Mental Health Matters - Bingo! It's Sat Night

Apparently I'm going to knock things off of my, my, my desk. That's where I'm sitting. I'm sitting at my desk. Y'all have seen me here before. Um, welcome to Mental Health Matters. It is Saturday night, 9 PM Eastern, every Saturday since 2018. Who knew? And you know, that's a little bit of what tonight is going to be about. Who knew? Um, welcome to Mental Health Matters. Why are we here? Well, because so many people don't know that 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are actually suicide, not violence. But suicide is violence, but you know what I mean, um, or at least I hope you do. Otherwise, I have faith you can figure it out. How about that? So if 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides, imagine if on a regular basis we talk about mental health. Imagine for a moment that everybody stops fighting about things they disagree on and focus on things that can make a change. Now, I've already been teaching all day, so hold please. I am already losing my voice and it's, I'm only halfway through my day. So pray for me a little bit. Although when you're watching this as a replay, so I'm playing bingo right now. Anyway, for tonight, what we're gonna talk about is the importance of understanding how important you are. Oh, hold on, hold on. I'm doing this on my own because it's pre-recorded and because right now I'm putting family first and I'm at a bingo game, which is my daughter's last senior year in high school, and we're at volleyball bingo right now raising funds for the volleyball team. So DJ usually puts us up there. I have faith though. DJ's over there in the chat, you know, Facebook's down there, YouTube's over there. I don't know. So, um, Mental Health Matters since 2018. So last month, August, I am currently in a— what do you call that? Um, I'm currently in a challenge, and it's called the Goal Digger Challenge. And some of you who follow my channel, I just put up sit-ups at the range, and that was part of my Gold Digger Challenge. Week 2 was 100 crunches that day, and in the most interesting place you could think of. So with a gun in your hand on the range, that seemed interesting to me. So Bombshell is this group of people, and we are working on fitness and fitness goals and making ourselves stronger, and physically, mentally, all of those things. And the Gold Digger Challenge is about taking big goals and chop them down to little things, and then having our action items where we can do the things we're meant to do, right? So we've talked a little bit about goals from time to time on here, but the big picture is, I want to go back to being an athlete, and the little goals are choosing what I put in my mouth, what foods I'm going to eat, what water I'm going to drink, or soda, right? Those are all decisions that I get to make to make myself stronger. Having those conversations with ourselves, right? Mental health matters. All of us need to pay attention to what's going in here. So with that, um, being part of this Bombshell Community, one of the things that happened last month, the week of my birthday actually, I don't know if that was coincidental by my coach or not, but I got nominated as the Bombshell of the Week. Now, I was hoping to give you clips of what this other coach said about me, but unfortunately it got taken down for some reason. I'm trying to get it, but I didn't know I was nominated for Bombshell of the Week. I didn't know what I was nominated for. So Facebook, as it is, I'm tagged. So hold please. I go to this post that I'm tagged in and I watched the video and there's this very lovely lady, Jessie, and she's going through all the different Bombshells. So I'm not the only Bombshell of the week, just so we're clear. I'm just one of 3, I think, for that week, but it was my birthday week, so that was extra special. So Jesse comes on and she's like, oh, Katrin, uh, nominated Brooke Cheney for Bombshell of the Week. And just so we're clear, this is the first time I even knew a bombshell— that there was a Bombshell of the Week. But, and I'm like, oh, that's really cool. And the way it works is Jesse's now reading what Kat said about me, and it was all stuff I didn't realize that I was doing. And kind of my idea for tonight is say something. If you see someone doing something awesome, let them know. People who are awesome, right, are usually not paying attention to the stuff that they're doing. So Jesse starts reading what Kat said, and the short version of what I can remember, because I did watch it more than once I just wish that I had downloaded it. But the short version is I got nominated for Bombshell of the Week by Kat because I am getting to the gym, putting my fitness first in preparation for having knee surgery. And it's just like, well, that makes sense to me because, you