In this pre‑recorded video, Brooke (Speaker A) shares a raw, chronological personal testimony about the severe sexual and physical trauma she endured from childhood through adolescence, including molestation, school rape, gang rape, bullying, and subsequent self‑destructive behaviors such as alcoholism, suicidal ideation, and prostitution. She frames these experiences as a catalyst for a deep exploration of hate and anger, describing them as poisonous emotions that only harm the holder. Throughout the narrative she emphasizes the necessity of acknowledging, processing, and ultimately releasing these feelings. Brooke recounts how, after years of pain, she began a healing journey: stopping drinking, confronting her abuser in counseling, forgiving him, and eventually finding a supportive partner with whom she has built a 30‑year marriage. She presents forgiveness not as condoning the abuse but as a means to free herself from the grip of hatred. The video concludes with an invitation for viewers to reflect on their own anger, seek release, and consider the story a guide for faster personal growth. Speaker B then offers community gratitude, acknowledges chat participants, and encourages sharing the video.
Chapters
All right, so hi everybody. This is being pre-recorded so that you can watch it when I am doing other things, but I have written a story and it is about how hate and anger are poisons that you're feeding yourself. Now a lot of people may or may not know this because hate is really hard to deal with. That anger that you feel, that just pissed-offness, all of that, it feels righteous. It feels like, well, how dare they do this? Or how— and there's lots of things that would go on in our heads that explain to us, or we rationalize as to why it's okay to be mad and angry. And I just want you to understand, I'm not saying you can't get mad and angry. The story I'm about to tell you is about why it's so important to let go of that anger and that hate, because it does not serve you. Anything that you're doing, you should ask yourself a question: is this serving me? Is this to my best and highest good? Does this serve my well-being? And I promise you, hate and anger are not two emotions that serve your highest and best good. Hate and anger are emotions that we must go through, that we must feel, we must acknowledge, and we must deal with. And we must learn how to deal with them swiftly. The more we practice, the better we get at it. So with that, I'm going to read you my story. So anger and hate are a deadly poison that you can die or learn from. I have done both. Almost. I didn't die, but it was a possibility. This will not be an easy conversation for some to listen to, so be warned, if there are young ones, those who— or those who are delicate, now would be a good time to stop listening. Also, please understand, as we go through the rough parts of the story, this is not a cry for sympathy or pity. It's just part of the experiences that made me who I am now. This story includes the stolen innocence of a child by molestation, rape in a school setting, gang rape in public, suicidal thoughts and plans, alcoholism, and other destructive behavior like prostitution. That's one side of the story. On the other side is hope, undying compassion, believing in the good of others, realization and learning, realizing that sometimes what seems like a tragedy is really a blessing. Are you ready? Here we go. When we are kids, we are taught to do what our parents tell us to do. We are also taught that adults will keep us safe and take care of us. When we are young, I'm talking in the single digits of our years, we listen to and do what we are told. When something happens to us, like molestation by an adult, we become confused. We know something isn't right, but it's an adult, so we're confused. This is what happened to me for quite a few years. I knew what was happening wasn't correct. However, he was an adult, I was a kid, I must behave. As a child having things happen to them that you know shouldn't be happening. When you're a child, you just don't know what to do. Fourth through seventh grade, I was also getting bullied at school and had very few friends. I begged my parents to send me away to boarding school to get away from both situations, the bullying and the molestation. My dad had gone to boarding school and liked it, So away I went, so excited to get away from the pain and confusion. Well, it was great for the first 3 months. Then 2 upperclassmen decided that I was their prey. They would chase me into a bathroom, lock the door, threaten to kill me if I told or made noise. One would hold me down while the other would do other things. This went on Until one day I realized I could bite them, and based on what they were making me do, they did beg for my release, at which time they stopped doing what they were doing. They left me alone. However, at this point I'm only 13 years old. Summertime vacation, now I'm 14, spent at the lake. Such a great way to spend the summer days, meet friends at the beach, hang out, go home. That was most of my summer. It was awesome until this one day I went to the beach. My friends weren't anywhere to be found. There was a new group of boys around that seemed cool. There were 6 of them. There was a little dock, you know, off this general swimming area, and one of the guys, hey, let's go over there. And being the kind-hearted person that apparently I hadn't learned at that point, because again, I'm still just a kid, We go over there. Next thing I know, I'm under the dock having my bathing suit