Laughter, Friends, Mental Health and more!!!

Another warning for you, recording is now and there is no editing. I don't take the time to do it.

I don't either.

People are like, "This is good," and I'm like, "Thank you." All right, so welcome everybody. It is Suicide Prevention Saturday, and why is that? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides. So it is Saturday night, 9 PM Eastern, and that's what we're doing. And this is prerecorded because I'm at a dinner right now and I appreciate you all, but I'm having dinner right now, hopefully winning some guns.

Actually.

Yeah, exactly. You can donate it to me.

Okay.

No, that's, that's a straw purchase. We don't do that.

Oh yeah.

You can't get guns. It's kind of a bummer. It's like you can get someone a gift certificate for a gun, but yes. So, um, yeah. So she's starting on Saturday because at our 3-gun death week, you're about are suicides. And if we want to save lives, truly, we need to talk about mental health. Today, tonight, I have brought my friend Andrea on. Andrea? Andrea?

Both work. I just call her my friend.

She's actually in my address book as Andrea Friend. We had that conversation before. Well, my father always had that, um, like if you opened up his address book, it'd be like Hey, oh, John, you know, so that's where we got our hay from. Or electrician Jorge, or whatever it was. So yes, I've never been good. And we all know we have filing cabinets, right? And nobody's filing cabinet is done the same way as anybody else. They might be alphabetical, but the alphabetical stuff may or may not make sense.

Well, I have notes everywhere because I have people that have the same first name.

Yes, this is why dudes call each other by last name. Because there's 5 million Davids, there's 5 million Johns, but there's only so many Dolios and, well, Smith, then, you know, that's a challenge. But yes, so yes, that's common. Yeah, there's a lot of folks.

Everybody has Millers.

And what was it, Jess? Jess is also a very— yeah, so I got a lot of Jesses in my book. I'm surprised I don't have that one a lot. All right, so why have I invited Andrea on? Because she's smart and she knows stuff. And we're going to talk about mental health and the challenge of children. And we're going to talk about just the importance of appreciating and gratefulness and thankfulness and having good friends and how important this actually is. So, anyway, uh, do you want to do— do you have your own little like 30-second mini commercial of the stuff that you do with kids and coaching and that sort of thing? I'm asking. If you don't, I'll start going blah blah blah.

No, no, it's okay. So, so what I do for kids— well, I, I am a mother and I have 3 little kids and I homeschool them. Um, but for what I do for kids, actually what I do is I host the Mamas Podcast where I work to elevate parental, parental leadership and, and kind of put the spotlight on other parents Like me, she had me on just last week.

You should go check that out, I'll put the link below. Okay, go ahead.

Exactly, and then the other thing I do with the G7, that's a one-to-one coaching program where I basically dive in and help people understand why they do what they do and how to raise their cap or their ceiling to their performance, whether that's personal or business, whatever that is, but basically literally upgrade your life. That's really what it's all about. And I always say it's for the top 7% because it's uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. It can be painful, and you have to be willing to like actually look at why you do what you do and face how you got— like own, take ownership of how you got where you are in your life. So that whole program is about that. You can find me on my YouTube channel or LinkedIn.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff on LinkedIn. I was actually reading some of your reviews this morning. Oh, you know, I'm trying to prep for the interview, trying to pretend like I've got my stuff together. Yeah, because I fake it till I make it, baby. So yeah, so, but you've got tons of really sweet, kind reviews, so go check out her LinkedIn, and I'll try to remember to put the link here or there. Now last week we talked, well, just, yeah, okay, it's pre-recorded, so it's gonna be hard to figure this out, but anyway, the weekend of daylight savings time, we just finish that. So on Saturday night we talked about the importance of sleep for your health in general, right? In order, sleep— pretty much every nutritionist out there, every coach out there says sleep is number 1, nutrition is number 2, exercise number 3. And so here we are just after doing the sleep thing. We're gonna be talking about nutrition next week, which when you guys are watching it will have been last week, so you know, just help me with my timelines. Um, so yeah, so this is week number 3, but sleep is important, nutrition is important. We were just talking about kids and health because my 2 kids are home sick today and hers are not. But nutrition is super important and super important. And like the, the conversation we had before we came on was just how it's like people think your kids are healthy because they're homeschooled.

