Special Guest Mario Mosin - Suicide Prevention Saturday!!! Aiming for Zero Weekend.
In this live‑stream segment, host Brooke Cheney (Speaker A) interviews U.S. Army veteran Mario Mosin about veteran suicide, PTSD, and the transition to civilian life. Mario shares his 22‑year service background, deployments, and how sensory triggers (smells, noise, hyper‑vigilance) exacerbate his PTSD. He discusses the impact of suicide on families, the importance of early intervention, and resources such as Vet Centers, the Aiming for Zero charity, and his own YouTube channel that offers coping strategies. The conversation emphasizes community support, fundraising through raffles and a charity shooting competition, and the role of live‑stream events in raising awareness. Closing remarks outline logistical details—upcoming memorial service, posting of resource links, voting for a second live‑stream, and plans for future short‑format episodes—while encouraging viewers to share takeaways and stay engaged.
Chapters
Ta-da! Hello everybody, it is Saturday night. I almost said Friday night, um, but it's Friday— it's Saturday night for real. Wow. Okay, so tonight's special guest Mario Mosin ended up having a scheduling conflict for this evening, so instead of him joining me here tonight, we pre-recorded an interview on Wednesday. And so tonight, instead of it being live and in person, um, we're gonna— I'm gonna play the recording for you guys. So it is still Sous Chef Wednesdays Saturday. We are still talking about— with Mario Mosen. Um, I'm just going to be over here in the chat, uh, answering any questions that you have versus when I actually usually respond to you guys. So that's kind of how tonight is going to go. I figured I want to pop on here a little bit early to explain this all to you guys, and then my plan is right at 9, go ahead, click the video that I have all queued up for you guys, and hopefully that will work really, really well. So with that being said, um, that was my big announcement. That's— I'm like, oh, I'll go a couple minutes early., and now I've got 5 minutes to kill. So what do you want to talk about before we get started? Um, let's see. Oh yeah, so I've got my Aiming for Zero shirt on. Uh, I know it says SIG, but this one is from a couple years ago where we did have our Aiming for Zero at SIG. Um, and tonight though, I am in Dunbarton, New Hampshire, or close to that, and that is where we're actually having our match tomorrow, which is the whole reason this is early, is so yours truly can get some sleep before having to be at the range for 6:30 AM tomorrow morning. So much fun. Um, so yeah, so it's super exciting to see you all. Uh, isn't there an event coming? What do you mean? Oh wait, did you win the match already? Are you waiting to tomorrow? Oh yeah, so, huh, so I'm not practicing enough to win anything right now. I'm just gonna shoot the match. I have some— there is some hope in the way that they actually score this match. Is they do it in thirds. So you've got your division, like my husband's shooting revolver, I'm shooting semi-automatic production, and, uh, they just take whatever everyone's score is and they do the top 3— the top third, the middle third, and the bottom third. So with any luck, maybe I'll be at the top of the bottom third, but I'm not really sure. So yeah, so I will be shooting tomorrow. Um, this, like I said, this is one of my shirts, um, my Aiming for Zero shirts. Like, pull it all up. There you go. I will hide for you so you can see my Aiming for Zero shirts. Um, so that is, um, that's tomorrow. I'm shooting 250-round count, uh, minimum, because, you know, that's assuming you don't have any makeup shots or you don't make— have any misses. So Um, I expect to be shooting at least around 300 rounds tomorrow. My husband doesn't think I'm going to miss that much, but there's going to be steel, there's going to be paper, uh, there's going to be lots of different things. Uh, hi Ghost Tactical, hi PN Woods. Oh yeah, I suppose so. Let's see, do the roll call thing. So hi DJ, hey G Webs. I just was answering his question that we're shooting tomorrow, not now. And then we've got Ghost and PNW Woods. Apparently I was told the P— when I called you PN Woods, it wasn't proper. I have to do the PNW. So there you have it. Um, uh, yeah, so I did do my dry fire style installments preseason and I didn't practice every day. No, no, I did not. I know. It's like, so, ah, yes, let's go with this part. So Aiming for Zero is a— reduce veteran suicide and assist military families by targeting veterans with competitive shooting community. So, um, so actually sort of, uh, in that Aiming for Zero raises money through these competitions. It's one of the ways. If any of y'all have ever heard of CrossFit, um, and, uh, that sort of stuff. They have like rucksack charity events. They even have gamer events where you can do, um, a charity event, you know, playing video games and all of that. Oh, so it's because it's Pacific Northwest. Well then, PN, because, you know, Northwest is a compound word. I don't have to say the W. At least that's how I'm gonna go with it. But anyway, I am not about perfection, I'm about progress. Um, apparently I will just call you Bacon from now on. All right, so anyway, thank you. Yes, Ghost Tactical, I do believe it is an awesome— an awesome cause. Wow, I can— all right, so whenever I see the cute little puppy, I will just say Bacon instead of PN Woods. Or maybe I'll remember, maybe I won't. All right folks, it is just about 8 PM. Wow, I know what time of day it is. So for those who just jumped on, um, Mario couldn't make it tonight, so— oh yeah, TJ's gonna make me do this. Yes, an American— the American Society for Suicide Prevention. Ta-da! All right, I'm going to— oh, you're just, just— all right, one more thing. Um, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna pop up the video I did with Mario. I will be here commenting in the chat wherever you're chatting, and that's what I got for you guys. I will warn you now, I already know how long this is going to be. It's over an hour, so we should probably get started. Everyone's like, oh, you're gonna edit that out? I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not gonna go that far. So, all right, so this is gonna be my first ever pre-recorded Saturday Suicide Prevention Saturday. Um, so I'm gonna just do my normal opening. So hi everyone, it's Saturday night, which means it's Suicide Prevention Saturday, and ads gone All right, folks, so I, uh, I just realized something real quick here. I kind of goofed and I need to add this to my Facebook side because when I put this up original, I did not add it to my Facebook side. So folks over there are going to be wondering where the heck I am. So I appreciate for all YouTube folk, YouTube folks, uh, holding on while I change this over. Okay, all right, well, thank you, PNW. All right, here we go. I'm gonna try that one more time. I appreciate y'all for sticking with me and my glitchiness. Alrighty then, here we go for real. Owners, we do this because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths the media is telling you about that's gun violence is actually suicides. So if we want to save lives, we need to talk about suicide. So today I have Mario Mosin. Originally he was going to be with us live and in person on Saturday, but he's got other things to do and that's okay because we still got him for right now. So hi Mario, thanks for coming on tonight.
No problem. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
Like I said just before we started, I'm like, I was saying, I'm like, I know some folks are going to be sad they don't get to see you live and in person, but how about this? Promise me, like, over the next couple days you'll come back and, like, check in on some of the comments if people ask you specific questions.
Absolutely. And, um, um, I'm hope— you know, I hope a lot of guys, um, uh, there, there are certain people that have my contact information, um, and if they really need to get a hold of me, obviously they can, uh, reach out through their channels to get a hold of me.
So, all right, and, and we will have down below both in YouTube and— well, so down below in YouTube, up above in, uh, in Facebook, um, I'll put your YouTube channel. Uh, what else you have? What do you— what else you got going on for social media in your life these days?
Um, I have Instagram and I have Facebook, so.
