Mental Health Matters: Managing Stress in Winter

Happy New Year, everybody. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Mental Health Matters. I lost my window here. DJ and I were just discussing how I've had lots of tech issues thus far this year, and, you know, it's only the third of the year. But hey, welcome to Mental Health Matters. Why are we here? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are suicides, and that is the biggest chunk of gun deaths there are out there. The other 10% is broken up into multiple, multiple different ways that people die via gun. So since suicide prevention is the number one way that we could save lives with guns, it is my job to come here every Saturday night since 2018 to say we should talk about this. So hope you're having a blessed and spectacular new year. What happened on Thursday? Well, Wednesday or Thursday, depending on if you actually stayed up till midnight, you know, and did the whole ringing in of the bell. So what do a lot of people do on the first? Yeah, they make New Year's resolutions. And it's good to want change. It's good to want to do things that are good for you. Absolutely. But here's the sad statistic here, folks. January 18th. Yeah. So about 2 and a half weeks into the month is about how often people actually get to stay on track with their New Year's Eve resolutions. Now, are we here to make New Year's Eve resolutions? No. Am I here to support you if you've made New Year's Eve resolutions? Yes, actually. My goal tonight is to help you understand how to beat the January 18th deadline when most people give up, and also just kind of look at changes and how to keep them so they actually work for you. Because making changes you want to make is important. Understanding how to do that so they're actually successful, that is so much harder. I am— how— what year is this? 2026. So I am 55 years old right now, and in my 55 years on this earth, I've made lots of changes. I've done some spectacular things, I've done some spectacularly stupid things, um, and some things I've been successful at and some things not so successful. And here's the reality of it: most of us learn best on those not successful things. Like, um, for those of you who didn't hear about my broken toe, uh, December 5th, I broke my toe and I learned something from that. Crush injuries suck. They're horrible and you shouldn't try it. It's really not fun. Um, so yeah, but those are the things you remember. I think about some of the most dramatic things in my life and usually they involve pain and suffering, honestly.. But there's also really cool stuff. So change and lasting change, because I want you all to be successful. So Chasing Ghosts is out there listening and writing a song. Last verse, inspiration strikes when it does, had the whole sing and chords almost instantly, but maybe two lines. Yes. So for those of you who have not been to Chasing Ghosts' YouTube site, by all means go check it out. She will play music for you and sing to you and talk to you. And all that good stuff. Um, I haven't seen that motorcycle in a while. It's a little chilly, I guess. I don't know. But, um, if you want to listen to her sing and play some guitar, that'll be cool to see what she comes up with. So that's already a win, right? Is deciding something you want to do and then doing it. All right, as you know, I try to have notes, guys. I'm trying to be better about this. So one of the other things that happens around New Year's We look back at the year in review and sometimes we're happy about it, happy about it. I'm going to try to do the same side, both sides. All right. Uh, sometimes we're happy about what happened in the year and sometimes we're not. And the reality of it is good things and bad things happen every year. Uh, some good things are better. Some bad things seem worse. Um, but the reality of it is everyone's life is the same. In that we can focus on all the good and be happy all the time. Well, not really, but we can be happy a lot of the time. We can focus just on the bad and be miserable all the time. And yeah, some people are really good at that. Um, don't be that person. It's not fun. But we get fed good and bad information. The thing we tend to forget is we have a choice of which thing we're going to focus on. So when we're looking at 2025 in review, go ahead and think about this. And DJ is going to be watching the comments for me because I try not to get distracted over there. I just happen to see Ghost's comment earlier. Um, give me one awesome thing that happened in 2025, and I can already give you one awesome thing that occurred in 2026, and this is only the third. And ooh, maybe I'm gonna try to share it with you. Nope, I think I'm just gonna verbally share it with you. So I'll give you an example of one of my awesome things that already happened in 2026. Last night, maybe the night before, I don't know, all of it blurs together, but there's only been 3 days. You'd think I could keep it straight. I guess it was last night. I think it was last night. So for Christmas, We got a little baby fire pit that we can actually light on the table, and we were roasting marshmallows around our dining room table. And it was my daughter, her friend, and myself. We were laughing that tears were coming down our face. And I'm bringing this to you because it's only day 3 of 2026, and it's one of those things where it's like, I want to take the picture that my husband took and write a note to my daughter and say, for all those times we fight and yell at each other and don't have great days, remember this one. Because reviewing and looking at the stuff that was really, really good and anchoring into that, then that helps us when we have those crappy days and when we've lost that, that loved one and this is our first Christmas without them or the first Thanksgiving without them and that sort of stuff. Funerals are sad because you're not having more laughter with that person that you're putting in the ground or blowing up in fireworks, depending on what kind of family you are. Because we blew my dad up in fireworks because that's the kind of family we are. So, all right. Uh-huh. Sorry. Of course I, uh, I know I said I was gonna let DJ do this, but I couldn't help it. Um, so Uh, G23, oops, wrong one. Hi, Viejo. I just, it just moved when I clicked on it. G23, your 2.5-hour show near— wow, I can't read. But, um, was that your good thing that happened into 2025? Because you've only been