Suicide Prevention Sat - Imperfect Progress - the lights are never all green

And here we are, just like that. One more Saturday night. And since G-Webs is actually here, and he finally got to be here for a live stream again, because it's been a minute. Usually he pops on at the end these days. And— oh wait, no, don't put you in timeout. Hi, Moo, how are you? So, Patriot, I swear I saw a comment from you, but yeah, I am psychic as well. That's, you know, I'm one of those people who will call you or you'll call me just because I thought of you kind of thing. Yes, that. But anyway, all right, it is Suicide Prevention Saturday. Why? Because as gun owners, we need to remember that 2 out of every 3 gun deaths that the CDC tells us about are actually suicides. So if we truly want to help save lives, we need to actually work on mental health. And funny, after all of these years of looking into this sort of stuff, violence prevention, mental health, that sort of thing. They're actually kind of the same thing because violence comes from lack of communication with those around you. Mental health problems come from lack of communication with yourself. If we worked on communication, we could do a lot of things. Um, so anyway, sorry, I've been out in the woods and I'm itchy because I've had bugs and stuff. So I'm pretty sure they're all gone, but I don't know. It is, uh, —what is it—mosquito season around here because it doesn't want to stop raining and August is normally our driest, dry area. All right, so 2 out of every 3 gun deaths, suicide. And here's the other part of this, always, is that if we focused on suicide, we could save so many more lives because we wouldn't be helping just the folks who choose to use a gun when they do that sort of thing to themselves. So we could do a big impact if people really want to talk about mental health. So that is why I show up here, and that is why you guys show up here. So I want to thank you all for being here. And what did I talk about tonight? Well, I think I said something about expectations, because so often I'm gonna— I'm gonna— DJ is here with me, and I'm going to push the little thing so I stop looking at your comments because I'm going to try to stay focused so that I'm not here rambling for like 30 minutes. I can ramble later, but for right now— so DJ is in charge if there's anything I need to know. All right, so let's talk about expectations. Um, one of my biggest challenges is what I call analysis paralysis, and, uh, it's that sort of thing of, well, when this happens then I will be happy, or something along those lines. And one of the most useful, I don't know, things that someone said to me just sort of stuck in my head was, the lights are never always green. And I'm like, what are you talking about? So when you get up in the morning, and assuming you have to drive to work, except for Barbecue because he can't drive, but most of us can drive to work, or Patriot for that matter since he's here too. But anyway, you get up in the morning, you hop in your car, and you go to the end of your driveway. You do not sit there until all the lights on your route are green. And if we did, we would never leave home, and that would be bad because we need to go to work to make money, to do things, probably shopping, feed ourselves, stuff like that. However, so many of us will be like, well, when I get XYZ, then I will do ABC. So, and the reason I'm using alphabet versus actual things, I'm gonna give you a real example. So right now I am currently in birthday month. Yesterday was my actual birthday, but we really do like birthday month. We start with presents randomly throughout the month cuz it's more fun that way. So yesterday I got flowers and, and ice cream cake and stuff like that. And last week I got an espresso machine, which has been fun because I'm highly caffeinated right now. So, um, but here's the thing, it's birthday week or birthday month because we do like birthday month, and I'm really noticing that I'm putting off the things that I need to do on a daily basis. So for those of you who watch my channel on a regular basis, you sort of know that we are doing the dry fire challenge right now. And I am practicing on a daily basis, most of the time, days, with dry fire and putting up a video regarding that. So that's one thing I am doing. However, when it comes to health and well-being, one of the things I should do is go to bed at a good hour. DJ, sleep is very important for your health. You know, DJ doesn't sleep. For those of you who don't know him, he sleeps but not on a regular basis. So calling you out on that one. But anyway, so I'm not going to bed on a regular basis because we don't have to get up super crazy early. So I'm like, oh, when school starts, then I will go to bed on a regular basis. And then the other one is, well, I'm supposed to work out 3 days a week with my daughter. She got injured, so I let her injury be why I didn't go to the gym, which is not cool. I mean, I love my gym buddy. I do. But just because she was injured, there was no reason for me not to go. So I'm like, oh, when she gets better, then I will go. So we are very good at making those if-then statements. And do you know why that is? It's because we are very much creatures who do not like change, no matter what it is. Um, I actually was talking to a student last week, and it was an interesting conversation. She came from an abusive home in that her dad beat her, her brothers and sisters, and her mom on a regular basis. Now here's the weird part of this, sort of, is that we were talking about how important it is to have a dad in the home, and by the time she was 10 or 11, her dad left the home. Now wouldn't you expect that everything would be better because you no longer have that abusive dad in the house? Most of us would. However, her story was just the opposite of what you expect. Once the father figure was out of the house, all the kids went nuts. And when I say nuts, I mean like off the rails, not paying attention, getting kicked out of school, getting heavier into gangs and that sort of stuff. And so Oh, when things change, we never know how it's actually going to change, so we don't like that uncertainty. Now, as humans, we have our expectations, right? There's this thing called Maslow's Law, and I'm not going to get into all of it, but the short version is: first we need water, food, right? Then we need shelter, then we need clothing, Who knew it was in that order? But once those basic needs are met, then we can grow and do things differently. But here's our challenge. We have what is essentially a thermostat in our head for what our normal is. And they say 72 degrees is where we like our normal. So if your 72 degrees is your father coming home and beating you on a regular basis, as horrible as that sounds, The reality of it is when that's your normal and that gets taken away from you, things can go really well or really badly. And that's an extreme, extreme example, right? So my excuse, like I said, it's birthday month. I don't have— I can eat all the cake I want. No, not really. Oh, my daughter hurt her knee, so that means I don't have to exercise. No, not really. But I'm doing what's comfortable for me versus pushing hard. And here's the thing, you and I both know the stuff that we do that we don't want to do, that is the stuff that makes us better. That is the stuff that makes us proud of the decisions that we've made. So I have a whole bunch of things. So those are my show notes. I told DJ I actually had notes, but DJ, I'm going to take a second And I'm going to let you do the roll call and pop up whoever I didn't say hi to, or you get to say hi to them as well, however you'd like to roll next.

