Suicide Prevention Sat

All right, I feel crooked. I'm not sure if I'm crooked, if it's the camera, or if it's just the way I'm looking at my monitor, because there's been lots of things going on here in the office lately. So I don't know if I'm more crooked or less crooked, but my monitor is straighter now, so that's all that matters to me. Welcome, replay viewers! Happy Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or whatever day you're watching this. So Although there's DJ, he's not a replay viewer. He is just, you know, he's just here. Cheers. Happy Saturday. Anyway, I was almost late to my own party and that's always bad form or not. It depends on who you are. I suppose some people believe in fashionably late. I, on the other hand, I don't know. All right. So wait. Who's tilted? Like, do I look like this way or do I— wait, hold on. Ready? See, if I do this, then I'm really tilted, right? If I go back that way, it looks flatter, at least in my brain. Oh, look at G23 coming in with the first thumbs up. All right. Yeah. And the problem with DJ's comment of tilted 5% to the right is, well, How about this? Do I turn towards my file cabinet? Oh wait, it has this way. Or do I turn towards the lamp? Because left and right means nothing. All right. Hi Mike. PNW Woods, haven't seen you in a bit. Nice to see you again, or at least see your name because I wouldn't know if I ran into you in the streets. I'm not good like that. My right. This is my right. So do I push it up on this side or I push it down on this side? Because if I reach up on my right and I push it down on my right, it goes that way. If I go this way— but we're not trying to do Blair Witch, and you know, it's close enough, I think. I hope. For sure. Maybe. I don't know. All right, um, we're not worrying about that that much. 'Cause why are we here? 'Cause it is Saturday night, 9:03, 'cause I've been blabbering about nothing. Um, no, not a political comment. Um, wait a second. Anyway, I'm gonna ignore the comments for right now and try to pay attention to y'all. I had a wonderfully full day today, which is one of the things as a business owner you really wanna have.. And I'm just not gonna lie, I'm like, it's been 2 weeks since we've been in wherever vacation, and I feel like we're just starting to get back into stuff. So for those of you wondering what the heck are we doing, it's Suicide Prevention Saturday. And why is it Suicide Prevention Saturday? Well, because I'm a gun owner. A lot of you watching are gun owners and you're human beings. So due to the fact that we are human beings and gun owners, and we believe in the sanctity of life, that is not okay to go around killing people, nor is it really okay for other people to feel so horrible about themselves that they kill themselves. Suicide Prevention Saturday is about talking about what most people call gun violence, where 2 out of every 3 deaths are actually suicide. So if we talk about suicide, because no one wants to talk about suicide, A, we do suicide prevention. Just, just all I have to do is plant that seed of that we want to do something suicide prevention-y to help bring awareness to suicide and be willing to talk about it. Because when I was a teen and I was suicidal, the best thing that happened to me was going to group counseling. And y'all are my group for my group counseling right now. But no, for real. Well, you are a little bit, but it's always good to hear other people talk about it— mental health, suicide prevention— to know that it's something that can be talked about. Because I was at a friend's funeral last week. I don't even know, time blurs. So anyway, one of my friends died, and, um, it's very sad. He was 50. So, and loved by tons. Like, you know, it is how it goes. Um, Saturday Night Fever. This is not Saturday Night Fever. Matter of fact, I feel perfectly fine. Not too hot here, just enough. So, oh yes, so just so you know, juice in a wine glass always makes it feel like it's fancier, right? So anyway, my friend's funeral. I went to his uncle's funeral many years ago, and his uncle commit— died by suicide. I'm really— it's— I'm gonna work on that. Um, many years ago. Um, so it was interesting because at my friend's funeral who did not die by suicide. I talked to one of his friends, family friends. I'm sorry, this is so convoluted. And I mentioned the uncle who died by suicide, and the person I talked to, their demeanor changed. "That's not the same thing," was something to the effect of what the person said to me regarding the uncle's death. So Suicide prevention has a long way to go. And just in case y'all didn't notice, the anti-gun folks out there are starting to talk about suicide. However, unfortunately, instead of talking about mental health and things that will actually help people prevent suicide, they're talking about more gun laws. Um, wow. All right. I'm going to try to ignore you all for a minute so I can get through a thought. So anyway, suicide reviews talked about— the title of this