Okay, all right, so whenever it's watching this, it's going to be Saturday. The night before I go to my Aiming for Zero match. And so let me grab that real quick, talk about that super fast. So for folks that don't know, Aiming for Zero is a veteran suicide shooting competition where we're raising money to help Active Heroes. And Active Heroes is sort of like the parent company. Who does all sorts of stuff for veterans. They have a retreat center. They have lots of different events. This is— Aiming for Zero is obviously one of them. And I am having this— I'm having Mario on because Mario is a veteran and we're going to learn a little bit more about Mario as we go. But veteran suicide is super important. To talk about. Um, suicide in general is super important to talk about. Our teens right now, our preteens, are committing suicide. We need to talk about this. But Mario's here, and Mario, I'm gonna let you give your own little bio, but I just want to let people know I found Mario because on his YouTube channel, which is going to be linked here, um, he talks about PTSD. C. He talks about veteran suicide. He's got a really good, um, video on there kind of talking about how, um, veterans leave the military and how come they're lost and that sort of stuff. So I'll try to get that link too because I don't know it off the top of my head. But Mario, I'll shut up now. Say something.
Okay, well, uh, thank you for having me, and, um, For all you guys that don't know me, my name is Mario. I retired in December 2020 from the United States Army after 22 years. Through my military career, got to do a lot of, a lot of cool stuff. Started as actually an M1 tanker. I was in an M1 tank for about 10 years. And really enjoyed that, but then the Army kind of started downsizing the tank force and decided to go into the infantry. And I think it was the best move for me because I got to do a lot of things that I've always wanted to do. So You know, been to Iraq plenty of times, 3 times. I was there, we actually relieved the invasion force, which was the 82nd Airborne, and we took over their area of operations. And that was, that was a really long deployment. I ended up doing 18 months. Due to the surge. I don't know if you guys know anything about history, but during this time we were kind of starting to lose the war and the president decided to keep units that were getting ready to deploy back an extra 90 days. So Needless to say, a lot of us were upset about that, you know, because we all wanted to come home. So I, you know, I have a lot of experiences. Most of my experiences were in combat world, in the infantry world. So, you know, I started as a team leader and, you know, I worked my way to becoming a platoon sergeant by the time I was doing my third deployment. And, um, towards the end of my career, I was the acting first sergeant for my unit. So, um, it was a really good experience, you know, something that, um, I would definitely take with me to the grave. I got to do a lot of cool stuff.
And Mario, I suck at math. When did you leave? What year? How long you been out?
Uh, so I've been out since, uh, close to 2 years now. Yeah, about, uh, 18 months or so. Um, and, um, I, I'll talk a little bit more about the transition period and how that's, uh, that's affecting. But I just wanted to give you guys a quick brief of, of my experience. And, you know, if I can help somebody, I'd definitely love to do that.
It was funny as you're telling me this because like I didn't know, I didn't know the story yet, and I was just like, my nephew is a tanker in the Army as well.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and I, I see over the sand, so it's like things— we've actually got a really cool picture of him from Fort Bragg, I think, um, with, you know, the fireball in front of the tank kind of thing.
Oh yeah, that's sitting in our ammo room. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. No, there's, uh, it was fun. M1s are amazing, amazing vehicles, and they do a lot of cool stuff. Um, um, actually kind of, uh, actually we got to do a lot of stuff that we shouldn't be doing on an M1, but it was, it was interesting. Um, I was kind of going through the whole period where they were transitioning the M1 And they were making it into the M182 SEP, which is like a more computerized version and better fire coordinating procedures. And it just had better sights. It had everything so much better. So it's like going from a Sig to, you know, going one with the red optic, you know, it's just everybody just— it's, it's 10 times better. It makes you more efficient.
So yeah, very cool. Um, when did you start your YouTube channel?
Uh, I started my YouTube channel back in like 2009, and I didn't do anything with it for like a couple years, you know. I just I just started watching videos, you know, because I really started getting myself more involved and wanted to learn more about, you know, uh, some of the, uh, civilian weapons at that time because I was still in the military and, you know, I only knew what I, what I, what I knew, you know. So eventually I started getting into it and I started noticing that there wasn't a lot of videos that pertained prepping and pertain to, um, you know, uh, being, uh, self-sufficient in case of an emergency. And I just started making those kind of videos at first, and then little by little I started kind of, uh, you know, making friends through, through YouTube. Uh, and it's been a very awesome experience because I've got to meet people like yourself and, you know, which we would never— probably never met if it wasn't for this platform.
So absolutely, for sure. I met you through G23, and I met G23 through gun websites and barbecue. And so, yeah, it is, um, it is a cool way to meet folks and to connect with people. Like you said, because you're in California, I'm in Connecticut, you know, we're a little— there's, you know, there's a little bit different. Yeah. Uh, similar gun laws though, but other than that, yeah. No, um, but yeah, actually I just talked to someone today who was saying how they moved to, uh, Connecticut and had to sell all of their guns that they had in California. And I'm like, that seems so wrong. I can't believe our Connecticut gun laws are worse than what you guys have in California.
Yeah. And, and You know what's really— but you know, it's just like anything else. We, we, uh, we have, uh, politicians that are not very good at understanding how guns work. Well, they don't, they don't really understand the, the intricacies of a gun. So, you know, there's ways around it.
So I could say absolutely. Well, and I mean, and here's the other part of it The whole reason that the Suicide Prevention Saturday is my thing is because if over 60% of the gun deaths are talking about when they're talking about gun violence are suicides, I'm like, we don't have a gun problem. We have a mental health crisis in America. Absolutely. And so the 22 veterans a day, which I think they're saying it's down to 20 21. Obviously, one is too many. That's actually what— let's see, hold on. This is one of the giveaways I did just before I got on here with you. But where is it? It says, you know, one veteran suicide is too many, right? Yeah. So, but it's just like I said, I know I've got kids, I've got teens and the preteen and teenagers that are doing suicide right now. So anyway, Um, sorry, I didn't mean to go way off on a tangent, but yeah, the gun laws are not about preventing suicide. And we're talking about suicide because, um, you know, you've dealt with PTSD, you're dealing with PTSD. I'm guessing it's not sort of the thing that ever goes away, you just get better at dealing with it.
No, you deal with it for the rest of your life, and, um, there are certain things that trigger you You know, could be smells, could be, uh, sounds. It could be, uh, just a myriad of things that could really trigger you. Like, for me, it's, um, it's, uh, noise and smells. Like, um, it's kind of hard to really explain this to you, but after you've been through a lot of firefights or whatever, you know, you, you, your, your sense of, of your senses seem to become more extreme or more sensitive. And one of mine is, is a sense of smell. So my sense of smell is super, super crazy, you know.
I had that when I was pregnant. Not quite the same thing, but I had that one. It was just like, why do I smell everything?
Yeah, and that's one of the things that, that affected me. I remember I was not like that, but now I'm like a freaking bloodhound and I could smell anything. And yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah.
Um, do you have kids? Yes, I have 3 daughters. Um, they're all pretty much grown up. I still have 2 that are home, but, uh, one's already graduated from college and The other one is, uh, junior Cal State Bakersfield, so she's almost done too. So yeah, they're almost— they're close to leaving the nest, so I can— I can have a man cave finally.
Good luck with that. Yeah, that— where I am right now, my office was my husband's man cave until I came and took it over. Oh, okay. So, but all right, so PTSD, being a veteran, going from, you know, having your band of brothers to back to civilian life. That was the video I was talking about before. You kind of touched on that. I don't want to go through everything that you talked on that because I want people to go watch that video because I think you did a great job of breaking it down. But like the short version, if I was going to Reader's Digest it for everyone, was that when you're in the military, you have this band of brothers, you have this cohesive group that you've got their back, they've got your back, and then you split apart and you come out and you're thrown on the street. I mean, America is not just the street, but it's just like you've lost your— you've lost the cohesiveness of that group that you spent so much time in the training and all those years. So could you kind of like talk about some of that for us?
Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, when they talk about the band of brothers and you talk about, you know, really, you know, having our six, I mean, we really do. We, we have to. I mean, and, and it gets to a point that you know, you know them and they know you. They know the kind of moves you're going to make when you're in a firefight. They know, they, everybody kind of knows how, how everybody works. And it's, it's kind of hard to put it in words, but we just, we know what we need to do, you know. As soon as, uh, you know, rounds go down or, or they come at us, you know, like, we, we react right away. Everybody knows their their role, everybody understands what they need to do. And the reason why we do that and we train like that is so that we can survive it. That's exactly what we want to do, we want to survive it. We want to make sure that we maintain, you know, communication, we maintain, you know, cohesiveness, and we drive on and finish the mission. And it's kind of like, it's kind of like really put into you from the get-go, you know, this whole thing of attention to detail. They tell you that from the first time you get out of the bus and go into your reception center. They really drill to have kind of like an autonomous type of, you know, uh, uh, reaction to, to certain things, you know. And, um, when it gets to that point where everybody knows each other, you just, you feel closer to those people. And I'll be honest with you, there are some people that I can stand before the deployment and afterwards we were like brothers, man. Like, uh, we, we understand each other, you know. I respect them. They respected me, um, and we would do anything for each other, you know. And, and that's, that's the, that's the part that I missed the most.
Yeah. And I mean, what one of the things you said though too is like, finish the mission. And when I've talked to other veterans about this horrible issue of veteran suicide is that because you guys are trained so hard to finish the mission. This is why so many veterans are good at committing suicide, because they've been trained to finish the mission and they're gonna do it, and it doesn't end well, um, because you guys have all that training and all that, okay, I need to finish this.
That is, that is part of it. I mean, the other part of it is, uh, You have a sense of worth when you're in the military, when you're in a unit, you know, you know, you know what you're, you're valued as a, as an individual, as a soldier, as a part of a platoon or part of a squad. You know, that others depend on you and you depend on them. And I think that's, that's the one aspect that I really, really miss about the military. Because everybody has a sense of purpose. Everybody understands what they're doing, you know. And when you come back and, you know, people don't treat you the same way, or they, they mislabel you, they, they, they put you in one label and they think that everybody's the same, it, it really irritates you. It really does, because it's kind of insulting, you know. You stop and think about all the stuff that we all did, you know, and saw, so that those kind of things don't happen here, you know. Honestly, I, I, I tell a lot of my friends, and I tell people that are not in the military, you need to be thankful for what you have here. You don't have to worry about somebody coming out with a, with a vest and blowing himself up in a market. Uh, you don't have to worry about somebody coming with a truck or, or a, or a vehicle and with an improvised explosive device and blow themselves and blow as many people as they can. You know, we've seen one incident and that was in Oklahoma City way back in the day. Can you imagine if there's 20 or 30 Timothy McVeighs? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And the level of violence that I saw, I, I always hope that that never, uh, happens to, to, to Americans because that's what we fought for, you know. So that, you know, I paid the price so that way you don't have to suffer and deal with the consequences of war, because war is hell.
It really is. And the thing is, a lot of people, when they hear that phrase, I paid the price, they think that you're dead. And I'm like, no, the, the price is the PTSD. The price is being away from your family. The price is not seeing your family on holidays. Love, price is all of that stuff and then more. And it's one of those things where it's interesting 'cause one size never fits all. And I know some have served proudly and are happy to say thank you for your service and accept that. I know some veterans, if you say thank you for your service, they get all mad and cranky about it. So it's like everything else, I'm like, I don't know. I always say thank you anyway.
But, you know, um, I have a thing of saying, instead of saying thank you for your service, say thank you for your sacrifice, because that's what they did. They sacrificed, right? You know, and, um, in some cases it's just a simple thank you. You know, acknowledging that, that, that they are there and they belong. And, you know, whatever they did, it meant something to people here, right? Um, that to me is, is the best thing that, uh, that anybody can do. Now, I would tell you, if you're a civilian and you're watching this and you meet somebody who's been in combat please don't tell them how it feels like to shoot somebody or how it feels to get in a firefight, get shot at. You know, first of all, they don't— they don't want to tell you that kind of stuff. Oh, don't ask the question. Don't ask the question.
Yeah, that's why I'm like, I don't think I would tell you how it feels to shoot someone. But yes, that is actually another thing I hear from veterans all the time, is like people are morbidly curious about what it's like. And I have had some veteran friends who have shown me pictures of the war zone, and I am ever so thankful that I never have to see any of that live and in person.
Oh, I can tell you what a.50 cal does to a body. I can't tell you what a 7.62x51 does to a head, right?
Yeah, I've actually seen some of those pictures, not Yeah, but, and it's, it's definitely— but it, again, people don't know, right?
And so thank you for sharing that because, um, I actually had this one kid and he just, it just kept bugging me. I, I usually— this is when I was still active duty, and I usually try not to wear my uniform when I'm outside, you know. Of the base or, or my installation, but I had to go to the bank and I needed to deposit this check or whatever the case may be. And there was this one kid and he just kept, kept like asking me, and what's it like to get shot at? Or how's it like to shoot somebody? And he just, he just pissed me off. And I just looked him dead in the eye and I told him, you want to find out? And, and like, he just got all tense and, you know, freaked out, and he left. I hate to be that way, but I mean, if you're gonna, you know, provoke me to that point, then you get what you get, you know.
I thought you were gonna say, you want to find out? Join the military, find out for yourself.
I mean, that's where I thought— No, I, I looked them dead in the eye and said, you want to find out what it feels like to get shot? You know, and I looked him just straight in the eye and then he's like, whoa, you know. Um, but you know, some people, they like to learn, like, learn the hard way.
Yeah, well, I— and, and a lot of it is not knowing. Like I said, I've got— I have some veterans in my family. I have talked to lots of veterans. It's like the event that I'm going to this weekend, or or sorry for you, everyone watching tomorrow. Chris Tessier, who is the match director for this, one of the most, in the beginning of every competition, we have a safety brief where they make announcements for the day. Where's lunch? When are breaks? Who are the medical people? All of that. But he had 22 veterans stand up front And he's like, tomorrow all these people are going to be gone. Not these particular ones, but 22 veterans are dying. And in America, we talk about 30-second sound bites mostly in our news. And to me, the suicide stuff should be being screamed from the rooftops. Stops because 130 people die a day and 22 or 20 of those are veterans.
You—
the veterans should be getting so much more attention. I mean, how do we help? How do we help move that? How do we help talk about that more? As a veteran, I know in some of your videos you've talked about what could the military do better like releasing people back into society and that sort of thing, but also how to have better help. How can veterans help themselves more? Because as you know, it's like if you have PTSD, no wife, no mom, no sister, no brother is gonna get you to go. You have to decide. So can you talk a little bit more about some of those things? I know I just like threw up a whole bunch of things, but I'm like What helped you actually open up and start to get help?
Actually, it was my kids. My kids stood up to their dad. My kids, they came into my room, they were just crying, they're, you know, just crying their eyes out. And I just, I just told them, what's wrong? Um, and you know, the, the two, the, the middle one and the younger, there's just— they didn't say anything. But the oldest one said it and just looked me in the face and he goes, Dad, we just don't like the way you treat us. And when they said that to me and they're crying, it affected me a lot, to the point where I had to like, you know, do something about it. And I think the biggest thing that, that we forget is that we pretty much program our service members to suck it up and drive on and do whatever they got to do when they're going through tough times. Well, in this instance, they shouldn't have to do that. They, they should be able to contact anybody. And the first contact that I had was with the Vet Center. This is when the Vet Center was barely coming along. And what the Vet Center is basically, it's a clinic for transitioning members, you know, who've been in combat and that need, you know, transition counseling or just counseling in general.
