Mental Health Matter - Compliments

Oh, I totally did not think that was what was coming up. Okay, let me fix that. Hi everybody, sorry DJ. Um, ah, hello everyone, welcome. It is Suicide Prevention Saturday, otherwise known as Mental Health Matters because we had to change the name. So one of these days I will get it right and have the change in my head, but you know, many years of Suicide Prevention Saturday makes it hard. So why are we here? Hi everyone. If you are a first-time watcher, my name is Brooke Cheney. I am the owner and instructor at A Great Start Shooting School, and I talk about suicide prevention and mental health stuff and give people something to think about, talk about in the next 15 or 20 minutes, give or take. In the beginning, it was 5 or 10 minutes when I was just on Facebook, and then on YouTube, y'all get me talking more because you're all chatting over here in the whichever side it shows you with the chat thingy or the up or the down if you're on Facebook. So why are we here? Y'all know this, you can write it in the chat. Ready? Because 2, not just 1, but 2 out of every 3 gun deaths that we hear about are suicides. And we truly want to help prevent death by firearm if over 60% of the deaths are suicide, and we start talking about mental health and suicide prevention, not only can we save those lives that happen by gun, we can also help those like all of our preteens and whatnot that are taking their lives in other ways, help them as well. So, uh, looks like the side chat is already pretty rocking. Uh, hi everybody. DJ was here with me, of course, which y'all saw briefly in the beginning here. Compliments. That's what we're going to talk about tonight. Um, let's see. So I just got back from Japan for those of you who don't know, but I'm pretty sure y'all do know because some of you I got to see on late night, uh, YouTube channels, because for me it was the middle of the afternoon. So it's probably about the only time is when I'm on the other side of the earth that I get to see those late nights. 'cause you know, I'll go to bed at 9 o'clock, so I'm already up past my bedtime right now. All right, so going on a trip across, not the country, across the globe is a big deal. And the week before I left, there was some mad craziness going on. My mom has got a little bit of dementia. So I am her primary caregiver. And so I do a lot for my mom on a regular basis. And I was pretty good. I had people lined up to help while I was away. She had a support system that was all set, but then she went and got sick. And so the week before I left, I'm like, I can't, she can't be sick. And I'm stressing out over that on top of trying to prepare to fly across the other side of the country, the world. It's still like a mind bender, right? Um, so my mom got sick and I had to do a lot of stuff the week before I left, which was not prepared for the trip. So it kind of felt like hell week, just a little bit. Um, it was good because one of the things it taught me was I have a lot of stuff up here and I do a lot of stuff for my mom that I didn't really pay attention to. Until I had to pass it off to somebody. And when I had to get all the information out here and then transfer it to 3 other people who are taking the place of what I do on a regular basis, I kind of got the idea of, whoo, this is a lot of work. So with that, that was rough on top of getting ready for the family and for myself to hop on a plane and travel. That being said, it was rough. However, I was still working, and the Sunday before we left, I'm sitting here in class. I'm in my classroom right now, and I do not know what I said prior to this person, the student, saying this, um, but I'm sitting here We're in the morning portion of the class. The class is a full 8 hours for the pistol permit class here in Connecticut, and it's before lunchtime, so it's before 11. But this student is like, you are the Mr. Miyagi of gun training. And I just thought that was the best compliment I could ever get. Well, but wait, that was Sunday. On Wednesday or Thursday, because I did work Wednesday and Thursday. We left on Friday because, you know, why give myself extra time? So I did take Friday off. Um, Wednesday or Thursday, I had another student in class. Now this was a smaller class. It was either one-on-one or, uh, two-on-one. I forget which. But the student's like, you're the Yoda of gun handling. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, that is so cool! I'm feeling that. I got that. I'm like, I accepted the compliment fully. I acknowledged the compliment. I actually felt it. Now, a little bit later on, I think it might have been Friday at this point, and we're driving to the airport because, you know, JFK is like 2 hours from here, give or take. And I happen to look at my phone and it dings me and says, hey, you've got a new review. And I start reading the review. Now this was from a forcefully retired fireman, and for my other firemen, forcefully retired firemen that's on the chat here, um, forcefully retired firemen are generally the ones who've broken enough parts and pieces that they can't do the job that they once used to do because they loved it. So I have a new student in here and He wants to become an instructor and he doesn't even have his permit yet, but I think he's going to be great. And we're chatting and we're doing his class. Well, he writes a review. Now, if y'all want to Google A Great Start Shooting School, and once you Google A Great Start Shooting School, click on the reviews tab in Google and you will see the review that I read just before I hopped on a plane to go to um, wherever we went— Japan. Sorry, I really am still kind of recovering from that 13-hour jet lag. It's, it's rougher than I expected, honestly. So why are we talking about compliments? Well, because this year I shall be turning 55 years old in August, and the week before I left for Japan may have been the first time that I was complimented and I felt deserving of the compliment. 55 years old, first time that I can remember getting a compliment and then accepting the compliment and thinking I was actually worthy of the compliment. So that's why we're talking about compliments tonight. I am guessing I am not the only person in the world out there that has a hard time accepting compliments and/or you don't even hear them, because I know I've gotten compliments in the past. I've been teaching for over 11 years. I've been teaching really since I was 14 years old, not gun safety, but I have been teaching since I was 14, and I've been told many times very nice things about myself. And most of the time I'm like, uh-huh, thank you. And imposter syndrome. No, that's not true. I'm sure I don't— they don't know the rest of it. Does any of this sound familiar to any of you? I'm sure I'm probably the only one. However, if I am not, then I'm talking to the right people. Wait a second. Sorry. So DJ, I'm going to stop looking at the chat because I'm going to go like too far. I'll talk for a couple more minutes. Before I have to make you do the intro, uh, welcome and all of that. But how do I wrap this in together, right? What does mental health and compliments have to do with each other? Well, when I was a teen, as a suicidal teen, did I think I was worthy of any compliments? No, not at all. Um, as a 20 or 30-year-old, when people gave me compliments, I'm like, oh, I'm just doing what I would do. Which I find a lot of people do, is that even if I say, hey, uh, you look great today, you're like, uh-huh, sure, whatever. And you don't say sure, whatever to me when I give you the compliment. You're like, oh, thank you. But in our heads, so often we will be like, yeah, imposter syndrome, I'm not really that good, I 'Anyone can do this. If I can do this, you can do this.' Oh my gosh, that is the biggest lie in the world. I cannot do a knife review the way that Gizzard Gary does a knife review. I don't have the technical knowledge. I don't have the patience for editing. I don't have all of that. So, so yes, Gary, I'm giving you a compliment for a good job on the reviews. I do love your action figure though, but it doesn't need more chickens. So anyway, each one of us is unique. We each have our own talents. And the other reason that I'm coming on tonight to talk about compliments is because, whoo, for me to tell you that I appreciate the compliments I got and I actually believe them, oh, That is a huge growth thing for me. Um, and that's what I always want to share with you guys is like, we learn our best lessons when we fail and we generally keep failing until we learn the lesson. So many times have I told myself that I should truly appreciate a compliment when someone gives it to me. And I should believe it. And like I said, I'm turning 55 this year, and so I'm 54. So even though I've known this lesson since probably late teens, early 20s, it's taken me almost 30 years to get it through the skull. So if you're struggling with anything, please know there is no time limit. You can keep struggling and struggling and struggling, and at some point it will seem like forever, you may have that breakthrough moment. Because for me to hear the compliments and feel the compliments and feel worthy of the compliments— whoo, big deal. So DJ, with that, if you'd be so kind, think you can handle the roll call for me? He's still muted, so I'm waiting.