one is What Are People Thinking When They Commit Suicide? And my whole thing— I can't ignore you guys. You're killing me. So yes, Mr. Burger, I'm sorry. Max is busy because he shot the I-CORE regionals today, and now he has to be on his computer playing with his friends. But I'll let him know you were requesting him. Um, so anyway, so what do people think? Why do they kill themselves regardless of how they kill themselves, whether it's with a firearm, slitting their wrists, hanging themselves, jumping off large tall things? Uh, suicide by car is another thing that happens. There are lots of ways that people do these things, but the question is not so much how do they do them, but why is it that they're doing them? And the worst thing is it's because we all need a little more self-confidence. There isn't a person who's listening to this or watching this right now who doesn't struggle with self-confidence from time to time. Suicide or suicidal thoughts are usually due to the fact that our, our confidence in our worthiness has been rocked to the core, and we question whether or not we are worthy to take up the space of this chair. To inhale the air and be worthy of the air we are breathing. To me, that comes down to self-confidence. Crabby Turtle calls it despair. We all call it something different— anguish, anxiety, depression. There's lots of different ways to get there, but ultimately, when you break stuff down into little tiny pieces— because that's one of my favorite things All right, you, I'm going to start banning you, man. You're just, you're just horrible. But yes, there's lots of ways to kill yourself. There are. And no, they're not— it's not a shopping list for you. So our self-confidence really is what leads to all of those other things, because anxiety, anxiety is the fear of what could happen. Anxiety is me sitting here going like, What if I piss everyone off with the next thing that I say? That's me being afraid of what could happen. Depression often is looking in the rearview mirror and saying, oh, poor me, you know, I could poor me to death. I could say, oh, well, you know, my childhood wasn't so great, or There are things in my past that are not spectacular, so I can look in the back, and usually those are the remembrances of bad things that happen will usually weigh you down. Despair is being Eeyore. Yeah, I suppose so. We'll just have to wait and see. I mean, gotta love Eeyore and Pooh and Piglet, but What makes somebody feel that way? And here's the thing, it doesn't have to make sense to you. Part of it is just understanding that this is where people go, and it's really hard unless they're going to reach out to you and grab you and say, hey, I need you to talk to me right now. You're not going to be able to do anything for them. As horrible as that is. However, if we do stuff like Suicide Prevention Saturday, 5 million other programs that are out there let people know. Sorry, y'all are killing me, man. So Tara, I'm— Eeyore is a great friend in that he's slow and steady and he's not Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster. Like many of us are. So, you know, there's not— it's not like yours all bad. So anywho, oh, what are people thinking when they commit suicide, when they die by suicide? Not worthy. Life is too hard. Here's another one of those things that's super hard, is life is hard. Uh, getting through the hard garbage crap stuff that makes you not want to get out of bed in the morning is the stuff that makes life spectacular and worthy. The challenge is a lot of us think it's easier for someone else, and no one else has to work as hard as I do. Or maybe, you know, the people across the street have a pony and I don't have a pony, therefore my life sucks. So 'If I'm not worthy of a pony, then obviously I'm not worthy to keep walking on this earth,' right? So does any of this make sense? Kind of yes and kind of no, right? And that's the whole problem with anxiety, depression, um, uh, what do you call it, despair, um, those sort of things. So how do we fix this? Well, we talked about it, because suicide sucks. What can we actually do? We can do lots of things, but the most important thing that we can do is make sure that we, you, me, are taking care of ourselves, because if I'm tired, exhausted, cranky, I can't help you. If I'm tired, exhausted, cranky, I might get depressed or, um, anxious or that sort of thing. So number 1, take care of you, and not in a selfish, egotistical kind of way, in a nurturing— feed yourself good food, drink good lots of water, rest and sleep as much as you can, and understand what it is for you to be healthy. Because if you are healthy, you are now leading by example. And if you are healthy, you can then lead by example. Because guess what? You know that thing, lead a horse to water but can't make them drink? That's kind of life. Whether you're trying to lead someone to Jesus or lead someone away from the refrigerator, it's the same thing. If you're not walking the walk, they're