I'd like to start on the Facebook side with Michael Bellinger. He's up on your screen right now. And on the YouTube side, we've got G23 in early, the other G that's usually here, G Webs. Good to see him. Uh, 2 Live Moo is out there, so is Patriot in the Dark. And, uh, we'll hold on for others that will join later. Is that your real call? All right, sounds good.

Um, yeah, so G-Webs, I don't know if you saw, I actually went and put an order in. So, um, hopefully you'll be sending me stuff soon. I don't remember what I ordered. I ordered sticker pack, I know that, but I was only allowed to order one because I was going to order two, but I couldn't. Um, so anyway, um, one of the other things that I have for you guys tonight is that I have a bunch of sayings and I just wanted to share them with you. Because oddly enough, they help in my teaching, but they also help my learning, and they've been helping in my dry fire. So one of the biggest things I talk about in my classes is you don't know what you don't know. So many people come to class and they're like, wow, I didn't know there was so much to shooting. And she's like, yes, it's true. So there is lots of things when it comes to shooting. And there's lots of things when it comes to lots of things. The other part, one size never fits all. Now I know G-Webs is here and he will insist that a.45 will fit anyone. However, there is no perfect gun for anyone. There might be a perfect gun for you, but not necessarily for the person sitting next to you. So one of the things we try to talk about here is that I will tell you like something that works for me. Like I did the 75 Hard like 2 years ago. It was awesome. I'm having a really hard time coming back and trying to do it again, but having a checklist really works for me. But that doesn't mean it works for you. Let's say if I can scroll them without making you guys get dizzy, Blair Witch Project. And if you haven't seen that, it will make you dizzy for sure. All right. Here's something we all need to know, especially as Second Amendment advocates, as well as people, human beings in general. There's always another way to look at something. So we have our normal, we have the way we see things. Like there's someone like DJ out there who sleeps once in a while if he feels like it, kind of, sort of. And then there's someone like me who, if I didn't get to sleep every single night, I think I would be mean. And DJ is not mean. So, uh, points of view. There's always another way. Um, what you're familiar with is what allows you to create your normal. What I'm familiar with allows me to create my normal. It's like, I don't kill things as much as I can possibly, uh, not kill things. Mosquitoes and ticks are like the two things that I will absolutely kill without thought, but pretty much anything else I really don't want to. So here's another one, super important. And for those of you people who still watch the news, don't do it because you get more of what you focus on. If you're watching the news, unfortunately you're focusing on the bad stuff in the world. So yeah, so mosquitoes and ticks, beware. Yes, I am a killer of mosquitoes and ticks without a doubt. And honestly, ticks are stupid hard to kill. Holy smolies. So yeah, getting more of what you focus on. Here's the thing we don't realize. So often our focus goes on something like the news, which is death, dying, destruction, bad people doing bad things all the time. However, if we focus on what's good for my brain, what's good for my body, what's good for my family, the people that I care about— when we focus on those things and we realize what actually affects our life on a daily basis, It is way better. Oh, here's one of the ones that come in for my dry fire, but I think it comes in with just about anything else that you do. The harder you try to go faster, the more likely they are to have to do it over again. So I was typing something today and I was trying to type it quickly and I messed up like every other word because I was trying to go fast. So if I had just taken my time the first time, I would have done it better. Now, I did a dry fire challenge today. What I did was the classifier for IDPA, and I went crazy fast. I didn't do good though. Um, oh my goodness, sorry. See, this is why