know, I talked to the surgeons, what the surgeons say. Surgeon said the less weight you have on your body, the better your recovery is going to be. And so that immediately became a goal. I've been fighting with my weight since 2005 because 2005 is when I got pregnant and I took that eating for two a little too seriously. Like 80 pounds of too seriously. Uh, pre-pregnancy weight was like 185, and I wanted to get down to like 165, 175 then. And then I started eating for two, and it was 195, and then 200, and then 225, and 250. And when my children were born, I was up to 265 pounds. Not pretty, not good for my body. Part of why I need the knee replacement, right? So in my brain, for 19 years now— because that's my eldest, is 19— I've been going up and down. 260, 240, 220, 240, 240, 260, 220. That's been 19 years of doing that. So last year I got on drugs. The, uh, the injectables, the GLP-1s. Mine is called Wegovy, and it really helped me finally get over all of the things because I've always known what to do, but I had to join this community of Bombshell in order to focus, and I have to do these challenges in order to focus. So the challenge is there to help me focus. Getting nominated for bombshell of the week was just like, what? Someone's noticing what I'm doing? But I'm just doing what I need to do. I'm not really trying to get attention because I'm going to the gym even though I need knee surgery. But Jesse's reading this thing and she's like, she's reading what Kat said and then she's like, I just have to say that there are people out there that will not go to the gym because they get a headache and Brooke needs a whole new knee and so that means she's in pain probably most of the time, which is true. Not always, but mostly. And, and she's going anyway. And so tonight I just want to remind you, whatever you're doing that you think is just, oh, I'm just doing it anyway, which is what I do all the time— pot kettle black, something in here— do as I say, not as I do. Number one, if you can acknowledge yourself, that's awesome. But it's hard for us to acknowledge ourselves, right? A lot of times it's like, just doing what I normally do, doesn't seem like a big deal. And if you're watching someone who is like that, like, you're like, oh my gosh, they're so amazing because of this, whatever this thing is, let them know, because they don't know. Chances are they don't know because I have also recently come into contact with folks, and Fiona's out there. If Fiona's out there, I know she knows what I'm about to talk about. In that, come across people who are more than happy to tell you how awesome they are. And I met this in a salesperson, and it was— I'm like, I didn't really pay that much attention, but the more they told me how awesome they were at what they did, the more I realized they kind of really weren't. So when people are beating their own chests and saying, look how great I am, I'm like, oh, good for you, I'm glad you have that confidence. And then there's part of me that's just like, I don't think if you are really good at something you need to tell everybody how great you are at it. But that's me with my limitations of what I think that feels like, right? So what is all of this, right? So mental health, 2 out of 3 gun deaths, suicides. Okay, why is that? Well, because suicide is our inability to communicate and believe that anything is possible. So how do we prevent that? With our mental health stuff and being aware that you need to be picked up from time to time. Everybody falls down. Everybody needs to be that hand that reaches out from time to time for one of two reasons. One, so you can grab my hand and pull me up if I need it, right? Two, so I can grab your hand and pull you up if needed. This is the beauty of the open hand. There is a story. I don't remember all of it exactly, but the short version is this: if my hand is open, you can place things in— it's my water bottle cap— and you can take things away. Now, that's the gratitude hand, in that I will allow whatever needs to go in there. Darn stupid voicemail, I don't really want that in there. But anyway, or I can give whatever is needed to someone else. When my hand is closed, the only thing that happens is I have what's in there, and that's all I have. I can't have more, I can't have less. That's all I've got. So here we are on Mental Health Matters. Y'all are chatting aside, DJ's dropping links. That's how tonight goes. I'm playing bingo, that sort of stuff. And it's just interesting to listen to, right? When I had someone praising me online and someone saying, good job, Brooke, I'm like, oh my gosh, I never looked at it that way. And how cool is that? And that's really neat that someone else thinks what I'm doing and taking for granted, because I kind of am. I mean, I know it's hard work, I know I have to do