Suicide Prevention Sat - Because we need to talk about Holidays

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, and then it says you are live. Um, although there's never ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So anyway, let's see, is it 9 o'clock? It says 9 o'clock by my watch. It says 8:59 on my computer. Hmm, should I start? Should I not start yet? We will just have to wait and see. Oh yes, my lovely wet hair, it's a beautiful thing. There it is. See, I keep forgetting that I had opened the YouTube channel., and I can't mute it before it starts playing. So I did just hear myself talking to myself, but today I actually knew where the heck it was coming from. All right, so what is today? Today is Saturday. It's another Saturday, and this is 2022. Yeah, right. Okay, um, because I was thinking, I'm like, since 2018, I don't know why, but that's like 18, so 19, 20. 21, 22. So 4 years of this popping on Saturday nights and saying, hey, we need to talk about suicide prevention, especially as gun owners, because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are suicides. And if we actually want to save lives, we need to talk about the mental health side of things. So here we are. Um, so many things. I was just talking to DJ before we popped on and Ooh, speaking of things, well, I'll let you do it, DJ. Why don't you pop up the banner since I did not do that yet? Um, but holidays, holidays are coming. Oh wait, ready? I was joking with him, but like for real, I have little— I have props today. So we're going to talk about the holidays today because as much as most of us look forward to the holidays, the truth of the matter is Holidays are some of the loneliest times for people who are struggling with depression and anxiety. So even though we love our pretty lights and usually this sort of thing makes us happy, for some people it makes them feel like they are even more segregated or separated from the world because we know we're supposed to be happy around the holidays. We know we're supposed to be joyful to see our friends and our family. We know we're supposed to have a time of giving and gifts and that sort of thing. And if you do not have family, or if you are recently divorced, or there's so many stressors in life, they really pop up when it comes to be holiday time, when everyone's trying to get together. Now, what can we do about that? We can take care of ourselves first and foremost. Two, We can do something as simple as volunteer our time somewhere. Holidays are coming, so what does that mean? It means soup kitchens are super busy right now, uh, food pantries need help, things like that. And I know it might seem counterintuitive, but if you're in crisis— that's what that little word says here, wait, can I— no, this way, um— doing something for someone else will help you more than you realize, in that putting your hand out there and paying attention to somebody else's pain and suffering does help us. It doesn't mean you can't or you don't need to deal with your own pain and suffering, but putting yourself out there does help others. So sorry, I actually have notes tonight. So holidays are hard, makes us feel alone if we don't have friends and family to spend them with. What else can we do? We can help out. What else can we do? We can call that person that we're sure has plans for the holidays. For sure they do. Call them and invite them to your house anyway. I mean, it doesn't take that much to add one more to your table. Holidays are hard when you have just lost someone. My grandmother was probably the first one we lost in a December. We lost my grandmother the first week of December, and that first Christmas really sucked. So you don't even have to be necessarily struggling with anxiety, depression, but it could just be a loss. So you want to be aware of that just for yourself as well. Um, the second person we lost was my sister, and that was in October. So we went through Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that sucked. And here's the thing, we need to talk about the fact that that sucks. It's like when you lose a family member who's usually part of your holiday celebration and now you no longer have that person to celebrate the holiday with, it's noticeable. You need to be aware that it's going to affect you. And it's so often people are like, oh no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. And we ignore what we need to do for ourselves. So being aware of what some of the stressors can be, being aware that you have friends or someone, maybe you know someone in the gun community here in Connecticut. We lost this really cool dude, his name is Mike Semeraro. He's one of the people who got me into IDPA back in 2010. And, you know, it's like, check in on his family, make that phone call, find out if they need anything for the holidays. And here's the thing, we want to make sure that's balanced because I know some of us out there tend to be martyrs and we're always doing, doing, doing for other people and we think we should be able to save them. And the answer is no, we're not trying to save them, we're trying to be the best person that we can be to help them. And if something we do makes a difference, yay for us. If it doesn't make a difference for them, it's okay because we're doing it for us to make sure that we're taking care and doing what we can do. So speaking of all of that, what about you? What makes you happy? I have a whole bunch of stuff here in front of me that I'm going to share with you guys tonight to give you random ideas of what makes me happy. Because everybody— once I— oh yeah, my thing over there says one size never fits all. No, that's the one. You don't know what you don't know. Oh, you can't read it, but way over there in the orange there, it says one size never fits all. You're just gonna have to believe me on that one. All right, so ready? Happiness, having a little light on my desk that actually lights up. And no, I'm not decorating for Christmas already. This never got put away. So just in case y'all are gonna go crazy because I got Christmas decorations out already, it has been around 365 since last year. Oops, and now I've— there we go. Here is something else. A friend of mine who is part of AA, I was at his house one day. This was in the bathroom. You know, everyone should have books in the bathroom, right? We all do. Just assume that we really all do. Something as simple as this, Daily Meditations on the Psalm. I don't talk about it a lot here, but in order to be whole and happy, most of us