asking for that for a couple years now, that I had a long version of this. So I'm hoping that is part of the what was good in, uh, 20 25. So DJ, if you will, I'm gonna stop looking. Just star the ones that people are replying to for me, so I'll just go get them all at once. All right, so looking back at what was awesome in 2025, and is there gonna be bad stuff? Oh yeah, of course. I, you know, December 5th, busting my toe. However, here's the thing. Even something that seems like it's a bad thing, like breaking your toe and being stuck on the couch for like 3 weeks, you would think that'd be a bad thing, but it made me stop and slow down and look at how much stuff I could get done without actually moving. Um, it helped that I was doing an AI course at the time, so I had specific homework to do and that sort of thing. It helped that my business was actually closed for the month because it's cold and yucky out. Um, but originally it was going to be my knee surgery time to recover, so I had the time set aside for recovery. But one of the things I learned a long time ago is when we have that yucky stuff, ask what's good about this. And a friend of mine is like, I will not. And you don't have to. It just helps me give my brain the opportunity to figure out what's good about this. And we've had this conversation before, but you can find good in pretty much anything that really seems like it sucks. And just like any other muscle, the more you work it, the better. So when we're looking at 2025, what was good? Sit with that for a second. Like, I got to go across the stinking globe to Japan with my family. That was pretty stinking awesome. As far as I know, that is the adventure of a lifetime. I don't know that I'm ever going to go that far away from home ever again. I don't know that I'll have the opportunity to do it with my entire family like we did, and just the 4 of us, because y'all know when you have older kids and the boyfriends and girlfriends are coming, it's not the same. It's still time with family, but it you know, so this may have been the pièce de résistance of the family. I have no idea. But so for 2025, got a pretty, pretty awesome good one. So how do you remember that? Like, think of the joy, whatever your thing is. I mean, for Tara, maybe it's because she got more regular at practicing and has gotten more stuff up on her YouTube channel this year. Gary Gizzard is out there, and maybe it is he got more knives because, you know, he always needs more knives to review. So I don't know what your happy place is, what you're— maybe for those you've been married for a long time, maybe you hit a specific anniversary that's awesome and spectacular. I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, think about that good thing and really anchor that in. Like, think about why it's a good thing. And really think of, like, make it so you have more attachment to it. The stuff that sucks, you can let it go if you can. Um, you can ask yourself what's good about this. Uh, there's lots of options. All right, so here's the next thing. Look at all the good stuff right now. There's only gonna be bad stuff for those of you out here like me. You have a business to run. Or maybe you're an employee either way, or you're retired. God bless you all. You're so lucky. Although I know you retired people never actually like slow down ever because you've been working and you can't do that. But look at the stuff that worked for you, the things that made you happy, right? Those things that were like, ooh, look what I did. Like I said, I just took this AI math class and I'm like loving it. It's making my life easier. That's what I want. Got to go to Japan with the family. Way cool. Things that not so great: my mom's dementia is getting worse and I have to take more time to take care of her. And that's okay because this is like the shifting of what I'm doing in my business. So looking forward to 2026, um, is knowing that my care role is going to increase, and so my workload has to decrease, and preparing for that. So, um, looking ahead and knowing what's coming and what's gonna get you excited. Take the stuff that worked from 2025 and amplify that. And the stuff that was not so awesome, what can you learn from that? I will say, for those of you who have not dealt with anyone in your family with dementia yet, or hopefully you never will, but it is a learning experience. You get, or you can learn a lot more acceptance and understand why winning an argument never really actually matters, especially if the person's not going to remember you won the argument. So there is that. All right, Miss— all right, we got, uh, DJ has given us— all right, simple start. Mr. DJ gave us first: I lived all of 2025 and I'm alive in 2026. There you go, totally simple and easy, right? Is— yeah, you're 6 feet above not 6 feet under. And the beauty of that is there's a lot of people that died last year that are not here with us today. Um, so thank you for that, DJ. Uh, I found a tape I recorded with my grandpa, maybe in '97. We were playing guitars and singing gospel music. He died in '04. It's a voice from the grave and what I'm writing about. Oh, that is so awesome, Tara. Um, yeah, I actually have a little iPod I think it's an iPod. My dad, I have him on that. Envia, how are you, sir? Um, uh, another year younger in 2025. So similar to what DJ's talking about, it's like we made it through another year. Y'all just made another revolution around the sun and we all made it. Um, Let's see. And Saria Fan, only good thing about is home is where the heart is. So I'm gonna go with he's back in home. So that's a good thing, um, because there were some, some issues and challenges he had this year. So, all right. Oh, look, and it is Jamie. Oh, Jamie. Oh, 2026, dude. I need you to drop in the chat if you can, um, I think you're— you're— anyway, when is that thousand-round thing? Or not thousand-round, the rifle thing you do with a thousand-round shot? Because my family and I were talking about that, and that's actually one of the things we want to do in 2026 is come on down there to Georgia and go do that. So I know I said I was going to get to helping you keep your New Year's resolution, but before I go on much longer, it is time for DJ to pop on and say officially hi to everyone while while Jamie goes and looks to figure out where and when. Yeah, give me the where and when, and if it's invitation only or if anyone can show up. All right there, DJ, you have fun.