And this is while you're still in the military or as you're—
No, I was still in the military and I was, I was scared because, you know, obviously I didn't want to lose my secret clearance. That was a big thing for me. You know, my job required it and without it I couldn't do my job. And what I like about the Vet Center is that it's separate from the VA hospital. In most cases, Vet Centers are not even near a VA hospital. For the same fact that a lot of people— I mean, honestly, I don't even like going to the VA hospital because, I mean, no disrespect to a lot of the guys, but it feels like a creep show, man. It really does. Because you see guys with no legs and no arms and like damn, I thought I had it bad, you know. And then you don't feel like it, maybe I'm not that messed up, you know, maybe I should just go, you know. So I think, you know, keeping that separate really helped. And, you know, at that time when I just got back, they were barely finding out about PTSD. They were barely understanding the situation with traumatic brain injury. They had no idea how much this affected servicemen. Yeah. But going back to your questions, what are some of the things that we can do? I think there's better things that we all could do right now. The military, once a service member, you know, leaves the military, they should be able to pass that information to some of the civilian organizations that work with veterans and ensure that they follow up with them and making sure that they have what they need. Yeah, unfortunately, when, when we go through our out-processing, it's like, you know, they tell you, are you, uh, you know, you have headaches or whatever? No, no, no, because you want to get the hell out of there. You don't want to stay there, you know. So everybody has that mentality. Oh, you mean just put no and just get the hell out of here, you know, because they don't want to, they don't want to deal with, with the out-processing because it It takes a while and it's, in many ways, just irritates people when, and especially if they're held back for medical, you know, they can put you in a medical platoon and keep you away from your unit, or sometimes they'll keep you in it, but they'll put you on light restriction. And, you know, and sometimes that's a little hard because you go to your unit And you see somebody on light duty and you don't see anything wrong with them, you know. So, you know, any windows come in, like, you know, and, uh, people start thinking of you differently. And, and I think that was the biggest problem that I had when I was in the military, you know, especially when you're a leader, you know, you're your sergeant, staff sergeant, sergeant first class, first sergeant, sergeant major, you know, you have to lead.
And who you go to, buttercup. Yeah, exactly. You can't, you can't be on light duty. You can't take care of yourself. I mean, and this is, this is part of the conversation that's had often on these Suicide Prevention Saturdays is that self-care It doesn't matter whether you're a veteran or a civilian. And I know that comparative thing, not from going to the VA, but when I was a teen, that's when I was suicidal and I went to group therapy and I'm sitting there listening to these folks. Now granted, they have all their body parts, but I'm listening to some of their problems and I had that same thought of like, wow, I really don't have it as bad as that one. And we start comparing like, oh yeah, I guess I'm not as bad as I think, or I shouldn't. Um, luckily for me, I've been to lots of counseling and I have amazing friends and I've learned lots. And I think one of the most and hardest lessons is not to compare my pain to anybody else's. Exactly. Because I could sit here next to you right now and be like, dude, you've been places I never want to go. So I should suck it up, buttercup, because I haven't had to do what you've had to do. But that's not— it's not fair. And unfortunately, I think we definitely minimize that stuff and be like, oh, there's someone who's got it worse than me.
But But trauma is trauma. I mean, women— let's say, for example, women that get raped— that's a trauma that's going to be with them for the rest of their lives, you know. And in many ways, we just need to be conscious that, you know, different traumas trigger people differently and make them act differently. One of the things that I do talk about on my YouTube channel, it's called PTSD Combat Veteran, and it's a series of videos that I talk about anger, I talk about dealing with kids, I talk about, you know, war movies. But I think the one video that's gotten the most views And, and Google, shut up!
Jesus, I'm like, wait a second, what happened?
I didn't play. Google, stop! Hey Google, stop!
Good Lord, I'm sorry. It's okay. Everyone's like, you're gonna edit that out?
I'm like, no, we'll just keep going. Freaking Google. All right, I'm sorry. All right, so start talking about, um, a lot of, uh, a lot of the, the, the things that trigger me. And, and, um, the one video that I got the most views is the one I talk about relationships because it hits home to a lot of people. And it— I've gotten so many great comments out of that video. I was like mind blown because I was sick. I had just, um I, I was sick from, uh, illness called Valley Fever. That's kind of very common where I'm at. Um, and, um, and I was in this video and I'm like coughing and doing all this stuff, but I was talking about my experiences with relationships and the issues that I have with me and my wife. And, um, it really resonated with a lot of people. A lot of people, especially Actually, the spouses started understanding more of what— why they are the way they are. And that's really why I do it. I make those videos so that I can help, like, the, like, the, the parents, the, the spouses, the girlfriends, you know, the boyfriends, if that's the case, you know. The more, the more we tell them like how we feel and the, the challenges that we go through, I think the, the, the more people will willing be willing to help. And, uh, you know, getting yourself out of that, out of that, you know, suck it up buttercup scenario, it's, uh, it's really tough.
It's really tough for a lot of people. And that was kind of actually the next question that I had in my head. Was kind of like, how do we help the families? Because my husband's had to deal with my depression and anxiety since we were in high school, college is when we first met. And I know that for me, it's that if there was anything he could do to fix me, I'd be fixed because we all want to fix the other person, and it's just like, this is like, do you have any particular breadcrumbs to help?
Well, I think, I think first of all, like what you said right now, um, you can't fix PTSD. You just can't. You just, you just, um, the best thing is for you to understand what causes them to, to have anxiety or depression or whatever the case may be. And that's the best way that you can help them. I'm going to give you an example. Let's say I go to a restaurant, right, and it's packed, all right? But, you know, I go to the hostess and I tell her, hey, um, I want to ask for a special request, you know? And they'll be like, okay. And I tell them, look, I'm a combat veteran I can't, I can't stand, you know, with somebody being behind me or passing behind me. Is it possible that I can get a table that's in the corner where I could see everybody kind of thing? And they go out of their way to make sure I get something like that. But I mean, if you don't tell people what you got going on, and then let's say you're in the restaurant and you're agitated because people keep passing by and you can't control it, Uh, and it, it ruins the moment. Like, for example, uh, one time we went to Olive Garden. This is before I, I was more honest with, with the hostesses and people I would go to. Um, they gave us a table and it was in the middle of the walkway, and every time people would pass by, it was irritating me a lot. It was pissing me off. And there was something that my, my wife said, and I just, I just lost it, you know. And in many ways, I was just answering her question, but the way she tells me is that I was yelling at her, and she just walked away and left. And, um, You know, we had to, we had to leave the restaurant because, you know, and I felt so embarrassed because of it because, you know, I, I was in this, in this situation that I couldn't help myself and I lashed out on my loved one.
Yeah, we do that the worst. Uh, I mean It's one of those things I think all of us who've been in like long-term relationships, it's like for better or worse really means for better or worse. And there's definitely times when I'm like, my husband does not deserve the way that I have treated him. Um, how, how did you start to notice, or how do you start paying attention to what are your triggers? Because I know sometimes it's really hard to figure out what's— what the triggers are.
