Mental Health Matter - Defensive driving and a colorful vernacular

Ta-da! Here we are, Saturday night. Welcome everyone, thanks for popping in. What'd you think? That was the debut of maybe our future intro and outro thing. DM Foss put that together for me and I figured, you know, let you guys see it for the first time. I've seen it once or twice so far. So welcome to Mental Health Matters on a Saturday night, which used to be called Suicide Prevention Saturday, but YouTube and their algorithm and all their rules changed that for us. Just like the intro gets changed because we can't have guns being shown when we say we're going live, even if it's recorded or a picture or any of that. So why are we here? For those of you who don't know, welcome to the show. My name is Brooke Cheney. I am the owner and instructor here at A Great Start Shooting School, which I think the logo is up there. And we are here because gun owners are actually the most proactive in trying to save lives. Because myself, as a gun owner, I want to save lives. And if 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are actually suicides, then if we're not talking about mental health when we're talking about saving lives with firearms, we're missing 60% of the problem. So with that, welcome everybody who is here. Drop a hi, a like, all of those things. As DJ always says, share out when you can. I'm missing my DJ currently. I don't know if we've got technical issues. Oh, oh, as soon as I say I'm missing my DJ, voilà, there he appears. Say hello.

Hello, DJ.

Do we, do we forget what time it is, or is this because the intro is too short? You wouldn't get here in time.

The intro, by the way, that's cool. I was glad, I was glad to see that in the last few seconds that this device was rebooting itself because internet is not that great today. But I'm glad to be here, like shuffling in a little bit late. Here's my tardy slip, and I hope that I'm gonna be all right.

Well, I know sometimes when I email you the link versus text it to you, you're like, you don't look at your email. So, you know, my bad. I didn't text you and say, hey, look in your email. So I wasn't sure, but I'm glad you are here in the background. So yeah, we're going to go ahead with that sort of kind of theoretical chat we had earlier this week. So with that, let's see, I am just going to say hi, Crabby Turtle, because Crabby Turtle's first in the room and the first one to go like this because he shows up like 8:30. Way early, but I always appreciate the fact that I know I got one person watching. And for the rest of you that came in after 8:30 that I haven't seen your comments yet, thank you for being here. So, um, yes, DM Foss gave us that new intro, and I think we're just gonna keep that. The only thing I might do is make it a little bit longer because it's true, the other one was like almost a minute, and I kind of like having a little, you know, but we'll see what happens. All right. So I got DJ in the back here with me. So I'm going to have him mark comments. I'm going to try to stay on track. It's one of those unique Saturdays. I have notes. And when I have notes, I try to stay on track so we can get in, get out, drop a little bit of hopefully helpful information here for you and continue on. Because y'all know if I start looking at the chat, wherever it is, Ah, then I start chatting with you, and this could go on for an hour, which I know G23— I think I saw him in here— he thinks I should do this for like 2 hours. And I'm like, I don't think I can handle that. Although if I have a guest or 2 guests, then maybe. But for tonight, that is not the plan. Tonight we're going to talk about road craziness and defensive driving. Yeah, yeah, I don't know about you guys, but it's like people got locked away for a couple years, and I think they went stir crazy, and now they're back out and they're nuts, like crazy on the roads. Uh, I don't know how much you commute, but I know I don't do that much commuting anymore. My job is here in my home, so most everybody comes to me, and so I don't have to go. I go to my kids' school from time to time. I go to the grocery store I go to the doctor's office with my mom most of the time and sometimes for myself. And honestly, I think that's all the driving I do. So grocery store. Oh, gym. Gym every morning. Well, most mornings. Always and never rarely occur. But try to get to the gym most mornings. So that's an early morning commute. Not as many crazies out there. However, I called DJ after the most recent like smack yourself in the head. Oh my gosh, what were these people thinking? So let me draw a picture for you. It is, we're gonna say 8 AM and we are at a stoplight. Now this is a stoplight that has a green arrow to make your left turn. Myself, the car in front of me, and the truck in front of them were way behind where the green arrow turned off. So dude is behind truck, box truck, cannot see past box truck because I can't see box truck behind box truck and/or in front of. And this person is riding that box truck's bumper. He's taking a left turn and this guy is on his bumper and he just follows him as if he could see through the truck. Luckily for him, the poor person who was coming, who had the right of way, paid enough attention to stop and not T-bone them. They deserve to get T-boned, but nobody wants that for real. But I'm just like, you know, smack my forehead kind of, what is the matter with people? This is a left-hand turn in a very busy area. This on-ramps, off-ramps to the highway. It's called East Main Street. So, you know, it's a main street in Torrington, Connecticut. And I'm going to say also it is probably busier than actual Main Street except for that one intersection. Section. But anyway, so it's just like, after that lovely little incident of almost watching someone get T-boned, I called DJ. I'm like, we gotta talk about this this weekend because it's nuts out there. It's like people are not paying attention to what is going on around them. It's like they're driving and all they're caring about is getting to where they're going, and they are not looking up and doing the swivel They are not checking stuff out around them. It's just like, no matter how long you've been driving, my hope is if you're at an intersection and you're making a left-hand turn, you wanna make sure you can go without getting T-boned. So I called DJ 'cause I was mad about this. I'm like, I said a word that I'm not gonna say because I'm just gonna say I had some colorful vernacular that morning. That made DJ laugh. DJ, tell them I'm not lying here, right?