not going to listen to your talk. So, um, I am— I'm trying to ignore you all, all the things you're saying over here, because barbecue, you're on fire. Maybe I don't— I'm not sad that you're missing half the time. I don't know. So anyway, so we're discussing Tara's, um, what do we got? Tara is also large, so she's be called a draft by her wife. And I have no idea what Guns and Barbecue said no-no about, or nay-nay. All right, so that's it. That's all I got for you tonight. What do people think when they're taking their lives? That they are not worthy to continue on. They are being crushed by the pain and suffering that's in their life. Sometimes it's the pain and suffering that's happening in the world. What is the point of going on? Because no one cares, no one will miss me, no one gives a damn, no one's helping me out of my problems. What else do they think? The world is a better place without them, because as far as they're concerned, nobody notices they're even there and nobody cares. So this is why so very often I will say, hey, remember that person who popped into your brain as you're driving down the road and you haven't seen them in a while, but you thought of them? Pick up the phone, call them. It doesn't take much. I just called and left a message for a friend of mine's birthday who I haven't talked to in almost 2 decades. Was he still happy to hear from me? Yes. Was he suicidal? Probably not. But we love to know other people are talking, thinking about us. And you don't know, um, You don't know who needs that phone call. And here's the kicker on this one. If you are currently suffering with lack of self-worth or depression or any of that, you reaching out to someone else to help them up makes you feel better. And this is the gift of giving, not the gift that you're giving, but the gift of giving is that when you reach out to someone else to try to help them, you're helping yourself. And it almost sounds selfish, but it's really not. It's just what we do. It's if you are not in service, whether it's service to your family, service to your friends, service to your church, service to your social group, whatever it happens to be, this is how we have worth. And this is where homelessness sometimes is a choice. Joblessness is generally a choice. And this is why the devil's hands— what is it? What is the quote? Um, idle hands are the devil's workshop. Because if you're going to work, regardless of whether it's 9 to 5, 10 to 12, whatever you're working, and you're doing stuff that's productive in your work And here's the thing, no matter what your job is, you are doing something productive. Because I was a dishwasher. Can the restaurant run without the dishwasher? No, they really can't. I muck stalls, I cleaned up poop, horse poop in a barn. Doesn't sound that glorious, but if I don't show up, I am not serving those people who need to take care of other things. So regardless of what your job, whether you're a heart surgeon or whatever, truck driver— I'm just gonna pick on Tara because she's here, uh, or, well, oh, poor Barbecue, he was a truck driver. But anyway, um, as long as we're serving, as long as we're taking care of others, when we're reaching out, we're serving ourselves. Now here's where stuff gets challenging. Some of us reach out too often and reach out and reach out and reach out and reach out and reach out, and we don't get anything in response. No one else offers to pick up our laundry. No one else offers to run to the bank for us. No one else offers to pick up our mail. No one else offers to drop grandma off at the doctor's appointment. And this is where we have to make sure we're taking care of us first. Before reaching out. So you know that I'm awful good at talking in circles, but this is the whole thing is what is the problem? The problem is people don't feel worthy. What's the solution? Oh, guess what? Do something for someone else and stop being so freaking selfish, right? Pure and simple. No problem. Save the world. All right, I'm done. Goodbye. Yeah, if only it were that simple. But just remember, take care of you, take care of others, fill your heart with whatever it is that makes you happy and joyful. Know that when you choose to serve others, that's a choice you're making. And the reason I'm kind of harping on this is because I see so many people who serve, serve, serve, and then are disappointed because no one's serving them back. And this is where we have to make sure we take care of ourselves first. So hope that helped. Let me see. Oh geez Louise, Mr. DJ, I totally forgot about that. Also, 'cause DJ's over here dropping down all the links that I should have going here the whole time. Um, Guns N' Barbecue's trying to be nice to me now. And what else? Where I know it takes, yeah, so, well, okay. So here's the thing, GT3, right? So communicate somehow. So here's the other thing, right? Ready? Here, I'll show you. These are my little smiley faces and they're sparkly 'cause I love sparkly. You know I do, my little