Mental Health Matters - oops

Hi everybody, it is not quite 9 o'clock and it is Saturday night though. And why are we here? Because it's dark and it's nighttime? No, mental health matters because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides. So why am I here early? Oh, because I am not here early. I thought I had a stream set up for tonight, and yet I went to find it and I thought I was in it and I was not. Um, so DJ, poor DJ, he asked me for a link. I sent him a link. I have no idea where that link went or where it goes to. So, uh, what I'm doing now is Maybe sending DJ a link so he can actually get in, because, you know, it's not quite Saturday night without DJ. Uh, anyway, all right, so DJ, you will have a link coming from me. Uh, not a great search in school. All right, so, uh, I got nothing. No, I had something and it was in the description. Of the StreamYard I thought I had set up earlier today. Um, and as you guys can see, I am not in the office and the lighting is kind of garbage here, but it's okay. You don't always have to see the brightness. Um, and I'm just kind of bummed cause like I had a plan, I did. And now I don't have a plan because I was going to review what I wrote down. So that being said, welcome in everybody. It is just 9 o'clock now and I appreciate y'all showing up. Considering that there was no announcement, there was no stream. I don't know what happened to it all because I've been on the range all day with my wonderful clients. And, um, well, there's kind of that. And, um, sorry, so StreamYard changes stuff and now I'm just like, wait, what is that popping up? Because there's all sorts of new things. All right, so I will going to be What I will be going to— words. I'm gonna try to say it, everybody. So DJ is out there. DJ, like I said, there should be a link, the real correct link, not the one— the fake link that I showed you, sent you about half an hour ago, um, is in your email. Surya fan, and hi, how are you? Uh, Ballinger, uh, there he is. It tells me to add you to stage, but you're already there. You're just muted. Ta-da!

Ta-da! And now I'll disappear into the background again.

No, no, no, I just want you to understand I was not punking you. I have no idea.

No worries, no worries.