You're not lying.

So did I give you a good belly chuckle that morning?

Yes, indeed.

Okay. So even out of a dangerous, scary situation, fun can come out of it because I made him giggle. And I only left him a voicemail, by the way. I didn't talk to him directly. So he got to— he could record that and like, you know, anyway, so We did get to talking afterwards, and it reminded me that not a week later— no, actually, sorry, let's go back. The day before this, I'm going up that same East Main Street into Warrington, Connecticut, and there's sirens and trucks and ambulances all going up the hill. And where I was going, I stopped going because I saw all of these stopped in the road there. And I pull into my favorite sandwich shop, which is Jimmy's, and I go into Jimmy's and I'm going to get food because obviously I'm not going to go further because I'm not going to be part of the stuff, whatever is happening. Only to find out this— now this is the day before the thing I just told you about— there's a motorcycle accident. And then the next day I read about it and it's again someone pulling out of an— of a driveway, a parking lot, taking a left-hand turn. Dude comes out in front of two motorcycles, didn't see him, didn't look for him, uh, and I forget the entire part. I think one of the guys— they both avoided him but then ran into other things in trying to avoid the person who came out. And that person got charged with lack to give right of way, right? Left-hand turn, you, you need to give right of way. You have the lowest, you are the lowest on the totem pole when you're taking left-hand turns. So that was the day before I saw the box truck incident. And I'm talking to DJ about this again, and I'm just like, and just last week I'm pulling off the highway It's me and I think my mom, and we're at one of those off-ramps where it's like I'm in the yield thing and then there's a stop sign and we're in the yield. We're looking and because we're making a right-hand turn, just so we're clear, and it's a yield. So I'm looking and I see a car coming across the bridge and I'm gonna wait till that car goes. Well, I'm watching that car and I'm like What the heck? This dude comes off the highway, I'm gonna go with at least 60, 70 miles an hour, off an off-ramp, and that poor person who was coming down the road towards me, I can't imagine how fast their heart was beating when they're coming like this and they see this guy go, phew, as they are just going down the road. Literally, I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped and I'm just like, I was so thankful that that was not just a horrendous accident. Cause I'm like, that would've changed how our day went because we would've done whatever we can. And it did remind me of like, hmm, where is my first aid kit? So, um, these are the things. And it's just like— and this is me going out of the house a tiny, tiny bit. So for those of you who actually get out of your bed every day, hop in a car and drive somewhere to work every single day, God bless. And I hope you see less craziness than I do. But depending on where you live, I'm sure you see more craziness than I do. And what does it have to do with mental health? Matters. Well, let's see, what do you think has to do with mental health matters? All the insanity that's going on out on the roads, people coming to so many near misses, and we get to see this all day long. Just seeing it raises our stress level, right? And then what do we do about it? Well, defensive driving, right? It's like we do that head on a swivel thing, right? It's like, okay, I'm coming to a yield. In theory, I just have to slow down a little bit. But no, this girl stops because it's hard to see up the, the street that way. And so I'm not just going to slow down and then pull out sometimes if it's not— yeah, but anyway. But then to watch this guy go zooming through at— oh, if that had been an impact, it would not have been good for anybody involved. So the defensive driving comes out and it's like, okay, look both ways, pretty sure you don't see anything, look both ways again. And as you're pulling out, look again, right? And then when you're watching people do stuff where you're just like, oh my gosh, what are they doing? Try to remind yourself that you're not doing that thing. The reason you're doing the face palm is because you know not to do that thing. Doesn't mean we have not done that stupid thing, because most of us have done the stupid thing. I've gone through red lights, I've missed stop signs, I don't know what the speed limit is sometimes. I am not suggesting I don't do that stupid thing. We just— there are certain stupid things that we try not to do. And then that final one, for real, watching that dude fly across and just barely missed this poor person going this way. It really did make me realize, I'm like, I am not prepared. I do not have my first aid kit in my, in my car, and I have scant little things that would stop bleeding or control bleeding or any of those things. And it's just like, we talk about being prepared, we talk about mental health matters, we talk about being ready to help and take care of others and take care of ourselves. And when we're talking, when I'm talking to you about our mental health, I realize that we need to have our first aid kit with us at all times. And it doesn't have to be the physical first aid kit. It can be our mental first aid kit. It's like, what have we done lately to take care of our mental first aid. Have we just sat for a moment? Ready? Take that deep breath, relax for just a sec. That's a mini meditation, right? Think about your breathing in and out. Awesome, right? That's a mini Band-Aid if you're feeling stressed after you just saw someone almost whack into somebody or do something that was very dangerous, but nobody died, So we're happy about that. But having that physical mental health thing, this is why I love checklists. This is why I love having the little ticker, right? Oh, here, 988-211. If you want to text, that's coming up soon. So, oh yeah. So 988-800-273-TALK. Don't want to talk, then you can text. But this is part of your, uh, what do you call that? This is part of your first aid kit for your mental health, right? You could put these in your address book and say mental health first aid kit because you may not need it. You may have all your ducks in a row and they're quacking and stepping in time. The reality of it is you might need this information in order to help someone else. So Here's my suggestion for your first mental aid first aid kit. That would be that. Now, DJ, I am such a slacker. I've been going blah, blah, blah for a whole 15 minutes. We have not yet got to say hello to everyone. How come you're not up there? There you are. I'm gonna, I'm gonna make you—

