Mental Health Matters- Let's talk about making things better.

I don't know about you all, but as I listen to that, I'm always like, little. Hey, everybody, it is Saturday night. Just like that. Just like when I watch Jamie's show on Friday night, I'm like, oh, it's already Friday. To remind me they gotta post up for here. Hello, you beautiful people. Welcome to Mental Health Matters. I really have to do that pause still. Maybe another year or so, I'll stop wanting to say suicide friends on Saturday. But as we discussed, I will get it right eventually. All right, so Mental Health Matters Suicide Prevention Saturday, just the ring, but there's— anyway, uh, why are we here? Well, because so many people out there do not understand gun violence and gun deaths, that 2 of every 3 gun deaths that we hear about are actually suicide. So if we took those 3, we could get rid of those 2, we'd have very few gun deaths. Due to violence. But anyway, here we are. What do we do Saturday nights, Mental Health Matters? Well, we chat over here in the chat. Uh, we got Coop out here, my pink hand waving. I'm pretty sure it was my first one. For those of you who don't know, in the beginning when StreamYard started, I would see dot dot pink hand waving dot dot, and I'm like, what is that? Because I'm new, I was new to YouTube at the time. And so Crabby Turtle would always come on and say hi, but what I would see is pink dot waving. So I now know it's an icon and I don't read it, but I kind of do. So that's why Crabby Turtle is my favorite pink hand waving. Um, as for everybody else out there, um, oh, look at that, we got Woods, we got Moo, we got Jamie and G-Webs and Saria Fan. Oh my goodness, did I miss somebody? Mike White came and left. Coop is out here, C&T Designs is Coop. And we already talked about— and DJ is here. DJ is here with me. DJ is here with you. All of those things. And Chasing Ghosts, uh, check out her motorcycle stuff channel. And then of course Gun Websites, who— I would not be here with all you lovely people if it weren't for G-Webs and DJ and Barbecue encouraging me to do these things. So with that, a little bit different view today because I must stand up I have a problem with my back and I can't sit. I've been sitting almost all day because I've been teaching all day, hence the smile on my face, because teaching people how to safely handle firearms is my favorite thing to do on a Saturday other than spending time with you guys. Mental health matters. Y'all look at the description. Let's see. Yeah, Facebook and YouTube, it's all down at— no, Facebook's up there, YouTube's down there. Anywho, uh, mental health matters. So we all have challenges in our lives. Sorry, I'm reading my thing, which if I bring it over here, it will be easier for me to read my thing and I don't have to look at myself. That's even better. I like that. All right, we all have challenges in our lives. When you read, let's make things better, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? I'm willing to bet when you say, yes, let's make things better, each and every one of us have a different thing that we are going to think we need to make better. So y'all can share over there in the wherever the chat is. Like I said, I'm not looking at myself anymore, so I don't know. Let's see, there, no, there. Anyway, um, when we want to make something better, what do we generally do? We want to have someone else take care of it for us. Hmm, yes, yes, I would, because I would like to have a cleaner room. I would like someone else to come clean my room. I would like to have a clean kitchen. I prefer for someone else to come clean my kitchen. Now, there are some of you out there who would be like, no, you may not go to my bedroom. No, you may not touch my stuff in my kitchen. Whereas for me, I'm like, I would not mind a cleaning service. I would be good for that. And then there are the people who love doing the cleaning and don't want anyone to touch their stuff. So when we go to make something better, The idea is, where do we look to do that? And a lot of this week in my classes and in life in general, I've been talking about making things better. One of our challenges, however, is often we will look outside for other people to help us, which is good because we are social creatures and this is how this works. This is why we are community, why y'all pop in on Saturdays. I could say hi to you. So on and so forth. After here, we'll go off to, uh, Hillbillies at the top of the next hour. And those are— oh, they hang out for 2 full hours. I don't have that kind of