Yeah, we get that a lot. They think that my kids are really healthy because they're isolated from all the germs and all that, and that's not accurate. The first thing I'm going to say, number one, is that the stress level— yeah, yeah, nutrition is going to tie in— the stress level is greatly reduced because my kids are not dealing with what's happening in our school system right now, and they're not dealing with having to get up early in the morning, that rush to get get into school, get to the bus, whatever, you know, whatever way you're getting them to school. And then at home, coming home at the end of the day, that whole decompression thing that most kids have to deal with, the parents need to figure out. Parents usually— this is the scenario, the way it really works. Yeah, parents are coming home from work, they're picking up their kids, or they're trying to beat the bus home. The kids are stressed out from their school day, the parents stressed out from the work day, and all that comes together, and a parent needs to step up into the leadership and try to help their children untangle what happened in their school day when they don't necessarily always know what happened in their school day. Now, my kids and I used to live through that. We don't anymore. So what I noticed is markedly their health has gotten better, taking away that stress and taking away the, the— we're gonna say the structures of the school system from their schooling. So we still do lots of academic stuff, but it isn't presented in the same way. For example, I don't do testing. People freak out. Oh, you don't do testing? No, I don't test because it teaches them to be stressed and measure their identity against something that's outside of themselves. So we do measures. And when I first introduced that, my daughter said to me, "Mom, is a measure like a test?" And I said, "No." Um, what a measure is, is to see where you are and to then see where I can step forward and help you with that. So stress is like number 1. Number 2 diet, or maybe they're the same, I don't know, but they're like way up there.

Well, so I mean a lot of people have been talking about like the brain-gut continuum here, and it's like it's new news if you watch the news. However, if you happen to have ever been anything like, oh, I don't know, really old places or cultures, like I don't know, we're talking Choctaw, and you're gonna have to say all the words. Yeah, Choctaw.

Okay, so she wants to know my tribal history now. So I hail from the Ute, the Choctaw, and the Anishinaabe. And for those of you that go, what the heck is the Anishinaabe? Because that's the one I get the most. The Anishinaabe is our name for Ojibwe or Chippewa, which is also the same tribe. But depending on which side of the Canada-US border or how close you are to that Canada-US border, what we're known as.

Right. So, but still, I'm talking about cultures that have seventh generation sort of thinking. And for those of you who don't know, seventh generation is that the idea is that what I'm doing today, how I'm impacting my kids, my grandkids, my great-grandkids, my great-great-grandkids, and that's more of the thinking of tribal nations generally. Chinese medicine is all about the whole body. And that one's really, I mean, it's written down to be even more ancient. And it's just like, but no, the medical field has just decided, oh wait, they had something there when we're talking about brain health gut continuum. And it's like, yes, there's a reason we're having so much challenges with anxiety, depression, all sorts of mental illnesses that people are dealing with. And it's just like our food system, our nutrition, the food that we eat. So this is like, you know, the suicide prevention stuff. Why, how does this all go together? Is because the more we know what affects how we're feeling, the stronger we can be to make little tiny differences. One of the best things I've ever done is like, and it's simple and hard all at the same time, right? Because simple does not mean easy, and that's a challenge. We all want the easy button, we do. I know I want the easy button.

But we simplify to amplify, right?

Yeah, we simplify to amplify, is that what it is? Okay, I'll have to remember that. But if you cut sugar out, now ideally do it for like 30 days, but like an alcoholic, let's try one. Okay?

Completely out. That means you have to read the ingredients.

No, no, no, no. I'm not like her. Don't listen to her. No. So this is the problem is completely out, her, the read everything that is there and drive yourself insane that this is impossible or—

No, it's not impossible.

It's not impossible. It's challenging.

You just stay in the meat and veg aisle.

Well, no, actually my nutritionist taught me a very simple, easy trick, right? All you have to do when you walk into the grocery store, you just stay on the outside where all the refrigerated places are. Don't go to the freezer because that's where the ice cream is.

But—

Or don't go down the center aisle to the produce again. No, no, just walk around the edges. The fish and the meat and the eggs and the the dairy and all of that, just walk around the edges and only shop, you know, walk through the produce aisle. That's, you know, you get your veggies and stuff, but that's like the easiest way. But one change, and this is the thing with change, is that just try one thing at a time. Don't try to do everything. However, like Andrew's saying, read the instructions, read the ingredients, and I'm like, How about this? I'm not going to have cornflakes with Coke this morning. You're just tempting me with that story.

You so are tempting me. Okay.

Well, that was a joke in college. Like, that's breakfast. Cornflakes with Coke.

Why not?

But that's just totally like the sugar monster, right? So back to nutrition. My bad. I mean, we're still talking nutrition, but it's just like making one little tiny change improving your gut health and understanding what that means without getting into the whole probiotics, prebiotics and everything and overwhelming. It's like make itty-bitty small sustainable changes over time.

What— one change, I agree with you, I think it's actually really difficult for people to do a full spectrum shift, so you pick one thing at a time and keep with it. The other thing that a lot of people don't know is that if you take 1 teaspoon of sugar, just 1, 1 teaspoon, and a can of Coke has how many grams?