yeah, we added into— we added and deleted each other at the same time, I think, is what happened there.

I didn't, I swear.

Right on. Well, I'm going to need to double-check on that text chat to make sure that I get everybody, but yeah, first in the room tonight was the Crabby Turtle. Chasing Ghost is also out there. Our Professional Driver is out there with some opinions and ideas that I'll be bringing up on the screen when I finish the roll call for you. G23 is out there, so is Chris Broncato. He's the Atomic Punk Gun. Websites is out there. Salute. Sorry if they have 93. Pat the Bunker's also joined us tonight. And bring it up to the screen while you bring yourself to the screen. We have, uh, Chasing Ghost here saying, I drive for a living. People's driving is getting worse and worse and far more distracted. I think that we all see that when we're out driving. Cell phones are a blessing, but they also are the pain of the existence of other drivers. So not using those. And full disclosure, I use my damn phone when I drive all the time.

Oh, don't tell people that.

No, I know, and, and I absolutely should not be, and I think I think that I protect myself by only, you know, at stoplights kind of thing. And then that way it's only really that I'm bothering somebody behind me because I'm not leaving at the launch, you know, when it goes green sort of deal. But that increases the stress behind me. And, you know, I'm also not about full disclosure to say that I'm going to stop doing that or that it really bugs me that somebody has to remind me to pay attention necessarily. And it's because I take myself too seriously. I take myself, I take what I'm doing and my importance above those that are around me. I kind of forget, and I think it's reinforced, you know, once you close the doors, the radio is yours, you're turning the tires, and you're making it go, stop, and go. Other people are secondary, and when you should be considering them maybe equally to the task that you have at hand, which should be really just the safe travel to wherever it is that you're going and not, you know, street racing or interstate racing, as the case may be. So I don't know exactly how to take care of that for everybody else, so I just wanted to mention the kind of things that I do when I realize, dude, you're being a dick. Put the phone down, relax. You know, other people are not trying to annoy you while you're trying not to do the same thing. You busted yourself. What do you do? I changed the radio station. On the left end of the dial, you have public radio. And I know there are a lot of people that are not a fan of public radio and they don't want their blood pressure to rise if it's the news or some op-ed piece or something. But you also have a concentration of jazz and classical music on those lower frequency bands. I have— I just have them programmed in addition to wanting them there. I would— I would program them separately if, if I didn't already, kind of thing. Anything instrumental is going to be a little bit more soothing. Even, even if it's a lightning-fast piano movement by Grieg, it's still going to be more soothing to the monkey that's in charge of the machine. And if the jazz thing isn't quite what your ear is looking for, then yeah, anything on that left end of the dial— you're also going to have religious programming is going to be more frequent down there. Just people talking is also going to be there. So if you're going to create a distraction, I'd want it to be— I would like it, at least for myself, to be a positive one. And so I find it in music. The other one is in breathing, and you did mention that, and that's part of the mental health IFAC when you're driving for sure, because you can reduce your heart rate, you're going to lower your blood pressure, your anxiety, you know, the attendant stress because of the body to the brain and the reverse system that's going on there. It's definitely going to bring you back into more level. I was going to say bring you down, but it's actually bringing you up while it relaxes you a bit. And so I know it's not going to be easy to do in the car,. But like the step that will help you to breathe in the kind of deep diaphragmatic breathing that you need to do, that's like the most important. If you put your hand, not the one that's on the wheel, right? If you just place it on your stomach as you're taking a breath, that's all you need to do to remind you where you're breathing from. It's just below the xiphoid tip on your ribs. Okay? So down below the sternum, you put your hand there, press a little bit, you're going to breathe from the diaphragm. That's where you want to go. So if you're doing those cleansing breaths, you're reducing your pulse rate immediately. What's that do to your blood pressure? It dumps your blood pressure down. You're sweating and you're cursing. Well, the cursing might remain, but, you know, the sweat might decide to stop because you're also lowering the temperature that your body is rising to because you're in— what is it— the fight or flight response. So the monkey is now being propelled into the future a little bit more safely, hopefully, I guess. And you need to jump in, otherwise I'm going to keep going because I had a couple other things I want to say about driving in summer travel before I brought other comments to the screen for you.

