Mental Health Matters - Christmas Cards anyone?

What just happened? Oh, I know what's happening. Hold please. Um, I'm like, I saw the girl go like this and then I still heard the music and I'm like, wait, what's going on? I had the other tab open, so I'm like, wait, it's not over. But here I am. Hello everyone, happy Saturday night. Welcome to Mental Health Matters. And why are we here? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides. And if we want to truly save lives, we have to talk about mental health. So it is the Christmas season. Look, I've even got Christmas pajamas on. I was supposed to be coming from a Christmas party, but I taught all day and my back was like, no, you're not going to a party. So here I am, and thank you all for popping in. I know I looked in the chat briefly. I know I saw DJ out there and chatting with y'all pre-show, and Mike is out there, and Crabby Turtle. And then I saw a name I hadn't seen yet, um, previously. Previously, yeah, first time, you know, that whole thing. Where is he? John Z. Outcast. Wow. Yeah, I'm not even gonna—

I—

this is why I let DJ do these things and say hi to everybody. So anywho, Christmas, Christmas pajamas, Christmas cards. Wait, ready? Well, I don't have a Christmas dog, but there's the dog and there's the Christmas tree. So, um, it is the season. So let's see, it's very fun. I hope you're having fun this Christmas season. Um, I am now 1 week and 1 day from my broken toe, or having broken my toe, and it's still an interesting color of purple. And, uh, you know, this too shall pass because body parts heal most of the time. And I come in the house and my son holds up a card and it's like, it says, to the great Brooke Cheney. Uh, so, and yeah, everyone's like, don't show your address because if G-Webs is out there, which I don't know if he is or not, you're like, don't put your personal information out there. As my husband has said in the past, I cannot get doxxed. Everything is out there already, so there's just no not even worrying about that. So it made me happy to have my son be like, look, it's the great Brooke Cheney. And I thought it was very kind of my friend to send me a card. And I have another friend who always sends me silly postcards. Um, this is actually— I don't know if you can tell, depends what you're looking on, but the horse— oh, sorry, the horse, the and then there's a ski rope, and so he's basically snow skiing versus water skiing behind the horse because, you know, why not? That's what you do in Wyoming. I think that's where he is. I forget. He's somewhere out west. Yeah, my friends, you all are awesome and you are all over the country. Uh, those last two were West Coasters for sure, or at least Midwest, West Coast. But here's the thing. Christmas cards. How cool is that? You put a piece of paper into an envelope, you send it to someone, and it brings joy to them. And sometimes they're going to tell you and say, thank you for the card, I got your card. Other times you're not going to hear a peep and you're not going to know if they got them or any of that. But I will say If you happen to be the Christmas card condescending person, which I always imagined I could be, but I have yet to be that person, it makes a difference. And I wanted to talk about it tonight because I kind of want to elaborate on that. There are things that all of us do. Now, 'tis the season, you know, again, Christmas pajamas, Christmas cards, Christmas gifts. Oh yeah, uh, randomness. Ready? Bag of whole cashews. Got that in the mail. No card, no note, no nothing. Just like, awesome, someone sent us food, but we can't send a thank you note because we don't know who it is. And then a couple days later, We got candies in the mail, and this had a note. And when I called my uncle to thank him for sending us candy in the mail, he's like, oh, and I sent you some nuts too. And I'm like, oh, thank goodness, because I don't know if you guys have ever had that where it's just like random things arrive and you're like, okay, I can't thank anyone, I don't know how to thank anyone. Um, and we don't know who sent us cashews. At least we didn't until tonight when we said thank you for the chocolates that we got. So sometimes when you do stuff, you're not gonna get that thank you, and it may not even be because they don't know who sent it. Because, you know, that's, you know, if you do that on purpose, great. He didn't mean to do that. He thought they were all going to arrive together, but that wasn't that. So when we do things that we really usually don't think anything of, right? Smiling at someone— DJ almost always talks about that— smiling at someone. If you don't see a smile, be the smile kind of thing. Maybe you're gonna smile back, maybe you're not, but the intention is out there.. And because you've done some little thing that you may not have thought much of, someone may have noticed and it made them a little bit happier that day. So no matter what your thing is, whether it's sending out Christmas cards— God bless you all who do that, it's very sweet and kind and I love getting them. And every year I say the same thing, I'm like, this will be the year, yes. I swear this year I'm gonna actually send out Christmas cards. Has not happened yet. Um, and then I'm like, all right, that's it, I will send out New