longitude on me. Like, what longitude? I'm not a globe. Maybe I am. So anywho, when we want to make something better, where do we really need to start? Number 1, I hate to break this to you, I'm going to point at you. And every time we point, there's one finger that way, and oh no, there's three fingers that are pointing back at me. So if I want to make something better, it is not for me to ask you to make me better, although I may ask your help. You guys showing up helps me, your, your encouragement helps me, all of those things. But I have to figure out what I actually need. So depending on what you want to make better know you have to start with yourself, then you kind of have to figure stuff out. Because so many people in today's world have a very strong victim mentality, and being a victim sucks. As you guys— those of you been with me for a while, you know I was a victim of sexual assault, I was a victim of incest, I was a victim of other stuff. We don't have to mention all of it. As a kid, as a teenager, and I could have said, oh, all men are bad, I'm never gonna trust a man ever, because they were all men that did things to me. And/or I'd be like, okay, there are a couple jerks in the world that did things that were not acceptable as far as I was concerned, and now I get to choose not to be a victim. Now, how do I make things better? Well, when I finally found that moment where I was able to forgive the person, the first one who did what they did to me, I realized that forgiveness was not for them, but it was for me. Because prior to that, my suicidal thoughts and that sort of thing as a teen and as a preteen were, this person did these things to me, this is all I'm good for, I just didn't really understand how an adult could do things to a child because I knew it was wrong. But as a kid, you're confused because you're just like, I'm supposed to listen to adults and all sorts of stuff. So there's all this stuff going on in my head. And so I hated that person with a huge, amazing passion. Like, the hate though consumed me. It did nothing to him. And so when I want to make something better The forgiveness piece was where I realized, oh, forgiveness is for me. The forgiveness allows my heart to heal, and that person, even if they wanted to, could never undo the thing that they did. And for me, so many people think forgiveness is saying, oh, what they did is okay. I'm like, no, it's let it go. So when we talk about making things better, let's make things better. We always have to start with ourselves. What is it that we want? Most of us want peace and harmony in the world, at least in our little tiny worlds, right? Uh, at lunch today at the— at our class, we were talking about how I stopped watching the news in 2005 when I was pregnant with my first kid. And the reason being is the news does nothing but make you mad and upset, mad and upset, mad and upset. Do we want that? No. Doesn't help us. I can watch someone getting blown up in another country somewhere, and it makes me sad for the loss of life. Can I personally do anything about that right now? I can't. The towers went down in New York, very sad. Can I personally do anything about that? Maybe. I'm a little bit closer. I know I, I don't remember what we did exactly, but I think we sent water or money or food or something, because they are kind of our neighbors. When I want to make things better, I have to start with me. And when I start with myself, then the people that are in my direct world, which is you guys and my family and my friends, the people I actually interact with on a regular basis— this is where, um, starting with me impacts everyone around me. This year I have managed to go to the gym almost every day. Unfortunately, I got sick this week, so I haven't been at the gym. And it was funny because I had to, like, talk myself out of not going to the gym because the doctor said you gotta rest. And I woke up one morning like, I could go to the gym, I might go to the gym. Um, but it's so fun to finally have that drive again, working on myself to make myself better. So that I can have more fun with my family, so I can get healthier, and that sort of thing. So with that, I've been going blah blah blah for a long time, and I'm sure DJ has a list somewhere to properly officially, uh, um, welcome everybody in. And then I will read the starred stuff that he's told me because I am trying to avoid the chat completely because otherwise I'm like, oh, this, no, that, no, this. So So Mr. DJ, if you'd be so kind— oh wait, I won't touch anything. You can put yourself up on screen.

