Mental Health Matters- Setting up Goals

I could do this like my little avatar, like I'm waving at you guys. Um, hey everybody, welcome to Mental Health Matters, aka Suicide Prevention Saturday. Started back in 2018, Saturday nights, 9 PM Eastern. If you're watching the replay, you're watching it whenever you had a chance to. For those of you who are here live and in person, hi, welcome. I'm Brooke Cheney. Most of y'all know, at least those of you who are commenting. Crabby Turtle, first in the room with his little pink hand waving, always. DJ is here in the back room and in the side chat on the YouTube channel. For those of you watching on Facebook, say something, let me know, because I know last week folks were on Facebook side and were commenting and I did not see their comments. So let me know. All right, why are we here? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about in the media are suicides. And if we talk about suicide prevention and mental health, not only do we possibly save lives of those who may consider committing suicide with a firearm, we can also help those who are committing, who are considering committing suicide any way possible. So why are we here every Saturday? We want to make sure people have resources. So if you want to talk to someone, you can call 1-800-273-TALK. Don't want to talk? Then you can text to 741741-TALK, and it will hook you up with somebody if you are in crisis. Remember, folks, these resources are not just if you are in crisis. If you're worried about someone, if you need to talk to someone, say, hey, I've got a friend or family member and I'm not sure, it's a little bit sketchy, call them to get advice. Because why am I here? So that people will talk about these things and so you've got options. So give me a second because DJ, how about you take 2 seconds to come on here, say hi to everybody while I go cough. Get myself something to drink real quick.

Right on. Well, we have definitely had a few people join since, uh, Crabby Turtle. I'm always so pleased to see Crabby Turtle out there every week throwing the pink hand waving, and, uh, I think he lurks for the remainder of the show because oftentimes at the end he'll also throw in a goodbye. And, uh, it's just— it's good to know that there are people that, uh, come every week. And I also I want to thank you for being here every week, um, and salute Brooke, because every Saturday evening there's something going on in this spot, and that is the reason that we gather. And so gather together with us again tonight, our, uh, Crabby Turtle, Sorry Fan 93, Mark Thomas is in the room, and Abigail Sorcha Finnegan was the last one to join us out there.

