Suicide Prevention Sat - Just be kind

All right, hello everybody. It is Suicide Prevention Saturday. It is Saturday night, 9 PM Eastern, theoretically. We have thunderstorms rolling through, so if all of a sudden I go away, it means we lost power and internet. I just figured I'd start with that one just in case. Um, wow, I'm all excited. There's like 7 whole people watching right now. I just got off the Play Society podcast and over at the Second Amendment Foundation. With Paul Lathrop and a couple other folks. Tonight, what are we gonna talk about? Oh wait, why are we all here? Because suicide sucks, and because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides. So my goal as a human being is to make the world a little bit better by A, if you're suicidal, know you are not alone. Oh, DJ, roll the thing. Um, B, if you know someone who is suicidal, give them resources like this that they can reach out to. And see, if you know someone who's suicidal who won't reach out for themselves, you can reach out for them. You can call 211 to get help. Now here's the cool thing about 211 that I think a lot of people don't know is that 211 not only will hook you up with a counselor if that's what you need, but maybe you need your oil bill paid or something along those lines and you have other hardships 2-in-1 is great for that sort of stuff too. All right, so what is today? It's Kinda. Be kind, what'd I say? Uh, kind. Uh, yeah, just be kind. There we go. I'm like looking at what the heck I called this this week. So kinda what? Well, here's the thing. You being kind to me, like showing up and supporting me and watching this, is always helpful. We cannot control the world. We cannot control what happens in the world. What we can control is how we react to it. And in today's day and age, one of the things you're going to hear about all the time is AI. What is AI? Artificial intelligence. Well, we got so smart as humans, we started teaching our machines around us to be smarter than we are. So AI is always watching. Right now there is some AI listening to this program, even if they don't show up in the who's watching, and they're going to hear me talk about being kind to one another. We want to be kind because someone's always watching. Now I know when I was a kid I was taught act as if people are watching even when they're not. Be the person who you really are regardless of whether anyone is watching. Unfortunately, in today's day and age, there's always someone watching. And it's one of those things where I watch a little bit of YouTube here and there, and it's usually educational stuff. And can you tell I've been watching the stuff about artificial intelligence over the last couple days? So compassion— it's like, what do we learn online? Do we learn compassion, or do we get to learn about people tearing other people apart? Well, AI is like a little child and we're teaching it our behavior when we're online. So regardless if you're in person or online, be kind because it's way better if we show people a good positive world versus the hateful angry world. Now, can we make everything unicorns and fairy dust? No, we cannot. Would we like to? Maybe, but even unicorns have sharp horns, so maybe we don't want to. I don't know. So my goal for today is talk about kindness. How can we be kinder to ourselves and then to others? Because one of the things I found when I was being bullied, and one of the best lessons my mom ever taught me, was if someone is picking on you, chances are they see something in you that they are actually jealous of. Is that always true? No. But when you're a little kid getting bullied, that is a great belief to have. So when I see bullies, when I see people who are being mean, I just look at them and I'm like, huh, they're missing something because they need to try to make someone else feel bad in order to make themselves feel good. And the truth of the matter is you are in control of making you feel better. I'm in control of making me feel better. You guys here watching make me feel better because you're here watching. Speaking of that, DJ, I think it might be time for a roll call because I'm not looking at the comments to try to stay on track.

Yeah, and you're doing an incredible job, and I like what you're talking about today. I also like the people showing up in the chat, like the Krabby Turtle. On the YouTube side— or sorry, Facebook side— we have Gina Roberts is out there as well, and Riding Shotgun with Charlie. So Charlie is out there.