I usually— I'm like, cattle shooting? I don't know anything about cattle shooting. Um, but I don't watch the news, so that's why I don't know these things. But back to the harder you try to go fast, the more likely you are to have to do it over again. I can't say how many times I've tried to do something quickly, like something even as simple as putting keys into a door or into, you know, jump in the car, you wanna go trying to get the keys in, then you can't get it cause you're trying to do it quickly. If you slow down just a tiny bit, then you can and get it where you want it to go because that was the other thing. With the shooting that I did today. I went super fast, and if I'd slowed down just a little bit, I would have got a much better score. So, all right, um, oh yeah, ready? And here's the opposite thing, and this has to do with shooting as well, but sometimes you need to go faster to slow down. Here's one of the wonderful things I've learned from my— one of my coaches. And sometimes you need to go faster than you think you can to realize what your potential actually is. And I will give you my shooting example because what it was is finding that happy medium between going so fast you're not doing a good job hitting where you want, to going so slow you've got perfect shots but you could definitely go faster. And what I learned in training was if I go as fast as I can then I realize I'm like, oh, where I need to be is actually a little bit faster than where I am. So sometimes going faster is easier. And I don't know, DJ, what do you think? Going faster, slower when you're learning a new song? Is it good to like try to go with the beat versus trying to learn it slow?

What do you think? I always encourage myself and others to take it slow when you're learning something new, making sure that you have the steps in order sometimes is difficult enough, let alone knowing what those steps are. And you think that that would be kind of obvious. This begets this, and that leads to this in order to create the conclusion and the skill that you want to dial in. But if you take yourself, if you're a little bit easier on yourself than expecting to be able to meet the tempo of that which you're trying to imitate, probably going to come upon that success a little bit slower, but a little bit more completely in the end. Very cool.

All right. Well, I like Moo. Because, you know, I like— well, this is the other thing. We like people who are like us. And I have a list. I have a book that tells me lists and it breaks it down. See if I can find the right one. So my book has lists, priorities, and then 3 tasks to get whatever those priorities are done. And then at the end of the day, I have to write, what did I appreciate today? Today I will avoid. Today I get to enjoy. And today's theme is— so, oh, that reminds me of one more thing. There's always one more thing. Um, oh, poor Gwebs. How did he lose internet? That's just not right for Gwebs to ever lose internet. But, um, I get to— that is a huge mind shift. And I forget again who told me this. However, like doing the dishes. Instead of saying, oh, I have to go do the dishes, it's like, I get to go do the dishes. And it's like, what? Nobody wants to get to do the dishes. I'm like, well, yeah, because it's a blessing that you have dirty dishes, because if you have dirty dishes, that means you had food. If you had food, that means that you were fed, and maybe you or somebody else knows how to cook, or maybe you took it out, you know, cereal, but whatever. There are blessings in everything that we have to do. And if we change our mental speak to, I get to, like, all right, I'm going to show you all, ready? Oh, it's bad. So here's my messy, messy classroom right now. And I will tell you that tomorrow there are going to be 6 brand new people in here and they'll have seating by then. So when I'm done with you guys, I get to clean up my office, so that I can teach people how to be safe with firearms. So I get to have the pleasure of cleaning. And do I love cleaning? No. Do I remind myself it's a blessing every time I get to do it? I try. So, um, and so anyway, all right, DJ, half a dozen— what about half dozen of the other? Are you saying that he's supposed to do 12 things versus his 6 things?

