this is the perfect day for me to finally change. All the things have lined up. My inbox is completely clear. I have nothing to do today. There's no distraction. The kids are finally, perfectly on their own. Oh, my gosh. My husband or wife is finally perfect on their own. Everybody is healthy around me. Everything is just perfect. The day is sunny and bright and oh, my gosh, look at all this gold. It just happened to appear in front of me. It's not going to happen like that. You need to say, okay, there is never going to be a perfect time. So you need to set a D day, literally a day in which you say, that's the day. And then you need to marshal all of your motivation, all of your ability to learn and develop skills as fast as you can before that day. But when that day comes, that's D day. That's the day that you go. That's the day that you quit. And that has to be a real date for you and mark it on the calendar. That's the day you quit the thing. That's the day you walk out. That's the day that you leave that situation that is not healthy or satisfying or good for you or your soul or the people around you that you have to have that date, it has to be scheduled or you'll never do it. You'll just keep saying, oh, you know, one day things are gonna be. You know, the people who say one day, they end up at the end with a collection of days that were so far from perfect that they're in a state of misery now. They never landed in their. In the land of their dreams because they were always marching in something that was miserable to them. Right? At some point, they. The only way that life changes is that you change your course and don't wait for a perfect day. So what's your date? What's your date? Some people will say, well, Brendan, my date's five years from now. Or the ultimate say, you know, when the kids graduate high school or when they finish college, or now when they get the jobs, or now when they move out of the couch, whatever. The thing is that people come up with, no, no, you need to have the date and that's the date. Just like when we had to enter World War II here in the United States. We had D Day, Normandy. We knew we were gonna go. The, the weather was not perfect, the days were not perfect, the lead up to it was not perfect. We didn't have all the supplies, we didn't have everything we needed. But there was something that was calling us to serve and there was a critical crisis and we needed to go and we made it happen. That date was real and it had to happen. You need to have a date. What is it? If it's more than three years out? You're fooling yourself. There is nothing that you cannot significantly change. I mean, complete transformation in your life three years out from now. I mean, if you just thought about it, think about all the knowledge, the skills, the social support you could set up in three years personally. Maybe this isn't for you, but this is what I tell all my clients, and many of you know my clients, literally millions of dollars in exchange for coaching, for training, for working with me personally and able to do that. I tell them all, they got six months. That's it. There's a. If something needs to change in their life, I'll let them set a six month deadline and that's it. Because you know what in six months mean? Trust in your ability you could learn so much in six months. You can develop so many new skills in six months. You can interview so many new people in the new area you want to change into in six months. If you got dedicated, if it had to happen in six months, I mean, if your butt was on the line, you'd make it happen. There's nothing beyond that six months. Everything beyond six months in our lives is an excuse. I mean, come on, we can all change radically in six months. It's not popular to say, because everyone wants to say no. It's going to take years of therapy and years of medication. And, you know, maybe that's true for some people with psychological or biological disorders that prevent them from being in full grasp of their life. But for the vast majority, there's an unbelievable amount of conscious control in their life, and there's an unbelievable amount of discipline and strength in them if they would unlet it. So what is your date? What is it you want to change? What skills would you have to develop by that date? What social support and structure would you have to develop by that date? What resources would you have to go acquire, learn, borrow, or build from before that date? Without that type of thinking, without that D day, without that plan, it's just gonna be wishful thinking. And most people go through so much of their life wishful thinking, then they look back and they're like, I lost a decade of their life, of their life. So take it seriously, you know, and don't wait for, not only that, perfect timing, don't wait for permission. You don't need anybody to give you permission to change your life. If you've been waiting for someone to give you permission, I have good news. The universe and God already gave it to you. It's called free will. It came with you at birth for free. You didn't have to buy it. It was just right there in your pocket. Now it's just about, why don't you take it out, use it. Free will is the ultimate gift. You don't need the permission of anybody to change your life. What we always tell ourselves, oh, I need, you know, I need my spouse to prove. I need. I need this person to prove. I need these 50 people to prove. And I'm not saying that we can't attempt to enroll people and enlist them in our own visions and our dreams. And I can't. I'm not saying that often. We're not all on the same journey together, right? You and your spouse and your partner, your loved ones, your kids. Look, you're all on the same journey together. But this idea that everybody needs to approve of every single move that you make is ridiculous. Maybe you're in a career and you're known for something, and you're thinking, I can't change this career because, you know my customers won't like it. I can't change my message right now because these people know me for that. You know, I work with some of the world's top celebrities and tell you what, everyone can change on a dime. Everybody can change their message. Everybody can change what they're about if it's more meaningful to them and purposeful and true for them. Follow your truth. Not the permissions given by a fickle society. Follow your truth. And last I'll say this. You know, sometimes all this, it does require a lot of courage to set that date, to work towards it, to know you're gonna get resistance from other people towards that. But what's the choice? What's the alternative? The alternative is to live a life that's not your own. And that's ultimate misery, the ultimate feeling in life that everybody's after this charge, this internal spark. Some people might call it happiness. Some people call it fulfillment. Some people just call it enthusiasm or excitement or engagement. Whatever it is for you that comes from doing things on a regular basis that you're engaged with, that you care for. And if you're in a position where that's not your reality, it's time to change. It will require trust. It will require faith. It will require an extraordinary amount of courage. And those things you already have. Why don't you go out and show the world those things? Why don't you go out and show yourself those things? It's time for a change. It's to time. Time to feel better about your life and do more of the things that you care about and that you love. If you needed permission, I just gave it to you. You really didn't need me to say anything. What you needed was to hear it and to sit down and go, what's that date? And so what happens when you get to that date? Is it going to be easy? No. But why is everyone so after this comfortable, easy life, you know, life, that growth, that maturity, that enlightenment, that transformation, that. That zest, that joy, it comes from struggle. It comes from working through things and growing and learning and competence. Let's celebrate learning again. It's okay. Set that date. Don't go. Oh, that day is gonna be so scary. It's gonna be, wow. That day is gonna start a new journey for me. I'm gonna learn so much. Welcome the struggle. Welcome the hardship. Know that it's not gonna be easy. See, in my life I go about it, I'm like, you know what? This is gonna be hard. I don't know how this is gonna out turn, but I'm gonna be the best of who I am to it. I'm gonna be the best of my intentions. I'm gonna show up for it, be fully present and engaged with it. And I'll do my best. And I don't always do awesome and neither will you. You're gonna hit that date and it's gonna be a hot mess. It's gonna be sloppy, scary, uncertain, unknown, and God, it's gonna be great. Set your date, my friends. Go work towards it with verve and just passion and fire and excitement. Because on that day, things will start to be so much better. You'll start to feel that aliveness and engagement with life again. You'll start to feel the charged life.
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