Oh man, Charlie, you and I, we gotta get back to Detroit next year. Yeah. So anyway, that's a whole nother thing. But actually I'll bring that up. So Charlie Cook and I went to Detroit last year around this time. It was actually in July and we got to teach a whole bunch of women for free. Now Charlie and I do what we do because we love it and no one pays us to do it. We do it out of our own pockets. And so to take your time, which is the most precious thing that you have, and take your finances, which, you know, they come and go, um, they go much easier than they come, and fly out to a city just so you can teach people for free. That's doing something kind, and it's so fulfilling. And so many, uh, of the stories of the women that we got to meet— Charlie, if you think of it, put down some of the, um, the links to your Riding Shotgun with Charlie if you happen to know what any of the Detroit ladies were, because I know he interviewed ladies so you could get an idea of how the women felt that we were giving of our time and they got to shoot for the very first time. I did watch that interview and it's very cute, so y'all should check it out if Charlie can find the link. All right, so what else? Oh, Gina Roberts! Oh dude, you so have to make it to Detroit next year. It'll be like a big family get together. Gina's either in Texas or Arizona or California. I don't know, she moves around a lot. I never know where she is, but I'm always happy when she can make it live. All right, be kind, be nice. AI is watching. We're teaching a brand new intelligence how to act. We should act as responsible parents and teach them compassion and love. Now, is it easy to do that? No. I turned to the Bible because in the Bible God said, love thy neighbor. And here's my thing that I love about that. God did not say I had to like my neighbor. He said I had to love on my neighbor. So I could have the crankiest, crabbiest, nastiest neighbor in the world, and I just have to remember to have love and compassion for them. Even if I don't actually like their behaviors. I think we're going to go from God to Tony Robbins. Ready? So one of the most important things Tony Robbins taught me was that if someone does something wrong, let's say there's someone you love and, um, or a really, really good friend, and they do something absolutely horrible, um, I don't know, steal your lunch money That's all I can think of off the top of my head. You still love the person, you don't like the action that they took. And a lot of us have a hard time— oh, the dog's gonna take out the lights— a lot of us have a hard time splitting those things apart. If I say something here online that offends you, like, oh, we don't want to talk about God, um, but I'm talking about God, you can still love me and support me and just know there's something I did that you didn't like. Or it's just another way to look at it. It's, what could this mean if I say something that you don't like? Is it because I'm trying to be malicious, or is it I just don't understand why someone doesn't like that thing? Or I certainly don't. I've said things that people think I'm being malicious, and I had no idea I was saying stuff that was malicious. This is what I have a husband for, because sometimes he's more educated than I am on these things, and that's when I get kicked under the table. But to separate an action from a person, and that's how you can love cranky, angry people or bullies and have compassion for them. You don't have to agree with their actions, but you can still look at them as a human being that needs love and compassion, because we all need love and compassion. We all need our tribes, and we love being around the people who are like us. However, we can be very challenged when we're in rooms with people that we don't agree with, that which I go to the Capitol all the time. So I know what that's like. And, but I still want to listen to what they have to say because the people who I don't agree with, if I talk and actually listen to them and they know that I'm listening, now they're going to be more likely to listen to some of the things that I might suggest. I know you've been in those conversations before where someone's just talking to you and talking at you. And you're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, and you're waiting to talk versus really hearing what they have to say. And the art of exchange of people with people who you don't necessarily agree with, it's not easy all the time. But if you can remember, we all have that heartbeat, right? We all have that muscle in there that is pounding away at our blood. We all have blood inside our veins. Does not matter. It's red. It doesn't matter what our outsides look like. And if you start with what we have in common and realize that that breath I just took is similar to the breath you just took, all the chemical stuff going on in our body, it's the same. Or thinking, that's probably a little bit different. So that, my friends, is what I have for this evening. Yeah, sorry. I'm going to throw this up since Gina had it out there. Act correctly when no one is watching. And like I said, that's near impossible in today's day and age. But that is still the idea behind it, is be the right person. Be the person who shows compassion to yourself and compassion to others. Okay. And that's what I got. DJ, anything else I'm supposed to throw up on the screen that I've missed? I just happened to grab Gina's.

Yeah, I'm going to bring up my comment, actually. I said, don't hate the player, hate the game, or at least strongly dislike it. You know, hate is a strong word, but, uh, that's Don't Hate the Player by Ice-T. And I can't believe that I'm pulling up an Ice-T quote from way back. I mean, we're talking at the break of the century, revealing my age a little bit there. But, you know, within the context of that song, it doesn't apply quite so much to your message, but dissected from it, I kind of like that. And I think that people can relate to that in some ways, the way that you describe it, particularly with those that we love, like those who are very close to us. Sometimes we do cut them a little bit extra slack kind of thing. And you know, there's another pop culture reference worked in there, and it comes from a Quentin Tarantino film. If you've seen Pulp Fiction, there's a line in there that's apropos for this chat as well. And I'm kind of surprised to be drawing those things on these days, but I'm glad to be here. And, uh, it's good stuff, Brooke. It's good stuff.