Voilà! Thank you so much. Yes, as I started talking, you and I had been talking before the show started, but then I'm like As I started going, yes, I need something. So thank you for that, DJ. All right, so today, tonight, whenever you're watching this, replay viewers and whatnot, we're going to talk about goals and mental health and how does that help you. So I don't know if y'all know, but it's now November. It is the 11th month. Next Tuesday will be the 11th day of the 11th month. And on the 11th hour, we shall be listening to speeches here in Harwinton because we always go— we— I always go to the veterans event on Tuesdays. So I close my— I always put a little thing out there so that I can keep that closed so I can go see and hear about our veterans. So what happens on the 11th day, 11th hour? Guess what? We're not talking about veterans today. But as we get towards the end of something, right, uh, Abigail and I will often have the conversation about the circular wheels as far as the ebb and flow of our life, of our day, of time. As we're coming fall into winter, as we're getting closer to the shortest day of the week— is for week— of the year as far as light goes, We are closing down the end of the year, so it seems like a great time to talk about goals. Why do I want to talk about goals? Well, because there's a lot of stuff in our life that we think we should do. And if you've been with me long enough, you know what I'm about to say. Maybe, maybe not. I could be wrong. One of the things Tony Robbins has taught us was do not should all over yourself, right? Because there should be things that I do. I should lose weight. I should eat better. I should exercise. I should get to the gym. I should write that book. I should have better— whatever the thing is. Most of us are guilty of that from time to time. DJ, if you want, when you come back on, you can tell me all the things that you should be doing. Um, but setting goals gives us specific things to do. I.e., if I know— because I just finished— oh, I almost forgot, I might ask you guys to vote for me at the end of this thing. DJ, I don't think I sent you the gold digger, um, thing. All right, but remind me at the end to do the gold digger thing. Um, I just finished a 6-week competition for weightlifting and nutrition and all of that. And the goal was to stay focused for 6 weeks. Now, because it's fitness, knowing that it was only going to be for 6 weeks allows me to stay focused for that amount of time. It's not like I'm just going to eat another salad. It's not like I'm just going to eat another protein drink or a chicken breast or whatever the thing is, or another can of tuna. So by breaking our goals into specific time frames, it makes it easier. Let me know in the chat if you can, have you ever set a SMART goal? Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, with a timetable. I didn't do any visuals for today, apologize for that. Um, but SMART goals are meant to allow your brain to get whatever things you, you're thinking you should do out of here onto a piece of paper or onto a calendar. So you have a thing you want to do, you've made that decision, you've decided what your timetable is going to be, it is something that's absolutely measurable, and you can go for that. Oh, yay. Sorry, I'm like, I made stuff small and then I could see Mark's thing. So yeah, I've shared the challenge thing with some people. And for those of you who are not prepared for it yet, it is me in a bathing suit. So there is that because it's about body composition. And it's very exciting for me because the challenge that I just did was 6 weeks, but I've been losing weight since about this time last year, and I'm down like 50, 55 pounds, give or take. So it's very exciting to have those, um, the before and after pictures, even if most of us don't ever like taking those before pictures. As far as I know, I don't know, anybody says, yes, let's take a picture of me as flabby as I can possibly be so that when I get skinnier, you you can see how less flabby I am. So, oh, so there is that. Um, all right, so wow, hey guys, sorry. So I hid the comments, but then they're showing up over here and I'm like, I don't know what I hit to make that happen. So I apologize if that's, uh, distracting to anybody else besides me. Um, so anyway, setting our goals. Getting what we want to do out of here, putting on our calendar helps quiet the jumble and the information that goes on here. I did see Hillbilly real quick, and he's on at the top of this hour. If you're not aware, um, go check out his show as well. But like, most of us have tons of stuff that we are doing on a regular basis. And our goals give us something that is out of our ordinary day-to-day to give us something to look forward to. Like the Goal Digger Challenge I just did, it was each week we had a different focus. Um, a lot of you guys actually got to see my sit-up video on the YouTube channel, and the— that second week was your abs, and we did a whole bunch of different ab workouts each day you did 100 of something that was just for your abs, and then the following week was like squats, and the next week was do something sexy for yourself, or, um, something along those lines. So goals make it a little bit easier to really do the mundane things we know we need to do. When people are here and I'm trying to teach them, one of the things I will do is in my videos just say, hey, look at the sparkly smiley face. And it's because I put these stickers on the mag wells in the guns so that they can have something to look for. So for those of you who shoot and you look at your mag well, normally all you'll see is a hole there versus, um, something sparkly. So by having something there for them to look at that is more interesting. These are your goals. It's like something you do all the time without thinking about it. You can gamify life. When we gamify life and we realize that you are making the rules for how you play your game of life, um, it makes it a lot easier. All right, Mr. DJ, we are about 10 minutes-ish in. And oops, wait, you can put yourself up. Yes, yes, there you are.

Yes, I did the wrong thing. You're good, you're good. And yes, you're like— you having— like, I would not have pictures like that up of myself. That is a bold— that's some brave stuff right there. And you looked fantastic. And out there, out there in the chat, um, Somebody, who was it, that said they don't think they could vote twice? It might have been Abigail. Yeah, if I could vote twice, I would. Yeah, I would. And I, and I went ahead and dropped the link out there in the text chat so folks later can watch, um, the sit-up vid.

Okay. Yeah, no, definitely. Um, what was I gonna do? Um, all right, so gamifying, playing a game with yourself, stuff that is mundane. What is your favorite thing that is boring as all get-out, but you can make a game for yourself? Like something as simple as putting something sparkly. Maybe that's just because I'm a girl, I'll do sparkly things. But like, what's something that you've been able to do for yourself?