That I, that I know I can do. And by the way, photo credits to Guns and Barbecue out there for today's icon. Joining us first this evening, we had Crabby Turtle. Good to see you, man. See E. Snyder is out there tonight, so is Gun Websites. Thanks for bringing your audience to this cast today, G. Mike Ballinger is out there, so is JH586. The man of the great Pacific Northwest woods is out there, so is Abigail Sorcha Finnegan. To Live Moo Gizzard Gary also out there. DM Foss is in the crowd, so is Guns and Water. I think the last person to enter was Agarizer, and no, I'm wrong about that. Agarizer followed by Fiona. Fiona, good to see you, rock Very nice.

Thank you, sir. Sorry, I'm trying to catch up on the comments while he's doing that. And oh, so I see CE Schneider Marketing LLC, by the way, that's my marketing guy. He did cut and paste the entire thing in there. It's not going to fit because it was long. I read it. I almost started crying. Well, maybe I did start crying, I don't know, um, because I get all emotional over these things because that's what I do. But, um, yeah, so with, um, what Charles put in there, only one class, however she is a great person instructor, I cannot wait to have another class. So he is coming back next week, so it's more than one class by the next time I have one of these, but uh, when you clicked on see more, there was a lot more. It was like a page. I think he wins the, the prize for longest review given ever. And, um, so— oh, and my Fiona is out there. Hello, Fiona. Lots of women have a hard time accepting compliments, and I don't know if it's just a girl thing. Um, I know guys like to beat their chests, but I don't know that they actually feel like they actually believe the compliments that they are getting. So, oh my goodness. I don't know. I might be getting jealous here. It's like the Agorizer got a sticker pack. I don't know, Gary, do I have a sticker pack? Wait, I've got stickers. Oh wait, you can't see my, my camera got small on me. So there's my gizzard stickers. There's my gizzard stickers. Um, and, uh, yeah, I think I like the one down here with the, uh, he's got an AR on his shoulder. So anyway, uh, oh well, all right. So Abigail's compliment, it is true, especially when they're flirting and I think they're just being nice. Yeah, you can ask my husband. I didn't know the difference between people being nice and flirting. I just thought everybody was nice. And my husband's like, no, it's not how that works. However, yeah. So yes, sometimes it's hard to take a compliment if you think there's something else behind it. Like they want something, they're not just trying to compliment you. As DJ and I talk about each week, it's like, if you want to, if you don't see a smile, be the smile. And sometimes It's hard because you can smile at someone and they might think there's something behind it when you're just trying to be nice. Oh yes, Gizzard Gary, I am super good at watching my own stuff, so to hear someone else compliment me blows me away. Yeah, exactly. And this is just it, is that we are absolutely our hardest critics and we know, we know all of the things we have screwed up. All the time. And because of that— and the worst part about watching our own stuff is that we know how we thought or we meant it to sound or look or what the feeling was supposed to be. And this is why people say don't read your own comments, and I kind of believe that. Um, so yeah, our own stuff is the hardest, um, and we usually have a higher standard and we had a pre-expectation of what it was supposed to be and, and, and, and, and we know how we want to tweak that to make it a little better. So often we don't accept where we're at at the time. So, um, sorry, my marketing guy— this is Charles. He is also a retired fireman, um, and he used to live rent-free on the site. Okay, we'll talk about the site stuff. And I did get your email, and no, I haven't had half an hour in front of my computer since I got home. Um, so there is all of that smaller sticker. Yeah, I know that your Gizzard Gary is the reviews. I know the rifle's not there, um, because Amazon will not allow that, and it is nice to be nicer. All right, so Mr. Mario showed up. And for those of you who have not been on Hillbilly's channel, because I'm not quite entirely sure how many channels this goes on But when Mario shows up, everybody goes 1, 2, 3, hey. And if you don't get it, you gotta go to Mario Mosen's channel and you'll learn. So Mario Mosen does a similar channel to mine. No, not even really. I'm sorry. Mario talks about suicide prevention as well. However, as a veteran, he has a totally different take on it because he's got a totally different experience. Here I am, formerly a suicidal teen. There he is, suffering from PTSD and talking about it out loud. So yeah, check out Mario's channel. And everything is backwards, so it's hard for me to point at his thing. DJ, if you want to stick a link in Mario's channel, that would be lovely. What else do I— oh yeah, see, Gizzard New. Gizzard New to say hey. All right, and Abigail's gonna have me questioning my ability to know what vocabulary is because I don't know what sapphic thing means. DJ, you are my linguist, my friend. Do you happen to know what sapphic means? Because if anyone did, they can talk to me right away. But, uh, Lucy was literally holding me and telling me how much she loves me, and my brain was like, yeah, she's just being nice. Yeah, I totally get that, actually. All right, sir, tell me, what does sapphic mean? Or how do you even say that properly?