Um, um, what did you notice? Like, for me, I noticed smells. Like, um, like, for example, unfortunately, I live, um, Central California, and it's kind of in the valley, right? So whenever we have wildfire season, which is like from now till like October or November sometimes, you know, you get all that brushfire smell and it reminds you of the fire pits. It reminds me of, you know, of all these bad memories that I had when I was in this little FOB or forward observation base in the middle of nowhere, you know, and people are lobbing mortars and rockets at you or shooting at you, you know, and it just brings all that stuff into you and you just get rage, you know, you get upset and you don't know how to really express yourself. Um, I think another thing that triggers me is, uh, like loud people. Like if, if you're like really loud, I, I, I'm just gonna be— I'm gonna be very honest. I'm telling— look, 'Can you kind of keep it down? Because I can't, I can't deal with it.' Because one thing that, um, like I was telling you, our senses are so heightened and we're so situational aware of everything that if I can't hear what's around me, then how can I protect myself or you or anybody else? You know what I'm saying? Right. So, so that's— so those are the things that that triggered me. Um, I had a, uh, an incident that happened in Iraq where, um, they— the— we were in this little town and they were protesting about— because they had not gotten like, uh, their electricity turned on. This is, uh, you know, after the invasion And I know that they were working on the infrastructure, getting it better and stuff like that. Um, well, I was outside of my Humvee, and all of a sudden I got surrounded by all these people because they were just yelling and, and, and, you know, saying all kinds of stuff. And all of a sudden I felt somebody trying to grab my pistol, and as soon as I did that, I I elbowed the crap out of them, but, uh, they were still trying to hold on. And the only reason why my, my pistol was not, uh, did not come out is because of my holster. My holster, I think it was the old Safariland or something like that.
We have to clip down. Yeah, the, the, the Serpa holster. They got to put your thumb on. We don't allow in training camps that one.
Yeah, well, that one saved my life because if it wasn't for that, you know, this person could have probably had access to my, to my 9mm, probably would have shot me in the head, you know. So it's like, it's like stuff like that. Um, I think honestly, I think, I think veterans need to open up that they need help, you know. They gotta, they, they gotta understand that, you know, people are willing to help them if you just open up your mouth and say what you really feel. The only time they really open up and say how they feel is if they call their battle buddy, or they, or they talk to another veteran that's been there, right?
You know, and I mean, I've heard that a lot as well. It's like veterans only want to talk to veterans because I can't possibly understand because I wasn't there and that sort of stuff. And there's part of me that's I, I hate that because I want to be able to help, but at the same time, it's one of those things where, yeah, I wasn't there, but I have learned different ways to deal with your stress. Everyone's got a different key, but you gotta check around because your battle buddies may or may not have found the solutions. If you are one of their battle buddies, you found ways to talk about it and that sort of stuff.
And I'm, I'm gonna tell you the reason why a lot of veterans don't like talking about it, because it's very gruesome what we talk about.
Oh no, no, I just mean the— that they need help, not talking about why.
Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but sometimes when, when people want us to open up, I tell them, you sure you want to know this? Yeah, because, because most of the stuff I tell them is very graphic and very brutal. Right, you know. And, and then they're like, oh, maybe I don't want to know. And then you're more upset because, because you kind of like, you know, put yourself out there, and then all of a sudden, you know, these people don't want to help you. So I, I can see that's why sometimes, um, you know, um, veterans would rather talk to somebody who's served or who's, you know, had the same, uh, experiences, because that way they can relate.
They understand what you're going through, right? You know, well, I know that, um, tools— one of the things I try to give out every Saturday is a tool. Something as simple as shoulders back, head up, take a deep breath in. Or if you feel like you're like falling apart, if you put your head down and you're, you're looking down, you're getting all in. Whereas if you open up and put your head up physically, you can break out of at least something, right? What kind of tools do you use? Like, because you know, you've got your triggers. So I'm guessing you've also found some tools to help you if you know you're in a place that's not awesome, because you can't control if there's forest fires or not.
So how do you help yourself get from holy crap to how do I help prepare, right? So I mean, there's, there's different ways. Obviously, I try to talk to somebody, you know, uh, try to talk to my battle buddies as much as I can. But if for some reason, you know, it's in the middle of the day and everybody's working, whatever the case may be, um, the VA actually has this thing called the PTSD Coach, and it's an app. And it's an app that you, uh, you can download to your, um, to your phone. And it's got like, um, you know, um, it can— it kind of breaks it down like, you know, how do you feel, what are some of the things that you're going through. And they, you know, they, they pretty much put it in there and it tells you how to cope with it and help— gives you a lot of tools. It even has like, like soothing music or soothing pictures and stuff like that that that, you know, can help you. So, and I don't think this is just for service members. I think anybody can download this. So, I mean, you don't have to serve in the military to, to download that, that app. And it's something that could, that could definitely help, um, a lot of people.
Um, there is an anxiety video that I share all the time. It's by this guy Sam Harris, and it's like a 6 or 8 minute video, and it just talks about like when you're feeling like— for you, the story you gave me of, you know, going back to that moment where you're starting to freak out for having someone steal your pistol and you could die right then and there, right? And the loud noises. And then the anxiety thing would talk about how, okay, what's happening right now? And trying to bring yourself back to the present. Do you do any like meditation or anything like that as well, or do you like just use the app and your friends? And like, because I just wanted to let people have as many possibilities for ways to find a way to deal.
I, I deal with it a little different than most people. I, I look at pictures of my family, you know. I, I look at the, the, the reason for me being, uh, here, you know, being where I'm at. You know, I used to have a picture of my family in my Kevlar, and I had it inside, and it reminded— every time I put it on, reminded me the reason I'm going home, and I'm gonna do what I need to do to, to be there for my kids, you know. And that's kind of one of the things that I think a lot of people need to do is look at pictures, look at memories that you have with loved ones or instances where, you know, you had really good times and just go back to those times. And honestly, to me, it helps me a lot. I have a tendency of watching, you know, comedies or stand-up. I love stand-up comedy. I love stand-up comedy. Whenever I can find a good comedian YouTube or whatever the case, um, I tend to watch them. I tend to listen to what they say. If they're really funny, you know, it's—
it helps me. Um, the last one I saw was Fluffy. I don't remember his real name, but he cracks me up. It's, uh, Gabriel Iglesias. Yes, that one.
We went—
he was here in Connecticut and we got to see him, and it was just like, yeah. I think the last time I saw any other comedian was Ron White, and that was probably about 10 years ago, or it might have even been 3 children.
And my kids are— there's your sign, pretty much. Yeah. Um, so, you know, um, I got to see Robin Williams. Oh yeah. And, um, Robin Williams's death really hit me hard. Yeah. Because you would never think that this, this this gentleman, this person of— he's, you know, he's pretty much a legend, right? Would commit suicide, you know. And that's one thing I, I want to talk to you people about, is that, you know, sometimes they— you, you may not see it all the time, you know. They, they may try to play the happy-go-lucky, but inside they're dying, man, you know. And it's, and it's when, when they get to that you know, that, that corner or that place in the room, and they're just alone with their thoughts, is when a lot of these things happen, you know. And yeah, Robin Williams's death really hit me hard because, um, you know, he really loved the troops. He really loved performing, um, for the troops, um, and, um, he took his time, you know. They told him, oh, it's 1 hour, should be like 3 hours, and you're still going at it. He didn't care. Right. Because he loved, he loved the guys, you know, he wanted to make sure that, that, you know, at least we can forget about war for 1 or 2 hours, you know.
Yeah, yeah, no. And then that's actually one of the questions I get all the time is people is like, how can you tell? How can you tell? And I use Robin Williams as the example. I'm just like, here's someone crazy successful. Tons of people love him. On pretty much anyone's success scale, he was up there. And yet, there was something missing inside to make him feel like he needed to continue on to the next day. And it's just like, I was suicidal when I was in high school. And like, I went back to my 20-year reunion, I asked all my girlfriends, I'm like, did you guys have any idea that I was depressed? Like, no, not at all. And it's just like, there isn't necessarily a way— are there people that show the typical depression, withdrawal, all of that sort of stuff. I'm like, yes, of course people fall into that. But there's plenty of people that, like Robin Williams, look like they've got all their stuff together and they've walked the walk, they talk the talk, just like Facebook lies, right? It's like, oh, look at how beautiful everyone's life is. It's like, um, no, Most of us suck at sharing our pain. Some of us share our pain too much, um, and it's just like, it's— the truth is somewhere in between. And I've been to— I'm sure like you have— is like, I've been to funerals where someone has committed suicide, and the conversations I hear are always the same. Why didn't they reach out? How come they didn't call me? I was there for them. And I'm like, no, Here's the deal. Like you're talking about checking in with your battle buddies. It's like, you have to check in with your friends, you have to call them because if they're feeling like they're not worthy of the breath that they're taking in, they're not going to reach out for help. And like you said, we need to get better about that.