the work, but I also know how often I fail, right? And we beat ourselves up for that. I know how, well, maybe I'm not doing as good as they think that I am, so maybe I don't really deserve the praise because, well, I'm doing okay, I'm not doing that great, I could always do better. And that's where the thief comes in. Instead of just saying, wow, I did a good job and someone noticed. Good for me. Little pat on the back, stand a little taller. Yep, that's me. I did good. Enjoy that. And I kind of did that week. I really did. But because we're talking about mental health, I just want to share with you where I get stuck in these things, right? And I know you probably are more confident and never have these doubts in your head and probably don't fight with yourself as often as I do in my own head. Or maybe you do. Anything is possible. So short version— there's never a short version with me. You guys all been here long enough. Although as far as G2/3 is concerned, then this is already too short because it's only about 13 minutes or so. Uh, oh, and DJ, see, it's coming up to that time. So if you just want to say hi to everybody in the chat in about 2 more minutes, I will just be quiet for a moment and we'll pay attention to the chat. Oh, and by the way, for those of you watching on Facebook, apologies, but since DJ's not in here with me, the chat's just going to be over on the Facebook— or on the YouTube side. So if you want to see your name, A, say hi right now in the chat wherever it happens to be, and then B, then that way it makes easier for, uh, DJ to cut and paste. Maybe, I don't know. This could go terribly wrong, but I'm playing bingo right now, so I won't know if it went terribly wrong. All right, DJ, I'll give you a minute or two. I'm gonna say it's 14:31 right now, so at 15:31 I'll be quiet for a minute so you can put things in the chat. Maybe we'll see. All right, because I have a hard time being quiet. All right, so does any of this sound familiar? Does any of this sound like things that go on in your own head? Someone gives you a compliment You're like, oh yeah, thanks. And you brush it off because you don't think you're worthy, you're not good enough, whatever. Or someone gives you a compliment, you're like, ah, thank you, yes I am. And then you feel weird for saying thank you, yes I am. Me too. So learning how to accept compliments is often challenging. Being willing to give compliments hopefully is easier for most of us because part of that, uh, I guess I'm gonna call it insecurity that we have about being good enough, um, is because we're comparing ourselves to somebody else. Because I will pick on Hillbilly if he's out there. For example, Hillbilly does a 3-hour, 2-hour show, 3-hour show, I don't know, I never stay up past usually the first hour. Sometimes it's 2 hours. Um, but like, and he's got a crazy channel where he's got tons of stuff. He's editing, he's filming, he's doing all of these things. My friend Charlie from Writing Shot from Charlie, same deal. He puts up stuff all the time. He's got 5 cameras going, he's got to edit all this stuff, he writes, he does all that. And it's just like, oh my gosh. And they do all of this stuff and I'm like, what do I do? Once a Saturday I pop on, I do a little live thing. We chat a little bit and I go off. And it's so much easier to say, look at what they did, versus, oh, good job, good job showing up. And that's a big deal because when we're talking about suicide prevention, probably the number one thing that I'm aware of, of what people have talked to me about when they are suicidal is not feeling like they're enough, right? It's that they can't do whatever is their life was meant to do. Now, that is not the one and only reason, right? Some people, they don't know how to deal with what life has dealt them, hence Mental Health Matters, and we try to put little tools in your toolbox every week, or different ways to think about something. So to me, suicide, like violence actually, is the lack of ability to communicate with the most important person in your life. Y'all know who that is. I'm gonna be quiet because I gave DJ like 3 minutes, so I'm gonna be quiet now. He's gonna put your name over there. Shout out to whoever's here. While you think about who is the most important person in your life. Now, to be fair, he can just cut and paste while I'm talking still anyway. So who is the most important person in your life? Who's the number one person that you talk to all of the time everything you say to them, they listen and they hear it, and they know that you are telling the honest-to-God truth every single time, or at least as far as they're concerned, that is the case. Y'all got it. You dropped it in the chat, wherever the chat is here. Yeah, the number one person in your life that you must be able to communicate with