sparklies. Yes, this is why I'm old school. I write a little note and I put it in an envelope and I send it to people. So I don't even just text people. I don't have to call them. I can write them a quick note that literally just says, hey, so-and-so, been thinking of you. Hope all is well. Have a nice day. Because who gets real mail these days? Hardly every anyone. So yeah, sorry. So this, communicate with somebody, reach out. It can be a Facebook message. It can be a phone call. It can be a text. It can be a written note. It can be a silly postcard. I sent a bunch of people— well, no, not a bunch. I sent a couple of people postcards when we were in England because who does that anymore? So now I see. And I thought Barbie was going for back for good graces, but no. Last phone call I had with him, I called him and then realized I was in a bad area and 3, 2, 1, he was gone just like that. All right. So stuff that DJ is trying to help us out with. If you need stuff, if you are in distress, please look at some of these resources. The American— yeah, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Part of the challenge is having to go backwards versus what it looks. And speaking to G2, 3 things, don't want to talk, great. You can text TALK to 741741 or dial 911. Or sorry, not 911. Wow, sorry guys, I've been in the sun all day. I'm gonna blame it on that. I'm very sleepy. Or dial 211. Uh, Miss Vanessa Kitty, how are you, hun? We really should go. You need to text me on— yeah, anyway, we will get together for lunch or something. Going to— where? How far? No, you're— never mind. Blue Trails Raid tomorrow, theoretically. All right, and one of our favorites former hosts on the show, or former guests on the show, walkthetalkamerica.org. Walk the Talk America, for those of you who have not heard of it before, there are all these cool free tools there. If you're not educated or you're not curious about, do you have anxiety, depression, postpartum, all sorts of stuff, go here. And there's this resource tab that allows you to do an anonymous self-assessment. And it asks you the questions and you answer the questions. And at the end of the quiz, just like Facebook quizzes, except it doesn't have evil tracking cookies so much, it will give you the results of where you are on the scale. Because here's the thing, we're all on the scale somewhere, whether it's how happy are we, how sad are we, how depressed are we, how anxious are we, how nervous are we, all of that. We're all how psycho— how psychopathic we are. Yes, there's all a little bit of that. All right, did I get them all? Did I get them all? Um, all right, this is evil. Um, not evil, but see, here's the thing— laughter, dude, if you're depressed, if you're sad, go watch a funny movie. Who— oh, Andrew Dice Clay, that's who came up in the conversation with Max, uh, I think on the same night that we did Sue's Our Friend Saturday last week. So for those of you who don't know, Guns and Barbecue was a truck driver, and the reason he didn't see that coming is because now he is legally blind, so he can't see as well as he used to. All right, I'm glad that G2/3 appreciated that. So Yes, I do believe that I have one. And hello, Gizzard Gary. Um, all right, so, all right, so we've got quick recap because I love summing up because then something always comes up and you guys get me for longer. But anyway, so number 1, what is suicide? Suicide is lack of worth, thinking that life is better without you, or thinking life is too stinking hard and you can't handle the pain and suffering that you're in. If you haven't watched my episode with Mario Mosen that I did, I don't know, February, March, April, somewhere in there. It's rough PTSD. For example, when you close your eyes and you're in a war zone and you open your eyes and you're still in the war zone even though you're on Main Street USA. There's lots of reasons why people will commit suicide, but it boils down to not feeling the ability to overcome whatever the challenges are, um, is, is sort of how I like to explain it. And whether that's useful or not, I'm not sure. So did I get to everybody? Andrew Dice Clay. Yeah. Um, it was just funny because I'm like, What is my 16-year-old doing quoting Andrew Dice Clay? I thought that was funny. I don't even think I can put that one up there. Just like, sorry, GT3. Um, just, I don't even know. Um, so I read it, so I'm just gonna put it up so people know what I'm, I'm pondering upon. "Can you identify as having postpartum depression if you have no idea what gender you are?" So here's the deal. There's lots of mental illnesses in the world. There's lots of things that are challenging for all of us regardless of what we call it, whether it's part postpartum depression, anxiety, depression, uh, what was it, why can't I— despair, all of that. Oh, DJ, so kind to me. There is the Mario Mosen one that we were talking about. So if you're over on the Facebook side, you can pop over to YouTube and cut and paste that in the comments, I