Mental Health Matters

doing things. All right, here it is. It's Saturday night. I totally want to just go, it's Saturday Night Live. No, but no one's fallen down any stairs yet, so we can't do that. And for those of you who do not get that reference, you're too young. Anyway, welcome everyone to Mental Health Matters here on a Saturday night, 9:00 PM Eastern, and goodness knows what time it is when you're watching this. And it's Saturday night. Yes, moo. You have it correct. It is Saturday night. It is Saturday night. It's true. Oh, look at you, Chris. You are here. Good job. Um, and, uh, I will let DJ do the official roll call. And because I'm— oh, Patriot in the dark. Wait a second. I saw it. Uh, oh yeah, Patriot even catches. All right, so maybe it's the day after Valentine's Day that everybody shows up. I don't know. Oh, this is not when I need to lose my voice. All right, so welcome to Mental Health Matters. Why are we here? Well, because every 2 out of 3 gun deaths that we hear about are suicides, and if we truly want to help to prevent deaths by gun, then suicide is 2/3 of the problem. And that other 1/3, that's a lot of different things. It's gang violence, domestic violence, accidents. The list goes on. So if we're looking to solve problems, talking about mental health, talking about suicide prevention, these are the things that you and I can do to make a difference in the world. Just share out, remind people saving lives is important, and guns do that, and talking about guns can do that, and educating people about guns can do that. Because if some of those accidents deadly because people don't have the education around firearms. This is why we need firearms education, not legislation. So, um, oh my goodness, Viejo's in the room and everything. I don't know if you saw my comment last night while he was on Jamie's. Nice hat as always. So, all right, I'm gonna let DJ take care of all the comments and things and stuff, and I'm gonna turn that off so I stop getting distracted because y'all, I appreciate you chatting up in the side chat wherever it is. Like, I know, um, anyway, all right, mental health matters. What are we here to talk about? Every week I try to give you something to think about, something to noodle your noggin upon, to think perhaps this is something that you can use, or perhaps it's something you could help use for somebody else depending on where you're at. Most of us need some form of mental health every single day, uh, whether it's a moment to reflect or repurpose our brain train. Because I don't know about y'all, but being a girl— because we talk about men's and women's brains do not work the same most of the time— uh, my little train goes off on all of these tangents and these ramps and all of these things, and I must come back to getting refocused and realizing that I'm going off on all these different things. So, uh, no barbecue's gonna be out there tonight. I know he said one of his challenges is this and bedtime conflict, but sometimes he shows up. But we were just talking about the squirrels and that's where barbecue comes up. So tonight let's talk about perspective. What is your perspective and how do you make sure that you're actually being aware of what your perspective is? So I don't know, but I believe that most everybody took an art class at some point in their life. Whether it was finger painting as a 5-year-old, or as we got into grade school, we might have done some of that perspective stuff, you know, where we try to like draw lines of boxes so it looks like it's 3-dimensional. That's called perspective, right? When you go from something that's close to, to near and it changes in size because of how far away you are. And then there's all these really crazy optical illusions, which I didn't think to bring up any of those beforehand, But there are some really cool optical illusions that are all based on perspective. But for right now, for the calming of the gray matter up here, let's talk about being aware of our perspective. Unfortunately, out here in the interwebs, in the internet, on social media of any kind, there is a lot of different perspectives out there. Now, some stuff you're going to look at and it's going to make you mad and angry. Some stuff will get you shaking your head saying, oh yes, I agree with that. Some stuff you'll be like, what? Flat earthers? I don't understand. But maybe you are a flat earther, so maybe it's I who does not— do not understand. Yeah, let's not worry about the grammar so much tonight. So our perspective is based on our reality. Our reality is based on our experience. Our experience are the things that we learn through throughout our life. One of the most common things we talk about, or one of the most common things that comes up when we talk about learning things, is generally we learn by mistakes. So if you have ever put your hand or any part of your body on something extremely hot that will cause a burn, you learn very quickly, hopefully, that if it's burning, take your hand off of it. So that is one way that we learn. And that is something that we put under our belief system. So we have a thought, so like, okay, something is hot, and then we're told by our parents most likely, or a teacher says, don't touch the hot thing. And we don't know that, so we've just got this belief system floating out here, and then we touch the hot thing and we burn ourselves, and that gives us one piece of support of that thing. And then from time to time We forget that we weren't supposed to touch the hot thing and we do it again. And now we've got more things that will support that belief system. And as we go through life, we have different beliefs and then we have different things that support those things. So our perspective is not going to be exactly the same as somebody else's because you and I have different experience throughout our life. So, That is one way to look at perspective, is that your perspective and my perspective are different. So like I said, I'm not looking at the chat, so if Jamie's out there, uh, or whether he's not, I'm going to talk about him. So Jamie is a man of God. Jamie knows the Bible and he studies the Bible, and there's words in the Bible and verses in the Bible that he knows, right? I do not. I am a Christian, however, I don't know Well, I know— no, I really don't. I don't know my Psalms and my chapters and Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and which things are where, right? I know the Psalms are basically lots of how-to, and— but I couldn't like point you to a specific one for anything. Jamie, on the other hand, could say, oh yes, John 14, and therefore so on and so forth, whatever John 14 actually says. So because we have different perspectives, it's like, I understand there's a Bible out there. I understand, and I've read actually lots of it, but I don't have it to memory. I'm guessing that Jamie could lead me to a specific scripture on probably just about anything. For me, I'd have to look it up. So my knowing of something as simple as the Bible, or as complex as the Bible depending on what you look at, I can say to me the Christian Bible is a very good self-help how-to book for the parts that I have read. Jamie, on the other hand, could probably say, okay, Brooke, you want to know about love? Go to Corinthians something or other, right? Because we've heard that in many weddings. Or you want to know about friendship or honoring your husband and wife or, or, or, and then he could just put you into specific things. So what is my point? When we talk about our perspective or we're listening to somebody else's, we have to remember that what we think we know, which is our experience, is going to be different than somebody else's. For example, I had a student today and she does not like guns and guns freak her out. And she is afraid of them. And yes, she's still coming for lessons, but as I'm talking to her, I have to remember that there was a time when I was afraid of guns and they freaked me out because I didn't know how to touch them or do anything with them. So as her instructor, I needed to make sure that we found the common ground. So the way I do that is, oh yes, I remember when I used to feel that way, but then I found that by understanding how it works and not being afraid of touching it anymore gave me the ability to like my firearms and not be afraid of them and build my confidence. And I also told her, I'm like, not like I'm gonna make you like this. Either you're gonna like it or you're not. You're gonna gain confidence or you're gonna give up. I can't determine that part, but one of our challenges in today's society is meeting people where they're at and remembering that you and I are going to have different perspectives on things, like whether 9mm is a real round or not, or 45 is the only thing that anyone should ever shoot. There are things that we will disagree upon from time to time. So that is kind of what I'm going for. Now, Mr. DJ, we're about 10 minutes in, just a little bit more, so by all means, if you would like to give everybody a roll call and a quick hi, that would be lovely.