Uh, because yeah, I, I went on to the other stream, or onto a stream, and it says, oh, it's live. And I'm like, what do you mean it's live? Um, so anyway, here we are. All right, um Waha! I am trying to get caught back up because I did put notes down for myself so that I knew what we're going to talk about tonight in my calendar. But like I said, I didn't want to pop up. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I finally remembered what I want to tell you all tonight. Ah, I have been watching some YouTube and I watched a 2-hour, uh, YouTube thing on psyops because that's what was in my feed and it seemed really interesting and it really kind of was. And it just was talking about psychopaths and interesting things like that. So, uh, talk about psychopaths, how people relate to one another, liars, all that fun stuff. And And, you know, mental health matters. If we understand some of these things and, um, pay attention to them, it's interesting to find out how we work. Because I don't know if you all know, but we all have a little bit of everything in our psyche, right? Some of us have more, some of us have less. Uh, it was really kind of crazy to find out that people who were born in the wintertime are more likely to be aggressive because they were born into harsher conditions. Now, not true, not like every December baby is, um, aggressive or anything along those lines, but it's just interesting how, um, when you were born changes. So it's like, I don't know about you guys, but when we talk about are you a Leo, are you an Aries, are you a Gemini, all of those things time of year does actually— can play into who you are. All right, so ready? Here's what I learned that I want to share with you guys this week. Be more comfortable. Let go of hierarchy. Slow down. Physiology— physio— physiology— your physiological control is directly related to your mental abilities to control your your emotions. So I know most of you guys have been here on more than once. And one of the things I'll have you all do is take a deep breath. Ready? We're going to do that together because why not? Ready? Big breath in, big breath out. Notice the natural pause in your breathing. All right, ready? I like it. I think we should do it again. Are you all ready to do it one more time? Big breath in, another breath out. Just slowing down for those few moments, paying attention to just how you're breathing, is you taking control over your physiology. When we take control over our physiology, we also are able to take care of our mental state. The slower we go, the closer we get to what's called a theta state. And when we slow ourselves down, then we relax more. When we relax more, our brain can release more of the GABA, which is our safety chemical that's in our brain. And when we relax more and we feel safe, we can be calmer. So I figured with the crazy week that we've all had, that paying attention to how we can feel safe, paying attention to, um, just that moment of pause— because one of the things, and y'all have heard me say this before probably, is we are human beings, and yet so often we are caught up in human doings because we're go, go, go, go, go, gotta get this done, get that done, get this done, get that done. I know I'm guilty. I'm not saying you're like me, but I know I'm guilty of go, go, go, go, go without taking that moment. For those of you, my friends on Facebook, uh, my last post today was me taking time to sit on the grass and just look at the field and look at the sky. I took some pictures and I posted that because we forget to take that time to just be. As I'm sitting on the grass— oh my gosh, it was so funny. Um, I'm sitting on the grass next to my barn. I've got my back up against the barn looking out over the blueberry field. Sky is blue, little white fluffy clouds up there, and I hear a squeak and I look and right there about 6 feet from me is a chipmunk who is like not moving, hoping I won't notice he's actually there. And I look at the chipmunk, chipmunk's just not moving. And I'm like, I'm just curious how long. Oh no, tell me I didn't just die. Okay, sorry, my screen just went out and I'm like, I hope that didn't mean that I just disappeared. But anyway, so I'm looking at the chipmunk and it was just so funny because chipmunk was not expecting to see me and then he disappeared. And then on the other side of me, again, sorry that I don't have the pictures up here. I suppose I could bring up Facebook to show them to you. There's a log and a rock. And next thing I know, maybe 5 minutes later, I hear another squeak on the other side of me. I look over and there's two chipmunks. One came running out, went under the log like a tunnel, and the other chipmunk stopped at the very edge of the, um, of the barn. And the one chipmunk ran through the, the The log stops, looks at me, the one that's closest to me. Now this time, chipmunk's like 2, 3 feet away from me. I couldn't quite reach him, but almost. And it's just like, if I weren't sitting down on the grass and just being in nature and taking that moment to just chill out, I wouldn't have the chipmunk story to tell you. I wouldn't be able to tell you like how great it is just to sit outside and look up at the sky and remind you that we all have this opportunity to do this on a regular basis. And why do we want to do this? Well, we want to do this because slowing down our bodies allows us to rest. Now, could we just sit on the couch and be, you know, a lump? We can. Taking advantage of being in nature definitely helps. And yes, I don't have a whole crew to go, "Hey," but I do see Mario is out there. And Mr. DJ, since it's been 10 minutes, I'm thinking that perhaps since there's folks here saying, "Hey," and other things, that perhaps it's your turn to give everybody a quick shout out.

I'm happy to do that this evening. We have, uh, Sariafan93 is out there, so is Mike Ballinger, Crabby Turtle, uh, he's the pink hand waving and he's here. Chris Brancato, the Atomic Punk, is here as well. Abigail Sorcha Finnegan is in the room. Crabby Turtle, I got you on there twice, man. Yeah, two times the good. Gizzard Gary, Viejo, Jamie JH 586, and recognize that Mario Mosin was the most recent in the room. And that's your roll call for tonight. I don't know how, like I won't.

Okay, go ahead.

I'm about to say, I don't know how, how much, uh, more prepared I could have been for this evening. And while you were leading us through the at least 2 breaths slowly in and out, it might have gotten to the 3rd, I don't know, because at that point I was in the background hyperventilating and writing down people's names and crabby turtles twice. Um, so I'm gonna do those, those breaths sometime soon now, but I wanted to bring up this comment out there from Viejo. He says, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.

Got to put the brakes on and find an off-ramp now and then, no doubt." Yes, and that is so true for so many, so many things, because, and I teach this in class all the time, it's like the harder we try, the faster we try to go, usually the more we screw up. But the reason I want to keep you on is because I want to ask you a question. Is like, for me, sitting on the grass with my, my back against the barn door and just chilling is like one of my favorite things. What's one of your favorite things that you like to do that you are fully present, part of nature, all that sort of thing?

Ocean shore. Doesn't matter which one.

That's why you're so jealous I live in Connecticut and I can go to the coast.

I am in the land of no coast and you just rubbed it in. Yeah, that's right. I tell you where my very sacred, awesome, you know, space is. Yeah, I don't get that. So what I— that, um, here in the Midwest. But what I do get is the kind of green that we have and cool evening breezes like the one we have this evening with the window open and and the moon coming out. So yeah, twilight surrounded by the lushness of Midwestern nature and a cool breeze is my beach substitute.