Sapphic, absolutely right. Women attracted to women.

Okay. Yeah, gotcha. No, I guess if you could—

if you can grab the comment, "It's nice to be nice to the nice," I have to give the shout out there. Um, I'm not sure if it's like intentionally copped from that program, but that's from M*A*S*H. Frank Burns says that, and I cracked up back here because of, uh, "It's nice to be nice to the nice." Gotcha.

Yeah. Oh man, uh MASH was absolutely my bedtime thing as a preteen, like, like literally like 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th grade. I watched MASH at, I think it was 10 to 10:30 and then 10:30 to 11 every night. So yeah, but I don't remember Burns saying that, but I believe you. And so, and but, oh yeah, but so yeah, got—

I want to thank G-Webs for dropping Mario's channel link out there, and I'm dropping right now, uh, the link to the Mighty Oaks programs.

Thank you. Um, and just to catch anybody up who's new to the channel, Mighty Oaks is a veteran, um, I don't know, mental health help, uh, place you can donate money to. A couple years back on my YouTube channel, Mario and I did a 30-day dry fire challenge where he and I just had a bet that I had to come on live or at least post something up every single day for 30 days before I went to a competition. If I failed, I had to give Mighty Oaks $100. Well, I gave them $100 on day 1, I think, maybe day 2, because I screwed that one up. Um, so yeah, imperfect progress is kind of how this always goes. Um, All right, so we got Abigail out there also with the PTSD. And here's the fun and exciting part about PTSD. Unfortunately, you do not need to be a vet to suffer from PTSD. And this is where I guess, um, there you go. Thank you, Mario's talking about the, uh, Oakes program, Resident Course for Combat Veterans and First Responders. Mario did attend it. Like I said, you can go to his channel and just search for Mighty Oaks and you'll see like he talks about how it worked for him and that sort of thing. So Jamie, King Solomon writes in Proverbs— I do not say that word— pride comes before destruction and hot tea look before the fall. I can almost read tonight. So that balance with keeping self-esteem up enough to get through a day My thing is, when I was getting, uh, beaten on— sorry, I don't mean to say beaten because I wasn't physically beaten, I was just emotionally beaten, uh, when I was being bullied in school— the thing that kept me alive was, or my mental state at least somewhat intact, was somebody out there has it worse than me, somebody out there has it better than me. And because I had so many people being mean to me, then this may or may not be why it's been so hard for me to actually accept compliments, because so many people told me how ugly, gross, disgusting, dirty, you know, stupid, etc., that I was. Um, sorry, I'm laughing at Jamie because if I could type, it would help. Yeah, typos. It's the new problem of the 20th century, because although it makes for some hysterical screen prints, you know what I'm talking about, guys, like all of those. I don't know, there's some hysterical screen prints out there. And autocorrect, autocorrect can be very hysterical. But taking compliments, believing that I'm worthy of the compliments I'm giving, or that I'm receiving, I can talk to. And I apologize for being so sleepy. 13 hours of jet lag is way harder to get over than I thought it was going to be. Working on it slowly. Um, so it's one of those things where we just believe the story that others have told us and then the story that we create in our head. And to have that point where you can rewrite your own story or realize you have the opportunity to rewrite your whole story, that is where the change really occurs. So I'm gonna say at 54 years old, I'm about to go on a growth spurt because if I can hear a compliment and actually feel the compliment and then actually believe the compliment, Yay for me. And the reason I have to share this with you guys is because if any of you have that same challenge, if you have that imposter syndrome thing going on when someone says, hey Tara, love your bike videos, you're like, oh, that was stupid. Because we're talking, you know, Abigail and I'm talking about a girl thing.

Maybe.

No, I think it might be an everything thing. DJ, this one, I'm gonna pull you on the spot. You get to speak for all men.

