Mental Health Matters - What can you do?
In this episode of the Mental Health Matters series, the host (Brooke Cheney) opens with a reminder that suicide accounts for two‑thirds of gun‑related deaths, emphasizing the need to normalize mental‑health conversations. She then shifts to a personal narrative: preparing for upcoming knee surgery over the next six weeks. She outlines how she re‑prioritizes her life—focusing on weight‑lifting, protein‑rich nutrition, and physical‑therapy sessions—while still juggling work, family, household chores, and a busy social calendar. She describes her time‑blocking method, allocating three‑hour blocks for gym visits and accounting for travel, showering, and recovery, which quickly consumes five hours of her day. The host reflects on the feeling of overwhelm, the pressure of endless to‑do lists, and how adrenaline‑driven “human‑doing” can create hyper‑focus during crises but is unsustainable for daily life. She shares personal stressors from the past year—injury, pet loss, family events—and uses these stories to illustrate the cyclical nature of high and low points. Throughout, she offers practical mental‑health strategies: prioritizing tasks, delegating when possible, practicing self‑compassion (e.g., the “high‑five habit”), and recognizing that the list of responsibilities never truly ends. The episode concludes with a curated list of resources that have influenced her—Mel Robbins, Tony Robbins, Ed Mylett, Andrew Huberman, and Gary Brecka—along with a call to viewers to share the content and support one another.
Chapters
Alright, hey everybody, welcome to Mental Health Matters. And there's always gonna be a pause, not always, but probably for a bit because, you know, many years of doing Suicide Prevention Saturday, Mental Health Matters is a slight change. I still have that MMM and the SSS, but alright, sorry for the Blair Witchness. I am doing this on my laptop, which is not on anything other than my leg. And every time I laugh or move, well, you know, you're going to get a little bit of a jiggliness. So, um, let's talk about what you can do. So I have knee surgery coming up, and I am trying to plan the next 6 weeks prior to knee surgery, trying to get as much stuff done as I can. Now, the reality of that is I still have to work. I I still have to take care of my family. I still have to do all the stuff I normally do. And I had some time set off because I didn't have my knee surgery date for a while. And I was kind of holding my breath, kind of in limbo. Oh wait, before I go into that, hi, yeah, welcome to Mental Health Matters. Why are we here? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are suicides. And if 2/3 of the problem, over 60% of the problem our suicides by talking about mental health. This is how we normalize it, help people talk about it. Nobody agrees on what mental health is, but at least we can start having conversations. So the what can you do conversation we're about to have is about our mental health. And for me, I just share stuff with you guys that has affected me in different ways. And I'm hoping that my stories will help you because long ago and far away when I was a teenager, I was in group therapy and sitting in a room listening to other people's problems really can help you for multiple reasons. One, you can find out that wow, your life is not as bad as you thought it was, and two, I think, but the more important one of that is you are not alone. Everybody struggles. No one's got it easy. No one's got an easy pass for life. There is nothing simple and, you know, there isn't somebody who just has it all. It's one of those things that because we are so into social media, there is just lies and just, it's not true. You see everybody's trips or you see their yummy meal or whatever. You don't get to see the rest of their life. And you know all of the stuff in your life that has sucked, and you also know all the stuff that's in your life that is amazing. And sadly, in our lives these days, we tend not to talk about all the amazing stuff because we feel like we're being a braggart, or we're like, oh well, look how lucky I am. And it's just like, no, we need to enjoy all the good stuff. So The thing I'm about to explain is none of us get it all done. There is no end to the to-do list. There is no downtime in life. We are always doing something. And one of the things from Tony Robbins is we are human beings, not human doings. And that sounds great, but it's really hard to actually apply. So my thing today was I'm getting ready for surgery. I've got 6 weeks to get my life in order. My number one goal has shifted because I need to build as much muscle in my leg as I possibly can in the next 6 weeks. So what does that mean? That means weightlifting. That means protein, lots of protein in my diet so that my muscles can build. Because if there's only water in my body and there's no protein, my body can't build the muscles that it needs to. And so for the next 6 weeks, my priorities changed to working out as many days a week as I can, good clean eating as far as get that protein in there. For those of you who want to go down a nutrition conversation, we can do that one on another Saturday night perhaps. A short version is your body needs all of the building blocks to build the things that you need it to build, and then it also needs all the building blocks to get rid of all the leftovers of the stuff that you didn't use. Because with building stuff, there's always trash, and you need to make sure that your intake of clean foods, proteins, veggies, all