are more happy if we believe in something greater than ourselves. What's great about this? Daily meditations. It's super short, right? So today is— oh, I looked at the wrong day— November 12th, right? You must not bow down to an alien deity. I am the Lord your God who brought you up from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide so that I may fill it. Psalms 81:10 and 11. And then it's got this little reflection: Baby birds open wide their beaks to receive food from their mother. God tells Israel to accept Expect the same from him who has freed them from Egyptian slavery. Prayer: Father, may we look to you for nourishment through the church. So it gives you something to think about. It's super short, super easy. You don't have to think about doing a Bible study. You just open up to the day. Do you have to do it every day? No, of course not, but it's something to do. Here's something else. Oh, these are the things I've taken— I've, I've taken things out of my bedroom for you guys today. Awareness. Wait, can I do this? All right, so I have this hanging on my wall, and I try to read it on a daily basis because it is so easy to look to or at someone else and think about, well, why didn't they just— right? And, um, I don't know if you've all had time to read this so far, but to be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than being aware of a thousand in somebody else's, because guess who we can't fix? We can't fix anybody else, we can only work on ourselves. Rather than speaking badly about the people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a pure perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities. In other words, if you don't have anything nice to say, shh, just be quiet. If you find yourself slandering anybody, first imagine that your mouth is filled with extra mint. It will break the habit, break you of the habit quickly. So I appreciate the fact that the Dalai Lama has a sense of humor, because who wants to put poop in their mouth? Like, for real. So this is one of the things that I try to feed my brain on a regular basis. Do I criticize other people? Yes, I'm human. Um, I, I criticize myself, I criticize other people, but I try not to do it on a regular basis. I try to be aware of what I'm doing. Here's one of the other ones that is on my wall in my room. Because forgiveness is something that we all need, whether it's for ourselves or for those around us. Now, please understand, I think a lot of people misunderstand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not saying a bad thing happened and it's okay. Forgiveness is letting go of anything that is eating you up. So Ah, in case you haven't read it yet, it would be much more constructive if people try to understand their supposed enemies. Learning to forgive is much more useful than merely picking up a stone and throwing it at the object of one's anger, the more so when the provocation is extreme, for it is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and others. So here are the sort of things that I try to put in my head on a daily basis, even if I don't actually read that whole thing every day. If I need it, I will read it. Oh, that rhymed. Um, there are other little things that make me happy. This is my little baby Buddha, and I don't know if I can make it actually, but it's just cute, and it's purple, and it's green, and you can't see the light shining through it, but it's just kind of really cute, and it's one of those things, it's like a pet rock. I can just pet my little Buddha and it's fun. So it can be something as simple as this. What else? Doctor Who. Why is this mint box so exciting? Because I got it in England, so it reminds me of something that is fun. These are the things that I feed for myself so that I can be happier. So if I can be happier, I can help other people better. Something as simple as this. What is this? It's a pretty cool knife, I think, because it's rainbows, and I am all about rainbows and unicorns. So why am I sharing with you all of these little things? Because I don't know what makes you happy. And when was the last time you thought about the stuff that makes you happy? Now DJ is here. I know one thing that makes DJ happy. He loves music, hence DJ. Go figure. I know before I got on here tonight, what was I doing? I was listening to music nice and loud. Um, giving, whether it's volunteering your time at a soup kitchen, donating to charity. This is the 4 Oceans thing. This is, you know, you donate $20 and you get a bracelet and they say they took a pound of plastic out of the ocean, stuff like that. There's just so many options. So if you're having a bad day, take care of you first. If you see someone having a bad day, do what you can, but have realistic expectations that it's up to them to decide. I have a 14-year-old— no, I have a 15-year-old daughter. She'll be very grumpy, and I will be very happy, and I will try to help her That's not usually very helpful in that it doesn't work that well very often because people are just going to be mad and cranky and angry sometimes. Now here's the thing that I will tell you all that I actually have a good time doing is there are times when I see a significant sourpuss out in the world, whether I know them or not, but just someone who's like, you just can tell they were just very mad people. And I love going up like, oh my gosh, you look so great today, have a great day. And the killing them with kindness is entertaining for me. And sometimes they don't realize that they had this horrible looking face and they were angry. Um, at the very least, I usually confuse the hell out of them. And so it's entertaining for me, so I get a good laugh of it whether or not it changes their opinions or not. So Suicide Prevention Saturday, because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths that we hear about are suicides. We need mental health care in America. We need mental health care for you and I. We need to talk about mental health care as if it's just another piece of our health care, because we need to lose weight, we need to get fitter, we can do lots of things, and we can't do the actual physical healthy stuff If we are not playing with lights, petting pet rocks, finding things that are pretty that make us happy, if we're not doing those things for ourselves, we're going to have a hard time figuring stuff out for anybody else. All right, see, just like that, 14 minutes. TJ, I have not been looking at anything on the, on the comment side. Is there anything I need to answer or talk to?