We're not all that great at taking compliments either. It does depend upon the person, of course. Some are, well, they are self-actualized enough to be able to take in a compliment and identify it, you know, be gracious about it. Um, I have trouble taking compliments. I know other people in the chat that are dudes that are out there have trouble taking compliments. As a matter of fact, I think it might be more difficult sometimes for dudes to take compliments Okay, well, because you're supposed to be strong, big, and take care of everything all by yourself, and you don't need compliments.

Women, on the other hand, we're supposed to be worshiped and taken care of and all of those things.

Yeah, everything for men is effortless and intentional. Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, so, but anyway, all right, sir, we're at 25 minutes. In 35 minutes, because I can still almost do math, is Hillbilly Up's channel will be starting around 10-ish because I don't think he ever starts at 10. He starts at 10-ish, but his live is scheduled for 10. So what do you think? Should I, uh, show a couple of the pictures from Japan? Possibly. Would y'all want to see that?

I would. I'm sure others would be interested as well. But make sure you, you cue them beforehand and make sure you're know what you're going to be presenting though from your reading.

What you're talking about? What? All right, let's see. Oh my goodness. So I try— I also, I'm going to look real quick. Mario says PTSD was discovered once our veterans went to Iraq, Afghanistan. Oof. Sorry, I read this before I clicked on it. So Um, keep going out of spite and stubbornness. If I take the Remington retirement plan, the haters win. Yeah, actually, that is very true. Um, there are times that I've talked to people and they say that. They're like, yep, I'm having a hard time. Yep, I am suicidal. Yep, I could take my life, but I don't want the anti-gunners to win, so I'm not going to use a gun if I take my life. So there's that. And it seems like an odd thing to say, but at the same time, it's like, yeah, it makes It makes sense. Uh, yeah, Tara says, I am not friends with autocorrect. Yeah, me neither. Um, Mario's talking about PTSD being diagnosed and looked at more closely. And again, it's not just vets, uh, our first responders also have challenges with this. Oh, what else? Uh, gonna be brief. Self-esteem equals no one else pays your bills, so F their opinions. Yeah, forge ahead and share your inner spark with those who want it. Sometimes that is easier said than done. Uh, I think guns in water is probably true with PTSD. Um, yeah, challenges in our lives, sicknesses, etc., get rewritten all the time in the medical journals. If you really look into it, it's kind of freaky, quite honestly, especially when we talk about all the mental health stuff. Abigail, you're now my favorite person tonight. Yes, I'm in my 50s. No, I'm not 35. I wish my knees and my back were still 35 though, for sure. Um, and G-Webs, you should have told me that before I took my trip that I had to go the other way. Um, anyway, all right, I don't know if I'm gonna get through all of these, but thank you, Mario. Um, and yes, it's fun to call you randomly for the fun of it. And by the way, we do need to do another interview. All right, I'm skipping picks or it didn't happen. That's where I'm going for. Yes. So first pick of the night, ready? Oh wait, let me get rid of this thingy. So first I'll tell you what it's going to be so DJ knows for sure that I do know what's coming up, which is Imagine yourself at JFK at midnight. This is what our family looked like. That'd be me, my husband, my kids. So, uh, this is us getting ready to jump on a plane at a— our plane was leaving at 1:30 AM on Saturday. So, um, we found— huh, yeah, I don't know, it was late. Everything is closed at JFK. By the way, um, that late at night. And so we were happy to find one restaurant that was open that would feed us. All right, pick number 2. Uh, we are in Hiroshima and there is this giant torii gate. So one of the things I learned in Japan is in Japan there are Shinto shrines, which the torii gates are built around and in front of. And this was a Shinto shrine that we visited. That's the buildings all in the back. And Shinto belief system is simply that everything has a spirit and everything is alive or has feelings and that sort of thing. All right, next photo. Oh, this next photo is not awesome, but I'm still going to tell you about it because one of the things I loved in Japan— and I don't know how well you can see these guys, but this is a koi pond and there's a bunch of fish swimming around in there. Um, the fish were huge, the, the carp were ginormous, and we found ourselves saying carpe diem lots while we're in Japan. Oh, oh, speaking of carpe diem, Uh, you know, carp, they're a big deal. I don't know why, but they are. And now I'm just gonna roll through because, you know, Hillbilly's got to get into his green room soon. Oh, video games. You know what there's a lot of? There are lots of video game parlors in Japan. Who loves video games? My entire family. So yes, we're on the other side of the world and my husband is playing Street Fighter and beating kids that are like 17, 18 years old. It was awesome. Um, ninjas and a shogun. We went to some museums and we got to learn the difference between the samurai warriors and the ninjas. Did you all know? Hey, Mr. Star, nice to see you. Um, sorry, Mr. Star is over on the Facebook side. Ninjas were generally the common folk and the farmers because their identity was unknown. The shogun and the samurai were always well known and were of noble descent. And we learned a lot about Japanese history. Oh, can you hear the, the noise on this?