Gotcha. Well, yeah, and I was gonna say, good, good, good catch there, because I was gonna kind of go with, no, no, no, tell me something that's around you that you can, without much thought, be able to take responsibility for, or, you know, get to. Um, so I'm gonna pull up Jamie's comment. Gotta smell the flowers every once in a while. So yeah, and it can be whatever flowers you like, of course. It's— are you a rose person? Are you a peony person? My favorite happened to be lilacs, and they have such a very short season. We have a lilac bush out in front, but that poison ivy was trying to kill it. So it's kind of a bummer. Um, but yeah, stop and smell the flowers, take a breath, all of those fun things. So, um, yeah, I guess tonight is really about just the slowing of— the slowing of down. Wow, words are hard sometimes. Um, slow down. That's it. It can be that. Simple, right? When we talk about mental health, especially when I am testifying and talking to people about, you know, guns don't kill people, it's people do the things that cause death, and it's not just guns. But when we're talking about suicide and we're talking about mental health, um, our mental health is the most important because you and I really and truly only have control over ours. I can tell you stuff today that may or may not make you feel better. I can show you things. I can tell you to take a breath. You get to decide whether or not you're going to do any of it. I cannot help. Um, and this is the thing that I think a lot of folks miss. Possibly is when it comes to your mental health, you're in control. It's your choice. Uh, I don't know, I don't think— I didn't think we see G23 out there, but, um, when you are suicidal, when you think it's time to go, it's your decision if you're going to do the thing that's going to cause you to go. And One of the challenges is when we're at those funerals where people have committed suicide, then we cannot fix it. And we're like, why couldn't I help them? And the answer is because it's not your responsibility. You didn't do it. Um, they did. So to keep us from committing suicide, to remind us to take care of ourselves and our own mental health, do the thing that slows you down, do the thing that gives you pause. And here's the other cool thing I learned in watching this, um, PSYOPs video, and it was: composure is contagious. So as much as I just told you, you can't change anything, if you remain calm, you have a better chance of allowing others to be calm around you. If you're spazzing out, you're a good chance of getting other people to spazz out around you. Because you know when someone gets really excited and they can't wait to tell you something and you just can feel it and you're like, what, what, what? And so you're contagious one way or another. I can be contagious one way or another. I could be very sad and bummed and it would be very sad and bumming. But here's the thing, I'm on the internet. You can turn me off at any point in time you want, so you don't have to be with that. You get to decide what goes in here. You get to decide what actions you take with the things that get fed in. So make sure you're— sorry, I shouldn't laugh at the things. Make sure you're paying attention. Now, I do love Abigail's thing, and I don't know why it made me laugh, but I'd rather hear your problems than read your obituary. And this is a challenge that so many people don't realize is— well, maybe they do realize, but we don't want to burden somebody else with our problems because we know everybody's got problems. It's not a matter of like one person— like, I don't have worse problems than you, I just have different problems than you. So if I've got problems, I don't do my problems. Why would I want to tell you my problems? Because now you gotta deal with my problems too. Well, as women, I am sorry, but we are talking, um, in that we are talky, not talking, wrong word. But women statistically say almost 1,000 more words a day than men, just for, you know, random stats that you may or may not, you know, win $1,000 with on Jeopardy, if they even have that show anymore. I don't know, but sharing our problems is not really truly a burden to the person who gets to listen. And please, for those of you who do share problems or you listen to someone share problems, remember sometimes people are just sharing them not because they're expecting you to fix them. They're not trying to get you to find the magic wand that makes it all better. A lot of times just sharing your problem, whatever it happens to be, lightens your load, and that's enough. And, you know, if you're listening to someone else's problems, you are not responsible for solving that problem. You are welcome to offer help, and that is awesome, um, but you don't have to fix it all. And I think that's one of our other challenges, is we hear or see other people suffering, and when they are suffering, you want to help. And that's awesome. But just remember, sometimes that suffering is just being there and say, hey, I'll go out for coffee, we can talk about nothing that has to do with your problems. I just want to spend some time with you because we can. Um, oh, I, I got— DJ's working hard in the back room. He's pulling up all of these things. Um, daisies and roses. Wild rose bush my dad planted years ago in our side yard doesn't produce much bloom, so Yeah, um, I don't even know what daisies smell like, but roses, absolutely. And all different roses smell so different. Uh, we had a generational rose bush in my— at my grandma's, and then it finally kind of died because roses can be hard to take care of. Uh, I like Viejo's, uh, ways that he chills, right? Many ways. Could be a paddle out on the Pacific, could be my daily morning walk, spending some time with your friends at the cribbage board. Dude, you could totally trounce me on cribbage. I know enough to add to 15, sort of, kind of. Um, and, uh, so yeah, there's so many different ways that we can find that quiet time. Um, all right, so Abigail— yeah, so I'm with Abigail a bit as far as just connecting to physical earth. So in the woods, around— I'm gonna say it wrong— Samhain or Imbolc. Um, just hang out under my favorite tree and share a moment with some ravens. Yeah, see, that's so cool. We have mostly crows here, not gonna lie. Um, and yeah, so Abigail's got ravens, I got chipmunks. That's what I got, chipmunks. And we have squirrels and we have rabbits. But I do laugh, uh, or I joke about on our range We have the range bunny who's a literal range bunny. We're not talking girls in bikinis. We have, uh, Charlie the chipmunk who will just run back and forth under our feet while we're shooting. Then we have the mourning doves who will actually land on our targets as we're shooting. So I don't have the most intelligent animals around me, but we got animals all over the place, and I do love, uh, that connection to critters. Not gonna lie. So it was really funny and fun for me to have the chipmunks to the left of me and the right of me. So, all right, I think I got caught up with all of the things that, uh, DJ had starred. Um, Sowen. All right, is it Sowen? Is that what it is? Um, anyway, Runs with a Cow. Cowen, maybe. Sowen. Yeah, Sowen. All right, anyway. There you go. I don't know what time of year that is, but that's okay. I see Mr. Mark Thomas is in the room. I know, DJ, you're supposed to call these people out, but I can't help myself. So hi, Mark. I do love the beard. Oh, and my son went to airsoft today. That's why I was thinking of you today. All right, so mental health matters. Why? Because we all have mental health. What do we get to share with people? 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are suicides. And if we want to go cray-cray, we can also talk about how 90%, 80% of, you know, firearm deaths occur in gun-free zones and all of those things. So yeah, TJ, you got anything else do you think is important for us to just rehash or discuss today?

