Suicide Prevention Sat - Last words of advice from a man who died today.

All right, so yeah, I am never gonna say I am a technology wizard. Just not likely. However, I set up the camera so I can have a Christmas tree coming out of my head. Wait, let me move this way. Ta-da! It's Christmas time-ish, give or take. Um, let's see. Can't post comments to some designations. Oh, I thought I fixed the Facebook thing. I don't know. So I don't know what StreamYard's telling me other than when I post comments, apparently some of you will see them and some of them you will not. All right, so let's see. Hi to Guns and Barbecue, MK Joe, MK Joe, MK Joe Gun Websites. How y'all doing this evening? If you want me to say hi to you, say hi to me in the chat, especially on Facebook, because even when you pop up and it says someone is watching, it does not tell me who. So, hey DJ, and I would send them to you, you know I would, right? So, um, this is my pre-doing-nothing part of the show since people like, oh, I don't know, barbecue, have said I never get there on time. So I figured if I do a little bit of nothing for a few first few moments, people say, oh look, she's gone live. Although I will say the handy-dandy little planning this ahead and saying, announcing I'm going to do it at 9 also kind of helps me stay on track. So, and someday I will have a fancy intro like Barbecue or Gun Websites or any of y'all. I gotta go check out your site, DJ. I've actually not been to your channel yet. So anyway, okay, 2 minutes left. Should I just sit here and like not move and everyone will think that I'm actually frozen? And that— yeah, anyway, that'd be boring. So I don't know, I'm I guess I shall talk. I will just start early. It's 1 minute left. Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things whenever you watch a replay, it's always, hi replay viewers, because y'all are the only ones who see the beginning. So, but look, I have Post-its today, so maybe I'll stay on target. You never know. So, all right. So starting with, hi, my name is Brooke Cheney and I am the owner instructor here at A Great Start Shooting School. And what else? Um, this is Suicide Prevention Saturday, if you did not know what you're watching or why you are here. As a firearms instructor, as a mom, as a gun owner, I am very empowered to be able to share with you that 2 out of every 3 gun deaths are a suicide. And when you hear the horrible statistics of 30,000 people a year getting killed by firearms, please understand, if we want to save 66% of those people, we need to be focusing on suicide prevention. Now, in the gun world, we have also focused specifically on veteran suicide prevention because veterans were one of the largest groups to die by firearm. When I started in the competition world, I went to a club, or I, we did a thing called Aiming for Zero because when I went to my first event, I learned that 22 veterans a day are committing suicide. Now, obviously not all of them are by gun, but the fact that 22, 22 suicides a day are just in our veteran community. Imagine if we actually paid attention to mental health and getting help. So Suicide Prevention Saturday, because we talk about things that are uncomfortable and nobody else wants to talk about, and talk about how they blend into gun ownership. So last week, review, we talked about death and faith. Uh, where are you going? Uh, John, who is my friend who died today, talked about what are his options. So one of the things we talked about was where is he going, and everybody's got a different idea of where they're gonna go. So here's my picture of the pearly gates. Wait, if I go like this, then you can see it, right? This is probably one of the most common things that most people will think about, because— and yes, Greg, we can absolutely do a podcast in January. Um, so pearly gates. Here's one of the things many Christians, when we think about heaven, this is what we think about, is this is where we're going. Now, there's other places that you may or may not go, right? I had an amazing teacher in high school freshman year, and what did she teach us about? She taught us about all of the Greek and Roman gods. So another place you might end up going when you die is to the underground. Now it could be— sorry, the underworld. The underground, I believe, is how you get around in London, but I'm going to— sorry, turn off that underground. Back to Tartarus. There we go. Underworld, and that was ruled by Hades. And you had Tartarus, the Fields of Mourning— I'm sure I'm going to say it wrong— the Asphodel Meadows, and the Elysian Fields. Luckily, my English teacher is not currently watching. And then perhaps you're of the North mythology sort of people, and I know you can't read this because it's awful tiny, so I'll go back to just me. But death scares people mainly, often, because they don't know. They don't have a plan. They don't know what they're doing, and they don't know where they're going. So John and I talked about that this weekend. Where are you going? What are your plans? Now, as born-again Christian, the offer is choose Christ and go to heaven. Um, and then as a pagan, there's lots of options there. I'm not even gonna go there. So The point is we don't talk about death hardly ever. And then we really don't talk about, well, where are you going? And I know many people are afraid. Do you hit Dante? No, I'm not going to go there. I just— these were— remember, these are supposed to be short, DJ. If you want to get into the Inferno, we'll have a whole nother conversation about that. But I was just about to say, a lot of people think there's two. There's heaven and there's hell. And then we were having a discussion about some Catholics believe there's heaven. There's hell, and in the middle is purgatory. So there's so many different belief systems. I mean, look at the Egyptians— they brought everything with them because