You want me to put myself up on screen? I mean, come on, I, I don't like to support— yeah, I don't like to supplant you like that, just like bam, all of a sudden it's a black and white— yeah, kind of thing. Because you're all kinds of colorful and cheerful tonight. It's good to be on the program. It's good to have a bunch of people with us in the crew tonight. I'm glad y'all brought some friends. Thanks for doing that. Think about it again for next week and I want to say hey to Crabby Turtle. Yeah, the pink hand waving, ever faithful, he is there. So is Gun Websites Chasing Ghosts. Mike White 2A Advocacy is in the room. C&T Designs and Arms, what up Coop? Sorry Fam 93 is out there, so is JH586. 2 Live Maroons in the room. Woods is out there, the man from the great Pacific Northwest. See, Fiona is out there, rock. Mark Thomas, hey man, how you doing? Hillbilly Up is in the room. Abigail Sorcha Finnegan is as well. A quick check of the live chat shows that that I think is your crew for right now.

Yay, gotta love that. All right, so I'm gonna go first with Woods. So hate doesn't make good decisions or help anything, right? And hate is a really strong emotion, and we're really good at feeling it. Hate often makes us feel very powerful and angry and righteous and I don't think there's a person here that would think that being a pedophile is a good thing, and it's not okay. And every— I mean, I don't know, I can't say everyone because always and never rarely occur, but most people disagree with the idea of an adult having sex with a child. And with that comes that emotion of, how could they? And for me, it was definitely having my childhood stolen, because no 9 or 10-year-old should be learning about that. We should all still be playing in the woods and the ponds and playing with mud squishing between our toes and that sort of thing, which I still did all of those things, but hate brings out that emotion, that emotion of, right? And like Wood says, you can't make good decisions or you cannot be helpful. If I am all jacked up on hate and anger, I know that is what caused my suicidal tendencies because A, I was confused as a kid. B, it started becoming my identity that all I was good for was sex. And to have that kind of mentality at 10, 11, 12 years old is not cool. Um, and so I struggled through high school, and it was one of those things where it's like letting go of it is like the best thing ever. And one— people, when I tell people I forgave the person who did what they did, they're like, are you kidding me? Why didn't you dig a ditch and throw them in there? Well, okay, first, I don't want to do time. I'm not taking anyone else's life. It's not my thing. And thirdly, let them live their life. It's not my fault. And I mean, this is one of those things. So Mr. Woods also said when he teaches, he teaches with a smile most of the time. Today my students, I had how many? I had 5. I had 5 students today and we had a professor and he was, he was the one who asked all the questions of course, but it was just sort of fun because it was a fun, fun class and he's like, oh well, we looked at your website, you looked like you'd be fun, not so hard and tactical and not that there's anything wrong with hard and tactical, but there's enough of that out there, I don't need to fill that space. So the smile, having fun. My goal is have fun with guns. So how do I teach people to have fun with guns? I gotta have fun with guns first. So this is where, when we want to make things better, we need to always talk and start with ourselves. It's so easy to say, um, make sure your own horn is— horn, that I'm reading that right? Yes, horn is filled before you fill another's. Yes. Um, In my 20s, I was on a women's retreat with my class— with my class, with my church— and they talked about the cup. It's like, you cannot pour from an empty cup unless you take care of the stuff that's going on in you. Then you are not going to be able to take care of those around you. You can, and your horn gets empty, and then there's— you're like trying to shake stuff out of the horn and there's nothing there. I will tell you that 75 Hard, which started last Sunday for those of you, uh, who were here last week, drinking the water even though I haven't been able to go to the gym every day has been really awesome because I forgot what it was like to be hydrated. So when I'm making stuff better, I'm making it better for myself. When I feel better about myself, I can deal with the stresses of family life, I can deal with the stresses of work, work life. I can deal with stresses so much better. So, um, I've absolutely loved drinking water in this past week, uh, 2 of these a day. And it doesn't seem like a lot anymore. It's like, oh, I've only drank 64 ounces of water. And there was a time in my life where 20 ounces of water in a day was like, oh, look how much I drink!. And just like shooting, because most of us are in the shooting sports or do firearms in some way or another, you can always get better. When we talk about making things better, we can make ourselves better. And that's the filling of the horn, as Abigail puts it. And then when we can be better, we can make better decisions. Because like woods— or sorry, woods. Oh yeah, it was wood.

Sorry, I don't know why I thought it was a mouse.