Uh, well, I'll give you a roll call if that's cool.

All right, sounds good. You're gonna pop them all up as you go?

I can do that. Okay. Um, G23 was out there. These are the most recent comments. Apparently he was having some internet trouble, but he's joined us for the evening. Uh, Fiona was laughing at something that I said. She and I have been bantering back and forth a little bit. I've been making a few comments, but so has Mike White. Uh, C&T Designs and Arms also popped through saying hello to me and to you. Let's see, back up towards the top. Gun websites. Um, something was going to be cool with him. You were out there earlier in the text chat, your own text chat on a Saturday doing double duty. And, and that brings us current.

All right, very cool. Um, oh yeah, sorry, since we were just talking on this, I, I can, I can attest Fiona has killer resting bitch face without a doubt. There, there is no question. I would— if I didn't know her, I would probably be afraid of her. So, um, so yeah, it is definitely one of those things where do what you can take care of you. Understand that you are the cure, like finding your happiness, finding what makes you better, what makes you a better person. And, um, it's definitely one of those things. All right, do I dare read this? Tomorrow's going to be a hard day. Since it will be the 7th anniversary of my niece's aunt.

Miss—

oh, what? Wait a second, I am not reading this right, am I? Tomorrow is hard since it'll be the 7th anniversary of my niece's aunt. Niece's aunt, the woman who miscarried my only child that I know of, was murdered while holding her 6-month-old. Well, that's just slightly distressing. Um, sorry, I'm not laughing at that. I, I'm laughing at Fiona's response to me saying that I would be afraid of her if I didn't actually know of her, um, because she has such amazing rich resting bitch face. So, um, that being said, um, yeah, so anniversaries of death, I'm not gonna lie, this is not something that I pay attention to in that my sister died in a car accident the week before, um, Halloween. I can't tell you what day. I think it might have been October 23rd, but that's not my thing. Here's the thing, G23, if you want to make it better for yourself, decide what you're going to focus on. So you get to choose what that means to you. You get to choose what you're going to focus on. I've lost enough people in my life right now that I really do believe that at the funeral, you are celebrating their life. You are telling the stories of their life. The reason you miss them is because they brought joy to your heart. So how do you honor that? How do you do something that is a positive influence on that and not just something that makes you sad and upset? Because my sister, senior in college, was planning on going on and being a teacher and impacting many, many children's lives by being a teacher. So instead of being upset that she's no longer here, What can I do to honor her presence? How can I help impact more kids or more education or something along those lines? And this is the problem is we get sucked into, oh, I'm so sad. And it's so sad. And I'm like, what does that do? You need to be sad. You need to be upset. Murder sucks. Suicide sucks. It's like, what can this mean and how can I make it better? And how can I make something that totally sucks and turn it into something that is awesome and spectacular? Think about all the different charities that are out there because something really bad happened. Sexual abuse, for example. The Underground Railroad. That's not what it's called. Shucks, I forget what it's called. But there's human trafficking. Children are being bought and sold every single day. Can we stop it directly? Not really, not until we have a societal change, and goodness knows children have been bought and sold since the dawn of time. But we can do things like the Underground Railroad, which I wish I could remember the right name of that, but, and help that sort of thing. So this is my thing. Oh, hello Tara. Sorry, you missed roll call. So wait, I'll throw Tara up. Cooking. You know, I think you should send me some nachos. Those nachos look good that you posted up. So I actually thought it was a birthday cake, just so you know. All right, so let's see, did I get everybody? Did I say everybody? Um, yeah, so, but again, here's the deal, dude, seriously, what does your anger get you other than pissed off and annoyed? It's like, take whatever emotions you have and turn them into something useful, because you being pissed off and angry does nothing. It makes you miserable. It makes you suffer. And the problem is, is we get addicted to that suffering because it is, oh, poor me. I've got so much to be pissed off at. Now I'm saying this because I have seen and been around the people who molested me as a child. And no, no charges have ever been brought. Yes, they're still out wandering free. Did