Oh, it's got lots. It's like when they show it at the health food store, they always have like packets and packets and they just keep going to the floor.

Right, and people think, well, okay, I'll take the diet, but then we find out that all those things like aspartame are really bad for your health, right?

And your brain still has the sweet reflex to it even though it's not actually sugar.

Yes, boom, exactly. So then you have all those, all those data points and then keep in mind that one 1 teaspoon of sugar, you can tell them, they need to know. Yeah, yeah, tell them. 1 teaspoon of sugar will cut your immune system function in half for up to 12 hours after you consume it. What? Just 1, just 1. And now you think of the typical Snickers bar, right? You know, or even the bite size, that has way more than 1 teaspoon.

Wait a second, okay, ready? Oh, look, I got leftover from, uh, from the bar.

That's more than 1 teaspoon, I can tell you, because I bake all the time with my kids, okay? So, so that's huge, right? And that's kind of terrifying for people. How do we even begin that? One of the, one of the go-tos that I actually recommend to people, it's not my protocol, and I'll be frank that when I really get on my discipline protocol, most people don't want to touch it because I'm a little extreme.

But it's okay. We accept those of you who are nuts. I am. Extreme, not nuts. I don't know. But anyway.

But the Whole30 is a good way for a lot of people to start.

Sorry, I had to think it was Almond Joy and nuts. So now we're back in candy.

A squirrel? Yes. What?

Wait, my nails are sparkly. Normally we talk about sparkly squirrels on here.

You have seen the movie, right?

No. Oh yes. The dog? Yes, I have.

I tried.

Yes, I've got that. So anyway. All right, so the Whole30. The Whole30 works.

Yeah, the Whole30 absolutely works in this case.

For you.

Well, for most people who try it, right? And the reason why I recommend it to people is because there's a whole blueprint of it out there, and you can find all sorts of things to help people. See, if you do what I do, and like I said, I'm a little bit extreme, I'm like, okay, no sugar. So I'm, you know, I'm the crazy person standing in the aisle reading the ingredients, or I'm like, well, how much sugar does an apple actually have? Oh, I can't have that. Like, I'm that person, right? And so I don't expect most people to do that.

However, If you're gonna go, there's always another level, right? That's why I'm saying it's like start where you're at. Exactly. Like I said, if you're having that cornflakes with Coke for breakfast, maybe at least get rid of the Coke, right? Because like cold turkey is better and harder and more challenging.

It is and it isn't. And let me, let me add some insight to that if you don't mind. Cold turkey can feel, feel, feel, feel really, really hard.

Yeah, that's what you had in your head.

Cold turkey can feel really intimidating and scary, but if If you just commit to like 7 days, 7 days of giving up whatever that thing is. And the thing with sugar is really tricky that I had to figure out last year because I went full lion diet. And for those of you that don't know, that means carnivore. That just means no, no carbs at all. It means meat and fat. That's really what it means. It doesn't— you don't— on a lion diet, you don't even allow in dairy.

Right. Oh yeah, no, carnivore is full.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the first 7 days were like, oh my God, H-E-double hockey sticks, because the cravings just shoot through the roof and anything that's sweet around the house.

But see, that's the thing that to me like really kicks it, is like you notice when you drop sugar, you realize you're addicted.

Yes, that was it. So go ahead. That's, that was it for me. But after about 7 days, and the last part of the 7 days you get this icky kind of little hangover headache, um, and it's because your body is learning how to function without sugar. Your brain is learning how to function without that outside sugar input. And you gotta up the fat, especially women, up the fat if you're gonna do this. But what I found was that my cravings—

And not using cheese? How do we up the fat? Oh, more bacon, more bacon is good.

Lots of people do more bacon. I did more butter.

Okay.

But what I found was that the cravings after about the 7-day mark went away. I would look at things and I would remember. I could even smell them, handle them, because I'm cooking for a household, right? Right. No big deal. As long as I didn't put it in my mouth, I was fine. It was like that first taste, oh my God, ton of bricks craving, right? But as long as you don't put it in your mouth after about the 7-day mark, or some, for some people, 2 weeks, it depends on how much problems you have, that craving goes away, which is really interesting. So that's the positive about cold turkey, right? But it's hard because it's cold turkey, it's everything out, right? Yeah. And if you have any sneaky little thing, hidden ingredient in there, then that's harder. So then we go to the just cut out that Coke, just cut out that Snickers bars for just however long, right? And then you start incrementally cutting out things. And here's the thing that a lot of people miss. They're gonna say, okay, I'm gonna give up that Coke, I'm not gonna drink Coke anymore, but they don't replace the Coke with something healthy. So if you're gonna build a new habit and you're gonna get rid of something that's not good, replace it with a positive. So maybe it's a cup of tea. You know, maybe it's a protein drink, who knows, whatever.