But yeah, no magic ideas of how to do that for other people or suggestions. Yeah. And actually, that's a, that's a great, that's a great thing is reaching out. Um, I have a lot of friends that reach out, but the, the one that reaches out the most is, uh, MCK. His name is Mark. Um, and, um, although he never served, he understands my pain. He understands the issues that I deal with. And, you know, I just get a text out of the blue, hey, what's up, man, what are you doing? You know, and it means the world to me because at least somebody's thinking of me, you know, other than my immediate family. Right. So yeah, it's just reaching out and just finding out how they're doing. It's the best, it's the best medicine because you want them to know that they matter, that you care about them, you know? And in many ways, I think it's going to create a stronger bond between that person and the veteran I mean, you know, so, and maybe in some cases they might even open up to them, you know, but at least just being there is the best thing that you can do.
Yeah, I mean, it's another encouraging thing I try to do every Saturday is like, if someone pops into your head, no matter when the last time you talked to them was, pick up the phone and call them. And so like you said, just say, hey, how's, how's life? Um, there are so many stories. And because it's the internet, you don't know how much is real, how much isn't. But like, of the kid who was packing up their locker and dropped something, and some other kid came along and helped them pick it up. And then years later, the kid's like, thanks for helping me with my books. I was going home to kill myself, but because you showed me a little bit of kindness, total stranger, I, you know, I didn't do that. Um, so it can be so simple, and some of us will never know if we've made a difference in someone's life, right?
Um, but at the same time, it can be so little that we have to do. Yeah. And something— it's just, you know, it's just the little things. And, and that's, that's one aspect that I think, um, you know, people really need to, to, to think about. It's just the little things that matter, because to many of us, you know, you know, we're happy where we at. You know, but it's just knowing people that care about you is the most important thing than anything else, you know. Yeah.
So, all right, well, I don't know, what else do we have to talk about?
Um, I, I think, uh, the other aspect that I want to talk about, uh, PTSD is that, like I was saying before, this is a permanent condition. This is something that's not going to go away. This is something that, you know, has to be driven and it has to be, you know, we just have to continuously care for that person. They're going to have ups and downs. They're going to, you know, maybe not be as responsive on some other times, but, you know, You got to make them feel like they matter and what they do for you and for your family or for everybody else makes a difference. I think the worst thing that you could ever do to a combat vet is to make them feel like they don't belong anymore, that nobody understands them, that nobody's there for them. And that's when that level of depression hits them to the point that they feel like the best thing they could do is, you know, kill themselves. You know, I say this a lot, and to be honest with you, I think I'm being very honest here. Most people don't really care about veterans because it doesn't affect them. Only 1% of the total population serves in the military or ever served in the military. So when somebody dies, it's not like a big deal, you know, to the community. Some, some people in the community might, might see it as a big deal, but to others it's just, well, they killed themselves, you know, sucks to be them. And, you know, it's, uh, it's something that, you know, that's just mentality of some people. Um, so, you know, I, I think, um, in all honesty, just, just care for the person, care for the people that you love, and, uh, you know, they can have a long, fulfilling life because that's what we all want us to do. Um, uh, I am actually in June, I'm actually going to, uh, to a retreat that's similar to what you guys are— to, uh, Wounded Heroes. Um, it's called Mighty Oaks. I don't know if you ever heard of it.
I have not. Well, and this is the other thing, is like the more I get into it, the more I find— and it's sort of like 2A organizations where it's like, I wish we sort of had a better holistic approach to, hey, if you're in New Hampshire, here are some great 2A— or, you know, veteran Veteran help centers and that sort of stuff.
And, and that's one aspect that I think a lot of people need to understand. There's, there's countless of veteran organizations that, that their whole sole purpose is to help veterans, you know. And I think people just, you know, need to do a little bit of research and find out. I found out about Mighty Oaks through watching a video, um, an old video that they talk about bud stringing. And one of the guys that's in there, it's an older gentleman, they call him Mother because he's kind of like always keeping an eye on everybody, right? Yeah. Well, there was some clickbait when I watched that video about what happened to him after he came back, or, or this was during Afghanistan or Iraq, whatever the case may be. You guys got to watch that video, and he talks about how he couldn't he couldn't go to a mission, or he wasn't able to go into one of these missions, and his whole platoon died. And these are all Navy SEALs. And it affected him so bad to the point that, you know, he lost his wife and lost, uh, you know, pretty much his family and had to start all over again. And some way, somehow, uh, he found other veterans that are willing to help. And, you know, they created this organization, and now they, they have like 2 or 3 retreats in the United States. They have one in California, and I think they have one in Florida. And it's— they got, they got other nonprofits to help and corporations to help. So this is like a, like a week-long thing for these veterans. You know, they have to prove that they're veterans, they have to, you know, show their DD-214 and stuff like that. Um, but if, if anybody can go to anything like this, a Wounded Heroes or Mighty Oaks, um, and, and you're a veteran and you're watching this, you know, you suffer from PTSD, man, go and do it. It's the best thing you can ever do.. You'll be doing, you'll be talking to peers, you know, basically your peers, you know, for veterans and first responders. And, you know, and I think sometimes the best thing that we can do is to have that interaction with other people that have suffered and have gone through the same ordeals as you, as I have. And we can better relate. The transition from the military to the civilian world has not been easy for me, you know. Uh, it's been tough. It's, um, it's gotten to the point where I just don't even bother applying for jobs, you know, even though I have a master's degree, even though I have all this experience and all this stuff. But it's got me to the point where I'm like, well, you know, maybe I'm just— I just given up. You know, and I'm to the point now that I just feel that I need to attend something like this because I need to get that perspective of other people so I can, I can better, you know, help myself and help others.
Yeah, it's, uh, I mean, again, from other people I've talked to as well, it's that whole thing of you're in the military You have your mission, you know what you're supposed to do, you have your job, and then you come out and it's just like it's all gone. Everything that they trained you to make you do and to have that singular focus, and now it's just like, okay, you take care of you, have a nice day. Um, but it's, it's, um, Mike Rowe is another guy who does like a pay it forward kind of show, and I'm blanking on the name, but I wrote it down so I'd remembered it. But he also has like a lot of different veterans. Like here in New York State, there is a veteran who, um, or a group of veterans again, that started up a body shop. And they do it so that they employ veterans to fix up these cars and then give them to veterans who need them to get to shops. And that sort of stuff. That's awesome. There's tons of stuff out there, um, but it just seems like it's so hard to find it. I know you said just do a little research, but like, what kind of stuff do you actually look for when you're looking for this stuff?
Absolutely. And, you know, I mean, in all honesty, and I know this is something that a lot of them don't want to hear, but you have to network. You have to, you know, talk to others and, and figure out you know, um, what's out there.
That's how I found this place, you know. So what do you— wait, what do you have your degree in? You said you've got a master's or something.
