Mental Health Matters - The Phoenix edition

We are weirdly glitchy on this side of things. So I saw Gwebs put— post this up in the pre-chat. YouTube gave his channel a strike for sharing this out. Now that totally sucks. And there's part of me that's like, well, thanks for sharing. So it is Saturday night. And we'll get back to this, I think. So here's the deal. It's Saturday night. The name is now Mental Health Matters, because if you say the S-word, apparently you get a strike. Apparently you get a strike for sharing the S-word. And why are we here? Because when we hear about gun deaths, what is it? The number is roughly 30,000 a year. Plus or minus. And out of those 30,000 a year, 20,000, or 2 out of every 3 gun deaths— I can't do numbers tonight— 2 out of every 3 gun deaths are suicides. So why are we here talking mental health matters tonight? Because if we actually talk about mental health, if we talk about suicide prevention, which was in the name of the previous show, um, we can reach more people. I've been having a lot of conversations with my students this week, and I've actually been seeing more conversations about suicide and suicide prevention. And so yeah, I'm still bummed about you getting a strike for that, G Web, so that kind of sucks. But anyway, phoenix— y'all know what the phoenix is, or do you not know what the phoenix is? I do have my lovely co-host hiding in the background, watching your chats and that sort of thing. I am blocking it off so I can stay on target for at least 5 or 10 minutes. 'Cause y'all who have been here before, which most of you are returning customers, so I appreciate you and thank you for popping in. I can easily get distracted just like I got distracted by G Web's getting a strike due to the fact that, mm, shared the show and that totally stinks. But we are here to talk about mental health matters because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths— ha, there you go, now I can get my fingers to work with the numbers— are suicides. And if we talk about suicide, we can save not just the lives of those who die by firearm, but all the other ways. Now, bonus for this, for those who've not been here before, when we address mental health issues and we're talking about suicide, but mental health specifically, Guess what? We can also make a positive impact on violence prevention because a lot of violence is simply not having the emotional tool set that you need to get yourself out of a particular situation. So, um, one of the conversations I had with my students today actually in class was what is violence, and violence is often the, the challenge when we run out of ways to express ourselves. Because if you have ever been in one of those conversations that may turn into an argument, that may turn into that time where you want to throat punch someone— not that I'm advocating violence in any way, shape, or form, but there are these times when you're trying to communicate with someone and they're just not listening, and a throat punch seems like the option. That you really want. If you think about those times in my life, because I'm sure you are much calmer than I am, maybe, maybe not, but the fact you did not throw a punch at them means that you have tools within you that allow you to realize this is temporary, this too shall pass, and you don't actually resort to violence. There are many people in this world who do not have the tools and the skills to be able to do that. So as much as we talk about suicide prevention, mental health in general is what allows us to stay alive, not cause violence on ourselves or others. Because let's face it, suicide is probably the most violent thing one can do to oneself, as far as I know, because I am not the all-seeing or all-knowing God in any way, shape, or form. So let's talk about the phoenix. For those of you who are not aware, the phoenix is a mythological creature that every time it dies, it turns to ash, and then it rises again from the ash. So it constantly dies and is reborn. When I think of the phoenix being reborn and having to die in the first place, when we are dealing with specific problems in our life, sometimes that is so that we can grow. Now, most of us have heard, or many of us I'm sure have heard, the idea that God never gives us anything more than we can handle. And I'm relatively confident most of us, or at least I am, the sort of person's like, I really don't want God to have quite so much faith in me because as much as he's sure I can handle that, I'm not sure I want to handle that. So the problems in our life weigh us down. They can crush us. They can be debilitating in so many ways. And to me, each time we're getting crushed by something that's going on in our life, right? Deaths in the family, financial things, challenges with our children, our spouse, our family— all of those things are just like these giant weights that push us down. Eventually we get squashed like a bug. And our death is an emotional one where we give up. We're like, okay, I, I can't do this anymore, and this really sucks. And at that point in time, to me, that's like the phoenix dying, is like when there is nothing more to do, when there is nothing else that we can do to pick ourselves up, that is our death. Now, once we've reached that point, you and I are still here, which means that we were reborn from that death. In that now, we got to our lowest point. We didn't actually die. It felt really crummy, whatever the things were that we were struggling with, and we got to that low point. And then something switched and we were able to rise up from the rubble. I imagine like, you know, whenever someone gets crushed by a building and they just come back up. So, or you can do the phoenix analogy and just be on fire and be all fiery and poof, there you are. But each time we come back, we've learned something, we've gained something. We may not have enjoyed the journey because the journey usually kind of sucks,. But the reality of it is, as long as we keep going, we win. All right. So Mr. DJ, I've managed to stay on topic for a whole 7 minutes, kind of, sort of, almost wondering if you'd be so kind to come on in and say hi to everybody for me.