Wood said when you're in hate and anger, you can't make good decisions. Um, so while— yeah, thank you, Mike. Um, so the calmer we get— today in class we talked about, imagine for a moment if they allowed meditation in schools, just like 5 minutes of silence to actually calm yourself down. Ready? Let's try 30 seconds. So Jamie's out there. Chances are Jamie just said a prayer because Jamie can be quiet and say stuff all at the same time. Giving ourselves time, giving ourselves rest, taking a moment of pause in our crazy busy life. This has been another blessing of me being sick this week. Monday morning I woke up with shingles. By Tuesday, my back was also going back into spasm. And so I've had to rest a lot this week. I am not very good at resting. Um, so like I said, I had to talk myself out of going to the gym, which made me proud that I had to talk myself out of the gym. But because I've rested it this week, I've quieted my mind. And I've done less. And I have found in this quiet time, I've become so much more creative. I did do stuff like design some things, graphics and that sort of stuff. One of the posters I have in my classroom is it says scientists say it takes 3,000, 10,000 reps to create a new skill. I laminated it, that's why it's all shiny. So I got less physical stuff done and more cerebral stuff because I was actually resting. Yes, I'm with Abigail. Oh yeah, waste of time and energy that could be done doing something productive. And hate is a lot of energy. I can guarantee you there was a lot of energy that I put out there when it was me hating on the first person. The second and third, I'm just like, yeah, I hated on them too, but not as much as the first. And then the group, um, all that sort of fun stuff. Mr. Patriot: even when I'm mad or upset, I smile or grin. It makes everyone really nervous. Yeah, yeah, there's something creepy or scary about somebody who's pissed off and smiling. Another conversation we had today in, uh, in the classroom was, and this came from another instructor, and I can't tell you which instructor it was because I don't recall, but he said that, uh, the calmest person in the room is the person who can kill everyone in the room, because our fear is often generated by being afraid for our lives. Now, not all fear is that, but fear and anger are kind of in there together. And hate is the grandpapa of all of that. So we're talking, I'm looking at my students— sorry, my classroom's over here— I'm looking at my students and I'm like, yes, the person who can kill everyone in the room is the calmest person in the room because their fear has been abated. They don't have that fear. Two, the other instructor— I wish I could remember which class this was I took— but he said, here's the deal, If my kid needs me and for some reason I have to kill everybody in this room, that's happening. Because we want to save our own lives and we want to save those who we love. The class was just some random people, so it's not quite the same. But it's just amazing, like, what our survival instincts will do. All right, the guy that comments, the gym will be there when you're penniless, it'll be there when you're a billionaire. It's loyal, don't let it down. Show your loyalty too. Yeah. And I'm just so happy. I mean, I'm happy I took the time to rest. It was super hard, which is why I wish that we would do something like meditation, like just for 5 minutes, maybe 30 seconds, or maybe it's just that pause. Remember, for those who've been around for a while, ready? Take a breath in. Take a breath out. Breath in. In that little pause between the breath in and the breath out, you can have that little tiny mini meditation. That pause where you're waiting for the next thing can be your meditation, and you can start there. Because so you're like, I can't meditate, I can't clear my mind, all of that. When we were pausing in between those breaths, were you thinking of anything other than what's next, right? So Meditation has been proven clinically time and time again to help you. And if you're a religious person, you can pray and meditate. If you're a non-religious person, you can just meditate. And regardless of which hand you happen to fall into, it still does your brain chemistry great things. It allows you to be calm. It allows you to be present. I talked about today how, uh, the gun thing is the most Zen I've ever been. I started meditation when I was 8 years old. We lived with my tree-hugging cousins. We would literally hug the trees before we'd cut them down. We'd hug them and we'd say, thank you for the wood that you're going to provide for us that will warm our, our home over the winter, before we would, uh, chop them down. So they meditated. I was 8 years old. I was not about to meditate. I sat cross-legged quietly, but I'm pretty sure my little 8-year-old mind did not understand meditation. As I got older, I would go to meditations and yogas and stuff like that, and I didn't really get it. I couldn't bring myself to right now, here in the present. And then I got to guns, and I found my zen of being fully present in the moment, because when you have a firearm in your hand, you need to be fully present of just that thing. It's not about the kids, the wife, the husband, the taxes, the bills. Nope. That gun in your hand is the only thing. So guns are what brought me to my meditation. Now, maybe that's how you shoot, maybe it's not. That's what I explained to my students because I'm just like, yeah, I want you all to have fun with guns, but we have to understand safety is number one. And so you have to pay attention to that thing in your hand. And that is how I learned to meditate the easiest way. All right, Mr. DJ, I've gone on and on and on. I'm throwing you up on the screen. You can talk about something, anything you want, really.