of that um, and whole foods. Let's not go down the craziness of, oh, everything needs to be organic or any of that, but whole foods. The closer it is to the ground or where it came from, the better it is for you. So because of that, if I'm going to work on working out every day, that's at least an hour, maybe two. Not because I'm working out for an hour or two, but because it takes time to get to the gym, takes time to get back from the gym, got to take a shower, all those fun things. Now, when you take a shower, you do that any day, most days anyway. And so it's like, all right, I can do all this stuff. And so I start putting in my calendar, and I block off that 2 hours for, you know, gym time, because it's going in, to and from. I do not like spending more than an hour at the gym. I find that that's just a waste of time. I want to be— get in, lift heavy, and get out. When I'm doing cardio, going to take longer So I've blocked off not one, not two, but 3 hours in my morning so that if I get up late, I can still make the gym. If, uh, I don't know, I'm working out with my mom on a regular basis, if she needs help, I can go slower to help her out, stuff like that. But that incorporates all of that time, and poof, just like that, 3 hours are off my calendar for, in my brain, one event, right? Working out. Now I've got students, like I need to put my students' time in, and I'm looking at maybe changing some of that. And then on top of that, I'm going to physical therapy 3 times a week because the physical therapist will definitely get better about, um, what is it called, being super focused on just those knee muscles. So it might be something that I miss in the gym or also just the treatments of the ice and the heat and the stim and all that sort of stuff. So that's 3 times a week, and that's basically 2 hours again going there, coming back. So now just trying to focus on the first 2 things, I have taken 5 hours out of my day. Now most of us have 8-hour work weeks or 8-hour work days, so I'm close to a full workday gone out of my schedule already, and I'm like, huh, I thought this was going to be easier because I had the time cleared out so that I could just put whatever I needed in for surgery. And it's hard. And I'm like, okay, well, I've only got two things taken care of— my workouts and my physical therapy, three days a week. That's almost 5 hours already gone out of my schedule. Now, to be fair, I'm not going to need 3 hours for the gym every single day or anything like that, but I'm trying to set my schedule up so that it doesn't overwhelm me and so I don't freak out if I wake up 15 minutes late or something along those lines. But also so I can do something like, well, maybe this day it's going to be 45 minutes and we're taking the dog for a walk, and maybe it's going to be weight workout and that So all of that being said, so 3 days a week, 5 hours out of my schedule already. And so I am freaking out because, okay, that's 2 things, 2 stinking things. Now I'm gonna move the camera this way so I have to stop going like this. I can just put this up normally. Um, then I'm like, okay, awesome. What about housework? What about laundry? When am I going to get that in? Dishes, cleaning the house— when is that going to happen? Um, shopping, meal prepping— holy heck, one can only eat so many cans of tuna when trying to get protein in. And no, it's not the only way I get protein in, but it's just like the overwhelm of, holy crap, this is a lot. And this is just the basics. This is not my work week. This is not running my business. This is not getting videos put together. This is not creating content. This is not spending time with my family and dinner and dancing and all of that sort of stuff, because we actually do have dance lessons on Monday nights and Thursdays. Um, but it's just like, I think the reason I want to share this with you guys is because overwhelm happens to everybody. We look at other people and we're like, wow, you got all this stuff done. But we don't know their undone task list. We don't know the things that they're not doing. I literally just went down in the office and like had a meltdown in my office because I'm like, tomorrow is my kids— well, actually, yeah, when you guys are watching this, today will be the graduation party that I was getting ready for today. And, um, it's one of those things where I'm like, all right, I gotta make the list. There's all these things that have to get picked up. There's stuff that needs to get done. I have to make sure I communicate well to the people who are doing the stuff for me to get the things done, and my poor little brain's ready to explode. The amount of anxiety and stress that I am experiencing, not feeling like I have any concept of how to actually accomplish things. And for those you've been watching for a while, or those of you who are my actual friends who know how much crap goes on on a regular basis, It's like I do get a lot of stuff done, but there's always stuff that doesn't get done because the other stuff is getting done. And I look at it like a Herculean effort, right? So once Marty died, was killed by the bear, we didn't know he was dead yet, right? Because he was still breathing, he was still with us, and, um But the adrenaline dump of— Smart's been attacked by a bear, and now it's a matter of getting him to the hospital to get fixed. And that was an adrenaline dump. And so we go, we get him to the hospital, no fixing him, but the adrenaline is still going, the emotions definitely still going. And I was able to