Uh-oh. I'd be happy to do that. And I'm going to try something new this week. Check this out. I mean, I know it isn't like all that fancy, but We would like to say hello this evening to Count Websites. G23 is also out there, so is Sorryifam93, Chasing Ghosts, Abigail Sorcha Finnegan is out there too, CMT Designs and Arms, Guy the Comments is out there, and Mark Thomas is most recently in the room. So what do you think about the new roll call?

Awesome, very cool, way easier than scrolling.

No doubt.

Welcome back, everybody. Well, I mean, this is the thing. We always learn new stuff. So learning new stuff is definitely cool. Sometimes it's hard though. All right. I'm not touching anything, so I will not— do you want me to push the button that puts me back up? I don't know. All right. You're okay. Just like— and if any of you are brand new this week, just so you know, I put my hands up like this because DJ is the man in charge here who puts things and pushes buttons and makes things pop up most of the time, except for the times when he doesn't and I do. And then often we will push the buttons at the same time. So that's why I put my hands up so he knows he can really do the thing that does the thing. So yeah, so the phoenix story, it's kind of fun, right? For those of us who are older, we've seen firebirds on— was it Trans Ams? I think Trans Ams had Firebirds. DJ, you know that one for sure since you and I are of similar age.

Yes, indeed, the Firebird on the hood, the Thunder Chicken some called it. And Jade 586 has just come into the room.

All right, very cool. Um, so, um, sorry, as much as I'm not— it's like the scrolling thing, I'm looking at different things. I will— I'm gonna change my screen again. All right, so the Thunder Chicken. Yeah, the Phoenix, a bird on fire. Yeah, that was another interesting conversation I had with my students today. We were talking about chickens, um, we were talking about hunting, and for those of you who don't live the country life, um, if you've never seen a chicken running around with its literal head cut off, I don't know if you can relate, but for real, they actually do that. And I've even seen headless chickens fly, so Speaking of thunder chickens, headless chickens fly also, in case you didn't already know that. Um, but anywho, lots of conversations around suicide, around mental health, around violence have occurred in my life this week. And one of the things someone had asked, what does suicide mean to you? And it was just a general post, it was not a post I put up. And one of the answers was, "It's not my fault." And this was from a mother who had lost their child to suicide. And I can't imagine how hard that has to be. One, we never like losing children. We feel as though it should never happen, but in reality it happens all the time. Two, survivor's guilt is a bitch. Pretty much the conversation that I generally have with other people around suicide when it occurs is, what could I have done? And that's the survivor's guilt, thinking that there was something you could have done to stop it. Now, 3, for her to get to the point where she understands it's really not her fault because she is not the one who killed the person who died. And this is something that's super hard. This is part of where our veterans come in and why they are so high on the numbers as far as how many of them commit suicide, because they have the survivor's guilt and they can't get over. They wish it was somebody else and not just them. And we've had this conversation before. However, um, what is suicide to you? What does it mean for me? My actual answer is it's selfishness. It's not being willing to fight. It's feeling very sorry for yourself and not truly understanding your worth. Because each of us have been told that we're special. Everyone here has been told that they've done a good job. They are a good person. They're doing something to bless someone's life. And when you're suicidal, and I'm pointing at myself, right, you don't believe any of it. It's all garbage. Life is better without me. All of those fun things. Last week or the week before, Abigail actually said people who commit suicide don't think that life is worth it, or something along those lines. And Abigail, feel free to correct me on that one, but it is It's different for everyone, obviously. I only have one point of view, which is mine, and also conversations I've had with other people, but it's still not everything. And nobody actually knows what suicide is to the person who's committing suicide. With that, we want to prevent that, so we want to get rid of our stinking thinking. We want to believe in ourselves for real. I think one of the hardest things for most of us is believing the nice things that people say about us. Like, since I know Mark is here, I can say, gee, Mark, you've got a beautiful beard. And I know everyone always talks about how great his holsters are and that sort of thing. But the idea is we all see the best in other people, and for so often it's very hard for us to see the best in ourselves. And the Bible says ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Right?

Or does it? I'm not sure. But back to the phoenix, in that you burn down, there's nothing left but ashes, and you rise, and you're this fire chicken. Sorry, that's just gonna go in here for the rest of the rest of this event. But no matter where we are, we are important, whether we're really, really strong, right? And we've got everything together and we can handle everything whether we're really weak, we busted down to the lowest we think we can get. One of the things that helped me during, uh, grade school when I was getting picked on was remembering these two things: someone out there always has it worse than you, no matter what situation you are in, and someone out there, in case you're getting too cocky, always has it better than you. So the idea is to find some balance. Between life and death, strength and weakness. And that's kind of what I have for you guys tonight. DJ and I before were talking a little bit about, uh, Einstein, and that Einstein believed matter does not get created or destroyed, it just changes the way that it is. So depending on where your belief system is, all of those fun things We can absolutely agree to disagree, or agree to agree, or disagree to disagree. I don't know, whatever your flavor for tonight is. But stuff is neither created nor destroyed. So when you die, everything that is here goes somewhere. DJ and I were also having that fun conversation of, did y'all know that— what, DJ, what did we decide? Was it 20%, 30%? Do you remember?