What do you do? It's, uh, criminal justice administration with the emphasis on Homeland Security. And there's no jobs for you at this point, or just no jobs you actually want to do? Well, you know, to be honest with you, but Um, uh, I think I was more broken than what I thought. And now that I'm, I'm kind of like, you know, not doing much, my body's like, you know, hurting. Like, I'm actually gonna have knee surgery at the end of the month.
Um, you know, and I have a lot of scratches, man.
Good luck. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, and now it's gotten to the point where, you know, maybe that wasn't such a good career move. But, you know, the aspect that I have a lot of experience in leadership and, you know, operations and systems, you know, that, that's what helps me. But just finding something that, that I'm going to be passionate about is the hardest thing.
Absolutely. I mean, it's, I don't know, it's, again, my life is different than yours. Everyone's life is unique.
All—
everybody who suffers from any kind of PTSD, uh, depression, anxiety, everybody's got different levels and that sort of stuff. I know that for me, working for myself is one of the hardest things because I'm like, oh look, squirrel, something else I can do over here and something else I could do over here. Um, but I don't know. Well, since you've got all that leadership stuff and you've got all that thing, maybe you can start coordinating all these veteran groups to actually come together and create the network so that there is something for everybody. So that's my suggestion for you, you know, a little, little tiny task while you're sitting there recovering from surgery, maybe.
Yeah, and, and, and I thought about it, but you know, there's, there's really a lot of YouTube creators that are military, um, and some of them have, you know, better charisma or better, uh, presentation skills than I do. Um, and, uh, you know, I think that some of the stuff that we talk about is, it's kind of out there already, you know.
Yeah, well, so, but here's the thing though, is like I'm reaching different people than other 2A women are reaching, right? There's Holly Sullivan, there's Diana Muller, these are all DC Project ladies, right? And they're all 2A But we all come across different. And I mean, dude, Mario, there's gonna be people that relate to you because you're not all slick and polished and all those other things. So I would definitely not suggest that the other folks are better, or it's just they're different.
And each of us have a different— well, actually, I really want to find— I really want to find my, my, my Robin, if you want to call it Um, okay, we're in Iraq, right? And we had tower duty, and tower duty is boring as hell. You're just in the tower and you're looking at, you know, your surroundings, but it gets boring, you know?
And everybody had lots of sand.
I don't know, not necessarily. There's vegetation, right? Um, But, um, you get bored. So everybody had these little Motorolas, right? And, um, you know, we would, we would talk and we kind of created like this, uh, like a radio talk show kind of thing. Oh God. So, so myself and, and my, my, my compadre here, um, we were the Cracker and Bean Dip Show.
Okay, and we had the— is he white and you're darker?
I don't know, I'm just curious. Yeah, and no, he was super white. So, um, so it was funny, you know, it was called the Cracker and Bean Dip Show, and it had, you know, and the Motorola has like a little call sign, like a little beep or whatever, and we'd be like, oh, we have a caller, and then call it. And then we had people impersonate other people, and I mean The, the worst one is when we had our platoon sergeant on the radio and he started pretending to be a woman. I'm like, dude, you sound so bad as a woman. So literally like Robin Williams. I, I really, I really wanna, I really want to find the crackhead, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, the cracker, the cracker. And then, you know, and we can create like a little live talk show and stuff like that. Yeah, I would love to find that so I can, I can restart the, uh, cracker and bean dip show.
It was great. Yeah. Oh hey, it is, uh, I mean, you already said before, you know, laughter is one of the best medicines, um, for sure. Um, and yeah, and we did all kinds of stupid things just to entertain ourselves, believe me.
Yeah, I, I mean, there's some videos that I've seen that there's some that leaked out, some of the other things that shouldn't be leaked out. I'm like who would put this video on, on the internet? Like, what the hell?
Yeah, we're not supposed to talk about— yeah, for sure. It's— well, I mean, some of it's been creative, like the music videos they've put out with dudes on tanks and stuff like that. So I mean, there's, there's some stuff that's got entertainment, but then yes, there are the videos that I've seen that never made it to YouTube and shall never make to YouTube, but I'm like, okay, yeah.
Oh yeah. No. Yeah, we, we have some, trust me. Yeah.
And yeah, they'll never make YouTube because they're most likely get pulled out super fast. It's like, nope, we're done, see ya.
Yeah.
Um, all right, so I have a hard question to ask. I don't know, it feels hard for me to ask it. I don't know if it's hard, but it's like, is PTSD impacted harder? Because for someone like you who's coming back from a combat zone, that you have survivor's guilt because you came back and you know all the folks that did not come back.
Because, um, I, I think, I think all kinds of trauma, mental trauma, it's, it's, it's tragic. But I think the reason why it affects um, veterans so much is because it's how violent it was and how, you know, one incident or one firefighter seeing your battle buddy died, you know, it'll affect them for the rest of their lives. Um, and not to say that other trauma that other people have endure, it's not, it's not worthwhile, or not, should not be talked about. But I still think that, you know, a civilian doesn't have that training that I have, where, you know, you kind of suck it up and drive on. We have that mentality.
We're kind of like a robot. That's really all they ever do, it's suck it up.
But, but, but I, you know, I still think that you know, a civilian who hasn't endured that kind of trauma or that kind of issues or not trained that way, they can better open up to what's wrong with them, right?
Well, and Americans in general, I mean, I know if you actually live— I don't know, it's— we do not deal with death very well at all. Like, it's not part of our culture. It's like Day of the Dead in Mexico makes sense because you get to celebrate, you get to understand, you got your ancestry, all that. But it's like, to me, Americans, we don't, we don't deal with death, right?
Um, um, I really don't think Americans deal with tragic stuff that well, you know.
Like I said, we don't see it. It's not part of our day. We're not worried about the little kid, you know. We're not looking at kids and seeing if they're looking too puffy today to see if they've got a bomb on them, right?
So, you know, one thing I can say is we got to be very thankful for the law enforcement that we have, because along with us, we have prevented a lot of attacks in the mainland because of it, you know. And I know a lot of people, even to this day, they, they still talk about the Patriot Act and how this thing kind of like took people's privacy away, but You stop and think about it, most of these people that want to harm us, they live in our neighborhoods, they live in our, you know, in our communities. So, you know, they embedded with, with the regular civilian community, you know. Let's look at the Boston bomber. This guy was living in a, you know, Boston area, you know. He made it seem like there was nothing extreme about them.
Yeah. Oh yeah, no, we don't know what we don't know. I mean, I've got friends at the FBI and it's just like they can't tell you all the stuff that they've stopped.
Yeah, it's like the police, they can't tell you all the things that didn't happen, right? I can't tell you because I've seen it, but there's a lot of things that we have prevented because of the due diligence that we have, you know, to, to protect our country, to, to— for us to never have to see, or our population never have to see what we see, you know.
And, um, I still think that Americans in general just take their liberties for granted. Oh, absolutely. I mean, and it's like, I hate to sound horrible, but it's like part of me is that whole thing of first world problems. Like, people got an almond milk latte versus their whole milk latte, and they're— yeah, if they don't have it, it's a tragedy. And I'm just like— and yet I still hear my counselor's, you know, voice saying, don't compare your pain to someone else's pain because it's not fair. But it's just like, okay, trying to not judge and be like, Okay, that's their horrible thing. But it's just like, when you know that you've watched someone have body parts blown off in front of you, and then you see them in the hospital with less than what they started with, it's like almond milk versus whole milk all of a sudden doesn't seem like a big idea. But then it's like, oh, but wait, they're allergic to it and they're gonna die because they drank it. So I mean, I don't know.
So trying not to judge others. Yeah, not, not only that, but Stop and think about it. We have continuous electricity, right? We have—
well, I don't know, we're about to head into rolling blackouts just like California, so we're following you there. Oh, lovely. I know. But anyway, yes, normally in America we have continuous electricity.