We are drinking tea today.

So replace that, replace that. And I find that actually nutrition, I would say, is the crux of mental health and brain health. When our brain gets what it needs, our emotions stay a lot more level, our moods stay a lot more level. I worked with a little guy for a while whose emotions were all over the place, and so was his nutrition because he has dietary and was like narrow. But when we started getting in the right nutrition, leveled out. Just beautifully leveled out.

But before that— And then let's be, talk about the white elephant in America.

Which one? Alcohol.

Alcohol. That one. Because here's what happens is so many of us will have a really bad day and we just have to come home. —our lovely sophisticated glass of wine to wind down. And it's not always bad, but if you always need it, then it kind of is. And this is one of my friends—I've got lots of alcoholic friends. And when I say that, it's ingest but serious all at the same time, because I have lots of friends who have been saved by 12-step programs and One Day at a Time and all of that. And that's why I'm like, The food, alcohol, any change we make is the same stinking thing. It's one day at a time. You're never going to be perfect. It's never not— you can't leave for work in the morning when all the lights are green. Does not happen. You would never leave. There's never a perfect time to start a new nutrition program, stop drinking, any of those things. It is— but alcohol is definitely one of those things where it's just like The sugar impact from alcohol is ginormous, and that release we get from that is the sugar that the alcohol ate to create its alcoholness. It's also poisoning you, that's giving you that little mini high and helping you relax. And this is why meditation is better, if you can meditate. If you can't meditate, well, there's other things. But it's just like, but to understand everything we put in our body affects our mental health. And I'm not gonna sit here and say that there are times when I'm like, yes, I'd like a rum and Coke, please, because I'm stressed and I want that release. And I'm gonna honestly say, I'm like, yes, I'm very aware of what I'm doing. And it's one of those things where I'm like, am I a hypocrite? Maybe, kind of, sort of, no, I don't know. I know what I'm doing. I don't think you are. I think that— But it's just like, it's like But just to be aware of what's going on.

I think that awareness is the key. I think being conscious about it, because that's the thing when we, when we start talking about things like alcohol and false courage and addiction, the real challenge for people is getting locked into a mindset or belief or habit of feeling like you, you, you, this is your only choice, or this is the only way to feel better, this is the only way out, right? And I think that when we bring our consciousness and our awareness to to it. It helps us make better choices. I used to be really close to someone who was an addict, and I have— my, my grandfather was an alcoholic, and I think one of my uncles still is. And so I'm really familiar with the 12-step programs and that, that thing. And I grew up staying way the hell away from alcohol because my mom always just said bad business. And then I learned later that, like, if you're Native, if you're Indigenous, or if you're like around 50% indigenous, which is what I am, some 50-60% indigenous, our metabolisms metabolize the sugar you're talking about in the alcohol so much faster than the typical. That's probably why we have the issues we have in Native communities with alcohol, because if you look at the European side of it, you guys have had longer to—

We've been long-time drinkers.

You've had longer to—

your biology has had longer to Yeah, to, uh, and this is the thing, it's like nothing in life is all bad. No, none of it. And this is where it's just like, yes, in Italy you can be a 6-year-old and have a sip of wine and no one's gonna die, and you're just used to it, and that's just part of what you do. And it's just like, like you, I mean, all of us, I'm confident all of us watching either are or know an alcoholic. There's those two options. I don't think there's any of us who have not been touched by alcoholism in some way, shape, or form. Correct. And so it's that whole thing of it's like alcohol, just like money, just like sugar. Nothing is 100% good or bad. Everything, you just have to understand what it's doing to you and what your choices are and what are your options. And the right option for me may not be the right option for Andrea and vice versa. And for you guys watching, it's like, well, I drink every night because my doctor said so. And I'm like, yeah, I'm sure he did. But because my grandmother really legit, My grandmother came home and she said the doc said that I should have a glass of red wine every night. It had something to do with her blood or something. And it's just like everything has a plus and everything has a minus. And so just when you're putting anything in this pie hole thing here, just think about what you're doing because that's probably the most important thing I ever learned from Weight Watchers was if you're gonna bite it, write it. And that makes you aware of what you're actually doing.

Yep, that's why I like that word consciousness, because when we become really conscious of what we're putting in and start tracking those things, it's really surprising when we realize how many calories we consume or what those calories actually contain. I like—

so, so I'm not great at tracking right now.

I'm not one to pick that business at all, at all, but, but one of the things I try to teach my children is to not look at food as good food, bad food. It's, is this serving my body? Is this serving my mind? Is this— does this have the nutritional components I need to feel good? There's a difference between taste and nutrition, right? Yeah. Because, oh my gosh, for example, I love a good caramel cheesecake.