Right on. Well, there are, uh, more than a dozen people watching right now, but only 7 have dropped into the text chat. So if you're lurking out there, let us know what 2026 is going to hold for you. Some kind of plan? We'll or let us know what your best spot of 2025 is as I welcome in Crabby Turtle. Viejo 2A is out there, so is Sorry Fan 93. Abigail Sorcha Finnegan is in the room. Chasing Ghost is out there with some good memories and some great music. G23 Reviews is here with us, so is Gizzard Gary. And Jamie JH 5869 was the last one in the room. It used to just be 586, and I looked at the screen up in front of me and I had to quint a little bit to get that, uh, that 9 on the end there. He says it's in Tennessee, the range is called Dead Zero, and he'll send you an email.

Okay. Yeah, no, because I don't know when we were talking about it. And now, DJ, you— do you know what I'm talking about?

I do not.

Have you been to his, his event? I have not. Okay. All right. It was a random thing, I think, in the Blue Room at Hillbilly's thing where, you know, apparently go guns all doped in for a 1,000-yard shot. Uh-oh, a 1,000-yard shot. Words are hard. Oh my goodness. Um, but yeah, so that's one of the things we're planning in 2026 once we get a date. And Tennessee is awesome because that means we can combine it with visiting my brother because he's down there in Tennessee as well. So that'll be fun. All right, sir, thank you for all of that. All right, so New Year's resolutions, how do you keep them? Well, sort of like when we asked what was good in 2025 and DJ started out with the simple I am above ground versus underground sort of idea. Keep it simple and not overwhelming. Uh, one of the things I am a— oh, what do I want to call it? Um, I constantly am getting more education. I'm always learning new stuff, and I always want to do it all. And this is the beauty of realizing that none of us can do it all. There's always more to do no matter what. So when you're looking to make a change, make it simple and make it impactful and have meaning for you, right? I have a bunch of friends who are looking to to go to surgery soon, and they happen to be smokers. And it's a hard thing to do, right, is quit smoking. And it's just like, well, nobody quits smoke— well, some people quit smoking like that, other people not so much. But it's just like, anything you do, you want to make changes, just do one thing. And it's like, let's say, because like one of the guys I was talking to, he smokes I think— I forget what he said. It's like, I think he's been smoking a pack a day since he was 22, and he's older than me, so it's a long time. And he's got back surgery coming up, and, um, he's like— and he's going to counseling, he's trying to get help, but it's just like, it's one little thing every day. So my daughter, for example, she wants to brush her teeth play with her dog 5 minutes a day. And she's got a third thing that she said, oh, laundry once a week. Get that so it's regular, regularly. Maybe I'll bring up our picture, Mr. Burger, yeah, of raccoons. So how do we do this? Figure out why you're making the change. Disconnected. Oh no. Connected. See, technical difficulties. I don't know if y'all heard that or not. Um, so why are you making the change, right? What is the purpose? So it's like my friend who's going for back surgery, he's, uh, he has been in pain ever since I've known him. And, uh, he's been here to the range and he helps out here all the time and that sort of stuff. And it's just like he has to measure the importance of the recovery versus the having to have the cigarette each day, right? Or all of the cigarettes. It's like, if you can come up with a big enough why you're making the change, that's the first step. It has to be important enough that you care. So for him, he's trying to get out of back pain and he knows it's super hard because cigarettes, I think, are— might be harder than cocaine. I am not sure. I mean, to stop doing. And you have to figure out the why. Why am I making this change? What is making me excited? What is this? And it's like, well, hopefully we hope that having a successful journey on recovery and surviving the surgery is enough, but for most of us, it's not. So let's go back to my daughter because way simpler, brushing teeth every day. Why? Well, because hygiene is good for you. Okay, we know that up here, but then why? Well, here's the thing that it took me probably close to my full 55 years. I had thoughts on this before, but whatever change we are making, usually disconnected. Oh dear, hold on just a second. Let me see if I can get that to stop doing that.