think. Um, I don't even know. Oh wait, can I? I cannot. Um, I was gonna cut and paste it for you guys and post it, but I'm not that skillful right now. So there's lots and lots of mental health disorders, and here is one of the conversations I had with my students today. One of the terms I hate more than anything in the world is the word common sense. It's total and complete garbage. There is no such thing as common sense. I was listening to some friends of mine who are mechanics, and we were joking about when we have a screwdriver or something in our hand, it's— we all say lefty loosey, righty tighty. Right? And then someone said to me, oh, unless it's a Mopar. And then I learned, unless it's a Mopar that was built prior to 1968 or '72 or something. So common sense means that we all understand something the same way. None of us understand the same thing the same way. Um, that's why we have to be better at communication with each other and with ourselves. Common sense for me is finger off the trigger, muzzle in a safe direction. That makes sense to me. Of course, that's what everyone does. No, it is not what everyone does. Not everyone even knows that those are the safety rules when it comes to guns. So when people say, um, common sense— and yeah, what, this is what I'm saying, right? It's relative and it's subjective. And that's why it's not real, because I don't know what— there's so many things like common sense, waiting for the green light at the, um, you know, at the crosswalk before you go. You would think that's common sense, but it's like, I was just in England and I'm in England, and when you watch the lights go It goes red, yellow, green, then it goes green, yellow, red. So if you walk up to a corner and it's yellow, you have no idea if it's going to go red or green unless you were watching the previous ones. So there's so many things that people— oh well, that's common sense. I mean, you know, the anti-gun folks would be, oh, it's common sense gun laws. I'm like, nah, it's not common sense. So anyway, speaking of Mario Mosin, we were just talking about you, sir. Yes, we were talking a little bit about PTSD, how people are on the battlefield and they're off the battlefield, but they're still on the battlefield and all the different reasons why people commit suicide. So, yeah, sorry. Take this off. All right. Is it time for the ending? I don't know, Mike, what do you want? All right, so I was doing the recap. It was why do people kill themselves? Because they can't handle what's going on. They don't have any self-worth. They don't see a way out. The pain is too great. That is the beginning part. Then why do we do this? We do this so that people will know that we should be talking about mental health. We should be talking about suicide. It should not be shoved in the corner in the closet that nobody wants to go into because it's some horrible sin. It's— does it suck? Yes, it does. How do we fix it though? The only way we can fix stuff is we talk about it and figure out how to help it. Um, uh, Yes, actually. So GT3 also has Mario Moe's and Mike from Walk the Talk America. That's what WTTA is, and he's actually the reason how I got Mario onto mine. Um, all right, so Mike, did I catch you up? So yeah, so why do people do it? Because things suck. Why do we do Suicide Prevention Saturday? So we talk about suicide prevention so people know they're not alone. Also, I will try to be better about the whole giving you guys resources because September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. So I was hoping to be a little more robust this year or this month, but I'm not going to lie. I feel like I haven't stopped running since I hit the tarmac in Boston from England 2 weeks ago. So what else is there? Oh yes. And cheers to everyone. Because juice in a wine glass always makes it seem so much fancier. So, all right, what else? Is there anything else? There's always something. Um, maybe I will try to do a couple more of those interviews where I talk to people like Mario. Um, TikTok, TikTok. Uh, all right, so here we go. So Mario and I talked about this on his thing. So why they do it, because they feel alienated, not part of a team. So one of the things that Mario and I talked about on our interview, and I'm pretty sure on D23s, and also when I do my work and I'm talking with people like Chris from Aiming for Zero, the military forces do an amazing job of creating this group. Into a cohesive group, and everybody's relying on everybody else. And they're like this for years, generally a minimum of like 4 years, right? Um, and they go into combat, and they've got everybody together, and they're there. And then they're done, and they're off on their own. They no longer have that backup. They no longer have that society. They no longer have the folks that understand them. But most importantly, I don't know, and Mario, maybe I should just pop you on here now. And it's just one of those things where it's just like you're lost and you don't