We'll call it 25.

25. All right, we'll go in the middle. 25% of the dust that's in your house are skin cells. So you're leaving yourself everywhere you go all the time. Um, but I don't know, I found that amusing. Oh, so, um, so yeah, sorry. So now I'm reading stuff. So, DJ, are there any comments I am supposed to pay attention to? Because I have not been paying attention to any of them.

Well, uh, Tara's out there. I'll bring this to your screen. She says, what if you're just tired, like your soul is tired? Do you ever think they're not hurting anymore, like when someone passes from a painful disease? I think it can be similar.

Yeah, I mean, in, in the, the idea of nothing is created or destroyed, it changes. My expectation, and I believe all of our belief— well, no, I can't talk for everybody. The most common thing I've heard though is especially when someone is exhausted and tired and dying of some horrendous disease, because goodness knows we have no shortage of those, that when they pass, they're finally better off. And is there grace in death? Absolutely. Are there times when Ending the suffering absolutely makes sense, without a doubt. However, you want to have that conversation with somebody and just don't go off and do it by yourself, is sort of my thought on that. And we get tired, we get exhausted, uh, we are always fighting. There's always something to fight for, there's always something to fight with. We were talking— I don't know, I was watching a show, I guess— we were talking about water and how that What shape are you? Well, if you're water, you're the shape of whatever thing you get put into and how that flexibility works. So when you're exhausted, you're tired, you're done, painful diseases, things that you can't change, uh, we talked about the prayer of the AA prayer, and I'm not an Alcoholics Anonymous, that was my mom's job and my stepmom's job. But that prayer, the Serenity Prayer— DJ, do you know it for real, by chance? It's like the short version being, let me change the things I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That's a good summary of it, yes.

Okay, because I'm like, I know there's more words to it than that, but I just don't know them off the top of my head. And so, you know, there are times when, yeah, it's time to let somebody go. But all right, with all of that, I'm around— sorry, C&T. All right, Coop, you're round, and round is a shape. There is that. I know when people say I'm gonna get in shape, I'm like, my shape is already round. And, um, then there— Mr. Jamie joined us. Yay, Jamie! Um, nice to see you, sir. All right, Mr. DJ, go ahead. Are you—

is there anything else we should talk, um, although, well, there's, you know, quite a bit going into the phoenix analogy, and in pre-show I was struck by that, um, in the following way. You know, each time we've all been through what must have been an incredible struggle for us, right? Well, it made us stronger, and hopefully lessons learned along with some of the trials of life make you that phoenix who goes higher each time kind of thing. There are always going to be vestiges of the former self, and getting away from mistakes that were made in the past can be one of the most difficult parts of those journeys. But imagine the heights that, you know, you could reach comparatively when you are in such a down spot. So however it is that you find the motivation, however it is that you feel that you can best communicate those things, make sure you reach out. You know, it's at the bottom of the screen. It's almost everywhere I go. Somebody cares. Just reach out, you know, 988 will hit it. And I'm glad to have all the people here today. Next Saturday, bring a friend. There's a bunch of you, but I'd like to see a whole bunch bunch more. So I'm gonna— I, you know, I haven't come up with a secondary, uh, list. I brought up that list earlier when I was giving a roll call, and I was just like, hey, you know, this is like a cool new thing. And I'm just like, hey, you didn't remember to do that with the other people who came in. So that— so I'm gonna start with the extra special.

Jamie gave us the, the actual thing: God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. So that is the official official one. And that's— and I like the last part of this, right? Accepting hardships as pathways to peace. Life is not a destination, it's a journey. And if we wait till everything is good, then we're not enjoying, we're not going to enjoy, but we have to, I don't know, we gotta do what we can knowing that the hard stuff is the way we get to the fun stuff, kind of like working out, which I've done every day this week almost. So good on you, that's awesome. Awesome, thank you so much.

I've got to be part of your smile. Let's see what else, uh, I think we can't— we caught all the comments then. Thanks Jamie for that. Um, so that also gave me time, um, to type something in that I haven't pressed send on yet on my other handset, so it's going to be coming down the pipe, and that is tonight. We were joined by Mark Thomas, JH586. Vanessa Kitty was the last but certainly not the least one in the room. And earlier on in the evening, we were, uh, whoa, that's not the one that I was looking for.

Check out— it wasn't me this time, I didn't do it.

You know, it's one of the vagaries of a live show, right? It just sort of happens once in a while that you can't get the exact one that you want. This is the one that I would like to put on the screen though. So here it is. Tonight also joining us, we're on websites G23, Sariafan93, Chasing Ghosts, Abigail Sorcha Finnegan, C&T Designs and Arms, and Guy That Comments. So hey, like I said, bring that friend next week. Share the program out now. Make sure you hit a thumbs up, and you only have to linger for a moment to also leave a comment. Every little bit helps. Thanks for being here tonight. Uh, till we see everybody else. Again, please be safe, have fun, take care of yourself and your crew, and rock! We're out.