Caramel cheesecake, that's a lot of fat right there.

That's fine, I'm not going to do the fat, but the sugar? No, no, no. So, but the point is, is like, instead of looking at it as, oh, bad, it's, is this going to make me feel the way I want to feel? And that's what I'm trying to teach my children. Like, is it going to make you feel the way you want to feel? Because if we, if we make food bad or something we consume bad, then we feel bad when we slip up and eat it, right? Instead of going, oh, let's get back on that horse, I don't feel so great, right?

And this is why she works with children. Because we're all children. That is the truth of the matter. We are all children because we also are— you know when you were a kid and you went to mom and mom said no and then you went to dad to see if dad would give you another answer? We learned that at a young age. And then when we were no longer having mom and dad, we have the good little angel here and we have the little devil over here. And when we talk to the angel that says, "Oh, drink your tea, it's good." Devil says, oh no, you want that milkshake. So I'm saying, but it's just like we have figured out how to make sure that if we really want it, we will rationalize why we should have it.

That's exactly it. And that brings me to mind, and I'm sure you're familiar with it. I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase because we both listened to the person that came from, but we are wired— this up here is wired to survive. We're wired to survive, not thrive.

This comes from Tony Robbins. I know you are.

Yeah, I know I did. But it's a fact. We are wired to survive, not thrive. So that's why I keep bringing in consciousness and she keeps bringing in this non-judgment element because if we're kind with ourselves and we think, you know, it's like I say to people when I'm coaching people like in the G7, I'll say, if you have a toddler and they're learning to walk, right?

Oh yes, I know this one too.

Yeah, yeah, and they're learning to walk and they fall down, what do you do? I help them up. Well, okay, what if they fall down? I help them up. Okay, what if they fall down 100 times? I help them up. Well, why aren't you yelling at them and screaming at them and telling them what a failure they are? And people look at you, right? And but that's what you're doing to yourself when you mess up. Yeah, if you treated yourself like you treat a toddler and encourage yourself endlessly, it changes your whole relationship with yourself and the substance. And whether you reach out to your neighbor or someone that you know or not, right? It changes that because then you go, oh, I can open my heart. I can be me. There you go.

And it's okay. And we all fail, and we all fail miserably, often, all the time.

And I go, fail forward.

It's like, uh, it's, it's so funny. It's like, um, there's all of these acronyms, right? Like FEAR is Face Everything and Rise, or, um, and then there's What's the rise? I haven't heard this one. Oh no, it's just face everything and rise. F-E-A-R. Ah, got it, got it. I'm like, I'm not the best speller in the world, but I'm pretty good. F-E-A-R. Face everything and rise. Yeah, you're still talking about fear.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, where's the rise part?

That was the end. That was the R. Okay, good. But yeah, we are so stinking harsh on ourselves all the time. And it's just like, it's hard right now. We have social media, which y'all are watching us on, so there are places where this is a blessing. Unfortunately, this is also the place where everybody sees the most extravagant, most ridiculous things in the world. Like, oh, I must not be enough because I can't do that yet, right? Whatever it is. I mean, I don't know if it's dudes doing backflips on trampolines or these amazing, you know, routines. Dance routine, singing, or, you know, some jungle somewhere or some crazy water slide. I'm like, oh well, I didn't get— I can't— I didn't get there. I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. I suck. How come I'm not doing that?

I saw a beautiful post on just what you're talking about. Somebody did a post and they said they went to the pool and they were with their kids and they were watching this woman who came to the pool and She had— she looked glamorous. She had all her makeup on. She had her 3 little kids with her, and she got them— she got them in the water, and she had her phone. She was on the phone the whole time. She took a few pictures of them. Hey, look at mom's smile! Took a few pictures of them, took a few selfies with them, and then said, okay, let's go. The whole time she was on her phone, and then she posted on her social media the great time she had with her kids at the pool. Yeah, and the whole point was, is don't, don't compare your insides or your life with somebody else's outsides. Yeah, like, don't do that, because not everybody does. Yeah, obviously not everybody does this, but the point is, is don't step into this comparisonitis thing, because if you walked in each one of our houses, we probably— there's something we don't like that we haven't gotten to.

Dude, I'm looking at our background and I'm like, I should put that stuff away. I should have— then what? My— I'm a mess. And oh yeah, the— that is not the correct time. It is just that my— yeah, so I can look behind us and I can be like, oh, I should have moved that garbage over there. But so here's the thing, we all do it, right? None of us have all of our stuff together ever. The thing is, is the toddler thing. And one of my other favorite quotes is, treat yourself as someone you're supposed to be taking care of. Yes, I love that one. That's one of my favorites. I'll tell you who that is later. Um, cause I don't want to— anyway, some people love them, some people hate them. So that's why. All right. So yeah, so having grace for yourself in this world is hard. We are in America right now. America is ripping itself apart and we're watching it and we can't really do anything about it. And so that makes our self-care that much more important. It's critical.