Oops, right on. Happy to do that. So out there, who do you guess was first tonight? The main East Coast guy, it was the pink hand waved from Crabby Turtle. Glad to have him every week. Gizzard Gary is also in the room. Sorry if I had 93 drop it to say hello. 2 Live Moo is out there. Chris Barncato, the Atomic Punk, is out there. So is Patriot in the Dark. Diego, yeah, he's out there. Mike Ballinger is as well. Hillbilly Up and Country Rimfire in the room right now. And that is your roll call.

Awesome. All right, and, and just in case anyone didn't already know, um, if you're on Facebook, go check out, uh, Gizzard Gary because he just has the cutest little grandbabies that he's got pictures of all over the place now. And so, you know, it's always good and glad to have everybody here. Patriot in the Dark, I'm glad you could make it. And Hillbilly Up Mike. Oh, Mike. Yeah. Hope the swelling is going down. Poor Mike has been in the ER. I'm a little confused by the story. It's he broke his wrist when he was a kid. He went to go get it fixed. And with surgery, and it's not healing quite as well. So yeah. Oh, and there's the Jamie. And Jamie, you're gonna have to go watch the replay, talk about all the things that I just talked about you for. Yeah. So let's see. So as far as comments go, sorry, I used to be an atheist. However, a lot of them believe in gun control, so it was short-lived. Well, so this is one of those things— guns are not for everyone, and it's like vanilla and chocolate ice cream. Heck, you might not even like ice cream. I know that feels like ridiculousness, but some people don't even like ice cream. Just like food, there isn't any one thing that fits everyone. So in general, we just have to remember Our expectations, the things we like and make sense to us, do not make sense to somebody else. One of the conversations I have with my students all the time is how to grip the gun, and they're like, this is not comfortable. And I'm like, no, it's actually not natural and easy to assume. It takes time and skill to do the things. But when we're just shown action movies where everybody picks up guns, pulls the trigger, they go bang, everyone hits their targets and it's just magic. We have unrealistic expectations of how this should go. Now, when we are talking about our perspective, we can't control what anybody else does. We can't control how anyone else feels. Now, for Hillbilly Up, what does he say? Make someone's day better. So we can do our best to help make people feel better, and that's by being kind, being courteous, being respectful. Respectful can be challenging in some communities because what one person's respect is somebody else's diss. So it is hard. However, let's talk about what's going on in our noggin to start with. Let's say you're mad and cranky. Well, I found this lovely little list of how to instantly feel better. So I am angry. I can guarantee you if I start singing, I will feel better. Now, I know DJ won't sing to us, but I know that DJ will sing from time to time, and I am just curious, DJ, do you ever get mad and realize that if I just start singing and belting one out, you will feel better?