stay calm and quiet and mostly put together through that Friday. So our bodies and our brains are capable of segmenting stuff so you can get your stuff done, right? So it's just like, okay, there's an emergency, that's the biggest thing. This is why your adrenaline shuts down so much of the rest of your body while, you know, giving you the fight or flight or freeze thing. And so you're super hyper-focused and you get the thing done that you need to get done. And then the next day, oh my gosh, Saturday, I don't know if I've just never had an adrenaline dump like that before. I was a mess. Like, I couldn't move off this couch. It was ridiculous, like, how exhausted I was. And so when we tell ourselves we can do something, it is true because we got through that trauma, we got through that event, and laser-focused. I wasn't tired. There was nothing going on other than the one thing of getting the dog to the vet and then telling the kids and then picking the kids up from school and all of those things. Just go, go, go, go, go, get those things done. But then the aftermath of the next day of being totally exhausted, not being able to move, I mean just like, wow, um, doing the laser focus stuff is awesome when it's not an adrenaline dump. So just because we can doesn't mean we should, and just because we can that day doesn't mean that we can every single day. And I find that for myself, and I don't know if you guys are the same, feel free to leave that in the comments wherever they are, because I don't know how backwards this is going to be when this goes back up. Um, it's like there are days when I rock it. I'm like, I go to my office, I get my stuff done, my lists are obliterated, I feel totally in control, I've got my stuff done, and I'm like, I want every day to be like this. And the next day, maybe it's not as cool, maybe it's not as good. But I get something done, but not as much as I got done that other day. And I feel like— I'm guessing we all have those kind of days where it's like there are some days you are untouchable, you get all the stuff done, whatever the stuff is. But here's the sad reality that I think we forget to tell ourselves is the stuff is never done. We accomplish things and then get up tomorrow and we have to accomplish things all over again. And I know in my life with all the craziness that has occurred as of late, this year has been a year. This has been like every month there's been something crazy, and it's just like January got taken out for like a week for shingles. February I think was good other than we had crazy ice storms, which then I blew my knee out. So then March was recovery with the knee, and then April was go to Japan. And May, I don't even know. My son turned 19, but other than that, I think May was a blur. And now we're almost done with June right now, and the dog got killed a couple weeks ago in June. And so it's just been one thing after another after another, and it's just like life is always going to ebb and flow, right? There's those high points where everything is awesome, there's low points where everyone's dying, you're going to funerals every other month it feels like, or every other week. Depending on the size of your family. Then there's, you know, the weddings and the baby showers and then graduations and all those things. Um, so in the last 15 minutes, my main goal is basically this: the list is never done. No one has their entire list done. The more you accomplish, the more your brain tricks you into thinking you can accomplish more. And can you? Yes. Does it make sense for you? Sometimes. And one of my biggest challenges is I always want to do more. I want to reach more people, right? Like DJ, every week he's like, encourage someone, bring a friend, share this out with somebody. Um, I was at the gym yesterday, day before yesterday, and guy comes up like, oh yeah, I'm watching your lives, good job. And, and I'm like, awesome. Because that's not a guy who comments. Not to be confused with the guy that comments. But, um, it's one of those things where reaching one more person, helping one more person, uh, teaching one more person gun safety, uh, letting people know guns are not the main reason for violence in any shape of America whatsoever. Is there violence out there? Absolutely. But when 60% of the gun deaths out there are suicide, then that the gun is not the problem, the mental health is. And when we find the things that we need to do versus things that we think we should do, it's a big relief to ourselves. And it's hard to come to that happy equilibrium. I mean, I always come back to Tara's Tara Smith's Kitchen, because you go to Tara Smith's Kitchen and you look at her do all her cooking, and every time— like I said, my main goals right now are exercise, food, and physical therapy. That's it. And I'm like, I look at Tara Smith's Kitchen and I look at her videos, I'm like, that's a lot of awesome cooking right there. I wish I could be more like her and just do the things of putting the stuff together. And so instead of focusing on all the stuff that got done, I focus on, um, I am not as good as Tara because I don't dice as well, or whatever the heck it is. You all have your own things. I am confident you'll see somebody on Facebook be like, oh my gosh, look at what they did, or you'll see someone on YouTube or wherever you're watching this, LinkedIn, and like, wow, they've really got their stuff together. And then you look under the— behind the curtains. For those of you who haven't seen The Wizard of Oz, I don't know what uncultured swine you