I have to take it right on. I'm going to bring, uh, the comment from Guy That Comments back up on the screen and reread it. Says, the gym will be there when you're penniless, it'll be there when you're a billionaire. It's loyal, don't let it down. Show your loyalty too. And one of the things that occurred to me about that is, ah, What it means to me is opportunity. You can commit to that process. It's there. It'll always be there. So committing outside of oneself might give you that shoulder sometimes that you need when it's time to go to the gym. Maybe it's some other association that's positive besides the workout. Maybe you're thinking about the Jamba Juice that comes after or something like that. Chain together positivity to make whatever it is, whatever endeavor. More successful is that's going to be key, especially when it's something that's a real challenge or you're having difficulty at a certain point with something. And like you were talking about at the top of the show, I was thinking, you know, it is easy to feel that things are against you, that other, you know, there are other forces at work who are trying, you know, to prevail. And that's not always the case. I think that that happens to me half the damn time that I get frustrated by something. And since we're together here and we're in community and you got your program going on and I saw out there that Abigail is also doing the program kind of thing, I think that often we feel that we're at odds with situations and things are working against us because, well, people don't know. Or we haven't, like maybe we haven't taken the time to explain or they just don't know that it is so important to us that this thing goes well. If you bring people in on your plan, then people can be there to support or encourage you or just know, maybe just learn something new about you. It's incorporation of yet another asset that you have. So friends, bringing them in on what you're doing, it's a reciprocal thing. It's going to be all good. Good gets good, better gets better, and you have a better chance of something that's going to be that success that you're seeking.. And if not for yourself, maybe for somebody else, and that's the lift that gives them the energy to return to you. So good stuff begets good stuff, I do believe.

There you go. I like to— Patriot the Dark's comment, I'm all about being calm, but if the patchouli comes out, I'm out of here. I kid you not, one of my students today, I think he was wearing some because I just came in the office before this and I'm like, that smells familiar, but I didn't notice it during class at all. So I'm like, hmm, interesting. All right, so Jamie's comment of, I think fear leads to desperation, desperation leads to decision, fight or flight. To fight, you have to gather yourself and stop the threat. So this is true, right? But what the hate though? So here's the thing, fear and hate are not the same thing, but often hate can stem from fear and fear can fuel hate. It's sort of the chicken and egg sort of thing. And if you're actually under attack, then it makes sense to stop the threat. However, when the attack was years and years ago and you're still replaying that attack in your head and it's still having impact on you, this is where letting go— because it's not a physical thing, you're giving yourself mental warfare. Abigail said, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to the dark side. It's true, um, because there's power in hate and anger. There's power in the dark side. Uh, both things must exist. We can't have one without the other. But if we're going to talk about making things better, we have to be more sparkly. Since DJ talked about my sparkliness, um, Saria, I am glad to find out the guns keep you grounded in life. Um, like I said, I do love it for me guns are totally that Zen moment. And then hate leads to suffering. And depending on what you follow, I believe it's Buddhism that talks about life is suffering and you get to choose how much you suffer by what you focus on. And this is also what I believe as far as you're going to get more of what you want, in that whatever you focus on, your energy flows in that direction and you get more of that. Back to why I, um, stopped watching the news when I was pregnant. Hormones plus news equals not a happy Brooke. No, because that was when I realized it just makes you mad and angry, mad and angry, mad and angry. Um, once in a while they'll have a fluff piece, which is, you know, the fireman getting the kitten out of the tree kind of thing, but for the most part They want to show you pain and suffering. They want you to feel bad. And yet what we're really doing is when we see that other person who got blown up or in the car crash who died, you get that little sense of relief that all of your family came home tonight. So someone always has it worse than you. At the same time, we also have it better than others. So here we go. In general, life is hard. We can make things better. We always have to start with ourselves. It's not up to someone else out there to do it. There was a comment about road rage, just about why you should be nice all the time, but I missed that one. So DJ, I don't know if you find it. Yes, and road rage is the best example why people need to be polite at all times. Exactly. You have no idea what someone else is going through. So for example, right, if I had a bad day and I'm normally a calm person, but my back hurts, my head hurts, whatever, you know, what happens is we stack stuff up, bad things go on top of bad things on top of bad things, and at some point our dam breaks. And to me, that's what road rage is, is somebody had, um, a really bad day and then someone else— because let's be real, well, sorry, in my personal opinion, there is no real reason if someone says, like, flips you off on the road while you would try to run them off the road. But we don't know. Uh, Mr. Chris with the 'if it bleeds, it leads.' That is totally what the news is all about. It's like the more gory, the more worse. When we're at lunch today in class again, we're in there, unfortunately the news is up and it's talking about the latest plane crash and it's a horrible story because one of the guys actually knew the story behind it and it just brought me back to the Boston bombing where for weeks the only thing that was on the news was the Boston bombing. It's like if we're constantly fed hate, anger, distress, how are we supposed to have love and light and happiness and maybe some patchouli? No, just kidding. We're not going to do patchouli. Well, actually, I do have some up in my house. It's true, I do, but I don't use it that often. Anyway, Dirty Laundry. Yes, exactly. For those of you who are too young to know the song Dirty Laundry, by all means, You should go look it up. And that was Don Henley, though. The Dirty Laundry song I'm thinking of is Don Henley. Wow. So sorry, I'm saying wow because I just read Ghost's comment. In Houston, we have a few road rage shootings every week. Don't even honk your horn, just be like, well, eff them, and move on. And that goes back to full circle of, yes, have grace for others. Release any ill will. Imagine that their grandma just died, so you need to have grace for them. When we're talking to ourselves on how to make ourselves better, imagine the little baby child inside of you, the 4-year-old, the 5-year-old, whatever age you think that I can comprehend what you're saying, and talk to yourself like you're a child with that grace, with that tenderness, with that caring. Whether you're a mom or a dad or you're an uncle or aunt or you have no other siblings, it's be as gentle to yourself as you can because everything starts with you. Oh yeah, and Abigail, none of us have time to bleed, just like I don't have time to rest, but sometimes we're gonna find it anyway. Um, that old movie— I don't know this old movie, Mr. Thomas. Falling Down is sobering when watched the whole way through. I've not seen Falling Down, but maybe I will. Also, Mark Thomas threatened to come visit, so maybe this summer when it's nicer weather he will.