All right, well, I just— I, I'm like, I just figured I'd let you go. I appreciate it. Um, but yeah, I definitely have— I know you're gonna bring stuff up, but I definitely bring this up because that motorcycle accident I told— just told you guys about, that was the second one in 2 weeks. And motor— it's warmer out, more motorcycles are out chasing ghosts. Those of you don't know, she rides motorcycles. Um, but it's just like motor— yeah, 2 2 motorcycle accidents in 2 weeks is way too many. And, uh, the first one was supposedly 2 motorcycles being morons and they ran into each other and they were messing around. So there's that. So if you're a motorcyclist, please don't be a moron. Be smart. Um, as you already know, that is definitely where we want to get into defensive driving. And again, so the electric scooters I'm not going to lie, they freak me out a little bit because they go slow and I'm always afraid. It's like, it's not a bicycle, but it's not a motorcycle. And I'm like, what are you doing on the road? Because I just— you got blinkers, but I don't understand because I'm— yeah, I'm afraid to pass you.

And I tend to— to that, I tend to Tesaria's point there. The, you know, the seasonal risks are going to be higher based on there being more two-wheelers out there. The economic trend right now is also going to be increasing that seasonal risk for just that. People are considering getting alternate, you know, alternatives to cars. And the rise in electric and the fact that those things, the prices drop, are dropping on those kind of things is going to put more of them out there. Now, I don't know any of the skills associated with Sari's two-wheeled wheeling, but I'll say this, that's more of a youth thing that's happening as my eyes see it. And so you're talking about people who may not have as much experience on two wheels, may not have any experience on four wheels. And those propulsion systems are a lot of fun for the right hand. We know that Chasing Ghost out there is, is a cycle rider as well. So think about the hundreds and thousands and thousands of miles where her eyes are seeing things from the uncaged perspective on 2 and the elevated perspective on 18. So having those eyes open and being aware that there are those two-wheeled vehicles that are out there, that they are going to be out there in greater and greater droves, and that sometimes they do run in packs, you're going to have to show patience for that as well. I like that this is the topic you decided for today because even if people don't drive, they're able to relate to some of these things. And, you know, summer vacation is also upon us. Most schools are out right now, or they're going to be soon. That's not just kids in the streets, that's those same kids who are getting their first summer jobs. So you're talking about 14-year-olds with learning permits, depending on your state, right? Don't like hold me to every, every suggestion here. 16-year-olds who have how many years of driving experience? The hours that they're doing, the distractions that are going on there. It isn't always youth drivers who are the problem, but they're certainly swelling the ranks on the road. And so being aware of the kind of drivers that are around you as well is something that I'd like to encourage. One more, everybody's out.