they have power over me at some point in time? Yes, yes they did. Did it affect them in any way, shape, or form? No, it really didn't. They still went on with their lives. So all that anger you feel is poison you're taking for yourself, and you're killing yourself because anger suppresses your immune system. And literally, hatred is the only emotion that actually has a negative effect on your heart. So as you're getting mad, pissed off, and angry, remember these things: you're taking poison for yourself, and nobody should be doing that. You need to be aware of that and knock that shit off, dude. It's really not that simple, but it's not that easy, but it is actually that simple. Hate is nothing more than poison, and it's always inward. Even though you think you are paying attention to someone else and hating on them, you're not, because they don't feel it. It doesn't affect them. It doesn't matter. I wish all pedophiles would not be pedophiles, and that's as far as I'm going. Do you need your dog? Sorry, my daughter just came in. And she's taking her dog to bed because she's got volleyball tryouts tomorrow. Um, good night, Nadia. Ah, thank you, sir, I appreciate you. Operation Underground Railroad, that's what I was trying to think of that I could not figure out. So— oh wait, I'm sorry, and, uh, should I just go to, uh, Fiona since she actually said it first? Um, Let's see. What did CNT say? When I die, throw a party. All the people that hate, that hate me will, if you love me, have a better party. Oh yeah. That, that's one way to look at it. So here's the thing. Anyone who hates me, I don't care. And that's the truth of it. There are people that hate me because, and pick a reason, right? Let's see. I voted for Trump. Wait, I told someone, said that out loud. Yes, I did. Cause I'm always gonna vote for the businessman who wants to run for president. Period. End of story. Don't care about it. Uh, people hate me. Why? Oh, because I own guns. Why else do people? Oh, because I can be a real bitch. Because, you know, that does happen. Um, people who've never met me hate me because they heard something that maybe I did or didn't do. So none of that hate ever impacts me. If I hate on somebody else, that impacts me a bunch, and that is what led me to be— um, sorry, I guess we're discording like crazy right now in my household. Um, it's the hate is what led me to be suicidal. Um, as a child being sexually molested and still being around the adults and also being around the other people who did those things to me, I hated them. Like, I hated them with all my heart and soul and anger and I was so mad and angry, and all it does is eat me up. It wasn't until I found forgiveness— remember, I told you forgiveness is not about saying what they did is okay. Forgiveness is me letting go of the hate and the anger that is destroying me and destroying my life. It's not about saying whatever happened to me was okay. Or whoever it is that you're mad at. Forgiveness is my freedom. It has nothing to do with them. So funny that we should talk about this when I happen to have this on. So this is where if you happen to believe in God and the fact there is a larger group of, um, a bigger plan, if that's not proof, there's lots of things that you could decide that it was. So I will let Nadia know you said good luck. She came and left with her dog and that was that. So anyway, all right, I'm not going to put what C&T put up on the side, but it is funny. Um, as long as you have a hose and— no, yeah, we're not going to go down that road. All right, ladies and gentlemen, it is now 24 minutes. I have to go get my daughter up for her volleyball competition tomorrow morning, her tryouts. First time trying out, it's very exciting. Um, DJ, we will do our best to not hate you because you are beautiful. Um, but you know, there's only so much self-control we all can have. But all right, good night all. Have a lovely spectacular weekend. Do something for yourself. Open up your house to someone who may or may not need it, even if you don't think they need it. Offer. Thank you, CNT. Yes, I— not everybody hates me. I just know that there are people out there that I've heard hate me. So, um, but like I said, it doesn't affect me. And that's kind of my whole point is, um, we have to understand hate does not accomplish anything. Listening to others, listening to ourselves, taking care of ourselves, taking care of others. These are the things that make a difference in our lives and make the world a better place because that's what we want. And as we head into this holiday season with so many different holidays that they're out there now, but I'm just going with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. Because those are the ones I know. Um, let's just keep rolling, man, and, uh, see y'all next week because, you know, another Saturday happens 7 days from now. I'll see you guys then. Bye.