I get the— I saw that comment. I saw that comment. I gave it a thumbs up. So, scene identified. There's no denying. And now shout it out during a live stream: Mark, you got to get your scooter ready to motor.

And it is so funny because his comment actually made me realize— I'm like, I don't know where any of y'all are. I don't I mean, I do. I know Barbecue's in Pennsylvania because we actually drove to his house after we went to, um, whatever you call it, um, after we went to Niagara Falls. Uh, DJ, I kind of know where you live, and I gotta get your address again. Actually, I threw away the piece of paper I wrote it down on. Um, but, uh, yeah, so anyway, I don't know where everyone is from. And so if Mark is close enough to hop on a bike and come visit, yay! Patriot, I think, is in New York, but I'm not sure. So anyway, oh yeah, so Woods has— oh, sorry, wrong one, it moved. So for any of you who don't know what Woods is talking about, you count to 4. Ready? You hold it for 4 seconds and release it for 4 seconds. So what this does— well, there's so many different types of breathing out there to help you relax and calm down and all of that. But here's the truth of that. Oh no, you can put it back up. Um, but anytime, like when I'm talking to you, I'm like, all right, breathe in, breathe out, right? Anytime you focus on your breath that's the only thing you're focusing on. It's not quite as good as a gun in your hand, but you know, it changes your focus to a singular, singular thing. Now, so that helps your mental state. The actual act of square breathing— in for 4, hold for 4, release for 4— does different things physiologically to you. There are so many different breathing techniques, it's like crazy if you actually start getting into it. Now, y'all are already on YouTube, Facebook, the internet in general. There are so many things out there that you can look up, but start with one. Practice one. Remember, that little pause in between in and out can be your mini meditation. I do that while I'm going there. Now, Patriot here, on his comment, he said as soon as he could find his luggage, he he would come visit. Um, for those of you who don't know, the reason Patriot's in the dark is because he's actually blind. So I told him to go look for his luggage and he would find it because that's how kind and sweet we actually are. DJ, was there another comment you wanted to throw up here, or did you click on something then unclick it?

I clicked and unclicked, but I want to click on this. Hillbilly Up is warming up for his show, and this one applies to any hour of the day in any relationship you have. By making someone's day better, you will make your day better, and we all need better days.

