Workout: You Are Responsible

This is what we really fear, responsibility. We fear that we are actually very responsible for our lives. It's like that great Marianne Williamson quote you've ever heard, right? We're not so much afraid that we're inadequate. We're actually fearful of our full power because what would that really bring out in us? What would that say if we were fully responsible for the outcomes in our life? What would it say if we had more power than we were actualizing in life? That's scary. People are scared of responsibility. And in very tactical ways, like if I said to you, hey, I'm going to make you responsible for, let's say you own a small business and I say, I'm going to make you responsible for 50 more employees and all of their mortgages. A lot of people, oh my God, right? Total terror to be responsible for other people's lives, right? Or other people's mortgages or other people's whatevers. And so responsibility is scary to people, right? I mean, look at any, any great personal development teacher at the base of everything they teach is personal responsibility or what used to be called self reliance, that sense of personal power that says, I am in command of my life doesn't mean you're in command of everything that happens to you in life, but you are in command of your responses. And what we are scared of is that we won't show up as our best self to deal with those demands, right? We're scared of taking full responsibility for everything because what would that say about our lives? But I take full responsibility for everything in my life. It doesn't mean I believe I caused everything. That makes sense. So law of attraction, people, calm down. One second. Take a breather. I'm not saying you attracted cancer, babe. I'm not saying you attracted that mean person. I'm not saying you attracted the bankruptcy. Look, bad things happen to good people. If you haven't read it, it's a great book, How Good People Deal with Bad Things. But I would also share with you that ultimately we are responsible for our responses. We are responsible for the people who we become. Maybe you didn't ask for that. Cancer. You are responsible for how you are going to deal with that. And for those who go, well, that's too flippant to say. I'm like, I just remind you, go back and read some Viktor Frankl man's search for meaning. He said it best. He said, the last of the human freedoms is the ability to choose one's own freedom attitude. They can take away everything else, but they can't take away how you respond in mind. And when you know that that gives you great power and responsibility in life. And so when you feel like a victim, this is one of your great fears. You might not call it that, you might not recognize it. And I just go, oh, you're scared of responsibility. I say this to people all the time who say, brendan, I have a big dream. I go, have you told your family, your friends, the people around you what your big dream is? Well, no. I said, well, you're dealing with this and you're dealing with this. You're scared that by putting it out there, you won't be able to handle the pressure, you won't be able to handle the demands. That's scared of. That's fear of responsibility. I'm fearful that I won't be able to be response able to deal with the stuff. And I'm just like, there's a tomorrow you can learn. Like, I have extreme personal power because I have hope. I have extreme personal power because I have optimism for tomorrow. I have extreme personal power because I look at the areas of my life on a weekly basis and I say, where have I been stuck? Where am I fearful? What can I do this next week as the next right action of integrity, Everything we've talked about, because here you flip all of these, watch what happens in your life, right? You flip rejection to doing the things that will bring greater connection in your life. Watch the quality of life go up. You stop worrying about what will be ruined and you start remembering that there's always a tomorrow and you have hope and optimism and you just always ask, okay, there's not ruin. What's my next right action of integrity? And you keep moving forward even through the disasters of life. Watch the courage that enters your heart there. Watch the confidence that comes in when you keep moving through the storm. Guess what happens when regret is free? You let that go, you're gone. You're not worried about the regret of if I do this, maybe things will turn out bad. And you said, okay, what would I need to do so I don't experience regret at the end of my life? Well, what positive actions could I take to live a life of my own? So I don't have regret, so I'm proud of my life. Because pride on the other side of regret feels good then responsibility. What would Instead of saying, well, what if I can't handle it or what if I'm not responsible? You said, you know what? I'm totally responsible for this. I am able to shape this guide this, change this, make it better. Now you're really stepping in your personal power. And when you move through these things on just a very tactical weekly basis, you're aware of these fears, and you start flipping them. You start flipping them, you start flipping them, you start flipping them, you get in this rhythm, and all of a sudden you say, wow, I feel really courageous in my life. And that's when you start making your greatest contributions.