Year's cards. I will send out cards in January because then I will not be like everyone else, and I'll just send them to all of the people who sent me Christmas cards. It's a lovely thought, but it also has never happened. And Sometimes I will beat myself up over this. I'm like, come on, how hard is it to stick an envelope with a piece of paper in it and a card that's already made? Because, you know, you can get the cards at the dollar store for not a whole lot of money. And, uh, still hasn't happened. So here's the thing: little tiny things that we do have impact on people.. And it does not always have to be a Herculean effort. Something like sending Christmas cards is awesome to receive. And for those who do it consistently, because I have friends that do like every year, I'm always amazed. And I wish I could be that, but if it were important enough, I would make it happen. But apparently that is not my choice of blessing. It doesn't mean that it couldn't happen. But it's a nice idea. So none of us are going to do the exact same thing to bless the world, right? And so this is where that comparison thing can be the thief of your joy. Because I love my Christmas cards, I love getting my cards, they're all over the house. It's very lovely to have Christmas cards. I love the idea of giving to others, but apparently at 56— how old am I now? What year is this? 2025. Okay, I'm still only 55. Okay, um, because yeah, I really don't know because I just don't, uh, 55 years. Probably started receiving cards when I was 13 and I went away to school. My grandma would send me cards on every holiday., and I'm like, oh, it just makes my heart so happy. I should do that. I do from time to time. It's just not that often. And I wish that I could do it on a regular basis, and I can do it on a regular basis, but I serve others in different ways. For example, I'm here for you guys every Saturday since 2018. Yay. Um, and yeah, I do my best to do that smiling thing and make eye contact and give random people random, uh, what is that called, compliments. Yeah, words. Like I said, I've been teaching all day. And when we pay attention to all of the ways that we give, sometimes we're going to understand people give back to us. Other times, the people we give to are not the ones who are going to give back to us because they're gonna pass it down the line. Oh, I haven't talked about this in forever. Have you guys ever seen the movie Pay It Forward? Let us know in the chat because DJ is watching the chat because I'm trying to stay on my notes. Um, yeah, I know I'm rambling, and yet there's notes for real. So Pay It Forward is a very cool movie, and the idea is if I do something nice for you, like my, my adorable little, you know, card that says The Great Brooke Cheney, which made my kids chuckle, which then made me chuckle, I may not send that person back a card, but I may remember to pick up and send another card to someone else. And the short version of Pay It Forward— and sorry, I didn't look to see DJ, what do we got? Does anybody say they've seen Pay It Forward? Um, sorry, and then I went to the starred stuff, hence I'm looking. So, uh, New York Outcast, and I've been told my card is the only card some people get. I recommend sending some. Exactly. And that's just it, is like people don't do cards as often as they did. And I will send them randomly. I just am not good at the whole Christmas card thing. And the unexpected things can make a big difference because, for example, our bag of cashews. Didn't know who it was from, just very thoughtful that someone just sent us something. And Yeah, and Christmas cards from businesses also. It depends on your relationship with your business. It's like, I have a card that my insurance company sends me every year, and I'm like, that's an expensive card. Um, but all right, so sorry, back to, um, what's the movie's name? Oh yeah, Pay It Forward. The short version is, if I have a dollar and I give it to you I don't expect you to give me back the dollar. However, when you then come across someone who needs 50 cents, you then help people with that 50 cents. And then when that person— and it's not— I mean, money is just a way to talk about it, but it's like, that is not the only way. It's— we all have different skills. Like, is Mark Thomas out there? I don't know. Oh, DJ. Get ready, we'll do the roll call in just a minute. But, um, everybody here has a different skill set, and there's different ways that we can be blessings. And as great as the Christmas cards are, there's always another way. Like I said, I will send random cards to people, little notes of, hey, how are you doing, um, kind of thing. Um, Sounds like a chick flick. Do you have a man flick reference? Um, do I have a man— Fight Club? No, I don't think Fight Club is quite the right one. Uh, or is it? Because what is, what is Fight Club? Let's see, Fight Club is the, uh, we don't talk about Fight Club, and you respect one another, and you beat the crap out of each other, and you're giving someone else your pain as they're inflicting their pain, or something like that. So I suppose Fight Club could work. Does that work well enough for a non-chick flick? Um, but all right, DJ, if you'd be so kind, sir, uh, it is— we're almost 15 minutes in, so I would love for you to do the roll call.