You know, you have sewers that works, you have water as soon as you open the, the tap, you know, clean water, clean water.
Yeah, that's drinkable pretty much from almost every faucet you open. It doesn't taste that great, but it's drinkable. Yeah, it's not gonna kill you for drinking it, and you don't have to walk 10 miles with a bucket on your shoulder to get water for the day or the week or whatever. Exactly. Yeah, Americans who have not left America and not been to a third world— I mean, uh, my, my, my Mexico story I went to Mexico to get my dad out of jail. And yeah, that's a whole nother story. We won't go down that rabbit hole. But I know enough Spanish that I'm standing there on the road with my dad and we're going to breakfast. And a gentleman walks up and starts talking to my father. And I'm like, Dad, just say no. What's he saying? I'm like, I'll tell you later. Just say no. Just say no. And so we get to breakfast and my dad's like, so what was he saying? He's like, well, he said that I was a pretty white girl and they had really good doctors in their brothel and he would give a really good price for me. Wow, seriously? Yeah, for real, for real. And, and it's one of those things I'm like, and that's just over the border.
That was in Nogales, Mexico. Well, you know, I think people have no idea that how much other people in other countries hate Americans. That too. Yeah, I saw that firsthand. I saw the hatred of people and how much they hate America and what we stand for. And it's bone-chilling, man. It really is, because you see through their eyes how much they hate you, you know. Um, there's times where we got into firefights, you know, and you capture a couple guys and you know, you start interrogating them, find out who they are. I ran into this one guy from Jordan, and he spoke really good English, you know. And I asked him, so where are you from? He goes, I'm from Jordan. And I'm like, you're from Jordan? He goes, yeah. What are you doing here? Well, I came to kill Americans. Straight out like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I just think people take their liberties for granted, and they take what we have here, uh, you know, for granted. I think it's something that, that we need to cherish, and we need to, uh, continuously be thankful for, you know, for sure.
And I mean, it is I will tell you that I used to not know anything as far as our government, any of that sort of stuff. I never voted, I never paid any attention. And then I became a gun owner, and I found out a 10-round mag ban is a gun ban. I found out that violence prevention has nothing to do with gun control laws, you know.
And so I started paying attention, and I met people like, um, Gaby Franco, who's— oh, you met her, huh?
Yeah, she's from Venezuela. Yeah, I was gonna say she's from Venezuela, and like, she's one of our DC Project ladies. And, you know, she's very much, you know, Americans— just what you were saying, Americans don't really understand what we're losing right now.
They don't get what we're giving up. They don't, they don't understand socialism and communism, you know. To, to them, it was, uh, very shocking that in the state of Florida, uh, Trump won in the majority of the Hispanic community there. Yeah, but you stop and think about it, all these people come from Cuba, from Nicaragua, from Venezuela. They don't— you know, that's the whole reason why they left these places, so they don't have to experience that here. You know, they, they know what communism is, they know what socialism is, you know, and And it's something that—
and they know how it creeps. Like, it starts with a little thing and then it goes bigger and bigger and bigger because it's just like, as a gun owner, I know, gun owner just for the past decade, I'm like, I totally see that. No, they're not coming to take my guns away. They're gonna make me a felon so they can just throw me in jail because I can't keep up with all the, the gun laws that are currently Let me give you a story. Okay, okay. And then we will go, because when this is airing, this is going to be past my bedtime already, and I got to get up and do a, a match.
Sorry, this is your story. Okay, this is the last story. I'm going to talk about how this affects you as a second— as a gun owner. Okay, uh, when we invaded Iraq, right, um, we told, um, the civilian population that they had to turn in their weapons, right? Back in the day, every citizen could have an AK, and I think it was 50 rounds. And a lot of them willingly went, you know, being law-abiding citizens, went and turned in their guns, right? And then we lost— we did the change of government, and the worst mistake that the United States ever did is disbanding the Iraqi army. Because a lot of these guys are upset, you know, they're not getting any money or anything like that. So they became insurgents, and these guys ended up, you know, pretty much, uh, taking over the country and doing what they need to be doing, right? And, um, and just for the sake of, of this story, his name is Muhammad. So let's say Muhammad, somebody comes into his house and pretty much ransacks his house and tells him, you're going to do what I tell you to do because I got you and your family, and if you don't do what I ask you to do, I'm going to kill you. So he was out there lobbing mortars at us, planting IEDs, even though this is something that he didn't agree with. But because this insurgent had his family, he ended up having to do those things. So think about that, you know, as far as, you know, your rights as a gun owner. There's a reason why we continue to be the United States of America, you know what I'm saying? Because it's not just about, about, uh, gun ownership. It's about, you know, keeping the government in check, being able to protect yourself, being able to defend your your terrain, your property, or whatever the case may be. So that's something that you should never take lightly. The fact that we just saw that in Ukraine, where Ukrainians— I mean, the government actually had to give guns to the, the population, um, says a lot, you know?
Right. Yeah. And it's, it's, it's— yeah, I'm not even going down that road anyway because it's crazy to me. It's just like, um, yeah. And I mean, I've just learned so much about suicide prevention. I've learned so much about violence prevention. I've learned so much about being an American because the laws that are in place— just our Constitution is there for a reason, and that people just want to shred it and throw it away.
And people need to understand that other countries have copied our Constitution. That's how good it is. Right. People don't stop and think about— there's like 3 or 4 countries that pretty much mirror our Constitution, you know, and that says a lot about what that document really means, you know, and what it means to, to be an American.
Yeah, that would be those countries that don't hate us though. So there's that. Yeah. All right, sir, well, I thank you for jumping on, um, I glad we could work around our schedules because we've also got great schedules this week. And while this is airing, I hope you're having fun with your buddies and enjoying your memorial service that you're going to. Yeah. And I know I'm going to be going to bed right now and when this actually finishes airing on Saturday night.
So, okay. All right, sounds good. Well, it's great meeting you, uh, Brooke. And, uh, you know, let's, let's continue this some the more we talk about it, the more we make other people aware, the better it's going to be for everybody.
And I mean, and absolutely, my hope is, A, people who have commented or made comments and stuff, that you'll come back and visit. Um, and then maybe we can do another follow-up where we are actually live on Saturday night. Yeah, absolutely. Um, yeah, we'll do all that. All right, sir. Well, thank you for everything. And I'm gonna hit the end broadcast button and see if it stops recording. I'm sure it does. I hope that that's what that means. Ta-da! All right, so bye everyone. Thank you so much for sticking out for that whole long time. And yeah, just like I just said on Wednesday night, I'm gonna go to bed now because I gotta be up at 6. Um, Ghost, thanks for for letting us know about 22. I will also post a whole boatload of, um, whatever you call it, links in the description, but probably not till Monday because I'm gonna shoot all day, drive home, go to my friend's mom's memorial service before I make it all the way home. So yeah, get ready. I see everyone's voting for the second part of the live stream. So yes, we will get Mario on again. And no problem, Gizzard Gary, happy to do it. It just seems so perfectly appropriate that I do Suicide Prevention Saturday with PTSD as the focus with our veterans, considering that's why we're raising money. So wish me luck tomorrow in the raffles, because that is the only thing I'm really planning on winning. And I will see you all next Saturday for our normal itty-bitty 15-minute quickie sort of thing. And for those of you who want to, head on over to Barbecue's channel. I believe that is everything. So, uh, share, let me know in the comments maybe some of your favorite takeaways. DJ was, uh, PMing me at the time saying we should chop this up in little pieces. Um, by all means, tell me what your favorite piece was if you actually sat through that entire thing. So I appreciate y'all, and I will see you next Saturday. And good night.