taken off, pinned by each guy holding an arm or a leg or my head while the sixth guy did whatever he wanted. I struggled. I even tried drowning myself to get away. That's why one of the guys was holding my head to hold it up so I wouldn't keep my head underwater. And they were done with me. And they left, and I walked home. People always say, why don't you report these things? I'm a kid. What am I going to report? I didn't know their names. I don't know where they lived. It was my fault. That shame, that pain, that suffering. Well, this must be what I deserve. By 14 years old, I had learned that I was only good for sex. That was all anyone was interested in. I did well in school, I played sports, I helped teach Sunday school. Everyone on the outside looking in figured I was the all-American girl. On my inside, I was a wreck. I was mad, depressed, thought I was useless, and I was very angry. I was angry at the adult who stole my childhood. I hated him with a raging fire. My hate for him spilled over onto my mom for not protecting me. My anger was the poison I was feeding myself. The hate and anger I felt, the more I drank to get drunk and numb the pain. The more anger and hate I felt made me hate who he made me become. I thought the world was better off without me. I wanted to be gone. That would show him. I had a plan to kill myself that would look like an accident. Prostitution was also a possibility for a career choice as I started to learn that I could get things in exchange for my willingness to do what had already been done to me. I think it was my senior year in high school that I finally realized my hate had zero effect on the adult or the boys who did what they did to me. The anger and hate only hurt me. It did nothing to the things that I hated, and that is when the healing can begin. It almost killed me. I had a plan to kill myself. They never knew. It wouldn't be any skin off their teeth if I didn't exist because they wouldn't even know my hatred for them is what caused me to do what I would have done. So this is why I am so passionate about letting people know my story. Anger and hate can be learned from. Don't take all the years it took me to learn to let go. Be angry, pissed off, and then let it go. Find your way to being a better person. The healing process began as soon as I let go. I was immediately freer. A weight had been lifted. I was able to forgive. Forgiveness is not saying that what happened is okay. It's for the person who was holding on to the hate and animosity. Forgiveness is freedom from the past that didn't go according to the plan you wanted, because nobody wants that for their childhood. I mostly stopped drinking by the end of my freshman year of college, and I lost my place. Um, I asked the adult who had taken my child to come to counseling with me, and he did. He apologized, made no excuses, just said he was selfish for doing what he did. In college, I was fortunate enough to find the man of my dreams, or I should say he found me, and we have been together for over 30 years now. Life is hard, but we learn from the pain and suffering that we experience. It can crush us and lead us to worse behaviors like addiction, or we can rise up from the depths of despair and become a brighter light in the world because of the darkness we have experienced. Like I said at the beginning, I'm not here for pity and, "Oh, I'm so sorry that happened." The darkness is what makes us realize how important it is to be the light. Hate and anger is nothing but pure darkness. I have done both of these things. I've been crushed and I have tried to become a light. I tell you this story so when I share with you that hate and anger are a poison, you really understand. You can learn from my mistakes and let go sooner so you can grow brighter faster. And that is what I have for you, my friends. If you have questions or comments, feel free to ask, uh, leave them in the comments wherever you are watching this. I'm not sure where I'm putting it yet. So I hope that's helpful. I hope perhaps this will help you understand when you're feeling that hate and anger. There's lots of things to be mad about, there's lots of things to be angry about, but it doesn't serve you. It doesn't pick you up. It doesn't give you anything other than that rage feeling that you're so righteous because I have to be mad at this thing because it's a horrible thing. I'm not saying that any of the things that happened aren't horrible. We need to have those feelings, they're there for a reason, but we need to know how to let go of them. So with that, I wish you the best. I hope all is well in your life. I hope that this helps in some way, shape, or form, and may you be blessed and have an amazing rest of your life. And if we're ever to meet, Awesome. If we are not, I hope I was a blessing anyway.
Brooke is an absolute blessing to this community. I'm proud to be— to call her friend, and I'm glad that some of her friends gathered this evening, uh, including in the audience this night. Tonight we had Mike White Gun Websites was out there, so was the Crabby Turtle. Guns and Barbecue is out in the chat, so is Abigail Sorcha Finnegan. Sorry Fan 93 is out there. Good to see Viejo out there. We got Hillbilly Up as well. Mark Thomas, Garage Guy 879. Yeah, folks, go ahead and leave comments on this one. Share this program out to anybody that you think could benefit by it, and I know some, many of you will probably be able to do that. So until we see you all again, be safe, have fun, take care of your crew and yourself, and you always gotta rock.