In a chat the other night, passing time during family road trips or any kind of road trips, I guess, came up and different people were talking about how their family would distract them. Some that had, you know, in the era of handheld games,, of the style powered by a 9-volt battery. That's what I kind of remember others of my friends having. But I made the reference to Slug Bug. Now, I haven't really played Slug Bug in decades, and I carry over sort of a version of that when I solo drive. And I drove to and from a city here in Nebraska last night, and I did my own version of Slug Bug, which is really just It's— this is going to sound boring, but it helps me to pass the time. If it's the same make, model, and color, I get a point. If it's not, then I don't get a point. And I rarely, in say like an hour, will see the same make and model. But every once in a while, there'll be somebody like doing a car delivery, or if there's a rack behind a semi, that's an easy one to, to, to nail sometimes. So it's become like an, an ultimate version of that, one that's almost unwinnable in anything other than a long days drive sort of thing. And it isn't that I'm paying attention to every vehicle on the road so attentively sort of thing, but it is just that I will carry over something to do. The way that it becomes really effective for me in keeping the drive from being boring is I'm— I allow myself to be reminded of things that I did when I took road trips with my little brother and my mom when I was when we were young. And, you know, that stuff being 40 years ago now, easily, I, I'm, I'm not running out of memories, but I'm running out of my ability to recall all of them. So when some golden memory from the past, like my little brother having an affinity for green Volkswagens when we play Slug Bug kind of thing, I'll get a smile. But, you know, I also sometimes I'll get a tear., and that's the way that I kind of game myself through what would be normal, boring, everyday drives across the flat earth of the Midwest.

All right, so we got a question out there that I also have the same question. Slug bug and punch buggy, same thing? You see a VW Bug and you punch the person who didn't see it first? Yeah.

Okay, didn't allow us to— Mom didn't allow us to punch, but yeah, I'm pretty sure Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Oh, that's cool.

All right, I want to grab one of Abigail's things. Uh, dry fire, uh, gets boring after the first couple hundred reps. So yeah, so Lena Miklik, uh, who's one of my coaches, and she was talking about how for, for dry fire specifically, what she would do is like pick something like 10 reps, give herself a bullet, 10 reps, give herself a bullet. And once she earned 100 rounds, she would then go do live fire. So that's how she gamified her dry fire. And one of the things I tell my students with gamifying this is that for different things, you do different things. Because like when my students are brand new and they don't know how to rack a slide yet, I'm like, don't do 10 reps, do like 2 reps of that and give yourself a bullet. So change the thing so that it makes more sense for you. But yeah. Oh, so apparently Abigail's mom did allow punching.

So—

oh wait, do you do padiddle as well, DJ?

I know how to do a paradiddle because I'm a percussionist, but I don't know a padiddle.

What's a padiddle? Padiddle is also similar to punch buggy, but it was Whenever you saw at nighttime, you can only play this game because it's when the car only has one headlight, it's padiddle. So then you say padiddle and you punch the person. So that's the other one. Yeah, see, Mark knows.

Mark knows. I didn't know that one, but I just call it— I don't call it out loud, but in my mind all the time I think Cyclops. Every time I see a one headlight, that, that, and then I go into a song by the Wallflowers from the '90s.

'Cause you got options. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, games are what make life more fun. And I mean, that's really cool that like you use them to pull back memories from when your family was more whole and you had everybody. So I just remember like, 'cause you were talking about too, is like those long drives where we play the ABC game. And it was, it was, we would drive from Winsted, Connecticut to Saratoga, New York, and we knew we had to get to Q before we got to Antique Row, because if we didn't get to Q by Antique Row, we were going to be stuck on Q for the rest of the ride. So it is all of those little things.

So, all right, you ever do the thing when you have like a lot of stuff to do in front of you, like you're sorting thousands of something, or there are 200 plates after the, you know, fantastic party you had, you're standing at this thing where you kind of— where you're kind of like, you convince yourself to do, oh well, just 10 more and then I'll stop. Oh well, if I can get like 5 more done before— and it's like some random thing on a clock, like before the bottom of the hour. I'll have 5,000 of these done. I didn't do it. Okay, I'll take another half an hour to get it done. Like, I guess that's the most frequent use of the theory that we're talking about here, of like how to game yourself into things. Yeah, put myself against an imaginary clock. I could do that for days, I guess.