No doubt. Absolutely. And that is another fun thing. Oh, that was what I learned this week as well. Who knew there could be so many blessings from being miserable? So Monday morning, waking up with shingles. I don't know if you all have had nerve pain, but I promise you it is not fun, and I hope you never do. So when I get shingles, I get them here in my head. And the doc told me it's the triphasic geminal nerve in my head. And he's like, it's just the most painful place you could possibly get them. I'm like, yay me, I'm number one with top of the pain scale. So that's what I woke up with on Monday morning. So that fight or flight thing that I think Jamie was talking about earlier, that was in high gear. Because the side of my head is basically on fire, like someone's stabbing me. It's so much fun. And I had stuff to do on Monday because it was Monday and I had things to do. So I did go to the gym Monday morning with my mom, and then I went to the doctor and got the drugs that I needed to start treating this. And in all of my pain and distress, what did I do? I went out and bought gift cards. I went to Dunkin' Donuts and I got 5 gift cards. I went to Starbucks and I got 5 gift cards because one of the other things I had to do on Monday morning was get an oil change. So I went out, got the gift cards, and just randomly started handing them out to people. And one of the things I realized on Monday was when I'm in pain, at least I can make other people happy. And it made me not have to focus on the pain and suffering that was going on in my physical body. And I'm like, huh, I did not know that was my natural reaction to stuff. So if you ever see me being very fat, very, very sweet and kind and nice, I might be dying. I don't know. No, I'm probably not dying, but it was just a very interesting thing to notice is making someone else's day better really did truly help me feel better because I got to focus on that. People like, what's this for? I'm like, random acts of kindness. It's a good thing, keep it going. So, and I hadn't done anything like that for a while, and it felt really good to do that. So, um, oh my gosh, for those of you who don't know what ASMR is, go check it out. It can be very relaxing. It is the weirdest thing in the world, in my personal opinion. There's lots of different forms of it, but I am addicted to one or two. Um, just one actually. I'm not sharing though because I don't know, I still think it's weird. Uh, Bob Ross and Zen Garden music. Everybody wants to paint happy trees, and if you don't know what happy trees are, go look up Bob Ross on the Google and find stuff out. Um, I don't know what turncoats are going to be, but, um, oh, oh yeah, huh, funny. Sorry, looking at Chasing Ghosts. So just to recap this past week, like literally since last Saturday. So Friday night a week ago, I went to bed with a killer migraine. Now it had been kind of coming and going for almost 2 weeks at that point. Saturday morning I wake up and I have to go to the ER to get my cocktail. And I'm going like this because here's the bruise from my IV. Here's the bruise from my blood draw while I was at the ER. So migraine for 2 days, been kind of a bitch. I probably use more than a gift card, but I'll fix your car first. Oh no, hydroplaned off the road and pulled the skid plate off. Yeah. It's not— I don't know that it's not about the gift cards, but yes. So migraine on Saturday, shingles on Monday, gift cards on Monday. So the more pain I'm in, the more I have to give. And to Mr. Make Somebody's Day Better— wait, oh, you can't read that, it's out of thing. But anyway, that says Make Someone's Day Better. It's the Hillbilly Up sticker. And Just, yeah, like DJ always says. You know what DJ always says, right, DJ?

What do I always say? Come on, if you don't get out— you're on something weird.

If I don't see a smile, be a smile, or something along those lines.

Yeah, when you're out and about in your day-to-day life, see someone who's not smiling, make one. And that's MCK, among others, but I always give credit to MCK. The repetition of that spoke to me more than twice when I needed it. And yeah, I'm glad, I'm glad to be a part of the community. I'm glad that we've got this crew out here tonight, 17 rocking with us right now.

That's pre-replay, so happy, happy. All right, so sir, I believe 39 minutes is plenty of time. GT3 is not here to tell me to do a long live stream, and Mr. Hillbilly and Jamie and all those folks need to head off to Hillbilly's channel. So if you'd be so kind, sir, please say good night to everybody for us.

I will. And some of those who have joined us tonight have been from states like Connecticut, Ohio, Arizona, New Jersey, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Alabama, California, Florida, Nebraska. And I'm so glad that everybody came tonight. Please bring a friend next time. Share out this live stream and make sure you hit the thumbs up. On your way out the door tonight. And tonight I want to say thanks to everyone who was here, including Crabby Turtle, Gun Websites, Chasing Ghosts was here, Mike White, Two Way Advocacy, C&T Designs and Arms, Sariafan93, JH586, To Live, Moo Woods, Fiona was out there, so was Mark Thomas, Hillbilly Up, his show is up next, Abigail Sorcha Finnegan, Guy That Comments, Patriot in the Dark, and on both the Facebook and the YouTube side Chris Brancato joined us tonight. Thanks for being here. Until we see everybody else again, be safe, have fun, take care of your crew and yourself, and rock!