Well, he was talking about 6 things, so 6 of one, a half a dozen of the other. I was just trying to poke Moo in the ribs long distance.

Oh gosh, I'm like, I'm a little bit slow sometimes. I don't always get these things. So, all right, well, G-Webs, I'm sorry you're having internet problems because that always stinks. And, uh, but you know, we're pretty much done. Uh, DJ, you got anything else?

I've tried to learn some— this was not intentional, but it kind of dovetails into the topic for tonight and one of the ways that you started off. You don't know what you don't know. Well, apparently I don't know everything that I think I do on the guitar. And what I thought I had figured out with the song, the progression was right, but I was in the wrong key. So sometimes even when you get those steps right, it might not be the way it's supposed to come out in the end. And, you know, I could go into how it's a journey, you know, it's part of the process. The journey is the thing. There's nothing more frustrating to me sometimes when I'm trying to pick something out, I think I've got it nailed, and then I identify, or sometimes more embarrassingly, someone else recognizes the flaw in the system that I've developed or in the presentation I'm offering. I don't mind if people are critical of the things that I do, particularly if it helps me to improve my performance.

Go ahead. Well, no, I was just saying, it's like I tell people all the time, it's like the reason they pay me money to watch them shoot is so that I can see something that they cannot. And that's why we all need our coaches. And I still get training as much as I can. And it's like, you're, you're one of my coaches because on Wednesday you're like, hey, hey, where's that dry fire? I'm like, oh yeah, huh? I should go back to that.

No doubt. And it's good to have encouragement and suggestions from the people that we already know, trust, love in a lot of cases. And that makes it a little bit easier. It can be really difficult to take criticism from a stranger regardless of how constructive it is. And that kind of, you know, having a thin skin isn't always a useful thing. And mine is sometimes, unfortunately, more thin than I would like it to be. But you get used to, you know, not just the people you trust, but you see some, maybe some observations from others that you don't know quite so well. And when those start to click together, it's just like, oh yeah, my friend knew me, you know, that much better than a stranger does. But a stranger can see that as well. So hey, I'm not yet, uh, I'm not yet through that, that journey or whatever.

Well, I mean, it's one of these things where it's like, uh, husbands and wives or boyfriends and girlfriends will ask, oh, can we do a class together? I'm like, no, I prefer you not to because we may love someone else, but it's just like, for me, my husband is an amazing teacher, he's an amazing shooter. I am just not a good student for him because I don't want to look like a fool in front of my husband. But I take some of my other instructor friends who I also love and respect, and I'm like, they can tell me what to do all day long and it's not, not a problem at all. So yes, sometimes it is, it is the delivery or how closely someone knows us. And I will say hi to Vanessa Kitty since I saw her pop on just a few minutes ago.

And I wanted to add that unless it's in a specific context, you know, it takes somebody's name tag or, uh, you know, their department printed on a smock in a hospital or something. Most people don't wear who they are or what they can do so much on the outside as we may think. So there are a lot of hidden skills, talents, and abilities that don't always present themselves when we're getting to know somebody. And so sometimes when we offer— and I find myself doing this a little bit more frequently than I should— when we offer what we think is some constructive criticism, and we find out that person not only knew that, but they knew it long before we ever could have detected it. And so to have a little bit of grace when accepting those criticisms is something I'm still working on.

Yeah. Well, Mario popped in now too. That'll be two nights in a row we've said hi to Mario because if y'all didn't miss— catch it yesterday, Mario and I did a random August live birthday thing because Monday is Mario's birthday. Lots of August baby birthdays. August. Yeah. Anyway, that All right, well, with that, I don't know what we're doing next week, but maybe I'll post something up sooner versus later. Uh, I did do, uh, a classifier today. It wasn't pretty, and, um, I will have to get that up later on tonight after I finish cleaning though, because I really do need to get ready for my students instead. So