Right. And then there's the, you know, the journey of a thousand miles starts with first step. Yeah, there you go, just one. And this is the other reason why setting up your goals and looking at what the big goal is and then breaking it down into little pieces— because I, I agree with Abriel, it's like boring to do 10,000 reps of something. However, if I can do 10, 10 times, all of a sudden that's a lot more manageable. And then if I can do 10 times times 10, that also seems less overwhelming than doing 1,000 of anything. So having a goal gives us something to look forward to. Figuring out how to break it apart so it makes sense in smaller chunks so that we can attain it gives us that empowerment to realize that nothing is impossible. So that is kinda the whole point of goal setting. And that's why like the Goal Digger Challenge was cool. Oh, guess what? What? I'm not going in for knee surgery this month. Wow. So yeah, you and I didn't talk, but now I'm telling everybody all at the same time. Yeah, so on Tuesday this week, speaking of goals, because again, part of the reason for going to the Gold Digger Challenge is I want to get under 200 pounds before knee surgery. On Tuesday, I went back to the surgeon and I said, I want to have as much flexibility in my knee as possible. And he's like, well, then we don't want to give you a full knee, we'd give you a partial knee. And then he's like, but really, maybe we can just do some platelet therapy and see if that gets you out of enough pain so we can push your surgery down the road. So instead of surgery on the 19th, I'm going for platelet therapy on the 25th of this month, which I hear is going to be spectacularly uncomfortable, but I imagine they'll still be less, uh, um, uncomfortable than having my knee cut into. So fingers crossed, everybody.

So that's awesome. Anything before the knife is kind of like my, my theory. Um, that's— I'm glad to hear that. Yeah, best of luck with that therapy.

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I know, and it's like fingers crossed that it works out. Um, but I love having surgeons who will talk you out of surgery. And, um, if I hadn't told him what I wanted as far as my flexibility and stuff, he wouldn't have known not to do it. So, oh yeah, Hillbilly, easier to do wraps when you were listening to videos of Mental Health Matters. There is that already. Everybody, y'all can stand up and we can just do like 5 squats. And if you haven't done 10 squats today, you just did 500% more, right? Something like that. Because math is hard.

But that was like— don't make me math.

I don't make you math. But yeah, this is the thing is one little thing, right? It doesn't take a lot to get a lot done. And I feel that in today's world, it is so easy. There you go, Mark finished my sentence before. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed. Literally, there's a pile of laundry in my basement, and I will go down there and be like, oh, but then if I just do one load, I'm good. I do one more load and one more load, and before I know it, it's really not that bad. Um, so that is kind of that.

All right, so yeah, it seems like the biggest challenge before you get to that comment is actually getting off the button of that first step. Like, at least that's one of my greatest challenges, is just actually getting that first step in. And you know, sometimes we need to push from behind. Get us going on stuff. So it's good to have people around us like those that gather here on Saturday evenings for that kind of motivation.

Sometimes we need push. Well, and absolutely, because the other thing— I was listening to a Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins thing this weekend, and they talk about that momentum thing. It's like they're talking about your, uh, space travel, right? To get that rocket off the ground is the hardest thing to do because that's where all of the energy comes from. And then as it gets closer and closer to space, it needs less and less energy. So yeah, that first step, that first push is always the hardest. That just do something. And as much as I hate Nike because I just got sick and tired of hearing just do it, they're not wrong.

So I like that analogy too. Well, I guess maybe because I'm a sci-fi kind of person, a little bit less than space. But yeah, the amount of power it can take in those first mighty struggles in a mission before its completion and the smooth sailing that zero-G becomes. I like that analogy.

That's a good one. Well, and I mean, it's just what you were talking about before too, where it's like if you have 1,000 of something to do and you do 50, you're like, all right, I'm going to do 50 more. All right, I'm going to do 50 more. It makes it less overwhelming. Um, and so there is all of that. Okay. All right, sir. 25 minutes in. What else is there? Oh, we got to put up the links, right? We're gonna put the Gold Digger links and I have a free training coming up on, uh, November 17th, Monday. So I actually have a link I want to drop for everybody. This is going to be a free training on Monday night, 7 PM Eastern. It is going to be the USCCA, a portion of the USCCA Use of Force chapter, because regardless of whether you're a firearms person or not, if someone causes you harm or is going to attempt to cause you harm, Use of Force is going to be talking about how to react and what some of the legal implications are. It's out of my lovely USCCA thing I have. It's probably the most talked about chapter that I use in my classes because a lot of people want to know gun laws, and I tell them you don't necessarily need to use no gun laws, but if you're going to defend yourself if someone were to, um, attack you, you kind of want to understand how this all works. So that Monday night, we're going to do a shorter version of the whole thing. It's only going to be an hour. It's going to be lecture style, and at the end you'll be able to come on. It's going to be a Zoom class, so you must log in and sign up on their the, the link I just put in so you get the Zoom link, because I can't do this live, uh, because we'll be talking about stuff that I can't talk about on T— with TOSs of Facebook and YouTube and all of those things.