And one of the things I teach in the G7, in fact, that's really what the G7 is all about. Almost everything I do is about leadership, whether it's, you know, little ones or big ones, but it's about stepping into that leadership. And so it's like, we're all struggling, but when you're talking to someone, talk from a space of grace for yourself and kindness, because you really don't always know what someone else is going through. And speaking into what's going on in America, one of the rhetorics we're sold— it's— I'm not saying it's not true, okay? But I will say that we have a left and a right tearing at each other and trying to convince we the populace how horrible everything is. Now, I'm not saying we don't have problems. We totally do. But because we do—

yeah, yeah, we do, we do.

And what you're saying is true. But also keep in mind that there is, um, a conversation on social media that when we look at that, and on the news that when we look at that, it tears at our mental and emotional health, makes us feel like the world is just falling apart. And when that happens, instead of getting angry, who's the nearest neighbor person you can call and reach out to and say, hey, I was just thinking of you, right? Who's that person?

Y'all who've been here for a while, you know I say this all the time, right? I'm just not the only one who says it. I just want you to know I'm not alone in crazy at all.

Well, I'm always like, communicate across those lines of difference, okay? That's where the heart of it is, communicating across those lines of difference. Because I don't know if you know the person, I think Rosenthal is the last name. Anyway, he did nonviolent communication, he taught it. And one of his groups brought it to an Israel-Palestine conflict years ago, okay?

We're not talking about the new stuff.

It's been going a long time. And there was this encampment where they had people from both sides talking to each other. And there was the people that were there to witness, witness this profound shift in like a 3-day camp. Because when you learn to really listen to what the other person is saying, you realize often that you guys are saying the same thing in different words. Yeah. And it's that ability to communicate across those lines of difference Everybody really wants— what we really want is we want connection, right? We want to be loved. We want to be accepted. That's a— that's a little like human needs, right? And I think that's part of what you're talking about, like how the separation in our country is making it harder for us to do this.

And everybody's afraid of each other. Yeah, it's like we have lost our connection to one another. Like, she's literally around the corner from me. And it's been a year since we sat next to each other. And it's been twice this week, but prior to that it was a year since we sat together. So we're so connected in on this thing, but we're not connecting in our communities. And this is where the death of the church has made a big deal. Regardless of what your belief system is, it's like temples, synagogues, churches, They've lost that communal problem, you know, connection. My grandmother actually explained this to me. The creation of the car was the real beginning of the end of our communities, because prior to that, you would walk by all of your neighbors on your way into town. You would walk by all of your neighbors on the way back. Everybody knew everybody, and there was connection there. Once the car came in, Then poof, all of a sudden more independence, running around, running around, running around. Now we don't have to leave our houses. We pick up our phone, we get Uber Eats, we get our groceries, we get our shopping done, and we don't have to interact with anybody we don't want to. And that is not how we're meant to be. Right.

And I, what I, to add to what you're saying, what we've stepped at, what we've created, I always say what we humans have this wonderful brain upstairs and we're We're wonderful at creating immense technology, right? All these things are supposed to make our lives easier. But we've also communicated in that culture a largely commodified experience. Now, what do I mean by commodified? Well, if you go back to the car thing that you're just talking about, not only would you be walking by those neighbors, but if town was 15, 20 minutes away, however many miles away, on foot, in wagon, horseback, all those, it took longer than it takes in a car. So if you were baking a recipe and you wanted to make a cake, it was not uncommon for you to go, "Hey, I'm running short of this, that." Go knock on the neighbor's door and say, "Hey, do you have a cup of sugar?" That's where that came from, back when people were doing that community living. Now we don't need to do that. Like you said, it can just come.

Oh no, I do ask Shawn and Holly for stuff from time to time. I do. I'm like, "Uh." Usually Thanksgiving, when I'm putting stuff together, I'm like, "Ah, the clothes." But anyway. So I do have some neighbors I talk to.

So, and well, I think the point that you're making too is that we can fall anywhere on that spectrum of are we staying super connected or are we not? And again, I'm going to bring that conscious word in because I feel like when we're conscious, I mean, it was just our last conversation that I went, oh, oh, I'm isolating. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Well, because I just wasn't thinking about it. Here I am doing all these things and what happens is but when we do it on the computer and we do it on the Zoom, it gives us this feeling inside of connection even if we're not actually talking with somebody.

Right, because right now I can look in your eyes. Right. When we look at the camera, it feels like the people who are watching, we're looking at them, but we don't get to have that actual physical connection.