have any footing and you can't find your way back. And there's this huge hole. It's like, I've got friends, oh my goodness, they've lost their husbands already. I'm only 50 years old. I'm in my 50s. I'm more than 50. But when we lose stuff, when we lose our loved ones, it's really hard to fill that hole. And we don't really fill it, right? We just find new things that help us feel better. But yeah, and one for all, all for one. And you're, you're bougie. Am I bougie? Did I get bougie? What did I do? So, oh, all right. So anyway, there we go. Here, I'm gonna see— I should just pull Mario on. I'm like, here, Mario, I'll send you the link. So yeah, so you get into military, you become a tribe, you've got someone who's got your back. The— now, to be fair, like, y'all know I am not military, but like, the way I've had people explain it to me is you have your job and you know what your job is and you have to do your job and you expect the people around you to do their jobs and that's how you're successful whether it's in battle or not. And then you come out and just like, okay, here you go. And honestly, one of the other things that I study— or sorry, pay attention to— is the recidivism rate that we have. And in jail, you've got your meals and your lodging all taken care of, and people get out of jail and they can't handle it, and they purposely bust parole to be thrown back in jail. Not the same as suicide, obviously, but it's sort of that mentality of, okay, here's everything all put together, everything's taken care of, we've got this. And then poof, they kick you out and they don't have any support system and it's just crazy. So why do people commit suicide? Lots of reasons. How do they do it? Lots of, lots of ways. But if we don't talk about it, if we don't bring awareness, there's lots of things. Share any of the things that we have whatever it's called that DJ has shared. So Active Heroes Aiming for Zero. So yeah, let me clarify this too though. ActiveHeroes.org does a ton of stuff. They do burpee challenges, rucksack races, video gaming, all sorts of different ways to raise money for their campus. Aiming for Zero is specifically the gun competition arm of them, where we go and have gun competitions to raise money and awareness for our heroes, our veteran suicide problem. When we started this, 2013, '14, time is a blur. The older you get, the blurrier it gets. So 2013, '14, somewhere in there, and it was 22 veterans a day. And probably the most impactful statement that Chris ever did was we have a safety brief at the beginning of the match, and he asked 22 veterans to come up and stand there in front of the group of 225 people. And he's like, see all these people? Tomorrow, this is how many people will be dead. This is how many veterans we're losing every single day. And, um, and it's just like when you physically see it, it's just, it's definitely heart-wrenching because when you see 22 a day, it's a number. But when you line up 22 veterans and say, this is how many are leaving tomorrow, will not wake up the next day, this is 22 families that are being affected because of veteran suicide. So, um, numbers are numbers, and our veterans definitely— I don't know, because they serve our country, it just seems like it should be a bigger deal. And there are tons of veteran suicide prevention programs out there, but the problem is I think there's a typo in Mario's next comment, but the problem is, is if I were a veteran, if I were in crisis, if I already feel like shit and I am distressed, my ability to reach out and find help is generally really low. So, um, all right, well, I cannot figure this out. Another reason why most people cannot T. I don't know if T is a special word for something, I have no idea. So relate to do is due to very few serve. Well, right, so, huh. All right, sorry, I'm reading along and commenting at the same time. So if one dies, very few don't care because they don't see the impact, right? And this is the thing for me, it's like I didn't serve, but I definitely see the impact for sure. It's not— anyone dies, it's, it's a tragedy. It's— this is the thing that kills me going to DC and stuff and having to go talk about a Parkland shooting, a Vegas shooting, any of it, it's like, it's all horrible. No matter how someone dies because of a firearm or because of a heart attack, a family has lost someone and that's always dramatic and sad as far as I know. I know there's some times when people will start singing Ding Dong the Witch is Dead, but for the most part, it's trauma for someone. Because no matter who dies, there's someone's kid. There's someone's kid. And if their parents aren't around, chances are they're someone's parent or something along those lines. Sorry, we're not getting into cloning conversations right now. So, uh, there you go, guys. Went on a whole 40 minutes. Mike, do you feel better now? You know, one for all and all for one. So you got more than just the ending. I did the recap. Mario got to do a bunch of