effectively and positively and with encouragement And with understanding is you. That's it. Suicide and violence happen because we lose the ability to communicate with ourselves first, and then we've lost the ability to communicate with ourselves, and now we can't communicate with other people. And once we can't communicate with other people, that is where violence comes from. That is where our suicide comes from, because we don't believe there is a hand out there for us anywhere for us to grab onto and pull ourselves up. We do not believe that someone would be willing to take our hand, so we bring it a little bit closer to us, and then, well, bad things occur. So with that happy, joyful note, um, hi to everybody who DJ just dropped in the YouTube chat. Like I said, if you're over on Facebook, sorry guys, That is kind of going to be that. So communication, mental health matters, suicide prevention. That's what we show up here every Saturday night to talk about and try to give you some kind of little tool. So with all of the various little stories that I told tonight, my hope is number one, when someone gives you a compliment, you actually feel it, believe it, and know that it is true, at least from their point of view. And you have to respect their point of view. And even if it's your mom, because we all say moms are biased, it doesn't matter. It does matter. Your mom loves you, or, you know, hopefully. Um, so believe somebody else's opinion of you when it is a positive thing. When it's a negative thing, because goodness knows we all have those attractors, Ignore that stuff. We're not going to take that in. We're going to let that go. When you are talking to yourself, give yourself good stuff. Don't always ride and be like, oh yeah, I'm great. I don't have to do anything. We're always looking to be a little bit better and that's okay, but be happy with where you are now. Be amazed that you've gotten through as much stuff as you've gotten through in your life. Whether you're 23 or 63 or 83 or 12, life is hard. Every moment is something new. There's good stuff, there's bad stuff, but all of us get to go through so much stuff. So ready, everybody? Everybody reach up. Go ahead, reach up, bend over, pat yourself on the back. Good job. And pass it on. As DJ is so good about reminding all of us, like, share, subscribe, share this out. When this is over, feel free to throw a comment in there, or though, because it's a— I don't know if it's gonna— anyway, so yes, at the end, after it stops, put a comment back in there and just say hi. Tell me what your favorite tool is. What's your favorite compliment that you ever got? For me, obviously, the bombshell being bombshell of the week was very exciting, very kind of my my coach to nominate me for that. And then all the things that Jesse said that made me think about, huh, I guess it is kind of a big deal that I'm going to get knee replacement, which that part I already know, but then working through it anyway, right? We all have challenges. Surya is usually out there and, you know, we all have challenges. They're all different things. I know Surya's had challenges with where he's living and things like that. So It's never easy. Nobody's got it easy. So feel free to happily give compliments out to everyone you see, including like random strangers. I tell people their hair looks nice, their nails looks nice, nice outfit, stuff like that, and I get smiles for that. Now dudes, I understand it's harder for you as guys because one, guys don't usually tell other guys they look good. But, uh, as a dude, if you tell a girl she looks nice, sometimes you're gonna get slapped because they think you're hitting on them. So guys, you gotta figure out other ways to be nice. Open the door, although you can get yelled at for that too. I've seen that. That drives me crazy. So, all right, my friends, happy Saturday night. Hopefully I've won some bingo and gotten to say yay bingo, or maybe I won a raffle prize. I don't know, but I appreciate you guys. Also For those of you out there, I know Barbecue at the very least, if not others. Oh, Jamie also. Yes. I need more of these prerecorded shows. And so because of that, I would love to do interviews with you guys about stuff like Jamie. I already talked to you a little bit. I'm looking to do an episode on the joy of singing in church. Barbecue. We have so many things we could talk about, I'm not even sure where we're going to go with that, but it'll be entertaining, I'm guessing. So thanks all for popping in. Like, subscribe, share, all that fun stuff that everybody says at the end. And I will see you all live next week. Oh, maybe, maybe not. Next week is the Harlington Fair, and I'm there till 9 or 10. So next week might be live but way short. All right, talk to y'all later. Thanks. Oh, and I gotta hit the thing.