Right, and we're not in that same energetic space. And I'm somebody who says this is real. This body bubble, you enter it, I know.

My back can even go— All right, we're off here.

But the point is that that is real, and you don't get to feel that in the same way when you're on a screen, which creates this another form of disconnection. And we're all at some level on the spectrum of awareness of, am I being engaged with my neighbors and friends? Am I being engaged with my family? And just talking with you, I was like, oh yeah, oh, I have— how long has it been since I had tea with with a friend. How long has it been since I actually did that?

Well, as a mama though, it can be harder, right? Because it's one of those, uh, it's, it's your priority is your children. And but now that we're older, my kids are older, now my priority is my mom. So it's one of those things we have to remember to put ourselves first. We have to remember to take care of ourselves.

One I always say too, especially if I'm talking to someone like on the Mama's Podcast and we're focused on parental, parental stuff, I'll be like, the best thing you can ever do for your child is to heal your own inner child and to integrate those emotional and belief wounds that you haven't yet. Because who you are, they model and imprint off of. So if you're a mom who's always putting your children first and you never take care of you, that's exactly the kind of mom they're going to be, right? So you have to figure out how to to take care of that part of yourself. And we were talking about this before I hopped on the podcast, right? I was like, this thing that I created, right? Yeah.

I'm not one of her coaching clients, so I don't do it already either. But I do warn my children. I'm like, all right guys, here's the deal. When you're 30, you can tell me all the things I did wrong, but I'm doing the best I can with the skills I got. So yeah, but I think again, the awareness That's part of it.

That's good, but I was going to say, even that communication right there is huge because sometimes as parents we forget, you know, our kids kind of look up to us, you know, and if we don't communicate to them, hey, I'm human too, right, then there's this break when they get older and they get in their teenage years and they start to understand, oh, mom or dad's human too, and oh, they don't do everything perfect. So it kind of goes— and if you If you find the space to start preparing them and say, hey, look, I'm doing my best, but I'm growing too, then they can begin to integrate that as they grow up, and it lends a space for connection later. We don't always think about that. I thought about that because I grew up, you know, I grew up, mom and dad were right here, and then when I got up, it was like, what?

They don't know everything? What did you do to me? How could you? Well, I mean, well, because I know as a kid it's like we're taught to respect our elders. Yep. And they know what they're doing, so we have to listen to them when they tell us to do stuff. And that works a lot of the time, and I'm all for respect. Uh, my kids are some of the few kids that call people Mr. and Mrs. still. Everybody's like, no, call me by my first name. Like, no, they can call you Mr. Mark or Miss Shane, but we're not gonna— we saw Mr. and Mrs. and And it's just like, it's these little pieces of respect, but just because you respect someone, you understand they're not perfect. Um, and so you can always learn from everybody. And that's the whole thing of we're in our little pods here. We have our little silos that we hop on, on YouTube and internet and all of that. And it's just like, nope, we got to talk to people that we don't agree with. And it's because the truth of the matter is we agree on 80% of everything. All of us, even the people that are Trumpers and Biden people, and they think they hate each other because they voted for a president. I'm like, listen, I'm gonna have a party in August, and I know not all of my friends like all of my friends. It's not gonna happen, but I like all of my friends. So it is like, we have to accept the fact that I can like Andrea and not believe everything and want to do everything. I know. You did what? You had sugar? Well, yeah. So anyway, but I mean, you have Coke?

Oh my God, I don't touch that stuff.

I know, there's no Coke in the house actually right now. Yeah, we're gonna stop there.

Okay, trust me, there's Coke in my house and I don't drink it.

All right, all right. And yeah, no, Coke is it. But you know, I gotta say, for real, this is how emotional food can get In that I think of Coca-Cola products, and one of the things that legit makes me happy is like the Coca-Cola polar bear. Like when I'm driving down the highway and I see that big red semi that's got the red side with the white light, right, lighting, this is Coca-Cola, it makes me happy. Like that's how much our marketing gets into our heads and our actual emotions. It's like, y'all know, right?

Oh, well, millions and billions of dollars are spent into marketing, so yeah.

Yes, to figure all this stuff out. Yes. So, but— I mean, the color red even. Yeah. I mean— Well, it depends on where we're coming from, right? So when you say red, the first thing I think of is my feng shui knowledge of red is a gift. Aww. And it is welcoming. And so that's like in the feng shui, or one of the things that red does. And it stimulates the appetite. Oh, I see that. Now you're going to notice it every time you look at the restaurant signs. All the restaurant signs. That's why McDonald's is red then. And yellow.

Yellow because yellow stimulates the mind and it lifts the energy up.