I like the idea of the slow down, take a deep breath, and if you can't find that flower garden or that beach to to imagine one or grab a piece of nature that is nearby and find some centering moments. I don't wanna sound too existential there in the practice, but most definitely it's a reflection of better health if you're able to just take it easy and remind yourself that you can. And if you need to remind yourself that you can, please go ahead and do it. Even in the busiest of life, I'm sure that you can find some time for yourself.

I was so excited. I got a phone call from a new prospective student, and she's like, I've been told that shooting is very calming. And I'm like, yes, it's the best Zen practice that I know of. And so that's gonna be fun when she gets here. But anyhow, all right, sir. Well, if there isn't anything else, then I think we shall bid everyone adieu.

And you do you. I will, I will. I'm going to drop the link, uh, to Hillbilly Up's chat that's coming up, uh, top of the cup, top of the coming hour. And wanted to make sure that everybody gets a little reminder note at the end again this week, uh, bring your friends. It's great to have a crowd out there. Um, I know that there are some challenges out there in our world that this week that are fresh in people's hearts and minds, and taking those deep breaths and finding those people and that communion that you can with those who will listen to your words without anger and will give you the kind of support that you need so that you can provide it to others in turn. I think it's a pretty good idea. Anyhow, thanks for joining us tonight. Sorry if N93 Mike Ballinger was out there. Chris Broncato, Abigail Sorcha Finnegan, Crabby Turtle, Gizzer Gary, Viejo, Jamie JH 586, Mario Mosin, Mark Thomas. Thanks for being here. Come back again next week. Until we see you then, be safe, have fun, take care of yourself and your crew, and rock! We're out.