happen to be, but, um, looking behind the curtains, The Wizard of Oz is the best example because there's this great wizard who accomplishes all of this stuff and offers blessings and is magical and all of that, when no, it's just a little old dude that's got some buttons that he can push and steam and light shows occur. In most of our lives are just that. We are all pushing our buttons, letting our steam shows and our light shows go off, and doing the best we can. So with that, we're getting to the end of our first half hour. Well, it's 20 minutes, but you know me, definitely not going over 30 minutes. So realize and remember, the list is never done. Prioritize. Figure out what your priorities actually are. My priorities are not changing from working out, physical therapy, and eating clean for the next 6 weeks. So my goal is to physically get into the best shape I've been in probably in 19 years because I got overweight when I got pregnant with my kid, and Stay focused on those things because is there more to do? Yes, always. Can you leverage things like getting laundry done? The answer is yes if you have kids, theoretically. But for those of those parents out there that are like me, it's like there is a thing to just getting the laundry done yourself versus arguing with and nagging and bugging the children to get their laundry done. So, you know, that exchange of energy, pay attention to it. It's like, is the outcome worth the effort? Because for me to go downstairs and put some laundry in and fold some laundry and then put it away sometimes feels like much less energy than asking the kids to go do it, asking the kids if they've done it, asking them to please put the laundry away. The amount of effort that goes into that, sometimes it's just not worth it. So with that, I'll try to do my best DJ since the DJ is not here right now. Um, well, he is. He's going to be in the chat. I have faith. So invite friends, like the program, share it out to whoever you think needs to hear anything like this. And because I forgot to put our little ticker down here, hold on, I will I will do it now. I think I will do it now, right? Okay, um, gonna try to put some more of the resources that I have into the description. So number 1, Mel Robbins, The 5-Minute Habit— or sorry, so she's done a couple different things if you look up Mel Robbins, but The High Five Habit is what I meant. There is another thing Um, there's another book she came up with before The High Five Habit, and her current book is Let Them. And that kind of goes along with the mental health side of things, of if you're worried about what somebody else is think— what if someone else thinks about you, let them think whatever they need to think. You're not in control of other people's brains. So there's one resource that I would offer because The High Five Habit is giving yourself a high five every morning in the mirror. It's that simple. There's a whole book on it, explains more about why and how you do that. Uh, one of the hardest things I've ever done— waking up in the morning, look at myself, say, I love you, and you got this, and giving yourself a high five. And Tony Robbins— I don't even know what resource I'd possibly give to you. I have spent tons of time with Tony Robbins, uh, as a participant and behind the scenes working with him. And so there's lots, but a little excerpt that I have in my head a lot lately is one of the things Tony says is stop shitting all over yourself, right? We say, I should get this done, I should be able to handle this, I should take care of this, and he's like, stop shitting all over yourself. And it's just very true. So Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, and no, they're not related, they're not in the same family, but they do have influence in my life. Uh, Ed Mylett, he's got a lot of really cool podcasts. Um, since we're going to talk about health, uh, Andrew Huberman and the Huberman Lab podcast, also very awesome, talks about tons of stuff. Like, when I— oh, so in the health journey of the next 6 weeks, sleep is super important. So go look at the Huberman Lab sleep studies. Um, he's got a couple different podcasts on sleep depending on— he's got— he's good, he's got some short ones and then he's got the long ones. So GT3 should love that, super long. Um, who else am I looking at? Gary Brecka right now is another guy I'm listening to. Again, back to the health stuff, talking about hydrogen and detoxing and all of those things. And I think that's enough for now. So Mel Robbins for high-five habit or let them, and Tony Robbins to stop shitting all over yourself. But I think I will pop in the, um, primer thing that he has available to everybody for free, uh, Huberman Labs and Gary Brecka. And I'll drop those 4 down in the well, wherever the description for this thing shows up on whatever platform you're watching it on. And with that, I think I shall let you all go. And, uh, chances are— I'm sure I said this in the beginning, but I was probably over here in the chat while you guys were here, because by 9 o'clock I'm pretty sure the party will be over. I could be wrong, but maybe. And/or I'll be sitting out by a, a bonfire, and I'll pop on real fast after this in the live so you can see the bonfire if that happens. I don't know, it might rain tomorrow. Who knows? Anyway, I will talk to you all next week. Thank you for popping in, saying hi, chatting with each other in the side chat, and encouraging me every week that y'all show up. So have a good day, night, evening, whenever the heck you do this.