Okay, so, alright. Well, I'm just letting you know, if you ever get an envelope and it's in red, that's the gifting thing, is one of those things. So Valentine's Day had it right. Valentine's Day had it right. Card gift and food. Um, but yeah, so sleep, food, nutrition. And that's the funny sad part about America right now— food and nutrition are not necessarily the same thing. No, they are not.

And then we're one of the top countries actually that is really tough. I mean, we have foods here that are legal that are literally illegal in other countries because they're so toxic, and we don't think about that.

Do you have any examples?

Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's Starburst and Skittles, or both of them.

Oh no, because of the red stuff. Speaking of red, yes, yes, they changed that out though, I thought.

No, I don't think so. Um, and we, we can get into all sorts of funny stuff, um, like depending on how far you want to go.

No, no, we're running out of time already. We got like 4 minutes left, 3 minutes left, and we're done. Okay, all right.

But, yeah, there's a lot of toxicity in our food, there's a lot of GMOs, there's a lot of sprays. A quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, for a lot of people who have gluten sensitivity, for example, they don't realize that it's a glyphosate that's on the gluten that attaches to the gluten molecule that causes the reaction, actually. It's not the gluten, it's the spray that we put on our food to keep the bugs away, and we eat it. And so, it's not the entire picture, but for those of you that have gluten issues, just like know that, know that that's part of the picture that you're looking at, and that's in our food sources, right?

Gotcha. All right, so since I actually looked at the timer, um, yes, uh, tell people a little bit more about your coaching business and how to find you and fun stuff like that. Ah, through her? No. Yeah, I will. But see, I always say I'm gonna put links there, and then I put this up, and then I forget to put the link.

Okay, so if you come over to my channel on YouTube YouTube. Every time I post any video featuring this gal, there is her website plus my website, or you can subscribe to my newsletter. I'm doing a weekly newsletter now.

On LinkedIn you can subscribe? On LinkedIn, yep. You can go to my website. Just tell them your last name so they can find you on LinkedIn. Oh darn, okay. I mean, you know, if you want to share since you're on LinkedIn, I figure it's okay to state Andrea Fitzpatrick.

Yes, so you can find me under Andrea Fitzpatrick over on LinkedIn. LinkedIn. Um, you can also find my website, um, on Gumroad, which I can't even tell you the address right now. You can also find my channel on YouTube. And is it The Mama's Podcast on YouTube?

It is.

It is The Mama's Podcast. Actually, it's The Wise Life.

Wise Life. Or The Wise Life.

It's The Wise Life.

Okay, I might have to do editing, so I don't know.

That's okay. When you post it, let me know and I Anyway, yeah, you can find me all of those places. What do I do? So I run— under, under The Wise Life, I operate the Mamas Podcast, where I'm always interviewing parental leaders, parental sorts. And then I'm starting to actually edge that out into farmers and ranchers and people who are working to make change in those food security areas. And then I also run and operate G7 One-to-One Coaching Program. Which is for anybody who really wants to make a difference. It's kind of mid-level right now, shooting higher and higher, so like executives, and basically if you can afford me. Really, that's pretty much it. So that's what I do, and that's kind of the overshot. I'm being real casual here.

It's alright, we got 30 seconds left.

Buy my book because It's coming out later this year. Oh, congratulations. What's your book? Um, it's Communicating Across Lines of Difference.

Okay, that's how we— that's why we talk. We really don't actually like each other. We're just pretending right now.

We're not.

No, no, it's not true. It's just, you know, but now someone's gonna— we're gonna flip that. Now it's gonna be a rumor, and this is how we start rumors on the internet.

Yes, but this is also how we get people commenting.

Oh yeah, that too. And then that nice algorithm, and then we get more All that stuff. All right, so she's got a book.

What's it called? Communicating Across Lines of Difference.

Okay, and that is— that's it? That's it. By Andrea— you don't have a pen name?

No, no, it's gonna be by Andrea Fitzpatrick. I'm working on finishing it up and getting it out, so I gotta finish it.

I have to do finishing touches. Yeah, I've stopped lying to everyone saying that I'm gonna write a book because I've written lots of things. I've not put it together yet.

So I have this one, and then I'm gonna do do some children's songs with my kiddos. Okay, very cool.

And her kiddos love dinosaurs. Yeah, yeah, and fairies and unicorns. All right, so with all of that— yes, and best friends. So I got a lot of best friends bracelets from them last time I went over. That's best friends. All right, so Sue Sharp on Saturday. Thank you all for popping in. Um, by all means, check out all Andrea's stuff and hers. And yeah, this is kind of it. This is all I do. It's Saturday night. And thanks for watching. Like, subscribe. I'm getting better about remembering to ask for those things. Share with your friends and family. And I think that's all. Good night, everybody.