chattiness to keep me going as well. And like I said, this month is Suicide Prevention September, and it's raise awareness and that sort of stuff. So I will see if I can do more for you guys in the additional 2 weeks— weeks— 2 additional 2 Saturdays that we have for this month. And, um, that will be that. So thanks for popping in, thanks for dropping your likes, subscribes, all that fun stuff, and I will see you all next Saturday, hopefully, um, with more resources for you. And as always, feel free to drop me a note, a message, etc., if there's anything in particular And this is another way that you could look at someone if they're worthless, used, painfully numb, walking through a daydream, detached, functioning on autopilot, loss of interest, loss of care. Yeah, these are all things that would describe someone who is despondent. Now, just because someone has all these feelings also does not mean they're gonna commit suicide, but you want to try to help get them out of that. And the worst part of it is, is you can't. You can put your hand out, but if they're not going to take your help, there's nothing you can do. And this is where we get into survival guilt, which is a whole nother animal. Um, so, uh, best thing anyone do is just talk to someone who's served and let them get to know you and vice versa, right? So like for Aiming for Zero, I've always been on the call list if someone needed to call, and, you know, I've not got a call. And most of the guys say, oh well, if you're not military, they're not going to talk to you anyway. But like Mario says, if someone feels like someone cares, who knows, you might get to know you and help someone, right? And you don't know, you just never know what you're doing says or do, because like every Saturday night Let's talk about confidence. There are times where I'm just like, should I really come on Saturday night? Do y'all really care? Does it really matter? Am I making a difference? And all I have to do is remind myself of that one dude, that one dude, literally probably 2 or 3 years ago, who said, Brooke, in your 15-minute thing, you gave me more to think about than my counselors, my 3 counselors over the past 6 months, right? So if each one of us can reach one person, then we can make a difference. And I'm not trying to cry, I'm just really that tired actually right now. So, um, each one reach one, and you're the first person you have to reach though to make sure you are not worthless, you're not used, or painfully numb, and you're not detached, functioning on autopilot. You want to make sure that you are taking care of you. Oh yeah, and I totally forgot tomorrow— well, did I totally forget? No, I didn't forget, but tomorrow is September 11th. We all know what happened on September 11th, because on September 12th, everybody in America was flying their flags and came together, as America should do on a regular basis, And I don't know if it's because I'm on the East Coast and really close to New York City, but it was very impactful for everyone, I'm pretty sure. So yeah, there is tomorrow, but here's the thing. All right, so here I'm gonna be devil's advocate. Oh, all right, sorry. Um, maybe it's a hard day, or maybe it's a day for remembering, or maybe it's doing something that makes a positive impact that helps people remember why it's so good to be an American. So yes, it's a massive tragedy. Huh. When my sister got killed in a car accident her senior year in college, we said, what's good about this? So if you can take something that's a tragedy and ask what's good about this, my first answer was that it united a country that had not been united for a really long time. And sure as heck, I am not suggesting we need another tragedy, but it would be really awesome if we could do something to unite our country a little bit better. So, uh, back to Mario because he's being all chatty right now. Um, the worst thing is not picking up the phone of a battle buddy. 2 hours later, he killed himself. Yeah. So survivor's guilt, that totally sucks because could you have helped him? Would your phone call have made a difference? Here's the thing, no one's gonna know, and it's your choice if you're gonna feel guilty about it. And as cold and heartless as I feel like that sounds, it's kind of it. It goes back to the what is good about this. It's like, okay, does this mean every time from now on you're always going to pick up your phone every single time? I don't know, does it? Maybe. Um, oh gosh. All right, so Mario, so he killed himself in front of his house and his wife found him on the driveway. Well, that totally sucks. And this also goes through the other part of, honestly, I find what I understand about suicide is that it is one of the most selfish things you can do. You're taking the easy way out, sort of, and you're leaving a wake of destruction behind you because now they were going through a separation. So now the ex-wife, right, or estranged wife is also going to wonder, is it her fault that he killed himself? And