Um, Your Bluetooth is pestering you.

I didn't mean to bring you up. Did you?

I brought myself up.

Oh boy. All right, my, my computer is doing all sorts of weird things. DJ, can you hear me?

I can hear you just fine.

I can't hear you now. All right, I don't know what I clicked. Welcome to the problem solver. Um, Hold please, one moment. I'm going to turn this off. All right, see, that was just my cliffhanger for what was the thing that I learned after 55 years, and why do we make changes. It's so we can actually take care of ourselves that we deem ourselves worthy enough to put the time, effort, and sweat into making the changes. Self-care is usually the basis of each and every change that we want to make. So my friend who needs to quit smoking, he is muscling through it because because he's— I think it's January 30th or something is when he's scheduled in order to be ready for surgery because he knows he needs to take care of himself, but he also needs to be there for his wife and for his kids. And he's got all that leverage, but it's just like the real change comes from within. And we were just talking about that movie, and DJ, maybe you can help me with this, I don't know, um, where the dude stands outside, plays Peter Gabriel Oh no, no, not that one. The You Complete Me one. What is that movie? Thank you, Viejo, for letting me know it all looks good. My, my speaker was just going a little bit wonky and kept connecting and not connecting and all of that. But so any change you want to make, number 1 is why are we doing it? Number 2, understand the real reason is you need to take care of you. This community is spectacular. We all have really big hearts. We care about each other. There's not anybody here in the chat— Jerry Maguire, baby, show me the money. Yes, that is the you complete me thing. And do we need each other? Absolutely, without a doubt. But I can't go and drive to see Guns and Barbecue in PA if I'm not taken care of and and taking care of myself. And, uh, sorry, see, I looked away. I need to look away. So short version, why am I doing it? Am I worth taking care of? And that was the hardest thing for me to learn. And no, I'm not saying like, um, because I used to think, right, we have some bad thoughts up here, that thinking about myself and taking care of myself was selfish. And somewhere in our society, we've got that pretty well ingrained in some places. And we know who the man crush is out there in the chat there. And for those of you who don't know, Walter is Viejo, because it doesn't say up there. For those of you who are watching, who haven't, you know, like Gigi said, you're all watching but not talking. Viejo is Walter. So you are worthy. Oh, you can make the change if it's important enough for you to do the thing. Is it going to be hard? Yes, but super important, do not try to change 10 things, not even 8, not even 6, not even 4, just one. Just pick one thing that's super important to you and do that one thing. And here's the other part that I have I've slowly learned over the years, just because I'm unsuccessful all the time is okay, because I don't go to the gym every day. I have streaks where I will go weekly, daily, 75 days in a row, sometimes a year, a season, all of that, and then I stop, and then I go back. So don't beat yourself up. Make sure it's important enough to you, and don't beat yourself up because I don't know if it's a girl thing. I don't know if dudes really do this, but for girls, for sure, we absolutely beat ourselves up when we don't do it perfect. And perfection is the thief of joy and progress. So let's say like my daughter's thing of brushing her teeth every day. She gets 5 out of 7 days. Is that a win? Yes, yes it is. Will she feel like she failed 2 days? I'm gonna try to make sure that she does not, but I can't do that. She's got to feel it in here. So that is kind of it, what I have for you for New Year's Eve resolution. Um, let's make sure that we make it past the 18th. Pick the one thing. Um, I did see Abigail saying, I'd like to stop doom scrolling. I'll be in Illinois bidding someone a couple months, so our plan is to really limit our social media. Abigail, I will tell you, girlfriend, I am— I took Facebook off of my phone, and I'm gonna say I'm a little happier for it. I am, because I have to be in front of a computer to be on Facebook. Not so much YouTube. I listen to music on YouTube, so I don't take that off, but that's not really my social media so much. Doomscrolling is like, ooh, dude, there are hardwired reasons we doomscroll. Oh, sorry, I just saw this one. Got good concerts planned in 2026 for Fiona and Sabotage. No Metallica? I just, I don't know what to say. And Abriel. Okay, so 2026, leave Florida and get to a new place. A new place in Florida or out of Florida? You're leaving Florida, right? So, um, yeah, and the doom scrolling, it's a thing for most people and we don't even realize we're doing it. I mean, I try to track it a little bit. If you want, you can get an app that shows you, and then it's really like, I did that much. Um, but yeah, I did take Facebook off. I have no social media on my on my phone anymore, so I can only do it while I'm here. Now here's the other part of this: make it fun. Play games with yourself. Give yourself rewards. There is a group I belong to, and they're like, when you look at your week and you're trying to figure out what you're doing this week, if you're that kind of planning person, and it's like, put the fun stuff in first. It's like spending times with your, your spouse, hanging out with friends, going for that walk, cleaning that gun, whatever it is. Maybe it is specifically a half an hour or 15 minutes of doom scrolling, but you put a timer on it or something like that. Playing games makes things more fun. So, um, uh, Oh my goodness, wait a second. You know a guy who's supposed to quit smoking or to quit smoking? Small world. I know, um, there are lots of people. Uh, sorry, Abigail's got me today. I always have bad thoughts, I just act on them, otherwise I'd be in jail for smacking a lot of people upside the head. Yeah, yeah, I think my thing is usually, um, throat punching. I don't think I'd even smack you across the head. I just, I think the idea of a throat punch from time to time is what some people actually need. So, um, so Surya Fan, this just means you are smarter than me that you got rid of your Facebook account. So anyway, all right, what do I got for you? That's kind of it. Uh, I am hoping to get these StreamYards up and running a week in advance or so. I know folks like GWebs like to share them out. I might even have words. Yeah, so for my 2026, I'd like to get this up and running on a weekly basis so you actually get it ahead of time. My goal is also to have at least one interview each month so that maybe G23 gets a little bit happier with at least an hour-long thing. I don't always want to roll into Hillbilly's show, but, um, And that's kind of my, my theoretical for 2026. And this is week 1 of 5 Saturdays in January. Now I'm looking at the calendar, so my goal is at least one of these is going to be an interview. Other than that, we're going to work on keep going forward, paying attention what's going on in our heads, realizing we have a choice what we focus on, good or bad., and to take care. All right, I deleted my Facebook, Twitter, and— wait, what? Instagram. So I now have to actually— oh yeah, there's that. Yeah, so you don't get all the notifications if you're not on the app. Also makes sense. All right, Mr. DJ, sir, I believe it is your turn because it is now 9:30 and I try not to go blah blah blah for too long. If y'all are brand new, thank you for popping in. I hope there was something here useful. And like DJ said, if you want him to call you out, just say hi in the chat, whether you're on Facebook or YouTube, because that's where I'm supposed to be streaming right now. And that's kind of that. Mr. DJ, it is yours. You can do it. He unmutes himself and I'm waiting for him to, uh, pop himself on the screen. Or not, perhaps. Now he's having technical difficulties. I don't know. I see him. See, I was all excited because like, I don't know if y'all were up here last week, but I couldn't hear him. Oh, I know my problem. Huh, I turned off the speakers. Yeah, so there's that problem. All right, well, I'm gonna throw him up here. And see if that helps. But he's not going blah blah blah.