they're going on to the next world and they needed everything to come with them. So it's something to think about, that maybe if you think about where you think you're going to go, that it will help you find some peace, or at least something to have a conversation about. As again, the purpose of today is suicide prevention, and so if you think you're going to kill yourself, please don't, but also call someone. In Connecticut, it's 211. I've talked to a couple other people who tell me that is actually mostly nationwide. Um, an 811 call center is supposed to come out, I think, in 2022. I really have to look into that. So Um, review last week, did that. Where are you going? You got to figure that out for you. I am so not here to tell you where to go. It's a good day, you don't want me to tell you where to go. All right, uh, I don't know if y'all noticed, but while you're waiting for the show to play, my thumbnail was up and it says, what's good about this? And for those of you who haven't heard the story before, In 2007, my sister, my baby sister, was killed in a car accident, and my mom and I said, what's good about this? And when I tell this story to most people, especially right after the funeral, after the death of my sister, and I said we asked what good— what is good about this? My mom and I agreed on the front porch of our house at the time to say, what's good about this? And people are like, are you kidding me? And And it's like, well, yes, because obviously we know it sucks. We are not going to be creating memories with that person anymore. We will miss them. We will be sad we did not say goodbye. We will be upset because that person's light has been turned off in this existing realm where we currently are. So what is good about this is not the question most people ask at funerals. They say, sorry for your loss. And that's kind of it because we don't know what else to say at someone's funeral. So this past week has been a little bit weird in that my friend John, who was dying, um, we went and said goodbye. And so we got to ask him questions about, you know, what's your favorite memory? Because I find when I go to funerals I ask that question, it's like, what's your favorite memory? What, what do you remember the most? Why is it you're going to miss this person so much? And, you know, generally it ends in laughter or maybe some crying, but generally it's a happy feeling because when we are sad about losing someone, we tend to forget about them and we're really grieving our loss because John is no longer with us because he's in— so he was in so much pain. Now ideally, he is on to a painless version of his being. I also believe in Einstein relativity. Nothing is— or not relativity, but nothing is created destroyed. We just simply change what we were. So a piece of paper gets eaten by the fire, but the energy goes on, for those of you who want the basic physics behind that one. So sadness energy, um, whatever they're called— funerals. So we kind of had a week-long funeral of saying goodbye to our friend. And one of the things that we've talked about in the past is what are we really sad about when someone dies. And I think it's what I just said, as far as we're sad we're not going to create any more memories with them. However, sometimes we forget to be happy for them because they are no longer in pain, they are no longer suffering. And what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So when you break a bone, which I broke my scapula, which the doc said is one of the harder bones to break, um, it's that chicken wing in your back if you don't know. Um, so wherever you break a bone the faster— or not the faster, wherever it heals is where it's the strongest part of the bone. So as much as we wish we didn't have pain and suffering, the truth of the matter is the more that we suffer and we grow through that, that is what makes us stronger. So dialogue is super tough. I usually offer the typical support phrase and whenever relevant, try to share anecdotes of my experience with the deceased. Right, exactly, DJ. And so here's the part of that too, is that last year, Christmas Eve, I got a phone call because my friend's neighbor committed suicide on Christmas Eve. And she called me and she's like, what do I do? And I'm like, write down stuff, write down your favorite memories of that person. When my sister died, we did just that. We made a scrapbook for the funeral for the, um, the wake as well as the funeral and after for people to write down their favorite memories of my sister. And we— my dad, when my father died, he was another one that we were expecting him to die. He also had been suffering for a long time and he decided that it was finished, so we let him go and At the, at the funeral, aka summer party that we had for him, to give you an idea of the character of my father, he really liked blowing things up. And most of the stories had fast cars, explosions, or sharp, sharp things in the conversation somewhere in together sometimes, um, because he had been into pyrotechnics and had worked for fire, um, work companies. He— we actually had someone take his ashes, and for his departure party, we had him put into the fireworks display that we then had shot off. So he literally was at his final party, and it just seemed very fitting. Anyway, that's a whole other tangent, I suppose, but it's just we all deal with death differently. My dad had been suicidal for a long part of his life. And every birthday was a surprise to him. He never thought he would make it. He was very much an adrenaline junkie, and it is pretty amazing. Everyone thinks at 63 he died young, and I'm like— my brother and I are like, no, no, he probably made it a good 30 years longer than anyone expected him to make it. So as much as most people are like, oh, so young, we're like, yeah, it's a miracle. My, my sister though Senior in college. Yeah, that's pretty young, but she was here for a purpose. She made people happy. She made people smile. And we are sad that she is not a teacher and an aunt and all of those things. But this is where having faith when you are distressed is super important because if you have faith, then you know, or you have a belief that there is something more than just what you see or hear right here and now. So this is why people with faith are happier. And I'm not choosing a faith for anyone, um, just letting, uh, just letting you think about some of the options that are out there. Yeah, let's see. Break a bone, strongest part when it's healed. Now the important part of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is that you do have to heal. Uh, Mike is on. Uh, he just said death of others make you appreciate life even more. 