No.

Okay. All right, so this is my son playing a game with a geisha, and she's singing, and the game is you tap the bowl. If someone takes the bowl, you have to make a fist and hit the table, and if you mess it up, then you mess it up. You didn't mess it up this time. And then he got to keep going, and what happened was he actually ended up winning. And our host in the corner there that you can see, um, she says this only happens like once a month maybe with all of the geisha shows they do. So my son is a rock star in Japan now. So that was really fun. Here's an entrance to a um, Kingdom Hall. What the heck is it? It's not a Kingdom Hall. They're not a bunch of Witnesses. Um, one of the castles, and I can't even tell you which one, but just the intricate metal work, the paintings, all of that stuff was all very cool. Ah yes, this is also in the Royal Gardens. Uh, this is one of the Japanese Gardens. My daughter came home saying that we must make a moat around the house now. And install a Japanese garden. I have talked to my gardener. It might be a work in progress. Oh, Pokémon. My daughter loves Pokémon, so we went to every Pokémon store that we could. Oh, this is me feeding the wildlife. Um, that is a pigeon in my hand eating out of a cracker. And, um, then what else? Oh, we saw the biggest Buddha ever. I don't remember what the dimensions are, but the picture does not do it justice. And then there's 5 million other pictures which we're not going to get into today. However, I figured y'all want to see at least a little bit of stuff. All right, DJ, are there comments I should pay attention to, or should we let these lovely folks go that were kind enough to spend their time with us this evening so they can go get ready to go play with Mario?

Well, I give the roll call. Why don't you scan those comments? Scan those. Thomas just came into the room. Um, scan those comments, including something maybe from Mark Thomas saying, hey y'all, and we'll get to that. So let's see, I guess I will go in reverse because, uh, Mark's just arrived. Uh, Mark Thomas is indeed out there. So is Mario Mosey. Chasing Ghosts was out there tonight. So was Fiona, Agorizer, Guns and Water out there. DM Foss, the man was in the room. So was Gizzard Gary. Dude Live Moo rounds out the barnyard. Abigail, Sorcha Finnegan, was here tonight. So was Woods, JH586, Mike Ballinger, Gun Websites, C.E. Snyder, and Crabby Turtle was the first in the room and the last one I mentioned. So did you scan and find some comments you want to—

uh, well, this is, this is sort of, uh, the, the funniest of it is, is the good news is when you get to a certain age, your hearing loss compensates for the noises your body makes. Um, and prior to that was Charles saying my back sounds like a bull bowl of Rice Krispies in the morning. Um, so yeah, I mean, other than that, I didn't get any farther than that. So if I missed anything, by all means please let me know and go ahead and throw it in the comments on here. Um, like DJ is so good about reminding us, like, share, all the fun stuff like that. And, um, I don't know, I think that's it. I will be back really live and in person, uh, next weekend as well. Hope y'all enjoyed all of the either the replays and or the new interviews you guys got to see while I was away. I did manage to check in at least a little bit on each one of those, but it was usually the middle of the morning while we're doing stuff. And the next prerecorded thing is going to be probably on the 31st. 1st, I think, because I'm going away for a wedding. But other than that, I'll see you all soon. DJ, any last comments?

Uh, thanking everybody for coming out tonight is the last thing. And everybody come back next week, bring a friend. Um, the comment section, refresh the stream after it ends, leave a comment. That really helps out the algorithm, and we appreciate that. So until I see everyone else again, be safe, have fun, Take care of yourself and your crew and rock! Have a great night.