Not yet, I'm not.

Uh, all right, DJ, I'm gonna go with we're having technical difficulties. No, like you can't hear me. I'm gonna go and say goodbye to everybody. All right, so, uh, let me see if I can get through this list. Viejo, thanks for popping in. Abigail, Saria Fan, GT3, uh, thank you for popping by. Guns and Barbecue, And, uh, yeah, I didn't get to the picture, but maybe next week. Hillbilly, uh, for those of you who have not yet been to Hillbilly Ups, at the top of this hour, no matter what time zone you're in, uh, his show will start and they give away stuff like knives and fun things like that. Uh, DJ was here. I know I saw Jamie, and I know my pink favorite pink hand waving was also here. I'll known as Crabby Turtle, uh, Jamie JH5869, and we said that, I think Gizzard Gary was also here. And, and I'm going all the way to the top because normally DJ has this all under, under wraps and figures all this stuff out. Chasing Ghosts, can't forget that. Looking forward to seeing her first song of 2026, so that will be cool. All right, I think that's everybody. Y'all have a lovely day. And DJ, if you can hear me and I can't hear you, I'll just call you on the phone when we're done. All right, good night everybody, uh, see you next week. And if you know somebody who wants to get interviewed that would be good on this show, let me know, because like I said, I'm gonna try to do one a month, uh, for