Sure thing. Uh, first in the room tonight was John Z, the Pennsylvania Outcast. Crabby Turtle's out there in the room wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Mike Bellinger's with us tonight, so is G23 Reviews. Sorry, a fan 93. New York Outcast is out there, so is Abigail Sorcha Finnegan. Taryn Gomez is in the room. Hillbilly Up is here, and so is Jamie JH586. And I think that your uncle erroneously mailed those cashews to the wrong address.

You can forward them. Are you a big cashew fan as well, DJ?

I get a bag from my mom every Christmas or birthday. They're close together, so for one or the other, I get one every year. And I got a question. Where is the— what did you say, the Midwest West Coast? Is that— is Midwest West Coast like Nevada?

Well, no, I just meant from the Middle West-ish to the West Coast is what I meant. Um, so wait, where was— we've got, uh, Washington, so that's full West Coast. And then— oh, he's in Colorado, my friend who gets dragged around by the horse for skiing. That one is Colorado. So, you know, past Mississippi is what I was talking about. That's, that's West, anything past Mississippi, the river, not just the state. So that's, that's my geographical— geographical— yeah, and I didn't even start drinking tonight, I swear. Um, that is my geography. Is past the Mississippi is west.

But does that make sense? I am, and I'd buy it, sure.

Okay. All right, we'll see. Now, note to self, I can— I, I can— so what I can do is I can just take a card, sprinkle some of these in there, and then send it to you, and then you will have some. So wait, not, not what? But not so much, uh, chocolates? No, you may keep those. Oh, there's white chocolate and dark chocolate and, and, and milk chocolate and caramel, and it's all yummy. Oh, and then there's Sean's favorite is dark chocolate with the coconut. So, but yeah, so cashews, man, good to know, good to know. But yeah, it was really funny because got a bag, our name is spelled wrong, and we have a friend who will send us stuff from time to time, and it's usually food stuff. But usually he sends some ridiculous note with it that some— I can't— it's usually an off-color reference of something, but it's also usually hysterical. So, but yeah, we just— it's so many options. All right, so, uh, pay it forward. Have you— oh wait, DJ, I didn't ask, did you see it?

How do you know what I have? No one in the crowd is still said that they've seen it, and it's a movie— Kevin Spacey is the star. He's a junior high social studies teacher, I think, and he challenges his kids to come up with an idea that could change the world. And the student comes up with the idea of paying favors forward. And the movie does a really good job of being more than, you know, simply heartwarming. So I'd rank that as a decent holiday watch if people have some time off or Gotcha, gotcha.

And is New Year's Outcast correct though? It is just sort of a chick flick for sure. Well, as a chick, I have a harder time deciding which things are chick flicks and which are not. No, I don't, I don't think it is. Okay. Um, yeah, and I mean, Taryn said that, uh, oops, sorry. Yeah, uh, we clicked at the same time. It's been a long time. And yeah, it came out a long time ago, like long, long time ago as far as I know. I haven't seen it. 2000. Okay. Um, and it's one of those things where it's just like, I don't know, I've— I think I've only seen it once or twice ever, but it's just like I've always loved the idea. Do you remember any of the things? Like, it seemed like some guy, I gave away his car at one point or something, but but they were always like different.

I don't— it's been at least that 20-something years since I've seen it.

Yeah, so, um, but, uh, what do you— what do you think is when New York asked— Outcast asked for a, um, non-Jake flick? Fight Club? Does that count? I don't know, that's all I can think of. Yeah, that'll count as a dude flick. Yeah, but I mean, as far as like, yeah, it— how do you share? Well, you I mean, if you can fight and get beat up, I figure that's a skill set that not everybody has. Or at least I know I don't want to find out if I have that skill set. I don't know, DJ, can you fight? Can you throw down?