Never. I would always love to hear you sing. As a matter of fact, didn't I ask when I saw you, like, came into the pre-chat, just like, we're rocking out, I don't hear any tunes? Yeah, I know it brings a smile to your face, and I'm glad. And I have, I have on more than one occasion sung something on this very channel. It's just, it's a rare opportunity, so you have to tune in, bring a friend.

Okay, all right, all right. So, um Yeah, so our perspective is paying attention to how we are feeling as well. Burned out is the next one, and it says take a walk. Now, to be fair, if I'm angry and I start singing and walking around, I'm probably going to feel better faster. Overthinking. Well, I know for sure that when I cannot sleep at night, often, not always, it's because I'm overthinking about stuff. And if I get up and I just go write stuff down, it definitely helps me get stuff out of my head. Now here's the fun fact about writing stuff down instead of just letting it run around in your head over and over in that little circle. It feels like it's on a hamster wheel when you're thinking about lots of stuff. If you physically write it down, it does actually allow you to get stuff out of your head. The other part of taking the time to write something down actually helps create neural pathways in your brain. So that you can actually accomplish some of the things that you've been thinking about. So for example, right now is a legislative session here in Connecticut. So every so often I'm like, oh great, there's gonna be more bills that I get to testify against or testify for, because we do have some for bills out there, like being able to carry in state parks. We try to go do that every year. Um, it hasn't passed, but we still try.. And so my brain was thinking, I'm like, all right, what am I going to say in this one? And if I get up, go write it down and get it out of my head, I can then usually go back to sleep. So when you are overthinking, writing stuff down definitely helps. It gives you that checklist. I think this is valid for dudes and for girls. So, um, anxious breathing. I have lots of students who get very anxious over handling firearms because it's scary when you don't understand how they work, and a lot of people have trepidation around firearms. So anxious— I always, I often make sure that as students are handling firearms, I give them cues as when to breathe. As back to our theme of perspective, you need to start being aware if you're feeling anxious and have that skill set to remind yourself to breathe as needed. The next thing on the list is stressed, exercise. Without a doubt. Who here? All right, this one I'm actually going to turn the chat back on for me. When it talks about being stressed and exercise, who here thinks that punching a heavy bag is something that Sounds like great exercise if you are stressed, right? So when I see stress and I see exercise, I am totally thinking I'm gonna go put my boxing gloves on and go punch stuff. Or if I'm stressed, if I run, because part of our stress response is the fact that we've got that fight or flight thing going on. And in our current situation and within society, we are not really allowed to physically fight anyone. So when you are stressed, exercise is absolutely another way to get rid of that stress. And like I said, my favorite would be punching a heavy bag with or without gloves. Usually it's a little— you can last longer as long as you put the gloves on. All right, so my question to you: if you are feeling stressed, what kind of exercise would make you feel better. Now I'm looking around because I was looking for one of my stress balls, but I have this one instead. So something as simple as squeezing the heck— like, this one is kind of funny because you squeeze it and it kind of just expands further. So it's something you can exercise just your hands with. But there is— there's lots of ways we can exercise. If you are sad, we talked about this a little bit last week, gratitude, being thankful for those things you have. If you don't feel well, gratitude and remembering what to be thankful for. Now, some people— sorry, see, I told you I was going to actually look at the comments now. So Abigail says, shouldn't I— so I shouldn't chug Four Lokos and fight crackheads in the Circle K? I'm not judging. You know, exercise is exercise. You know, we all have our different types of exercise. And I'm like, not having fought any crackheads at the Circle K, I'm guessing it's got to be decent amounts of exercise for sure. Moo, stress, do house projects. That makes sense. What was it? I was talking to a friend of mine and they were talking about they do angry cleaning. Like when they get mad or something, um, and, uh, they will literally, like, they'll be mad at something and they will do stress cleaning. And so stress house projects also very acceptable, I believe. Um, I'm absolutely with Patriot in the Dark on this one. When you're stressed, hang up the phone, but it's not the same as an old phone. There is something to be said about being able to slam a phone down on a receiver And yeah, actually, I was in a hotel this weekend where they had old phones in the hallway if you wanted to call. So there was that one, but it's been forever and it's really not the same anymore. All right. Lazy in a cold shower. I'm not sure if I can handle that. I can. It's like if I'm lazy, the chance of me getting up to get in a cold shower to get motivated, probably are not. And the last one, impatient and reflecting on progress. That