Very cool. Um, yeah, so, so separating from an action from a person also makes it— it makes it so much better. Um, Tony actually goes into a really long, uh, story about he had an assistant who does everything for him all the time. She was amazing, spectacular. And this one time he's in a concert and he needed something and she wasn't there and she didn't get it. And his first reaction was anger and madness and disappointment. But then he asked the most important question: what could this mean? He'd asked someone to do something for him who normally was very responsible, and for whatever reason, that person failed. And initially, our general first reaction to almost anything is anger.. And so recognize your anger, say, oh, look, there it is. And then ask, what, wait, what could this mean? And the long story short is he'd asked for something like copies for the audience and they weren't there. And later, after getting a chance to talk to her to find out what had happened, she'd gone all over the, all over the state or country to try to find this because it was a Sunday night or something. And there was just nothing open. But you could have such better conversations if you actually give people this shadow of the doubt and ask, ooh, what could this mean? Are they really trying to be a jerk or do we just have miscommunication? And I am the first one to say miscommunication is almost always the thing. But somehow we're afraid to ask that question and say, hey, wait a second, did you really say what you think you just said? And 'How did you mean that?' Because I've also been on the other side when it's, um, I will say something, it'll go around my head like, 'Oh, I can't believe I called Charlie up.' No, I didn't say that. Um, but, and then I call Charlie up, he's like, 'Yeah, I didn't even notice you said anything.' So we can go the opposite direction too. All right, yes. Um, when in conversation, do you listen or do you just wait to talk? And I'm not gonna lie, many of us often are just waiting to talk, especially when it's something emotional like our Second Amendment rights, or when we're trying to help or talk to. Um, I wait to talk, but I'm trying to listen. Yeah, because it's hard. It's a skill you have to actually work at. It is not something that comes naturally, just like I tell all of my students in class. Um, it does Nothing is easy. We all have to practice it.

And with active listening, it's not just your ears, the literal portion of that, that should be awakened and should be focused. Often, I meet the speaker's eyes. I find that if I maintain, you know, human communication, I could pick a lot up facially. But if I start at the eyes, I know how intent someone is about expressing what it is they're trying to express. Leaning in is another indication that I'm kind of sensitive to in conversations, because if someone is leaning in, that body language says that this is an important expression or this is important information. You need to sit tight and listen keenly while I play for you a brand new musical biscuit. Holy, I've worked in 3 references, pop culture references to tonight's program. Interesting, that's big audio dynamite out there. It's been a dynamite topic, I dig this.

Go ahead. I'm laughing because you're talking about leaning in. I'm like, dude, you're always at loud concerts. Of course I have to lean in to hear you.

Right on. Yep. Truer words never spoken.

But actually, I was listening to a thing on neuroplasticity today or yesterday. I haven't had time to do anything like that today. And they were actually talking about you really focusing on something. And one of the things they're talking about is when you focus on a little tiny area that you can actually focus. And that's why our phones suck us in so hard. But they actually said if you want someone to really listen to you, don't ask them to look you in the eyes. They're like, because they have to really concentrate to actually focus on it with what they're listening to. So if someone's not looking you in the eyes, don't take it as if they're they could actually really be focusing on you as well. This goes back to treat others as you wish to be treated, except when they want to be treated different than you. So this is why communication can be so hard. All right, well, my friends, I think it is time to bring this to a close. Mr. DJ, you got anything else?

Just that— and I've expressed it a couple of times over, so we'll make it the triumvirate. I really enjoyed today's topic, and I'm glad to be here every Saturday evening with you and those that choose to gather live or in replay. I think an important thing, and I pass this in a lot of other chats, is we seem to know each other to some degree, primarily through YouTube. That's my relationships are built on— a lot of them are built here, and that's to share. I mean, like, comment, share, subscribe. Okay, most of us are subscribed to channels that we, you know, that match our interests or our affinities, but it's the sharing thing. I mean, I find people mentioning your name far more often than they're able, if they're able to drop a link or just hit that share and the thumbs up kind of thing. I'm not being critical of anybody here because, you know, they exhibit those, you know, more positive behaviors, but Sometimes I'm like, really people, it's 2 buttons. Have we been reduced, you know, via AI and other things to the point where we don't even wanna move a finger a quarter of an inch on our way out the door? I kinda don't get it.

It's a mouse, it's a little tiny mouse finger.

Yeah, yeah, and no doubt. And so I encourage people to do that often. You know, folks out there now and in replay, You know, not just, uh, this program or this channel. When you have an interest in something, if you have a conversation with somebody about it, send them out a couple of links. Give them some place to do that deep dive, someplace that you have been that you find a value. Also really intimately expresses where your head is at. So I like to come to know people through their music a heck of a lot. And, uh, Justin Timberlake, just not on my list, but I understand that it helped He helps people to locum. Yeah, we caught you.

Oh, well, you know, I like all sorts of stuff. Or you can be like Gwebs, who just is internally upon the interweb and YouTube and is just everywhere all the time. So there is always that. So, all right. Carrie-Ann, hi. Gwebs, nice to see you. And I I will see you all in about 15 minutes because I still gotta do my dry fire for tonight. So anyway, good night everyone. Be kind, be nice, um, know someone is always watching because no matter where you go, there you are. And you want to be true to who you are. So with that, I say good night, I bid you adieu, and I will see you next Saturday.