I don't know. Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been called to do so, but yeah.

I'm very happy to say this has only been slapped once in anger. Well, maybe twice, and it was a short-lived fight, but it was, uh, interesting. I just wanted my room and somebody would not leave my room when I was in boarding school. So, all right, sir. Um, Cashews, what else do you like for Christmas? Now I need to know because it's your birthday and Christmas, all of that in December.

Safe travel for all of my friends and their families. And hopefully happy experiences for them around the holidays because it's really stressful. And too often, too many of my friends somewhere over the course of the holidays are having a bad time with family or some other stressors. So yeah, I just want everybody to have a good time.

Yeah, and, uh, that is awesome. All right, onwards. Let's go. I'm gonna go look at my notes even. Aren't you impressed? You asked me if I had notes and I didn't want to talk to you earlier, but now I have them. So, um, here we go. How awesome is it that someone else thinks of me or my family? And just the act of thinking of someone else is a beautiful thing. Now I know you said G2-3 is out there, which I'm super excited about. Not that I'm not excited to see everybody else. He'll Be a Hillbilly, Surya fan, um, Abigail, and, and everybody else that DJ just mentioned. But G2-3, I need to let you know, you're gonna be so excited. Uh, the 20— what the heck is the date? Hold on, I gotta look. Uh, GG3, the 27th. You have to get here. Oh, and Hillbilly, I also have to apologize. I'm just going to apologize ahead of time. On the 27th, this past week, um, I did an interview with Mike Sudini and it went over the hour. So on the 27th, um, that is going to be a long, uh, Mental Health Matters. And, um, and I just figured G23 would be totally excited all about that. Wait, did I miss something? Oh, happy birthday, G23. Um, yesterday we— so in my family, the actual birthday doesn't matter as much because we believe in birthday week or birthday month. So, um, in general, you know, happy birthday, and this is the beginning of happy birthday week if your actual birthday was yesterday. And to be fair, in our family we go with birthdays. Um, I don't know, mine's on the 18th of August. We sort of have birthday month, so I say you stretch it out. I'm going with that. Um, all right, uh, Hillbilly, glad to hear it because I haven't finished editing it yet, so I'm not sure, but I think it's almost like an hour and a half. So, um, And there is that on the 27th, and we have a big family dinner that day, so that's— I'm gonna put Mike Cidini on there. I'm super excited because it was, um, look at all you December babies. See, it's, it's, it's birthday month for all— not all, but a lot of folks. Um, yeah, all you December babies, I always feel bad for you because it's like, I feel like you get gypped. Because you get birthday presents and you get Christmas presents all at the same time. For those of us who have all the other months of the year, um, we at least get to spread out our birthdays and not have to share them with Jesus. So there's that. But, uh, my mom even has a January birthday, in the early January, New Year's kind of thing. She's on the 5th. But yes, happy birthday to everybody who is born. Yeah, let's just go with that. Oh, look at you, Abigail, you are also— yeah, uh, early January or late January. So, all right, so that is it. I'm sorry, the 18th of August also, or 18th of December? Oh, Gizzard Gary, um, also January. Look at you guys. Your parents— never mind, I'm not going to talk about your parents. All right, all right, I'm gonna— yeah, back to notes, back notes. All right, oops, I forgot to take that down. Um, can I click on it? I cannot click on it. Hold on, go back there, remove. All right, there we go, back to notes. Ta-da! I can talk and mess up what I'm looking at all the same time. All right, so birthdays in December, happy birthday, GT3. For real, that's it. I wish I had known because I would have said I got you a birthday present. It's a long, long, uh, Mental Health Matters, because out of everybody, GT3 is absolutely the one who has, you know, he's always, you know, joking and he's like, we need to have you like on for 3 hours or something. I'm like, dude, you got to remember 2018, you You know how long the show was? 5, sometimes 10 minutes, and that was it. So the fact I get to a full half hour is, well, if I do 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 600% more than it used to be. So, um, but the problem is now that you guys usually are here for about half an hour, the hour and a half is only 300% more, but you know, incremental changes. That is the way that everything changes. So happy birthday to everybody. Um, definitely enjoy the season as best as you can. And as DJ already talked about, yes, it can be hard being around family. We're supposed to