kind of cracks me up because in the back room before we got started, DJ and I were just talking about how I am trying to pay attention to how I am using my time. So for being impatient, and I am impatient with the idea that I am not getting enough done because there is so much to get done. So here's my list of things that I've done since I came to my office at 6 o'clock, and it's actually a fair amount of stuff. So it's working, but being impatient, it helps if you follow your stuff. Uh, yeah, so when Abigail is stressed listen to music, and play Ace Combat 7. I'm gonna guess that Ace Combat 7 is probably a first shooter game since I'm not a big video game person. But yeah, I mean, when I was pregnant and I had to sit around a lot, I definitely— sorry, I'm not gonna look at Hillbilly right now. I did play with my husband because there was some game that we played that I had to be the helicopter pilot so he could shoot things. Um, so yeah, but, uh, and depending on what kind of music— and also different music will totally make it so your stress goes away. I know I use music to get motivated, I get music to move, I get music to meditate. Obviously— well, not obviously, but for me, definitely not all the same things. Um, oh, so I looked briefly at what Hillbilly had said, and I expected it to say When I'm stressed, I listen to Taylor Swift and drink a hard seltzer. But no, he was just joking. So, um, yeah. So, uh, don't let your stress boil over to the point you snap at your loved ones. Yeah, it's really awful that the people who are closest to us are usually the ones who take the brunt of our frustration. Hence, back to being aware of what perspective we're walking into a room with. So if things are not going well, walk away from your loved ones, go find a good game to play or something along those lines. All right, Ace Combat dogfight game, cool, thank you. Um, yeah, stress, play The Sims or Ocarina of Time. Uh, I, I play puzzle games. I play really, really stupid puzzle games. It's like, and when I say stupid, I just mean like literally trying to fit one piece into the next, and then you have to build something, or you're just trying to find the pieces that match or something. Um, ooh, metal is good, metal is awesome. And I'm gonna go with this is, uh, Hillbilly's understanding that yes, him listening to Taylor Swift while drinking a hard cider— or sorry, a hard seltzer— is hysterical because that's not gonna happen. All right, so there you go. There's a couple things for you to noodle upon today, this weekend, for the next week until I see you again. Um, at the top of this hour, Mr. Hillbilly Up has his, uh, gang of folks who will be chatting about who knows what. Oh, and Mark Thomas joins us as I'm getting ready to say goodbye. But I got to say hi to you last night on Jamie's show when I was referring to, look at all these beautiful beards. That was kind of that. All right. So just in recap, be aware of your perspective. Understand that our perspective is not the same as your perspective because we've all got different experiences. So simple ways to be aware of what's going on and have options for you to change your perspective from time to time, or your feelings. So if we are angry, try to sing. If we're burned out, take a walk. If you find yourself overthinking, write it down, get it out of your head. If you're feeling anxious, ah, take a nice breath. And I do find the breathing works even better if you make noise while doing it. If you are stressed, exercise in whichever way that you want, whether it's finding the crackheads at the Circle K or going for a run or punching a heavy bag. Exercise. If you are sad, remember all of the things in your life that are worthwhile, that are gratitude, such as, I don't know, you just took a breath and you're 6 feet above and not 6 feet under. If you are lazy and you can get yourself to a cold shower, God bless. I think I need to send you a prize if you get to that one. And if you are feeling impatient with yourself or others, reflect on the project progress you have actually made. So I also like— Sariah fans, listen to Bob Ross. Yes, we need to have beautiful little clouds, little, little clouds and little, little trees and a little dab here and a little dab there. Yeah, so Bob Ross is Iconic for sure. And thank you, Mark Thomas. Um, ah, thanks. I didn't read the whole thing before I clicked on that. So yes, I was on to a, um, I was going to a gala on Thursday night. Thursday night? Yeah, Thursday night. Um, so it was lovely. So yes, I was actually all dressed up in a dress and everything, right? And yes, Abigail, punching bags are awesome. I like speed bags myself. Those are the most fun to me. But anyway, DJ, is your turn to do the things that you do. Uh, if you'd like to mention anything else, of course you are welcome to.

I think I'm good this week, but I do have something that I'm going to roll past everybody next week, and that's when they bring a friend, same time Saturday night, come and check us out before you go see Hillbilly Up or the other shows, or do the do that you do when you need to do on a Saturday night. Tonight joining us was Crabby Turtle, Gizzy Gary, Sorryfan93, 2 Live Moo, Chris Broncato, The Atomic Punk, Patriot in the Dark was here, so was Viejo, Mike Ballinger, Hillbilly Up, Country Room Fire Plus, JH586, AJ, Abigail Storch Finnegan in the room, and so is Mark Thomas. That rounds us out for this week. Please everybody, be safe, have fun, take care of yourself and your crew, and rock!

We're out.