'Appreciate your loved ones, friends, and everyone,' right? He, he had the traumatic experience of waking up to his best friend, and his best friend was gone. So when we're broken, whether it's anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, fear, we have to make sure that we get on a path that will allow us to heal, because we're only going to be stronger if we actually heal. Now, your path and my path are going to be different. It's going to take different amounts of time, all of these things. But just know you need to keep looking to get stronger and find your way, whether it's counseling, meditation, walks in the woods. I know that's Mike's favorite, it's going for walks in the woods. Um, artwork, cleaning, everyone's got their thing that actually makes them feel centered and whole., and you have to find your thing. So I had this conversation with my daughter. We have to remember our happiness is an inside job. The world is crazy, always has been, always will be. Every generation thinks their generation is worse than the last, but the truth of the matter is it's always nuts. For our happiness, we have to figure out what it is. 'Cause if DJ here didn't like explosions and fast cars and knives, he might leave. And then I could be sad 'cause I have one less viewer. But the truth of the matter is, if I have faith that I will have more viewers, um, then that will work out well for me. But without faith and don't have confidence in myself, it will be much harder. So happiness inside job, that's it. Okay, it's 9:13, 2 minutes to wrap this up. Now, if you read the description— there we go, I know what this is— um, you will know that I, uh, put in there John's dying words, right? Well, he wasn't— his dying words, he just knew that he would be dead today, and I said, okay, All right, John, what words of wisdom, knowing that your time is ticking out quickly, do you have for my viewers? So if I can do this right, I'm going to share two pieces. Um, all right, so number one, maybe— ta-da! I'm so excited when it works. All right, so this is on John's wall. So, When Tomorrow Starts Without Me. When tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand. The angel said my place was ready in heaven far above, and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly loved. But when you— when I walked through heaven's gate, I felt so much at home, for God looked down, smiled at me, and told me, welcome home. So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart. For every time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart. So how do I switch back? I'm gonna get— oh, look at this! I get so excited when I get all goody technical. So anyway, that was on his Facebook wall. Those were not the actual words that he said. I have them written right here. But see, this is the cliffhanger, right? Y'all want to know. So I'm going to read DJ and Guns. So, strong and weak places, rebuilding from being broken. Tough road. Yeah, DJ doesn't like any of those things. He likes controlled burns, walking in baby steps and dull spoons. I don't know who's being serious here or not. I don't know DJ well enough. So anyway, um, see, you all get— y'all get me confused when I don't pay attention to what I'm doing. All right, it's 15 minutes. I really should go now. So anyway, John's words of wisdom on the last time I saw him were Ready? Drum roll. Live each day to the fullest. That's it. Most of us will never have the blessing that John had to know when his last day was. Back to Greek mythology that my teacher taught me in freshman year high school. Cyclops. Were the only ones who knew the day they were going to die. The rest of us don't know. Now, those of you who have suicidal tendencies and you are thinking that today is the day, I say no, don't do that. There are people that will miss you, and there are people that need you, and you need to build back so that you can be stronger, just like any broken bone. The road to recovery is not easy. It's not simple, but you'll be a better person when it's done, and you'll be able to learn and teach others that, that you've learned. So no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, understand this too shall pass, whether it's good or bad. So enjoy it if it's good, get through it if it's bad, and in general, have a nice weekend. All right, good night all. I will see you next weekend, I think. Uh, yeah, a little update: I am going in for surgery on Thursday. I have no idea what condition I'm going to be in next Saturday, so it may end up being another Suicide Prevention Saturday on a Sunday depending on how everything goes. It's just knee surgery, but I just don't know, so I'm trying not to make plans until after surgery to figure out what that all is. And, uh, yes, I will talk to you all later, and probably Saturday, but if not, definitely Sunday. And I'll see you guys later. Thanks for all your support, and thank you, Gunn's website, for all my stuff. I meant to bring stuff down here and show people, but I forgot, so that'll have to be another, another video. All right, good night all.