be having fun and excitement and enjoying each other's company and celebrating. And sometimes it's a challenge because you don't get to choose your family. And I can love on all of my family. I do not have to like all of my family. And I think that's one of the things that stresses people out is that they, oh, I have to put up with Aunt Sue. Or Aunt Jane or Aunt Whoever or Cousin Jimmy or whatever, whoever it is that drives you crazy at holiday events. But the thing to remember, at least one of the things I highly suggest y'all remember, this too shall pass. Whether it is the joyousness of you're super excited about seeing a sibling Or it's the dread of seeing a sibling, because we all have the siblings if we have more than one. And sometimes that can be the same sibling, the dread or the, the joy. And whether it's the happiness or the, the frustration, it's like it's only temporary. It's like your joy is in here. Sometimes it's easier to be joyful when the people around you are joyful, absolutely. Um, but just remember, your joy is in here. Oh wait, I have my little, um, I know you all can't see it, it's way too small, or at least I don't think you can see it because I'm on a small screen, but this is a compass. And when I got it this summer for birthday week, month, ha, um, to remind me of we're always on track to be exactly where we're meant to be at this point in time. Because for those of you who are atheists, just, just plug your ears, this will be fine. But God always has a plan. There is always a way through, over, or around whatever struggle you are dealing with. Unfortunately, most of us never get to see that until after we've gone through, over, or around the thing. When we look back and have our hindsight that is 20/20, it becomes a little bit easier. So happy birthday to all of you December, January babies. Um, and, uh, yeah, let's see. Ready? Someone who's dealing with an estranged sister. The holidays are a bit complicated this year. Everybody. Yeah. Every family has its stuff, right? And you're the only one who's in control of how you feel about it and what you focus on. And where is it? I have a book called Closer to God Each Day. It has 365 days of things I could read. I think the 10th was the first day that I picked up and read it in multiple years. And it was lovely because when I picked it up, it basically said, pay attention to what you are paying attention to. Because when we focus on the good in life, we get more of that. When we focus on the what sucks in life, we get more of that. When we focus on the challenges we get more of that. When we focus on the solutions, we get more of that. I know I can sound like a broken record sometimes, but be aware of the parts that you're paying attention to. Take that mental note. It's like, there are times— I'm looking at my dog— I'll be sitting here and the dog will just start barking because he hears something I don't hear. Makes me jump out of my skin. I'm like, ah, stupid dog, rargh, and I'm not happy with the dog. And there are other times when I hear something before he hears it and I'm ready for it. So if you've got challenging family, et cetera, coming forward, you know you're gonna be in stressful situations, think about it ahead of time. Figure out what is the best way I can get through this event, whatever it is. Um, and yeah, like GG3 says, I don't deal with the family so I don't have to deal with the drama. And sometimes that is the answer. Um, uh, sorry. And then, uh, Abigail can't say to be disappointed if my older brother kept his distance from the rest of us for our lives. Yeah, I get it. Um, family is hard, but you can figure it out. All right, so DJ, would you like to say hello and goodbye to everybody? Um, and is there anything else that you and I talked about recently that we should continue to talk about? Because I forget. Was there any—

because I know there weren't much notes, but You pretty much hit everything that we had, that I had marked at least, and a few that I hadn't.

So we're covered.

All right. I do want to put this up because it came in. It's the last comment, and Rob the New York Outcast says, we can't change the things we don't control. That's a really good point to end on, I think. And in our audience tonight, we had John Z, the Pennsylvania Outcast, Crabby Turtle, Mike Ballinger, G23 Reviews, Sariaphan93, New York Outcast, Abigail Sorcha Finnegan, Taren Gomez, Hillbilly Up, Jamie JH586, and Gizzard Gary, as well as Guy the Comments dropping in here at the end. So thanks for being here this week, everybody, and spending some of the busy part of this season with us. Come back next week and bring a friend. And one more thing before we go, if you could reload the stream after it finishes and leave a comment. That's spreading warm holiday wishes and it pleases the algorithm. So until we see each other again, be safe, have fun, take care of yourself and your crew, and rock!

We're out.