the answer is always no. It's never— it's not Mario's fault. Because for picking up— not picking up the phone. It's not the wife's fault. The person who kills themselves is 1,000% responsible for their death, and it's just brutal. But that's how I see it, and it's one person's opinion, and you can disagree with me all you want. But when I was suicidal— sorry, um Yeah, so Mario remembers September 11th because 7 months later he was in Iraq. Um, and, uh, no, Mario, you don't have to shut up, go to bed, dude. You're on the West Coast, it's like 6:30 over there, so don't you shush. But, um, so yeah, so anyway, this is the other challenge is because we don't talk about suicide and we don't work on helping people. Can we save all the lives? No, we can't save all the lives. Can we save some of them? Yes, yes we can, but we are not doing the saving. If I am suicidal and you're trying to help me and I don't decide that I need to change, this is no different than an addict, right? Um, oddly enough, I have a feeling most all of us have dealt with addicts, right? Whether it's alcohol, drugs, cleaning. I love those cleaning addicts, but no, it's a horrible thing actually. But here's the thing, the person with the problem, the person who pulled the trigger, another veteran I know— sorry, a friend of mine knows— he poured a gas, a gallon of gas on himself and lit himself on fire. PTSD is a horrible thing. And it's just one of those things where just like, what can you do to slay the demons in their heads? And the truth is maybe you can lead them to water, but they have to decide to drink. They have to take the help. Like Mario not answering the phone call— well, here's the thing, the dude could have called someone else and someone else and someone else. If they wanted to live, they will find a way. Did I kill myself as a teen? No, obviously I didn't, because here I am talking to you about suicide prevention. Did I want to kill myself? Not sure about that. It was— I had a plan. I knew how to make my suicide look like an accident, which also begs the difference to me of, did we ever— sorry. You know, I had a plan to make it look like an accident, so if I killed myself, no one would actually know. So I was trying to be a thoughtful suicide person, um, because like the thing that Mario was talking about where he killed himself in his own home, so his wife, estranged wife, had to come home to that, that just seems mean. I mean, the guy is dead, so that's horrible, but it's just the, the aftershock of suicide. And when I was suicidal, it was because I didn't think I was worth the air that I was breathing. So, uh, like GT3 Mario, hope you're still here. Thanks again for your service. Um, and what else? Yeah, Vanessa Kitty. And here's the thing, too many suicides in a family tree. Here is another challenge. The Reynolds family, that's my, uh, maiden name. Tons of suicide in our family, but does anyone talk about them? No. Sort of like nobody's talking about addiction and all the problems that we're currently having here in America. Addiction, violence, everything is going through the roof over the last 2 years. And now I'm not really trying to berate things, I'm just being real. Right? Isn't that what the excuse we use when we're being a jerk? Um, but I don't understand why being in one house with an addict matters. I have no idea. Um, so anywho, I've gone on and on and on. This is the longest one yet, and here I thought I was going to go to bed early. So it's Mario's fault. No, you don't have to go to bed, Mario. So anyway, this is my opinion. And yeah, this is exactly it, is suicide is taboo for most people. And I forget that because I'm doing this every week with you guys, and you guys engage and you respond and tell me stuff. And I talk about it freely because I just remember that first group counseling that I went to and sitting in a room with other people that had other mental health issues, whether it was anxiety, depression, bipolar, Those seem to be the most common. Why was I there? Oh yeah, because I had a plan on how to kill myself, and that wasn't normal. Remember back to that common sense conversation we were having earlier? It was my normal. I didn't— it was my normal to know how to kill myself, make it look like an accident so no one would know that I killed myself. And yeah, G2, 3, and I still have to get together because G2, 3 was suicidal. And I don't know the age because we haven't talked about that part, but, um, so God gave him another shot versus letting him follow through with his plan. I finally talked to a counselor which said, oh yeah, by the way, having a plan to kill yourself is not normal. But from age 13 It was totally my normal. So anyway, with that, I'm gonna let Mario have the last thing. This is why we do Suicide Prevention Saturday. So maybe we can break some of those taboos, get some more people willing to talk about it, and save some lives. Not all of them, but maybe some of them. All right, good night all. See you next week.