Would you like— would you like the bombshells voting link, um, out there on the text chat?

I did have that. If you have that, you can do that. Yeah, I forgot. Did I send that to you? Yeah, it's been a very blurry week. Um, and I'm super excited because even though I am not going in for knee surgery, I am still going to close a Great Start Shooting School for December— from November 19th, like I said I was going to, until at least December 19th and possibly into the first of the year. Because setting those goals now, as it gets darker earlier it's a great time to come inside and sort of plan for the next year. And for 2026, my goal is to revamp A Great Start Shooting School to serve my students better than how I am, get to reach more people and that sort of thing. So that's another reason to talk about goals this time of year. Uh, next weekend, uh, the 15th, my goal is to have a prerecorded something up here for you guys. Because that is my husband's birthday weekend. So I'm hoping I'm doing something— not that I don't love you all, but I'm hoping I'm doing something fun chatting with you guys next Saturday night. Don't take it personal, and I might still be here anyway. Um, and, uh, for those of you who are on the Facebook side, because when DJ throws up on YouTube you can't, uh, see it on Facebook, but if you go to bombshell.chat challenge/voting. Put in your name, email, and phone number, I think, and then you can choose who you're voting for. Vote for me, in case you didn't know who you're supposed to be voting for. If you scroll all the way down the bottom of the page, you will be able to see me and my before and after pictures, and not just in the 6 weeks. If I show you my before and after from this past year, or even July to now, they're even more exciting, um, because my, my, uh, my coach actually had put those together for me. And if I could find them real fast, I would show them to you, but perhaps I will save that for another time. Okay, use of force on the 17th. Bombshell, uh, voting ends at midnight on Tuesday, November 11th. I believe is what it says. Feel free to share that out, uh, let other people vote for me because I could win a $1,000 gift card to Tiffany's. And who doesn't like sparkly things? I like sparkly things and I would love to get sparkly things. Jamie, how dare you be late! I don't know, should, should we— should it be okay that you're sorry? It— well, you know, um, I will see you on Hillbilly's later at the top of this hour for those of you who are going to join us over there. Um, just getting ready to sign off, shared a couple of things, AKA Bombshell Challenge and a great— oh, you know what? Haha. Sometimes I almost think that I'm smart. Uh, hold on. I'm going to share the whole stinking thing. Um, that is the— what the Use of Force website looks like. You click on the register, 100 seats remaining. It's not going to get filled up, there's not 100 people that are going to go to that. Uh, however, feel free to take a seat whether you can make it or not because then you will get added on to my email list. Although I did just realize this, if you sign up here, you're also going to get added onto the USCCA email list. So I will warn you now, they can be spam lots. So there is that. All right, sir, are you ready? Did I forget anything we'd already talked about?

No, and you hit all the things that I knew that you were going to be, uh, before the show ended. So good job.

All right. Yes. Awesome.

Right on. Well, everybody, thank you for being here for another Saturday evening on the A Great Start Shooting School Challenge, or Challenge Channel. I have a challenge for everyone: bring a friend next week. Another challenge: send a link to this program or one from the past that you would like to share with somebody so that they know that this resource is here. It was great having everybody out there, and among us this evening were The Crabby Turtle, SorryFan93, Mark Thomas, Abigail Sorcha Finnegan, Hillbilly Up, and Jamie JH586. Um, Hillbilly Up is next at the top of the hour. Got a link out there for his show as well. Uh, everybody be safe, have fun, take care of your crew and yourself, and rock!

We're out.