A couple more of these comments before we go because we're already at 24 minutes and you know me, I want to be out of here in the next 6. So, uh, I appreciate gun websites assuming that all drivers are Subarus and Volvos. Which is no. We got Fat Boys, we got Corvettes. Corvettes are my favorite ones to see. Um, lots of motorcycles, all of those things. Um, G23, I forget where you are, but, uh, 3 semi-truck accidents last week and a half and 4 different car accidents. That is a lot, and that sucks. Um, so one of the things I just learned from my bus driver actually about blinking lights I know she's talking about the taillights going left and right, um, and the thing is that not only is it that if you watch for their blinkers to see which way they're going, and the fact that they have to take wider turns than you do as a right-hand turn, but also if they're on the side of the road and the lights are blinking, generally what happens is people are drawn towards that. So if you see a car, a truck on the side of the road with its blinking lights, get over to the next lane if you can, because that's just the polite thing to do. Um, all right, sorry, fan, I am not laughing at this, but I am laughing at this. Imagine for a moment you're out in the, the Kroger's parking lot, and for those of you who don't live out that way and don't know, Kroger's is just another grocery store. Uh, we just don't have them back here., but, um, you're just getting carts and people are going to run over you. I'm not going to lie. I go to the grocery store and people are going to run you over. It's kind of a little bit nuts. Uh, and Jamie, just want to say it's okay. You're allowed to be late. It's, you know, we're all busy. Uh, as one of my students today was saying, life happens and it never stops happening. Well, you know, and, uh, and whether you want to say that Everyone's getting their driver's license off Temu or a Cracker Jack box. I will let you know, Pat in a Bunker, I was so happy to know that the other day I got a bag of Cracker Jacks because it's not in a box anymore, and they still had a prize in there. So yes, maybe some of them are the actual driver's licenses. And, uh, yeah, G23, I have no doubt that you have your Level 1 trauma kit. Um, and see, my problem is is I have my first aid stuff in there, and then I clean my car and I take everything out so I can vacuum it and all of that, and I forgot to put everything back. Same with the allergy meds for my husband and my kids and all of that. All right, so G webs, wear eye and ear protection. Even Scully knows. So that is my range dog. He's got actual eyeglasses and earmuffs., and that is from NSSF. So I think— all right, DJ, this one is for you.

What do we got on the screen there? Is jazz even legal in the— yes, it is. K-I-O-S-K-V-N-O, 90.7 and 91.5 on your FM dial when you're passing through in the van with the dogs.

Check it out. Did you work there, or you just listened to it a lot?

No, those are like my— those are the two stations I grew up with that are in the area.

Yeah. Okay, very cool. Um, so let's see. Yeah, so Jason says, I, I curse a lot but I drive a lot. Yes, see, I'm calling it colorful vernacular. Um, so anyway, that is what I got. DJ, have I missed any, uh, comments that you've highlighted or you want to bring up?

I'm unable to highlight, so I figured that out another time. But, uh, yeah, there were some good comments out there, but I know that we're coming close to the end of the hour, and I think we could wrap.

Well, I think, uh, somebody was talking about— Tara was talking about her, uh, working for armored trucks, and so GWEB is just like, you know, lose a few hundred grand, you know, here and there. So I've been hit. Oh yeah, hit in the back by a car mirror while uploading— unloading. Wow, that's ridiculous. Um, I'm actually replacing one of my car mirrors because my daughter, when she was learning how to drive, came a little too close to a garbage can on garbage day. So, um, yeah, so I gotta try that next time I'm cleaning to make sure that the trauma kit just goes somewhere like on the hood or the roof or whatever. It's a little bit hard to put stuff on the roof of a minivan. So, and yeah, see, this is what I get for mentioning it in the beginning. A 4-hour show now, dude. I thought you were just gonna be happy if I did a 1-hour show. Um, but anyway, all right, my friends, it has been a full 30 minutes. And see, this is what happens when we have notes and DJ and I actually talk ahead of time. Starting to get the link out to you guys earlier or sooner so you could share it out more. Um, oh, and the 4-hour show is due to inflation, just in case anybody hadn't missed any inflation as of late. But, um, with all of that, I am headed to bed. You know my, my whininess. It's like, yep, I had a full day today teaching in the rain. So much fun. Um, tomorrow got another full day, starts at 9, ends at 4. I know, Jamie, I should be going to church, but, um, you know, God says where two or three of us are gathered, that is where the Lord is. So I've got that going for me. Pray with my brother on a regular basis, and scripture on Friday nights, uh, Georgia Shooting Connection. So all of those things. All right, Mr. DJ. You know, your job at the end of the show is now here. I'm going to click on you.

See, I gave you warning this time, at least. Beat me to it. I'm glad that you did. And now I'm going to mute myself. Right on. Thanks for hosting tonight, Brooke. Every week is a good time to hang out and to reflect on the previous week and to remind ourselves that as we join a community like these, the goal is for us all to have increased mental health and to have resources available to us. So keep keep that in mind as you invite somebody to come next week. Um, I want to say thank you to Crabby Turtle, Chasing Ghosts, G23, Chris Broncott of the Atomic Punk Gun website, Sorryfan93, Pat in a Bunker, JH586, other listeners live and in replay. Thanks for joining us. Be safe, have fun, take care of your crew and yourself, and rock!

We're out.